Title: "Happy Anniversary?"
Author: Veritas Found
Characters/Pairings: Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng; Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng
Rating: T / PG-13 / Teen
Summary: Leading up to their tenth anniversary, Marinette has some…interesting dreams concerning her husband, who doesn't really understand why she's suddenly waking up crying and mad at him? He figures it's just the pregnancy hormones.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes/Warnings: …I think this is a fic equivalent of a shitpost. xD I started this idea back when I was first piecing Hey Stupid together, and it was just this little joke of "Hey Luka's been Really Dumb Lately" and all these "TEN YEARS LATER" fics? So it kinda just festered away, and then LBSC had their Sprintiversary, so I kinda wanted to run with the "Anniversary" theme and finish this up?
Except I've been Very Sick (COVID and complications) while all this was going on, so I've been super rusty (and exhausted, and foggy-brained), and it was not sprinting. I had to set it aside again while recovering, but I think we're finally there. So hopefully this actually makes sense, because it's also very possible that it makes sense in my (not quite reliable at the moment) head and didn't translate all that well...
"Happy Anniversary?"
The dreams started about a week before their anniversary. (The number of the anniversary was in debate and slightly irrelevant, except that Marinette was arguing it was ten instead of five because Luka had thought it'd be romantic to surprise her with a wedding on the anniversary of their first date. The number was only kind of important because, when the dreams kept coming, Luka was convinced the whole ten year anniversary thing actually was important.)
…but back to the point.
Luka didn't immediately think very much of the dreams: he had been sleeping at the time, so of course he didn't. Marinette was also about seven months pregnant with their first child and hadn't been sleeping all that well lately anyway, so when he first felt her moving he simply thought the baby was giving her trouble again.
In fact, it wasn't until she jerked awake, slapped him, and screamed "You asshole!" that he thought very much of the dreams at all.
He quickly caught her hands, blinking stupidly at her as she cried.
"Ma-Marinette!" he gasped, squeezing her wrists to keep them in place when she tried to hit him again. "Darning! What's wrong?"
"Don't you 'darning' me, Couffaine!" she snapped. "How could you?!"
"How could I what, Marinette?" he asked, dropping his head back on his pillow and groaning. "I was sleeping – like you should be!"
"You left!" she cried. He lifted his head back up and blinked. He what? "You left to tour for ten years and came back with a stupid beard and didn't tell me who you were and –"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa – hold on," he said, squeezing her wrist before he reached up to cup her cheek. He was surprised to find she was crying, and he sighed as he brushed the tears away. "Marinette. I'm right here. Yeah, I tour, but I always come home, right? I always come back to you. I'm not going anywhere, darning."
He grinned at her as he dropped his hand to her belly. She bit her lip, watching him closely.
"Why would I? I've got all I need right here," he said. He pulled her down to him, and she only whined a little as he leaned up to kiss her. "My two special girls."
"Lu…" she whimpered against his lips. He rolled her onto her back and kissed her again.
"It was just a dream," he said, caressing her stomach. "You know I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Marinette. And little No-Name."
Her giggle still sounded watery, but at least she wasn't crying anymore.
"Sleep, darning," he said, kissing her cheek. "You'll feel better in the morning."
And she did. When he found her in the kitchen the next morning, she seemed in perfectly good spirits as she stirred her oatmeal and scrolled through her phone. He bent to kiss the back of her head, inquiring how she slept, and she answered with a cheerful perfectly fine. She seemed to have no recollection of her nighttime panic.
…until about midafternoon, when she had fallen asleep on the couch and jerked awake screaming for him. He stumbled out of their studio to find her crying again, babbling about how he had abandoned her to be a hermit for ten years and what the hell, Luka?!
He could only shake his head, baffled.
"Mari, I'm right here," he said. He kissed her, then bent to kiss her belly. No-Name kicked him, and he chuckled before kissing her again. He grinned up at Marinette, who still had tears in her eyes. "There's your proof. I have very much been here for every part of the last ten years. I'd never let you be a hermit, darning."
She sniffled and looked down at her stomach, rubbing her hand over No-Name as the baby squirmed.
"Sorry…" she sighed, shaking her head. "Just…weird dreams lately."
"You know you're stuck with me, right?" he asked. She smiled and nodded, then leaned in to kiss him.
"'Til death," she said, and he smiled.
"And then some," he murmured before kissing her again. Once he knew she was ok, he returned to their studio, the dreams (mostly) forgotten.
Until she woke him up the next night, only this time it was Tikki she was mad at.
"Ten years, Tikki!" she cried, pressing her face into his chest as the kwami hovered uselessly in front of them. The kwamis didn't usually sleep in their room, but Tikki had come flying when Marinette had started screaming for her. "Ladybug can't be romantically involved – she has responsibilities! Nobody can know Ladybug's identity – there are rules!"
…which was technically true, except as Guardian Marinette got to tweak the rules, and all of the kwamis had agreed it was better if her husband knew. Especially when he was such a strong Chosen himself. Tikki may have been opposed to the ideas when Marinette was younger, but as her Chosen grew stronger and more confident in her abilities (and as the threats to the city – the world – grew more dangerous) she had always supported Luka being a permanent holder. She was the one who had suggested Marinette tell him her secret in the first place!
Tikki liked Luka.
"We were miserable and you didn't care and when we finally stopped listening to you we defeated Hawkmoth in five minutes flat!" she shouted. He shushed her, smoothing back her hair and kissing the top of her head. "Luka, she hates you!"
"But I don't, Marinette!" Tikki cried. She looked at Luka, baffled, and he shrugged helplessly. Her guess was as good as his – he had no idea what had sparked the crazy dreams, either. (He knew Pregnancy Dreams were a thing, though, and he was banking on that.) "I adore Luka! He's so good for you – he always has been!"
"Ladybug does NOT need to be single!" Marinette cried. Luka pulled her as close as he could, resting his cheek on her head.
"Of course she doesn't, darning," he said, "and she never will be. You've got me. You've always got me. It was just a bad dream."
Eventually, Marinette cried herself to sleep. Tikki spent the night on her pillow, burrowed into her hair, and by morning the dream was – again – forgotten.
But that was only because she woke up crying about another dream.
"I couldn't tell you about Ladybug," she said, her hands on his face. "Because of the Rules. And I couldn't tell you, and you got akumatized into this…this…truth-telling akuma, and you dumped me because even then I couldn't tell you –"
"But you did tell me," he said, wiping her tears away. "Eventually, you did tell me."
"But I didn't! And you dumped me! And then I told Alya? Who would tell Alya? Alya couldn't keep a secret to save her life! Alya is awful!" she hiccoughed. He winced a little at that: Marinette hadn't spoken to Alya since the summer after collège. The two had quickly gone their separate ways when they went to different lycée, after the whole Lila mess. Alya hadn't even been entrusted with a Miraculous in…about just as long.
"You know I was only akumatized the once," he said, rubbing her back. "And I would never dump you over…Marinette. Darning. I am so lucky to have you. I am awed every time I wake up to your beautiful face by the fact that you chose me. Why would I dump you?"
"Because I couldn't –" she started, and he shook his head.
"Back then? I knew you couldn't. You said Tikki and Master Fu were always pretty strict about the rules. You had to keep the secret. And as soon as you could tell me, you did," he said. He kissed her, pecking one more against her forehead before pulling away. "It wasn't your secret to tell. I remember…when we first started dating, and you had to keep ducking out and cancelling dates because of Ladybug? I remember being hurt. But you told me what you could, and I trusted you. You made up for it later."
"You dumped me…" she mumbled.
"No, I didn't," he said. He tipped her chin up and smiled at her. "I mean, I stopped dating you for a while, but hanging out in your room was just as much fun."
She gave him a watery smile, and he grinned back before kissing her. He winked when he started to pull away.
"Better makeouts, too," he murmured against her lips. Her smile was small, but he preferred it over the frowns and tears. "Are we ok now? Enough of the crazy dreams?"
The smile quickly vanished. She pushed away from him with a roll of her eyes and started towards their ensuite.
"It's not like I'm asking for them, Luka," she huffed. "But yes, we're ok."
And they were.
For a few hours, at least.
Until later that afternoon, that is, when Luka walked back in through the front door, groceries in hand, and was greeted by No-Name's stuffed ladybug to the face.
He stood just inside their flat, blinking, and wondered what he had missed now.
"I do not love Adrien Agreste!" Marinette screeched at him. He nodded slowly.
"Ok," he said, shifting the bag of groceries in his arms. And he had picked up that disgusting matcha ice cream she'd been so fond of lately, too… "Good to know."
He went to the kitchen and started unloading the bag. Marinette was right behind him. He sighed as he pulled out the ice cream, but she didn't even notice when he waved it at her.
"All right," he said, putting it away. "What was the dream about this time?"
"You dumped me because you were jealous of Adrien!" she said. "Luka, I don't love Adrien!"
"I would never…darning, listen to yourself," he sighed, shoving a hand through his hair. They hadn't even spoken to Adrien in…God, about as long as Alya. (He had moved to London after his father…after, and none of them had heard from him since. Plagg had been living with them and the other kwamis for years!)
"I know! But we both got busy with work, and we had no time together, and I was working with Adrien and you were trying to propose –" she started, her words coming faster the longer she ranted, and he groaned.
"We're already married," he tried to say, but she wasn't listening.
"…and I picked a fight with you, like an idiot, and you broke up with me because clearly that meant I loved Adrien and not you, but it wasn't actually about Adrien, and then you left and…what were we even fighting about?" she asked, turning towards him. He rolled his eyes and handed her a sleeve of ginger cookies. She opened them and started nibbling on one.
"I have no idea, darning," he said. "It was your dream."
She was looking at her feet.
"…and then…you don't believe in soulmates, right?" she mumbled. He paused and frowned.
"Soulmates? Of course not," he said. "You make your own soulmate."
"I know!" she cried. "But you found out Chat was Adrien and dumped me because you thought he was my soulmate!"
…which wasn't what had happened at all, but they had been together a few years by the time his identity had come out. Marinette had long since gotten over any lingering feelings, and by that point Chat's behavior had become so…erratic she had only felt a sense of betrayal. (Obviously he hadn't dumped her. He had bought her a pint of cookie dough ice cream and held her while she cried, though.)
He reached for her, and she tried to shrug him off, but her attempts were half-hearted at best. He pulled her back against his chest and kissed her hair, sighing again as he rubbed her belly.
"Please believe me when I say I love you, you wacko, and have no intention of leaving you," he said. "No-Name's got you all up in a tizzy, huh? You've been having some crazy dreams lately."
"…I didn't even tell you about the one where we were soulmates and I got your eye color wrong so you ghosted me for five years," she grumbled. He chuckled and kissed her cheek.
"Well, I suppose five is better than ten," he said. She whined and squirmed, but he held her tight.
"Lu, that's not funny," she said. He chuckled and kissed her cheek again.
"Sure it is," he said. "Considering our tenth anniversary's in a few days and…hey, you don't think that's why you're having all these crazy dreams, huh?"
"They feel so real when I wake up," she said, shaking her head. "I wake up, and I can feel No-Name kicking and you beside me but I honestly believe I've been alone. And my heart hurts, and I know it's silly, but…"
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, turning her so he could better kiss her. His hand smoothed over her belly, bunching her shirt, and she hummed as he leaned into her. "I love my girls too much. Do I need to remind you?"
"…maybe a little bit," she said, laughing slightly when he rolled his eyes. He glanced back at the grocery bag, considering. All the perishables were away already.
"As you wish," he said, and she squealed as he picked her up and carried her to their room.
Except apparently he wasn't as good at convincing her as he thought, as – much later, after he had thought he'd thoroughly exhausted her and they were cuddled together in their bed (and he was finally catching up on some of the sleep she'd been making him miss) – she had another series of Strange Dreams.
He woke to a dark room and Marinette leaning over him, her eyes wide and glassy.
"Luka," she called gently, shaking his shoulder. When he didn't immediately wake, she shook him a bit harder. "Luka."
"M'up," he mumbled, reaching up to rub at his eyes (and knocking her arm away in the process). He blinked blearily at her, frowning when he saw the panicked expression on her face. "Marinette? What's wrong?"
"Would you still want me if you were a snake?" she asked. He blinked stupidly at her. He knew he was hearing things, because the kwamis hadn't slept in their room in years, but he would swear he heard Sass laughing.
"…what?" he asked. Marinette bit her lip.
"If you were a snake," she said. "Like…a real snake. Not Viperion. A snake-snake. Not even human. And from a different social class. Would you still want me? Would you still love me?"
"…what the hell kind of…of course I would, Marinette," he groaned, rubbing at his eyes again. What. The. Fuck? He lowered his hands and frowned at her. "Is this the ice cream? Has No-Name finally realized how gross that ice cream is and turned it against you?"
"Luka, I'm being serious!" she whined. Her nose scrunched. "I didn't even touch the ice cream!"
"So am I!" he snapped. When her lip started quivering – and her eyes started welling with tears – he sighed and pulled her down against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. "Darning, this has got to stop. I'm running out of ways to tell you you're stuck with me."
"You were a snake, Luka," she mumbled. She paused and shook her head. "Well…kind of? You were like…half-snake. Half-human. It was weird."
"They're called nagas," he said off-handedly, because of course he knew that. He was the Chosen of the Snake Miraculous, after all.
"Ok, you were a naga," she huffed. "And…" she trailed off with a groan, pressing her face into his chest. Her hand fisted over his heart. "I married you but didn't know it? And then you were like…a different social class or something, so you couldn't marry me, and I almost had to marry Adrien."
"…I thought we'd already established I'm not jealous of Adrien?" he asked, blinking at the ceiling. "And how could I not marry you if you'd already married me?"
"I don't know!" she cried. She pushed herself back up and glared at him. "How could you be a big, scary dragon and let Adrien murder all of our babies because you tried to reason with him instead of just turning back and burning his ass?!"
"…I'm really getting tired of asking this," Luka sighed, "but what?"
"You were a dragon," she said.
"I thought I was a naga?" he asked.
"No, not in this one," she said.
"…how many dreams have you had?" he asked.
"I don't know. A lot. But you were a dragon," she said. He sighed and nodded.
"Ok," he said. "I was a dragon."
"And you let Adrien kill you and our babies," she said. He pursed his lips together. That sounded…ok, even ignoring the fact that he was supposedly a dragon in this scenario, it sounded highly unlikely. And what was up with all the Adrien dreams? He might actually develop a complex at this point. "You could turn into a human, and you tried to reason with him. And when that didn't work, like you should have known it wouldn't've, you let him kill you."
"I'm sorry," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and squeezing. "Next time Adrien tries to kill me or our babies, I will make sure to barbeque his misguided ass."
"Thank you," she huffed, settling back down beside him. He patted her shoulder and kissed her forehead.
"Can we go back to sleep now?" he asked. He frowned when she didn't answer. "…Marinette?"
She was already asleep.
After that, the dreams seemed to…if not disappear entirely, at least ease up. She slept through the rest of the night (mostly) peacefully. She didn't wake up crying or throwing things at him after her naps. She slept through the entire following night.
And then it was their anniversary.
And he had everything planned out perfectly.
She didn't want to go out. (Going out would mean dressing up, none of her maternity clothes were nice enough for Going Out, and she didn't feel like making anything fancy.) Ok. So he made her a fancy dinner at home, even enlisting her dad's help on a nice dessert. He ordered her favorite flowers. He had found a beautiful silver locket about a month back, one that had an anchor with a length of rope shaped like a heart engraved on it. (He had tried to put a copy of No-Name's last sonogram in it, but the picture wasn't that clear when shrunk down. He figured once the baby was actually here he'd have a better photo for her.)
The kwamis were even sequestered away in the studio, where they were told to not disturb them until tomorrow morning, please. (They had agreed, begrudgingly, but their ire was only because it was a special night and they enjoyed being a part of special things. They'd been more agreeable when Luka reminded them who had come about during the last special night (and how).)
Marinette had given him a Look when he returned from her parents', a T&S Boulangerie box in hand. He just kissed her forehead and told her to take a nap. When she woke up, he had a nice, lovely dinner planned for them.
That, ultimately, had been his mistake.
He was pulling their dinner out of the oven when he heard the scream coming from the couch. He jumped back from the oven and…
…dropped their dinner on the floor.
Which he would have been more upset about if Marinette wasn't still screaming bloody murder in the other room.
"Marinette!" he called, hopping over their ruined dinner and running into the living room. She was sitting on the couch, her face buried in her hands as she wailed. "Darning! Calm down – what's wrong?"
Her head snapped towards him, her eyes filled with tears and her lips twisted in a scowl.
"You had Juleka's baby!" she shrieked. He froze, barely registering the concerned chittering coming from the hall (or the nineteen or so kwamis who had just phased through the studio wall to watch).
Because there was no way he had heard that right.
Absolutely no. Fucking. Way.
And if he said it one more time, he was going to kick something.
"…what?" he squawked, praying to every deity he could think of that Dingo would be at the studio tomorrow. God, he needed to kick someone.
She grabbed a throw pillow and chucked it at him. He blinked as it hit him square in the face. When he caught it on its way to the floor, she screamed again.
"I don't care how noble your intentions were, Couffaine! You got your sister pregnant!" she shrieked.
"But…" he tried to say, ignoring the cackling Gross in his head (that sounded too much like the aforementioned sister for his comfort). He shook his head, groaning. "How…?"
"You had Juleka's baby!" she snapped again, and he really needed her to stop saying that. Ew. "And then you wanted five million babies, and I'm not ready for five million babies, Luka – I'm barely ready for one!"
She was clutching her stomach by this point and crying in earnest, and Luka was…flummoxed.
"Marinette…" he groaned, scrubbing at his face again. He had been foolish enough to hope her Crazy Pregnancy Dreams were actually over (and he really hoped they were just the hormones or whatever, because what the ever-loving fuck). "I don't…I am one hundred percent ok with just you and No-Name. I don't need five million babies, and there's no way in hell I'm having Juleka's. I'm not…she's my sister, Marinette. Fucking gross."
She threw another pillow at him. He didn't even try to catch that one.
"I don't want a house band, Luka!" she shouted, standing up. "I just want to get through this one!"
"Ok, fine, we –" he started, but she was reaching for another pillow. Why did they have so many pillows? "Marinette!"
"Leave me alone you…you…sisterfucker!" she snapped, turning and heading towards their room.
"Oh, come on!" he cried. He groaned when the door slammed behind her. He dropped onto the couch, propped his elbows on his knees, shoved his hands into his hair, and tugged. This was not the anniversary dinner he had pla…dinner. He groaned again when he remembered their dinner – their nice, fancy dinner that he had worked so hard on – was splattered all over the kitchen floor.
…he had used the fancy casserole dish, too. The one her parents had given them for their wedding. Because it was a special occasion. He prayed it wasn't broken, too. She was going to murder him if it was.
He wasn't sure what was worse: that he didn't know if his wife was going to talk to him the rest of the night or that they'd probably be having pizza on their anniversary.
He dropped his arms and sat up, looking to their bedroom door (where he could still hear Marinette crying, damn it). His eyes caught on the kwamis still watching him nervously (minus one red bug, who he was sure was with her Chosen).
None of them said a word. Not even his kwami. He supposed that was a good thing, as he didn't know what he would tell them if they did. He didn't even know what to tell himself. Marinette had completely bypassed Baby Brain and gone straight to Bat-Shit Crazy.
Luka sighed and flopped back on the couch, choosing for the moment to ignore them. It was officially their worst anniversary ever – and that was saying something, considering that one where they almost sunk his ma's boat. (Well, the akuma had, which was pretty much the only reason the Liberty wasn't still at the bottom of the Seine.) He turned his head when he heard Sass's hissing laugh by his ear. He was sorely tempted to flick him.
"Sass, buddy," he said, his voice almost whining and definitely begging, "is there any way we can Second Chance ourselves into the future? I need that kid out of her like two weeks ago."
The little shit just kept laughing at him.
The 'dreams', in order of appearance:
(Running with the theme of 'Ten Years', there were supposed to be ten dreams/fics – but Naga Saga & Winters I kinda doubled, so there's technically eleven. Ok I doubled Angie and the Band, too, so...twelve? I'm not a math person I can't count. xD The Pit hates links, but all the fics are up on the Archive (and if you check out this fic there, they're already linked!)
Hey Stupid by verfound
Guard My Heart by Quickspinner
See the Light by mintaka14
Miraculous Ladybug 04x01 "Truth" (because you can't always make this shit up)
Casualty of Timing by nerdypanda3126
All that Matters by feminaexlux
Palm of Your Hand by verfound
And Then, There Were Two by MalcolmReynolds
Winters Can be Lonely by verfound
The Storm was Over by verfound
All I Want for Christmas is a New Beginning by Quickspinner
The House Band Series by verfound