December 28, 1889

Cora didn't like the cold, but there was something nice about walking through the snow. For a short period, at least.

The snow came just before Christmas, blanketing Downton Abbey and its grounds in a thick layer of pristine powder. It had started to melt a bit, and the groundskeepers had shoveled some of the walks. Cora and Robert did their morning walks with Norman each day, of course, and it had been quite pleasant the last few days.

But now it was afternoon. Just after tea, in fact, and the sun was starting to dip in the sky, it being winter and dark early in the evenings. Plenty of time before the dressing gong, however, and Cora was in desperate need of escape from the house.

"I'm sorry you're stuck being the odd one out."

She turned to Marmaduke walking beside her, and she gave a gentle smile. "I think we're both the odd ones out, but perhaps me more so than you. I'm still a novelty, I suppose."

He chuckled at that. "You're right about that. Though I doubt the novelty will wear off anytime soon. For either of us, in fact."

Cora regarded her brother-in-law curiously. "May I ask you something quite personal?"

"You may. Though I reserve the right to decline to provide an answer."

"That's fair," she conceded with a small laugh.

"What is it you'd like to ask me?"

She braced herself for his reaction. "Is loving Rosamund worth the grief that Mama and all the rest give you?"

Marmaduke hesitated. "May I be quite frank with my answer?"

"Of course."

"It would not be worth it if she did not love me in return."

Cora felt her heart drop into her stomach. "I see," she responded stiffly.

"I know that's a rather cruel thing to say to you, Cora, and I am sorry for that. I'm sorrier than you know," Marmaduke said.

She stopped in her tracks. "What do you mean by that?"

"I perhaps should not speak out of turn…"

Cora felt the panic start to well up inside her. "No, you must explain. Please, Marmaduke. I'll go mad if you don't tell me!" she exclaimed, hysteria growing in her voice.

"No, no, none of that," he blustered.

It seemed that despite his more modest background than the Crawleys and other members of the peerage, Marmaduke possessed the same English distaste for Cora's American displays of emotion.

"I only meant that I had a conversation surprisingly similar to this with Robert on the night before your wedding."

"You did?"

"I asked him why he could not love you and if he might fall in love with you over time."

Cora's gaze fell to the slush-covered ground at her feet. "And what did he say?"

"Robert wouldn't like me to say, but I don't know that it's anything you don't know by now. You're a smart girl. I can't imagine you haven't figured it out by now."

She looked back up, imploring quietly, "What did he say, Marmaduke?"

"He assured me that he did not dislike you in the least. He found you attractive and kind and sweet, but he asked me how I could love Rosamund when she has, in his words, so few attractive qualities. I explained to him that I feel something deep in the pit of my soul whenever Rosamund is near. Her laugh is music to me. Her touch excites and calms me all at once. I can sit and talk to her for hours or else sit in her company doing nothing at all and be content. And…"

"And?" Cora prompted.

Marmaduke's shoulders slumped as he was forced to confess words that he obviously did not want to share. "He said he has never felt that way for you."

It stung. Hearing the truth so clearly from another person. But Cora swallowed back the lump forming in her throat. "I know," she said. "I know he does not love me. He never has. And that's alright." The words felt hollow, but Cora wasn't any more upset now than she'd been the last few months. It really was alright. Her life was a wonderful one, and she knew how lucky she was in so many ways.

"For whatever it's worth," Marmaduke said, "when I asked him if he might grow to love you, he said he did not know. Which isn't 'no.'"

Cora gave a sad sort of smile, putting her gloved hand on Marmaduke's arm in thanks. "It really is alright. I don't lay awake at night wishing Robert loved me. Not anymore, at least." She took her hand back and started walking again, heading back towards the house. It was getting a bit too cold, now. "Things between us are…well, actually, they're really quite good," she mused aloud. "We go on our walks each morning with the dog. We dance together at balls and we have tea together. Last month, we went to a concert in York. Robert is a kind man, and I know he wants to make me happy."

Marmaduke nodded. "He takes his duty as a husband quite seriously."

"He does. And I am lucky for that. Many women in my position don't even have that. But I don't think I'd ever be caught up in anything like that."

"No? Your father wouldn't have married you off to the highest-ranking eligible man he could find?" Marmaduke teased.

"You've met my father," Cora reminded him. "He certainly wouldn't have 'married me off' to anyone if it wasn't what I wanted."

"Fathers do tend to give in to whatever their daughters want," Marmaduke said knowingly.

"Is that how Rosamund ended up marrying you?" Cora asked with a smirk of her own.

Marmaduke grinned. "Something like that. Mama was dead set against the match. But we loved each other. I would have done anything to be able to marry her. I actually was able to convince her to choose a house she liked in Eaton Square and I bought it just to show Papa that I could. I knew I could provide for her just as well as the Grantham Estate could, even if I haven't got a title. I vowed I would give her everything she could ever want. At the time, she insisted that all she wanted was me, but of course, that wouldn't convince Mama and Papa. Eventually we wore them down, thankfully. Rosamund is terribly stubborn, and she wouldn't budge."

"A Crawley family trait, I think. Robert digs his heels in about the strangest things sometimes," she laughed.

"I suppose it says something about us that we willingly entered into all that Crawley madness."

"I suppose it does," Cora agreed. "But I think what it really says is that we married for love. Aren't we lucky?"

"Do you feel lucky, Cora?" Marmaduke asked, suddenly turning the conversation serious again.

"I do," she assured him. "I have an incredible life here. I'm lucky for that. But I love my husband very much. Even if he doesn't love me in return, I have the privilege of getting to love him. Getting to be in love. It is a wonderful thing, don't you think?"

"It is," he agreed. "But so is being loved in return."

They were approaching the house again, thankfully, and Cora would be able to escape upstairs to her bedroom to call for Smithson for a warm bath before the dressing gong. She'd come outside with Marmaduke to get away from Mama's constant criticism, but now she was confronted with things she would much rather not think about, much less speak out loud.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you," Marmaduke apologized quietly.

"You haven't," she lied. "I'm not living any tragedy. I'm quite happy enough."

"Happy enough is hardly a good goal to have. And I told Robert the same thing."

"When?"

"When I told him he was a fool for not loving you."

"Robert knows his own mind. He is not a fool for that or any other reason. And I'll thank you to not criticize my husband in such a way," Cora snipped. And at that, she pushed open the door. Carson was there waiting to take her coat and gloves.

Cora practically ran upstairs and rang for Smithson. She removed her own hat and flopped down on the chaise lounge. Hardly ladylike, but what did it matter when she was alone?

Never mind what Marmaduke said, Cora told herself. Happy enough was perfectly good.