I do not own the Fullmetal Alchemist

'Is this really necessary?' Ed grumbled as he tugged on a green hoodie. He was used to wearing his trademark red coat and doubted Mustang had a sense of fashion. He tried to hide the cuts on his arm when he was changing, luckily, no one had noticed.

'Do you want to be signing autographs through the whole mission?' Mustang was wearing a purple trench coat that looked as bright as fresh paint.

'Speak for yourself,' Ed snapped. 'This mirror could just crack at the sight of you!'

Before the two could bicker back and froth, Hawkeye interrupted them, walking in from the women's room. 'We have to look poor.' She was wearing a wool shawl and dirty jeans. She wore a pair of thin glasses on her nose. A worn and innocent-looking handbag concealed a gun. The two alchemists cringed as she slung it over her shoulder. 'And the killer targets blonde people around our ages, Edward,' she said as she tied her straight his in a ponytail instead of its usual bun. 'So blend in.'

'Yes ma'am!' The two nodded with terrified looks in their eyes.

Hawkeye nodded in return. 'You two look lovely, by the way,' she added, a hint of humor in her voice.

'Wha-'

'No we don't!'

Hawkeye smiled as she walked outside, the boys fumbling to anxiously look at their reflections again.

Ed yanked the rubber band out of his hair, a tangled sheet of gold scattered over his shoulders. Mustang's usual gloves were stowed in his trouser pocket. He didn't look too pleased with the clothes options like Ed.

'When was the last time you touched a comb?' Mustang asked.

'When was the last time you took off your gloves?' Ed snapped. 'I can see food stains on them.'

'You look like a melting snowman,' he retorted.

You look like you're going to preform at a circus,' Ed growled.

Mustang chuckled in his clown-like glory. 'Still better with some height, don't you agree, pipsqueak?'

'DON'T CALL ME THAT!'

Ed's attacks were rendered useless as Mustang held the him back with one hand on fuming teenager's forehead, his elbow locked as Ed threw punches at him.

Hawkeye entered the room and the two males immediately stopped what they were doing. Her eyes ran over their disguises as they stood perfectly still.

'Uh, Lieutenant,' Mustang began.

'We have to get going in one hour,' she said as if she hadn't just seen them acting like children. 'This looks enough to fit in with the other people. Get going, you two. And behave.' Her steely tone alone was enough to make the two stiffen and squeak.

'Yes ma'am!'

Mustang breathed a sigh of relief after Hawkeye left.

Ed grunted. 'We look like idiots.'

'Takes one to know one,' he muttered. Ed glared at him. 'Let's go, Fullmetal.'

/

By the time the three were halfway on the way to the train station, Hughes had just about turned Ed into roadkill by running him and his "mother" and "uncle" through tests. Not only that, but they had borrowed a cat from Al. Ed didn't think the cat would last two days with him, neither did Dahlia as she hissed at him warningly when he was within reach of her. In the end, Hawkeye held the cat in the passenger seat. Dahlia purred as she scratched behind her ears, already trusting her enough that she was dozing in her arms.

'And remember the time when your good neighbor Mellie brought her Doberman girl over to your house and-'

'And our Siamese cat Dahlia ran out through the window,' Ed said in a monotone voice. 'And that's the story we use in case she goes missing during the mission.'

'Yep!' Hughes chirped. 'So, what grade are you in, Charlie?'

'Eight.' Ed rolled his eyes, staring out of the window. He wondered how mad Al would be when he heard they'd actually planned on using one of his precious cats as a spy weapon, the camera was already disguised as a name tag that hung from Dahlia's collar. Well, if Al ever found out. Hopefully they wouldn't get her killed and they wouldn't find out how mad he could get for a while.

'And how did you get automail?' Hughes interrogated cheerfully.

'I was trapped in a collapsed building during Ishval. My- my father was killed, and my mom and uncle saved me.'

Hughes nodded. 'Correctamundo! And you, Mr Thomas Jacobs? Ms Rhiley Jacobs? Why did the two of you decide to move to South Pebble?'

'Because this mission's gonna go south,' Ed muttered.

'Because we were evicted from our home due to financial issues,' Hawkeye answered.

'And this town could be an easier place for us to get back on our feet,' Mustang added. 'And Charlie has to stay smart so we used some of our remaining money to enroll him in school.'

'I'm smart already,' Ed growled.

Hughes laughed. 'That's great, everyone. Now, do you all want to guess what my angel Elicia said just this morning?'

Everyone in the car groaned "no".

The car finally arrived at the station. Ed jumped out instantly, trying to avoid Hughes's story unsuccessfully.

'And that's what she said after Gracia told her she could make her breakfast in bed when she was older!'

The undercover family walked away, Hawkeye holding Dahlia in a cage. The car had not been a military car so they could stave off attention, Mustang's team had had fun disguising it to look old with dirt and scratches. A large dent in the bumper screamed for attention as the three walked away from people staring at the giant dent. When they arrived on the train, all the other passengers seemed to want to avoid the three, wrinkling their noses at their scruffy old-looking clothes. When they'd finally found a place to sit, Ed had passed out after minutes.

Hawkeye and Mustang's eyes watched the teenager sleep, his head rested against the window. Quietly so she didn't wake him, Hawkeye scooped Dahlia out of her cage and set it beside Ed. The cat seemed to like her immediately, so affectionate with her that Black Hayate would've been jealous.

Without either of them needing to speak, Mustang and Hawkeye took turns sleeping through the train ride, one dozed off while the other was alert and awake in case something bad happened. Ed slept through the whole time.

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