I don't have much to say today, other than that I hope you enjoy this chapter!
—
"time stretches on as you falter, fragile masks being torn away"
Akira doesn't leave the train. He sits staring at the window across from him, passing station after station with no no intention of getting off. He does eventually when someone presses a hand on his shoulder and asks if he's okay. He leaves on the next stop not exactly sure where he is but far enough from everything else.
He wanders around the city for a while, turning off his phone so the buzzing that's been heard since he stepped off the train would stop. The ringing in his head was a dull ache and he doubted it would get much more severe at this point.
The sun starts to set, casting long dark shadows over the streets. Rain drizzles against the street, still cold from the thin remnants of winter. Akira shoves his hands into his pockets, the rain icy against his skin. His hands were trembling and he's not sure if it's from the cold outside or clawing within him.
He stops in front of a bar that doesn't care about your age, only that you have enough to pay. He had at least a hundred thousand yen in his pockets, plenty for a few drinks.
No one pays him any attention when he slips into the bar and sits on one of the stools at the counter. He doesn't remember exactly what he orders but it's strong and that's all he wants. The drink is a jeweled amber in the glass, glinting in the low light of the bar. He slips it slowly but it's gone far too quickly for his liking. He orders another one.
He sits hunched over the counter, drumming his fingers on the counter in a quick, slightly rhythmic pattern. The bartender gives him a side eye that contains far more concern than Akira would've liked as he makes Akira's next drink. It's certainly one too many, but Akira's had one too many for the past few drinks.
The bartender places the drink down on the counter and Akira slides it closer to him. They've been getting cheaper but at this point he doesn't notice the difference. They still burn down his throat and that's all that matters.
Akira places the glass on the table unsteadily, it almost toppling over if it weren't for the bartender's quick movements. He rights the glass and narrows his eyes at Akira. "It's getting late. Do you have someone that can pick you up?"
Akira shrugs but pulls out his phone. He squints at the light, fumbling a bit to pull up a contact. It was later than he thought. He dialed the number and waited, surprised when Akechi picked up.
"Akira? Why are you calling me this late?" Akechi's voice was groggy, hiding the bite that he was in no doubt keeping in his voice.
"Do you have a car?" The words came out far less clear than Akira would've liked.
"Are you drunk?" The sound of fabric ruffling echoed through the signal.
"Do you?" Akira elects to ignore Akechi's question. He must already know the answer to it.
"No, I don't." Akechi sighs, a little strained at the end. He mutters the next bit. "I can't just leave you there can I?" Akechi's quiet for a moment and Akira's afraid that he hung up. But he continues speaking. "I'll be there. What's the address?"
Akira turns to the bartender who rattles off the address for Akira. Akira brings the phone back to his ear. "Did you get that?"
"I did." Exasperation layers Akechi's words. "It'll take me 30 minutes to get there."
Akechi hangs up and Akira's phone darkens. He shoves it in his pocket and starts pulling out the yen to pay for his drinks. His vision wobbles and he isn't quite sure how much is there. Or how much he owes.
He places it all on the table and hopes it's enough. The bartender returns, placing a glass of water before him and scooping up the money. Hesitation crossed the bartender's face and he glanced between Akira and the money in his hand before starting to count it out. He placed the remaining amount by Akira and pocketed the rest. "I grabbed enough for the drinks and a tip, give the rest to your friend for helping you out."
Akira blinks at him a moment, grabbing the water to take a small sip before speaking. "Oh, I will. Thank you." He grabbed the money and shoved it in his pocket.
An amused expression darts across the bartender's face before he turns back to the rest of the patrons. Akira works through the water with steady sips that do nothing to ease his splitting headache or the queasiness of his stomach.
Just as promised, Akechi arrives at the bar thirty minutes later, dressed far more casually than Akira's ever seen. The bartender stiffens at the sight of the detective but Akechi doesn't even give him a passing glance.
Akira pushes himself to a standing position, the world spinning around him. He stumbles into the counter, leaning onto it. Akechi hovers beside him. "C'mon, let's get out of here before you pass out."
Akira nods and steps away from the counter. He makes it one step before his knees buckle. Before he drops to the ground, Akechi's arms are around his shoulders. Akechi hoists him back up and practically drags him out the door, disdain evident in his expression. They make it a few steps out the door before Akira grabs onto Akechi's arm. "Stop."
"What is—"
Akira pushes Akechi away and vomits into the nearest trash can. He leans over heaving with his eyes closed, waiting for the dizziness to pass. It takes longer than he would've like for the world to stop swimming and for the stars to clear from his vision. He straightens up to the best of his ability and risks a glance at Akechi.
He leaning against the nearby wall, his hands shoved into his pockets. Patience settles into his expression, something that Akira didn't expect. "Are you ready to go?" Akechi's voice is softer and without the hints of accusations or annoyance that was present before.
"Yeah." Akira doesn't risk nodding but wipes his mouth on his sleeve.
Akechi doesn't say anything about that and returns to their previous position. Akira's leaning more into Akechi than he's willing to admit.
Their walk to the train is silent. Akechi only starts to speak when they're both situated on the train in two empty seats beside each other. "I'm taking you back to my apartment."
"Why?" Akira croaks out, his throat scratchy and sore.
"I don't think Sojiro would appreciate me bringing you to LeBlanc in this state." Akechi says, something resembling a grin resting on his lips. "I think even that would exceed what he could handle."
"I think he'd kick me out right then and there." Akira found himself smiling, a little too giddy. "Assuming that he hasn't already."
Akechi frowned, his expression growing a bit strained. "Hopefully it won't get to that point. You can still reset."
"You're right." Akira doesn't say anything further, letting the conversation fade out. The rest of the ride remained in silence, the quiet conversations of the other passengers and the ambience of the train settled over them.
Akira cranes his neck looking up to the top of Akechi's apartment complex. "You really live here?"
Akechi prods him forward. Akira doesn't remember stopping. "Let's get inside before we wake the neighbors."
The lobby is lit with bright white lights that sends Akira's head pounding. He ducks his head away, trusting Akechi to guide them wherever his apartment is. Akechi exchanges greetings with the guard stationed for the night, no doubt supplying some excuse for being out so late and bringing Akira in like this. If the guard's lighthearted tone is anything to go by, Akechi was successful.
Akechi stops in front of the elevator and calls for one. "Normally I'd take the stairs but you're nowhere near a state that would feasibly warrant that."
The idea of being dragged up numerous flights of stairs is enough to send his stomach reeling. "I appreciate that."
"I'm sure you do."
The elevator opened and they stepped in. Akechi pressed the button for the fifth floor and leaned back against the railing. Akira steadied himself, a hand tight against the railing and pressed against the wall.
After a short ride, the door opens. Akechi steps out, glancing back at him. "My room is just down the hall, do you think you can walk it?"
"No." Akira wasn't even steady against the wall, he severely doubted his abilities to walk.
Akechi resumed their previous positions. "How much did you even drink?"
"Um." Akira tried to remember how many glasses that he ordered but they all were starting to blur together. "A lot."
"I could tell that much without your assistance." Akechi stopped in front of a door. Akira squinted in an attempt to make out the numbers. "Lean against the wall while I unlock the door."
Akechi removed himself from under Akira's arm and pulled out a single key on a keyring. He slid it into the lock and it opened with a seamless click. He opened the door and turned on the light inside. Akira pushed himself off the wall and Akechi brought him into the apartment.
Everything was impeccably clean, to the point of seeming empty. Akechi dumped him on a couch that was stiff with lack of use. He could see an island flanking the kitchenette, a set of papers and folders strewn about on the top. That was the only point of disorganization.
"You really live here?" Akira looks around the living room. There were no pictures on the walls, nothing that symbolized that this was more than a showroom.
"Do you think that I would be idiotic enough to bring you into a place that wasn't my own with you like this?" Akechi says from the kitchenette. Glasses clink together.
"I see your point." Akira leans back, watching pale shadows dart across the ceiling.
"Here." A glass is shoved into Akira's hand. He looks back down to see Akechi standing across from him. "Drink this and go to sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."
Akechi turns and leaves the living room. He walks down a short hall and gestures to a door on his left. "The bathrooms right here." He turns into the shut door on the right and enters it. He shuts it a moment later.
Akira sips the water. It tastes like tap water but it's heavenly for the pounding that's found its way into his head. He drinks half of it before a heavy tiredness settles into his bones. He sets the glass down on the coffee table, placing a coaster beneath it. He rests his head on one of the throw pillows. He shifts for a few moments before closing his eyes but is out even faster than that.
—
Akira awakes to a burning bright light and a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He sits up and shields his eyes from the light coming in from the window. Akechi sits at the island on a bar stool, diligently writing.
"You didn't think to shut the blinds?" Akira asks, trying not to hiss. The glass of water is still on the coffee table. Akira grabs it and takes a sip. It's warm but not uncomfortably so.
"It's better to work with natural light." Akechi puts the pen down and turns around on his stool. A bit of a grin is working its way onto his face. The lights in the kitchenette are on.
"Asshole." Akira bites off. He stands, pausing a moment for the dizziness to pass and walks over to the window to shut the blinds.
"You brought this onto yourself. You're the one that downed copious amounts of alcohol." Akechi's expression turns serious, his lips pressed into a thin line. "Which reminds me, you still need to tell me what you were doing last night."
Akira grimances, sitting back down onto the couch. Everything that was trying to ignore, every problem that he finally thought would be solved with everyone remembering, had pressed down on him all at once. He couldn't take it so he did the only thing that he thought would work: drink himself into a stupor to the point he couldn't remember anything. "They couldn't remember."
"I gathered that much." Akechi watches him, frowning slightly. "Or this conversation would be going very differently. It still doesn't explain why you decided to drink last night."
"I didn't want to remember." Akira sighs, running a hand through his hair. It was greasy. "The only thing I remember now is these runs. For once, I didn't want that to be all that I know." He pauses and swallows. The words were thick and conjugated in his throat but he had to say them. "I don't know if we can even break free of the cycles."
His words hover in the room, staining the atmosphere with the realizations that Akira didn't want to think about. They rested deep within his heart, where the thin shards of emptiness will always be kept.
"We can't think like that if we're going to stop them." Akechi's voice is cold, borderlining harsh. "At that point we're giving up, giving in to things that are controlling our lives. Isn't that what the Phantom Thieves fight against? What you started?"
"But they'll never know." Akira clenches his hands together in his lap. "Is that fair to them? To have lived a lifetime that they don't even get the option to know?"
"You know them better than I do." Akechi says. "Are you sure that it's better if they know?"
Akira remembers how they looked when they finally remembered. It seemed like everyone was okay with it, accepting that what had come to pass was unchangeable. But he could see the look in Haru's eyes when she glanced towards Akechi. Understanding and working with him when he only killed her father once was one thing but when he repeatedly did so run after run was another.
"If we continue like this, any timeline that's the final one, it's likely that we're going to be following the same script as the original run." Akira looks up to meet Akechi's gaze. It's surprisingly fractured. "That means killing all those people."
Determination dances in thin, fragile shards within Akechi's eyes. "I'm willing to do that if it means ending these cycles. I'm not any more afraid than when I first committed those murders."
"Even mine?"
"It should be your cognition, if everything goes according to your friends' plans." A grin rests on Akechi's lips, slightly unsteady.
"And you'll still mess up with the pancakes at the TV station?" Akira smirks, mirth bubbling up within him. It was muted but it was better than what he was feeling before.
"In my defence, you didn't say anything during the whole conversation. I had no idea that there even was a fourth person there. Even if they were a cat."
"Should I tell Morgana that?"
"I doubt that he could do much." Akechi's grin steadies, growing more vicious. "After all, he is a cat."
"You're lucky none of your Personas are weak to wind or he'd kick your ass."
"It's truly a miracle that Ryuji survived as long as he did."
Akira's grin grows softer, edging with a faint curl of sadness. "We'll stop these cycles."
Akechi's expression flattens, his eyes hardening. "That we will."
—
As of right now, I should still be able to post weekly on Thursdays. But I'm starting my first round of exams, with my first one being next Wednesday. So, if something happens and I'm busy with studying, I may have to delay the chapter by a week. Check out my tumblr for any updates!