Chapter 5- To Antibodies And Beyond
A Week Later
Time really was the biggest healer. Of course everyone was still worried and concerned regarding Jay's declining health, but now they were more accepting of it, understanding that beyond him surviving Covid he was looking at a long road of treatment and recovery ahead of him. The tears had been shed and the disbelief had dissipated. Jay was in trouble but they had a game plan. Step one was to get three negative Covid tests out of him. Step two was to move him to the regular ICU and get the full picture of how damaged his lungs truly were; get the full scope on what Covid and its' pneumonia truly did to him. It would be up there that things really hit the fan, but for right in this moment things were looking good.
Since his difficult day with the roommate, Jay decided to hold steady. It wasn't in a good, healthy place, but his body found something to grab hold of and rest on. His fever was finally going back down to a point where the anti-seizure meds were removed. His blood oxygen was sitting comfortably in the high 70s. The blood pressure was still high and being regulated with medication, but again it was hanging in there. Jay was a living version of a waiting period. It's almost like his body knew what was coming down the line and got that it had to rest up for that moment. The real dangers still lay in front of him, best to be ready. To those on the outside, it was easy to see this as Jay improving or being past all his issues. But to those treating him there was a growing sense of dread. This holding pattern was usually followed by a sudden, sharp decline into very dangerous circumstances. Will, Jay's doctor, everyone that was on the frontline had seen it happen enough times to expect it. All too often patients would be awake or coherent enough to communicate with family one afternoon, only to be unconscious and recording record low blood oxygen levels and stopped hearts the next morning. Given how bad Jay was when he first arrived and how hard it was to keep him stable, no one spoke it, but all were pleasantly surprised that he was not only still alive but close to being transferred to another floor. In Jay's tenure on the Covid ICU floor, the floor had lost over twenty patients, none of them as bad off as Jay was. He certainly was a miracle, an odd defier at this point.
"How's he looking," Hailey asked?
"I'm almost there, hold on," Will spoke as he waved his pass on the door scanner. Those two were also slipping right in to a normal pattern. Hailey was just about cleared to return to the field, whenever that time was, and she was well beyond ready for that. She'd watched all the TV that she could and completed enough desk work to fulfill a desk sergeant's duties. She needed to breath the fresh air, walk onto a crime scene and chase some bad guys, the wall staring was slowly killing her. She felt like a stay at home mom. Her 'husband' left for work in the mornings, she made him coffee and breakfast before waving him out the door. Her mornings were then filled with tidying and laundry before settling into her little work station and busying herself for hours. At 5pm, when everyone else was coming in for the day, she was masked up and walking her three laps around the block. Dinner was prepared and served just as Will walked through the door. They'd talk about their days before discussing Jay. Will cleaned up the kitchen while she grabbed a glass of wine and cranked up the evening news, sighing over the ever terrifying and tragic tales of the virus that was taking over the world. This was a life simulation she never saw coming, never ever envisioned those couple weeks ago when they walked out of the twenty-first. This was all supposed to be happening with Jay by her side, not with him in the background and Will being her provider, comforter, and confidant. But still, as odd as it all was, she wouldn't trade it for another scenario. Well, perhaps one, but the fact Jay was alive and looking to be ever closer to clearing this terrible illness, Hailey took her new way of life in stride.
"They're just getting started with the lavage."
"Ugh, poor Jay. I'm sure he hates it."
"Yeah. I don't know who would like it." The process of the lung lavage was quite simple. They took a large dose of antibiotic solution and saline and injected it into the lungs, allowed it to sit in the lungs for half an hour before suctioning everything out and starting over in the other lung. The good news was that the treatment was working, the infection finally releasing its' grip on his lungs. The bad side was how uncomfortable it was for Jay to live through and Will to watch. Bone chilling was the appropriate description of Will as he listened to his brother gargle and fight for air as best his body could. Even in his heavily sedated, exhausted state Jay fought, making the world know he was very unhappy with what was happening to him via increased heart rate. It took everything in Will to not reach over and stop the mild torture. He hated seeing Jay suffer. But despite it all, the treatment was working. So as he did every other time he watched this thing go down, Will took Jay's hand and coaxed him to let things work.
"Hang in there, bud. It's almost done. You're doing great," Will spoke, cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder.
"Hailey says good morning." Hailey chuckled and said to add that she missed him, which Will would say once everyone was out of the room.
"And we are done," the doctor announced as the tubing and towels were removed from around Jay's upper body. The other part that baffled and surprised Will was how accustomed he was to seeing Jay in the state he was in. All the tubing, wiring, devices that were so off-putting and obstructing things a week ago were now just fixtures of Jay's life. Will still concluded that Jay looked like a peaceful sleeping baby, but now close to two weeks in he could start to make out the damage Covid had done. Jay was certainly thinner. No one had weighed him or even guessed, but with the lack of movement and very little calories going into him it had to be over ten pounds now that Jay lost. Will could see the change in his face, arms, the middle looking more shallow than ever. It was disheartening, to see the shell of a once perfectly fit and healthy body shrivel under the pressure and strain of the virus, but the cost was worth it. Jay would find a way to rebound, Will knew that for certain.
"Hey, I've got to go. Voight's calling me," Hailey spoke as Will watched the dreaded Covid nose swap get pulled out of it's sleeve.
"Okay. I'll let you know the results of the test," Will left with.
"Thanks."
"Two more results to go!"
"God, I can't wait for him to get out of there…and for me to leave this apartment."
"Maybe you'll both move out of your spots at the same time."
"Wouldn't that be something. I've really got to go. Bye." Hailey left before Will could speak, smirking as he put his phone away and turning his attention to Jay. The rule of thumb was three negative tests before he got transferred to the regular ICU. Jay was on day twelve now, well within the timeframe to begin transferring out. The floor had seen some patients test negative on day ten, eleven, even twelve; well ahead of the presumed fourteen day incubation period. While they weren't as sick as Jay, it was uplifting to see people healing ahead of time. With all that still lay ahead for Jay, Will and Hailey wanted nothing more than for him to get out of this place and into the next stage of things. They started testing him overnight and so far, his results had come back negative.
"And here we go," the doctor announced as the swab was stuck far into Jay's nose, Will silently counting the twenty seconds before the swab popped out. The same was done to the other nostril. Everything sealed up and sent off to the lab less than a minute later.
"So, how did he do overnight?"
"Surprisingly well. It appears the infection is just about gone. We'll keep him on the IV antibiotics till he gets moved up, but we're going to finish the lavage session today and then scope him tomorrow. If that comes back normal then were done with the treatment." Will let out a silent applause, wanting to shake his brother in pride and excitement for potentially getting through things.
"What about pain, aches?"
"Doesn't look like he has any of that anymore. He's off all pain meds and the fever is finally in a mild category. Aside from the lung damage he's made an incredible recovery." Will nodded and smirked, looking over his unconscious brother. The dumbass had done it, hopefully.
"When do we start diving into the lung damage and assessing those long term problems."
"That's for the ICU to deal with. We're just here to get them through Covid and then send them home or ship them to somewhere else in the hospital."
"Yeah, okay." Will's phone chimed, alerting him that his shift started in five minutes.
"I've got to get checked in and get started."
"Sounds good! He's doing well considering." Will grabbed Jay's hand once more, smirking as he spoke.
"See you later, man. Hang in there!" Will turned on his heels and bounded out the door. They were so close, Jay was so close to getting free. It all was going so well. So why was Will waiting for the other shoe to drop.
…
"Hey Sarge, what's up?"
"Caught another case. Wondered if you'd be able to get to the scene? You're the closest." Hailey was halfway to the front door at the mention of a crime scene. She jokingly thought the day would never come. She was pulling boots on and grabbing for a coat as she answered.
"Absolutely! But, what about the two weeks? I'm only on day twelve."
"Hailey, just wear a mask. If you haven't gotten it by now then I think you're in the clear." Hailey decided to ignore the fact that Voight wasn't a doctor or epidemiologist, just too excited for words to get back out into the field. Granted, she was going to miss her partner ever so, but she was finally free. If only the same could be said for him.
"Will do, Sarge. I'm out the door now."
"Good. How's Jay doing today?"
"Okay, I think. Will said the antibiotic treatment went well and he's had one negative Covid test."
"What does he need in order to get out of there?"
"Three. And it has to be over thirty-six hours."
"Good. We're thinking of him and hoping he comes out of this."
"Me too," Hailey quietly replied. She was hitting the button on the elevator several times, still thinking that sped things up. Why was she suddenly getting emotional? She was headed off to work, she should be elated over that. But that wasn't the reason for her sudden onset of tears and heartache.
"Text me the address," she spoke as the elevator finally arrived and she boarded.
"Will do," Voight signed off. Dabbing under her eyes, Hailey pulled the mask to her face closer, exhaling through her mouth as the doors opened and she made her way through the front entrance of the apartment building. The lobby, hallways, everything was still deserted, people still hunkered down in their bubbles of safety and privacy. It had only been two weeks since the world shut down, but this lack of social interaction was still affecting Hailey, deeply. She missed the noise, the calamity of people being with other people, having a life and enjoying the simple pleasures of it all. She waved down the maintenance guy, greeting him like he was her best friend. It was the first human outside of Will that she'd come in contact with in two weeks, the poor guy just waved to her in a scared, surprised manner. But Hailey didn't care if she caused a small amount of embarrassment for herself. She missed the old ways of life that much.
It hit her like a ton of bricks, the reason why she was so emotional: Jay wasn't with her. Of course, that one was obvious to all. But she missed him, like more than ever at that moment. As she walked up to the truck that was still parked in the exact same spot Jay left it, purely out of habit she walked to the passenger side, blushing under the mask when she reminded herself that it was just her this time around. She could almost hear his footsteps as they left the sidewalk and ventured into the street. Hailey seemed to be tracing his steps, sticking her head out into the street to check for traffic before taking the next step. Just as it was inside, no one was outside. No car to honk at her, no bicyclist to ring their stupid little bell and tell her to watch for him. Nothing was out there. A stray newspaper drifting in the low yet blustery wind wouldn't have gone unnoticed. The street had a very eery quiet to it, like the end of the world had come and gone and somehow she missed the last bus out of town. Hailey sighed, pulling her jacket close before pressing the button to unlock the truck, climbed in, and shut the door.
"Good grief," she stuttered upon sitting in Jay's seat. Never had his height and build been more obvious than in the moments of having to transition the driver's seat. Hailey sat there for a good amount of time, tapping her free fingers on the steering wheel as she slowly rose to a level of being able to see over the wheel and out into the street. Jay must've put the seat at it's lowest level and she needed to be close to the top, given how long it took to adjust everything. On the way up to level ground she noted his gloves in the console, telling herself to not lose it because the last thing anyone needed was her being an emotional mess at a crime scene. Hailey grabbed the gloves and tossed them in the back seat, clearing her throat and adjusting herself once more as her phone chimed Voight's text message about where she was headed. Hailey selected the address, waited for her phone to begin the directions, and then started the truck and took off. She swore she heard Jay comment about how quickly she peeled away, making her smile to herself. Good grief she missed him.
Very randomly, she choose a classical station, seeming to fit the mood of the city. All was quiet, dull, very mellow and somber. It didn't feel right to bop to some Top 40 tunes and certainly any kind of rock music would've woken the whole place up. Plus, Hailey just wanted to think, feel the moment of being sprung free from her place. She fell into a bit of a trance. Between the serene mood of things to the soft spoken Siri telling her things turn by turn, Hailey was on autopilot. Her mind kept flashing images of him: his smile, his serious face, him lying on his stomach passed out in bed, him sitting at his desk, eyebrows twitching as she climbed the steps of Intelligence.
"Dammit," she muttered under her breath, biting her lip as she made another left turn towards her final destination. She couldn't cry, she could not lose it. This was going to be her first time seeing everyone since they split up, they didn't need to see her like this. Hailey sniffed and wiped under her nose, in doing so noting that a figure was sitting in her passenger seat. It couldn't be, there was absolutely no way. Her mind was snapping once more, playing cruel tricks on her. How could he be slumped over in the passenger seat, arm resting on the window as he slept in perfect peace.
"Jay," she inquisitively asked, coming to a stop at the red light and fully looking over at him. How was this happening to her, twice now. He was right there, but she knew that this couldn't be the case. He had on the usual work attire: the dark, tight fit jeans with his button down shirt poking out the top of his winter coat; his favorite work boots scuffed at the toe from all his running, leaping, and tackling. He looked amazing.
"How does this keep happening," she spoke in a strong, yet slightly annoyed tone. Jay jolted at her comment, immediately bringing his head up before stretching his whole self. He almost touched her, Hailey getting a good whiff of his essence.
"What?"
"YOU! How do you keep showing up in my life when it's really not possible?" Jay smiled at her, chuckled as he shook his head.
"Like I said last time, this is all you. I'm just a part of your imagination."
"So what, I'm just crazy? Should I be going to a neurologist and getting my head checked out?"
"No, no. I think it's just because you miss me so much that you've manifested me being here."
"Shut up," she teased, smirking as she got the truck rolling again. She was a few blocks out from her destination, suddenly hating that she was close. This little moment with fake Jay felt to be a fleeting moment, that the second she looked away or got out that he'd be gone, at some point forever. Jay coughed in the passenger seat, excusing himself as Hailey long blinked. That sound, the noise coming out of his chest would forever haunt her. It was a not so friendly reminder of reality.
"How are you feeling," she asked him, catching a quick glance of him. He furrowed his brow, sitting up even more in his seat before he spoke.
"Uh, it's getting harder to breathe."
"Yeah, but that's why you're on the ventilator. It's supposed to be helping."
"It is. But even with that…Hailey, I don't know how much longer I can hang on. I'm really tired." Hailey allowed a couple tears to drip down her face, slowly nodding as she found a place to park. She noted the yellow tape, the flashing lights of patrol cars already on the scene and watched the officers clear the scene and ready it for her and the rest of the team to comb over everything.
"I know," she eventually spoke.
"I'm sure it's really hard. You've been through so much already, survived way longer than anyone thought." She looked away from the world outside the windshield, the tears full on streaming and eyes glistening as she met his apologetic face. She couldn't let go, but in that moment felt like a creep for trying to keep him in misery and exhaustion. He eventually looked her in the eye, perhaps tears forming in his eyes as well.
"I'm sorry," he said, tearing away from her and looking down towards his lap.
"Jay, I don't want to lose you. But I also don't want you to suffer. If giving up is the right thing for you…" She couldn't bring herself to finish, labored breathing through puffed cheeks as she kept telling herself to knock it off, that all of this was crazy.
"Tonight, Will is going to talk to you about something crazy and scary. Let him do it."
"Do what? How can you know what's going to happen tonight?" Jay looked over at her.
"Hailey, I keep saying this: I'm just a part of your imagination. You know what's coming." She was beyond perplexed, had not a clue in the world what Jay was talking about. She knew nothing about Covid and treating it or whatever course of action would be taken to save Jay.
"Now go, work the case. I'll be fine." Hailey shook her head, looking up into those stunning green eyes one more time, getting lost in the stunning, strong, perfect face looking right back at her.
"I love you," she said while reaching out to him, out of habit. It was a mistake, or blessing, on her part, because the second she reached out and touched the fake shoulder he was gone; vanished like a bubble or puff of smoke. Hailey shuttered over how quickly he was gone, yet another creepy illustration of how fast everything changed. She rubbed under her eyes, donned her mask, and braced for the cold blast of the late March weather. For Jay, she was doing all of this and being brave for him.
It was amazing how quickly and easily she went back into the routine. As she was trained and done in her entire career, Hailey began by first observing the scene, taking it all in and grasping the big picture. It was a home invasion, the family being home and obviously shaken up. They were being attended to by fellow officers, their statements being written down as Hailey crossed under the yellow tape and into the main entryway of the house. It was a very nice, a well kept three story townhouse. They were definitely an above average family, the textured walls, glamorous decorating, and remaining modern and high priced paintings along the walls proof that this family wanted for little. Based on the family photos it was a group of five, three children and two parents, all perfect and smiling and not a care in the world. As Hailey worked the rooms she couldn't help but feel the fear, shock, sadness. The house seemed to be talking, telling her that it's fortress of protection had been violated. The once perfect illusion of safety was taken from them without warning. Hailey couldn't help but see how that was the case in her own life. The once perfect, safe, carefree world she'd built up was snatched out of her hands without her permission or opportunity to defend or say farewell. She sighed as she felt that one, still doing her best to shake away the emotions. This was really not the place for that.
"Hailey," echoed from the doorway.
"In the kitchen" she called to the voice of Kim. Hailey put on her best brave face, smiled cautiously under her mask as Kim, Adam, Kevin trickled into the eating area.
"God, I thought we'd never see you again," Kim spoke while holding her in a warm hug. Hailey didn't know how badly she needed one of those till she was enveloped in one. Kim started to pull away but Hailey clung tight. Kim didn't say anything, just allowed Hailey her little moment of quiet and safety. Lord only knew that if it was Adam in Med fighting Covid right now, she'd probably be worse off than Hailey was. She admired her strength and calmness in the middle of so much uncertainty.
"How's he doing," Kim pulled away with?
"Good, holding," Hailey spoke as Adam was next in line for a hug.
"He's starting the process of getting tested so he can move to another floor. He needs three negative tests and so far he's tested negative for one. They were doing the second test this morning when I called Will and we're waiting for results."
"So he's not coming home once he gets cleared," Adam asked? Hailey shook her head, feeling the tight grip of Kevin's arms around her waist as they hugged.
"No, his lungs are too damaged for him to be released."
"So what are his options then?" Hailey shrugged.
"Doctor says he needs to be cleared of Covid before they start figuring all of that out. But he's hanging in there, doing the best he can." Hailey swore for a split second she saw Jay leaning against the doorway behind everyone with his arms crossed, nodding and smiling proudly at her. But a double take showed that to not be the case, unfortunately.
"What've we got," Voight greeted his team with. Hailey noted the lack of a hug or word of encouragement or welcoming of her back to the team, but then again that was never going to be Voight. To the point, always on the job, he was always going to be the person that brought them all back to the task at hand. Hailey took the lead on telling everyone what happened. Several paintings were stolen, the family held at gunpoint, bound, and threatened as their precious belongings were ransacked in front of them. The invaders all wore ski masks, none of the family able to make out any distinguishable feature other than the bad guys were tall and scary. The house did have a security system and the tapes were in the process of being sent over. From there Voight split everyone up into their duties, Hailey being partnered with Kevin and she was eagerly looking forward to some quality time between the two of them. Since Kevin came in with Voight, she offered Kevin the keys to the truck and he didn't hesitate to accept. Let's be honest, they all were biting at the chance to drive Jay's truck. She had just sat down in the passenger seat when her phone buzzed, pulling it out of her pocket she got excited over who it was.
"Hey Will," she spoke as the truck started up.
"Hey! Sounds like you're outside. Did you leave the apartment?"
"Yeah! We have another case and Voight gave me the clearance to get back out into the field."
"Good! I'm sure you're excited for that."
"You have no idea."
"Well, just wanted to tell you that he tested negative again." Hailey might've let out a small squeal of delight.
"Will! That's so awesome. So does that mean he could be transferred tonight?"
"Maybe. It would be pretty late but it's possible."
"Well whenever it is, I'm sure some part of Jay will be very excited."
"True, true. Okay, I've got to go. Just wanted to tell you the good news."
"Okay, me too. And thanks, Will. I appreciate it." With promises to check in at a later time, and go over dinner ideas, the two of them went back to their lives: Will helping a patent who was crashing while Hailey beamed like a stupid school girl over her crush.
"Well you're happy," Kevin noted.
"He tested negative again. One more test to go and he's off the Covid floor." Kevin gave her a valiant thumbs up, a total Kevin thing to do. A man of few words, but a powerful presence nonetheless. Hailey couldn't believe how things were finally turning around. In fact, she was so elated that she'd almost forgotten fake Jay's warning of what was to come.
…
Will's patient didn't make it, add another mark in Covid's column. It was happening so often that it was almost expected for the floor to lose at least five patients a day. Will was beginning to believe that feel the grim reaper was taking up permanent residence on this floor. Contrary to the country's belief, the two weeks of being stuck inside was not totally flattening the curve. If anything, there had been nothing but a steady incline of severely sick patients. Med had to expand it's Covid floors, call in more doctors and nurses and take up traveling medical staff from around the country. Covid certainly had a tight grip on Chicago right now. Everyone's attention was on New York City, and rightfully so given they were the epicenter, but Chicago numbers were nothing to be proud of. All day, especially over the last four days, Will had lost count the numbers of times the whiteboard had it's death tally erased and updated; how many sobs and pleads to save loved ones echoed in his ear. Will felt like a total creep for not remembering the families, the family member in the hospital, in a way he'd grown calloused to things. He'd accepted the real fact that this job was hard and he just had to make it through. The only good news in everything was Jay. Still, everyone who had checked in was either still there or had sadly passed. Will was determined, dedicated to changing the number on the upper left side of the whiteboard. That bright, neon blue 1 had been sitting there his entire stint on the Cover floor and it had to change; it must and it will. At this point Will was okay with it being someone other than Jay who changed it. They had see get a good ending, the floor was practically screaming for it.
"How's he doing," Will greeted Jay's doctor with, the two of them sighing while resting their elbows on the counter. The latest loss was a tough one. They all were, but this one hit different. It was a young man in his late thirties, zero pre-existing conditions and a young family who seemed to wait by the phone for the latest update. Whenever they were called, you could hear the little gasp and squeak into their voice. They were so worried, they so missed their person. Even when the reports were getting consistently worse, they remained positive and hopeful: that their person would somehow pull through. That's who was crashing when Will hung up with Hailey, that was the family he'd just hung up with as Jay's doctor approached him. Part of Will was elated he hadn't received this news yet, but another side of him felt like a creep for somehow escaping the wrath and death grip of this Covid floor.
"Still looking good, considering. Temperature is 99.9." Will's eyebrows perked up at that one. At last, good news had arrived in Jay's world.
"That's amazing!"
"Yes, yes it is. I'm going to pull him off the sedatives and see what happens. I think he's ready and strong enough to be awake and on the vent."
"Wow, that's incredible. What about the lungs?"
"They still sound just as bad as the day he came in. He's getting some x-rays in a little bit and I want to move the scope up to later tonight. On the chance his last Covid test comes back negative later I want to get things prepped for the ICU people."
"Can he handle all of that?" The doctor nodded.
"He should be fine. Also, we need to talk about the trach again." Will immediately shook his head, refusing to hear anymore of it.
"Will, if he's going to be awaken and dependent on it for awhile he really should be on the trach. He could at least whisper and have some form of communication."
"No, I'm not putting a hole in his throat. Sorry." The doctor sighed, almost groaning over Will's stubbornness. It baffled him that Will was willing to choose Jay being uncomfortable instead of helping him function while on oxygen support. He understood the invasive nature of the trach and what it did visually to a patient. But there were surgeries to correct the scarring and ways to prevent damage to vocal cords and whatnot. But Will was bent in his ways and as Jay's medical proxy, he had to respect his decision.
"Isn't it quitting time," he asked Will, who glanced down at his phone, startled at how quickly the day had gone by. Will nodded that indeed, it was time to head home. He passed everything off to his nightshift person before removing all the PPE. He slipped on his cloth mask as he made his way to Jay's room, tip toeing to the left side of the bed and assuming his usual squat stance at the bed's edge.
"I'm heading out now. Hailey went back to work today. She said they caught a case and that she misses you. Sorry I didn't say that sooner. Work kind of had me out the door really quick this morning." Will smirked, still adjusting to the whole 'speaking to a comatose person' situation he was in. Jay still didn't move a muscle, not even his face twitched or reacted to any of the devices on him that sent jolts out across the body. He was the definition of motionless, a living and breathing cadaver at this point. Will shook that last thought out of his mind, breathing deeply through his nose and out his mouth before speaking.
"I bet you're ready to get out of here. I know I'm excited that you might be leaving soon. I'm just going to call it, this is your last night on this floor." Will could almost hear the joking gasp from Jay, the shock over Will's boldness.
"I know, you don't want me to jinx things. You still have some ways to go, but you've done so well Jay. I'm really proud of you. Rest easy. And do well with the swab and scope tonight." Will stood up in order to lean over and plant a masked kiss on his brother's forehead. It felt right, given that Jay was finally at the tail end of things; soon to be an antibodied soul.
"Love you. See you in the morning. Rest up." Will looked, waited, but nothing ever came. Before high tailing it out of there Will did a final scan of Jay, the room, soaking everything in. This place, this little world was coming to a close. It hadn't always been kind or fair to his brother, but it was what got him through all of this and to the other side. At this point Will had no idea the true mountains and hurdles Jay was about to come in contact with, so it was almost saddening to see the joy and hope that was practically bubbling out of him. But that would come with time. Will nodded his final farewell, breathed in that sweet, filtered hospital room air before bidding farewell to the place. Things felt so right and calm and on the right path that surely nothing would sway them off of things now.
…
"Hey!"
"Hey," Will shot back, the two of them just about running into each other at the elevator. Hailey was red faced, hair bobbing against her shoulders as she clung to the take out bags in hand. Will heard the jingle of Jay's keys in one of her hands, noting her tight hold on them as she boarded the elevator.
"Well isn't this for perfect timing," she remarked as the car rose to her floor. Will nodded, sighed as he rubbed under his eyes.
"Yeah, it definitely is. How was work?"
"Oh man, it felt so good to get back out there. A little sad because of you-know-who not being there, but it was nice to see everyone. Oh, they all say hi and that they're pulling for Jay."
"That's very nice of them," Will trailed off, taking great interest and amazement in the elevator doors directly in front of him. Hailey's happiness fell off a little the longer she glanced at Will. He was either tired, sad, or something had gone wrong with Jay. Out of nowhere she couldn't help but see anything but the third option. The two of them were silent till the elevator allowed them to exit onto the third floor. Will jumping out first with Hailey right on his heels.
"Everything okay," she asked while fumbling with the lock? Will snapped out of his trance, nodded and did his best attempt at a laugh as he stepped into the apartment.
"Yeah! Yeah, just.."
"-Tough day," Hailey cut in? Will nodded.
"Yeah, lost a couple patients. One of them reminded me of Jay a little. He was young, just a couple years older than Jay, but he too was having trouble breathing. It's so crazy how quickly this virus just takes people. Literally it feels like the snap of a finger and then they're gone." The two of them were in the kitchen now, Hailey putting the bags on the counter as Will grabbed the fridge handle and pulled open in search of alcohol.
"How about something a little stronger," Hailey spoke, reaching into the corner cabinet and pulling out a large glass bottle of whiskey.
"Well someone's been hiding the good stuff." Hailey laughed, pulling out two small glasses and pouring a serving for both her and Will.
"It's not mine. Jay put it in here not too long after we started staying over at each other's places…like a lot. He said he couldn't believe I lived off of just wine. I told him it works for me. So, like, two days later I came home and this was sitting on the counter with a note that said 'time to be properly educated.'
"Yup, that sounds like him."
"So really he's the only one that drinks the stuff. It may be in my house but I refuse to let him dictate what I drink." Will smirked, raising his small glass of whiskey before he spoke.
"To Jay's taste in adult beverages." Hailey smiled, mimicking Will's toast.
"To getting him off that damn Covid floor."
"Here here," Will spoke into his glass. In unison the two of them sipped, grimaced, and rolled their eyes at the strength of Jay's choice.
"What is this, rubbing alcohol," Will joked? Hailey nearly spit her liquid out, catching her mouth before putting the glass in the sink.
"Well, now that we're totally inebriated, let's eat!" Will now reached for the red wine, two glasses, and met Hailey in the living room. She dolled out the food while he poured the wine, the two of them sipping and eating and just going over ever little detail of the day. There was so much laughter, great amounts of in-depth talking, and quality time that both realized they very much needed. It was in a lull that Hailey concluded to herself that she could get used to this. That if the unthinkable happened and Jay could never be with them, she took comfort in knowing that they'd survive it all. She could see her and Will doing this once a week, or whenever their schedule allowed. Of course, they'd always be friends, never ever try and make it more than that. They just weren't that kind of compatible. But certainly they'd become good friends. Friends who would weather the storm that was Covid-19 and 2020.
…
"Will, Will! You're phone's ringing." Hailey was shaking him awake, her motions rather hurried and nervous. Will popped one eye open, now feeling the strained muscles and back stiffness that came with falling asleep on the couch. He wasn't even aware he'd drifted off, wondering how long he'd been that way. Will vowed to himself to never drink Jay's special drink ever again.
"How long was I out? What time is it?"
"It's midnight," Hailey hurriedly spoke. Will detected the nerves in her voice, her whole body saying she was quite nervous. Her legs were tucked under her, the sleeves of her bulky sweater balled into her hands and rubbing back and forth gently along her lips. Her eyes were wide, whole body about to leap over and answer Will's phone if he didn't. Will turned his attention to the noise that caused all of this, taking pause at the caller ID as he hit the green button.
"Sharon?"
"Will, I'm sorry to call you so late but I was wondering if you could come down here?" Now Will was awake, completely sitting up, looking back at Hailey with matching wide eyes. The two of them holding their breath simultaneously.
"Is this about Jay?"
"Yes," Sharon worriedly, yet quickly and confidently responded. Hailey's jaw dropped, hearing Sharon's response. Will could only nod, patting Hailey's leg before he stood up.
"What's going on. Did something happen?" Will was working his way to the front door, fiddling around for his shoes.
"No, nothing happened. I just need you to get down here. It's important." Hailey had followed Will to the front door, her hand on the handle as a way of blocking him from walking out the door. No way was she going to let him slip out without telling her what was going on.
"Okay. I'll be there in…twenty minutes," Will replied whilst checking his watch. The two of them hung up, Will grunting and sighing as he pulled his coat on. Curses to him for drinking such strong stuff. Jay didn't need him incapacitated right now.
"What happened?"
"Nothing happened."
"Bull." Will looked up at Hailey, noting the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. He got it, was right there with her. Late night coded calls like this were never to deliver good news. If he could he'd be in two places right now he would. As much as he wanted to be by Jay's side, he also hated leaving Hailey to sit in her thoughts all alone in this apartment.
"I've got to go," Will quietly spoke, motioning for her to open the door so he could escape. Reluctantly, Hailey allowed him to leave. She flung the door open, motioning with her arm for him to hurry up and get out of there.
"Will, please keep me updated."
"I will." There was a quick hug between the two of them, both trying to not cry on the other. Hailey was the first to let go, reminding him that he needed to hurry to make the promised time. Will chose to jog down the stars this time, thinking that would shake the hungover feeling out of him. Will chose to ride the L this time instead of the car. Again, he was too out of it to even thinking about getting behind the wheel of a two ton hunk of metal.
The ride over to Med was quiet, which was the very last thing Will needed. At this time of night all the usual L riders were tucked away in their warm beds. All the business people and parents with loud, joyful kids were safe and sound, leaving their cars to the random night clubbers and party people or the occasional homeless person passed out on a bench, snoring loud enough to rattle the windows. Will claimed a single seat in the way back corner of a car, staring out the window at the silent, dark world around him. It was a bit of internal meeting external moment. Just as it was dark and quiet outside, Will's entire being was feeling the very same way. He was so mute, dulled, numb in every way possible. He could only hear the fatal, single whine of the heart monitor ringing in his ears. Even shaking his head and looking at anything didn't change the noise. After that it was all flashbacks, various points along the journey of their lives together. Everything from being introduced to Jay as a newborn to one of their final vacations together, Will's mind was beginning to write the obituary for Jay's life. He was so happy, so full of life and promise, this was not how it all was supposed to end. Jay was supposed to pass from old age, some thousand year old guy surrounded by family, friends, perhaps even grandkids and great grandkids. But no, this stupid virus was robbing him of all that. Will checked his phone to see if April had arrived yet, that stupid fucking day where everything was a joke, because that was the only way any of this could make sense. Alas, his phone said it was March 28th, proving that all that was happening was very real and very much true whether he wanted to believe it or not.
The car lurched to a stop at the closest location to Med. Will was up and out and on the platform in five steps. With Med in his sights he full on sprinted to the door, ignoring the thoughts of being watched or drawing attention of cops or whoever else might be on the street. His run was that was Olympic speed and his time from L to front door was a very cool seven minutes. He was on the verge of passing out as he boarded yet another elevator, sighing relief and dread as things opened up to the Covid ICU floor.
"Will, Will!" Sharon waved him down just as he had his hand on the room's sliding handle. He couldn't make out Jay, noting the three doctors around the bed, two of them Will had never seen before.
"What's going on," he gasped, not losing sight of whatever was happening on the other side of the glass. People weren't frantic and looking at the monitors over the bed, Jay was doing fine. So now came the twinge of anger, wondering why Sharon had him race down here with thoughts of the worst when it appeared things were fine, able to wait till the morning.
"They wanted to talk to you right away."
"Who are they?" The people in the room seemed to have heard Will's comment because right then they all turned and faced the door, beginning the process of working their way through the tight squeezes of the room and out to meet the person they all were waiting for. It was probably Will's mild slam into the glass door that got them moving things into the hallway.
"Will, this is Dr. Peters. He's the head of the ICU upstairs and he's taking over Jay's care tomorrow morning." Will was elated, visibly, extending an elbow for the new doctor to bump with.
"So he's gotten the third negative test result?" Jay's current doctor nodded.
"Yup," his tone remained very neutral, almost serious and stern. Any form of excitement over Jay getting moved evaporated when Will picked up on things. Then it turned to the third guy that was in the room.
"Will, this is Dr. Marsh, he's the head of our transplant committee and is our head transplant surgeon." Commencing the floor being dropped out from under Will's feet.
"What?!" Literally, Will could feel his feet buckling out from under him, seriously he thought he might pass out right there in the middle of the hallway. Sharon picked up on this, extending a hand on Will's arm as she watched the color drain out of his face.
"Let's move this to the nurse's station," she instructed everyone, taking Will's arm and tucking it in hers. Will was too dumbstruck and shocked to do anything but follow her. In that moment he couldn't look back in Jay's direction, was truly telling himself to walk a step at a time. How on earth he found himself in this moment was far beyond him.
"Take a seat," she encouraged, looking on with heartfelt sadness as Will plunked down, cradling his head in his hands as the remaining people took a seat. They all waited till Will returned to them, which took him a handful of minutes.
"We have a window, but it's closing fast," Dr. Peters began.
"In reviewing your brother's x-rays and his latest scope, he has severe fibrosis. I've never seen anything like this outside of those with bad cases of cystic fibrosis. Given the fact that he has no pre-existing conditions, this might be chalked up as one of the worst cases of Covid pneumonia that has managed to still survive." Again, words were not forming in Will's mind, everything stuck on the truth that a transplant surgeon was sitting in his midst. Transplant. Surgeon. These are things none of them ever dreamed of two weeks ago; probably would've laughed if you told them what was coming their way. From there his mind went to the fact that Jay was still very unconscious and very unaware or unable to decide if his lungs should be removed from his body and exchanged for some other person's vital organs. Hopefully you see why Will was staring into absolutely nothing.
"Despite his bad condition, he's actually a good candidate for a transplant. I can get things rolling for an emergency approval." Will was still lost, not moving a muscle as the two doctors spoke. They both looked Sharon's way, her nodding as she reach out to brush Will's back.
"Will? Are you okay." He blinked, rested his forehead on the palm of his hand before nodding that he could at least hear.
"What…what happened to trying to treat the damage so it could heal?" Dr. Peters was the first to shake his head, clasping his hands in his lap before speaking.
"The damage is too severe and irreversible. We could to try some things but by then he'd be past the point of getting qualified for a transplant."
"Why's that?"
"Because he's dying, Will. Without a transplant he has a month, maybe two left. His lungs are really, really bad. There's very little movement or viable tissue left. The only reason he's doing as well as he is is because the infection is finally gone and he's fully supported on the ventilator." Will could only nod. Oh the desire to kick something and scream was right on the very edge of slipping out, but he knew that this wasn't the place and Jay didn't need that. Jay trusted him enough to allow him to make medical decisions on his behalf, he didn't need a tyrant in his corner.
"Has anyone ever approved a Covid patient for transplant? Has this ever even been attempted?" Dr. Marsh shook his head.
"He would be the first." Will sat back in his chair, squishing hands into his eyes because the tears were really, truly trying to come out now. In his best attempts to avoid them, his mind drew him back to that cold, wet, miserable day when they were kids. Will was ten and Jay was eight, Jay having dragged Will out to the backyard to help him work on some soccer skills that his coach said needed to be tweaked. At age eight Jay was convinced he was the next big thing in soccer, that one day he'd grow up and play on the Olympic men's soccer team. It was his whole life, all that he dream of and played in his free time. But Will vividly recalls the pouring rain beading off his forehead as he bent over at the goal, blocking shot after shot and laughing as Jay grew more frustrated.
"You stupid idiot! The point is letting me score. You're on my side."
"No, the point is to try and figure out how to score around me. I'm the easiest goalie you'll ever meet, Jay. And if you can't score on me…" Jay just about bit his lower lip off as he lined the soccer ball up and backed away for another attempt.
"UUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH," he full on grunted as he launched the dang ball. Will could hear the wind, rain, grass particles whizzing in his direction. Fear kicked in, telling him to just hit the dirt in order to avoid getting teeth knocked out.
"YES! YES YES HA," little, chaotic energy Jay Halstead cheered as he ran a lap around the yard. He'd finally broken Will's goalie fortress."
"What are you two doing," their mother called from the back porch? The two of them stopped what they were doing, spinning on their heels at her extra loud cry towards them. Trouble was coming for them.
"You're going to get horribly sick in this weather," she called.
"Race you," Jay yelled as he took off towards the house. His fast start and steps ahead helping him beat Will to the house. By the time Will got there Jay was flat on his back, panting and wheezing as he beamed over his great few moments in the yard.
"I think my lungs are going to explode," Jay joked as he stood up and headed towards the house."
The little lungs that had formed in their mother's womb at just a few weeks old, the same ones that got him through every waking and sleeping moment for the last thirty something years, were in the process of exploding. Or, perhaps they already had. The other shoe had dropped.