QUIRKFIGHT AT THE O.K. BUILDING

Izuku looked up at the building, four floors of glass and cement. Located right in the middle of the training area, it looked absolutely real, and Izuku found himself wondering, not for the first time, just how much money UA spent on this stuff.

Then again, better like this than how the Green Valley Clan did.

"So, Midoriya, you know those two, right?" Asui asked, breaking the silence.

"O-Oh, yes Asui."

"Call me Tsu." Asui replied.

"A-Ah, uhm, alright, I will try…" He replied, and the girl just looked at him without showing any particular emotion. 'The New Generation of Criminal Heroes…' Hiryu's voice repeated in his mind as he looked at her, but he shook his head. "So, what's your Quirk? We should probably share a plan, right?"

Tsuyu nodded. "My Quirk is Frog. I can climb walls, jump really high and far, my tongue is really long and strong, and I can produce a weakly toxic mucus." She coughed, "I can also expel my stomach to clean it, but that's hardly useful and quite disgusting, so…"

Izuku nodded, feeling excitement wash over him hearing about a new Quirk like this, "It's a really good Quirk! Mine is Superpower. I can boost my strength, but my limbs get damaged when I do, so it's more of a last resort."

Tsuyu nodded. Again. "So, any idea about what we should do- Midoriya?"

She noticed the teen mumble out loud to himself, "-and if we used that approach we could make it past Pony, but then Kacchan… No I think we should instead-"

"Midoriya?"

"-divide them because-"

"Midoriya?" She asked again, this time touching him lightly on the shoulder. He snapped out of it, blinking.

"Ah! So sorry As- Tsuyu! I was just thinking of a plan."

"Already?"

"W-Well, luckily I know Pony and Kacchan well, so I can think of a few ways to approach this." He smiled nervously, "I think I might have a plan."

Asui looked at him. "I'm listening."

-x-

Bakugo glanced out of the window, noticing the nerd busy talking with the other extra. He grinned. All they had to do was put the bomb out of the way, and then he could leave Horns to take care of it and go out to kill those two.

"I'm going out." He announced, walking toward the door, "You stay here and take care of the bomb."

"What?!" Horns asked, "No, you are not! I will go face the boss- I mean, Midoriya. You stay here and guard the bomb!"

Bakugo paused. He turned around slowly. "Who told you I would take orders, Horns?" He asked, feeling anger wash over him. Well, that wasn't really anything new, but damn did he hate extras that thought they could give orders.

"I-I need to speak to the b- to Midoriya, now! Got that?"

"I don't give a shit about your friendly squabble. I just want to show Deku he is still behind me."

"Two minutes!" All Might called from the intercom. Katsuki grimaced.

"I'm going out there."

"No, I am!" Pony shouted back.

"Why would I let you?" He taunted. Horns was being super annoying, but she surely didn't have an answer for-

He frowned, feeling something tickle his throat. "Tsunotori!" All Might's voice called loudly from the communicators.

Katsuki looked down, seeing a horn suspended right under his chin, barely a inch from his throat. "The fuck?!"

"My mom a-always say villains fight each other when they have a disagreement. They are easy picking like that. So, what will you do now, Katsuki Bakugo? If-If you move yo-you might blast me if I'm bluffing, or I m-might hit you first." She tried to make an intimidating grin, though it came off more as a nervous smile, "Feel lucky punk?"

Bakugo looked at the horn, and then casually pushed it away. "Uh, yes. You aren't going to kill me over an exercise."

-x-

Jiro smacked her face with her hand. She didn't know if she should laugh or cry at her friend's intimidation attempt. Jiro couldn't hear what she was saying, but it wasn't hard to guess what the gist was. "What the heck Pony…"

-x-

Pony gulped.

"Ah… Uhm, well, yes, b-but it was very realistic, right?" She called back the horn, that hovered around her head, "So, as you can see, uhm, I really want to face Izuku…"

"I don't give a shit."

"One minute!" All Might called.

Bakugo cracked his neck, "I'm goi-"

Pony's mind raced. Pulling her best intimidation hadn't worked – dammit, she had forgotten this was school for a second – and she couldn't really explain her reasons. Not like Bakugo would care-

He wouldn't care. But there was something he would care about. She rushed forward, past the surprised blonde, and started running down the corridor. "What the fuck are you doing, Horns?!"

"I'm going to find the bo- Izuku! If you follow me now, no one will be left to defend the bomb. What are you gonna do, leave it unguarded?"

Pony had heard a lot about Katsuki Bakugo in her time with Izuku. An awful lot actually, considering she had also learned fast to spot the teen during their group outings as 'the blonde we can't touch because the Clan protects him'. That was opposed to Kyoka's 'annoying blonde', that had only showed up once more and no one knew anything about, since Jiro was also the only one that had seen him.

From Masutaro she had learned Bakugo was a terrible spy that you could spot by simply standing two or three steps behind Himiko and the boss and looking around. She had also learned he was surprisingly easy to trick.

On the other hand, from Izuku she had learned that, in his words, he was someone that always wanted to win, a talented teen with skills in droves and only held back by anger issues and a lack of skills in cooperation. Someone that never wanted to lose.

And so, if he didn't want to lose, he had no choice but to be saddled with the bomb. "You bitch!"

"I'm not Himiko." She replied, before covering her mouth, "N-Not that she is or anything, you just always call her that and- dammit!"

-x-

Himiko stared at the screen, frowning.

"What is it?" Masutaro asked.

"I don't know, I feel like I'm being insulted."

"Well, it is Bakugo…"

Himiko grimaced, "Good point."

-x-

Izuku rushed through the corridor, trying his best to pretend he wasn't terrified. Kacchan could come out any second now, and even if he didn't Pony would be waiting for him. Normally that would have been the favorable option, but today it meant Izuku would probably get gutted by a horn. "Asui, did you make it?" He asked.

"Still looking. And I told you to call me Tsu." The voice of the frog girl replied.

"A-Ah, y-yes T-T-T-Tsuyu."

"… Work on it, Izuku." She replied, and Izuku stuttered again, before turning another corridor. The stairs had to be somewhere nearby, didn't they? Right around…

He ducked as something flew toward him, and reflexively tried to grab Kacchan's right arm that he expected to see move toward him in a right hook. Instead, he gripped air as a horn darted past his hands and flew toward a wall, planting itself in it.

"Booooss…" A voice said from the corridor in front of him. There were no windows, though he could make out the stairs at the end. And the figure in between that was calling for him, "Come and play boss…"

-x-

'He is dead.' Thought Jiro, who had now trained with Pony a few times and could tell when she was going all out.

'He is dead.' Thought Mustard, who had enough common sense to recognize an angry girl.

'He is dead.' Thought All Might, who had been trained by a scary woman before Gran Torino and was having some nasty flashbacks.

'That's hot.' Thought Mineta, who as usual couldn't read the room to save his life.

-x-

"He is dead." All seven vestiges mused. The other five ignored the cheery tone of First and Second.

-x-

"I'm dead." Izuku muttered, as another horn flew toward him. Unsure of what else to do, he ducked back into the corridor. He touched his ear, opening the communicator, "Asu- T-Tsuyu, I have good news and bad news."

"What's the good news?" The frog girl asked.

"Come back here!" Pony shouted from behind the teen.

There was a sound that seemed almost like a chuckle from the other side, "Alright, I think I understand. What's the bad news?"

"Kacchan is the one guarding the bomb." Izuku explained, "I'm not sure how Pony managed to, but he is stuck up there now. So…"

"No problem Izuku, just keep her busy." Asui replied. Izuku looked behind his back, two horns flying toward him and the girl running on all four like a horse to catch up with him.

"I think I can do that." He replied, closing the communicator and diving into a room. He rushed to the opposite side and jumped through the door on that wall, before slamming it behind as he moved on down the new corridor. From what he had seen, each floor of the building had three nort-south corridors that connected to the entrance and the stairs, plus two east-west corridors that intersected the three, forming a total of nine ten sections. It was a frankly absurd layout for a normal building, but the idea was probably to ensure the villains had ample space to hide the bomb as they saw fit. The rooms close to the center usually had two exits, while the others only had one, or one and the windows in the case of the external ones.

The ideal strategy was to keep Pony occupied here while Asui did her thing.

Which unfortunately meant making himself the target.

A horn passed by his hear, and Izuku felt a trickle of blood from the lobe. Nothing major, but it had managed to cut him.

"Alright Izuku, think, what do you do now? You can't really use your Quirk, so the only option is fighting Pony. Which is going to be tricky with the horns in the way…"

He took an uncertain breath.

There was a plan.

-x-

Pony kicked a door open, and there, in the center of the room, stood Izuku. She looked at him, preparing himself to fight her while standing next to a few crates.

"Found you, boss." She commented.

"Look, Pony, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry?! Sorry doesn't even start to cut it! Do you know what you did?!"

"I-I understand now. I do, but, I didn't know! No one ever prepared me for this…" Izuku started, but then saw a horn fly his way and was forced to duck.

"Bullshit, boss!" She shouted to him, her other horn taking a wider turn to try and pierce his back. Izuku ducked again, and the horn stuck itself in the wood of a crate. She moved the other one, "You never even tried!"

"Wh-What? No, I-I'm doing…"

"Your best?" She asked, "Boss, you aren't even trying to be the heir."

-x-

All Might had chosen the worst moment to drink some water, he realized as he choked the instant he heard that. He really wished he could hear Izuku's reply, but his earpiece had fallen earlier when a flying horn had hit his ear, so now he had only half the audio.

-x-

"I-I didn't want to be!"

"But you are! And nothing can change that!" Pony replied, "When we first met, and I found out who you were, I was… I was amazed."

"Because of my dad?" He asked, with the saddest face Pony had ever seen. His eyes were tearing up.

"No! No, what? It was because I could be friends with you! Because…" She bit her lip, remembering her earpiece – uh, lucky they hadn't said anything compromising before – and put a hand over it to muffle the sound, before hissing, "Because I thought I could be like mom with Nene. That I could be a confidant you would actually trust."

"I trust you, Pony!"

"Then why didn't you ever ask me anything! I knew you were green Nene told me, and I was so excited! I could help the future boss understand everything there was to know. But you never did, and that's why this mess happened!" Her horn flew toward Izuku once more, and he dodged to the side at the last second, the appendage stuck in the crate.

She gasped as both horns were now trapped, and Izuku instantly rushed forward to tackle her. "But I don't want to!" He said back to her as they rolled on the ground, Pony trying to set herself free and him trying to block her with capture tape.

"You haveto! You are the heir! The future boss! Your actions mean something to everyone. To other people like us, you are basically a future king!"

-x-

All Might blushed a bit. Ignoring for a moment that young Midoriya had told Pony about his role as heir of One for All – and he would have some words with him about it – it was touching to hear even in America his role as Symbol of Peace was held in such high regard. 'Basically a future king might be a bit much though…'

-x-

"B-But… But what if I don't want to?" He asked, his lips trembling.

"That ship has sailed, boss." Pony replied, feeling a bit bad. She had grown in the Green Valley Clan. She knew her mom had been a Hero despite being also a member, and she believed the two things didn't need to work separate. She was going to take on Villains and save more people than the Clan harmed, that had always been her dream. "You are the heir and you can't walk away from it."

But Izuku had never wanted this, and he was in a far worse position. She could always leave the Clan if she wanted. He couldn't, because then everyone else in the underworld would gun for him. Even without mentioning Himiko and Melissa's whole thing likely going south if Izuku wasn't the heir. After all, David approved right now because he wanted Mel to have the best husband possible. Mel herself… Pony couldn't tell, but she had shown at least that she wasn't opposed to it, and as her best friend Pony was going to do her best.

"I know…" Izuku murmured, as she tried to push him off only for him to hold her tighter and try once again to tie her with the tape, "I just… I just thought I could ignore it, you know? That I could be the heir in name only."

"Look, boss. It's not entirely your fault. The person that had to teach you clearly didn't do a good job."

-x-

All Might coughed. Ugh, yeah, maybe he hadn't been the best at giving Izuku a needed instruction. He still couldn't hear what young Midoriya was saying to each other, because the sound was muffled by the constant struggling, but he could hear Tsunotori's answers.

-x-

Izuku leaned in to try and pin her down with an elbow, but Pony rolled to the side and he was forced to place his head in the space between head and shoulder to keep her from shuffling free.

"Yeah, he didn't really do much to explain."

-x-

Alright, he had heard that, since the mouth was right next to the earpiece. Ouch.

'I will look into it. Maybe I should call Gra-' He shivered, 'Gra-' he shivered again, 'My old teacher.'

-x-

"I can help you boss." She replied, "Let me."

Izuku hesitated, "Because you have to?"

"Because I want to. We are friends." Pony replied, and he felt tears surge in his eyes.

"Thank you." He replied, and in that moment he managed to close the tape around her arm.

-x-

Everyone else in the class had no way to hear what the two had said. All they had seen was Pony attacking with the horn, and then the two rolling all over each other on the floor as Izuku tried to tape Tsunotori by pushing and pulling the capture tape around her arms, legs, bust and hips – the latter two of course only because he was trying to get a grip. No one believed Midoriya was trying anything untoward.

No one said anything for a long moment, as All Might declared that Tsunotori was captured and out.

Mineta opened his mouth to make a comment, but before he could, Masutaro did.

"You know, that looked weirdly sexual." He commented. He then felt watched and looked around to see everyone stare at him. "What? You were all thinking that."

Jiro slapped him on the back of the head, though she pointedly hid her own blush. "Shut up." She hissed.

-x-

"That useless extra!" Bakugo shouted, kicking a piece of the floor that had come loose. Dammit, he fucking knew that he should have been the one to go after the nerd. The bastard might have been just a useless nerd, but that stupid secret Quirk of his was probably good enough to let him bullshit a win.

He grimaced and walked once again out of the room and into the corridor, stalking the hallway to the stairs and then back. They had chosen the fourth floor because it was the only one where the place wasn't some sort of dumb maze. Instead it had one big storage room, one door, and a corridor that went around said storage room and to the stairs. No windows, and so long as you weren't dumb enough to walk out of sight of the door you could keep an eye on who was coming.

Of course, the entire thing had been his plan, Horns had just nodded dumbly.

He looked at the stairs. Where was the nerd now? He would have to take both of them down now, both him and the girl that…

Uh, thinking about, where was the other extra? He hadn't seen her since the beginning of the exercise. 'Probably cowering somewhere in fear or some bullshit like that. Or maybe she was the one that took out Horns. That would make more sense than Deku doing it…'

The more he thought about it, the more convincing the idea was. Of course the Nerd couldn't win on his own, so they must have ganged up on Horns and caught her like that. Probably a good strategy, though it would have never worked if he and Horns had been switched. He would have just turned both of them into toothpaste.

"Of course now I will have to do all the work." He growled again, as he looked at the stairs, "Will you get here already?!"

"The Hero Team wins!" All Might declared, "Good job everyone."

Katsuki froze.

He took a deep breath.

" What the fuck?!"

-x-

"That was amazing Tsuyu!" Uraraka cheered, as the girl walked into the room.

"An excellent strategy, Asui." Yaoyorozu nodded.

"Ribbit, it wasn't really me." She pointed at Izuku, who was entering in that moment, "Izuku was the one that thought of the plan. Or I should say, plans."

"Wait, you had multiple?" Kirishima asked, "That's so manly bro!"

"No it wasn't manly do you know what that word means?" Kaminari asked.

"Bro, my mom always says that having multiple plans is really important for a man." The red head replied.

"… I'm not sure she meant this. Anyway," Denki pointed at Bakugo, who was also walking in, "You didn't do anything- urgh!"

"Want to see how much anything I can't do to your mug?" Bakugo roared, holding his face with one hand, the other one moving toward the pin on the top of one of his grenade gauntlet.

"Ahem." All Might coughed, "Please, come here everyone."

Katsuki snarled and let him go, before walking to the stage, standing next to Tsunotori, who waved at him with a tentative smile. He looked away, and she pouted at that, with Izuku next to her apologizing on his behalf.

"Alright, let's start reviewing. First of all class, who do you think was the MVP in this match?" He waited. He had an answer of course, but wanted to hear what the students would think, "Yes, Yaoyorozu."

"I think the MVP was Asui. She handled her part of the plan very well, and considering it was the most dangerous – no offense to Midoriya – I think she deserves the title."

"Correct." All Might turned at the screen, and everyone watched it as the image appeared. Tsuyu had climbed up the building until she had identified the room where Katsuki and the bomb were, by spotting Katsuki walk up and down the corridor in anger. Then, she had moved to the opposite side of the floor. Using her ability to stick to walls, the same one she had used to climb in the first place, she had then opened a window by carefully breaking it and removing the pieces with her gloves, snuck inside, and climbed on the side of the wall all the way around, carefully avoiding to make any sound and laying in wait. Once Bakugo had left the room again to check outside, she had snuck in and then recovered the bomb.

"An excellent execution of young Midoriya's plan!" All Might declared. He noticed young Bakugo stare at the screen in disbelief.

"Meanwhile, mist- Bakugo failed at his duty as guard because he didn't expect anyone to come in from another side that weren't the stairs, most likely thinking everyone would fight hand to hand." She awkwardly looked at him, "Sorry. Midoriya used himself as bait, but took quite a long time to capture Pony. If he hadn't managed to and something had gone wrong with As- Tsuyu's operation, she would have been alone and they would have lost. He was still probably the second best. As for miss- for Tsunotori… I'm sorry, but I think your choice to go out was flawed, and you also just wanted to confront Midoriya it seemed. You shouldn't have let a personal disagreement color your judgment."

"Good points. Good points." All Might nodded. Well, that was actually more than he had expected, "I will however say that both young Tsunotori and young Midoriya put up a good fight. As for young Bakugo, I hope this serves as a lesson."

The teen snarled, and All Might sighed. He would have to talk with him. Wounded pride always led to bad outcomes if not treated.

And he also needed to talk with young Midoriya, something they hadn't done in a while, considering he had been busy settling in as a teacher.

Glancing at Tsunotori, he realized they had a lot to talk about.

-x-

Shigaraki grinned wildly as he stepped on stage. The crowd of ne'er-do-wells was made up of essentially only D and C-tier Villains, but for his plan they were exactly what he needed: cannon fodder.

Now came the part he had been preparing for years: winning them over with his great personality and incredible skills as an orator.

A simple task. He had played so many strategy games he knew perfectly how to approach an army. Mostly by right clicking on it and then on the target, but eh, details. He would kill this. He was the true heir of All for One after all, even if he was undergoing a shitty sub-quest right now.

"Hello everyone!" He said, and people turned toward him. Alright, so, maybe the games didn't quite sell how weird it was for one hundred people to look directly at you. He was used to like, five people, tops, but eh, this would still be easy.

He just needed to recall all the advice his father had given him in preparation for this day.

'Remember Tomura, when talking to a crowd, just clench your butt cheeks and wing it.'

Goddammit.

"Sooooo…" He looked at the crowd, thinking of a way to break the ice. Fuck, this sounded easy when he was in his room. Wait, of course, just ask about something relatable. "Any of you here plays videogames?" There was a silence for a long moment, before a guy with a metallic helmet and guns for fingers raised his hand. "Yes? You, Helmet Guy."

"My name is Victor."

"That's nice. What was the question, Helmet Guy?"

"Uhm… What is the plan?"

Shigaraki nodded. Yes. The plan. The plan that he had meticulously prepared. It was time to show those NPCs why he was the one leading the quest.

"So, tomorrow we will confirm where All Might when All Might will have his next lesson at the USJ-"

"Shouldn't you have confirmed that sooner?" A big guy with large horns asked.

"I-"

"And who is going to sneak into UA to confirm everything?" A woman with gorilla arms asked a moment later.

"Well-"

"I heard there were going to be appetizers, where are they?" A large guy with grey skin, no eyes and the mouth of a lamprey asked.

Shigaraki stared at him, "To your left, didn't you see them?"

"Wow, rude." He said, gesturing at his eyes, or lack thereof.

"Oh, fuck, I should have known considering my dad, my bad- Wait we are going off-topic here! Anyway, don't worry, we will take care of the timing, alright? You just have to be ready to go into action at any time."

A lean man with dark brown hair and a pair of pointed shades raised his hand, and when Shigaraki sighed in exasperation took it as a cue to ask a question, "So, uhm, my cousin is getting married next week, can I confirm or…"

"Yes, you should make it, if you don't get caught, alright?"

"Thanks man." He pulled out his phone and started typing something. Tomura felt the need to bash someone's head in.

"Anyway, we are going to enter the USJ, then Tesla here," He gestured toward a tall guy with a white mask shaped like a skull, "Will block communications with his Quirk. After that, you take care of the children and the other teachers, while I take care of All Might."

"Wait, you take care of All Might? Won't he just snap you in two like a twig?" A man with a venus fly trap for head asked.

"It's a figure of speech, we actually have someone that will take care of him. Kurogiri, show them Nomu." He pointed to Kurogiri, and a moment later next to him stood the large bulging figure of a creature with the brain exposed, a large beak-like mouth filled with large, pointy teeth, and a physique that would have made most men look inadequate. "Any other questions?" Shigaraki asked, smiling. It had started shaky, but now there was no way anyone could doubt that-

"So, uhm, I have a question." A muscular man with long brown hair and a white spot surrounded by black in place of an eye asked, "Isn't the fact his brain is exposed a pretty big fucking weakness?"

"Oh thank god someone asked."

"Yeah, I thought I would be the only one that wanted to know that."

Tomura sighed, "Well you see, there is an obvious explanation for why he needs his brain exposed, and that is…" He trailed off. Uh. "Kurogiri, why the fuck do Noumu have an exposed brain?" He hissed at the fog Noumu.

"I don't know, character design I guess?" Kurogiri answered back.

Tomura's hands trembled as he just stared at the Noumu, before coughing in his fist.

"Anyway," Tomura turned to the crowd, "Don't worry about it. If things go badly, Kurogiri will take you all out of there too. Just do your best and kill some kids."

"I don't know man, that's kinda fucked up, can we just knock them out?" A lanky man with purple-grey skin wearing what looked like a bronze viking helmet asked. One-hundred pair of eyes turned toward him. "Jesus, I'm just saying…"

"Alright, for that, you get sent to the earthquake zone." Tomura said.

"Owww…"

"Alright, so, any other question?" He asked the crowd for, hopefully, the last time.

"Yeah, I have one. Should we call you by some codename, boss?"

Tomura smiled. "Of course, you can call me…" Here it came. The moment to choose his alias. Something that would strike fear in the heart of the masses like All for One.

His villain name…

Uh…

Uhm…

Fuck.

"Oh shit, look at the time. I'll let you guys decide. See you in a few days." He said quickly, stepping right through Kurogiri.

The assorted Villains looked at each other. For a long moment, no one spoke, before Tesla looked in the eyes of all his comrades.

"So everyone agrees on Handjob, right?"

"Yup."

"Ah-ah."

"Yeah."

The assent of the crowd was overwhelmingly positive. To be fair, if Shigaraki wanted a name, he should have asked a group that included names like Chomper, Hard Head and Greedy Gaping Jaw, or where the person with the best name didn't use a name they had just picked a foreign name.

'Well, his loss.'

(xx)

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! Santa Darken is here with a new chapter of False Love.

A talk that was very much needed between Pony and Izuku, and Bakugo finding out that playing defensive is harder than it looks.

Honestly, if you think about it, for a year Izuku has been in the Green Valley Clan basically scot-free. Sooner or later he should have looked into it.

Every Villain in that last part is canon(ish), the mooks from the USJ are given names in the mobile game. I guess that means Shigaraki is right at calling them NPCs?

Also I swear in this fic Shigaraki isn't a clown but the entire circus. I don't know why but every part I write with him comes out more hilarious.

Godspeed Handjob, godspeed.