Chapter 6

Lissa had remained for a while, laid out on the bed together, sharing the snacks. Though I wasn't sure just how much of the films they saw, considering the amount of talking they were doing throughout. That coffee had hit Rose's system; she was all but vibrating, talking a mile a minute that I could barely follow. I wasn't even sure she stopped to breathe in between sentences.

Thankfully, the time spent with Lissa had been good for Rose, her moods rising. By the time Lissa had left, I didn't want to ruin what happiness Rose had gained by asking her what was on her mind earlier.

So we remained in silence.

I had offered her food, but she turned it down, still having snacks leftover; I disapproved but didn't push it. My mother would be clutching her heart dramatically if my sisters or I had ever just had chips and chocolate for dinner.

I had felt like things were fine until Janine arrived for her shift. Rose hadn't looked up from her current film, hands constantly tapping against her blanket, a sign of the coffee.

Janine greeted me before turning to Rose, "How are you doing, Rose?" She was still nervous around Rose, learning how to interact with her as a mother. I was glad, for Rose's sake, that she was trying.

"Don't feel like killing anyone so far."

My eyes snapped to Rose. I was used to Rose's sense of humour, but that didn't sound like a joke; her expression appeared bored, eyes still focused on the screen.

Janine and I shared a look.

"That's… good," She finally replied. Janine shifted her weight on her feet, the unease returning, "Will you be sleeping tonight?"

Rose looked pointedly at the large coffee cup on her side table, one that I now wished Lissa hadn't brought her. "Doubt it."

Whatever good mood Lissa's visit had brought was now gone, leaving a very difficult Rose. One that I knew from experience is that was easy to become irritated. I stood, speaking in a calm tone, "Maybe you should try to sleep, Rose."

She flinched at my voice but otherwise didn't react. "I'm good."

Rose wouldn't listen to me; I kept the hurt from my face as my body deflated. I turned to Janine, "Let me know if you need anything," Giving her a pointed look, so she understood to call me regardless of the reason.

As I opened the door, I glanced back at Rose, hoping that she would look up at me one last time, but she didn't move from the laptop. So I left.

It was another night of tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling as I tried to figure out how to get through to Rose.

When I noticed the shadows under her eyes, I knew she was exhausted, but it wasn't until Janine had asked if she would be sleeping that I figured out why. Nightmares. I wished I was there to help her through it.

If she even wanted me there.

I dragged my hand down my face, forcing myself to get out of bed. I wasn't going to sleep anymore now. So again, I found myself running along the wards. Instead of stopping after one lap, I did two more and then headed to the gym.

Tonight was my first shift back patrolling the grounds while the students slept. I was going to feel exhausted in the morning, but I pushed myself to go through some sets of weights in the gym.

This made sense, moving my body to do exercises so ingrained in me that they were like second nature. I didn't need to think, just focused on my breathing and form as I did each set. Whenever I paused, though, I would think of Rose.

Rose before the attack, the striking look in her eye when we had fought as part of the field tests, where she managed to defeat me.

When I had to pin her down in the cabin so she wouldn't run off to hurt Jesse, pleading with her to break through the darkness that had taken hold of her.

The last look we shared as we ran from the cave, the love shining in her eyes.

The first time I saw the red ring glowing from her once warm eyes—only rage and bloodlust in them.

The fear on her face as she sat cowered in her bed, putting as much distance between us as she could.

I missed the way she used to look at me, the way she had that night in the cabin. That night, for those few hours we shared together, it was like the rest of the world had melted away. Our problems and concerns were gone. All we had was each other and our love.

I hadn't realised I had stopped moving, the weights forgotten at my feet. Tears slowly falling down my face.

I missed my Roza so much.

As Stan passed me, I wasn't expecting his look of disdain, gritting my teeth when he directed it at Rose. "Good luck with her. She's been an absolute delight."

His comment was unexpected, but at the same time, I wasn't surprised, considering how Rose was when I left the night before. I turned to Rose with a questioning look only to catch her with the middle finger aimed at Stan's back as he closed the door behind him.

"Rose!" I scolded. She was still on the bed, laptop in front of her; it was like she hadn't moved since last night.

"What? He was a dick." Rose shrugged, not sparing me a glance, dragging her finger along the mouse pad of the laptop.

Maybe my lack of sleep affected me, or just that I was reacting to her mood, but my control was at its limit. I was across the room and at her bed in a second, closing the laptop and picking it up so she couldn't take it back.

Anger apparent in her voice, she glared at me, "What the fuck Dimitri?"

I placed the laptop on her desk, turning to face her. "What is wrong with you?"

"I was fine until you took away my only entertainment. What crawled up your ass and died?"

I took a deep breath, bringing myself back under control; yelling wasn't going to get me anywhere. "I understand you are upset right now, but that doesn't mean -"

I had hit a nerve. She looked at me incredulously, cutting me off. "Upset? I'm not upset, I'm fucking mad, but it doesn't matter what I think, right? I'm just the prisoner here."

I softened my gaze, hoping to soothe her, "Rose, you aren't a prisoner."

"Sure as hell feels like I am. I'm stuck in this room, constantly watched. And I can hear you all whispering about me in the hallway, by the way! Just admit that you don't trust me already!" Her voice became louder, her rage growing.

I tried to reason with her, to explain why things were this way, "Rose, it's not that we don't trust you."

"Oh right, it's for my safety, right?" Rose was reaching a breaking point. I took a step towards her, but she leapt from the bed, avoiding me. "Forget about it."

Panic gripped me, scared to let her out of my sight. "Rose, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to shower. Can I have some privacy to do that, or do you want to watch that too?" She glared at me, words dripping with contempt. I froze.

Rose slammed the door, leaving me outside. I held my breath, waiting for her to reemerge from the bathroom. I didn't want to listen, wanting to give her her privacy, but I strained my ears to hear anything that sounded like she was hurting herself again.

After pacing the room, waiting for Rose, I eventually slumped in the wooden chair by her desk. I had returned the laptop to her bed, regretting my actions. If she truly felt like a prisoner here, then I had just taken away the only thing she had that made her feel less so. I pushed her just because I wasn't able to keep my own emotions in check.

My head was resting in my hands when the bathroom door opened; I sat up, eyes searching for hers. My breath caught, taking in the sight of her before me, wrapped in just a towel.

Her expression was dull, withdrawn. The puffiness of her cheeks made me wonder if she had been crying. Rose didn't look at me, standing in the bathroom doorway.

"Rose," I started, but she cut me off.

"Can you leave?"

My heart clenched.

"I need to get dressed," Her eyes down at her feet, "Can I have some time?"

I nodded, reluctantly walking across the room, "I'll get you something to eat."

She didn't respond, not moving from her spot. And I felt my heart plummet in my chest.

Rose didn't speak to me after I had returned with food either, nor did she return to watching movies. Instead, she sat on her bed, staring blankly ahead as she picked at her food. When I had tried talking to her, to apologise, she shook her head.

"Not now, Dimitri."

Her voice sounded empty.

After eating a small amount of what I brought, Rose laid down, rolling to face the wall rather than me.

When I couldn't take the silence anymore, I approached her bed, hand hovering above her shoulder. As I peered over her still form, I discovered her sleeping, curled up in a ball as if trying to console herself even in her sleep.

Careful not to wake her, I pulled her blanket from under her and covered her with it. My fingers grazed the loose strands of her hair, brushing back the ones that had fallen into her face. "I'm sorry, Roza."

When Janine had arrived for her shift, Rose still hadn't stirred; with a quick goodnight to her, I was gone. I was glad that Rose at least got a couple of hours sleep while I was in the room; I only hoped that she could sleep through the night.

My weariness from our fight was still weighing me down, and with my lack of sleep, I felt dead on my feet. Though I was sure, I wouldn't have been able to sleep regardless.

Rose was still running through my mind as I walked the school's grounds, watching for any threats. Granted, with the sun shining above me, the only danger was students breaking curfew.

I couldn't keep my mind from straying. Over and over, Roza's words played.

I'm just the prisoner here.

Just admit that you don't trust me already!

I loathed that that was how Rose perceived it. That weㅡthat Iㅡhad let her feel that way.

And I couldn't blame her for thinking so. We had locked her in a room and given her around the clock supervision. At first, it was to make sure she was safe, and it still is, but we hadn't allowed her any freedom. Even her food choices were limited until yesterday.

She wasn't a prisoner, but we were treating her that way, all because we didn't even know what to do.

I know some of the guardians that were there that night still held some doubt that Rose was a dhampir again, but they hadn't been given a chance to see her since. Anyone could take one look at Roza and know that she was no longer that dark, undead creature.

No, Roza was pure light.

And we were slowly snuffing out what was left of her.

By the time I had returned to my room, in the early morning hours, I had tired myself enough that I had all but fallen into bed and passed out.

My dreams were filled with brown eyes full of sorrow. Sometimes I would see Rose, but her back was to me, never turning around even when I cried out for her, begging her. She never looked back at me.

I was surprised to pass Stan in the staff break room; there was still another hour before I was meant to switch places with him.

I had managed to get a couple of hours sleep in, more than I had in a while. Waking up with a determination to do something to help Rose, to improve her situation. And to apologise.

I had learnt from past experiences, do not approach a disgruntled Rose without some kind of food as an offering. I was too late to drop by the main cafeteria; it was past breakfast now. So I was hoping the staff room still had a couple of treats left.

I approached him after grabbing the last two doughnuts, placing them in a bag. "Is Guardian Hathaway still with Rose this morning?" I asked, keeping the worry already growing out of my tone.

Stan glanced up at me for a second before looking back at his book, "Didn't Alberta tell you? Hathaway has those new guardians watching her."

"New guardians?" I ran through who he could be talking about. Which new hires would Alberta trust with Rose?

"Yeah, the ones that came with that Moroi. I don't know who, though. All I care about is I get my mornings back."

I turned away before he finished, quickly leaving the room and heading straight to the guest accommodation. A panic building in me at the notion of new guardians staying with Rose, ones that even Stan didn't know. The only reason I could think of for them arriving made my blood run cold. Has the Royal Court found out about Rose?

While we were still trying to figure out our next steps with Rose, Court would no doubt lock her away if they perceived her as a threat. I couldn't let that happen to Roza.

Marching through the front entrance of the building, I hadn't made it far before coming face to face with Alberta and Janine. Neither were surprised to see me.

"I'm assuming you spoke to Alto?" Alberta asked calmly. Both kept their expression guarded; I know mine was struggling to stay impassive.

"He said new guardians were watching Rose," I prompted, reminding myself I was talking to my boss and couldn't just start demanding answers.

"They belong to her father. I trust she will be safe with them," Janine explained. I felt my eyes widen in surprise; I hadn't met Rose's father, Rose hadn't even known who he was, and now he was here. Janine turned to Alberta, "I should get back to them."

She had made it a couple of steps before Alberta looked back at me, shifting her weight. Something about her expression worried me. "There's something else, Belikov."

My stomach dropped to my feet. I wasn't going to like this.

"Rose has requested that no one visit her from now on," Her eyes softened, "including you."

I swallowed, a lump forming in my throat. "Are you sure?"

"She specifically requested it."

It was like the floor was falling away from under my feet. Everything I had been fearing would happen has. Rose didn't want me near her, pushing me away. "She shouldn't be distancing herself from people," I defended, part of me hoping that Alberta would agree with me.

That was when I realised why she had moved before telling me this; she now stood in the way, blocking me from venturing further towards Roza's room.

"Rose has requested this, and her parents have agreed. There's nothing I can do, Belikov." I'm sorry was left unspoken, her expression showing me that she didn't agree with Rose cutting herself from others any more than I did. But she also wasn't going to let me through.

I stood still, my feet unwilling to walk away from Rose. Was this because of our fight last night? Had I pushed her too far, and now she won't let me see her. I've lost her again.

"I'll let you know if she changes her mind."

It was a dismissal.

Numbly I turned on my heel, leaving the building, moving on autopilot. I was a couple of feet from the main entrance when I stopped. My emotions were becoming too much, my fist flying out to the object closest to me. The skin on my knuckles was scratched and bruised from the impact with the brick wall, a small amount of dust and sand falling away from the brick I hit.

My hand dropped listless to my side; I turned and slid down the wall to the ground. It was the middle of classes, so there were no students out, and with this being the guest accommodation, very few students or guardians ventured this far.

I usually wouldn't let my emotions take hold of me in a public space, but I felt drowned in them, unable to hold back anymore.

I had lost Roza again. And this time by her choice.

Staring down at my now injured hand, I didn't move until I heard footsteps approaching me.

Praying that it wasn't Alberta, I glanced up. Surprised to find myself face to face with Zmey.

Dimitri just can't catch a break.
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