Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to send Levi away with Historia, Eren and the rest after all, Zoë thought gloomily as she watched the sun set behind the Wall around Trost. Waiting for news was going to be torture.

It was the third day after their departure from Mitras and the others should have arrived securely at their destination two days ago. The orphanage was situated in the vast grasslands south of Stohess and east of Hermina, about an 11-12 hours ride from the Capital. Knowing Levi, he had probably pressed on with only a few short breaks, using the dark as cover to get as far away as possible before people could realize the Queen was no longer around. Pixis, Dok and her had agreed to position Military Police and Garrison officers in the larger vicinity of the orphanage - without telling the soldiers what exactly they were guarding - but it would still take hours before she would ever get wind of an incident back here at the Survey Corps headquarters in Trost.

The very empty headquarters in Trost. Which reminded her of only one thing: loss.

Were their fallen comrades watching them? Sometimes, it felt like it. Sometimes, she even wished she could converse with them: Mike, are you happy? I am sorry I never was to you what you hoped I could be - Moblit, why did you look so content when you gave your life for mine? - Erwin, can you give me some advice? I really don't know what to do, I think we're all going to die.

But she wished even more that Levi were here. She'd go look for him right now, probably finding him in his room reading a book. Did he still have this strange habit of picking random books from the library? If asked what he was reading, he would probably say: "A book", not even bothering to look up. She would ask him to have a drink with her, either in the kitchen or at a tavern. Not that tavern - that thirsty waitress was just waiting to go on the offensive. And she would ask him…

… what went wrong between us, Levi? How was it possible we went from hope to despair in just one day? Why did we allow this to happen? Why had she yielded so easily? Why had she not challenged his withdrawal, the erection of walls between them? Why, why, why? I was too shaken by losing you. Seeing you alive was like a gift after the grief. I thought it was enough - I thought that just having you next to me was enough. How stupid.

Why had she sent him away? No choice, duty. If someone was hunting the Queen, they had to hunt who hunted the Queen. The quicker they got to the bottom of this the better. Afterwards, they needed to concentrate on ridding the territory between Wall Rose and Wall Maria of Titans - as fast as possible. Then… finding that thing called the ocean. Seeing the ships. Spying on unknown enemies. Finding out just how screwed they were.

"Fuck," her scarecrow reflection in the window looked at her wit's end.

"Yeah, it's too dark," Maria said behind her and swiftly lit a few lamps whose flickering warm light chased away part of the room's gloom. "I hear it's bad for the eyes."

"Uh… you're still here?" Zoë turned around in surprise. She remembered sending Connie and Sasha away to have dinner a while ago. How had she forgotten about Maria?

"Gotta finish sorting this pile here," Maria answered absentmindedly. "I can't fall asleep if I leave things unfinished."

Her blond locks artfully tousled, Maria was peering hard at the document she held in her hand. She knew how to read, but it took her quite an effort, which made her willingness to stay and help even more puzzling. Without a doubt though, Maria was useful. In Zoë's absence, she had worked out a labeling and filing system that allowed for the quick retrieval of important documents. The system involved wooden boxes sponsored by the Reeves Company, as the lettering on the side proved.

If only she could trust the young woman, Zoë thought moodily, fingering the slip of paper in her trouser pocket.

"Maria, have you seen Annika recently?" she asked casually, plopping down on the precariously creaking chair behind the desk.

"Mhm," Maria murmured noncommittally in reply.

"She's mainly in Mitras, isn't she? And you live in Trost now?"

"Yes. I live in Trost. How else would I be here?" Maria looked up with a frown. "What has Anni done?"

Zoë shrugged. Nothing really. "I saw her during the ceremony," Zoë wrinkled her nose. Just hugging Levi, making a huge scene in front of all the high ranking military officers. It had definitely rubbed her the wrong way. Which was a little ridiculous.

"She tried to make you jealous, I guess?" Maria stretched, her joints popping audibly. "You just have to put your foot down. He's your man, isn't he?"

Zoë blinked. My man? I wish. "Are you two friends?"

"What?" Maria laughed. "Friends?! Nobody is friends with Annika. She's horrible."

"But you asked me to help her."

"Should I have let her die after what she did for us? Surely not."

"Levi gave me something for you," Zoë pulled out the slip of paper from her pocket and held it out to the young woman.

Maria came over, wiped her hands on her apron before taking the message, unfolded it curiously and read it with concentration.

"Do you know what this says?"

"No," Maria shook her head, locks bouncing. "But it's for Anni anyway."

"Exactly." Zoë hated that Levi had written a note to Annika. She hated that she had not trusted him and had tried to read it - only to be frustrated by its illegibility on top of feeling guilty.

"It's written in some sort of code. Levi and Annika worked together before, different gangs use different code systems."

"I'm aware of their past," Zoë grumbled. "But why would he give this to me to give to you to give to Annika?"

"Why did you not ask him yourself?" Maria pulled a face, putting the note into the folds of her skirt before walking back over to her own small desk. "I think he doesn't want you to know what it says."

"I know!" Zoë raked her hands through her hair in frustration. "But why? It could be important. Will you meet with her?"

"No. But I have the means to get this to her."

Okay. Maria was no longer working with Annika it seemed. But it proved that the Underground was well organized. When the appearance of Bertolt and Reiner had plunged the military into a crisis, not too few Undergrounders had made their way up to the surface upon finding the stairs unguarded. They had posed as refugees from the outer wall, hiding their identities and subsequently making new lives for themselves. But they had not forgotten their origins. They were helping each other.

"Have you ever gone back?"

"Back where?" Maria asked, carefully sorting documents into one of the boxes that was labeled 'logistics, horses, past'.

"The Underground."

"Are you crazy? Why would I!"

Good question. Family, maybe. Nostalgia. Tapping her nose with a finger, Zoë realized that her own experience in the Underground was not comparable to someone's who had actually grown up there. She knew nothing about Maria, apart from the fact that she had worked as a prostitute. A very young prostitute.

"So you're a baker now?" She asked the girl, suddenly curious.

"You don't need to feign interest in me," Maria didn't look up this time, "it's fine. I want to finish this and then go home."

"Uhm, I actually want to talk to you," Zoë said a little defensively. "I'm not feigning anything!"

"Why?" Maria stared at her. "You don't like me. That's fine, I don't need you to like me. I'm doing this because you helped us, not because I like you. I don't, actually. I think you're super weird."

Weird? Zoë grinned. Yeah, Crazy Hange was certainly a bit special.

"See?" Maria scoffed. "Weird when you grin like that. And creepy."

"You were sent up here to lure Levi back to the Underground five years ago."

"Yeah, so what? I worked for Xandra back then and she knew he was in danger. I volunteered to establish contact because I wanted to kill Levi if I got a chance. Doesn't mean I still hate him. I don't, actually. Levi is alright."

"I'm sorry Xandra died," Zoë said, surprised to realize that it was true. Was there anybody else who knew anything about Levi's mother and heritage now that Kenny was also dead? Apart from Annika.

"I was lucky she was the one who took me in," Maria nodded. "She was like a mother to us girls, paying for our medical bills, looking for a good solution when one of us got pregnant, making sure the customers behaved."

"Would you want to take revenge for her?" Zoë leaned back, folding her arms. "If you could."

Maria shook her head. "I'm not going back down, ever. But I know that Anni is planning to."

In alarm, Zoë sat up straight. Is that it? If that witch gets Levi in trouble again…

"You don't need to glare at me like that," Maria pouted. "It's just what I heard. Renzo is terrified that Levi might find the time to pay him a visit."

Would she allow Levi time off to settle this open score? She would have to. "Maybe I'll go down in person to kick Renzo's artistic ass," she murmured angrily.

"I should probably remind you that you have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow afternoon," Maria said. "Levi told me to make sure you go because you'd forget."

"Urgh," Zoë exclaimed.

"Why?" Maria grinned. "The doctor is great. He gave me some tea for abdominal pain and it really helped."

"I'm not going to drink tea in the hope it will help against the loss of an eye!" Zoë complained. "That's just ridiculous!"

"Tsk," Maria replied. "It won't bring back your eye but it might help with your balance. And isn't there something wrong with your ears too?"

"Levi sure briefed you in detail," Zoë grumbled.

"He is just concerned," Maria shrugged, "that's an excellent quality in a man. My husband is like that too, he will be on pins and needles because I'm not home yet."

"Oh, I didn't mean to keep you this long!" Zoë exclaimed, "he might be angry with you. Just go already!"

"He's not angry," Maria beamed, suddenly looking impossibly young, "he never is. It's just weird that he likes someone like me? So I guess I need to test whether he still does from time to time. That's why I like to stay a bit longer sometimes."

Zoë watched the young woman busy herself with more documents, realizing she had never before in her life chatted with another woman about mundane things such as men and their protective streaks.

"You don't need to look at me like that," Maria said, throwing Zoë a dark look. "Of course you don't have doubts, being a Commander and being so smart and all. But I do. I told him what line of work I used to be in. He even knows I'm from the Underground - and he still married me. But I can't have children anymore because of something that happened when I was younger and…"

"Did somebody hurt you?"

Maria's face turned sober at Zoë's shocked outburst. "I got pregnant because I didn't really know how… well, how it all worked before the first man took me. They forced the unborn baby out of me and… something broke in there. So… no more children. My husband says he doesn't mind? I just have a hard time believing it, don't all men want children?"

Maria would probably take it the wrong way if she showed how shocked and sorry she was about what happened to her in the past, Zoë thought, and she really didn't want to stop talking about such topics with another human being. She probably was weird as Maria thought but it felt… good and a bit exciting to share intimate things.

"Just like me," she said. "I can't have children either."

"Oh," Maria blinked, surprised. "Is that why you got divorced?"

"Divorced…?" she means me and Levi, Zoë realized. "Ah, no. No. That wedding wasn't real."

"What?" Maria sounded outraged. "Who told you that?"

"Well… Levi?"

"That's so typical!" Maria yelled, hitting her desk with both hands. "Of course it's real!"

"It's okay," Zoë grinned sheepishly, "it's totally fine. We are not allowed to be married and serve together in the military anyway and…"

"See, I knew it," Maria said bitterly. "Men want children. When a woman can't have children, they dump her for someone else."

"No, he didn't dump me for…"

But Maria wasn't even listening. "That's why I cannot trust my husband's words when he claims it does not matter to him. He probably only feels sorry for me. As soon as I get wrinkles, he will find another woman."

"He doesn't sound like that to me?" Zoë offered. "Maybe he really likes you?"

"As soon as I see Levi again, I'm going to tell him what I think of his behavior," Maria frowned. "People still talk about your wedding, those who were there absolutely loved it!"

"Ah, no… no, it's really fine," Zoë felt herself blush. "We both moved on to other people after what happened in the Underground."

"What, you cheated on him?" Maria looked more outraged if that was even possible.

"No! We broke things off before that."

"He should have been honest with you about the wedding," Maria huffed. "And about wanting children. Sometimes, it's really hard to talk to men, why can't they just say how they feel?"

"I agree," Zoë nodded, thinking of Levi's stubborn face. But then she remembered some of Levi's honest words and that… suddenly, her heart hurt. He had told her how he felt. Don't leave me. But she had left him, hadn't she.

"So," she cleared her throat, twice, "why do all men want children?"

"Duh, to continue 'their line', of course," Maria replied. "They want to feel like gods, creators of life."

"They do?" that sounded correct to Zoë, so she nodded slowly.

"Yes," Maria nodded too. "So why can't you have children?"

"Oh, the doctors said so when I didn't start to bleed in my teens. They don't know why."

"You don't have monthlies?" Maria's eyes grew big. "Oh, that must be great. I still get them even though they serve no purpose and it hurts so much! Ah, that's what I got the herbal tea mix for from the Oriental doctor. Maybe you should tell him about not having monthlies? He might know how to fix it."

"That makes no sense," Zoë scoffed. "That teas should make me be able to have children. It's just a mix of herbs!"

Maria shrugged. "Why not try?"

"I don't even want any," Zoë retorted. "What a nuisance they would be in my line of work!"

How to handle little Levis grabbing for her tits to be fed or running around hitting each other over the head until they cried? The memory of a dream she had once had repeatedly rose inside of her, a house on a little hill that oversaw a sea of red, yellow and purple wildflowers…

"I'll watch them when you're out doing important things!" Maria beamed. "But only if they don't inherit Levi's character."

That made both of them laugh …Before reality hit Zoë like a ton of bricks sobering her more effectively than a sudden icy downpour. She couldn't have children and that was that. Those dreams of a house on a hill had been drug induced. Reality held responsibilities she had yet to master. Fighting down a feeling of loss, she pulled out her epic todo list from one of the drawers and settled down to write a letter to one of their suppliers.

That night, she dreamt of making love to Levi on a large bed, with the smell of wild roses in the air. In contrast to the short and hectic time they had gotten to spend together, they had all the time in the world to explore each other's bodies. His touch was gentle and curious, his eyes full of admiration. She felt warm, comfortable and cherished. If only she didn't have to wake up - life was so much better in her dreams.

###

Levi woke from his slumber aching and as hard as a rock. No wonder, he had dreamt of lying with Hanji on a large bed, about touching each other everywhere, driving him quite insane with lust and longing. He had hoped he wouldn't have to wake up before they got more serious but as soon as that thought had manifested, the dream had shattered. With a frustrated growl, he reached down to give himself relief. He imagined Hanji sprawled before him on her back as he jerked himself off, so unaware how desirable her body was with those slight curves, the long muscular legs, that patch of hair at the junction of them, glistening from her juices, so welcoming, how much he wanted to push into her, to make her moan, to hear her say his name...

…he came with a grunt, several spurts all over his stomach. Panting, he lay in the tentative morning light feeling empty and defeated, though he'd take this kind of a dream over the violent ones he usually had at any time. Or even better: he'd take the woman from his dream into his bed if he could. Right now.

But she was far away. Further than she had ever been in all the time they had known each other. He had missed her for years. But now, the hollow feeling was bigger than ever.

With a sigh, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and walked over to the washbasin. The water from the pitcher was slightly warm but it would do - Levi carefully cleaned himself with a piece of cloth, then washed his face and his torso with soap. His clothes were arranged neatly on the single chair in this simple room, just brown trousers and a white shirt like all the farmhands wore.

Another day was breaking. Another day to discover who it was who had developed a dangerous interest in their Queen.

During their breakneck ride from the Capital to the orphanage, Queen Historia had remembered why she had given Connie the note asking for Levi; one of the boys claimed he had spotted weird strangers watching them from a distance. But then Shiganshina happened and such trifle, potentially made-up worries had not mattered in its aftermath. Some things never changed though, however many soldiers lost their lives trying to save humanity, Levi thought: There were always more assholes who wanted to harm them. Knowing that they lived inside the walls was particularly bad, given what waited for them outside.

He'd never forget. Whenever he was tempted to relax and feel content about what they had accomplished, he recalled the mutilated, crushed bodies of his comrades for a dose of reality. When his anger flared, he imagined hunting down and cornering the Beast Titan, cutting him up slash by slash, ripping out the Beast's human from the carcass' nape, then cutting off his legs and arms over and over. Eternal suffering. He'd give his own life to dish that out.

Well. Nothing better than violent thoughts to get you going in the morning.

Levi left his room and walked towards the dining room. It was far too early for any of the kids to be up, but he could hear Claire the Cook busying herself in the kitchen. Breathing in the comforting smell of baked goods fresh from the oven, he was greeted with a warm smile when he entered the kitchen and handed a large junk of warm bread with melting butter and dripping golden honey on top.

He was never hungry in the morning but refusing the mute woman anything was simply impossible. She had taken one disapproving look at him when they had first met and had immediately shoved food in his direction, apparently under the impression that Levi needed fattening up.

She watched with an expectant smile as he took a large bite. Quite delicious. He lifted his thumb and she smiled happily.

Behind him, the dairy maid Evelyn came in, loudly banging one of the steel pails against the doorframe.

"Oh, shit!" she cried.

Levi turned around to take one of the buckets from her. She blushed and shot him a shy look from underneath her long, black lashes.

"Thank you," she gulped, putting the second bucket on the table, dashing away to find a rag with which to wipe the milk she had spilled.

Taking a ladle, Claire filled a large glass with milk and held it out to Levi. He hadn't been able to tell her that he had never even tasted milk before coming to the orphanage, thought its silky texture very strange, and suspected it didn't really agree with his stomach. Knowing she would be pleased, he took several large gulps before handing the glass back, wiping his upper lip with the back of his other hand. Evelyn stared at him dreamily from across the room. She was probably around eighteen and needed an older brother or father to tell her to stop looking at men like this.

"I will go milk some more cows," she declared hastily when he shot her an ultra stern look - since she had no father or older brother.

"Yeah, you better," he grumbled, taking another few bites from his bread before the honey could drip down onto the floor.

After washing his hands, Levi waved goodbye to Claire and left the kitchen through the backdoor. The day was young but it was already apparent it would be another scaldingly hot one. Hearing them stir restlessly, Levi went to check on their horses in the stable. Quite obviously, the Survey Corps special breed greatly enjoyed the leisurely pace of the country living, a stark contrast to their normal routine. His own horse lifted his head when he came in and snorted disdainfully.

"Relax," Levi told him, patting its neck, "we're not going out riding right now. You can check out the mares on the pasture all day."

The tousled head of one of the stableboys appeared from the hay in another box. This boy had a room at the main house but refused to use it because he preferred to be near the horses at all times.

"Do you want him saddled, Sir?" the boy yawned.

"No," Levi said, "go back to sleep, it's early."

He and Armin had compiled a list of all the people who worked here. It was a long list but they had managed to talk to everyone. Every single person was friendly, curious, and almost frighteningly nice, more than ready to talk to them and help protect the queen whom they adored. Tamara - the main suspect - was a young woman who watched the children. Tall, slender, with short, shaggy brown hair, gray eyes and freckles on her cheeks - Historia's type. She wasn't lying when she swore she had no clue who could have written a note with her name on it to lure Historia into the garden - she hadn't left the farm even for a second, everyone confirmed it. Still, it had to have been someone, someone who knew about the orphanage, someone who knew about Historia's weakness for women - and they needed to identify that someone quickly before that someone could make their next move.

And while they were at it, Levi also planned to find out what had happened in that cave when Eren's Titan power had zapped him. He kept trying to convince himself that what he had experienced was due to hitting his head when he already knew with cold certainty that that wasn't the explanation. Because what he had seen had not been a hallucination nor a dream - it had been a memory.

All those things he had believed to be dreams, all those frightening images. They were memories. It had taken one good zap from Eren to make them come close to the surface.

He had no clue what it meant. Mikasa had just stared at him like he had lost his mind when he had asked her whether she had ever seen a door that barred the way to an important place. He had also asked her what happened when she touched Eren, which had inexplicably enraged her so much she had run out of the room.

Today, he meant to confirm a theory he had about it.

He settled against the white wall of the main building in the shadow, waiting for the others to stir. The pleasant smell of wild roses drifted through the courtyard as the sun rose. That reminded Levi of his dream and he let his mind wander to what Hanji was doing in Trost, probably still sorting through the insane amount of documents in that office. She'd like it here, he thought, because who didn't? She'd be able to relax and Cook would be more than happy to bake her delicious cake to fatten her up a little. And they would have sex. Lots. He wanted to sleep with Hanji so badly he couldn't possibly hold back the next time he saw her. Council Hange had lied about the consequences, wasn't it obvious? Ackerman or not, it wasn't possible he wouldn't know if some order had been planted inside his brain, no?

Levi had studied a map of the noble families' land holding a while ago. The Hanges owned land inside of Wall Sina and some outside, but far to the north. He couldn't expect Hanji to join him but he'd ride there if time allowed it. If only to find out what Hange knew about the Panther's whereabouts.

Unless the Panther's whereabouts were soon to reveal itself.

It took about an hour for someone to step out of the maids' quarters and scurry across the gravel guiltily like someone who had slept in and was late for school.

It was Eren.

"I hope you listened to what Hanji told you about boys and girls in the tavern?" Levi called out to him.

"Captain Levi!" Eren jumped back and shot furtive looks to the right and left. "I… I didn't…"

"Spare me, I don't care about where you spend the night," Levi scoffed. "But I do need to talk to you."

"I just wanted to talk and then I fell asleep!"

"I said I'm not interested," Levi frowned, "are you deaf? This is about what happened when you touched Historia, not about a tumble in the hay."

Eren lost all color in his face. "How do you…?" he whispered, but then he looked at his hands. "Oh."

"I saw things in that cavern when I touched you. And I want to know what it means," Levi said bitterly. "It's not you - there's no reaction, I confirmed. It's not her either. But it's you, her and me. I'm ready to try again, this time with no walls nearby."

Eren stared at him with huge, frightened eyes. "You have to promise never to harm Historia," he then pressed out.

"Harm Historia?" Levi laughed mirthlessly. "Why would I want to do that?"

"I can use the Founder when I touch a member of the royal family," Eren blurted out.

"Oh," Levi felt a wave of relief. "That's excellent news."

"No," Eren's eyes filled with tears. "No. It's horrible. I saw… I saw..."

The tears were beginning to drip from his eyes now, large droplets that wet the gravel at Eren's feet.

"I saw the future," Eren whispered between sobs. "I needed to confirm, that's why I took Historia outside."

"Hm, I'm guessing you didn't see us living happily on our island with no Titans or outsiders bothering us?"

Eren covered his eyes with his hands, his shoulders shaking.

"How do you know what you are seeing will really come to pass?" Levi asked. "Surely the future is a very unstable thing, constantly shifting depending on what we do?"

"I'm going to be sick," Eren murmured and ran to one of the rose bushes, retching and retching.

Levi considered patting his back but then just stood there until the crisis was over.

"I considered killing myself," Eren whispered, "but I can't die, can I."

"Are you going to tell me what you saw or do I need to imagine it for myself?"

"Everybody dies," Eren pressed out. "The whole world is annihilated."

"Well," Levi mused, looking up at the incredibly vast, blue sky. "That sounds kind of fair to me. So how do I die?"

Eren blinked.

"That bad?"

"No," Eren shook his head with a frown. "It's just that… I cannot see you, Captain Levi. It's… very strange. It's like… you're not there. Neither in the past, nor in the future. Everybody else that I care for, I can feel them, I can reach them. Not you."

"Let's go wake Historia," Levi decided, pushing himself off the wall. "Right now. I'll have to be a bad boy today and rebel against my mother. I think I know why you cannot see me."

"I don't understand what you're saying," Eren stammered but fell in next to him. "Can you help me?"

"The future is not real until it's no longer the future but the present," Levi pressed open the door to the main building. "I refuse to believe that we are not free to choose our own fate. So - if that future you saw is that bad, let's try and change it."

Or die trying.