Chapter 12- Allograft

Three Weeks Later

"Are you ready to get out of here tomorrow," Hailey asked?

"I don't even know what that means," Jay teased.

"Maybe we should keep you here for another couple weeks then. Have the doctors check your brain to see if you're suffering from long term memory loss," Hailey laughed back.

"No thank you," Jay immediately shot back at her. Life had become very much routine in many different aspects. They all were completely adjusted to the hospital lifestyle now. One of the visitors knowing their exact time to leave each day, what to bring with them when they returned the following morning. Those staying overnight knew when it was time to turn the TV off and cease all conversing and when Jay would arise in the middle of the night for more meds or help getting to the bathroom. It was such a normal way of doing life now, which was strange for all of them to accept. The fact was, no one liked being in the hospital for months, but the other very true fact was that all had adjusted and were actually, kind of enjoying their little escape from reality. Another truth was, none of them knew what life outside these walls would look like. They didn't know how long Jay would be stuck at home or if he'd ever be able to go back into the field before the year was up. They didn't know what Covid would bring to things and certainly didn't know when life for everyone would get back to normal. So with so many unknowns ahead of them, they were savoring the oasis that was a hospital transplant floor. In all honesty, part of them was not completely ready to leave just yet, they were happy being in the controlled environment of things.

The two of them were walking side by side around the floor, yet another routine they'd gotten very easily into. Jay would sleep most of the morning away, only waking up to eat a late breakfast before taking in the morning visit of doctors, nurses, anyone who wanted to poke and prod him for blood, fluids, whatever else they wanted. After that it would be a moment of just chilling, talking with Will and Hailey about things before deciding it was time to get up and walk around. After his couple laps around the floor he plop himself back into bed and sleep the afternoon away. Night time was when he was the most alert and active, that's when the really big talks would take place, the deep conversations about Covid, the transplant, pretty much everything that had happened during his time that he'd checked out. He was really coming around to things, definitely in the process of accepting all that happened and truly trying to take it all as his own. He wasn't there quite yet, but he was doing so much better then those early days of waking up.

"How's the breathing," Hailey inquired as they reached the halfway point of the journey? The other fun thing about Jay was how much slower he walked. It was all about building up that strength, so naturally things were going slow yet steady. After years of just trying to keep up with him, Hailey was having to slow her pace a little so he could stay right beside her. Finally, Jay was getting a taste of his own medicine.

"It's fine," Jay responded, ignoring the mild panting and tight chest that came from working out. He felt it was okay to push things a little. So much more was going to be asked out of these lungs before long, a little extra nudge to work harder for a little bit of time wasn't going to hurt anything. Hailey brushed her hand on his back, reminding him to let her know if they needed to pause for a moment. Jay nodded, but knew that was never going to happen.

"So, am I going back to my place, your place, Will? What is the plan for tomorrow?"

"Well, that's up to you, really. We're open for whatever you'd like. Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable, we're game for." Jay nodded, continuing to look in the direction he was walking.

"I'm fine with your place. A lot of the stuff I'd need is already there so it makes the most sense. Is that okay with you?" Hailey smirked, brushing her hand on Jay's back.

"I'd love that," she smiled. Jay turned his view away from the floor and to her, nodding as she ran her fingertips up and down his back. The only slight hinderance to Jay's progress was how long it was taking him to regain all the lost weight. In three weeks time he was up to a solid a 150 pounds. They all were hoping he'd be closer to 160, but given his body was still going through so much and he wasn't being super mobile, it was difficult getting his fast metabolism to work in his favor. He was now eating three solid, full meals a day and still was struggling to not look super weak and anemic. But he'd get there, one day they'd all forget this little part of the journey. But in the moments of living through it all, it was a tough thing to watch him go through. Hailey could still feel the ribs on his back, the thinness to his person, but she held her hand there anyway.

"You can hold my hand," Jay spoke out of nowhere, taking Hailey back a little. That was a huge step, like a very big leap from no contact to some form of PDA. Hailey was so touched, and quite proud of him for being so quick and willing to move to another level of things. She looked him right in the eyes, watching as he nodded his head before extending a hand for her to hold. Hailey was definitely not about to leave him hanging.

"Well this is so unexpected from you, but this is nice." She wrapped her hand around his, squeezing tight as she excitedly inhaled. It had been forever, but oh how his hand felt so good in hers once more. Patience really did pay off.

"I know, but I just wanted to try it. See if I was ready."

"And? Are you?" Jay smirked, adjusting their hands a little as he nodded.

"Yeah, feels right." Hailey so, so badly wanted to step up to her toes, lean in for a quick peck on the cheek or lips, but she was not about to push him. So instead she smiled wide, giggled a little before the two of them resumed walking, hand in hand this time. It was so cheesy yet both were enjoying it immensely.

"Proud of you, Jay," Hailey finally spoke.

"For what?"

"For everything. For this moment, for the last however many weeks. You've gone through so much, have defied so many odds, and here we are holding hands and just being two normal people. I mean, it's just amazing that we're here on the other side of all of that. Real talk, I truly didn't know if we'd ever see each other again, be able to do this. When I dropped you off at the ED way back in March, I had no clue what was going on and what the next few hours had in store. So thank you, Jay. Thank you for not giving up."

"Well, thank you for giving me a reason to not quit." Hailey had to collect herself after that one. Again, she was seeing so many new sides of Jay today. He was never this personal and open and willing to speak his deepest, most inward feelings. As much as she truly loved his little confession, she wanted to make sure he wasn't putting all of this on her. He played a huge part in all of this, if not the biggest role of all. If he didn't have the fight, then none of them would have been behind him.

"Can I hug you," she asked? That was yet another great thing about Jay recovering, he was able to accept hugs without worry of damaging things. Jay responded by opening his arms as best he could, allowing her to wrap her arms around his very thin waist before the two of them just stood there, in the middle of the hallway, embracing the other.

"While I love what you just said, I hope I wasn't the only reason you stuck around."

"I know, but I'm just saying you were a big factor."

"Okay. Because while we may be together, you cannot lose yourself Jay. You're allowed to be your own person while still having to be stuck with me," Hailey teased. Jay chuckled, pulling away so he could look down at her.

"I'm not stuck with you, I want to be with you."

"Likewise."

"And yes, ultimately I wanted to stay for me."

"Well that's good to hear." Another round of smiles, one final hug, and they decided to pull away.

"Love you, Hailey."

"Love you too, Jay," Hailey spoke back. They remained locked at the hands till they rounded the final turn to Jay's room. It was Jay who pulled away first, stopping in his tracks at the sight of Will and Sharon Goodwin conversing outside his bedroom door, looking to be more debating and scheming rather then keeping small talk.

"What's going on," Jay spoke to them? Will turned his attention away from Sharon and towards Jay.

"Oh hey, you finished up a little faster today!" Jay completely bypassed Will's attempt to distract him from what was really going on. Hailey, who was behind Jay, was making a questionable face towards Will, who waved her off.

"What's going on," Jay asked once more, a little more concerned then the previous ask. Sharon finally turned to face him, not wanting to cause a scene in the hallway.

"Jay, Will and I were discussing something about your donor family. Can we take this in the room?" Jay went white at the mention of the donor family. In true honesty part of him had forgotten that little part of everything. With all that was going on with him and how the whole recovery process had been progressing, in his mind he'd moved a little past the part of knowing someone's family donated their loved one's organs. Yes, he was forever grateful for their gift, but his mind had accepted that gift and was now trying to figure out the rest of his life with these precious donations. So to think that something was going on with the family, the group that started this whole thing, it genuinely scared him. They certainly couldn't take the organs back, but in his very scared, unsure state at the time, he figured anything was possible.

"Let's get you into the room," Will spoke, seeing his brother going weak with fear as the brain was running in overdrive.

"Jay, I need you to breathe. Everything is going to be fine," Will calmly spoke as Jay made it to the bed before holding things up. Will told him to close his eyes, running a hand on his back as Jay worked through the sudden struggle to breathe. Hailey stood on the other side of the bed, placing her hand on top's of Jay's balled up fist, looking at Will for some kind of direction of where things are going. Will shook his head, all of them staying in their spots till Jay calmed down.

"Better," Will asked after some time? Jay picked his head up, looked to Will and Hailey before nodding that he was on the mend. Jay got himself back into bed, another great progression of recovery, before Will and Hailey took a seat on the end of Jay's bed. Sharon took the couch, settling down and getting herself right before beginning the conversation.

"So this morning I got a call from the hospital in Iowa, the one where your donor passed, and they said the donor's mother would like to speak to you. She said if you don't want to, that is totally fine. But she is just wanting to reach out to the recipients of her son's organs and would like to know how they're doing."

"That's it? She doesn't want to like yell or anything," Jay nervously asked? Will shook his head, Hailey swallowed as she kept looking to Sharon for a response.

"Yes, she just wants to hear from you. On your approval, they'd like to FaceTime with you. She just wants to put a face and name to her son's gift. That's all."

"Did she seem mad? Angry?" Sharon shook her head.

"I didn't speak to this person, but the fact she is reaching out tells me she's coming from a very calm, loving, accepting space."

"Has anyone else said yes?"

"I'm not sure. We aren't allowed to have that information. We're limited to medical knowledge through your case." Jay nodded, took a few moments to think things over. It was just a phone call. It wasn't some in person meeting and he wasn't required to give this person anything more than his time. In conclusion, the decision was so simple. This woman was giving him a second chance at life. The very least he could do was give her a few moments of conversation.

"I'll do it. When do they want to do this call?"

"That's up to you."

"If it can be done in time, sometime this evening would be good." Will nodded, patted his brother's foot before getting up from the bed. Hailey brushed her hand on his before rising as well.

"Excellent. I'll call them back and get things all set up. Will, keep your phone with you."

"Definitely." They all waved farewell to Sharon, watching till she cleared their sights to go back into what was going to happen. In a few hours, both the donor and recipient were going to put a face to a name; a story to a story. This was so huge, also quite scary, a very surreal full circle moment coming up.

"Are you sure about this," Will asked?

"Will, let's think about this here. This woman and her family said yes to me. How can I possibly say no to her?"

"True. But you're okay with it happening right now?"

"If it wasn't this time, when would it be?" That one sunk in for quite sometime, the rest of the afternoon as a matter of fact. Jay was asleep when Sharon filled Will in on all the details. The plan was in place. Jay would meet his donor's mother, via FaceTime, at 6pm that day. It was a room of nerves, excitement, emotions, everything to say the least.

…

6pm arrived way faster then Will and Hailey desired, but for Jay it was a little longer then the blink of an eye. Part of that had to do with the fact that he slept most of the day away, but the other part was that he was kind of dreading this call. It felt very wrong to not want to speak to this woman, but with all the unknowns surrounding this talk, Jay felt it was best to just kick this whole thing down the road. Perhaps when he wasn't still recovering in a hospital and when he was more adjusted to things and in a much better headspace, this would all be a lot more enjoyable and better prepared. But deep down Jay knew he had to do this, he had to finally come to terms with the very heavy aspect of this whole journey. Someone died so he could live, and the very least he could do was talk to this person's family member. Worst case scenario, they were furious over what transpired but there was nothing to change the outcome. Best case scenario, they had a wonderful conversation and Jay was truly able to grow from this. But as is the case with most big moments, Jay's mind was back and forth between things like a good tennis match, creating a very nervous, on edge person in the middle of two people trying to make everything perfect and right.

"Maybe we should put a hoodie on? I don't know if this lady wants to see the central line," Will mumbled aloud.

"Will, she knows he's in a hospital. It's fine. Jay, you really need a haircut and maybe to shave a little."

"I just did the other day," Jay spoke.

"Yeah, but I think you need to look a little more clean cut. People like that look." Jay rolled his eyes as Hailey started rummaging through his bag for a hoodie, coming up with nothing but empty hands.

"What about a pillow? Maybe angle him so she can't see the central line?"

"It's going to be head on so there's no way to avoid this."

"Jay, did you brush your teeth?"

"Why does that matter? It's a phone call, not in person."

"Okay! You two," Jay finally spoke over the back and forth banter.

"I appreciate you guys trying to set this all up. But right I need you to sit and be quiet. Seriously." Jay pointed to the couch, glaring at both of them till they gave up their antics and sat. Once they were settled in, Jay placed his phone on the table they'd rolled in front of the chair he was sitting in. Out of all the ideas they'd come up with for this chat, that was the one thing Jay agreed on.

"Everything is going to be fine, alright? I appreciate the help and…ideas. But I need you two to relax and let me do this. This is my part of this whole thing now. Whatever happens, it's going to be fine."

"Tell your face that," Will pointed out, acknowledging the fact that Jay looked every bit freaked out as they were over the little details. But, Jay wasn't able to fire back because at that exact moment, the FaceTime ringtone was going off on his phone. Jay was quick to zero in on the phone. He took a breath, closed his eyes, and both exhaled and opened the eyes before sliding the call to accept. Here went nothing.

What greeted him on the other side of the screen was the epitome of a living teddy bear hug. She was an aged woman, looking to be in her late sixties, with the warmest vibes and friendliest smiles Jay had ever come across. She was a plump lady with extra bright eyes and a face of perfect makeup, extra rosy cheeks, red lips, and lashes that went to the Heavens. Her hair was that classic style of large, pillowy, hair sprayed to the sky as it all curled, waved, and was almost wind blown appearance off her face. Her smile was lighting up her world that she was calling from, so radiant that Jay couldn't help but smile back. Whether it was genuine or not, Jay figured this was the first time he'd smiled in weeks, months even.

"Hi Jay, I'm Cheryl." Jay couldn't see the lower half of her, but based on the top half she dressed like every other extra loving, excited, hilarious mother he'd come across. She was in a white, frilly top with navy blue polka dots all over. As she brushed a single strain of hair out of her face, Jay noted the three gold, bulky rings on her fingers. She was so warm, loving, all worry and fear escaped from Jay immediately. In a single sentence, Jay just knew this was going to be nothing but a great experience.

"Hi Cheryl, nice to finally meet you."

"Oh baby, the pleasure is all mine. I know there's a system to all of this and you're supposed to wait a certain number of days and it's supposed to be you who reaches out. But, I woke up this morning and I was missing my Adam so much that I just came up with this crazy idea of seeing him through all of you. So thank you for playing along with my crazy notion," she laughed. Jay could not understand how this woman was so happy, alive, seeming to be moving on with her life. It was a little over a month since surgery, meaning a month since her son had passed away. Jay was still trying to figure things out, accept it and just get back home. Meanwhile this woman was acting like life was grand. It was almost odd, Jay feeling like they should be in each other's head spaces. But alas, here they were.

"Oh no, Cheryl, I should be the one thanking you. I really feel like I should have this huge speech with a lot of big, extra long words in it. But right now I can only say, thank you. What you did, in no exaggeration, saved my life and I don't know how to repay that or say that in the way it deserves."

"Oh Jay, just seeing you right now and knowing that you're doing so well is more than enough for me." Jay could only nod, a quick glance over at Will and Hailey who gave him a thumbs up.

"How have the other phone calls gone?"

"Oh, they've been amazing. I've talked to the two that got his kidneys, both were here in Iowa at the hospital where Adam was. His heart went to someone in Ohio, a young lady who was working on her medical degree, of all things. His liver went to a mom of four in Nebraska and then there's you, with his precious lungs in Chicago. But everyone has been so sweet, I so appreciate that they were willing to do this. I'm just a crazy momma who said yes for my son. But now having met all of you I know he'd be so happy that all of you were specifically chosen." Jay nodded, still very clueless on where to take this whole conversation. He spoke the first thing that came into his head, not knowing if it was the right thing to do or not.

"Tell me about Adam." Cheryl's face lit up, adjusting in her chair a little as she looked upward. Jay took note of her background, concluding that her house probably looked like every Midwestern grandma's house. The bright, large, 80s style wallpaper on the walls with the extra dark, wide grain table and chair sets that matched the kitchen cabinets. She had studio quality pictures, of what Jay was assuming family members, on her wall. The knickknacks on the counter behind her kind of sealed the deal, this was a woman that everyone loved and wanted to be around.

"Oh gosh, where to begin. He was the sweetest boy I ever raised. Which may be a little skewed since he was my only child." Cheryl laughed at her own joke, making Jay smirk as he allowed her to continue.

"But he loved helping people. He had the biggest heart, which I told his heart recipient that and they laughed. But from a very young age he just had this mindset to always be looking out for others. I can't tell you how many times I would take that boy out, even just going to the grocery store, I'd turn around and he'd be off helping someone pick something up or waving at crying babies. I told him if he ever ran for president he'd win by a landslide because he's probably helped every single one of his voters." Cheryl paused for a moment, taking a sip out of her cat coffee mug before continuing.

"Adam also served in the military. He actually just got back a month or so before the accident, but he completed three tours in Afghanistan before he got the orders to return home. You know, with the whole gradual pull out of that area, his unit was one of the first they called back home." The whole time Jay's eyes were huge, face of total shock and surprise. What were the freaking odds that his donor had a similar background. Talk about a very crazy, surreal moment.

"I served too," Jay half gasped out. Cheryl gasped along with him, clutching her bosom as Jay spoke.

"Rangers, 75th Battalion. I served a long time ago, like ten years ago. But I also did a couple tours in Afghanistan."

"Adam was in the Marines. He took after his father. His father probably served around the time you did. He enlisted right after 9/11. Also Marines, but he saw quite a lot of action. All over Iraq and Afghanistan. My husband actually passed away while serving. It was tough on Adam for a long time, but eventually decided he wanted to take up what his father started. We went through a rough patch, I really didn't want him to enlist but he was so passionate about it that eventually I caved. But I told him he had to come back home and he kept that promise."

"Yeah, my mom was the same way."

"And you kept that promise." Jay could only nod, again still not really sure where to take things. So he was a little caught off guard when Cheryl asked the next question.

"So how was your operation?" Jay stuttered for a moment, not really sure how to answer or what should and should not be included in his story. It was a rather touchy subject, he assumed. But the fact she asked made him think he could answer it honestly.

"It was long, it took a little over ten hours. It started I think after 10am and was done around 8 that night? In all honesty I wasn't aware of any of that part. I got Covid right before, that's actually the whole reason I needed the transplant."

"I'm so sorry to cut you off, but you're the one that was in the news that day? The Chicago detective that successfully underwent the first Covid double lung transplant?" Jay was not aware that he made the news, but not wanting to distract things from the conversation, he just went along with things.

"Yeah, that was me." Cheryl plastered her hands together, hovering them just above her lips as she was trying to cut off the emotions.

"Oh baby, you have quite a story. When I heard about that news story later that day, part of me thought that was who Adam helped. It lined up so perfectly but…they just don't tell you who all is getting what. But it made sense to me and was so fitting. On top of Adam having served, his goal when he got back home was to go through the process of becoming a police officer. He was the biggest crime nut, which is just a horrible thing to say when taken out of context, but he loved crime shows, listened to all the true crime podcasts, he was basically a detective without the badge. So to hear that that was you, that really makes me happy that Adam got to play a role in your story. How did you get Covid?"

"We still don't know. The day before I came down with symptoms we were all out at work, had just gotten the stay at home orders and we all were planning on working from home."

"And then you got sick."

"And then I got sick. I was admitted to the hospital in mid March. I don't remember the exact date. I was put into a medically induced coma, on a ventilator and all kinds of other stuff, and I developed Covid pneumonia which was what ultimately killed my lungs. But I didn't wake up again till a few days after surgery."

"So you were not aware of any of the Covid or transplant till after it was all over."

"Yes."

"Oh my, that's quite a story. Unlike everyone else who was waiting for their transplant, knew it was coming soon. You had no idea at all."

"Yeah, I only know what I know because it was told to me."

"Well, not to take away from what everyone else has been through, because I'd never rate someone else's story to another, but yours is so very special Jay. Are you still in the hospital?"

"Yeah, but I'm hopefully leaving tomorrow." Cheryl nodded, scanning Jay with nothing but love, warmth, like she wished she could reach over and hug him.

"Well baby, you're in my prayers. All of you are. I feel like while I lost a son, I gained so many new family members. Maybe one day when this virus is gone we can all meet up. I'll have you all over for dinner or something. My treat."

"That sounds like a great time," Jay spoke as he nodded.

"Well, I don't want to keep you forever. I'm sure you need your rest and have things to do before you check out. But I wanted to ask one thing and I'm so sorry that this is going to come out wrong or rude but please know I don't mean this in a bad way at all. Anyway, please take care of your lungs. I know, I'm so sorry that that sounds terrible. But what I mean is, Adam would want nothing more than to help you live as long and healthy and happy as possible."

"I would want nothing more then to take extra good care of what you very graciously gave to me," Jay smiled back. Suddenly he didn't want to hang up, he was living for this moment with the kindest person in the world. It was like his mother was back with him, giving him nothing but praise, love, encouragement that he could make it and that all would be well once more. While they may not be related biologically, this sweet lady was now a kindred spirit, a person that was playing a role in his life. In an instant he loved her like he would his own mother.

"Okay, well take care Jay, Thank you again for choosing to speak with me."

"Absolutely, Cheryl. Thank you, for everything." She smiled extra bright, waved to him like he was pulling out of her driveway. A final farewell, another round of warm well wishes, and the first meeting of Cheryl and Jay had come to a close. Jay slowly put the phone flat on the table, trying to wrap his head around the fact that some stranger living in a different state, who was basically the background story of himself, was the one that saved him. It was like two people that never looked out for themselves first were the ones that were ultimately saving each other. The giver helping out another giver; a soldier taking up the baton for his fallen comrade. It was the most perfect way to end Jay's story, or begin the second act of it, however one looked at it. In the timespan of a snap of the fingers, Jay was fully at peace with what happened. He was carrying the life torch of Adam, Cheryl, everyone who played a role in getting him to this exact spot. He knew his mission now, live his life in memory of his donor.

"Are you crying," Will finally chocked up between his own sobs? Will and Hailey had been sobbing since the announcement of Adam's military service. Jay got in a full nod before he totally lost it. Will and Hailey got up, gently hugged Jay as the three of them cried it out. What a finale, what a start, what a journey.