Chapter 7- Recipient

Pre-Op

As fate would have it, or Will's keen sense of things, for the last couple of days it was hard to leave Jay's side. It wasn't that Jay had slipped into a rough patch or anything, but something told Will that something, some big thing was going to happen. Whether it was surgery or Jay taking that hard, sharp turn for the worst, Will just had that gut feeling, medical intuition to remain close. He was so close to asking if he could've slept over last night, the feeling of leaving being a horrible decision was right there, but Will kept going back to the fact that even being able to be with his brother was a privilege and he shouldn't push any of it at all. So last night, as he trudged out just as the clock was striking 8pm, Will got very close and told his brother to rest up; that something was coming in the morning. To this day, Will has no clue why he said that or what prompted it. Up until the call arrived, there was zero inkling or even a general sense of lungs becoming available. All that night at home, Will kept going on and on about feeling like things were about to be over. Hailey was both startled and excited over Will's proclamation of the future. Part of her was worried that Will was talking about something awful, but another part of her was beginning to pick up that same sense. Things had gone on longer enough, the bad spell had to have an end date. Sleep didn't really come to them that night, both very light sleepers. Any sound had them up, listening…waiting…thinking the phone was ringing. Alas, it never did.

"Good grief, it's absolutely pouring out there," Will greeted Jay with.

"This is the perfect day to just kick back, maybe read a book, and definitely take a nap." Jay hadn't changed all that much. The ECMO machine was doing it's thing, slowly yanking blood out of Jay's body before churning the fresh, oxygenated blood back in. Ever since the great spike in his blood oxygen the day things were set up, Jay's number were cemented in the mid 80s. It wasn't perfect or ideal, but it was definitely keeping him stable enough for surgery. So there was that. None of the IVs had been removed, the breathing tube was still in the same plastic holder with the velcro strap going around the back of his head. Will was now quite used to the way Jay looked, in the process of trying to remember what his brother looked like without all the medical stuff. It took going through his phone, pulling out pictures or videos of the two of them for things to start trickling in. It was scary, and disheartening how quickly it took for the brain to adjust and forget, but then again Will took that as a blessing. One could only remain in shock and fear for so long, at some point you have to adjust and move forward. It was the only way to get through things and get out the other end in one piece.

"It's April 10th, now. Looks like the snow is finally moving away. It's your ideal kind of day out, just a total drench of a day and super windy. It's a warm front coming in, finally." Will smirked at his brother, taking his usual spot right up against the bed. There was nothing in this life that he wanted more than to make eye contact with his brother. He was so sick of seeing those darkened, motionless eyelids. He needed Jay to breakthrough, soon.

"I can't believe it's almost been a month, man," Will softly spoke as he reached for Jay's hand. A surprise addition to Jay's condition was the fact that hand and foot twitches had returned. It was the very, very early stages of Jay breaking through the prolonged unconsciousness but Will and Hailey took it all as a massive step. If you held his hand long enough or stared at his feet for a long period of time, you could feel the very faint jolt in his hand or notice a single toe flex just a hair. Will imagined that was Jay trying to kick his way through a brick wall, that the most valiant, super hard shoves into the wall were those movements. He was trying, doing his best to both hang on and come back to his world but his body wasn't quite ready for that. It needed oxygen, strength, all of this promised to return once the transplant was complete.

"Love you, bud. I really miss you. And Hail.." The phone rang. Will froze mid thought, realizing that it wasn't just another phone call, but the one that was an answer to prayers, the biggest relief wave he'd ever ride in his life. His phone was honking an old car horn at him, literally. It was the only ring tone he could come up with on his phone that was both very unusual and loud enough to wake even the deepest of sleepers. Will was quick to remove his hand from Jay's, swinging around to the little table he put everything on and grabbing his phone. His hand was shaking so bad he almost hung up, cursing under his breath as his put the phone to his ear.

"This is Will," he managed to pull together. Will looked on at Jay as the head of the transplant committee began.

"Will, where are you?"

"I, um…here. At the hospital. Just got in a couple minutes ago. Why? Is this the call?"

"So far, yes." With his free hand Will waved in a frantic way. The nerves, the excitement, the relief, the now stress over Jay being moments, hours away from very major surgery; he couldn't contain himself.

"Okay…okay…wow." Dr. Marsh chuckled into the phone, allowing Will his full wave of things before going on.

"This….oh man, is amazing. When does he go up?"

"The travel team is already there and they're in the process of inspecting the lungs to see if they're viable for the trip. Once we get that approval we'll take him up to pre-op."

"Alright. How long till we know."

"Give me fifteen minutes." And then the phone went silent. Will rolled his eyes, so very surgeon of the guy. There wasn't a moment of reassurance or promise to return the call, just providing the info and hanging up. But then again, a lot of moving parts were just getting underway. The idea of any kind of organ transplant is easy to grasp, but once you get down into the nitty gritty of things, it's an organizational nightmare. You have to coordinate everything around the recipient's health and keeping the organs outside of a body for a little as possible. So everything from getting organs out, in the air, and arriving at the next hospital had to be timed down to the minute. The old organs had to be removed at the perfect time and the new ones going in before a certain deadline. The biggest obstacle in Jay's case was not knowing how hard it would be to remove the old lungs. No one had ever operated on or removed Covid riddle lungs, they had no clue how fused the muscle was to things or how in tact everything was. They were walking into a whole slew of uncertainties, just upping the stakes and timing of everything that much more. Will kept the phone in his right hand, looking back at his brother and collapsing into a human of tears. It dawned on him that this was it, the final time Jay was going to be both this sick and this covered up in things. Help had finally arrived. All the waiting, patience, freaking out and trials were about to pay off. Jay was getting saved. Will made it to the chair before sobbing into the sleeve of his shirt, saying to himself how excited and amazing this all was. Certainly the fear and worry were there too, but the thing that overrode it all was that by the end of the day, Jay was going to be better, recovering. That was such a big thing. All this time he was fighting. Fighting a virus. Fighting an infection that soon had him fighting to be able to breathe at all. Then came the fighting of time, trying to outpace the race to death. Never once had he'd been called a winner, a person in recovery. Recovery meant crossing a finish line, passing from bad and struggling to enjoying the fruits of ones labors. For a month now, that was all Jay, Will, everyone was doing: fighting and willing Jay to keep going. And now, in the blink of an eye, Jay was coming home victorious.

"Thank you, Jay," Will sobbed.

"Thank you so much for staying with us." Will clung to that hand now, squeezing the life out of it as he just felt his feelings then. If there was ever a moment for Jay to open his eyes and come back to earth, this would be it. But he decided otherwise.

"Hey, what's the verdict," Will answered with. The phone rang once before it was on and at his ear.

"We're a go."

"Awesome. How soon till he goes up."

"I'm sending the team down now. We're in the process of getting the OR booked and set up so…an hour maybe?" Will swallowed the lodged vomit, clearing his throat before he spoke.

"Okay. See you in a bit." Again, the call ended fairly abruptly, leaving Will alone with his thoughts and enough time to freak out.

"Dude, I can't believe this is happening today. I'm still waiting for this all to be some delayed joke." Jay still didn't react to anything, leaving Will to have a very one sided conversation. It dawned on him just then that he never really told Jay what was going on. He got that Jay was unconscious and probably not able to hear anything, but still the fact was was that he never told him, awake or not, of all that was about to be done to him.

"Hey…so…I don't know if you've figured it out yet or not, but your lungs are in really bad shape. Thus the reason for all the machines and breathing tube and the thing that's pushing air into your lungs." Will paused, waiting for the hand jolt that never came. Jay picked a swell time to check out of things.

"So in an effort to save your life and get you back to us, you're getting ready to go up to surgery for a transplant. I know, I should've said something sooner, but I need you to hang in there just a little bit longer. I know this is a lot to process but it's happening like right now." Again, no hand jolt, no foot twitch. Staying true to himself, Jay was sleeping the morning away, completely out as the biggest thing of his life was just about to get underway.

"Love you, Jay." It was here that things began the first uptick of the day. Will was just about to lean over, kiss his brother's forehead, when the transplant team arrived. Will waved them in, watching as things were unplugged or set up for mobile mode. Even being in the medical field and realizing how much was going on with Jay, it still took him by surprise at how much stuff Jay was living on. It's one thing to just see everything and accept it, but it's a whole other thing to watch a team of people work hastily and together and it still taking five, seven minutes to get Jay to a point of being transferred to a gurney and ready for transport. The final piece was the ventilator, as usual, Jay soon breathing by breaths from a handbag as he was removed from his bed. Here was the first excited point of the day: the next time Jay was in a real hospital bed all of this would be behind him.

"Ready to go," they asked Will. You didn't have to ask him that. Jay and the transplant team were out of the room first, Will being quick to grab his things before jogging to meet up with them. They were moving fast, once again reminding Will at how quickly this was all going to go. In the waiting period it would be excruciatingly slow, but these moments before it all kicked off were going to fly. It dawned on Will, while they were in the elevator, that he was the most unprepared person ever. He only had his phone and wallet on him. No charger, change of clothes, food, nothing that one should have ready for a big event like a double lung transplant. Will told himself it would all get figured out. Get Jay into surgery, the rest could be dealt with after.

Pre-Op wasn't quite as massive as it usually is. Since Jay was already intubated and had all the necessary IVs, catheters, the works, the biggest thing was filling out all the paperwork, getting Jay the proper wristbands and then waiting till the OR was ready for the star of the day. Will began the process of signing, initialing, and skim reading as the gown was pulled down to Jay's waist. Will had somehow forgotten about this part, watching with heavy, worried eyes as the Sharpie line was drawn left to right, a single, long line across the middle of Jay's chest just under the breast region. He was fully aware that a double lung transplant came with a huge scar, there was no other way around it. But his medical brain started kicking in, going through the layers of skin, muscles, bones, veins and arteries that were about to be cut open before being put all back in place, with the exception of the lungs. Instead of puking and freaking out over all that, Will smacked himself internally for not calling the other big person involved in all of this. He didn't take his eyes off of Jay and all the marker lines that were being dotted on his chest, scrolling to find Hailey's contact and dialing.

"Hey!" She was in the car, that much was obvious, the sound of road noise and a slight muffle of a car speaker making that apparent.

"You're driving?"

"Yeah, we're on our way to do a search warrant. Why? What's up."

"Can you pull over for a second?" Hailey gasped a little, silence echoing for exactly three seconds before she spoke.

"Will, if this is a bad call I'm going to need you to hang up."

"It's not." Cue the instant, huge gasp and sudden choking on words.

"Oh my God, Will." She could only get that far. Will heard the car come to a stop, smiled as the noises of crying and excited exhaling filled the phone. Now he knew how the surgeon felt when he called, overly excited he got to be on the giving end of one of these calls.

"If this is some horrid joke you're playing on me I will kill you. I know where you sleep."

"It's not a joke, we're up in pre-op now waiting for him to go back. How soon can you get here."

"Can I see him before he goes in?" Will pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Hey, do we know how long before things are ready?"

"Shouldn't be much longer."

"Is there any chance of someone coming up here and seeing him before he goes back?" The pre-op nurse shook her head.

"Covid policy. It's only one person right now. Plus when it's time, it's time. We can't delay it unfortunately."

"I heard," Hailey said through the phone. She wasn't thrilled that she'd have to wait till after surgery to see Jay again, but there was literally nothing for her to do. But on the plus side, seeing him again meant he was in recovery and through everything. That was something to look forward to.

"So how soon can you get here?"

"Um, I don't know. I'm at least half an hour away and we're almost there. I want to turn around but they also need me to help with this." Will could hear the dilemma floating in her mind, she truly was torn over it all: go to the person who truly needed her right now or do what Jay would like, which is her helping the team.

"Go do your thing. I've got Jay," Will decided for her.

"Will, I feel like a total creep."

"No, no no. He would want you to do your search warrant thing first. This is going to be a long day. You have plenty of time to get here." Eventually Hailey caved, agreeing that this is what Jay would want. Hailey put the truck back in drive, pulled out into the street and sped in the direction of everyone else.

"Can you put the phone to his ear?" Will did as was asked, putting the call on speaker as he held the phone to Jay's left ear.

"Jay, if you can hear me I need you to know that I love you. I know you're tired and are just wanting to be left alone to sleep, but you need to let this surgery work. I'll see you when you wake up." Dr. Marsh and the anesthesiologist entered the room now, waving to Will as they scanned Jay's chart a final time.

"I've got to go. They're getting ready to take him back."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Sounds good. See you. Bye!" The two of them hung up at the same time, Hailey a ball of emotions as they pulled up to the house. She missed Jay, she wanted to be there right next to him, but she also knew he was with her in getting this search warrant done. She took a moment to let things out, waiting till the others got out of their cars before she picked herself up, wiped her eyes, and put the game face on. For Jay, every step of this thing was for Jay.

Meanwhile, the final rundown of everything was getting underway. Jay's allergies were checked and confirmed, things approved and signed off on, and the results from Jay's bloodwork came back solid. He was ready to roll.

"Behave," Will told his very passed out brother as he finally got his chance to kiss his brother's forehead. Will pulled the mask down to plant the peck, getting the final hand squeeze in before releasing him to the group of people who would be the saviors of the day.

"How long," Will asked as Jay was rolled out into the hallway.

"Eight, ten hours maybe. We won't know until we get in there." Will nodded, stood in the middle of the hallway with clasped hands held close to his mouth as the large, swinging, grey doors into the OR suite section of the floor swallowed his brother and everyone with him. It took everything in Will to not run after them, call out to Jay one final time that he loved him. Will looked down at his phone, checking the time to see it was 9:38am. He'd only been at the hospital an hour and thirty-eight minutes, but it already felt like it had been a day. Calculating how long the surgeon told him things could take, Will was looking at 7:30pm before any kind of relief and rest arrived. He'd already had a day and there was still a whole day yet to go. The weight of everything truly, deeply, finally started resting on his shoulders. Ten hours to recovery, seeing his brother again. Man, was going to be one for the Halstead history books.

First Hour

It took very little time for word to get out about Jay. As Will stood in the hallway, contemplating where to go and what to do for the rest of the day, his phone was lighting up and singing loud. People from the hospital, the 21st, everywhere it felt like, were texting him; wishing Jay well and congratulating him on this incredible day. For the first time since Jay entered the hospital Will had no clue where he should go. He wasn't on the clock, he wasn't on call, and Jay was in a place where family members were most certainly not allowed. He couldn't go back to the ICU since the room was no longer Jay's and he couldn't fathom sitting in a waiting room for the entire day. Then there came the issue of not being able to leave. As long as someone was in an operating room, with the except it was a genuine emergency, at least one family member had to remain in the hospital. It was part of the paperwork Will signed while in pre-op, swearing that he would remain there in case they needed to contact him. So there was Will without a home, without a final destination, just a man in limbo for the day. It was in his busying of responding to everyone that a call came through everything else. Will smirked, forever grateful for this woman once again, and accepted her call.

"Hey Sharon."

"Will, I'd like for you and Hailey to come and hang out in my office for the day. I'd hate to make you sit in that awful, uncomfortable waiting room the entire time. Plus, I figured you'd like to be kept updated on everything and given the historic nature of things, I requested to be in the know on everything." Will could've cried, he was both so excited and thankful. He was totally anticipating having to go this alone, be the guy sitting in the middle of the action updating everyone. But instead, he got to relax, bring Hailey along for this wild ride. He was so relieved he didn't know what to say other then…

"That would be awesome. Thank you, Sharon."

"Of course, Will. We're all pulling for your brother."

"You're sure Hailey can come in the hospital?"

"Well, the policy of no visitors is still in place. But given all that has happened is on going I can overlook some things. You two need to be tested, of course. And masks need to be on at all times, but I'm sure your brother would like to see both of you when he wakes up." Again, Will was speechless. He couldn't move, was still in the hallway as some of Jay's pre-op team came back through the doors, looking at him oddly still being there. At this point family was long gone, out of sight till things were over.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Oh, everything is fine," one of the nurses spoke.

"They're just about to get going." Will nodded, finding the strength to turn on his heels and head in the direction of the elevator.

"Will? Are you still there?"

"Yes, sorry." Will made it to the elevator, hitting the up button and waiting for the soft chime that was the arrival of the car.

"Can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

"Oh, I'm fine. I don't need anything."

"Will, you need to take care of yourself. Jay doesn't need you running on empty." She had a point, one Will would make to any of his patient's family. He had to practice what he preached.

"Some coffee would be nice. Maybe a bagel too."

"Alright, I'm sending my assistant to get those now. What about Hailey?"

"She's been informed but she has a work thing first. She'll be on her way as soon as she can."

"Okay. Next time you two speak tell her to come up to my office."

"Will do. And Sharon? Thank you for everything." The woman mumbled a quick 'you're welcome' before hanging up. The elevator finally arrived, Will hopping right on and selecting the top floor. He looked straight out at the OR floor till the doors closed, suddenly feeling awful for leaving Jay on his own. In a way, he felt to be abandoning his brother in his biggest hours of need. His brother needed a cheerleader, someone just around the corner willing him to keep pressing on. Will worried things would go south the moment he wasn't there, but then his brain kicked back in. Jay was undoubtedly under general anesthesia right now, floating way, way far away in some other realm now. There was no way for him to know Will's whereabouts and plus, Jay was in great hands who knew what to do should an issue arise. It was then that Will realized he had to learn to let go, give up control and hand it over to the next set of people. This wasn't a one man show, it was series of teams that were going to get Jay to the other side. All had a role, right now he was patiently waiting brother.

The elevator opened to the executive floor, pulling back the curtain on the brain power behind the whole place. Unlike all the other floors, this one was extra quiet. Here there weren't any speakers playing the loud calls for codes or missing patients or any other medical calls that the rest of the floors had to overhear. Up at this height everything was strictly business. White coats were swapped out for business suits. Doctors, nurses, medical staff was traded for executives and their assistants. Will walked the hallway to Sharon's office with his head down, doing his best both not be seen and also to not get in the way of things. It was a typical workday, people in board meetings and at their desks taking phone calls, answering emails, doing all those mundane things Will thought were absolutely awful. Will was quick to apologize for getting in someone's way, very shrunk and awkward as he wove and darted his way to Sharon's office.

She was at the very far end of the floor, the most pristine corner office with floor to ceiling windows. Given she was the head of the hospital, it was only fitting she had the biggest, brightest, most incredible office with the most stellar of views. Will nervously knocked on her door, hearing the mumble of someone talking on the other side of the door. The noise was soon interrupted by Sharon telling whoever it was to come in. Will held his breath for some reason, resting his hand on the handle before turning it and pushing the door forward.

"Will," she immediately rose with as his face entered the office. She met him halfway, embracing him in a hug that felt so right and necessary right then. She was a motherly figure, a friend and true ally. Certainly, they had their tense moments in the past. But at the end of the day they were family, and her family member was witness to their family member going through something life changing. She held him till he patted her back, telling her that he was alright and ready to sit down.

"Please, sit wherever you'd like," she spoke while waving her hands to different places at once. Things were far more put together and tidy than the last time Will was here. The boxes, paperwork, total dishevelment to things was all wrapped up and put back where it belonged. The couch was neat and comfy looking, the pillows extra plush and blanket draped over the back inviting enough to tempt Will to pass out there till Jay was done. Across from the couch was a series of two chairs, also holding great looking pillows and looking to be the perfect thing to ease all worries away. The coffee table was stacked with books, magazines, even a TV remote that connected to a rather large seventy inch screen hanging on the wall above the sitting area. Again, Will was tempted to truly veg and just kick back and forget everything, but he had to keep reminding himself that this wasn't home and he had to behave. So instead, he just opted for the couch, sitting his ass just on the edge with his back straight and head looking directly at the world outside her wall of windows.

"Will, please relax. I don't care if you fall asleep for awhile. This is your time to gear up for later on tonight."

"Oh, I'm fine."

"Will, I swear if you say that one more time I'll order a dose of Haldol so I know you're truly relaxed." Will snorted, taking up his boss' offer to relax. His idea of relaxing on his boss' couch was laying against the back of it with his leg crossed over the other. Twiddling his thumbs, looking straight out, it wasn't the most relaxed thing ever, but it was a start.

"Have the text messages started," she called from her desk?

"Oh yeah." Will was entranced by the rain running down the glass. It was so calming, so relaxing and tranquil. The rainy day brought with it fog. The once panoramic of downtown's skyline was nearly enveloped in fog today, only the blinking lights on top of the skyscrapers allowing one to recognize that very big structures were behind all those clouds.

"This won't hold anything up, right," Will asked? Sharon looked up and away from her laptop trying to figure out what Will was referring to. It took him pointing at the world behind her that it clicked.

"Oh, no not at all. We can still fly in high value organs in this. We've done it in the middle of a blizzard, a little rain is a piece of cake." Will smirked, nodding as he kept looking out. It was surreal, to think that despite all the chaos and hectic nature of this day, somewhere out there things were still, poised, just as steady as ever. Will needed that on this day, more than any other. Whatever was going on, life and all it had was still going steady.

"Where are they coming from?"

"They didn't tell you?" Will shook his head.

"Things got a little crazy. I totally forgot to ask."

"Iowa."

"Oh, that's not too far. I guess that's why things got going so fast."

"Yup, and just before you arrived I got the alert that the tracker is on the transport cooler." That made Will tense a little. The lungs were in limbo, frozen in an igloo heading in the direction of an airport to arrive here. This was all really happening.

"Oh, and right on time. First cut was just made."

"Wow, you really are getting all the details." Sharon smiled as she nodded.

"It pays to be in charge."

"And know the boss," Will added.

"So, start the clock. First cut was at 10:23." Will made the mental note, tracking the eight to ten hour window with Jay hopefully being done around 8:30pm at the latest.

"How are you doing so far," Sharon asked, catching Will before he free fell into another mind spelling fear fest.

"Honestly, I have no idea. This just happened so fast. I'm waiting to wake up from a dream or get told something happened and all of this is off."

"Yup, I understand that. This has been a very trying month for you two, it's hard to accept good news and the knowledge that things are finally going your way. But it is true, Jay is getting new lungs today." Will nodded, glancing down at his phone as the messages continued to pour in.

"Don't answer those. You'll induce a panic attack."

"But, it's rude to not say anything."

"No, Will. I'm very serious. The more you write things out and try to keep up with it all, it's too much to handle. Trust me, I know from experience." Will didn't need anymore convincing, slowly putting his phone on the coffee table. Just then a knock rattled against Sharon's door. Just as she did with Will, she calmly answered for whoever it was to come in. Her assistant walked through the door, coffee carrier in hand with the signature brown Starbucks bag with the green label.

"I'm sorry it took so long. The line was eternal."

"That's alright," Sharon reassured. Her coffee was given to her first because, after all, she was the boss. Will's hand was filled with a warm, steaming venti cup of black coffee, the bag handed to him as the assistant apologized for things not being exactly what he'd expect.

"I'm so sorry. They wouldn't toast it and they didn't apply cream cheese. I put everything in there for you to do and I hope you like cinnamon raisin." Will smiled and nodded as he took the bag out of her nervous hands.

"It all sounds amazing. Thank you so much." The young girl nodded, turning away and heading right out the door and back to her desk. Will rolled his eyes and chuckled as he pulled things out of the bag and began to assemble his breakfast.

"And I thought I was the nervous one."

"Oh, you are. She's very sweet but terrified of letting people down." Will took pity on the girl, silently nodding as he sat back and bit into his bagel.

Third Hour

She was out of that house like a bat out of hell. Hailey had the truck started and in the street before she could put her seatbelt on. Despite the hard rain her speed did little to slow down. Part of the ride to the apartment she had the lights and sirens going. It all honesty it was a true emergency and she had to get to Med ASAP.

"Hey Will, I'm on my way. I'm a total mess so I'm running by the apartment and changing before I come in."

"No, that's fine! I was actually hoping you were going back there. I'm the least prepared for this. I don't even have my phone charger with me."

"Will, you knew you'd be there all day. How can you forget a charger?"

"Because when I'm here I'm barely on my phone. Look, can you just bring it with you? And maybe a change of clothes, my bathroom bag?"

"Wait, are you staying there after surgery?"

"I think they're going to let me. I'm pretty sure this falls under the special circumstances where they allow one person to be the caretaker."

"Lucky," Hailey shot back.

"Sorry, I wish you could stay too. I'm sure he'd like that." Hailey was too busy swerving around slow cars to reply, focusing on the road and getting to her next spot. The apartment and Med, those were the only two things that mattered right now.

"Have you heard any updates yet?"

"The new lungs are almost here. They are working on the left lung first and said there's a ton of damage. It's taking them a little longer then they expected to get everything ready for the new lung."

"But they can get it done in time?"

"Yeah, they know what they're doing." It wasn't the update she was anticipating, but it was better then the alternative. Once again, Hailey flew through the streets, practically taking turns on two wheels. Thank God she was in the truck that had all the traction control and special features that kept everything on the ground. In any other car she'd be up a light pole by now.

"Oh, when you get here come up to Sharon's office."

"Wait, what?" Hailey almost cursed when the light turned red. She knew she had to stop and it nearly killed her.

"Yeah, you're allowed to enter the hospital. But we both have to get Covid tests before we go see him and we both have to wear masks." Hailey didn't care if she had to walk around the hospital naked, for the first time in almost a month she was going to be in the same place as Jay, at some point see him face to face. That was enough to make her giddy and forget all the heaviness that was coming with this day.

"Are you serious," Hailey asked, doing her best to not cry.

"Very serious. Let me know when you're here and I'll bring you up." Hailey could only nod, letting the tears drip down her face as she drove on.

"Will, you don't know how much this means to me."

"I think I have a good idea." Hailey laughed through the tears, wiping her face as the building came into view.

"Okay, I just pulled up. I'll be in and out in a couple minutes. I'll let you know when I'm pulling in."

"Sounds good. See ya." Hailey pulled into a makeshift parking space, straddling two spots and kind of sticking out in the street. Luckily the world was still shut down so she didn't see the need to fix things. Jay Halstead was undergoing a double lung transplant, literally nothing else mattered to her today. Hailey pulled her jacket up over her head to combat the sheets of rain. She jogged her way to the door and chose to take the stairs. Literally nothing was going to stop her from getting in and out and back on the road to Med. She might have been out of breath as she reached her floor, pushing herself to just keep going. In the split second she felt to be one with Jay: both having trouble breathing. She felt for him, but still rushed through her front door, not bothering to kick shoes off or remove the soaking wet jacket, just beelining it for the bedroom and closet.

She took a quick pause in the bedroom, the thought suddenly striking her that the times of coming in here without Jay were finally coming to a close. At last, she could count down sleeps till it was the two of them once more. Everything seemed brighter, cozier, more relaxed at the thought of that. She could not wait to get him home, help him maneuver through his new limitations of life and make sure he rested and took his meds. She could imagine the loving fights they'd have over naps, hear his complaints when she said she'd help get him ready for bed and tuck him in at night. She couldn't wait to hear his voice, listen to his sleep sounds once more, she was so ready for him to get back.

"Hang on," she told the room, finally peeling herself away from her thoughts and in the direction of the closet. Once in the space she practically tore all her work attire off, switching them out for leggings, a big hoodie, and her running shoes before getting into the bathroom. In there she brushed her teeth for the second time that day, ran her hands through her hair as she pulled everything back into a high ponytail. Taking a final scan of herself, she deemed things appropriate for the hospital and on par with seeing her person again for the first time in a month. She was never going to be a beauty queen and Jay didn't expect that from her. He loved comfy dressed as much as he loved her in nothing. It wasn't what she was wearing, but the fact she was with him. Hailey then ran across the apartment to the guest room, grabbing Will's backpack and gathering everything he needed. She chuckled at the phone charger plugged into the wall, gathered all his bathroom items and threw them into a bag she hoped was the bathroom one. She got in and out of there in less than two minutes. The folks at Firehouse 51 would be proud of her speediness. She took a quick pause at the front door, observing things as they were for a final time. The next time she came through these doors she wouldn't have Jay, but she would've seen him again. And that made her extra excited.

"So long, hellish part of life," she bid farewell with. She slammed the door and locked it, taking the stairs once more to the lobby. She ran back out into the street, pleasantly surprised the truck was exactly where she left it and there wasn't a ticket to be found. She was quick to unlock and dive into the driver's seat, once again firing things up and heading back out onto her little racetrack.

"I'm coming, Jay. I'm coming," she said to absolutely no one. Part of her wanted that to be a summoning of fake Jay, but alas it appeared fake Jay was too busy preoccupying real Jay to be able to come to her.

The drive to Med was rather uneventful, which surprised Hailey a little. She had worked this day out in her head so many times. There would be a lot of crying, a lot of freaking out and worry over what was going on in an operating room that she would be a complete wreck to be able to do anything. But oddly enough, she was rather calm. Perhaps a little impatient and stressed that she wasn't there, but the desire or feeling to cry had yet to arrive. It was like her brain was on autopilot. Jay was in surgery. The lungs were in route. She was on her way to sit and wait for him to be done. It was all just that simple. Hailey didn't listen to the radio and didn't even talk to herself or really think, just solely focused on getting to Med. She was quite proud of herself, convinced this was Jay in some weird way guiding her through it all. He was the calm, stable, focused guy in the middle of chaos. He saw issues, found resolutions, and got everyone through things. She was doing so well until she pulled into Med's front entrance, coming to a complete halt at what lay in front of her. She froze, had no clue what to do. Frantically she fumbled for her phone, dialing Will and waiting for him to pick up.

"Yeah, what's up."

"Why are there news vans outside the hospital?"

"What?!"

"Will! I'm looking at three…no, five news vans and they're totally blocking me from getting to the main entrance." It was true, news had gotten out to the point of news networks hearing of a Chicago police detective that was in the process of undergoing the country's first double lung transplant as a result of Covid. Clearly the city, the world needed some good news that day and apparently Jay was going to deliver.

"Okay, just go around the back to the doctor's parking lot. I'll meet you there."

"Will, I'm in his truck."

"Hailey, they don't know it's his truck."

"But, what if they do? I can't be followed."

"Hailey, you won't. Just put the truck in drive, go around the back, and I'll be there in a second." It took her a moment to collect herself, get back into that autopilot zone she was so proud of moments ago. Will walked to the glass wall and looked down below in search of Jay's truck somewhere near the front entrance.

"Hey, okay I see you. Just go around to the back. I'm on my way now." Hailey could only nod, hanging up the phone before she got things moving again. The speed demon that was once in her was quick to leave, leaving her very worried of hitting something or being noticed. As a result she crawled her way around the hospital before finding the parking deck she'd become quite familiar with. As she made the final left turn to the entrance, her eyes went to the guy that was waving her down: Will.

"You want me to park," he asked at the gate.

"No, I can do it." Will waved his access card, saying something about being right here when she came back down as Hailey pulled through the gate. She found a parking spot, parked the truck, and didn't hesitate to get out. She ignored the thoughts of Jay being in the truck not too long from now, deciding to not absorb the moment but instead, keep forging right ahead. She had to get in that hospital, time really needed to start picking up. Will was exactly where he said he'd be when she got back down on level ground.

"Hey, come here," he greeted her with, the two of them laughing and hugging as the quiet thud of a chopper cracked into the atmosphere.

"Hailey. Hailey look up," Will spoke as he pulled away from her. The two of them craned their necks, peering through the rain that was falling on them as the faint black dot in the distance took on the shape of a medical helicopter.

"Is that.."

"-Yeah," Will called, the two of them still clinging to each other as the now roar of a chopper overhead took everything into a whole new gear. The lungs had arrived.

"Holy cow," Will thought aloud.

"They're here," Hailey excitedly gasped. They didn't move from their place till the chopper disappeared over the roof.

"Let's get inside before we're completely soaked."

"Too late," Hailey joked. Never had she been more excited to step foot into a hospital.

Fourth Hour

"Will."

"What," Will spoke up. He was buried in a random magazine, doing his best to distract himself from what was going on on another floor in the hospital. It was such a surreal thing, to be staring at a magazine and reading into the very frivolous and silly lives of celebrities while your brother was undergoing major surgery. Will was reading but not at all remembering or processing what was spilling out on the pages. When one knew that was happening, none of this magazine gossip life mattered or was even remotely important. So if anything, Will was happy Hailey had finally spoken up and said something. He needed a distraction from this failing distraction.

"Someone died today," she quietly spoke, turning her head back out to the glass wall. Ever since she'd entered the office she was in a complete ball, sitting on the other end of the large couch, daydreaming out the window. She'd been that way for so long that Sharon would occasion motion to Will, asking if Hailey was alright. Will would nod every time. She was just missing Jay, perhaps a little worried as well, but she was going to be fine.

"Yeah, I know." Will plopped the magazine back down on the coffee table, turning his full attention to her, waiting till she peeled herself away from the world and to him before he continued.

"It's easy to forget that. We get so excited and wrapped up in the thrill of receiving this precious gift of an organ, or in this case two. But that truth has also been really heavy to deal with. Someone died so Jay could live. It's barbaric that that's how this whole thing works, but on the flip side you want your person to get what they so desperately need."

"So how do you get over this mental hump of things. Because I can't stop thinking about that family and all that they're going through right now. Like I want Jay to get better and have a chance at a normal life, but at the same time I also feel really awful for how he got to this point."

"You remember that it's a gift," Sharon cut into the conversation.

"You tell yourself that these organs are the donor's final act on earth and it would be rude to not accept it. Plus, you have to remember that either the donor already decided this ahead of time or the family chose it today, deciding that this is what the donor would want. It does feel like you're stealing something that isn't yours, but you have to remind yourself that this was given to you or to your loved one." Will nodded, looking back at Hailey who was dabbing under her eyes.

"It probably also doesn't help that you see people going through the worst day of their life all the time," Will added.

"Yeah, that's probably true," Hailey admitted as she sat up, stretching her arms as Will reached over and patted her shoulder.

"Do we know anything about the donor," she asked? Sharon looked away from her computer, slowly shaking her head.

"Not much. Other then it was a thirty-two year old male from Iowa. HIPAA laws prevent us from giving out personal information right now. But after a couple months Jay could reach out and get more info and maybe meet his donor's family if they want that."

"Some people don't?"

"Not always. It varies by family or situation. Some people want to get in contact as soon as they can, others just refuse to know anything. It's all up to that donor family." Silence filled the space for another few moments, enough for Will to pick up another expired magazine while Hailey buried herself in her phone. The text messages were out of control, the missed calls and voicemails enough to keep her entertained till Jay was done. But she couldn't bring herself to listen or text or do anything except sit and wait and pray that Jay made it out of this day alive and recovering. She kept looking out into the city, wishing Jay would pop up in a building's window or be a passenger in a moving vehicle. But he never came, the rain and fog and dreariness to the world just pressed on. If it could move forward, then she had to do the same thing.

"I think this day calls for some really thick, messy, giant burgers. Are you guys in?" Will could only smirk at Sharon's offer, once again touched that she was thinking like a decent human being. Comfort food sounded amazing right then, both Will and Hailey's stomachs growling in unison.

"I'll take that as a yes," Sharon chuckled as she got in contact with the assistant.

"And a Coke, please," Hailey meekly added.

"Me too," Will finished.

"Three burgers, three Cokes. Hopefully it'll be up here soon."

Fifth Hour

The first big update came at 3:15pm. Will was now lying flat on his back on the floor, legs straight out while his arms were crossed at the wrists and were resting on his forehead. He was exhausted, drained, now feeling a little fried, fully realizing that they were potentially halfway through the surgery. But he had to admit he was a little worried over the lack of an update. The lungs arrived over ninety minutes ago. He understood it took time to get to the OR, get the lungs ready to be transplanted and then actually placed in the chest cavity. But still, his internal clock was going off. Hailey meanwhile was sitting in one of the plush chairs, her feet just grazing Will's. She was now taking up the activity of reading magazines, chuckling over how silly most of the stuff was. Some of the magazines talked about show finales that she had seen months ago, others were just about the most random celebrity gossip ever. Unlike Will, she found this fantasy world as a great distraction. In fact, she was so distracted that at first, she didn't hear Sharon get excited over her phone ringing.

"Goodwin," she answered. Will was up in one smooth move, sitting with his legs crossed and head deadlocked with Sharon as she listened to the voice on the other end of the call. She was good, not showing any expression or even tiny hints at what was going on. The call lasted seconds, Sharon thanking someone before hanging up.

"Well?"

"We're halfway there." Will literally jumped into the air, face glowing with excitement and relief.

"The left lung has been successfully transplanted. They said things took a little longer then expected with getting the old lung out, but the new one started breathing immediately."

"Wow, that's amazing. Man, this really is happening." Sharon smiled, rising from her chair and moving to go hug Will. The two of them embraced each other, laughing and exhaling in massive relief. One lung down, one to go and Jay was hanging in there.

"Hailey, did you hear that? Hailey?" Will turned around to find Hailey doubled over in the chair, feet fully on the ground as her forehead was on her knees. The magazine that was once in her lap had now fallen onto the floor. She was visibly shaking, trying to pass breaths, a total sea of emotions.

"Hey hey," Will quietly spoke as he got down to her level on the chair. He tried to give her a hug but she wouldn't budge. She was frozen, a mess, most certainly having a panic attack.

"Hey, I've got you," Will spoke in her ear over and over again as he finally got her to peel herself off her knees, she fell into his arms. What she didn't tell him was that she couldn't get the images of Jay out of her head. The images of him lying on a table with his chest wide open, exposing everything to the world around him. All she saw was the trauma, the blood and gore of what was happening to him. She couldn't shake it, couldn't get away from his extremely lifeless face.

"It's okay. He's going to be okay," Will spoke. Hailey could only nod.

"Do you want me to get you something, Hailey? Water? Meds? Whatever you need," Sharon offered. She too had joined Will and Hailey on the floor, resting her hand on Hailey's back. They sat there with her for ten, twenty, close to half an hour before Hailey dared to lift her head. She wanted nothing more then to open her eyes to Jay, but instead found Sharon's warm, comforting smile and gentle brush on her back, Will holding her tight the entire time.

"How are you feeling?"

"A little better. I just need this whole thing to finish." Will squeezed her tighter for a brief moment, totally understanding what she was feeling. This was a lot to grasp and accept and it all did happen so fast. If he had to admit, part of him was panicking as well.

"If you don't want to hear anymore updates I'd be happy to speak with Will outside of the room." Hailey shook her head.

"No, no. I want to hear what's going on. Just…bad thoughts. That's all." Sharon nodded.

"Are you sure you don't want anything? I could get you something that could help you rest for a little bit. Did both of you get any sleep last night?"

"Not really," Will spoke for both of them.

"How about this. Hailey, lay down on the couch and pull the blanket over you. I'll wake you up if another update comes through, but right now I'd like for you to just lay down, close your eyes, and breathe. Sound good?" Hailey had to admit, the couch and its' blanket had been calling her, so it wasn't a very hard sell. Will helped her stand, holding her back and hand as the two of them switched from the chair to the couch. Will propped a pillow for her before ushering her to lay down, draping the plush, thick, cozy blanket on top of her.

"This feels really silly, you tucking me in," she tried to joke.

"Oh stop, it's fine," Will joked back. Hailey pulled the blanket right up to her chin as Will sat on the floor, close enough to where the two of them could hold hands. Hailey was still coming off her attack, not quite ready to be solo.

"Everything's going to be fine. It'll be over soon," Will coaxed. Hailey wanted to point out that Will couldn't promise that, that in reality he had no clue what the next few hours were to bring and there was no guarantee things were going to be a complete success. But instead, she chose to nod, closing her eyes and breathing as Sharon suggested. She was out in under two minutes.

Eighth Hour

"We're in the window," Will announced as he watched the clock strike 6:38pm. At last, the day was finally coming to a close. Both inside the hospital and out in the world, things were beginning to transition. Outside the sun was slowly, yet steadily setting below the buildings, cascading this magnificent orange glow onto the world. The gross, dreary day had finally caved to the power and beauty of the sun. About an hour ago the rain had decided to let up, the fog lifting as soon as thick cracks of sunlight poked through the heavy cloud coverage. It appeared a beacon of Heaven was shining down on the city, on Med to be exact. Will and Hailey never said it out loud, but both were thinking it. It was a sign from the donor, from good fortune, a celestial presence letting them know their patience and waiting was about to pay off. The time of light, peace, calm and clarity was now upon them. It was such a glorious evening, all three of them taking the time to watch the world go from day to night. Sharon Goodwin's workday day was long done by now, but she wasn't about to leave her people alone in all of this. As they watched the lights dance into their places all across the city, Sharon poured three glasses of scotch and dished them out to Will and Hailey. All three of them gathered at the window, just taking things in. Will's announcement of being in the window was the first word uttered in quite some time, the two women pulling away from the view to look at him, nodding as they found their way back outside.

"What a glorious ending to a crazy day," Sharon announced.

"Amen," Will said while putting the glass to his lips.

"In more ways than one," Hailey rounded out. She raised her glass a little, looking to the other two before giving her quick toast.

"To gifts, and friends, and that the sun is setting which means Jay will hopefully be done soon."

"Here here."

"Amen." The three of them raised their glasses to their lips at the same time, sipped, and pulled away in unison, all while still watching the world outside. Chicago was putting on quick the glamorous show tonight. All the twinkling, the cars, the perfect sky and glorious full moon that was rising way off in the distance. In a very weird symbolic way, witnessing the sun setting and moon coming on was a great representation of what Jay was going through. The old lungs had done their thing, lived their life and now it was time to settle down, allowing the new, full, powerful lungs take their place. It almost felt timed, the way in which the surgery began so all those waiting could find this solace and peace in what was happening at that exact moment.

"What are we telling the press," Hailey interrupted the little moment with. Will rolled his eyes, completely forgetting that whole part of the day. Now he was worried he'd have the press trying to get in, mess up Jay's recovery or even going as far as trying to break into the operating room. Perhaps that was the reason they hadn't heard anything yet.

"I'll release a statement once the surgery is complete, if that's okay with Will."

"Anything to make the evening news a little better. But please add that we don't want them camping out the whole time."

"Of course. I've already talked with security and they said most of these people just want a quote. No one's tried to come in, they're all being very respectful."

"Well that's good to hear." They resumed their silence, their watching of things and just pondering, absorbing, appreciating the beauty amongst the chaos of the day. Sharon passed the scotch bottle down the line, still none of them speaking; just sipping and enjoying the moment. It was only when her phone buzzed on the desk did she pull herself away from things.

"Anything," Will asked? Sharon shook her head.

"Just a text about another matter." Will nodded.

"I miss him. I need this to be over. I'm about ready to scream or pull my hair out or…I don't know." Will chuckled, rolling his eyes at Hailey before he took another sip.

"Soon. It'll be over soon. And the wait will be worth it."

Tenth Hour

"You love him, don't you." Sharon's sudden and straightforward remark took her aback at first. For awhile no one had said anything. Since their little moment at sunset, things had become very intense, very dark in all aspects. As the minutes clicked off and still they didn't hear anything, even the most calm and optimistic person would admit to feeling those little tingles of doubt, worry, a gut feeling that something was wrong. Hailey was the first to ask it, Will decided that he couldn't wait things out anymore, falling asleep on the couch; leaving Sharon to be the steady, solid rock that both of them had to cling to. Externally she was stoic, internally she was doing her best to not call into the OR and figure out what was taking so long. At this point they were closer to eleven hours than anything else, all three of them living in that room were both exhausted and ready to get out of that space.

"I'm sorry," Hailey quietly asked? Her voice cracked a little from the lack of speaking, tone kept to a whisper to keep Will sleeping.

"Jay, your partner. I've seen enough partnerships in my time to know the line between being very close to things going much deeper. Not only have you stuck this out all day but you've really felt things." Will took the moment in between speaking to roll around in his sleep, arm tucked under his stomach and one leg hanging off the edge of the couch. He was like watching one of those NyQuil ads, Hailey hoping they could wake him up when the time finally arrived.

"Yes, we've been dating for a little while now." Sharon's eyebrows perked up, her head resting on three fingers while her arm was propped up on the arm of her chair. She looked every bit exhausted, but still she refused to leave or fully unwind. She was going to stick this one out till things were in the clear.

"So, this last month must've been a real test." Hailey slowly nodded, fighting the tears now.

"We had this great plan of quarantining together at my place, it was going to be this fabulous simulator of what the future could be. We got one great night out of that, and it was amazing. But the next morning…everything changed."

"A future…so, you two are planning to get married?"

"I'm not sure, we've never really talked about it. But after all of this.."

"-You can't imagine life without him." Now Hailey let the tears flowing, allowing them to quietly drip down her face. The occasional sniff happened here and there, but Hailey felt the truth in her comment, because it was so correct. For the last month there had been a huge void in her life, a giant, glaring, scary one that nothing could fill. But perhaps that was the big plan after all. She wanted to simulate the future, but what life was really giving her was a picture of life without Jay was. And, she had to admit, it sucked…like a lot. She wanted to go about things one way, but in the end she learned the same thing: life was not it's best if it didn't involve Jay.

"I just hope that after all of this he still feels the same way about me. Big, life changing things like this can change a person drastically," Hailey quietly spoke as she wiped the tears away.

"Oh, if there's anything I've learned about these Halsteads, it's that they're the most stubborn species alive. Once they've made their mind up about something, they won't sway from it. Jay maybe be different for awhile, that just comes with the territory of going through something traumatic like this. But he does love you. If he feels for you the same way you feel for him, no way is he changing his mind about things." Hailey smirked, accepting Sharon's big, bold statement of things. She wasn't sure why the woman asked any of this, but she was grateful. If anything it calmed Hailey's nerves, helped her put things in order. She loved Jay and Jay loved her. The two of them would find their way back to some version of their life together. It may not be what it once was, but it would be theirs.

"How has that one been during all of this," Sharon asked, sticking a quick thumb in the direction of sound asleep Will.

"Amazing. I don't know how he's done all that he has and remained calm and composed through everything. I really wouldn't be where I am without him. He's been huge in all of this." Sharon and Hailey jumped simultaneously, heads turning immediately to the desk as they watched her phone buzz, dance, light up on the flat surface.

"Here we go," Sharon quietly groaned as she pulled her exhausted, sore, older body up out of the chair and reaching for the phone.

"Will, WILL," Hailey smacked. Will moaned in his sleep, waving his hand at her as he tried to roll over. Hailey was now full force hitting him, not stopping till Will's eyes opened up.

"What the hell, Hailey," Will greeted with. Hailey pointed to Sharon behind her, taking great delight in watching Will's face light up. Soon the two of them were watching in tantalizing suspense waiting, begging for Sharon to hang up and tell them some news.

"Congratulations! Jay has two beautiful, healthy, functioning lungs. They're closing him up now and should be finished in the next half hour." Pure elation sang out of that room, so many hugs, high fives, random words and of course tears filled the once tense and somber office space. Jay had done it, history had been made. At last, he'd made it to recovery.

Post-Op

The surgeon looked every bit exhausted as one should after an almost eleven hour surgery. As he sauntered through the door just after 9pm, it was easy to see the strain and wear the day and done to him. His walk was confident, but a little slow. He was rubbing his eyes and holding back a yawn as he greeted his ever anxiously awaiting audience. He didn't bother asking if he could sit down, just took one of the seats across from the couch, exhaling and closing his eyes for a moment to just process all that had gone on. While he didn't say it, he was ever reminded of just how intense and grueling double lung transplants were to perform. They were absolutely rewarding and life changing, but getting through it was never an easy task. As Will and Hailey sat on the couch, super close to each other and on the literal edge of the couch, both of them wanted to just spit things out. They were so nervous, beyond ready to see Jay, just dying for the wait to be over. What they were most excited about, aside from Jay getting healthy new lungs, was the knowledge that he was in a recovery room recovering. Recovery, a word signifying that the fight was over. At last, Jay had reached a place of rest and healing. His biggest battle was behind him, now it was time to get back to living.

"Well Dr. Marsh, how did it all go," Sharon asked for the group. Will and Hailey giggled over her picking up on their mind battle over who would ask first. Dr. Marsh opened his eyes, sitting forward as he pulled his phone.

"Jay was absolutely the sickest patient I've ever performed that surgery on, but I'm very pleased to say that everything went as well as it could." Will threw his head down in relief, Hailey gasped as she put a hand over to mouth to keep her from squealing. Jay had done it.

"The CT scans and scope did not show the true extend of the damage to his lungs. When we opened him up his lungs it looked like a bomb went off. There was so much damage and just dead tissue and a ton of fusing to the chest walls that we had to remove the lungs in large pieces." The surgeon turned his phone to Will, revealing a series of images from the OR, displaying red organs that looked rather similar to hamburger meat. Everything was jumbled, torn looking, so many black and grey areas, it truly was a miracle that Jay made it as long as he did with those inside him. Will suddenly felt extremely confident in the decision of move forward with the transplant. There was no saving those lungs.

"That is so gross," Hailey spoke for the group, immediately laughing as a way to not throw up right on Sharon's carpet.

"Most definitely the worst case of lung damage and fibrosis that I've ever seen. I really don't know how those lungs functioned as long as they did. But the thing that made things difficult was making sure all the dead tissue was removed and we did have to reshape the chest cavity a little. We did, unfortunately, have to remove one of his ribs on the left side because the lungs had fused to it so much that there was just no way of getting everything off. But once we got over that hurdle everything else was easy. The lungs fit beautifully and they started breathing right away. Barring any kind of rejection I'd say he's looking at a very long and healthy life with those lungs."

"That's awesome," Sharon chimed in.

"So what's next," Will asked.

"Next step is getting him off the vent. I'd love to have him off of it sometime tomorrow. It was fine that he was so dependent on the vent with the old lungs, but the last thing you want to have happen with the new lungs is for him to still have that dependency. He is showing some promising signs of trying to breathe over the vent, but he needs to be fully off very soon. Those lungs want to breathe on their own, delaying them being able to do that could cause harm."

"Okay, so when do we make that call, when he's awake?" Dr. Marsh shook his head.

"When he hits 95% blood oxygen. We can take him off and he's still passed out. Again, he's already tried a couple times when coming off anesthesia but it wasn't long enough to remove it, plus his oxygen isn't quite there just yet."

"Where is he right now?"

"90%." Will eyes went wide.

"Wow, that quickly!?" The surgeon nodded.

"Yup, we've already pulled him off the blood pressure meds, his heart and all other organs are doing great. They're in the process of pulling him off the ECMO now. They just need to do that and get the epidural in place and he can go back up to the ICU."

"Epidural? Is he in pain?"

"Well, we don't know for sure. But when he was between the OR and recovery room he did open his eyes for a second. It wasn't anything coherent, more of a bodily reaction, but at the same time his heart fluttered a little so we're assuming it's pain. This is a very painful procedure so it's not uncommon." Hailey almost wanted to smack this guy for not leading with that comment: Jay had woken up! Even if it wasn't totally Jay and it was only for a moment, the fact he even did that was a massive step and huge victory. Now Hailey really couldn't wait to see him.

"How long will he be in the ICU?"

"Probably a week, maybe a little longer. It all depends on how quickly it takes to stabilize him, getting him off the vent, and to fully wake up. He's doing really well right now so if that holds, I'd say a week is very likely."

"How long till he would be able to go home," Hailey asked?

"Oh, at least two, three weeks even. We have to remember that on top of recovering from major surgery he's also getting over Covid. He's very weak right now and it's just going to take time before he's back enough to be sleeping in his own bed." Hailey just nodded. Admittedly, she was slightly disappointed Jay would have to remain in Med for awhile longer, but the fact there was an end date in sight made her get over things.

"When can we see him?" Dr. Marsh looked down at his phone, texted something quick back before looking up at Will.

"How about right now?"

"Yes," Hailey immediately responded, the rest of them chuckling at her quick answer.

"I'll deal with the press, you two go see him. And Will, Hailey? Congrats." Will nodded, rising first before offering a hand to help Hailey.

"Thank you, Sharon. For everything. This day was only bearable because of all that you did for us."

"I second all of that," Hailey added. Another round of hugs, more well wishes and promises to check in, soon the room filed out. Opposite of the time Will got up here, everything was still, lifeless, appeared to be asleep for the day. All the office meetings were to be had and all emails were addressed and phone calls completed for the day. They were walking amongst the shadows of quiet office nightlife. Will could barely contain himself as they got on the elevator, embracing Hailey in a hug as the elevator car dove down to the ICU floor. Both could not believe it. Jay had made it.

…

The reunion commenced at exactly 9:30pm, some thirteen and a half hours after Will entered the ICU that morning. Jay was not in the same room as before, this time in a room much closer to help should he need it. That was totally planned, given that things were going to have to be checked on the regular in very small time periods, it was best to keep him close. All the giddiness and delight that Will and Hailey shared in the elevator disappeared when they reached the ICU floor. The place was still just as daunting, dark, quiet as all the other times Will had come up here. Hailey was experiencing it for the first time and now living out what Will described, she understood why he was always so quiet and drained when he came home at the end of the day. This floor was heavy, housing so many different and difficult stories with each being equally awful as the last. Will had also told her ahead of time to not look around. For one, it should be done out of respect. Second, it would only make seeing Jay that much harder. As excited as they were that Jay was on the other side of all this, it was still very true that he needed this level of care. New lungs weren't something to take lightly. He was getting better, but he still had a few small hurdles to get over.

When they reached Jay's room, immediately Hailey's eyes watered. It was one thing to see him on a phone screen and talk about him outside of this place. But to actually see him, be feet away and moments from touching him, it put things into a whole new perspective. As she noted all the tubing, wiring, the beeping lights and waves on the monitors above his head, it brought home the absolute truth that all Jay had been through was true. Things weren't explained to her in a dramatic way and things weren't there just for show. Everything single thing on, in, around, and next to him was absolutely crucial to his survival. That one took a moment to process, leaving her unable to take that first step into the room. Will went in first just out of habit, turning back to look at her shocked, wide, bleary eyes with pity.

"Come on, it's not as bad as it looks. Here, I'll help you." Will held his hand out, patiently waited for Hailey to accept. She took a breath, clung to Will's statement, and nervously yet bravely stepped into the room.

"Awesome. One step at a time," Will encouraged, holding her back as he helped her round the right side of the bed. At this position she finally started to see the weight loss Will kept bringing up. She could see it in his face, the shoulders that were sticking up under the hospital gown. The rest of him was too covered up to reveal anything, but just the little glimpses were enough to paint the full picture. Whenever they did get Jay on a scale, it was going to be a shocking number.

"What's with the purple gown," Hailey inquired as she took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"It's a Baire Hugger. His body temp dropped while in surgery, it's totally normal. So not only does this insulate but there are little spots for warm air to be pumped in. It'll all probably stay on tonight and get switched out tomorrow." Hailey nodded, fiddling under the numerous blankets on Jay in search of a hand. She gasped a little when she felt skin. At last, not only could she see him, but she could also touch him. He was real once more.

"Hey Jay, I'm here," Hailey cooed, gently stroking his arm as best she could. It was difficult, given all that was on him, but she did her best.

"Good job, Jay. You made it through surgery," Will added in, taking the other hand in his and just remaining still. The two of them looked around the room, both mesmerized and humbled by all that was in the tiny space. There was so much to take in, so many light and sounds and signs of a life that was recovering from the biggest event of it's life. It was scary, disheartening, but the person in the middle of it all was so worth it. It wasn't pretty, but Jay was still here with them. He looked so peaceful, so relaxed and oxygenated once more. They weren't sure if it was the lighting, the antibacterial stuff they put all over that was still caked on his body, or just the knowledge of things; but Jay looked visibly healthier, pinker, more full then he had in a month. Hailey reached over to brush a thumb on his cheek, running her thumb gently on the tape that was holding the breathing tube in place. She still couldn't believe he was real, semi waiting to wake up from this very long dream of hers. But it was in the kiss on the forehead and whispers of loving him that it settled in her mind. Jay was going to be alright and come back to her, hopefully soon.

But what the two of them weren't aware of was that the man of the hour, their person, was in the very early stages of waking up. He could hear things, albeit in chunks and it all was very foggy and spoken under proverbial water. But his brain was able to pick up the noises and sense that things were very different from the last time he woke up. His whole body hurt, there were things sending out great pain signals that he knew weren't there before. He recognized the voices in the room, had the mental capacity to try and talk back to them and let them know he could hear them, but alas his body just wasn't quite up to the speed his mind was. His efforts to move, speak, do anything to show he was listening went unsuccessful. He was too exhausted, not quite ready to make that final, best push back to the surface. And so, as much as it scared him, Jay turned himself back towards that big, black, eternally deep hole and dove. He'd get back to them, to life, that he knew for sure. He just prayed his reentry was soon.