Grief, Liara had found, was an ongoing process, ever evolving. Some days it was a dull ache, ever-present but not overwhelming. Others it was crippling, and it consumed her. And the former only required the slightest trigger to morph into the latter- turning to share a thought with Shepard, only to realize that she wasn't there, and never would be again had been enough to do it more than once. Another time all it had taken was Shepard's dog tags shifting where they lay concealed under her shirt, and Liara had nearly dissolved into tears in the middle of the presidium.

Right now, it burned inside her like a bonfire, hot and crackling, tempered by the curiosity that smoldered alongside it, thanks to her current predicament. She glanced over at the sullen drell that sat in the locked room with her. Omega hadn't been dull so far, at least.

Feron caught her scrutinizing stare and returned it with his own. "This is why I told you it's better to let the dead sleep," he muttered, gesturing at the symbol emblazoned on the wall. "Nothing good comes from colluding with Cerberus. Especially if you're not human."

Cerberus, Liara mused. They'd had a few run-ins with the organization while they were hunting Saren down. Nothing as organized as what they seemed to have here, though, just some fringe cells that Shepard and her team had taken down without too much effort. She shrugged, forcing her thoughts back to the present. Feron had spent nearly all of their time in this room extolling her on why this was a bad idea, but Liara was already too far into this to let anything deter her. "Need I remind you that you are the one who contacted me? Why bother with the effort if all you're going to do is try to dissuade me?"

Any reply Feron might have given her was interrupted as the door to the room hissed open and the human that had introduced herself as Miranda entered, her previous escort of two armed guards now absent. "Our leader will see you now, Liara."

Liara rose without hesitation, her curiosity at this entire situation now fully engaged. Feron settled back against the wall stubbornly. "No thanks, I'll stay."

Miranda didn't even turn to look at him as she led Liara from the room. "That's good, because I didn't ask you." The door locked again behind them, and Liara followed her down the hallway in silence. Miranda stopped in front of another door and palmed the keypad next to it. It slid open to reveal a mostly dark room, lit only by a glowing ring on the floor in the center. Liara looked at the human dubiously, but Miranda offered her a small smile and ushered her in. "Right that way. You'll see." Taking a deep breath, Liara stepped into the room and into the circle.

Scan lines of light appeared from every direction, sweeping her from head to toe in a glowing grid. Liara squinted against the sudden brightness as a holo array came to life before her and a human appeared, seated in a chair facing away from her. A star burned in the background, shifting red to blue and back again. A simulation of some kind? Liara had never even heard of a star doing such a thing.

"Doctor Liara T'Soni," the man drawled, and spun the chair to face her. The projection was remarkably life-like, and Liara was taken aback by the blue cybernetic eyes that glowed back at her.

"You seem to have me at a disadvantage," she replied coolly.

"You may call me the Illusive Man," he said, lazily flicking the end of the cigarette he held in one hand. "And I'm hoping we can be… friends."

Liara quirked up the facial marking that so many humans mistook for an eyebrow. "My previous dealings with your organization haven't indicated any desire for friendship with aliens."

"Your previous dealings were with splinter cells that were no longer acting within my purview." Not a direct answer, but not a denial either, Liara noted. "And while I do prioritize humanity's best interests, you and I share a common interest right now." Smoke drifted up from his cigarette, obscuring his face for a moment. "I know you and your drell friend are looking for Shepard."

It took all of Liara's self-control to keep her face passive, to not reveal that her breath caught in her throat and her heart still skipped a few beats just at the mention of her bondmate's name. She clamped down on her emotions, shoving them away. Grief would not drive her to her knees. Not here, not now. Instead, she focused on the implied message in the Illusive Man's words. Feron had been the only person she'd spoken to since arriving on Omega, until Miranda had showed up. So if Liara hadn't been the one to leak that little bit of information, Feron had. When she spoke, she thanked the Goddess that her voice didn't quiver. "What's your interest in her?"

The Illusive Man put his cigarette to his mouth, taking a long drag of it before he answered her. "Shepard is a beacon for humanity. A shining example of all that we're capable of. A symbol of hope."

"You talk about her as if she's still alive."

He smiled shrewdly. "Death needn't be so final as everyone believes it to be, Doctor. Regardless, our intel on the issue implies that the Shadow Broker also wants Shepard because he's cut a deal with the Collectors."

Liara's eyes narrowed. "The Collector's are nothing more than slavers. It seems a stretch that they would be interested in a corpse." Unless she's not dead. Unless she somehow…

But no. Liara had felt Shepard die, had felt that connection between the two of them be severed. She had no doubt that whatever was recovered, it was only Shepard's shell.

"Be that as it may, my intel is solid. And even if we only recover her body, it's a better alternative than letting the Collector's have her. That's why we need you to get to her before they do." Those electric blue eyes were piercing, evaluating.

"Why me?" Liara asked, her curiosity getting the better of her again. She was already ensnared in this, already wanted to agree, but didn't want to look like she was as desperate as she actually was. "You don't seem to be lacking in manpower or resources. Surely you have people qualified for this job."

"None of them have the… motivation that you do." Another drag of his cigarette, another smile that reminded Liara of a varren bearing its teeth. "I know what Shepard was to you, and what you were to her. Nothing drives someone quite like a personal ambition. Can I count on you?"

He had her there, Liara admitted to herself, even though she was loath to. She remembered her words to Shepard, when the Spectre had received the assignment for them to flush the geth out of the Terminus Systems.

"I will follow you to the ends of the galaxy," she murmured. "If you believe in nothing else, believe in this. Believe in us."

Goddess help her, she still believed.

Liara made her decision, squared her jaw, met those unnatural eyes. "You can count on nothing," she said, her voice somewhere between a whisper and a hiss. "But Shepard can."

The twisted smile turned to a satisfied one. "That's the only promise I need." He swiveled his chair around back to the terminal behind him, punching in a few commands. "Miranda will provide you with a ship and any provisions you might need. I'd recommend keeping the drell, as I'm sure he can provide you with more information than what he already has, though that will be at your discretion. Good luck, Doctor."

Before Liara could even open her mouth to respond, the hologram disappeared, and the room went dark again. As if on cue the door behind her slid open, Miranda's shadow falling across her as light spilled in. Liara stepped out into the hallway, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.

What did I just agree to?

"Last chance to reconsider," Feron told her as he fired up the ship's engines. The last few hours had been a blur of time spent in Afterlife talking to no one other than Aria T'Loak herself, chasing down more Blue Suns, and watching as the mercenaries escaped with the cryo pod that supposedly held Shepard's body. The adrenaline had kept Liara focused on the now. But now it was fading, and the grief was coming back to haunt her. That dull ache for the moment, though how long it would stay like that, she couldn't say. So close… they'd been so close.

"I can't walk away from this," Liara murmured as the thrusters fired and the ship launched out into space. If I was whole… perhaps I could. But half of my soul is gone… I can't turn away now. Part of her longed to dig into her footlocker, pull out the items that were carefully hidden away at the bottom. She hadn't looked at them since leaving Alchera, though the temptation had arisen several times. This was neither the time nor the place to give in though, and she pushed the desire down and locked it away in the deepest depths of her heart. "I'll recover Shepard's body or die trying."

Feron only grunted in response. "Approaching the relay. Enroute to Alingon." He paused for a moment, then glanced over his shoulder at where she sat. "I hope you understand what you're getting yourself into."

"I do. Whatever it takes." Liara hadn't felt this sense of purpose since she'd lost what had become her home.

Just so I can say good-bye.

The ship was hauntingly silent without Feron. Not that the drell had been very talkative, but without him sitting in the pilot's chair, Liara had no distractions. She was exhausted from overtaxing her biotics, aching from combat, and distraught that she had left someone behind again. She was alone with her thoughts.

And right now she was trying very hard to not think about the body that was encased in the cryopod in the cargo area. But after she'd laid in the rendezvous coordinates that Miranda had provided and began the journey to the nearest relay… There wasn't really anything else to focus on.

She let her head loll back against the chair's headrest, trying to center herself and gather what little remained of her strength. She had to look. She had to know. Slowly, she levered herself out of the chair and moved toward the rear of the ship.

Liara crept up to the cryopod as if it were a feral animal and she was afraid of spooking it. She reached a trembling hand out, sliding back the door to the access panel with eyes closed, and took a deep breath before opening them. Hesitantly, she looked down at the data readout. She thought she was prepared for whatever it would say.

She wasn't.

No heartbeat. No blood pressure. No brain waves. No life signs at all.

Shepard was well, and truly… dead.

Gone. She's gone.

A choked sob tore its way from her throat, and for a moment Liara didn't realize that the sound had come from her. She collapsed on top of the cryopod, tears cascading down her face, cursing the fact that she'd let herself hope. She'd known better. She'd felt the exact moment that Shepard had ceased to exist. Part of her had died at the same time.

But she'd still let herself hope, and now she was paying the price. Against her will, her memories came, and she was swept under in the force of their current.

"Have I ever told you how fucking gorgeous you are?" Shepard whispered, lips tracing gently across her cheek to claim her lips as they lay tangled together in bed, glowing in the aftermath of their lovemaking.

Those words never failed to make Liara blush, no matter how often her bondmate said them. "Every day," she whispered back, cheeks and neck tinged purple.

"That's it? I'll have to work on that," Shepard mused jokingly. "It should be at least three times a day. Probably more."

Liara laughed softly, running her fingers through Shepard's hair. "Flatterer."

Shepard grinned. "I try." She planted a kiss on Liara's nose. "Don't make any plans for tonight. I have a surprise."

"Oh? Something to do with why you were so excited when we picked up that last supply cache?" Liara teased.

"I told you no peeking!" Shepard protested. "It's hard to keep secrets from you."

"I didn't," Liara reassured her, kissing her on the corner of the mouth. "But you've been nearly vibrating with energy ever since. Do I get a hint?"

"Nope," Shepard said, eyes twinkling with mischief. "You're just gonna have to wait and see. Maybe it'll be motivation to kill geth faster."

Liara whacked her bondmate playfully on the arm. "Just because I refuse to join your ridiculous game with Garrus to see who can rack up the highest kill count…"

Shepard laughed then, and Liara let the sound wash over her soul. Moments like these were what she lived for, when the soldier was gone and everything that Shepard was shone through so brightly.

"Commander, we're about an hour out from Alchera. Starting the sweep now." Joker's voice over the intercom brought them back to the real world, and Shepard sighed.

"Duty calls," she said, a hint of mourning in her voice, and leaned in to capture Liara's lips one last time. "I love you, you know."

"I love you, too."

The memory faded, and Liara found herself sitting on the cold metal floor, back pressed against the cryopod, reflecting on things remembered. Her mind made the connection now, between the velvet box she'd found in the wreckage of the Normandy and Shepard's planned surprise. Every time she thought that she'd reached the bottom of the depths of her grief, the floor dropped out from under her and she fell lower.

"The answer would have been yes, my love," Liara whispered, one hand pressed hard against the cryopod. "A million times over, it would have been yes." Her heart broke all over again, mourning for the connection that she missed so terribly, and the lost chance to pledge herself to her other half for life.

She stood with some effort, tears still falling silently down her cheeks, and gazed down at the viewing window on top of the pod. It was mostly frosted over, though Liara could make out the hazy outline of the N7 logo if she kept the tears at bay for a few seconds. That was proof enough for her of the pod's contents. Someone else might have cracked the pod open, needing to see… But Liara had seen what vacuum exposure did to soft bodies that weren't meant for it. And if Shepard's body had fallen through the atmosphere to Alchera's surface… Nothing would be recognizable. It would be as pointless as trying to meld with the shell that lay inside.

Instead, she just stood there above the pod, tears dripping off her face and onto its surface as her already broken heart fractured into even more pieces. "Good-bye, Krae," she whispered, and tore herself away to walk back to the cockpit.

Liara stood in the viewing chamber of the Cerberus facility, watching as a team of technicians swarmed first the cryopod and then Shepard's body. It was a small mercy that there were so many of them that she couldn't really see anything, she knew… The few glimpses that she'd caught were of charred limbs, burned and damaged beyond any recognition. She wasn't sure why she was still watching. Even if this effort- Project Lazarus, Miranda had called it- was successful… Liara doubted they would be able to bring back the essence of everything Shepard had been.

The door hissed open behind her, and Liara turned away from the window. Miranda held out the package in her arms. "As requested. Your payment has also been forwarded to your account."

Liara took the cloth-wrapped bundle gingerly, reverently, and wrapped both arms around it as she hugged it to her chest. One more piece of Shepard that she would be able to keep with her. If she had nothing else, she would have her memories. "Thank you," she murmured, glad that she had no tears left to cry right now. She looked up, met Miranda's gaze, and against her better judgment she spoke. "If you are successful…"

"When," Miranda corrected.

Liara shook her head stubbornly, refusing to give herself any hope lest she break all over again, and continued. "Will you contact me?"

Miranda gazed at her for a moment, scrutinizing, before her eyes softened and she nodded. "It's going to take time, but I have that in abundance. I will bring her back. Where will you go?"

Liara looked away, eyes focused on some unseen object in the distance. She'd already made this decision on the way here. She couldn't do anything else for Shepard, but she could help Feron. It would also take time, she knew. She'd need to make connections, foster relationships to get what she needed, and there was only one place where she would be able to do what she needed. The payment she'd received from Cerberus was more than enough to get her started.

And maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to find out what the Collector's had wanted with Shepard's body in the first place.

"Ilium."