Chapter Eleven

Elijah wrapped his daughter in his arms as she cried, he was angrier than he had been in a long time, and yet to see his daughter this broken, broke him in more ways than he had ever felt. He couldn't stand that he had let this happen, he should have been here to protect her, screw Klaus, screw Kathrine, and screw Mikael. He was done letting them control his life, it was hurting his family. He had thought one day that he would forgive Klaus, in spite of everything, now he wasn't so sure he would ever forgive him. His brother's hatred and spirit of evil is what had pulled him away from his daughter for the past few years, they are what had distracted him and made him stay half a world away. If he had been here, Katerina would never have succeeded in what she did. As Elijah held Caroline, he began to sing the song he had sung to her when Regina had been pregnant with her, a lullaby that his mother had sung to him. As he sang Caroline began to try and stop the tears, she hadn't taken in the fact that he was here, her father was in the room with her for the first time in months. She had killed someone, she had become like the Salvatore's, and it had broken her, but here he was, someone who had walked the same path and had found a way to beat it, to stay who he was. Her father was proof that she could do this, he had done it for a thousand years. Caroline then froze, he had done this for a thousand years, lived this life, the amplified emotions, the pain radiating through her as she came to terms with the fact that she had taken a life, with the fact that she has forever now, which means she may never get to meet her mother, she may never get to find peace as a human would. Caroline realized that this was what her father had lived with, this was why his shoulders never seemed to straighten all the way, why his head was always slightly tilted down, why his eyes radiated sadness. Caroline was more afraid than she had ever been, the idea of having forever haunted her, and the thought that she lives off of the life force of other beings made her sick. Most of all though, she hated that her dad had to be here, she knew what it meant. He had been very clear about how close Klaus had been to finding him, it wouldn't be long now. She was putting everyone she loved the most in danger. Her father's song though seemed to quiet her fears, her anxious heart calmed to a normal pace, and her tears began to slow. She didn't have anything to fear, she had him, just as she calmed down, Elijah stopped singing and began to speak.

"Caroline, it's not your fault. This is something that all falls on its creator, the bloodlust, the anger, the emotions, the power, everything it all falls on someone else's shoulders. Especially not for you. You, my dear daughter, didn't choose this, you didn't mean to do what you did, it will never be your fault. The world is a dark place, the supernatural one even darker, and it is full of witches, vampires, and werewolves that have something to prove, Kathrine is one of those. She chose for you, so his death is on her. You will never bear that weight, I swear to you, for as long as I live, Kathrine will pay for her actions, and you will never have anything to fear." Elijah spoke softly as he held his daughter to his chest, he knew what it was like adjusting to just how loud the world was when you had the ability to hear everything, he didn't want to add to it.

"But I killed him, Dad. I took his life, I made it to where he couldn't go home to his family, where he couldn't tell those he loved that he loved them…"

"You couldn't control the curse." Elijah cut his daughter off from saying anymore, softly grabbing her chin and making her look at him before continuing, "Caroline, listen, this curse is a thousand years old, it has gained power, and it has gained support. It can't be controlled when you first bear it, it takes time. No one, and I mean no one, lives as a vampire without failing to control it at least once. The curse eats at your very being, it takes who you are and twists everything until you are a whole other person, it removes your heart, your natural instinct to love and protect fades to dust for the thrill of the hunt. It will never be your fault. The evil that rages from this curse came from its creator."

"But, if I can't control it than it controls me, and if I am a curse, than I am a monster, I am part of the darkness." Caroline replied, tears once again pouring down her face. Her words cut into her father's heart like a knife. He knew that his words would never work, so he pulled the book he had given her from off of her desk and began to flip through it. He knew what page he was looking for, and he knew it would be what needed to be said. Once he found it, he began to read.

Caroline,

My dear and beautiful niece, I cannot believe that I have never gotten to meet you. It breaks my heart that you will have to grow up in a world so far away from the one you were meant to be in. While I am sure my brother's letters have taught you some very important things, it has come to my knowledge that none of them have mentioned the hardest one. You are the daughter of an original vampire, you are growing up in a town that has been known by vampires since the beginning. Whether or not you ever encounter one in person, you will be affected by them. Yet, I know that Elijah has told you that. So, at the risk of my letter being irrelevant to your life, I want to talk to you about if you are ever turned. If you ever stop halfway on the path between life and death, if you become what your family is. Caroline, If or when it happens know that none of it is because of you, it is all formed and fulfilled by fear, fear of losing those we love, fear of death, fear of not being able to prove our power. No matter what anyone tells you as a reason they have turned or have turned you, the truth is that everything they have done has been because of fear. The supernatural world likes to pretend that it is full of powerful people, but it in reality is full of fearful people who didn't want to forget or be forgotten. My mother, your grandmother, began this cycle of fear when out of the fear of losing another child she broke the laws of nature and used dark magic to create immortal beings. She created monsters, an entire species that would kill and grow, all because of fear. When I first turned, fear was all I felt, I feared that my brothers wouldn't wake up, I feared that I would never be happy, I feared the reality of my new life, a life without a family, or children, or normality. After almost a thousand years, I have realized that my fear is what made the curse unstoppable. Kol was the only one of us who ever figured out why, Our mother used a magic called expression, the magic feeds off of the want to change something, the fear of not being able to change it. This form of magic was created by a psychic to control those who used it. The magic controlled our mother since the day she began to practice it, and the fear radiated through her with every spell. Caroline, I know the feelings of fear are powerful, but you must find something that takes the fear away, grab onto it, and hold on for dear life until you learn how to control the curse. My dear niece, I hate that this is the truth, but the chances are you will fail, and you will kill, don't lose heart, nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, but, as your mother used to say, Each day is a new beginning, it's okay to need to start over. I hope that you are able to see the sun, to me, it was a reminder that with the night comes the day, and with the moon the sun. All will be okay, you just have to be willing to try, and to not give up, and one day you will find yourself standing on the other side of what right now looks to be an impassable canyon. Then, you will be able to stand in victory, knowing that you won, you beat the curse, and now you get to move on and live to the best of your ability. The best part, is that you have one of the greatest fathers in this world, one who has walked this path before you, and one who I am sure will walk it again with you. He was the only one of us who fought from the beginning and that was because of you, he won't give up on you any time soon. Know forever, that your Auntie Becks loves you.

Always and Forever,

Aunt Rebekah

By the time Elijah had finished speaking Caroline had begun to calm down again, her voice was still uncertain when she spoke,

"How did she know?"

"Rebekah always had a way of thinking of the things we missed. Sometimes it was simply we forgot a tablecloth for a party, other times it was big things, like the fact that as a child of a vampire you have a high chance of being turned eventually, whether by your will or not. She has a way of knowing what people need, and she figured out that a teenage girl whose family was full of vampires might just need a little help in that department." Elijah explained to his daughter, they sat on the floor with their backs to her bed, Elijah's arms still wrapped tightly around his daughter as if a shield from the world outside. When the window started to open, Elijah held back a laugh, he knew who it was. Caroline stood up to face Matt,

"What are you doing here?"

"Uh, I came to see if today's basket-case period had expired." Matt answered.

"Maybe you should just go. Cause my mom's going to be home soon."

"No. You've been dodging me all day. I mean, I'm more insecure than you are now." Matt tried. Elijah winced at his words from behind the edge of the bed, he knew that the boy had no idea that he was here, he also knew that the boy had just royally messed up in his word choices.

"What do you mean?"

"It means that you almost died, and it really freaked me out. And it got me thinking, you know, cause I'm just… I'm not in a position where I can lose someone else right now. I realized that even though today I wanted to throttle you, I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with you, and now it seems like you don't feel the same way." Once Matt had finished speaking Caroline pulled him in for a kiss, and then hugged him tight, she hated the fact that this was when he was telling her this, she took a deep breath hoping to fight off the feeling, and for the first time since this all started, she did. Once Matt had left, Elijah stood to hug his daughter, he was proud of her, and at the same time he was sad for her. Vampires having relationships with humans rarely worked out. Caroline held on to her father like he was her only salvation. Elijah sat by his daughter and held her in his arms until she fell asleep. He looked down at his daughter and her tear stained face, and it broke his heart that it no longer looked peaceful when she slept. He remembered when that change had happened to his younger siblings, when they had seen too much. He remembered when it happened to him, it was after his first battle, he had killed someone. It had broken him, he remembered when Finn woke him up that night thinking he was having a nightmare, when in reality he was just sleeping. It hurt more than anything to see his little girl like this, his beautiful baby.

His siblings were arguing again, the heightened emotions and hearing did not help anything. All of them being trapped in one house was a nightmare, when they heard a knock though, they all froze. Elijah was the one who was the most in control, so he walked towards it, being careful to stay out of the area the light would hit.

"Come in." His voice was steady but tired. The door opened to reveal a nurse, she was holding a bundle in her arms.

"Mr. Mikaelson I am sorry to bother you, your wife told me you were here, before…."

"Before what?" Elijah asked, worry growing inside him.

"Your wife. She. She died in childbirth, there was nothing we could do for her, but we were able to save the child." The nurse explained handing the child to Elijah. His heart shattered at her words, but he didn't move once the child was placed in his hands. His siblings immediately pounced on the nurse, Elijah stood still, not moving and not speaking. Tears were falling down his cheeks. His heart had shattered and grown at the same time, and he wasn't sure how. He wanted to die, he didn't know how he would live without Regina. Yet, at the same time, he had no idea how he could love someone so much when he had just met her. His daughter laid calmly in his arms and her face was so peaceful.

"Caroline Ahana." His voice was broken when he spoke her name.

Elijah remembered the first time he saw her like it was yesterday, he still remembered the way he had immediately loved her more than anything. He only wished that he could go back and undo all of this, that he could give her a normal life. Elijah had only a few days that he knew he would never forget, The day he had met Regina, his wedding day, the day he was turned, the day he had lost his wife and met his daughter, the day he gave her away, and now this day, the day he had failed her. Yet, the one that had killed him the most was when he had had to give her up, he would never forget that day.

Elijah stood on the porch of the family he had chosen, it was midmorning, and he had finally forced himself to ring the doorbell. He could hear Elizabeth Forbes making her way through the house, he knew that Bill Forbes would be at work, he preferred it that way. Caroline was bundled in his arms, she was sleeping peacefully wrapped in her favorite blanket. He had let her age for about nine months before making his way back to mystic falls, where he chose the Forbes family. When the door opened, he forced a smile,

"Who are you?" Elizabeth Forbes asked calmly.

"My name is Elijah Mikaelson, I know you have no idea who I am, but I need your help." Elijah tried to explain.

"Help with what?"

"I am a vampire, this is my daughter, she was born on the day I was turned. My wife died in childbirth. My family is also vampires, my father wants to kill me and my brother wants to kill my daughter. I know that all of this is a lot, but I need a place that I can leave her, a place where I know she will be safe, where she will be taught to be kind and to choose family above all else. A place where she will be able to learn about vampires and her family when she is ready. I know that this is a lot, but I am desperate, and I know you know about my kind, and I am begging you to help me."

"Please come in. Would you like a cup of tea?" Elizabeth asked, opening the door a little wider. To Elizabeth, Elijah looked like a broken man, his shoulders slumped and under his eyes were darkened. His eyes were sad, and he looked as if he was carrying the weight of the world.

"I would love one, thank you."

"So, let me get this straight. You are a vampire, your family is all vampires and your father wants to kill you and your brother wants to kill her?"

"That is correct."

"So, you are giving her up for adoption."

"Yes, I have all the paperwork done, that way if you ever need the doctor or anything you can easily get it."

"Why are you so prepared?"

"I have known I had to do this for a very long time, I just needed to find the right family." Elijah explained.

"You didn't try to fix it?"

"There is no fix. There is no going back, only moving forward."

"What is her name?"

"Caroline Ahana Mikaelson. Although if you agree, the last name will change to Forbes."

"What is that book?" Elizabeth asked, looking at the book that he had set on the chair next to him, earlier it had been hidden under the blanket that was wrapped around Caroline.

"It is full of letters, photos, and information about her family. I want her to have it given to her when she turns thirteen."

"Are you going to be in her life at all?"

"Once she turns thirteen, she will have the choice of reaching out or not. If she does, I will be a part of her life, if she chooses to not reach out, then no, I will not be a part of her life." Those were the hardest words Elijah had ever had to say. Elizabeth saw that this was true in the way that his shoulders slumped the slightest bit more, and tears began to form in his eyes.

"I will take her, I will raise her as you asked."

"Thank you. I do not know if I will ever be able to thank you enough."

"You don't have to. I cannot imagine what it is like to have to give up your daughter, especially after losing your wife. I will protect her, and make sure she has a happy life. I promise." Elijah only nodded at Elizabeth's words, he knew that if he tried to respond he would fail, so instead he handed her the book and then with one final kiss to his daughter's forehead and a whispered 'I love you' Elijah said goodbye to his daughter, gave a check to Mrs. Forbes to help take care of Caroline before leaving Mystic Falls and trying his best not to look back.

Tears were falling silently down Elijah's face as he realized that he couldn't actually blame his brother or his father for this. His own fear had done this, his sister couldn't have been more right. This curse thrived on fear. It felt like he was dying as he realized that he had given his daughter the world that took away her peace. He would never do it again, and yet he could not undo it either. Eventually, Liz came home from the office, Elijah heard Bonnie fill her in, when she showed up at the door of the bedroom with fear in her eyes Elijah did nothing to hide the tears or the brokenness that he knew she had seen before. When Liz turned around and told Bonnie she could go, Elijah was almost surprised, but when she returned and began to speak it caught him off guard completely,

"It's not your fault. You trying to protect her in the way you did, whether out of fear or not, did not seal this fate for her. You have only ever done what you could to the best of your ability. Nobody is perfect, Elijah, but even if you were, it would still not be your fault."

"I put her in this place, with these people, with the doppelgänger."

"You put her in the safest place you could find. She will never blame you, Elijah, and neither will I. You have done nothing but be a good father for her since the day after her 13th birthday."

"She is not at peace anymore. She has been so deeply affected by this earth that she cannot find peace even in her sleep. I remember just how much it took to get me to that point, I remember the day it happened. From the day I found out she was to be born I have prayed to whatever being is up there, whether it is the God that Regina believed in, or some other being, that she would never reach that point. Yet, here she is, here it is, after everything I have tried to do to protect her she still saw too much." Elijah's voice was somber, and somewhat broken.

"When did it happen for you?" Elizabeth asked, cautious not to say so much that he would stop talking.

"I was fifteen, there was a raid on the village. For the first time, even my father told me to fight rather than go hide with my mother and younger siblings. I was to join him and Finn and fight to protect the village. I did, and I will never forget what I saw that day. The bodies kept piling up, the blood was everywhere. I saw my father for who deep down I knew him to be, a warrior, a monster. I tried my best not to be a part of it, but when I saw a child out in the battle I was forced, I killed someone for the first time. I never got over it."

"You lost your innocence when you made your first kill, just as she has. Elijah, if there was one thing I have noticed from the beginning of this, it is that you have one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen, your compassion and ease to forgive and love goes beyond my understanding. She is exactly like you, Elijah, she may look like her mother, but there is not a doubt in my mind that she got everything else from you. She has the same heart, the same spirit, and the same love and compassion. So, just like you when you were her age, taking another life is something she deems irredeemable."

"She was never supposed to experience it." Elijah replied, running his fingers through his daughter's hair.

"Yet, she has. A wise man once told me that there is no going back, only moving forward. So Elijah, I ask you, what are you going to do? How are you going to help her, protect her, and raise her, now that she is your kind? How are you going to make this right, not undo it, but make it right?" Liz asked. Moving to close the window that was still open from Matt's visit.

"I… I'm… I do not know."

"Maybe that is something you need to figure out. This is the reality now. Caroline is a vampire, the Salvatore's are back, Kathrine is here. Klaus has been chasing you, and both of us know whether we want to admit it or not, that he is close to finding her, to finding you. So maybe, you need to figure out just how you are going to make this all okay. You are her father, you made a promise, how are you going to keep it?"

"I don't know."

"Why not?" At this point, Liz had begun to speak as loudly as she could without waking her daughter.

"Because…"

"Because what? Elijah Mikaelson, the original vampire? Why don't you know?"

"Because I have been running. For a thousand years, I have been hiding in fear of my curse, in fear of my father and in fear of my brother. I claimed I could do something, that I was strong enough to stand up, but I watched while my brother threatened my daughter, daggered my siblings and called me a coward. I watched while my father threatened my whole family. I have never known what to do. I have failed everyone that I have ever tried to protect, and I don't know how to protect her. I was never strong enough before, how can I be now?" Elijah bore all his fears, finally opening up about what he feared the most. That he wouldn't be able to protect her from him. That his brother would finally win.

"Elijah, the only time you have failed is when you gave up. You sit here, and I see it in your eyes, you have lost your will to fight, you look like you did the day I first met you. The spark in your eye that I saw the day you met Caroline is fading. You, Elijah Mikaelson, just need to remember why you are fighting. It was never for her innocence, it was for her. The battle isn't over, she has a life that she needs to be able to live, you are fighting for that."

"I cannot lose her, Liz."

"I know. Neither can I." With that the two of them fell into silence, after a moment Liz left the room. Elijah stayed with his daughter until morning, when he went to go acquire a daylight ring for her. Once he had one he placed it on her finger, he opened the blinds before writing a note to his daughter and leaving town. He had a plan, he would not lose his daughter.