Buffy had managed a decent sized collection of moments she'd have given anything to go back and change and her latest walk into Angel's diner had absolutely been written on the next line of that list and had she been ordering them by importance it'd certainly been high up on it, too. Her entire body felt tense as she forced herself to open the heavy glass door and make her way inside, already feeling like every eye in the place was on her even though that more than likely wasn't in fact the case, but it was what she felt like.

Getting closer to the front counter, she glanced toward Giles and offered him an awkward, small smile before placing her hands down on the smooth surface. Her eyes meeting Jesse's next, she felt the pit in the bottom of her stomach only getting worse by the look he had on his face upon seeing her. Slowly making his way over, he opened his mouth then shut it again.

"I-is Angel working today?" she forced the words out.

Jesse cleared his throat then shook his head.

"Oh," she replied softly then heard him stumbling over asking if she was planning to stay and eat. "Umm I..." she'd just started when her eyes went wide on their own accord as he slowly and painfully presented a menu in front of her.

Jesse did another one of those open his mouth, nothing seemed to come out so he quickly shut it again cycles a time or two before exchanging looks with everyone else working today. Then, in a breathless rush came, "Angel didn't leave any like instructions on what to serve, not today or... lately... he, uh, actually made it a point to tell us y-you didn't want that any more and we should just treat you, uh, normally?" Then he just looked nervous and confused.

"Um..." she finally breathed out, "N-no, um actually I forgot that I-I'm supposed to be somewhere," she told him, lightly pushing the menu away from her. "S-sorry," she muttered before turning back around and starting for the door.

Now at least she was certain all the attention was on her.

OoOoO

Not even able to make it all the way home, Buffy finally took a seat on a bench, brought her knees up to her chest and called Willow. Before the pretty redhead had even been able to complete her cheerful "Hey Buffy, what's up?" she had started crying, hiccupping out "I messed up. I told you I messed up, Will."

"Buffy? What's wrong? Did you not go talk to Angel?"

She let out a nervous laugh. "He wasn't there," she answered, then was shaking her head as Willow tried rationalizing what she could gather with the zero information she really had. When she was finally able to explain about what Jesse had said, Willow went quiet.

Buffy wiped at angry hot tears on her face, mad at herself for a number of stupid ass actions on her part that even got her in this damn mess. Of course, being upset over Angel had he done this any other time would have raised an eyebrow or whatever but she probably would have just joked about it and moved on... but no, he had to after she went all psycho on him. Because of course what else was he going to do?

Everything was going just fine in her life, everything was just fine being silly little friends with him, then emotions and who the fuck knew what else finally got too out of control for her and she'd shown up at his apartment in the middle of the night and kissed him. She told him to never bring it up and forget it ever happened and to his credit he'd just stood there frozen in place until she was gone, then time passed and passed and he did just as she asked... only for her to have another one of those moments spring up on her. He was bidding her goodnight after another one of their random movie nights and next thing she knew, she was kissing him... and then there was far too intense staring... and then she did it again and again until he finally dared to react.

And it was perfect, he was perfect...

She was fine getting lost him in... pretty sure whatever she was feeling spread from her fingertips to the ends of her toes was as close to any drug as she was going to get... until she went and snapped like a goddamn psycho glowstick and started going off on him. She didn't even remember half of it, what brought it on, what she even started out with, but along the way she'd gone on and on about how he was a horrible person acting like he knew what was best for her all the time, that she wished he'd stop looking at her the way he always did because it made her uncomfortable and a ton of other things probably... none of which were even true.

And life had been a shit show for her ever since. Horrified when reality sunk in did not even come close to covering it, regret had never been so hard hitting in her damn life. She knew she needed to apologize at the absolute very least but could not bring herself to face him, not even with a phone call or text, hell even a letter hadn't worked out, let alone anyone else. She'd not gone to work and basically did everything she could to hide out until her lovely townspeople just got too concerned and came knocking, refusing to take no for an answer.

Slowly she had tried to return to normal other than still avoiding Angel... she practically crept around town, checking around corners making sure she didn't seem him, checking every vehicle in a parking lot before daring to enter, not going to the diner, just all of it... until today.

Willow had spent so much time trying to convince her it was okay, it was Angel, he was going to understanding... hell she'd been told that well before today right? All those worries she'd go and chase him off with her trauma waved off by Willow, Oz, anyone but here they were... It was all fucked up.

And all her fucking fault.

"Maybe he was just trying to do what you asked, giving you some safe space?" Willow finally spoke, nearly startling Buffy in the process.

Wiping at her face again, she let out a shaky breath. "Maybe. It just hurt and then that sounds stupid and I just feel... I don't even know," Buffy trailed off.

"You want me to come over?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I g-guess. I don't know what else to do at the moment."

OoOoO

Of course thinking things couldn't get worse after the diner fiasco only meant the universe had to prove otherwise... the next day, all while looking like the disaster she felt on the inside, she overheard Catherine Madison mention Angel. Her head turning fast enough to threaten whiplash, she seemed to move closer against her will, not even attempting to hide her eavesdroppings.

"Angel is going to be gone until when?!"

Catherine looked up, glanced Buffy up and down then answered. When Buffy kept pressing for more information she about paled at Catherine explaining she'd finally convinced Angel to go meet up with her daughter, Amy. Her mind quickly going to unwelcomed thoughts and anything else Mrs. Madison having to say starting to mute out, she just started walking back off, placing everything in her arms on the closest empty spot on a shelf nearby and going outside, desperate for fresh air.

OoOoO

As Amy returned from her trip to the restroom, Angel stood up and waited for her to be seated, and was just bending back down to take his own seat again when out of the corner of his eye he happened to spot her outside. His eyes did a double take then stared hard out the large window she was looking in from the outside out.

Feeling all the air inside of his body push its way back out all at once he couldn't do much of anything at first, pretty sure this moment was the last thing he expected. He was back seated in his chair before he even knew it, and mumbling along "mmhmm" to Amy, mostly drowning her and any other noise out as he continued to hold Buffy's unnerving gaze from even this distance.

Finally he cleared his throat, blinked hard a number of times and asked Amy if she would please excuse him for just a few moments. "I just spotted someone outside I just need to catch and have a word with real quick," he told her before standing again, his feet feeling like they were covered in cement as he started to actually move forward.

Pushing the door open, cool air hit in, a very quick difference from one step inside. Turning to round the corner to where Buffy was, he catch a glimpse of Willow in her car, taking up one of the parking spaces.

OoOoO

Buffy really had no idea what she was planning to do or expecting to happen with this little spur of the moment insane idea but it was happening, then she was here, and her panic was only rising the more she looked at him and thought about how things had been playing out in recent times, replaying her moments of chaos, all the better choices her ass could have made.. and then he was looking at her and she couldn't seem to move or breathe, and then he was up and coming closer... until he was right in front of her.

And, killing her more, is he seemed to suddenly remember another part of her little outburst and tried his best to not look directly at her, to not to "oogle her to death."

Putting a frustrated hand to her forehead, a long stream of word vomit came rushing out, barely taking time to breathe even as she jumped from one passing thought and worry and apology to the next... only screeching to a halting silence when he cut her off with an explanation about this Amy girl...

He was catering her wedding.

He had not wanted to do it, had turned the offer down multiple times, was finally talked into coming to meet with Amy and her groom to be and how that had mixed up his past several days.

"Oh," she half breathed, half squeaked out... feeling her face starting to burn up.

"They asked if they could take me out to eat as a thank you and to go over a few last details before I officially decide about any contract," he continued after a moment. "Unfortunately, he was on call and about thirty or so minutes ago had to leave so..."

"Oh," she repeated, wishing more by each passing second the earth would just create some sort of sinkhole or something and swallow her up.

OoOoO

Everything kind of seemed to blur for awhile... Buffy and Willow had switched places, Will pretty much filling him in on what had happened with Jesse and her harshly whispering to him he was not handling things well a all and him trying to explain quickly where he at least was coming from... eventually asking Buffy if they could talk later, either when he got back to Sunnydale or having given the two ladies his hotel information if they wanted to meet there or to just text him something later and he'd check it once his dead phone came back to life, then forcing himself back inside and to not spend the whole time dealing with Amy thinking about the pretty blonde who was wreaking havok on every aspect of his existence, now more than ever .

Getting out of Sunnydale in an attempt to clear his head and give her space sure didn't work out how he expected it to.

OoOoO

Buffy was sitting nervously on the large bed, picking at invisible lint off her pants when she wasn't busy fussing with random parts of her coat, or moving the keycard Angel had given her this way and that in her fingertips, across her hand... when the door finally opened and she about came out of her skin.

Stepping deeper into the room, he started off by again trying to apologize and explain about how he'd left things at the diner and for anything he might have done before, during or since then but she shook her head and held up a hand to stop him. Between Willow and his previous comments she felt a little less panicked about her unwanted surprise earlier and yeah, it made sense given everything.

Looking back down at the card in her hands, she took a deep breath and again tried to find her own words... apologizing for how she'd set this whole damn thing in motion, how ridiculous she felt that she went and did a flip script on him at the worst possible time and over the worst possible things, that in fact all those things she went off the deep end over she truly felt the opposite over an were her favorite things in the world.

Even if that fact scared her to death.

OoOoO

After the two of them more or less had a chance to speak their mind and offer some peace and understanding about the shitshow that they'd become there... Angel sat next to her on the bed and the two fell into a more easy silence for a long while, eventually she let herself fall back against the soft mattress and he joined her, turning on his side and propping himself up on his elbow as he looked her over.

She was pretty sure she didn't actually relax a bit though until his arm reached out for her and she was pulled closer to his body after several minutes came and went. "What'd you do with Wil?"

"She's a few rooms down, we decided it might just be easier," Buffy answered softly.

"Mmm," he replied. "Well, if we are more or less going back to a state of normal again..." he paused giving her a look, "are you ladies wanting to go out and about and see what new trouble you can cause or..."

Buffy shook her head. "I don't think either of us were quite up for that today, if nothing else I know I'm not."

"Mmm, so you want to just hang out here?" he asked and she nodded at that. "Well that's an adventure we haven't managed yet. I could always see what places deliver if you're hungry, or go raid a vending machine or something? Go bother Wil and have a dance party in your room or chill out watching a movie..." he rambled off a number of other ideas but none of them worked for her.

"I don't know," she finally whispered, burying her face into his chest, trying to scoot herself as close to him as what seemed possible.

OoOoO

Angel did his best to jump from bouts of silence and random small talk, asking her what she had been up to in the lost weeks, filling her in on this wedding he was being roped into helping out with... but found his mind grow fuzzy as her tiny fingertips started toying with the buttons of his shirt, slowly popping a few of them undone not long after.

Clearing his throat, he untangled himself from Buffy slowly. "I should probably get changed out of this," he muttered before standing. "There's a collection of menus for dinner ideas if you do want one after all. I mean, you haven't been in to see me for weeks so I'm a little surprised you're not all skin and bones walking around," he tried to joke.

Buffy pushed herself back up to a sitting position before he could really move away, then was on her knees and her hands reaching for him. He stood completely still as her hands slide up mid-torso up his chest, toward his shoulders, easily slipping the jacket he had on off its perch and down his arm until it fell away. Back to his shirt, she undid his tie first then went back to the line of dark green buttons.

Her eyes slowly started trailing back up until she dared look at his face again. He could tell she was trying hard not to start telling herself she was being foolish and break out in a nice shade of red again before he dared making another misstep with this woman, his arm going back to around her warm body, bringing her closer as his lips found their way to hers once again.

OoOoO

"Can we just do this?" Buffy whispered, peering up at Angel, fluffy pillows underneath her head, Angel's body entirely blanketing over her.

Angel swallowed hard and nodded his head. "I think that might be doable," his hoarse voice answered before his head dipped back down to her.