Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries - the original books were written by L J Smith and the TV show was developed by Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson. This story is the product of their characters and world and my imagination. Any recognisable lines (verbatim or amended) from Vampire Diaries episodes belong to the writers, not me.

Stefan

Stefan hadn't been back to Klaus' home in three days.

He'd heard the Original and the baby vampire as they'd come home after their evening out, laughing together.

The sounds he'd heard shortly afterward had been unmistakable.

Klaus, it seemed, had finally tempted his new pet into his bed.

And Stefan was being forced to listen to every explicit moment of their first night together.

He'd left as soon as he could, unwilling to hear any more of the two of them.

Usually, he had no such problems. But Klaus' liaisons were, for the most part, brief and fairly meaningless. This thing, whatever it was, with Caroline Forbes was something else entirely, even if Stefan wished he could say otherwise.

The more time that passed, the more likely it seemed that the baby vampire was going to become a permanent fixture in Klaus' life.

It looked like Stefan was going to have to watch his perfect life of speakeasies, blood and the sweet smell of fear vanish all because of the presence of a little blonde menace who didn't have the decency to bleed out before Klaus arrived to save her.

When he finally returned to Klaus' home, neither the Original or the baby vampire seemed to have realised he'd ever been gone.

They weren't too obvious with their affection, but there was an intimacy that Stefan couldn't avoid noticing.

It drove him crazy.

Even worse, he couldn't avoid Caroline as easily now. She no longer kept mostly to the library and her bedroom, instead roaming into any room in the house bar Stefan's bedroom.

He didn't pay any attention to the baby vampire's little moralistic rants.

He didn't.

But she was a little too good at making herself heard and entirely unwilling to back down from an argument.

Besides, Klaus liked to debate with her, indulged her little rants about the sanctity of life.

Stefan couldn't help but overhear.

So, maybe he did pay attention.

However, that didn't mean he agreed with her.

Not at all.

"I see you finally fucked Klaus," Stefan noted caustically, when Klaus had gone out and left him and Caroline alone in the library.

The baby vampire looked suddenly furious and embarrassed at the same time, "go away, Stefan."

"I don't think I will," he couldn't help but taunt her, although he knew Klaus would probably make him pay for it later.

"What is your problem!" she demanded, "I know you hate me – that's fine, I don't like you either – so why can't you just stay away?"

"I was here first," he reminded her, "and I'll be here long after you're just a memory."

Something flashed across her face briefly, a fleeting show of vulnerability just itching to be exploited.

"Klaus doesn't care," he continued, knowing he was crossing a line but feeling too irritated to censor himself, "you're just a toy, a plaything, a game."

She blurred forward and slapped him hard, the force of her blow making his head snap to the side.

He growled, baring his teeth as instinct pushed him to attack her. He managed to hold back, though, knowing there were some things Klaus would not forgive.

She took a step back, anger contorting her features, tears glittering on her eyelashes, and he felt …

He felt guilty.

Without another word, Stefan fled.

Stefan took refuge in his own apartment.

Not that it would help if Klaus came looking for him. He had no doubt that the Original knew the address, even if he'd never visited. Klaus made it his business to know things that could be useful to him.

He decided that he'd look through his list.

There was no harm in that. He was bored and he didn't really keep much else in his apartment. He needed something to keep him occupied and out of Klaus' sight for a day or two.

Besides, his list was something to be proud of, a full record of his many exploits.

Nothing at all to worry about.

-x-x-x-

Elizabeth Anderson.

Just a name. A simple name.

But it began a chain reaction.

The remembrance of a shy smile, chestnut hair, kind eyes.

He had ripped her apart without a second thought.

No, no, no, no.

He didn't care. He had never cared, except in those brief, weak moments of regret.

Humans were fodder. They were a source of blood and entertainment. They were the delectable scent of fear, that little sliver of hope in their eyes that they might escape him, a feeling he took great pleasure in watching fade away as reality set in.

Everything had been fine before the baby vampire had arrived. Now, Stefan couldn't think straight, couldn't enjoy his life the way he had before.

He needed a drink.

-x-x-x-

One drink turned into two, which turned into eight.

Which then turned into a drink of a non-alcoholic sort.

Which then spiralled into a very messy situation.

Stefan's vampire life had never really been one of moderation.

-x-x-x-

When he came back to himself, he was in the bedroom he used at Klaus' house, hands sticky with partly dried blood.

The baby vampire was sat across from him, anger and confusion and sorrow warring with each other on her face.

"Where's Klaus?" he asked.

"Cleaning up," she told him shortly, "you left a bit of a mess."

Probably an understatement, if his past exploits were anything to go by.

"I'm not sorry," he hissed, "they're just food."

He didn't actually remember much of the last day. A haze of alcohol and blood and screams.

She only shook her head, "I think you are sorry, Stefan. Somewhere, deep down, there's a part of you that hates what you do."

He almost laughed. How could she be this naïve, this ridiculously hopeful?

"You're looking for something that doesn't exist," he said coldly, "this is what being a vampire is, Caroline," he spat her name out like it was poison, "it doesn't matter what pretty little stories Klaus tells you about travelling the world and experiencing new things, it all comes down to blood in the end, and one day you'll have to accept that."

He expected her to get angry, maybe to even try and attack him, but she just seemed tired, "you know, that's a very sad kind of mindset."

Stefan bristled. There was nothing sad about him. He had blood and …

And what? he thought to himself, what do you really have besides the blood?

Klaus was the only person he saw with any regularity. And while he was sure the Original knew his entire life story, they didn't really share much beyond a few bloody tales. They enjoyed a convenient kind of friendship, one Stefan had been willing to defend when Klaus had found his baby vampire, but if he was honest then he had to acknowledge that he didn't know how long it would last.

Klaus had properties all over the world, he had acquaintances and minions and even the occasional friend, he had a family he rarely spoke of but clearly loved, he had interests other than the pursuit of blood. And he had Caroline too, and seemed determined to keep her forever.

What did Stefan have?

An addiction to blood, a Ripper nature that made it hard to put down roots, a brother he no longer spoke to, an estrangement from his friend Lexi.

What do I have? What do I have? What do I have?

No, no, no, he didn't want this.

He didn't want to feel.

All he could see were the bodies he'd left behind, the pain he had caused, the blood.

So much blood.

When he looked up, Caroline was gone.

And, when he touched his cheek, he felt the dampness of one single, solitary tear.

Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it.

The final chapter, from Caroline's POV, should hopefully be out some time in the next week.