A little break from the raps. I might have like a sequel/prequel backstory throughout one-shots in a shitty, half-baked timeline.

"Okay, you're Hercules?"

The giant of a man nodded. Confusion wasn't the expression usually shown when someone met the great Hercules. Awe, wonder, girly panic. They were fine. This boy was looking at him with bemused confusion.

"Yes. I am the great Hercules, son of…"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Wassup? Never met you before."

Hercules faltered. Who was this kid? "Who are you, disrespectful mule?!"

The kid rolled his eyes. His dark hair and sea-green eyes were prominent, and it took Hercules a while to place them. Then he started laughing.

"Oh! Hahahahaha! You're a cousin! I see Poseidon all over you. Think that just cause he's your dad you're better than me? My father is the king of the gods!"

The son of Poseidon looked up. "Um. Yeah. You suck at saying hello. My name's Percy. Percy Jackson."

"I do not need your name, foolish mortal. You are beneath me."

"Oh?" Percy raised an eyebrow.

Hercules glanced down. This Percy was smiling benignly at Hercules, almost like a challenge. How was this kid so confident?

"So, um, Hercules," Percy coughed. "Why are you so amazing and respected? I mean, you must have done something."

Hercules went into a coughing fit. Must have done something?! Did this upstart not know anything?

"How dare you! I have done more than any hero in history! As a mere child, I strangled two snakes sent to kill me."

Percy frowned. "I've, like, blown up a school bus with a cannon. Nearly fed my school to sharks. Frequently set things on fire…"

"I fought the Nemean Lion!"

Percy nodded. "I know what that feels like. Did you use astronaut food?"

"Wha…no!"

Inside, Hercules was starting to panic a little.

"I hunted down Artemis' sacred deer!"

Percy shrugged. "My friend did that. Hunting deer isn't really my thing."

"I…uh…I fought this massive boar once!"

Curse it! It was the Erymanthian Boar! That sounds way cooler than big boar. Still…

"I think I fought its girlfriend! It was a couple of days before fighting Kronos."

Hercules could feel nervous sweats on his forehead. What hasn't this kid done? What could he possibly have done? To give him time to think, Hercules blurted,

"This one time, I cleaned stables that had been dirty for hundreds of years."

Percy raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I heard you had help with this. I just used my powers."

"I fought Amazons…"

"Been there."

"…the Minotaur!"

"Done that. I was twelve. And untrained. Just, you know, fun fact."

Then suddenly it hit him. Hercules grinned triumphantly. He was a god. There was no way this pathetic son of Poseidon had done this. Coughing smugly, he said,

"I was such a great hero; I was offered immortality by my father Zeus."

As if this was as simple as being given a gift card, Percy replied, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that! I turned my offer down for this girl I love, so…"

Hercules chucked his club over his shoulder. "I give up," he said, walking off.

Lol. Percy being an overachiever.