I couldn't tell if the shaking in my hands was withdrawl, or anxiety. I had so much clouding my mind, and I hated how badly I needed a drink. Not wanted. No, I didn't want to drink, I wanted a clear head. I wanted to be the man she'd been taken from, not this hollowed out shell that she'd been brought back to.

But, every single one of my nightmares was now a reality. The demons that I'd been drowning, they'd come for me, and I wasn't strong enough to face them. Not yet. Not alone.

I felt the Force shudder as Ushar jumped, and I looked up to see him panting. I'd given him an order to stay with her, he was the only one who could pull her out of a blast, if it happened again.

He shook his head. "She needs you."

Exactly what was I going to do? As we'd all predicted, her power was greater than mine, greater than all of ours, and with her being in the state she was in mentally, she was a ticking bomb. I couldn't even control my own power, let alone hers.

I squeezed my eyes shut, and took a deep breath. Stop being such a fucking coward. Your mother didnt raise a coward, and Rey sure as fuck didn't marry one. I looked back up at Ushar, and nodded. "Let's go."

He grabbed my forearm, and darkness roared, the jump taking much longer than the others. Even before we landed, I heard Rey screaming.

I shoved away from him as soon as my feet hit the floor and ran toward her, finding her backed into a corner with medical personnel surrounding her.

One moved closer, and went flying back, smacking against the wall.

"Sedate her!" A man in a white lab coat barked.

"No!" I yelled, and threw a hand up, shielding her and keeping them a distance away.

"What are you doing?" I yelled to the middle aged doctor.

"Our job." He said. "She needs to be evaluated, she needs to be treated."

From where I stood across the room, I could see her trembling and I had to take a moment to calm myself before I said, "Get out."

I released the staff, and they looked to the doctor for confirmation.

"Now." I growled, keeping my voice low so I wouldn't startle Rey.

They began to file out, closing the door behind them, and leaving me alone with her. I released the shield.

She swallowed, still panting, staring at me like she'd claw my eyes out if I got too close.

"I'm sorry." I told her, and meant it. "I just sent you to see a medic, I didn't even consider that you wouldn't be ready to see one."

No reaction.

"I'll ask for a woman to handle your case." I offered. "For the staff working with you to all be women, if that would help."

Nothing.

"C'mon, Rey, please tell me what you need." I begged. I'd fall on my knees at her feet again, if that would've helped.

"I need you to cut the shit." She spat. "I know you're not him."

That was a solid blow to my chest. "Yes, I am." I insisted, ignoring the sting. "How do you want me to prove it?"

She stared at me, not answering.

"You're from Naboo, our wedding anniversary is May-"

"Our wedding anniversary is a matter of public record." She snapped. "And so is my planet of origin."

"Alright," I conceded. "Our actual wedding anniversary is September ninth."

She stilled, her eyes widening, and then she blinked and shook her head. "There were people all around us, anyone could've known."

I let out a breath. "Your tea of choice is lady gray, brewed for exactly three minutes, one sugar, one cream."

"Any servant could have told you that." She shot back.

"Then what do I need to tell you?" I demanded, struggling to keep my patience. It felt like my heart was clawing its way out of my chest to get to her.

"Nothing!" She yelled. "There is nothing you can say to me that will make me believe that you're him!"

I let out a heavy sigh, and raked my fingers through my hair, desperately going through our time together to think of anything that would convince her.

A thin glass of water sat on the table next to the bed, and I walked toward it, snatching it up.

"I'm not thirsty." She said.

I turned it up, draining it, then slammed it against the edge of the table, shattering it. The glass sliced into my palm, and I winced as I dragged my thumb along the cut. I looked up at her, then bent down, smearing my blood on the white sheets covering the bed.

Rey gasped, nearly to the point of shrieking, and slapped both of her hands over her mouth, her eyes going impossibly wide. "It is you." She breathed, and then she crumpled, covering her face as she sank to her knees. Her sobs echoed off the walls in the empty room.

I instinctively took a step forward, to go to her, but I stopped, grinding my teeth together as I held myself back.

I'm here. I told her, through the Bond. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, not unless you ask me to.

She looked up, her face streaked with tears. Instead of asking me to leave, she held her arms out, reaching for me.

I crossed the room in two strides, and hoisted her up, crushing her to me as she wrapped her thin arms around my neck, her hands cupping the back of my head. Her body shook as she cried, clinging to me, and I held her, my chest relaxing so that I was finally able to take a deep breath.

She pulled away to look at me. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

I shook my head, stammering as I tried to tell her that she didn't need to apologize.

Her voice shook as more tears slid down her face. "I should've never left, but he knew. He knew I would. That you'd stay. He planned it."

"I know." I told her, my throat thickening.

"I thought that Vicrul was dead, that I'd gotten him killed-"

I shook my head. "This isn't your fault-"

"But it is!" Her body convulsed as she sobbed. "Vic was shot, and I was sold to Hux because I fell for that stupid letter." She covered her face with her hands and cried into them.

"Rey, please." I begged, feeling utterly helpless. I didn't know what to do. Should I touch her, try to comfort her? Wipe away her tears as I'd done the last time she'd cried in my arms? That seemed like a lifetime ago.

After several agonizing minutes, her breathing leveled out and she looked up at me, her face puffy and chapped. Silent tears streaked down her face as she brought her too thin hand up to cup my cheek.

I shuddered at her touch, covering her hand with mine.

"What happened to you?" She asked, the question breathing some fire back into her eyes.

I swallowed thickly. "What happened to me doesn't matter." But, I felt it, felt her. She moved past my shields and leafed through my mind as if she belonged there. Not probing, not forceful, more like my power recognized hers and yielded to it. I abruptly pulled away, severing our connection. She couldn't know how bad things had gotten, how bad I'd let things get.

"I'm fine." I insisted. "You need a medic."

"I don't want a medic." She said, and her power, tied to her quickly fraying emotions, keened in warning. "I don't want to be here, I don't want anyone else near me, I just want to go home."

My heart sank. We no longer had a home I could take her to. I looked away, raking my fingers through my hair, and took a breath. "Rey, you're hurt." I gently tried to reason.

A tear trickled out of her red rimmed eye, then another. "Please." She begged, brokenly, and I caved.

"I'll take you to the townhouse."

She let out a sigh, her shoulders relaxing.

"Can you walk?" I asked, and she nodded.

Her legs gave out halfway there, and I put an arm around her waist, steadying her against me as I held her up. We'd barely made it inside when she collapsed, and I carried her upstairs, cursing soundly at how light she was. I took her into the bedroom that I'd been staying in for the past few weeks, and laid her on top of the comforter on my bed.

"I just...need to rest." She said, as I pulled a blanket over her, up to her chin.

I nodded, watching her eyes drift closed, my chest aching. When her breathing deepened and slowed, I turned toward the door, freezing midstep when I found Beau.

Because in my obvious mental lapse, I'd forgotten that she was a person who existed, and who'd also been staying at the townhouse, in Vicrul's old bedroom, which was down the hall.

She looked at Rey, asleep on my bed, then back up at me, and mercifully turned and walked out of the room. I followed her into the hallway, closing the door behind me.

Her red eyebrows were drawn into a line. "Is that her?" She asked. "Is that Rey?"

I sighed, the rolling wave of her hopelessness slapping me in the face. "Yes."

Her face fell, and she closed her eyes, her forehead creasing as her brow furrowed. She'd known that I couldn't be a husband to her, and had accepted that. But, now, the last hope that she clung to of not being sold again withered and died, and I felt the crack in my own chest as her heart broke.

"I'm sorry." I told her. She didn't ask for this, and she sure as fuck didn't deserve it.

She shook her head, and looked up, bringing a hand up to quickly wipe her eyes. "What happened to her?"

"All I know is what Hux did to her three months ago." I said. "She refuses to see a medic."

"She needs one."

"I know." I agreed. "But, she's been held captive for three months, and I'm not making her do anything she doesn't want to do."

Beau sighed. "So, what's the plan?"

"I don't have a plan." I admitted. I had Rey back. That was as far as my plans had gone.

She turned, and started down the stairs. "She'll need clothes, and something to eat when she wakes up. I'll be back soon with both."

Wait. "What?" I demanded.

She looked back at me. "Oh, I hadn't realized you would be leaving to go get what she obviously needs."

I blinked. "I'm not leaving her."

"That's what I thought." She said, flatly. She continued downstairs, and called up when she reached the front door, "I'm using your line of credit."

I rummaged around in the downstairs bathroom until I found a bacta bandage and smoothed it into place over the cut on my palm.

As promised, Beau returned some time later with an iced coffee, and several bags dangling from each arm. She handed one of them to me. "Flannel pajamas, fuzzy socks, and cotton panties." She handed me another bag. "Toiletries, including a new toothbrush. And, most importantly," She held up another one. "Food. I didn't know what she liked, but there is a shop down the way that makes some pretty amazing stew, so I got a bowl of it, and a sandwich."

I stared at her, completely at a loss.

"It's a really big sandwich." She added.

I shook my head. "This is amazing." I took the bag and swallowed the lump in my throat. "Thank you."

She nodded, smiling at me. "You're welcome." She gathered the rest of her bags, and moved toward the kitchen.

I turned to take everything upstairs, and stopped, turning back to face Beau. "I'm sorry."

Her eyebrows pulled together in silent question.

"I'm sorry for...everything. From the night I met you, to now." I shook my head. "I'm sorry that you know me as a drunk lunatic asshole."

She looked down and pursed her lips. "I know you as a desperate man who was grieving the loss of the woman he loves more than his own life. I know the man you are without her, but now that you have her back-" Her russet eyes met mine. "I'm looking forward to meeting the man she fell in love with."

"After our contract is voided," I said. "I'll do anything I have to do to keep you from being sold." I would think of something. I had to think of something.

Beau gave me a small nod. "One thing at a time." She knew she wasn't my priority, had never been my priority, and I felt another stab of guilt.

One thing at a time, I repeated to myself, watching her disappear into the kitchen. I gripped the bags in my uninjured hand and headed upstairs.