Chapter 7
Cracked
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
Frederick Nietzsche, 1887
…..
If one's dream is a form of gateway to a realm beyond mortal comprehension that only the dreamer is capable of visiting, then the human imagination is limitlessly potent.
What happens to our mind, body, and soul as we close our eyes?
What pleasures, terrors, and visions await in this hypothetical ascended dreamscape collectively known as unconsciousness?
Dreams of grandeur, glimpse at the future, or visions of demons and torment?
Some or none, all for nothing, effort wasted on incompetence's inability.
Natsuki Subaru knows what he sees when he shuts his eyes.
Absolutely nothing. Floating in a suffocating space with nothing to accompany him.
Nothing good accompanying him.
His tougher-than-titanium resolve, physical capabilities, and a drive that overcame death itself; meaningless for a few hours a day.
He was familiar with this space.
He saw pieces of forgotten pasts and unknown histories whenever he fell asleep.
Countless deaths, abandonment at the hands of his closest friends, but a gradual understanding of what it means to be human.
His suffering couldn't be understandable; infinitely unknown, as death is incomprehensible to the mind.
Afterall, he knew Hell better than the back of his hands.
Something did accompany him as he curled up in his dreams. It certainly was no Angel, but nor a Demon.
Neither a benevolent or malevolent god or god-like figure.
She, or it by some, had a name and figure.
Surrounded by shadows, drowning in isolation, but existed solely for him.
Aishiteru
Why?
Aishiteru
Shut up
Aishiteru
Leave me alone!
Aishiteru
JUST SHUT UP
Aishiteru
JUST… let me die... please...
Her love for him made no sense.
Did he forget about a past pact in his 18 years of life? Was something from the future manipulating the threads of time to monitor him like the child he was?
Satella, The Witch of Envy, who coincidentally happened to be Half Elf.
An abomination so foul that uttering its name might have you and your descendants destined for a most unfortunate fate.
Destroying half a world; wiping out centuries of progress and exterminating millions: for the seemingly petty reason of "being bored."
That thing; The Witch; The Living Shadow; The Beast that walks in the Dark; the subject of her followers, The Witch Cult: was obsessed with her ceaseless desire to love him.
She "gifted" him a power that caused him nothing but pain in the world he was abducted into.
She held onto him after he died, gently whispering her decrees of love before sending him backwards to redo events.
That's the only thing that filled the space known as The Garden of Shadows, his own pseudo afterlife.
At least something filled this agonizing void, as absolute isolation truly is the vilest of tortures.
He would only listen and feel the immaterial body of this Witch foulest as she tried to comfort him in his dreams.
It felt welcome, but uncomfortable. The best comparison of her care he could think of was someone readying a bed of bricks for you to sleep on
Good intention, but bad execution.
Could he truly be alone as his eyes shut?
His head buried into her shoulder whilst she monotonously said that she loved him over and over and over again as he saw his unforgiven sins and unforgettable mistakes reenact in her eyes.
But this dream was different: he could still feel something that his sleeping brain normally awoke him to.
Pain, lots of it.
He felt every ounce of cutting, ripping, tearing, removal, and inserting; but didn't seem to register as awful.
Rather, he didn't care.
He remembered that he agreed to receive something before he went to sleep.
Something about doctors?
Implants of some sort?
A promise he made?
….
His eyes shut the instant he opened them, registering the light.
He grimaced, trying to get them to readjust.
After a few seconds of blinking away the floaters, glare, and blurriness, he saw a somewhat unknown surface, but knew he was laying down while people sat around him.
Clean white, like linen, or Emilia's skin.
Subaru: This is an unfamiliar ceiling.
Male voice: Good thing that you're not Asuka.
It took a moment to realize that he was in a hospital bed, wearing clothes that he never imagined he would feel again.
The cotton of a machine handled t-shirt on his neck and chest; the plastic smoothness of a nylon tracksuit on his arms and legs.
Subaru wiped the crust off his eyes, flexed his fingers, and checked his body of any "accidental" sleep or self-injuries.
His hearing finally connected to his head, as he could put names to voices.
Eleanor: Hot damn, those're fine abs. You're one lucky lady, lil' Emi.
Kanku: Enough flashing.
Emilia: EEK. SUBARU, put your shirt down.
Subaru put his shirt down before having his back nearly broken by Emilia's strength. Pain shot through his body and head as she squeezed him.
After a well-deserved kiss, Emilia let go, clearly happy that he finally woke up.
Subaru: So how long was I out?
Emilia: 7 days, and I also got my training done.
Subaru: Training?
Kanku: Hypnosis plus magic equals results.
Subaru noticed that the German Twins were sitting on the opposite side of the room, and could make out a part of their strange conversation.
Gretel: So after I turned the door into a bow and arrow with transfig alchemy, the Incubus inside said "Suck my dick", so I said "Suck my arrow". Hit him right in the dick before using an Aztec iron spike on his heart.
Hansel: And you complain that I'm the violent one. (Turns to Subaru) Looks like he's finally woken up.
Subaru: So what were you guys talking about?
Subaru took a moment to envision the scene Gretel spoke of before noticing that his mouth and tongue felt weird.
Subaru: Kaz, besides the Augs, what else did you guys do? My mouth and head feel a little weird.
Kanku: I didn't do anything. It was the surgeons that did all the implants and hypnosis. Besides the Augs, they hypno-implanted fighting know-how and English skills; like Emilia. Damn, you shoulda' seen her and that knife-work. After the coats finished the Aug surgeries, they let her into an observatory so she could watch you get the hypno training.
Emilia: They attached leek-rods all over your body while they shot white strings into you.
Subaru shuddered slightly at the mention of strings while he sat in the hospital bed.
Kanku: You might feel a little discomfort from all the English, but don't worry y-
Eleanor, whispering: that's a good cake, innit?
'Is this what it's like before the Ara Ara?'
Subaru bobbed his head backwards a bit, before seeing what Emilia was wearing:
Gentle purple T-shirt that had the perfect ratio of coverage and exposure of her… body; rich purple short-shorts that partially covered his favorite pillows; grey high-top sneakers protecting her forest-beaten feet.
Emilia: Subaru, what is it? Is there something on my face?
Subaru, smiling: Yeah, just your adorable little eyes, ears, nose and mouth!
Emilia: Don't say something silly like that! If Ram were here, she'd've… I don't know, slapped you?
The Grim Twins: Smooth one.
The sound of a phone quickly ended their small talk and pseudo-initiation, and everyone turned to see that it was Kanku's phone that was ringing.
Kanku, on the phone: Go for K... Oh hey Diane, how's the new arm treating you? (covering the screen) That NSA Handler I mentioned. (back to the phone) …. Oh?... Uh-huh... Yes?... What?!... Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. (hangs up)
Eleanor: What was that all about?
Kanku, speeding out: Wheels up in 30, Naichō called the NSA and want us to help them clean up a botched Op. Ela, Bones, go help Subaru and Emilia with their gear. Grim, on me double time! Ándale!
Eleanor and Hansel shot out of their chairs and began to usher Subaru and Emilia to an armory as Kanku ran the opposite way with Gretel to an unknown destination.
Subaru, keeping up: So where's Witcher Jr?
Hansel, dodging personnel: He jumped over to The Other Side for his Wolf training with his Dad for 3 days Earth time.
Subaru thought somewhat deep and remembered what training and conditioning meant for Witcher initiates and candidates: The Trials of The Grasses, Dreams, and Mountains. And 'Wolf', as in The Wolf School of Witchers; the same School that Geralt of Rivia was part of.
Hansel and Eleanor skidded to a halt as they reached a door labeled ARMORY, which opened to reveal a room filled with rows and racks of guns, magical items, and grenades galore.
He could've sworn that he'd seen or read about some of these items somewhere; large box-cutter blades attached to steel-wire spools, massive red scissors, a nearly 2 meter long iron sword easily ¾ his width, and 2 MGs sandwiching a rocket launcher in a cross-shape.
The 4 of them stepped in, door closing behind them, before a head sized black hole appeared in Eleanor's hands.
Subaru: Is that the-
Body armor and a full head helmet took place of the black hole in her hand, and she took off the casual shirt and shorts she was wearing.
Eleanor: Emilia, with me. Subaru dear, go with Handsey to the o'side. We ladies need some privacy.
Hansel grabbed Subaru by the shoulder and took him to the other side of the shelf to give their counterparts their much-needed privacy.
Hansel: C'mon Subaru, strip down to your 'wears and grab the suit'n carrier.
Lost in his somewhat dirty thoughts, Subaru whispered: On the other side of this wall lies something unimaginably cute and sexy.
Hansel, urgently: Hurry up VERDAMMT, we need to be in the air in 25 minutes with all our gear!
Subaru came back to his senses, failing to imagine Emilia without her dress. Embarrassed, he took off his clothes, stripping off his newly-reunited tracksuit and pants to reveal his lucky underwear.
Hansel: Heh, nice 6 pack.
Subaru, still embarrassed: In the Other World, I woke up at 5-ish in the morning to do 100 pushups, 100 sit-ups, and 100 squats before an hour-long Radio Calisthenics routine. Then I went on to do my butlery duties, get bullied by Ram, get hugged by Rem, then fall asleep.
Hansel, sarcastically: You forgot the 10 klick run, banana for lunch, and no AC/Heater.
Hansel finished snapping the buckles on his plate carrier and tool belt. And seeing that Subaru was still struggling, he offered his help.
10 Minutes later with the Ladies watching Subaru fit the suit and vest, he currently toted an additional 27 kilos (~60 lbs).
Subaru: And here's the fun part….
He browsed the aisles of guns, knives, staves, grenades, and other miscellaneous equipment, trying to pick out his loadout on a 10-minute time constraint.
After overwhelming pressure from the extra weight on his person and the Residential Professionals, he made his mind up and came to the final loadout with assistance:
Alchemically enhanced Level IV (4) Vest underneath Full Upper Body Tactical Armor; lightened, strengthened, thinned, breathable, magic-wicking
Alchemically enhanced Omni-Purpose Identity-Obscuring Helmet with a though-controlled UI; strengthened, lightened, anti-fog, with a built-in radio and re-breather/air filter
Alchemically enhanced Kevlar Pants and knee pads; strengthened, breathable, magic-wicking, water-resistant
HK416 chambered in 5.56 NATO with 10 30-round magazines of Magitanium Bullets; 14.5 in. (36.8 cm) barrel with an angled foregrip, Internally Compensated Suppressor, and Eotech HHS 1 sight; 1-point sling; black paint job
Sig Sauer P320 chambered in 5.7 with 15 25-round magazines of Magitanium Bullets; 4 in (10.2 cm) barrel with Ade RD3-020 Raptor red-dot; black paint-job and holster on his hip
He quietly noted that he'd have to learn to use the "Pocket" Aug to lighten this unconventional load. And maybe change his armor while he's at it.
A/N: The customization of the guns is (partially) fictional, DO NOT use this as a template; Magitanium is a purely fictional substance; I am not responsible for any injuries/fatalities in attempting the recreation of any and all loadouts
Alchemically enhanced Kabar (pronounced Kay Bar/K-Bar) D2 Extreme Combat Knife mounted in the sternal region of his armor; better durability and sharpness
Alchemically enhanced BfR Blast-Combat Boots; carbon-fiber-toed, better protection, breathability, magic-wicking
3 Griffon-Talon Frag Grenades with 3-gram (0.1058 oz) Dragon-Ash cores, each weighing 0.25 lbs/0.113 kg
Black and Orange GBA900-1A watch in his left hand
Agency protected/enhanced Personal iPhone 12 Pro with 5g-strength satellite coverage
After an awkward double-check full of "strange noises" from himself and Emilia; who was wearing the same armor and an FN P90 on her side with 5 spare magazines of Magitanium Bullets; they followed as Eleanor and Hansel led them around the labyrinth of whatever CIA Black Site they were in.
Subaru realized that they were still in the Main C.I.R.C.U.S. Site in Langley after they past the [SMOTe Ops] room, which Eleanor and Hansel ran into for a minute.
Hansel walked out with a customized sniper rifle almost as long as him and Eleanor quickly stored whatever she was holding with her Pocket Dimension Aug.
'I really gotta learn how they work.' Subaru realized as his armor somewhat dug into his crevices.
2 minutes of hallway gymnastics and evasion later, they reached a room labeled HANGAR, and when they stepped in, they were met by a variety of helicopters, planes, and cars in the dozens each. The size of the room, if it could even be described as one, was identical to the Cafeteria.
Personnel of various races leaving, arriving, cleaning, and checking all around the expansive area; the armor-clad young adults running around looked most out of place.
To the untrained eye, the presence of non-humans such as Ghouls, Werewolves, Zombies, and Beast-Men would be incomprehensible, and possibly overwhelming.
To Subaru and Emilia, although unfamiliar with how C.I.R.C.U.S. is ran, interaction with non-human entities was as mundane and regular as watching paint dry.
Hansel led them through the rows of vehicles and people until they reached what Subaru presumed to be their transport back to Japan; a [CV-22 Osprey] according to Eleanor.
The rear ramp was down, Kanku and Gretel were sitting inside wearing their combat gear. His identical to Subaru's; Her's Hansel's.
Kanku, in English: What took so long guys? We've had enough time to watch Traitor Primarchs die of age!
Eleanor, in English: Yeah, like you don't take long to gear up.
Hansel: What did ze Nachos promise us this time? I think I'm still waiting on the Tatsuno Necromorph payout. Potion shit isn't cheap, and neither are other things.
Kanku: Mil' States each, plus Comp' 'trac pay of 500k for our services.
Subaru, increasingly worried: Necromorphs?!
Kanku, explaining: A wise man named Dean Winchester once said, "If it's a monster, it exists."
Gretel was switching between the watch on her left wrist and an iPhone 8 in the other, then pocketed her phone to adjust the leather-skin bag slung across her right.
Kanku, standing up: Alright Gang, enough sucking ass-hairs. Its already 2 pm! Let's get in and ship out!
They all shared a chuckle and began standing up; dusting their clothes and straightening their equipment.
He walked further into the plane and walked to the cockpit door, knocked on the glass to grab the pilots' attention. He made a double finger barrel gesture towards them, leading Subaru to conclude that it meant that it was go-time.
The dual tiltrotors spun to life, kicking up dust and activating the ear-protection in their helmets. The lights in the cargo bay lit up; magic and alchemical symbols lit a gentle green for a few seconds before disappearing; almost everyone in the Hangar turned their heads (some with multiple) as they watched their Ace Team get ready to depart.
Kanku sat down on the left side, Hansel next to him; Gretel after her twin, Emilia after her; then finally, Subaru and Eleanor, who spanked him playfully before the ramp lifted and stabilized cabin pressure.
Subaru: EEP!
Eleanor, jokingly: Don'worry Newbie. (licks her lips and smiles) Make it through the week and you'll be more than spare blood. And might I add tha' y'got the firmest cushion 'ere!
Gretel, using her hands: Ela, don't tease him like that. Remember what happened to the last guy? Your little fucking pet made a big fucking mess that even our CBRN (pronounced Sea-Burn) Crews had trouble with!
Hansel, rolling his eyes: Gottverdammt, not this shit-storm story again.
Eleanor, pouting: It wasn't my fault that he was being a dumb-ass and decided it would be a real damn laugh to get possessed by some waffle-dicked demon, get bloody pissed in an 'our, then Gau-ed Aly's TV!
Subaru, increasingly worried: Uhhhhhh...
The Hangar roof opened slightly, and the Osprey propelled upwards, giving them all a view of the land through 3-inch-thick bullet-proof glass: the outskirts of a near endless bustling city in the afternoon sun, full of people going about their business none the wiser to the Child Soldiers on their way to a faraway country.
Emilia stared out the window in awe, bewitched by the stunning architecture of a city in Subaru's world. She imagined that even if the entire population of Lugunica Capitol worked together for a 100 years, they couldn't dream of advancing their buildings to be larger than the Royal Palace.
Subaru, in Japanese: Nice, isn't it? (takes off his helmet) There were a few reasons that I couldn't visit America on a school trip, but you should wait till you see Tokyo.
Emilia, in Japanese: Isn't it because you said that you were one of those NEET or Oda-kyu people?
Everyone momentarily cringed at the fact that Emilia had to expose Subaru like that. It must've been embarrassing for his not-girlfriend to call him out for being a hikikomori/shut-in.
Subaru: ITAI! Emilia-tan struck a Crit! Chest crippled!
Gretel: We got actual Stimpacks in the Med-Bay, somewhere. But my schnitzel-brain brother and I have our magic instead.
Kanku: I don't always like to use healing magic. Too damn taxing on the body. Speed up healing a bullet to the leg and the next thing you know, you got terminal skin cancer. Not that I have a huge grudge against magic, in fact I like to use it for cleaning. It's just that there's always a cost and effect to spellcasting, no matter how experienced you are or how miniscule the spell is.
Eleanor, on her phone: (muttering) Mach 2... Tokyo from here... (normally) We should be in downtown Tokyo in-
The plane finally started moving, accelerating to an unknown speed. Although he could tell that they were in motion, there was no overwhelming opposing vertical nor horizontal inertia affecting any of them.
Kanku: Looks like we took off. We should be going around Mach 2, so we'll reach Tokyo in 4-ish hours. But for now, let's just kick back, watch some anime or something, and enjoy a nice provided in-flight snack and drink. Because you guys know me...
Everyone but Subaru and Emilia: Nutrition before the mission.
Hansel: The sigils and runes on this hunk of metal are hiding us from regular eyes, normal radar, most detection magic, reinforcing the phys and magi resistance, and partially putting us in an concurrent alternate pocket universe.
Eleanor, on her phone: Lay's terms, we can't be seen by most, we can take a couple hits, and we're using the Speed Force to go extra fast.
Subaru: But if Kaz can Teleport, why are we in this thing?
Hansel: It's not actual Teleporting, but quickly jumping through The Dimensional Gap. Everywhere can be accessed through any point in real-space if you go through that immaterial realm, like 40K Warp Travel. But because it can only be accessed by magic, it is very taxing on the body and stores. I've already used my jumps, and it'll be 3 months before I get enough energy for more teleporting.
Subaru: Oh.
He pulled his new phone from his pocket, remembering that he traded his old flip-phone for assistance in the Whale Hunt back in Lugunica. He opened contacts, fully expecting to have none, but was relieved to see that his most important contacts were saved with their respective ringtones.
[Mom]
[Dad]
'I really gotta go out more.'
He scrolled down a bit more and saw the contact information for everyone else, and a mysterious number; [Don't call this Fuckmothering Pain in the Ass Eterne without Eleanor], ringtone set to [Better get ready to die].
For the next few minutes, he played around with his phone; adjusting settings, downloading games, and discovered an app called [Spook Search] that had a Bald Eagle outline as the picture.
He clicked on it and saw that it was a search engine, most definitely exclusive to his Company. The UI was similar to Google; account and all.
He left the tab and after looking around for the phone's notes function, he saw only one on file.
[Welcome to The Team :D]
He opened it and saw he had his own email and bank information saved to an app; everything on the phone and his account was protected by The Company.
He thought it would be best to use it now before arriving in Tokyo; where and when else would he be able to access unfiltered content?
[Is Berserk still ongoing]
Result:
Mangaka Kentarou Miura (current incarnation of Olde Oni Lord Shuten-dōji) best known for his popular Manga series [Berserk], faked his death to the public on May 6 2021 to take a hiatus after 32 consecutive years of continuous publication. CIRCUS will continue to monitor his activities, and he is expected to continue Berserk's publication sometime in late 2022 under the alias of his apprentices.
'YEEES!' He excitedly thought.
Emilia could see that Subaru was visibly excited about something. Looking away from the scenery to stare at his phone, she saw a block of text and a colored picture of a man with a metal hand who reminded her of Subaru.
Emilia: Subaru? What are you so excited about? What's that Beer-shirt thing?
Subaru, with a smile: Well my lovely Queen, if this humble lowly Knight may speak. One of my favorite picture-book series is still ongoing! And by the gods, he did need a well-deserved break after 32 years straight of high-quality art and story.
He looked up panels and showed Emilia the true potential of mortal drawing skill. He made sure to avoid the gory panels, and didn't mention that Berserk had a character named Puck.
He continued searching for answers to the many mysteries of Earth, such as:
[Is Saké actually divine]
Yes. The popular Japanese alcoholic beverage, Saké, is concocted by a process that bestows Holy/Divine properties including but not limited to: disabling Olde Oni regenerative/magic properties, and repelling Lesser/Lower Yōkai.
[What happened to Tupac]
Tupac Shakur was an American Rap Artist who faked his death to the public on September 13 1996. He was the previously known human alias of Celtic Elder "Welsh" Dragon, Y Ddraig Goch. As of now, CIRCUS is attempting to locate The Welsh Dragon, but investigation will halt if [Ddraig] cannot be located by August 20 2022.
'Try looking for a student in a Prep School.' Subaru humored himself.
He put his phone away and joined Emilia in admiring the scenery, currently open water.
He almost forgot that back in The Other World, there were no major bodies of water such as oceans, so this must be such a majestic experience for a Half Elf that's been discriminated against all her life by humans, demi-humans, and a certain Witch alike for the sole reason of being Half-Elf.
Looking at everyone else, they were on their phones; helmets off and earbuds in.
Subaru, in English: Hey Ela, who's this? (Shows her the mysterious contact)
Eleanor, smugly smiling: Huh!? Y'don'know? It should'a been obvious. It's-
Her phone starts blaring [Party by Andrew WK], which prompts everyone but Subaru and Emilia to laugh sinisterly.
Eleanor cursed colorfully in a variety of languages and laughed before answering and switching to speaker
'Oh no, please do/don't let it be…'
;) : You've reached TheCrimsonFucker. You caught me at a bad time, like, 'worse than mom catching you with a hooker' bad. My Boss, who's a total biiitch, gets mad at me for no fucking reason, so I'm out taking a walk with Police Girl, whose got some BIIIIIG TITTIES.
Subaru, quietly: Is that...?
Eleanor mouthed "yes".
Subaru was unsure if he should laugh or be as horrified as Satella reappearing.
Eleanor, angrily: ALUCARD, GET ON THE GODMAN PHONE OR I'LL FIND AND FLAY YOU ALIVE AS YOU BOIL IN A CUP OF YOUR OWN SEMEN!
Kanku: Hey kids, this is where it gets fun.
Alucard, on the phone in English: Oh, heeeey Bit-…. Boss. I'm out on a walk with Police Girl and her French toy. Did something, or someone, crawl up your ass?
Eleanor: Well fuck you too! Stop imitating your fucking voicemail!
Alucard: Ooo! Who's the bastard unlucky enough to find his way in? Waitwaitwait, let me guess….. (multiple gun shots) HA, good shot Boobs. *My NAME is SERAS!*
'Alucard? AND Seras? Who doesn't exist at this point…'
Eleanor: Tell Ms. Victoria t'take care of Willy while I'm gone. Good time fr'im t'retire, innit?
Alucard: So. What'd y'dial me up for? You couldn't possibly want my Cannon yet, or could you? *MASTER, I NEED SO HELP* (single large gunshot and multiple explosions) In a bit Sweetie. Daddy's gotta tell the scam caller to screw right off and deepthroat an elephant's nose.
Gretel, loudly: Wow Aly, sure vould suck if-
Alucard: Uggh, is that that Now-Nazi? Ooo Ooo, I know. Tell her that her grandpapy is in Brazil doing lines of coke on multiple hookers' asses! Hey Police Girl, shoot that schmuck aaaaallll the way over there with all that pent up energy up your ass.
Everyone but Emilia and Eleanor laughed.
Eleanor: LISTEN, YOU SHRIVELED-SCROTOM, HAIR-LESS, BAT-DICKED MOTHERFUCKING-
Alucard: Ahem, I'm a Fuckmothering vampire. I killed a lot of people to get that title, y'know. *THERE. I TOOK THE BLOODY SHOT. THERE'S GUTS EVERYWHERE, BRAIN ON THE FLOOR, AND TEETH IN THAT TREE!* *Hon hon hon, dear Seras. Still as fiesty as the day I died.*
Subaru made a face if confused surprise.
Eleanor: BLOODY LISTEN OR I'LL TAKE AWAY YOUR TV PRIVILE-
Alucard: Oh yes, yes. You were droning on and on about getting bukkaked left-right-and center with those groupies of yours.
Eleanor: *Sigh*, Yes. We got some new people, and we're shipping out to TOKYO on a call from the Nachos. Apparently, they and the NSA can't even half-ass an E&E.
Alucard: Alright then, MOM. If you need me, I'll be in my room. Just be sure to only send hookers and blow my way, and stop sending dumbasses like that last tool!
Eleanor, happily: That's a good Aly. Keep up the behavior and you'll get vacation days.
Seras, taking Alucard's phone: Hello Miss Hellsing. I'll be sure to let Willy know that you'll be out fr'a few. Alucard? Alucard! NONONONONON- (hangs up)
Eleanor sighed frustratedly, then switched her tab back to Hulu to continue watching Adventure Time as a bag of sour cream and onion chips appears in her hands.
Subaru: Sooooo, how do I use the Augs?
Eleanor: Oh, right. For Pocket, imagine that you're opening game Inventory; for TAP, imagine going into Dead Eye or a slowing clock…. Oh, and before I forget, anything you store in the Pocket won't age, get dirty, or change temperature. You can store living things like people and pets, but its not really recommended.
She "grabs" a bottle of Ramune and tosses it at Subaru, expecting less than satisfactory results for this test.
'Ok Natsuki, imagine a clock slowing down…
He projects the mental image of clock hands slowing down, causing everything he perceived to slow down, as if watching a sport playback.
'Woah. Ok, now the Inventory…
He imagined he was opening Minecraft Inventory, then imagined he was going to put something in.
A small, eerily familiar shade of purple swallows his right hand, but he could still feel his hand there.
He erased the slowing clock, causing time to resume normally, and caught the previously suspended bottle of Ramune with his right.
It went "into" his hand, similar to a needle piercing the skin, but there was no pain or change of temperature.
He closed the metaphorical box that was his Inventory; the purple "glove" dissipating into a wispy vapor.
Eleanor: Good job Baru! Never seen anyone adjust to the Pocket Aug that fast.
Subaru, proudly: Well what can I say? I'm a good learner.
He opened his Pocket again to store his HK16 (which he had been holding with his feet under the bench).
His hand was covered by that eerie color as he bent over to grab his rifle; his Tactical Armor digging slightly into his abdomen.
He stored the rifle; pistol (loaded), mags, and holster separately; all 3 grenades; then retrieved the bottle of Ramune.
'Hello, my old friend.'
He instinctively removed the plastic wrap, removed the opener, then pushed the glass marble down, taking a moment to let the clink calm his nerves.
Emilia: Subaru, is that another one of those sow-duhs?
Subaru, handing the bottle: Want some?
Emilia: Maybe. It's just that the smell reminds me of pepirs.
He pushed the bottle a bit further, hinting that maybe she should try more Otherworldly delicacy.
He could see her nose flare slightly as she smelled the soda, but quickly back away and grabbed her nose, possibly stung by the carbonation.
Subaru, retracting: Woops. Sorry Emilia. Guess Elvish senses are more sensitive than human.
Emilia, pinching her nose: Iz oki Suparu.
He smiled and took a long swig; crying from both carbonation and nostalgia.
He looked through the window again, still over open water, and went back to his phone.
After a few minutes, he found his banking information; current balance of 100k USD or 11M Yen.
He (poorly) did the mental math, tallying up that he had been given a starting bonus worth about 2 years of average income.
'I'm gonna go home, search for a house, buy some good furniture, work for a few more years, retire, then settle down with Emilia and Rem.'
He made a puff of realization at the thought that he was thinking years ahead of now, assuming he would stay in The Agency and go on missions around the world like Sam Fisher or Snake.
He went back to the app store and bought Minecraft, Terraria, and Exploding Kittens; waiting 3 minutes for all 3 to download.
He looked up all major updates since 2016, then played Minecraft for about an hour; spawning in a hill biome on the edge of a forest.
He built a simple oak block-house, tamed a few dogs, and mined 50 iron ingots before he saw Emilia fall asleep on his lap like a baby.
Everyone looked up and saw this exotic miracle unfold before them. They all smiled and silently snapped a few pictures while he carefully Pocketed his phone.
He stroked her hair, brushed her face, and gently massaged her shoulders before leaning his head back and falling asleep.
He could feel the gentle breeze of her breath brush his skin; her smooth, warm skin on his gloveless hands.
'Is this what it's like to give a lap pillow?'
…
…
…
"-ru. Subaru? Su-ba-ruuuu. (gently) Hey buddy, wake up."
His eyes fluttered open, interrupting his dream of being on a picnic with Emilia and Rem here on Earth. His vision blurry and sanpaku-eyes crusty allowed him to identify the silhouette of the person that woke him up.
Subaru, yawing: H-*yawn*- hey Pervsing.
Eleanor booped his nose in revenge.
Subaru, gently shaking his thighs: Hey Emilia, wake up. We're here.
Emilia, sleep talking: Just a while longer Geuse. The fairies are saying something.
'Geuse? Like, Be-'
He used his right hand to gently shake her shoulder, letting her know that it was time to get up.
Kanku: Touchdown in 5.
The hold was filled with the slapping of loaded magazines and clacking of readied gun bolts. Eleanor was holding the customized sniper rifle Hansel brought; Hansel and Gretel were holding identical HK MP7's; Kanku was inspecting a customized FN SCAR-L in his hands and the SIG P320 on his hip.
Subaru summoned the bottle of Ramune, surprised it was still cold, and finished it, leaving it on the floor.
He savored the harmless sting of carbonation fizz in his mouth and swallowed, trying to wake Emilia up again.
Subaru: Hey Emilia, wake up. We're here already.
He shook her with slightly more force, and after a few more pushes, she woke up with a yawn.
Emilia: H-*yawn*-ey Subaru. Is it morning yet?
Subaru: Its been only 2 hours. Hope you had a good nap, 'cuz we got some work ahead of us.
Kanku, standing at the ramp: TD IN 2!
Everyone gave each other a gear check, waiting on Subaru and Emilia to get ready.
Emilia sat upright, wanting to go back to sleep on the comfiest pillows ever. Subaru stood up and inspected her armor and P90, tightening and adjusting them on new instinct. All 6 of them stacked around the ramp, counting down the seconds left.
The Osprey came to a halt and the ramp dropped, exposing them all to the rhythmic slap of a Chinook's downdraft.
The hearing protection activated; blocking out the sound of the blades while amplifying voices.
He could see 3 people in all black uniforms similar to gakuran button-ups while baggy hakama pants covered their legs, held up by a white belt. Their feet were sparsely protected by tabi socks and zōri sandals, providing negligible defense against anything sharper than a butter knife.
The middle person bore the Kanji for "Destroy" on their left side, Metsu. It was a short loli-faced girl with dark pink irises and elbow length black hair with fire-colored tips. The iconic scabbard and handle of a katana stuck out from her right side. Just by her facial appearance, she should be around his age, maybe younger.
The 2 people to her sides wore black and white head coverings, obscuring everything but their eyes. They were holding tablets.
'Why is all this so familiar?'
Kanku, through his teeth: Damnit Subaru. Bow!
His hand forced Subaru into a traditional Japanese bow, then when he removed his hand, there was a basic instinct telling him to keep bowing; an instinct telling him he was in the presence of someone he should address with –sama.
The Woman, in Japanese: At ease, Ghosts.
Subaru stood upright, seeing that everyone had a respectful expression as Emilia stood confused behind him.
He saw that they were on the roof of a 5-story building, and that they Osprey had already taken off.
Kanku, barely audible through the helicopter in Japanese: Thank you for gracing us with your presence, Agatsuma-sama.
Agatsuma: No need for all the formalities, we're all professionals here. You may address me as Toko, or Kamado if you so desire. Only onii-chan and my husband may call me Nezuko.
Subaru let out a slightly scared grunt of realization, trying to maintain his poker-face in front of someone he vaguely remembered.
Kanku: Heard and read great things about you and your group.
Toko: Did you read a file or that heavily censored excuse of a manga?
Kanku: Read the files and the whole manga bullshit.
Toko: That is... acceptable. The rest of you, Name and Rank!
Eleanor, in Japanese: Eleanor Van Hellsing, PATAOU Agent of SMOTe.
Hansel, in Japanese: Hansel Grimhallow, PATAOU Agent of SMOTe.
Gretel, in Japanese: Gretel Grimhallow, PATAOU Agent of SMOTe.
Subaru, nervously: N-Natsuki Subaru, recently instated PATAOU Agent of SMOTe.
Emilia, clueless: Emilia of Elior Forest, and whatever Subaru said at the end!
Kanku: He's that new guy that was in another world for 4 years and she's the Half-Elf he brought over.
Toko: Sure that's all you brought? I can smell something coming from your group's direction, like hate and blood, like an Olde Oni.
Subaru, awkwardly: That... would be me. I apparently have something called The Witch's Scent, and I can't get it off. Getting isekaied sure does suck.
Toko: Ah, I thought you were one of the Olde Oni. Killing that bastard Muzan was not easy, I'll have you know. Onii-chan became the 100th Leader of The Demon Slayer Corps. After old man Kaguya died, Kyojuro-san and Giyu-kun had their stint as Head, but decided to pass it on to Onii-chan.
Kanku: So, Subaru, if it isn't painfully obvious right now, then we're here on a job with-
Subaru: The Demon Slayer Corp, an ancient organization-
Kanku: Now recognized by the Japanese Government, but as a specialized Black Ops Group within Naichō, sent in to deal with supernatural threats. So by that logic, if you haven't realized by what she's been saying, she's-
Subaru: Kamado Nezuko?
Masked Left, female voice: You cur! You shall pay for your rudeness to Agatsuma-sama with your life! On your knees and slit your stoma-
Toko/Nezuko chopped the Masked Individual over the head; the other giggled.
A/N: For simplicity's sake, it will be Nezuko
Nezuko: Silence Kakushi.
Female Kakushi: Yes. I apologize, Natsuki-dono.
Nezuko: Alright, Ghosts, with me in the chopper. Ahma, tell Onii-chan that I'll be a little late for dinner. Koko, you're with us.
Both Kakushi: HAI!
They bow and one walked around Subaru to reach the door behind them while the rest of them get into the Chinook; Subaru and Emilia carefully close the doors behind.
Gretel muttered an incantation and raised her hands, creating a web-like field inside the hold.
Gretel: We can hear und talk better now.
Everyone took their helmets off as the other Kakushi kept typing away on their tablet.
Kanku: Yo, Kushi, what's the Sit-Rep?
Koko: Kakushi. And here's what we know so far. 3 and a half years ago, Naichō discovered an unknown group of unknown origin possessing an unknown Type and Branch of Mana based magic, also of unknown origin. They sent a Deep Cover Operative to investigate, but she was burnt 2 weeks ago. We cashed in a favor from your NSA for backup 3 days ago, and that Extraction failed miserably. So Naichō brought in The Corps, and much to our input, we requested your... Services.
Nezuko: Great to meet you children in the flesh.
Kanku, sarcastically: We're just tax-paying, law-abiding, hard-working Americans on a trip to Japan, so I'm not to sure what you're talking about.
Subaru: Except me. I'm a proud citizen of Japan that was kidnapped and escaped to America.
Nezuko took a long inhale; nostrils flaring and eyes sharpening.
Nezuko: 100 damn years later and this gods-damned Olde Oni blood is still screwing with me.
Subaru, sheepishly: Soooo, your still a…. y'know, an...?
Nezuko pricked her left index with a tooth; the bead of blood glowing and making a small "pff" sound.
Nezuko: Blood Art and all.
Subaru: And just how accurate is the manga?
Nezuko: About as faithful as a Hollywood adaptation of anime or manga.
Subaru: And how about everyone else that isn't an….?
Nezuko: Onii-chan stayed an Olde Oni by my side as I watched my husband die, and my great-great-grandchildren grow up.
Subaru, sadly: Oh, sorry for your loss.
Nezuko: It's fine. He reincarnates and finds his way back, like all of the others, like Inosuke, Giyu, Sakonji, and Kyojuro too. It's so sweet to watch them grow up, but it breaks my heart that I see them grow old while I'm stuck like this.
Subaru: I get it too.
Nezuko: You don't fit the bill to be an Aged.
Subaru, sorrowfully: I have death-powered immortality. I go back to a very specific point in the past after dying. I call it Return By Death.
The hold was silent, save for the Kakushi's silent Shinto prayer. They all gave their silent respects for the unfortunate soul that knows no peace.
Nezuko: Gods have mercy…
Subaru: I don't need some silent god's pity. Where were they when I suddenly disappeared? Where were they when my parents were grieving? Where were they when I suffered death, over and again?
…
Eleanor: We sleep soundly in our beds...
Hansel: … Because rough men stand ready in the night…
Gretel: … To visit violence on those who would do us harm.
Kanku: The Operator's Creed…. Sure is a messy business we're in. But a necessary one. So we can rest easy at night, knowing that because of the evil things we do…
Nezuko: Children may see the sunrise once more with a bright and beautiful smile.
Pilot, through the speaker: 120 seconds till Touchdown!
Kanku: Alright Team, gear up!
He, Eleanor, and Subaru summoned their guns; releasing the mag and palming them back in.
Emilia dusted off her equipment and readied her P90, carefully racking the handle to rack and ready a bullet
Subaru took long breaths and instinctively fiddled with the mechanical safety on his rifle.
Kanku: Ela, you're on Overwatch. Chocolates, you guys are on Escape Watch. Emilia, you'll be our driver; you'll be taking my Expedition. Subaru, we'll be Spearing the door with Kamado. 6 floors, Target is on top, expect heavy resistance. Maintain radio (hands Nezuko an earpiece), and remember... These are sick sons of bitches, they won't think twice about killing you, so be sure to kill 'em first. Call-signs are the usual. Blood, Eleanor; Bones, Hans; Grims, Gretel; I'm TL or Boss.
Eleanor: Wil-Co.
Hansel and Gretel: Understood.
They rack the slides of their MP7's and let them dangle by the 1-point sling. His on the left; Hers on the right. Eleanor runs her hand up and down her sniper rifle.
'They're so in sync that they can finish eachother's!-
Kanku: Here's a banana for you, Kushi.
He grabs a banana from his Pocket and attempts to hand it over to the Kakushi, who confidently refuses.
He shrugs his shoulders and peeled the banana, offering it to Subaru.
Kanku: Subaru, your call-sign is Stars. Emilia, you're Frost. Call-signs are used for ID security, so you don't dox yourselves mid-job.
He took the banana and quickly ate it, appreciating the gesture.
Pilot: 50 seconds!
Kanku: Ready to cross names and eat ass, Subaru?
Subaru, scoffing: Maybe not that last one, but let's get to work.
Nezuko: I'm liking you more and more, you strange boy…
The Chinook came to a halt; the Kakushi opened the door; Subaru, Kanku, and Nezuko stepped out from the cloaked helicopter and onto the asphalt streets of Tokyo; streets of average Japanese citizens and over-zealous tourist/weebs of the West.
It would certainly be a most unusual sight to see Demon Slayer and SCP MTF hardcore cosplayers step out of a Chinook in the middle of the street, holding hyper-realistic weapons. But they were gaining no attention or stares of confusion.
Subaru figured that someone cast illusion magics beforehand to prevent them from drawing attention.
Koko: Good luck out there, Agatsuma-sama!
Nezuko, straightening her uniform: This new kid might need that more than I do.
The door closed as the Kakushi smirked; everyone else heading for their respective roles.
They turned around and were faced with a 6-story building with blinded windows that would normally peek inside.
?, over the raidio: -w do I use this metia?
Subaru, pressing the ptt: Emilia, is that you?
Kanku, over the radio: You guys do know that you don't need to press anything, right? Think to Radio comms are amazing.
Subaru: Oh, *Private Line to Emilia*
Emilia: Why'd the sound suddenly cut out?
Subaru: Hey Emilia, this is a Private Line that only we can use.
Emilia: Oh, okie.
Subaru: I love you, Emilia-tan. Stay safe.
Emilia, flustered: Baka! Don't say such embarrassing things on this metia! But Subaru…
Subaru: Yes?
Emilia: Come back safe so we can go on that date your parents promised.
Subaru: Heh, will do, My Queen.
'What date? Oh well, more time to think.'
He switched back to the Team Channel, met with the crack of gunfire.
Eleanor, over the radio: (gunshot and sound of bolt action) Mark 2 (gunshot and bolt rack) K-Conned 4, (gunshot and bolt rack) window bang 6... Now where are th- huh? They're, reading?! The hell?! What are they... oh god, are those people dead? Holy fuck... godamn necros... shiiit, kids. Boss, it's up to you lot down there! I'll cover when I can. GO!
He didn't want to imagine whatever whoever was doing inside, but there was a primal gut-feeling that something bad was imminent. There was something about the supposed reading and unspeakable treatments that eerily reminded him of a certain encounter with a group of radical fanatics.
Subaru, over the radio in Japanese: Kan-… Boss, I've got a bad feeling about this.
Nezuko, inhaling deeply: Total Concentration Breathing; Alternate Sun Breathing.
A yellow-redish aura gathered around Nezuko, exuding a warm sensation like sunlight on skin. She gripped the metal door, which molded like butter under her grip strength.
She pulled the door off its hinges, turned it on its side, and threw it inside; a series of sickening uncomfortably familiar crunches and splashes were barely audible from his position near the entrance.
And that's when the shooting started.