"Oi! Brats!" Levi shouted into the dark. "You idiots, where are you?"
You idiot, what have you just done?
No. Not him. She had started it. She had insisted. And he…
… he should stop trying to put the blame on Hanji when all he had thought about for days was Hanji's soft lips, Hanji's firm body, Hanji's sweet smell enveloping him. His half-assed attempts to stop her? Half-assed because he had not wanted it to stop, quite the opposite. By the gods, how her hands on his skin had aroused him. The part of his brain that was obsessed with Hanji had almost taken over and that... that would have led to being naked on that bench in just a few more minutes, buried all the way inside the slick heat of her, it was what he had wanted to feel again for so long.
"Captain Levi?" Armin's blond head and pale face appeared before him in the dark, "Captain Levi, we were looking for you!"
"Yes, you found me," Levi grumbled. "Eren and Historia are missing?"
"How do you… oh, you heard us?"
"Even a deaf person would have heard," Levi scoffed. "How many times do I need to tell you to be more careful?"
"I'm sorry," Armin sounded miserable. "I was so worried, I forgot."
Hanji doesn't want me to leave, she wants me close. And I want to be close to her. So - I'm going to stay. It's simple, no? That thought almost made him laugh out loud. Did he really believe a mere kiss could change what had thrown him into a blazing agony for five fucking years? She doesn't understand what I am, that's why she wants me close. Slavedogscum, a puppet following someone's orders. I am a danger to her. Why else would he have let her slip away if not for her father's threats? Because of a stupid Survey Corps rule? Sure, he had once believed that such a rule was justified. But now he thought that a rule assuring that your military performance wasn't affected by a love affair should be complemented by a rule telling people whose sanity was threatened by the impossibility of a love affair to sleep with each other at least once a day so they'd get sick of each other. That would fix things.
"Captain Levi?" Armin asked timidly.
"Yes," Levi cleared his throat, there you had it. His mind had wandered to just how he would fix this unbearable tension between himself and Hanji instead of solving the current issue with runaway teenagers. "You think they're in the garden? They should have heard you by now with you trampling about like a herd of mad cows."
"They left right after you and Commander Hange," Armin said, wringing his hands. "Eren was behaving so strangely all evening, I thought…" Armin faltered.
"You thought?"
"Something is wrong with him."
"Yes, something is wrong with him," Levi agreed. "Let's search systematically. We will find them if they're still here."
He whistled loudly once, a signal to regroup, and a few moments later, the rest of the 104th cadet corps broke through the bushes. Minus Eren and Historia. Were these two trying to play some particularly advanced version of hide-and-seek? Or so deeply engrossed in whatever they were doing that they forgot the world around them.
"Floch not here?" Levi asked the group, noticing that Sascha was eagerly chewing on something she held in her hand before Connie threw her a look and she hid whatever she had grabbed from the dessert buffet behind her back. Back to her old self. Good.
"No," Armin shook his head, "he's not really…"
"He's another survivor of Shiganshina and one of the last Survey Corps members, excluding him from the group is not an option," Levi interrupted gruffly. "Now, children. Before we start, let me tell you that it is normal for boys and girls to disappear together. It's…"
"If anything happens to Eren, I'm going to kill her, queen or not," Mikasa pressed out through gritted teeth. Levi saw that Jean was holding her arm in what looked like a hard grip.
"I'm slightly more worried for her," Levi frowned. "It is not good that she is out here without protection. By that I mean guards not the other kind," he added because he recalled another conversation in a tavern not too long ago and… Focus. his mind was going on a tangent again. "Protecting royals and nobles is the job of the military police but that does not mean the Survey Corps can begin to jeopardize them."
"Aren't we safe here?" Armin asked, his voice shaking. "We're in Mitras."
"No, we're not safe," Levi scoffed. "And who knows whether we ever will be."
"Levi's right," Hanji said, appearing on the path behind him. "We don't yet understand what we're up against next. Nor can we be sure that there are no other Titans hiding in our midst. We have to be careful."
"Commander!" The kids saluted and Levi stepped aside so she could take over to organize the search. And he could look at her from the side without anybody noticing. Her face was tense, she was probably still not feeling well. I cannot leave her like this. I'll take her to all the doctors I can find until one can help her.
Hanji asked the younglings a few questions. Levi looked at her face again. She wanted to talk about things? He hated to talk about things, he'd much rather do things. Begged the question why he was so reluctant to talk about what had happened five years ago, didn't it. Levi didn't have to think long to answer that: He was afraid. Afraid that he would crumble if he let himself remember everything that had happened in that cave in the Underground. Afraid that he would remember something that confirmed his fears. Afraid that what he had felt for Hanji... was not real. And at the same time afraid that it was and he had wasted five fucking years because he was a coward. He could have lost her so many times. He almost had. So… it was so much easier to be stubborn and pretend it no longer mattered, that it was all in the past and should stay there.
But once again, the Underground was reaching out to him. A mere coincidence that Annika had come to see him today with news about Renzo when he had gone to see Maria? Possible that it signified nothing, yet Annika's words were still chasing themselves around in his head. A lead on the Panther? Who had never even left? Who had wanted… me. An Ackerman. What fucking for? I never understood.
As Armin talked about Eren's strange behavior during the feast, Levi listened into the night. The festivities were continuing in the far distance, voices, laughter, a bit of music drifted through the air. Nobody seemed to care that the entire Survey Corps had left. With the Queen. It was like securing Wall Maria had driven all caution out of people's heads. They cannot even imagine an outside, Levi realized. They have never seen it. Most don't even want to.
The large royal garden was quiet… too quiet. It was like it held its breath. His skin prickled.
Frowning, Levi took a cautious step to the right, all his senses coming alert. His hand went to his knife which… he didn't carry tonight. No weapons allowed in the palace.
"Where are you going?" Hanji asked in surprise.
He signalled with hand signs 'someone is listening, just go on'. She nodded and signalled back 'understood', her body tensing. 'You stay', he signalled to the whole group.
"Alright," Hanji said, "let's fan out. Armin, you walk in this direction until you reach the garden wall. Jean, you go to the opposite. Connie, you…"
Levi sneaked away as quietly as he possibly could as she continued talking. It got darker and darker the further away from the main path he moved but there were many very dark places in the Underground and he had learned as a kid to move through them fast and with no fear, using touch and smell and his instincts.
There was a presence somewhere to the right, the very faint smell of sweat and smoke came to Levi's nose as he crept on. He cocked his head to listen. Nothing. Whoever it was, it was not an amateur. Slowing down even further to avoid stepping on twigs or leaves underfoot, Levi crawled forward. Suddenly, another smell hit his nostrils - a smell that made his body want to freeze up in terror, which made him instantly livid with rage. Lilac and starch! Fucking Hange house guards? If it was Basil… he'd have to break his legs this time. Or even better, his neck.
Hanji's group started moving. Levi used the deliberate noise they made as cover to speed up and gain ground on his prey. There he was, crouching low behind a bush. Levi jumped right onto the other man's back.
"Are you looking for me?" he growled, pressing his fingers hard into the man's windpipe, his arm locked tightly around the sturdy neck, ready to snap it. But it wasn't Basil. The bulky man underneath him gurgled and thrashed in panic and Levi pressed harder, but the other presence he had sensed was already moving towards them to help. Because of a whooshing sound, Levi ducked to the side - something hit a tree with a resounding thunk behind him. The Hange guard used the split second during which Levi's fingers slackened to ram an elbow into Levi's side and scramble up.
"Out," he urged as he began to run. "Leave! It's the Ackerman!"
Levi dove after him but let himself fall flat on the earth when there was another whooshing sound. He felt the air move as something zipped by his head. He lay still for a moment and listened… There were several people running now, impossible to tell who was friend and who was enemy.
"They're headed for the wall!" He yelled. "Be careful, they are armed!"
Staying low, he took pursuit. There was a little stream further up that he jumped over, then an area with rose bushes that forced him to take a detour. The intruders changed direction just as he left the little footpath. Levi followed, cutting across a lawn. But he wasn't gaining ground on them, his boots weren't made for running, dammit, and he usually flew through the air at great speed, something he much preferred to crawling through thorny underbrush. And who the fuck had designed such a weird garden? There was a looming rock formation in his way all of a sudden, it was where the little stream originated, he realized, and…
Levi stopped dead in his tracks. That's where they are, he knew with sudden certainty, they have to be.
Had the intruders realized too? Quickly, he scaled up the steep side of the hillock, crouching low once he reached the top, ready to pounce on anyone who tried to approach. He couldn't see much. Behind him, the palace blazed like a star in the night, blinding anyone who looked that way. To the left, there was the string of lanterns seaming the main path like luminous pearls on a necklace. Below him was a sea of shadows. The thick clouds were blocking out all the light from the moon and the ampel royal gardens were facing away from other houses and street lights. Levi squinted hard… There was movement near the wall.
"Shit," he cursed. The intruders would get away, Hanji and the others were too slow. But at least they had not gotten their hands on Eren and Historia.
Turning his attention to the rock formation he was perched on, he spotted a path below him that he jumped onto, then jogged down and around until he found what he had expected to find: A little cave overlooking the garden, a romantic getaway for foolish royals who wanted to feel daring and free. Or… a hiding place for foolish teenagers that found themselves unexpectedly hunted in a royal garden.
"You in here?" he asked, carefully poking his head in. The air was warm and stale in the little alcove, it smelled like a den full of frightened animals.
"Yes," Historia whispered with a shaking voice. "Captain Levi, I'm so glad you're here."
"Is he hurt?" Levi stepped inside, immediately noticing Eren's ragged breathing that was interlaced with sobs.
"No," Historia said, "no, not really."
"The intruders are gone," Levi informed the Queen. "What the fuck were you doing out here alone, you blithering idiots?"
He paused in his track when a faint golden sizzle briefly illuminated the scene before him. Queen Historia in her white gown - well… once white, now very dirty - sitting on the ground, Eren's head cradled in her lap, his arms slung around her middle, her hand in his.
It was Eren who was sizzling.
"What does he think he's doing?" Levi grunted. "Eren! Oi! Stop that this instance!"
But Eren only hugged Historia more fiercely and the sizzling intensified. Levi acted instinctively by dashing forward to separate the Queen from the Titan Shifter, which was idiotic because had Eren transformed in that cave, their deaths would have been a certainty.
Eren didn't transform. But when Levi grabbed Historia's arm and roughly pushed Eren away from her, there was a discharge so strong, he was catapulted backwards so that his body hit the cave wall with an ugly thud. He instantly blacked out…
… and found himself standing in a very strange place, empty all around but in front of a pair of gigantic white double doors that shimmered, the door handles way above his head.
"Mama?" he heard someone whine… It was himself. He was stuck inside the body of a child… his own body as a child, Levi realized with mounting confusion, what the fuck? "Mama, are you there? Are you there?"
He hammered against the door with his tiny fists, boom, boom, boom, the wood shuddered, but he knew that it was forbidden to cross over the threshold, his mother had told him again and again, "don't go there, Levi, you cannot walk on the Path, you cannot, they will get you if you do, do you understand?"
But he hadn't understood. This place called out to him all the time, only that he didn't want to make his mother cry, so he didn't try to open the door. And here they were again, his memory-dreams, he felt the terror of being in that cavern in the Underground just like back then, with the Panther and Oliver prodding him for secrets he didn't know the answers to, but realizing suddenly that he did know where the answers were, they were behind that door, but his mother had forbidden him to go there, he was a good boy, he would never do anything to displease his poor mother and… she is dead, she is dead, she is dead…
With a gasp, he opened his eyes.
"Levi, Levi, can you hear me? Levi?"
Panting, he grabbed the hand that was cupping his cheek, anything to hold on to, to tell him this was the here, the now, the real. Incredible relief flooded him when he saw it was Hanji, Hanji who held a flickering light. With a shudder he pressed her hand so hard the bones shifted inside and she winced, which caused him to let go instantly though he really didn't want to. He lifted his head floor off the and saw a wild-eyed 104th positioned between himself and Eren - who sat in a corner crying, his face pressed against the stone wall.
"Fuck," Levi moaned and put his head back down. Everything hurt, even his teeth.
"What happened," Hanji asked him, "are you alright?"
He had no clue what had happened. He probably didn't want to know. Miraculously, he hadn't broken any bones Levi concluded when he gingerly moved every limb. He had just hit his head a little too hard. With a groan, he pushed himself into a sitting position.
"He didn't mean to do it!" Armin yelled at him. As if he were the threat here.
Levi put his head on his knees, wishing everyone except for Hanji to the devil. Fucking Titan shifter, he was a menace. Fucking Queen who was just a child and didn't realize what dangerous place the world was. Fucking brats who stood up for each other without knowing anything.
"Please don't put Eren in prison again," Mikasa pleaded, "please."
"Yes, he should spend his life in prison, the fucking menace," Levi wanted to say, but his head hurt too much to speak.
"Don't worry," Hanji reassured the 104th, "Queen Historia said Eren didn't mean to hurt Captain Levi and I believe her."
Oh, you do? Levi faught surging nausea, pressing his fingers against his temple. The difference between meaning to hurt him and hurting him anyway was marginal from his perspective.
"Just a discharge of Titan power, probably a defensive mechanism," Hanji continued. Her hand was on Levi's back and he wanted her to keep it there because those memories that had begun to flood him earlier held the biggest dread of his life. Hanji dead, burnt to a crisp by gigantic Titans. "Right, Levi?"
"Fucking menace," he pressed out because that summed everything up neatly. "I'll need to smack him more often."
"I'll help you with the smacking," Mikasa grumbled but it was apparent how relieved she was that Eren was safe and had not been found in a compromising situation.
"Well, nobody's truly hurt," Hanji summarized the situation, patted Levi on the back once and got up. "Let's go back to the palace. We need to talk."
###
Pixis and Dok were summoned. Apparently, Zackly had already left because he had felt his art was underappreciated by the people present. They all met in a backroom that was so white it hurt Levi's eyes. He kept his head down, finding it easier to not throw up this way. Maybe he had hit his head a little harder than was good. That would explain his strange dream. Well, he hoped it did.
"Intruders?" Pixis frowned. "Who would dare?"
Levi told them about the person who had shot arrows at him and the person who wore Hange livery.
"Hmhmhmmm," Pixis turned one of the arrows they had retrieved in his fingers. "Blouse, you recognize this?"
Sasha nodded. "It's an arrow used for hunting in the Southern Territories. I have never seen this particular pattern before though." She pointed at the arrow's fletching that was black, white and red. "Different families use different types of arrows so that we always know who owns a kill."
"A hunter from the Southern Territories and a Hange house guard. What an unlikely pair," Pixis pursed his lips. "What did they want?"
"We think they might have wanted to kidnap the Queen," Hanji said. "Historia, tell them about the note."
Historia nodded and took a step forward. "I was handed a note by one of the servants right before dessert. It read: 'Come see me in the garden. Tamara.'"
The Queen blushed a color reminding Levi of overripe tomatoes. She looked down at her thoroughly ruined shoes. Silence fell.
"Let me pose the obvious question here," Levi said acidly. "Who is Tamara?"
"Someone I know," Historia murmured, her face continuing to burn. "From the orphanage."
"And you thought it was likely she would follow you here and wanted a secret meeting in the garden?" Levi scoffed.
"Maybe I didn't think," Historia lifted her eyes defiantly and glared at Levi.
"Maybe you fucking should," Levi gave back, taking a step towards her. "Let's just forget for a moment that you are our Queen and let me be frank. I'm going to thrash you senseless if you ever put your life in jeopardy again like this, you fucking idiot!"
"It's my fault," Eren interjected tearfully. "I wanted to be alone with her. I saw that Captain Levi and Commander Hange left together and I thought…"
"If only you knew how to actually do that," Levi growled, "even just once would be nice."
"I don't get it," Dok interjected. "The Titan shifter saw his superior Commanders leave together for some 'air' and, encouraged by that, thought that this was his chance to make a move on the Queen?"
Mikasa growled, Jean frowned, Historia blanched, Connie and Sasha exchanged confused glances and Eren just looked guilty as fuck.
"It's not like this," Historia whispered. "Eren is my friend. What you're implying is… I don't even like m..."
"No need to explain yourself," Hanji caught her off with a short, warning glance in her direction.
"I wanted to ask her something," Eren murmured. "Something private. How should I have known someone was out there trying to hunt us?"
"Ah!" Pixis beamed. "You wanted advice on something that young men need advice on? Good, good, that makes sense. So, let's summarize. Someone tried to lure the Queen outside, but Eren did not know. He just waited for a good opportunity to sneak away with her. Because you knew you'd be reprimanded for that, you waited until your superior officers were no longer around to see it. Is that it?"
Eren's large green eyes were swimming in tears as he looked at Historia. That was clearly not it. But Levi had a pretty strong hunch that whatever the truth was, it was something Pixis and Dok didn't need to hear just yet.
"A Queen does not disappear into a dark garden with a Titan shifter. A Queen doesn't disappear with anyone, full stop," Levi lectured them. "And you, Eren, start behaving like an adult or we will have to feed you to somebody else."
An empty threat. Even if they wanted to do something cruel like this, they had no Titan serum.
"Be my fucking guest!" Eren yelled at him, his eyes flashing angrily. "I never wanted this, never! Why don't you become the Founder, Captain Levi? You always know what to do, don't you?"
"Probably not a good idea," Hanji said quietly. "Not before we understand what makes the Ackermans special."
Eren had hidden his face behind his hands again. Levi didn't want to feel sorry for the boy, but he did. None of them had been handed a chance for a beautiful, happy life - but Eren's fate was a degree worse than the rest. Too much responsibility too early. Eren was not ready. But the rest of them had no choice but to trust in him anyway.
"I do not understand why my father would want to kidnap the Queen," Hanji frowned.
"I don't understand either," Dok said stiffly. "The nobles are unhappy about the military rule but not about the Queen. I'll try to find out what's going on."
"So we don't understand the motivation behind this incident," Pixis summarized. "But we know the Queen is in danger. We got lucky tonight because someone needed to get 'air' together."
"It was Armin who alerted us," Levi corrected him. "Commander Hange and I were a bit too busy taking the air together to notice anything."
Hanji blinked in surprise and all the kids exchanged knowing glances. Get used to it, Levi thought viciously, I plan to take the air together frequently from now on, I will no longer be a coward.
"Levi," Hanji addressed him. "You need to leave tonight." What? His face must have shown his surprise because Hanji made a step in his direction. "You will take Historia to the orphanage and then we wait and see who makes a move."
"Have her act as bait?" Levi frowned.
"Wouldn't be the first time we use that trick," Hanji nodded.
Right. One of Erwin's favorite tactics. Make Levi go to the Underground and see who makes a move, cause a bloodbath in the process. Use Eren and Historia to flush out enemies and then orchestrate a coup d'état. Use Historia to draw out a new nuisance and… what? Bring down the Walls?
"Okay," Levi agreed.
"Eren, Mikasa, Armin and Jean will join you," Hanji said. "Connie, Sasha and Floch stay here with me."
"But I…"
"No, Sasha. You're still not well enough to ride for that long."
There were no more objections from anyone after Hanji informed Pixis and Dok how they fit into the plan. Levi looked at Hanji sullenly as they all got ready to leave.
"Is there something you want to say?" she asked him, dropping her voice low as they stepped out of the room.
"Yes," he said fiercely.
"Then say it."
"I… erm…" He took a deep breath. I wanted to stay with you. Now you're sending me away?
"I have realized you never tell me anything," she said with a tiny smile, "can we change that?"
"I'll... try," he grumbled.
"Did you want to stay, is that it?" Her face grew sober again. She stopped, waving the others forward when they looked back.
"Yes. Yes, that's it," he admitted.
"I appreciate it. But I'll be fine without you."
What if I'm not fine without you? Levi stared into her tired face.
"Thanks for taking the air with me," she said and bent forward to press a quick kiss on his cheek. "Sorry if I pushed you."
"I think… I think I want you to keep pushing me in the future," Levi stammered, feeling his face heat up.
"I understand your concerns," Hanji said and put her hand on his arm to press it. "We will get to the bottom of this, alright? But please be careful. You're going to be bait too, you know that?"
He nodded.
"That's what the Ackermans were there for, weren't they?" she asked. "To protect the royal bloodline."
"I guess so," he said gloomily.
"What happened in that cave?" Hanji asked.
His mind went blank. They had gotten too close to making him lose his mind in that cave. He couldn't talk about it, couldn't… staring into her puzzled face, Levi realized she didn't mean that cave at all.
"Eren sizzled," he explained hoarsely, feeling quite ashamed of himself for not keeping his shit together. "When I touched him, I got zapped."
"He is hiding something," Hanji told him. "You have to watch Eren extra carefully. You heard what he said before we all went up to the palace?"
Levi nodded. He had heard indeed. Eren had sobbed: "Save Historia, please save Historia" and "I am so sorry, Mikasa, so very sorry."
"This is not just a phase all boys go through at the age of fifteen," Hanji sighed. "Eren is scared of something but he doesn't want to tell us what it is."