Shepard needs you. We're on Omega if you can get away. -M.L. .
Liara frowned at the encrypted transmission. Paired with the feelings of distress she'd been feeling from her connection to her bondmate the last few days, it was concerning, and she couldn't help but wonder what had happened. Her reports had indicated something in the Viper Nebula, though specifics were strangely hard to come by. And Shepard hadn't been answering her vidcomms. Liara had thought that perhaps it was just a case of bad timing, but if Miranda was asking her to come…
On my way. -L Liara sent off her reply and snapped the screen of her data terminal closed. Her research would wait. Shepard was more important, and Feron could handle the network by himself for a few days.
Miranda was waiting in the CIC when Liara stepped through the Normandy's airlock. Silently, she followed the Cerberus operative to the elevator, only speaking when the door had slid shut.
"What happened?" she asked softly. "Everything has been strangely silent."
Miranda's expression was pinched. "We were trying to keep it that way until we'd gotten far enough away. Shepard… Well. She crashed an asteroid into the Alpha Relay." As Liara's eyes widened in horror, Miranda hastened to continue. "There wasn't much of an option. If it hadn't been destroyed the Reapers would have come through it. She bought us some more time. But the consequences…"
"How bad?" Liara whispered, mouth dry as her mind raced to process the information she'd just been given.
"Bad." Miranda sagged back against the wall. "It took the entire Bahak system with it… I don't even know how many Batarians were lost, yet. And Shepard…"
Liara nodded as the elevator came to a stop and the door slid open to reveal the door to Shepard's cabin, knowing exactly how her bondmate would react. "She's blaming herself."
"Yeah." Miranda tapped at her omni-tool, and the glowing red lock on the door turned green. "She deserves better, but we… don't have a lot of time, Liara. If there's anything you can do to help her…"
It was strange, Liara reflected, how her relationship with Miranda had evolved, and how Miranda herself had changed after so long in close proximity with Shepard. "I'll do my best," she answered softly, and stepped off the elevator and walked into the cabin.
Shepard was sitting at her desk, back to the door. A half-empty glass of whiskey sat near one hand, and model ship parts were strewn across the surface in front of her. From this close, Liara could nearly feel the emotions rolling off of Shepard in waves. Under other circumstances, her bondmate would have realized that she was here, thanks to their connnection, but her emotions were likely distracting her from it. Liara watched as the muscles in Shepard's shoulders tensed at the sound of the cabin door. "Miranda," she growled, starting to turn, "I said I wanted to be-"
"Alone?" Liara finished the sentence, and Shepard whirled the rest of the way around, mouth agape in astonishment as Liara closed the distance between them. "I can leave if that's what you really want…" she teased gently.
"No," Shepard croaked, standing and pulling Liara into her arms. Liara tucked her head against Shepard's chest and wrapped her arms around her bondmate, and felt the sigh of relief that escaped her. "Please, no." They stood there for a few moments, simply existing together, before Shepard finally exhaled softly and Liara felt more of the tension leech from her body. "Miranda?"
"Yes. And you weren't answering my calls," Liara admonished, though there was no bite to her words, merely curiosity. "I could feel that something was wrong, you know."
Shepard flinched. "I'm sorry. I didn't want-"
Liara silenced her, threading a hand into her hair and pulling her down to kiss her until she felt the commander's body start to soften. "I don't want you to hide from me, Krae," she whispered, letting her hand slip from crimson hair to caress her bondmate's cheek. "You don't need to protect me from everything. Let me help." It was hard for Shepard, she knew. Save the galaxy, protect the innocent. Sometimes it was hard for her to forget that someone had to protect her.
Shepard took a shuddering breath, leaning into Liara's hand. Despite the conflict written on her face, she nodded, not letting her gaze leave Liara's. "Ok," she said softly. "Ok."
Liara slipped from Shepard's embrace, taking her bondmate by the hand and pulling her over to the bed. "Sit," she said gently, and when Shepard complied she knelt, quickly unlacing her boots and pulling them off. Her own followed, and then she pulled Shepard the rest of the way onto the bed with her. They settled in against one another, foreheads touching, legs intertwined. Liara slipped one hand back into Shepard's hair, gently playing with the silken strands, and took one of Shepard's hands in her other. Her bondmate's fingers laced into hers, and Liara leaned in to kiss her once more before gently reaching her mind out to touch Shepard's.
There was a moment's hesitation before Shepard's mind opened to hers, surrendering, needing the intrinsic contact that only her bondmate could provide. Shepard's sorrow was so profound that it stole Liara's breath for a moment, and she could feel the additional regret at that, but Liara soothed it away and pulled them deeper into the meld. Here, with their nervous systems so closely aligned, Liara could ease Shepard's pain, share it with her, even if only temporarily.
But even joined as they were, part of Shepard's psyche clung tenaciously to the worst of the pain, trying to shield Liara from it. Trying to protect her from…
Monster.
Liara felt her brow furrow in confusion, and she cradled Shepard's mind with love. I don't understand.
Shepard's emotions were nearly tangible, a maelstrom of pain, regret, anguish, sorrow, and fear. Liara could feel the commander's body tremble against hers as she tried to shield the asari from it, tried to keep her from being swept away in the storm. I am what Cerberus made me.
Liara understood, then, what Shepard meant, and knew a different tack was necessary. Humming softly in concentration, she reshaped the meld around them. Satisfied with her work, she gave her bondmate a mental nudge. Open your eyes.
Shepard complied, even though she exuded confusion at the request, and Liara was rewarded when the commander's breath caught for a moment as she took in their new surroundings. They sat on a blanket on the beach together, waves crashing gently into the shore, sea birds flying overhead as the sun made a slow descent towards the water. "It's beautiful," Shepard whispered. "Where are we?"
"Thessia." Liara scooted closer to her bondmate, leaning in to rest her head on her shoulder. "A beach near where I grew up. At least as I remember it." Shepard's arm wrapped around her, pulling her in a little closer, and Liara smiled as she felt her bondmate begin to relax again. "Talk to me?" When Shepard started to protest, Liara spoke again, interrupting her. "You have been so much of my strength, Krae… Let me be yours. Please?"
She felt more than heard Shepard's deep sigh. Silence stretched between them for a few moments before the commander finally spoke. "The Illusive Man praised me for destroying the relay. I destroyed an entire batarian colony, nearly committed genocide… and he congratulated me." Shepard's eyes hardened as she stared out over the surf. "They rebuilt me from the ground up. Am I even human anymore? What if… What if all I am now is a murderer? Because they needed someone to do their dirty work?" She ground the words out, and Liara felt the pain that came with them.
"You were faced with an impossible choice," Liara replied softly, shifting herself to Shepard's lap, straddling her legs. She slipped her arms around her bondmate's neck. "There was no good option, love. Destroy the relay or let the Reapers through? You made the decision you had to." Shepard's arms wrapped around Liara's waist, and the commander buried her face in the crook of Liara's neck. Feeling Shepard's defenses beginning to soften, Liara continued. "Cerberus may have rebuilt you, but they do not control you, and you are the same person you always have been. I knew that the instant my mind touched yours again." She laid a hand gently on Shepard's chest. "There is blood in your veins. Your heart still beats. And the fact that it aches for your actions is proof that you are not a monster, Krae." She leaned in, kissing Shepard softly on the cheek. "That you hurt means you are human. So feel the pain. But don't let it consume you."
Shepard's arms tightened around her, pulling their bodies together, and Liara slipped her hands into her bondmate's hair, stroking it soothingly as Shepard finally surrendered her final defenses. Their constructed world began to fall away as Shepard's emotions washed over them in waves, one after another, and Liara could feel her bondmate's worry that it would drown them both. This was a different kind of grief than Shepard was used to, she knew. She'd mourned after Akuze, but the loss of her squad there hadn't been a direct result of her own actions. This was different. Raw.
But Liara had learned how to deal with grief, and pain, and everything that had come with it when Shepard had died, and that meant that she could stand in this vortex. She clung to Shepard, and Shepard to her, and together they weathered the storm that poured out of Shepard's very being, stood fast as the crests surged over them. And when the outpouring finally began to wane, Liara helped her bondmate temper the pain that still lingered, focus it into resolve.
Finally satisfied, Liara let the meld slowly dissolve, and together they came back to reality, still tangled in each other's embrace. Tears drenched both of their faces, but Shepard's green eyes were clear and bright as she reached up to touch Liara's cheek. "You never cease to amaze me," she whispered, before leaning in to kiss the asari. "Thank you." Her gaze turned sorrowful again for a moment, but it didn't hold the depth of pain that it had held before, a note of apology in its place. "I told Hackett that I'd turn myself in, after the Collectors are taken care of." Which would mean more time spent apart, Liara knew, but even this, her sense of honor, was further proof that Shepard was who she had always been. Before she could respond, Shepard flashed a crooked grin at her. "But I'm sure I can make a detour, first."
"I should hope so," Liara teased, pulling Shepard in to steal another kiss. "I'm here now, though… When do you need to leave?"
"Not until morning," the commander murmured, her lips straying from Liara's as she rolled on top of her and found the sensitive spot just below her aural, eliciting a delighted gasp. "Samara's looking for intel on her daughter, she'll comm me when she's ready. Spend the night?"
"I thought you'd never ask." The room flashed with blue light as biotics snapped from Liara's hands, and this time it was she who grinned down at her bondmate as Shepard found their positions reversed. "We still have so much lost time to make up for, Commander."
The look on Shepard's face as she slipped her hands beneath Liara's shirt was pure adoration, and Liara knew a similar one adorned her own face. Tomorrow would come soon enough. Tonight… tonight they would just be.