Chapter 7

I ended up falling asleep, leaning against Dimitri's shoulder. Dr Olendzki warned me that I would be tired for a couple of days, considering I had a concussion and was still recovering from the car accident.

I woke after the plane had landed to a blanket draped over me and Dimitri's arm around my shoulders, holding me against his chest. I didn't want to move, enjoying the warmth of him and hearing his steady heartbeat.

"Rose," I felt his breath against my ear, lips pressing against my hairline. "Roza, it's time to wake up."

There wasn't anything special about this moment, but it filled me with joy. It was such a simple thing, Dimitri waking me up, but he did it so gently, so lovingly. It made my heart feel like it was going to burst. Opening my eyes to gaze up at him, that smile on his face again.

It was perfect.

But then there was a clearing of a throat beside us. Abe.

"Shall we?" He gestured to the exit; the plane was almost empty now.

I noticed my mother had also remained on the plane, eyes studying me. I reluctantly drew back from Dimitri; he stood from his seat and then offered a hand to me. Always a gentleman.

There were more guardians outside, along with multiple black SUVs. Caleb was standing at the middle one, holding the back door open. Dimitri led me towards it with a hand on my lower back. Climbing in, I found Lissa in the back seat already waiting and Chelsy in the front seat.

Once Dimitri and I were seated, Caleb climbed in behind the wheel, "To the hospital," he glanced at me in the rearview mirror before taking off.

We drove in a formation, Lissa heavily protected even in the Royal Court. Though knowing how Tatiana had died, the risks to the Queen were more than just Strigoi.

I turned to Lissa, "Do you always have this many guardians?"

"I often have six with me at all times, sometimes more." At my raised eyebrow, she laughed, "Rose, if you had your way, I would have more."

I scoffed, fully believing that. Lissa's safety has always been the most important thing to me. At least until a certain someone came along. I glanced at Dimitri from the corner of my eye.

He had explained that he was Christian's primary guardian, having only one assigned to him due to living in the palace, and when Lissa was here, Christian had the Royal Guards. It was the best of both worlds, really; we both kept our jobs as guardians, and I was with Lissa, but then we could still see each other.

I was unsure how much we saw each other considering Lissa and I lived an hour away, but it must be enough that I have clothes at his place.

As we drove through Court, I glanced out the windows. It looked the same, really, but still so unfamiliar. It wasn't home, but neither was the academy anymore.

I was worried that even the house I lived in with Lissa wouldn't feel like home.

I felt displaced, thrown completely out of any comfort zone I had, and there were all these people that I didn't know that regarded me as a friend or colleague. Luckily, I had Dimitri and Lissa with me.

But even they weren't the same as I remembered; both of them had more weight on their shoulders. Dimitri had shadows in his eyes that weren't there before. And Lissa held herself differently, more confident, an air to her that made everyone take notice.

It was all different.

After a couple of scans and many questions and prodding, I was deemed okay to go home. We weren't told anything different than what Dr Olendzki had said.

They told me it was retrograde amnesia and it was most likely caused by the head trauma I sustained in the accident. I was to take it easy for a couple of days and not strain myself. They seemed fairly optimistic that my memories would return but were vague on how long it would take.

Sending me off with the suggestions of meditating and being around things that might jog my memory.

None of it gave me any confidence.

By the time we were done, my mood was low. While Dimitri was in the room with me talking to the doctors, Lissa waited in another room with Chelsy and Caleb.

Just my luck, my parents had also joined the group. As soon as I stepped foot into the room, my mother started questioning me.

"What did they say?"

I managed to keep the irritation off my face when I answered her, "Same stuff we already know." There was a tense atmosphere in the room but also melancholy. I shifted on my feet, uncomfortable.

"I see," She looked at me, then back at Abe, "You must be tired. Your father and I thought it would be best if you came to stay with us. We have an apartment not far from here."

I looked at her in disbelief. I wasn't sure what kind of relationship we had before I lost my memories, but currently, there wasn't much of one between us. My mother and I had come to an understanding after Spokane, but not enough of one for me to want to stay with them.

I shifted my feet again, crossing my arms, "No thanks."

Janine's eyebrows furrowed, "And why not?" There was some annoyance in her expression but also a tiny amount of sorrow.

"Because I don't really know you," At my words, her sorrow grew, but then it was quickly wiped from her face, eyes becoming stern.

"We are your parents. You know us, Rosemarie."

"I know you a little," I told her pointedly, nodding towards Abe, " and I barely know him. I'm going to stay with Dimitri." I told them firmly. I hated all the eyes we had on us; I didn't need the people I worked with to see me fight with my mother.

Janine visibly bristled, "I don't think it is the best idea -"

"Why not?" I cut her off, "We are together."

"You don't remember that, Rose."

My anger was building, not just because my mother didn't trust me to make my own choices, but she obviously didn't trust Dimitri either.

"I think it would be best for Rose to stay with me, Guardian Hathaway," Dimitri stepped up to my side, his voice calm, "They said she should be around things that are familiar to her. It could help her regain her memories."

My mother wanted to argue more, but surprisingly Abe agreed with Dimitri, "Dimitri is right, Janine. He will keep an eye on Rose, and we can see her tomorrow."

While I wasn't a fan of Abe, this made me like him a little, even more so because he managed to get Janine to agree with him. To say it was awkward after that was an understatement. I was thrilled to say my goodbyes and follow Dimitri out of the hospital.

It wasn't until we were outside that I turned to him, "Does she just not like you?"

The corner of his mouth twitched, "There have been some disagreements in the past." I wanted to ask, but from the clench in his jaw, I knew he didn't want to dwell on it. So I bit my tongue.

I wasn't sure where we were going, so I silently trailed behind Dimitri as he led the way. I was moving slower, so he fell into step with me, maintaining the same pace. I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling some of my nerves returning.

I didn't know how we would usually interact here, sure my friends and parents knew of us, but I remember the stigma about dhampirs couples. While I would be all for walking hand in hand with Dimitri, as I always wished we could at the academy, I wasn't sure if that was allowed.

Or if Dimitri even wanted to.

He's always been a private person, emotions carefully guarded around others; I felt like that would carry over to any romantic feelings or interactions. And so I walked beside him, keeping a small distance between us like we did when we were still student and mentor.

I could feel his eyes on me, but I kept mine on the ground.

Thankfully it wasn't a long walk, I wasn't paying too much attention to the area around us, but I knew his apartment building was on a somewhat busy street. We took the elevator up to the fourth floor. So far, nothing has triggered any memories.

At least the building looked clean and was somewhat new.

I entered the apartment after him, Dimitri holding the door open for me. It was nearing the end of the Moroi day, early rays of the sunrise peeking in through the windows, giving the room a light glow.

It was a simple set-up, not too big of a space. It was very Dimitri.

The kitchen and lounge room shared the same area but was still large enough not to feel cramped. It was clean and organised, with some personal belongings throughout, a large bookcase against the wall, the television with DVDs lining the shelves underneath it.

I noticed photos frames placed throughout, some of his family and some of us. I picked up one of the two of us standing with his family. It was bizarre and a little unsettling to see me in a photo I had no memory of being a part of. At least we all looked happy.

"That's from the Christmas after I was restored. Paul said it was the best Christmas present he had ever been given." Dimitri told me, a fondness in his tone.

I smiled, tracing the photo with my finger; I loved the time I got to spend with Dimtri's family. I missed how Olena had treated me, the kindness she gave me. "Do we get to see them much?"

"Every Christmas since I was restored, we make the trip and stay for a couple of weeks."

I could feel despair growing in me, wishing I could remember those visits. Remember what it was like when his family saw him standing there, alive. I bet they had one hell of a party.

I returned the photo with a sigh, moving through the rest of the room. There was an open door that I looked to Dimitri for permission before entering. It was his bedroom.

It was less organised in here, clothes on the bed and draws opened like he had left in a rush.

"Sorry for the mess. I wanted to leave straight away once I knew what happened." He explained, quickly tidying up. I watched as he fixed up the draws and opened the wall closet on the right side of the room to put away the clothes. The two doors swung open to reveal his clothes, casual wear, and uniforms neatly lining the racks on one side. On the other were women's clothes.

Assuming that Dimitri didn't just have some other woman's clothes in his closet, these must be mine. I stood before them, running my hands along the outer edge.

None of them looked familiar, but they did at least look like something I would wear. It was nice to know that my style hadn't changed.

"The bathroom is through there if you want to shower or to change," He pointed to the door beside the closet. I was glad he understood that I would be a bit shy to change in front of him. At my nod, he turned and went to the dresser, opening a draw and retrieving what looked like pyjamas. "These are your favourite to sleep in," He told me, handing them to me.

It was a pair of shorts and a faded shirt with Russian words on it. It must be one of Dimitri's. I gave him a grateful smile, "Thanks."

"Are you hungry? Did you want anything?"

Despite how much I had on the plane, I was still starving. "Food would be great."

He grinned, "You get changed, and I'll order something to eat. And then we can talk if you want?"

I eagerly nodded. I had a lot of questions.

Once Dimitri had left the room, closing the door behind him, I decided to do a little more exploring. Opening the draws on the dresser, looking in each one. I had two of the five draws, a selection of items.

Next, I looked in the bathroom, everything was arranged neatly, most being Dimitri's things, but there was a second toothbrush, a hairbrush, deodorant and perfume set to the side. Finding more things I believe was mine in the draws. It was strange to go through Dimitri's personal space like this, though I had to remind myself, this was mine as well.

I quickly stripped and changed into the outfit Dimitri had given me. I understood why they were my favourite; they were extremely comfortable, the material soft against my skin. I brushed my hair and then used one of the hair ties I found to tie my hair up.

As I was pulling it up away from my neck, a mark drew my attention. I turned in the mirror until I could see the back of my neck, my eyes widening. There were so many marks there now. And there nestled in between the molnija marks was my promise mark.

I was still shocked to see how many molnijas I had; the amount easily doubled from what I had previously.

I still had my hand on my neck as I joined Dimitri in the living area. Putting down his phone, he glanced up at me, "I ordered Chinese," His eyes narrowed in concern, "Does your neck hurt?"

I point to my neck, "When did I become such a badass?"

It took a moment for him to understand what I was referring to, chuckling to himself, "Rose, you have always been talented."

"I see why they want me back guarding Lissa. I really must be one of the best," I joked. It was always easy for me to fall back on my cocky attitude. But from the look of pride in Dimitri's eyes, I wondered if it wasn't just me talking myself up.

I ducked my head, choosing to take another look around the apartment. The closer I looked, the more I noticed bits and pieces that didn't belong to Dimitri. Such as some books on his shelves, a couple of photos of Lissa and me.

"So, how often do I stay here?" I asked, thumbing the titles of the books, finding my animal behaviour science textbooks among them. The first thing I actually recognised.

"Twice a month, Lissa will come back to take part in meetings and such. You and I get most of the weekend off and would catch up." He had crossed the room, lowering himself to the blue couch, giving me space to explore.

Staring at him, the way his knee kept bouncing, his hands fidgeting, I realised that he was nervous as well. Then, it occurred to me that this situation was just as hard for Dimitri as it was for me. While I didn't remember what happened between us, he did. He remembers it all, but now he is with a woman that was no longer the same person.

A lot can happen in three years, and I didn't know how much I had changed from an eighteen-year-old that had been hunting her lover across Russia.

Hell, even just in the time between him finding us in Portland and when he was taken in that cave, I had changed.

I collapsed on the couch beside him, sighing. "This is weird, isn't it?"

His smile was tight, "Maybe a little." He reclined back, relaxing in the cushions, turning to face me. "What did you want to talk about?"

I hesitated for a second before reaching for him, taking his hand in mine, tracing the lines of his palms before threading my fingers through his. "Can I do this? In public, I mean. Can I hold your hand, or do we not do that?"

He squeezed my fingers with his, "Yes, you can, and often you do a lot more. You enjoy making me flustered, and I enjoy seeing you smile."

"Sounds like something I would do."

I kept my eyes on his hand, unsure to ask my next question. There was a lot I wanted to know, a lot of missing time to cover, but all I wanted to know was what happened after I tried to escape. Obviously, I didn't die, and I didn't end up killing Dimitri, but I didn't know how we went from me jumping out that window to Dimitri being restored.

I held myself back from asking because I didn't think he would want to discuss those days.

Sensing my inner turmoil, Dimitri shifted closer to me on the couch, "Rose, you can ask anything, and I will do my best to answer you."

"After I jumped out of the window," I started before my confidence could leave me, "What happened?"

A look of shame and guilt crossed his face, eyes darkening, but he wasn't surprised by the question. He held on tight to my hand; I wasn't sure if it was for my comfort or his. He took a deep breath to steady himself, "You escaped into the maze. I was chasing after you, taunting you. But you figured the way out and ran into the forest that was nearby, heading towards the town. I caught up to you a couple of times, but you kept getting away until you reached a bridge.

"Both of us knew you couldn't take me, and so you… threatened to jump off the bridge. If you fell, you would have died. I was still determined to turn you, and I knew that if you did that, then I would have lost you." His voice was flat, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice, but I could hear the strain. "You asked me why I wanted to turn you, why I wanted you." A listless smile crossed his face. "I said the wrong answer."

I remembered my moment of realisation before I had the courage to escape. He always said he wanted me, but never that he loved me. Dimitri wasn't looking at me, eyes unfocused, staring at the wall in front of us. I leant against him, our shoulders brushing, "What did I do?"

He turned to me, eyes glistening, "You climbed over the railing and let go."

I inhaled sharply.

"I managed to catch you and pulled you back just enough." His hand came up to rub at his chest, continuing in a low voice. "Then you staked me, and I fell off the bridge."

I felt my blood run cold. I had staked him. I had staked Dimitri.

I knew I had made up my mind, knowing in my heart that that wasn't Dimitri anymore, and I needed to save his soul. But I was never sure I could go through with it. "If I staked you… How?"

"You missed the heart."

A laugh bubbled out, quickly shutting my mouth to cut off the sound, "Sorry. It's just…." After all of that, I really did fail, but with Dimitri sitting before me now, I was happy I did. "If I didn't miss, you wouldn't be here."

"I know, Roza." The shadows in his eyes stood out in contrast to the small smile he gave me. I wasn't sure if he regretted that I had missed or not. Before I could ask, he continued with the story, "It was after that that you found out about a spirit user that had restored a Strigoi. You returned to the academy and graduated and then moved to Court with Lissa, coming up with a plan to save me."

He was giving me a cliff notes version of the story; I would have to ask Lissa for more details.

"Then, in the end, you saved me, Roza," Dimitri looked at me again. The shadows had receded, leaving an intense look of love, one that I couldn't resist.

I sprung forward, lips locking with his as my arms snaked around his neck, hands burying into his hair. His arms wrapped around me, grip almost desperate as his long fingers splayed out along the planes of my back, one slipping under the hem of my shirt.

His hands pulled me closer, guiding me until I straddled his lap, our lips not breaking contact.

After a couple of minutes, I drew back just enough to breathe, lips an inch away. I held his eyes so he could see my sincerity, my love, my forgiveness. "I love you, Dimitri."

Our fairly steamy, make-out session was put to an end by a knock on Dimitri's door, our food delivered. We switched to other topics as we ate, such as Lissa becoming queen and more of what happened after I was framed. Hearing about the elaborate plan they pulled off to break me out of jail had my eyebrows raised, especially when Dimitri told me of my father's hand in it.

Then Dimitri happened to drop a surprise that I was not ready for.

"Lissa has a half-sister," I was pacing the lounge room, "Jill is Lissa's sister." I had repeated it a couple of times now, but it still wasn't making any sense. Lissa's parents loved each other; I just couldn't imagine Lissa's father doing that. And then there was the whole fact that Tatiana gave that information to me as a dying request. I rounded on Dimitri, "How did I even find her?"

He pulled a face, unsure of continuing, but I stared at him until he did, "Sydney tracked down a relative that we hoped knew where she was."

"And who was the relative?"

"Sonya Karp."

I pulled back, "She's Strigoi."

Dimitri's lips turned up in a smile, "Not anymore."

I had to sit down on the couch again. Miss Karp was restored. "But how? You said Lissa had to stay here and was doing the trials. Who was able to restore her?" A strange look crossed Dimitri's face, and I felt like I wouldn't like this answer.

"Robert Doru."

I was starting to get annoyed by these short answers, "And who is that, comrade?"

"Victor Dashkov's brother. He was also the man that told you and Lissa how to do it."

Victor. I hated hearing his name. The last time I saw him was his trial where he threatened to out Dimitri and me; luckily, no one believed him when he did. "How the hell did I even find that guy?"

There was that look again, "It was part of what you had to do to save me, I don't know all the specifics, but you, Lissa, and Eddie broke Victor out of prison and then he took you to his brother."

I deflated against the couch, rubbing my eyes with the palm of my hands. This was definitely too much. Each question I had just kept leading to more, and I swear it was getting crazier each time. Dimitri had been right about one thing, though; I went through a lot to restore him.

"Roza?" He asked, concern colouring his tone.

"I'm honestly scared to ask what happened after I broke him out of prison."

Silence.

I peeked over at Dimitri; he was staring off again, lost in his memories. "He escaped."

Great, back to two-word replies. I groaned. I released the man that had tortured Lissa and dreamt of leading some revolution and now he is out there somewhere. "We didn't catch him, did we?" I felt so drained, disappointed in my own actions, though because they brought Dimitri back to me, I couldn't bring myself to regret them.

"He's dead, Rose."

I didn't get a chance to see Dimitri's expression as he stood from the couch, busying himself with cleaning up dinner. It was a pretty clear sign that he didn't want to talk about it anymore, and with the headache that was forming behind my eyes, I was happy to let it slide. For now.

I wanted to change the topic, try to break the atmosphere in the room. I glanced towards the bedroom, making me think of how good sleep sounded right now. But that brings up questions of its own and a good amount of nerves.

Fiddling with the hem of my shirt, I asked, "So, comrade?" He hummed in response, moving about in the kitchen, "What's the sleeping arrangement like?" I was glad that we were in different parts of the room, my back to him, so he couldn't see the blush that had taken over my face.

Sure we had had sex, and more, for him at least. But for me, this would be my first time sharing a room with a man. This wasn't like sleeping against him on the plane or squeezed together on the clinic bed. This was different and new.

I didn't hear him approach, jumping in surprise when he crouched before me. His expression was caring, if not a little amused. "I can sleep out here on the couch if you would like, but I would very much like to sleep next to you, Roza."

There he goes, being all cool and confident again as I melt like putty from his words. I nodded, "I would like that too."

His answering smile was large and perfect, making my breath catch. He stood, hand held out to pull me from the couch. The smile never left his face as he led me to the bedroom.