Shi Qingxuan often heard their brother's voice in their head. They knew he was gone, moved on to the another life where he could hopefully be less troubled. But he would always be present in their heart.

Sometimes their brother was comforting, a soothing presence when their worries overcame them.

Don't worry, Qingxuan, everything will be all right. Gege will keep you safe.

More often he was horrified, or angry.

What has your life become, didi? Are you really letting yourself rely on the man who killed me?

I knew you couldn't survive without me.

And sometimes, he was just annoying.

People are greedy and selfish, Qingxuan. Never give anything away for free, or they'll just expect more.

It was especially annoying when he had a point. Shi Qingxuan had never entirely approved of the way their brother treated people like tools to be exploited, and certainly didn't want to follow in his footsteps now that they knew how far he'd been willing to exploit them. But they had to admit...sometimes being generous had it downsides.

"I'm just saying it isn't fair." Wang Shuozhi poked his finger into Shi Qingxuan's chest hard enough to hurt. "You throw money at any random drifter who happens to show up on the right day, and I get nothing? I've been hanging with these guys on and off for five years, since before we even found this temple! That's longer'n you, Ol' Feng."

"It is!" said Shi Qingxuan. Wang Shuozhi was a big guy, and Shi Qingxuan had to look up to make eye contact. "I'm really sorry you missed out, maybe next time-"

He grabbed Shi Qingxuan's robes, puling them up so they had to stand on tiptoes, their bad leg aching from the strain. "And what if I happen to be away that day, too? I don't need money next time, I need it now!"

"Don't we all, hahaha," said Shi Qingxuan, trying not to panic. "But it was actually my friend who-"

"Hey! Back off!" Shi Qingxuan couldn't see Yu Yanli behind Wang Shuozhi's looming bulk, but her sharp, high voice was unmistakeable. Like Shi Qingxuan, she spoke like someone who'd been raised to sound rich but learned to speak poor, or perhaps the other way around. But she wasn't trying for refined right now. "I wasn't here either, and you don't see me complaining. Like Ol' Feng said, we could all do with extra money, but sometimes fortune isn't in our favour."

"Well fortune should pick more carefully," said Wang Shuozhi. "And consider who knows where he sleeps."

"You want my advice?" said Yu Yanli, stepping forward to peer up at Wang Shuozhi with narrowed eyes. "Don't threaten the guy with powerful friends. Or fortune really won't be in your favour."

"Don't see any of 'em here," muttered Wang Shuozhi. But he let go of Shi Qingxuan's robes.

I do, thought Shi Qingxuan, very aware of Sha Lizhong sitting quietly in the corner. But for now he seemed content to watch. Would He Xuan step in if someone tried to hurt Shi Qingxuan? He'd said he didn't want Shi Qingxuan to die, but had promised nothing beyond that. And based on past experience, the level of suffering he was willing to watch them go through was pretty high.

"You can see me, can't you?" said Yu Yanli. "I might not be a god or a ghost, but I can still fuck you up."

Wang Shuozhi glared at her, clearly reluctant to be intimidated by a woman, but something in her gaze made him take a step back. Or maybe it was the thick lump of wood in her hand. He muttered something under his breath about next time and then stormed off.

For a moment, Shi Qingxuan wondered if Yu Yanli was another of He Xuan's aliases. But He Xuan had promised there were no others, and Shi Qingxuan had chosen to believe him.

Maybe she was just a nice person. They did exist.

"Thanks, Yu Yanli," said Shi Qingxuan.

"No problem," said Yu Yanli, putting the piece of wood back down. "So, is there going to be a next time?"

"Oh," said Shi Qingxuan, heart sinking. So much for niceness. "I can't say for sure, haha."

"Don't look at me like that, I'm not trying to get money out of you! I was just going to give you some advice."

"Oh! Um. Is it don't give people anything for free? Because I've heard that one."

"What? Nah." She patted Shi Qingxuan companionably on the shoulder. "You wanna be generous with your rich friend's money, I'm not gonna complain. You just gotta be smarter about it."

"Pick more carefully who I give money to, you mean?" They'd been thinking that themself. But what way was there to be fair, when people came and went so unpredictably? And if they started picking and choosing, how much more resentment would there be from those who were deliberately left out? This had all been easier when they were so rich they could just throw money at every problem without thinking.

"That's part of it," said Yu Yanli. "But...look. It's one thing to have a little extra here and there and share it with whoever. That's just being friendly. But if you start handing out big wads of cash on the regular, you're gonna get known as the money guy. And then you're gonna have to decide who you do and don't give it to, and it's gonna be a big mess, and Wang Shuozhi is gonna be the least of your problems. I mean, you could get yourself some muscle, only help out the folk who make it worth your while...but then you'd really be the money guy. And I don't think that's the kinda guy you wanna be."

"No," said Shi Qingxuan, with a sigh. "It's not." Then they'd be acting like their brother. He was the reason Shi Qingxuan had never had to think about all this before: he'd been the muscle, and the reason Shi Qingxuan had had so much to give out they'd never had to be careful who they were generous to. "But I want to help! I don't know if my friend will be so generous again, but what do you think I should do if he is?"

"He? Wasn't she some beautiful elegant lady ghost?" She sniffed and straightened her hair. "Everyone keeps going on about her, makes a girl feel unappreciated."

Shi Qingxuan laughed awkwardly.

"Anyway. If your pretty friend wants to help again, get her to fix this place up. No offence, Your Holiness, I'm sure it was a very nice temple, but it's not much good as a place to stay."

"Hey!" said Shi Qingxuan, too offended at the insult to their temple to be glad that someone had actually remembered they'd been a god. "What's wrong with it?"

"Well first off, it's filthy," said Yu Yanli. "Come Spring we should give it a good clean. And second, the stone floors are freezing. Back when I ran a courtesan house, I had these nice-"

They drew away in surprise. "Wait, when you what?"

"Not like that shitty brothel that broke your arm!" she said, bristling. "It was a good, clean establishment, very classy. Singing, dancing, poetry, the works." She looked a little misty eyed. And no wonder, homeless prostitute was a pretty big step down from courtesan house owner. Shi Qingxuan wasn't the only one here whose life had taken an intense downward turn. "I never forced anyone to work for me, that's for sure! It was the kind of place you wanted to work at, the kinda place I wished for when I was young. Anyway, a proper courtesan is trained from childhood, you can't just bring in amateurs off the-" She stopped to turn away from Shi Qingxuan and glare into the corner. "Sha Lizhong, why are you making that face? You disapprove or something?"

"No," said Sha Lizhong. But his bland smile looked oddly strained.

"If you ran it I'm sure was very classy," said Shi Qingxuan. "And you might have a point about fixing up the temple. What do you think, Sha Lizhong?"

"I think...I..." He stood up, unsteadily. "Excuse me." And then he bowed politely and left?

"What's up with him?" said Yu Yanli, echoing Shi Qingxuan's thoughts. "Anyway, you own this place, right? As it's god?"

"Uh, I'm not sure," said Shi Qingxuan, distracted. "I never really thought about it."

"Hmm. You gotta be careful with land ownership," said Yu Yanli, darkly. "And business partners. That's how I lost my hand and my courtesan-"

"Excuse me, Yu Yanli," said Shi Qingxuan, "Can we discuss this later? I want to check up on Sha Lizhong."

"Sure. But if he's being prudish, give him a smack from me."

"I will!"

The temple wasn't very large, and it didn't take long for Shi Qingxuan to convince themself that Sha Lizhong was gone. Luckily they still had a little spiritual power to hand.

"He Xuan," they said. "Where did you go?"

"Back to my aunt's."

"Haha. Why did you run off like that?" Shi Qingxuan couldn't imagine it was actually squeamishness about Yu Yanli's former occupation, considering that he seemed not to care about her current one.

They waited a while, but got no reply.

"He Xuan? Is something wrong?"

They waited a while longer.

"Shi Qingxuan," said He Xuan, at last. "How did you break your arm?"

He hadn't heard the story? Shi Qingxuan had complained loudly to everyone who'd listen at the time, but maybe He Xuan hadn't happened to be around. And when it had become clear that the arm wasn't going to heal right, Shi Qingxuan had been so depressed on the subject they'd stopped talking about it at all.

Thinking about explaining it all to He Xuan now was pretty unappealing. It wasn't a very pleasant memory.

"Uh," said Shi Qingxuan. "It's a little embarrassing."

"Tell me."

Shi Qingxuan sat down against the wall, stretching out their aching legs and rubbing the scar on the back of their hand. "Back when I first...came to the capital," Back when you left me here, "I had no idea what I was doing. Didn't know what streets to avoid, didn't know it was...a bad idea to draw too much attention to myself." Drawing attention to themself had been pretty much their whole life strategy before that point, after all. "I thought I could make more money as a beggar if I made myself look nice. So I cleaned..." cleaned the blood stains from my clothes. "...anyway, I got the wrong sort of attention and got dragged into a brothel. Not a nice one, either." For a moment, they were drawn back to that day. The dank smell, the callous faces, the pain of being held so tightly. And above all, the fear of what would happen next. "I told them I was a man but...apparently there's people into that sort of thing, hahaha. Getting away was...was a bit of a struggle, and I ended up with my arm broken." They rubbed their hand again, and then laughed. "But compared to what coulda happened, I guess I got off lucky!"

He Xuan didn't reply. Was he upset? Why would he... Shi Qingxuan had a sudden, horrible realisation.

"Oh no, is this reminding you of...I'm not saying what I experienced is like what happened to your, uh..." To your fiancé and sister who were raped and killed because of my brother. A broken arm wasn't much compared to that.

"How did you break your leg?"

Thank goodness, that was a much funnier story. "Haha, well," said Shi Qingxuan, relegating the bad memories back to the depths of their mind. "I heard installing roof tiles paid well. So I thought, 'how hard can it be?' But turns out..."

That night, Shi Qingxuan looked around the temple with new eyes- not as an abandoned temple, but as a home with the potential to be better. Yu Yanli was right, the floor was pretty cold. And no-one had anywhere secure to store their things, maybe if they bought some-

"Please move over."

"He- Sha Lizhong? What are you doing here?" He was holding a pile of bedding, like he wanted to go to sleep. It wasn't like there were assigned beds or anything, but the regulars tended to keep to the same sleeping spots, and Shi Qingxuan had been sleeping here in this corner next to Ol' Bao for over a year.

"I swapped with Ol' Bao."

"Why?"

"You'd have to ask him."

Ol' Bao was a nervous old man who liked certainty and routine. The odds of him choosing to change where he slept for no reason were pretty low. "Is this because of Wang Shuozhi threatening me?"

"No," said Sha Lizhong. "I'm going to sleep." He lay out his bedding and sat himself down.

It was funny, Sha Lizhong didn't look much like He Xuan, and in many ways acted very differently: he was polite, and gentle, and friendly to everyone. But he gave the same sense of being contained and controlled, of still waters running deep. Shi Qingxuan couldn't tell what emotions were hiding under that smooth surface, but didn't get the sense he was still upset. That was a relief. "It's still early," said Shi Qingxuan. "I was going to stay up a bit longer."

"Suit yourself," said Sha Lizhong. And then he lay down and closed his eyes, in a very convincing simulacrum of sleep. Honestly, this man.

Shi Qingxuan contacted He Xuan's private array. "You know I know that ghosts don't sleep."

He Xuan didn't reply.

Shi Qingxuan smiled to themself. Even if He Xuan wouldn't admit that he was here to protect them, Shi Qingxuan couldn't think of any other reason he'd choose to sleep here all of a sudden. Part of them felt strange at the idea of sleeping next to He Xuan, but they didn't feel as nervous around him as they used to, and they'd had worse bedfellows. Ol' Bao was a sweet guy, and he couldn't help having twitchy insomnia, but someone who literally slept like the dead would be a restful change. And it felt good to know that someone was looking out for them, and keeping them safe.

Sha Lizhong wore a gentle smile even in slumber. Maybe He Xuan really had built it into this body.

"You look cute when you're asleep," said Shi Qingxuan. In the flickering light of the fire, he looked even less like He Xuan: relaxed, and very young. Yet He Xuan had been young when he died, even if he usually chose to look older. Even Ming Yi had seemed very grownup, though he had been pretending to be younger than Shi Qingxuan. It was easy to forget sometimes that they were exactly the same age.

"I don't look anything like that," said He Xuan. "And I know you know that ghosts don't sleep."

Shi Qingxuan laughed. "Well, this mortal does. And you make it look appealing. Maybe I'll go to sleep after all." The ground was hard and cold beneath them, and their blanket was thin. But they drifted off easily, feeling safe and warm.