AN – New chapter is up. Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favourites!
Advance warning if there are any errors blame the night shift in me. I finished writing this on nights and also proofread this during my nights. I finished them this morning and have just given it another proofread but errors are likely in my sleep deprived state.
Chapter 15 – The Fear
As I rounded the corner to the administrative building, I spotted Dimitri walking from the direction of the gym. He spotted me and we met just as we both arrived at the front doors. I looked up and was met with his guardian mask but could see what looked like fear in his eyes. He led the way inside. Not saying anything which really set the fear in me. He couldn't possibly think she knew, we had only been back a few days.
We entered the building in silence. As we walked towards Alberta's office, I felt Dimitri brush his fingers against my hand in a soothing gesture. Alberta was standing outside her office waiting for us. I gulped. That did not look good. And she looked pissed.
''Belikov inside. Now. Rose wait here.'' She said and turned into her office. Dimitri followed in and quickly shut the door.
Shit. She must know. How could she know. We'd only gotten together while we were away and yes, we hadn't exactly been careful around campus, but we were always in a closed off room and I didn't think anyone had seen us. I started to panic. I couldn't lose him. I wouldn't lose him. I'd beg her if I had to. She couldn't make him leave, couldn't lock him up for this. I knew this was a possibility. I had been so selfish. Why couldn't I have just been good and behaved since we had been back. Why did I have to keep pushing him?
I wanted so badly to press my ear against the door to hear what was being said behind, but I knew from previous attempts I wouldn't hear anything. I started pacing in the corridor wondering what the hell was happening inside that office. I wasn't left waiting long. Less than five minutes had passed when the door opened again, and Alberta gestured for me to enter the room. I saw Dimitri sat in a chair opposite Alberta's desk, his face expressionless but I could see anger and disbelief in his eyes. What surprised me the most though, was that Art was stood to the side of the office. He didn't look at me as I walked in. He didn't seem to be looking anywhere.
Then it hit me. He'd told. No. Surely, he wouldn't. He promised. He understood. He knew what this felt like. Alberta told me to take the remaining seat opposite her desk, but I ignored her.
I stood in the middle of the room staring at Art in disbelief. He still hadn't looked at me and I realised he was in guardian mode. Staring at nothing but taking everything in. He wouldn't look at me, but I would make him look at me. My heart was shattering in my chest. He was so good to us, what changed? I thought he understood.
''Art? WHY?!'' I shouted at him. The only acknowledgement I got was his slight flinch from the venom lacing my words.
''Rose. Why, what?'' Alberta asked calmly. She had made her way around her desk and had taken the seat behind it. I turned to look at Alberta, she again gestured for the chair beside Dimitri and taking a deep breath I decided to wait until I knew for sure before I went off in a fit of rage.
''Nothing.'' I said equally as calm, or what I hoped sounded calm. On the inside I was nothing but calm. ''What's going on? I haven't done anything in the past few days. Hell, I haven't even been here for the last few days.'' With that both Dimitri and Art flinched slightly in the corner of my vision. What the hell was happening. Luckily, I could see them both from where I was sat. Art was stood just behind Dimitri.
''Yes. I would like to talk to you about those few days away.'' Alberta said in a soothing voice. I gulped. She definitely knew.
''What about them?'' I asked, trying to sound braver than I felt. If she knew we were done for before we even had the chance to really begin. Dimitri would get taken away from me and end up in jail.
''Well. I noticed before you left something was going on. Ever since you guys have come back you have been acting strange. Like you have been trying to avoid each other in public or so it seems. So, I want to know what happened?'' Alberta asked, shooting Dimitri a glare that made it pretty obvious she knew. We were doomed.
''Nothing happened. I don't know what you are talking about.'' I tried lying. I knew it was pointless at this point, but I wasn't going down without a fight.
''Please. Don't lie to me. I knew something was happening before you two left. You've acted different around each other since the dance.'' I gulped again. I was going to kill Art for this. ''And then you go away and come back and can hardly be around each other. I've seen you look at each other in the cafeteria and walk by one another without another glance. You used to always stop and say a few words but now don't. So, I'll ask again. What happened?'' She said. Damn guardians being so observant. We were royally screwed.
''Honestly nothing.'' I said looking at Dimitri in the corner of my eye. It wasn't exactly a lie. Nothing happened except for a few kisses.
''Okay. How about this. This is what I think has happened.'' Alberta paused. Possibly giving me chance to change my mind and just tell her. I wasn't risking it; I was sure she knew but on the off chance she was dead wrong I wasn't going to risk telling her. ''I think that an older guardian took an underage novice out of the academy for a sanctioned reason and got stranded and then booked a room to share with that said novice, and now that said novice is acting strange.'' Alberta continued; the implication clear in her voice. WHAT?! My mind was spinning with the way her thoughts were going.
''NO!'' I shouted, standing up in my own anger this time. I knew what she was implying. How she could even think that was beyond me. I saw Dimitri tense up next to me, his hands balled up into tight fists by his side.
''Rose. Calm down. I know nothing happened. If I even thought something like that had happened Dimitri would not be in a mile radius of you. Hell, he wouldn't even be alive.'' She said with a harsh undertone.
''Then what are you implying. I don't understand.'' I said. I was still standing; I had no clue what was going on. I wish she'd just come out and say it.
''That you and Belikov are in an illegal relationship.'' She replied.
''And?'' I asked. If she knew why hasn't she just arrested him already.
''And it shouldn't have happened. I have no other choice. Art?'' Alberta said sternly, causing Art to step forward. I turned to see him reaching behind his back and pulling handcuffs out. I moved before he even had a chance to walk closer to Dimitri and without a second thought jumped onto his lap.
''I'm sorry.'' I muttered in a shaky voice, burying my face into his neck. ''So sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you. All those kisses. I shouldn't have done it. Someone's seen and reported us. Oh god, you're going to lose your job, you're going to be put in prison and it's all my fault. Why couldn't I have been stronger!'' I cried.
''Hey. Shh. No. It's not your fault. It's going to be ok.'' He said as he rubbed his hands up my arm trying to soothe me as sobs wrecked through my body.
''How can you say that? They're going to take you away from me and I only just got you back. I won't let them.'' I sobbed.
''Because it will be. You'll see.'' He comforted.
''It won't! They're going to throw you in jail. You'll lose your guardian title and they won't let you near me again!'' I shouted, my tears drying up as quick as they started and anger taking its place.
''Rose. Shh. Listen to me. It will be ok. After all this is over, if you still want me. We can be together.'' He replied, trying to soothe me.
''I'll always want you.'' I said calmly. Then I remembered the other two people in the room, and I decided to fight for us. I wouldn't take this lying down. I turned in my place on his lap to stare at Alberta, giving her my best death stare. ''I won't let you take him. You'll have to fight me and remember he taught me.'' I tilted my head in the direction of Dimitri at the last part.
''Rose, don't make this any more difficult than it already is.'' Alberta muttered. Her voice sounded pained and I realised she didn't want to do this. She was after all losing one of her best guardians.
''I love him. More than anything in this world. After the dance I felt like I was dying, after he turned me away, I wanted to die. I wanted him so much and still had to go through the motions of training with him every day. It was torture. Pure and undeniable torture. Then at the B&B he finally told me he felt the same. He was done hiding it and now you're taking him away. Your taking my happiness away.'' I said sadly. ''Alberta. Please don't do this. You are like a mother to me. But if you do this. If you send him away, I'll never forgive you.'' I was crying again. I couldn't believe the women I viewed as a mother would do this.
She sighed. ''Okay Art that's enough. I think I got my answer.'' She said in the direction of Art. I turned around to see Art relax and come forward. I tensed ready to fight him, but he just walked past us and sat in my vacant chair. I looked at them all confused.
''What? What's going on?'' I asked confused. Alberta didn't say anything. She just stood from her desk and walked towards her office door which she then locked. As she turned around there was no more Guardian Petrov but the women who had raised me since I was four and she was smiling at me.
''What is going on Rose is that I now know the truth. I suspected you felt the same for Belikov as he did you, but I needed to hear it from your mouth before I made my decision.'' She said still smiling.
''And what decision is that?'' I asked, still not entirely trusting her in this matter and completely confused at the turn of events.
''I brought you in today to tell you both that Belikov is being reassigned.'' I let out a strangled sob as she said those words, my heart breaking all over again.
''No!'' I said, Dimitri was whispering in my ear again trying to calm me down.
''Alberta, why?'' Dimitri asked, speaking directly to Alberta for the first time. His voice sounded strained. I don't think either of us expected this outcome.
''If you could of both let me finish you wouldn't have needed to react like that.'' She muttered, looking at us both. We nodded for her to continue. ''As I was saying, Dimitri is being reassigned. UNLESS you can both promise me that this relationship will stay a secret and nothing will happen until you, rose, graduate.'' Alberta finished, pointing towards me.
''That has always been the plan Alberta.'' I said.
''Then why was there mention of kisses earlier?'' She challenged. I gulped.
''Because he is hard to resist?'' I said it more as a question. She rolled her eyes and actually laughed.
''Rose. Leave it up to you to break me when I'm trying to be stern.'' She mumbled shaking her head.
''Well what can I say? Have you seen him?!'' I laughed as I gestured in his direction. ''Seriously though, how did you know?'' I asked. I feared her reply, what if someone had seen us?
''I suspected enough after the dance and even before then really. But the dance was the turning point. I know something happened which you'' she looked at Dimitri at this. '' aren't being forthcoming about. You both bring out the best in the other. Before you came back Rose, Dimitri didn't talk to any of his colleagues, now he does. And you, before you ran away you were a party animal and a rebel amongst other things and now you are driven and focused on becoming the best guardian you can. You are still rebellious, but you haven't gotten into half the trouble you use to since coming back.''
''That's probably just because I don't have time to get into trouble because if I'm not in school or sleeping, I'm training.'' I replied sarcastically. ''So, you're really not arresting him or sending him away?'' I asked
''I'm really not sending him away. He can stay as long as you promise to maintain this professional persona around campus.''
''What about kissing?'' I asked, I was pushing my luck and I knew it. Dimitri sighed loudly beside me and I could feel him shaking his head and whispering Roza into my ear.
''As long as no one sees you and I can continue turning a blind eye then its ok. But that is all.'' Alberta replied. I nodded.
I turned to look at Art who still hadn't said anything. I felt like I owed him an apology more than ever. I nearly attacked him.
''I'm sorry Art. I never should have doubted you.'' I said solemnly, he nodded. ''But how come you are here?'' I asked.
''Alberta called me and asked me about the attack, and we got talking. She raised her suspicions with me and even told me she'd had them confirmed.'' I could see Alberta shaking her head in the corner of my eye, I'll be coming back to that one then. ''So, I told her what I knew. She asked me to be here today'' He said while shrugging.
''Wait? Was this whole thing a game?'' I asked as it all suddenly fell into place. They all burst out laughing and by all, I mean Dimitri did as well. I jumped up and spun on him. ''HANG ON! What did you mean he isn't being forthcoming? DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?!'' The first part was aimed at Alberta, but by then end I had spun and was shouting towards Dimitri. Now it was Dimitri's turn to look scared. He looked up towards Alberta for what appeared to be help. ''Oh no. Don't look at her for help. She isn't going to help you. Did you know this was going to happened?'' I asked.
''Roza.'' He said warningly, he had actual fear lacing his words and clear in his eye. HA he was scared of me!
''No. You knew and you didn't stop them! I was terrified. I thought I was going to lose you all over again when we'd only just both admitted defeat and decided we would be better together!'' I screamed.
''Alberta only told me just before she let you in. I didn't agree with it at all, but you were already here so expecting something. There was nothing I could do. But I did already know Alberta knew, she is one of the reasons I told you the truth.'' He responded. I turned on him and faced Alberta who was smiling and if I was not mistaken was holding back laughter. The question must have been clear on my face as she spoke before I could say anything.
''He didn't want me to do this. He knew what me doing this would put you through even if it was for a short time. But I had to. I needed a fearful truthful reaction from you to be certain in your feelings in order for me to make the best decision for you.'' Alberta said. I could see her apologetic expression on her face. She was doing it because she cared. I nodded in her direction giving her a small smile. ''I'm sorry Rose. But it was also the perfect opportunity to get my own back for all those pranks and trouble you have caused me over the years. I was going to confront you both anyway. I already spoke to Dimitri before you two went away and gave him some advice which I am happy he took. But I decided when it came to confront you, I wanted to get some much needed pay back. Art knowing really helped me form a plan and I asked if he would be willing to help and here he is.'' I just stared at her in disbelief. She had really known all along and didn't mind. She was ok with it. We were safe. After the initial shock had worn off, I began laughing. Not just a haha laughing but really laughing with my belly and everything. To the point that I was laughing so much I fell to the floor, tears streaming down my face, eventually everyone joined, and we all sat and just laughed.
Eventually we all calmed down and collected ourselves. ''Okay. I forgive you Alberta. I have to hand it to you, you got me excellently but honestly did you have to scare me like that.''
''I needed to be sure of your feelings. The best way to do that is threatened to take something away. If you didn't react in your basic instincts which for you is fighting I wouldn't of believe you felt the same way and I would have sent him away. But you fought for your love. I'm sorry.''
I shrugged. ''I get it, even if it did terrify me.'' By now I was sat back on Dimitri knee. Thank god Alberta locked the door. If anyone burst in while we were in this position, we would be screwed.
''Right go on. Back to class and I'm pretty sure your meant to be on shift Dimitri. Art, I'll sort you some shifts out and get them sent over later.'' Alberta said in clear dismissal. I leant up quickly and gave Dimitri a chaste kiss before standing and walking towards the office door with Art and Dimitri following.
After we left the administrative building Art finally spoke up. ''I'm sorry Rose for my part in that. I tried to tell her I knew you felt the same, but she wanted to see it with her own eyes.''
''No worries Art. Actually, the more I think about it the funnier it becomes.'' I said shaking my head before I started laughing again. ''Anyway, what are you doing back here? I thought you'd be on your way now.'' I asked, the implication clear in my voice.
Art looked behind him at Dimitri and whispered to me ''I couldn't do it.''
I looked around, silently telling Dimitri to leave with my eyes and luckily, he got the message, although I didn't get a raised eyebrow. ''I need to get off. See you later Roza, Art.''
''Bye Dimitri, I'm sorry again.'' Art replied while Dimitri waved him off.
''Bye Comrade. See you at training.'' With that I was reminded off another question I needed to ask. Maybe Art would help this afternoon.
I waited for Dimitri to get far enough away before I continued my questioning to Art. ''What do you mean? You couldn't do it?''
''I couldn't find out where she was. What if she doesn't feel the same? Or has moved on and found someone else? I can't just uproot her life, it isn't fair.'' I replied.
''From what you've told me I would say she felt the same. Just find her, all these what ifs or maybes are just that, maybes. What if she hasn't moved on, what if she did feel the same way and you were both too stupid to just tell the other person. And what if she is just as scared as you are to find out the truth? You've suffered long enough.'' I implored. Yeah, I sounded so much like one of Dimitri's zen lessons right now.
''I think you've been spending too much time with Dimitri.'' He muttered. ''I just need some more time to come to term with what has happened. Then I'll find her.'' I could see the decision clear on his face. He wanted to find her. But the attack was holding him back at present I realised.
''You know if you need to talk about what happened me and Dimitri are always here. I might not be as useful as Dimitri, but I might be able to help.'' Me and Dimitri had talked about it one night and both decided that if Art needed an ear, we would be available. I said then that Dimitri would be the better one out of the two of us as he had unfortunately also lost a charge and someone, he was close to.
''Thank you Rose. I may take you up on that. I do feel I need to apologise to you about back at the B&B.'' he muttered.
''what about the B&B?'' I asked confused.
''The rooms.'' He mumbled. Then I suddenly remembered him thanking the clerk at the desk when we left, and I wondered why. I never did get the answer.
''What about the rooms?''
''When I checked us in there were actually three rooms available. I just told them we would take two. I knew if two had to share that it would be you and Dimitri, and I hoped that you guys sharing would push him to tell you the truth. I didn't want you two to make the same mistakes I did, so I had to try. But I am sorry, I shouldn't have done it.'' He said looking down in shame.
''But they had a no vacancy sign up.'' I replied clearly dumbfounded.
''Yeah, I asked them to put it up. They agreed as they said it was unlikely anyone would be coming through with the weather how it was. They were surprised when we rocked up.'' He said sheepishly.
''Okay. Here is how this is going to go. You are going to come to training tonight and you can tell Dimitri this. Mainly because I want to see him kick your ass. He is not going to be happy about this.'' I said happily. He certainly wasn't going to be happy about this, but I was happy Art did it, how could I not when it gave me Dimitri.
''Really?'' I just nodded in response. ''Fine. While I'm apologising, I should also say I'm sorry for the inappropriate advice I gave you in the gym and then asking you if you followed it. It was wildly inappropriate and creepy of me. My head wasn't quite right just after the attack but that is no excuse. I'm sorry.''
''No worries. Yeah, I found it creepy at times but also found it funny. It made Dimitri feel awkward and embarrassed. I mean it though Art, if you need to talk. Let us know.'' I reminded him. ''Anyway, I need to run, I have class. Are you going to be ok?''
''Yeah, I'll be ok. Meet you at the gym later?'' he asked.
''Yup.'' I said popping the p. ''Get ready for your ass kicking!'' I said happily. Glad I hadn't had to directly ask him to come and basically supervise our training session. This would hopefully be a test run and if it worked, I'd bring it up with both of them at the end of training.
I walked away and headed back over to the main building and into lessons. I knew I would be missing first period as it only had five more minutes, so I headed straight to my next lesson and waited outside the room.
AN – I am aiming to update a few times this week as I am off on leave again so fingers crossed, I'll get some writing in
What did we think of Alberta basically messing with Rose?
Apologises again for any errors. I'm only human! Please review if you feel like it!