James smiled at the sight of Fae and Remus, both completely unconscious. The full moon had gone well for them, very few bruises and fewer injuries. The exhaustion was really the only noticeable thing this time. Fae could sleep like the dead when she was recovering and currently, she had shoved herself under Remus' arm and buried herself deep into his side, wrapping her arms around the boy's middle. Remus was slumped over, head resting on hers, arm clutching at her shoulder and keeping her close. They looked adorable, all cuddled up like that.
And, it certainly helped that they were completely out so James, Sirius, and Peter could talk game plan for over break. They were getting close with the Animagus Potion.
"So we know what we're doing then, boys?"
Sirius grinned and nodded. "Researching and testing out ways to get the leaf to stick on our mouths for an entire month. I'm telling you, a good old sticking charm will work and I'm brilliant at them."
"But sticking charms taste so foul," Peter whined.
"And require casting every few hours to maintain. There's got to be something better and more effective," James said.
Getting the ingredients for the potion had been tricky, but doable over the last term. The final thing they needed each was a mandrake leaf, soaked in their mouth for a full month straight, between two full moons. They had until the next one to figure out, James had decided, and not talking for an entire month was a last resort. Soon, they'd be able to join Remus and Fae for the full moon.
"So. How many chocolate frogs do you think we could stack on them before they wake up?"
There was no place like home. Especially a home with Euphemia singing Christmas carols and Fleamont mussing up her hair and Lucrecia having a custom box of donuts at her specific booth and the woods. Her woods.
Hogwarts had been amazing, but this was home. And Fae probably cried a little bit when she realized how much more this place was home than anywhere else in any of her lives. Fae's body was simply torn between laying in her warm, familiar bed for hours and curling up in her armchair in Fleamont's workshop and stretching out in her booth at Lucrecia's and sprinting through every inch of her woods and spreading books out over her table at the library. Three wonderful days passed by in a flash, just absorbing all the experiences and sensations.
Fae had always wondered what had gone through Euphemia's mind when she saw Fae limping out of the woods covered in blood all that time ago.
As it turned out, there were no thoughts - just a panicked urge to find where the blood was coming from and fix it.
At least, that's what hit Fae when she'd gone for the fourth run through the woods that day and ran right into a bloodied and half-conscious Sirius Black who had somehow apparated to the Potters. She wasn't sure if the blood was because he was splinched or if it happened before and she didn't wonder how he was able to apparate, even illegally since he was only just 16.
She just sent up red sparks, lowered his body to the ground, and started feeling and scanning his body for the worst injury, praying that her miniscule knowledge of healing would be enough to help him right now.
"Come on, Sirius, stay awake!"
He was shirtless. He was splinched - his left leg a bloody mess, but thankfully still mostly there aside from a chunk or two of skin. There were criss-crossed, singed slash marks all across his back and his chest. Eyes unfocused and pupils blown and twitching. Cheeks red and stinging and with a few cuts caused by nails and prickly jeweled rings. No blood coming from his mouth, so hopefully no massive internal injuries. Bare arms spiraled with bruises and littered with tiny cuts, as if he'd been restrained by thorny vines and then whipped. The inside left of his forearm was a bloody mess, almost worse than the splinching. Black ink was mixed in with the blood, but it did not form any sort of mark, although Fae was sickened that they'd certainly tried.
James found her first, not even getting close to them when he yelled, "Fae!"
"Here! Sirius is here and he needs help NOW! He's hurt! Get Mom!"
Considering how injured he had been, Fae was amazed by how quickly they had him sorted out. Euphemia was there in seconds, and then they were all in the living room, the family doctor was there, a mediwitch appeared, and Sirius was screaming as the healing magic reacted badly with some of the residual dark magic lingering in the cuts. Fae kept his head pillowed on her lap, petting his hair and telling him stories, just like when he'd been there for her getting shots all those months back. James, who had only been able to punch walls in hopeless, useless frustration and rage, had been smacked into calmness by Fae and was now at Sirius' side, holding his right hand and promising him that things were going to be okay, that he was never going back there, that they were going to heal him and protect him and love him.
Sirius was pretty out of it for most of the evening, as was the majority of the Potter household following his healing. The ex-heir of the Black household was laid out on the couch in the living room, resting and going in and out of nightmares. The couch, which Fleamont had innovated into a proper magical couch bed, the first of it's kind in the 70s. It was supposed to be a Christmas surprise, but desperate times. Fae was in too much shock to do much more than hug Fleamont and then return to Sirius' side. James was at his other side. The clock ticked and tv played quiet Christmas movies. Sirius woke when Euphemia carried trays of food in for them at dinner. And then, in standard Sirius Black fashion, he was making weak jokes and trying to get smiles out of his friends by 9.
Fae and James laughed through their tears and insisted they were crying out of mirth. Fae tucked herself under Sirius' arm and James pressed himself to Sirius' other side, forehead buried in his shoulder. They fell asleep like that, giggling raspishly over stray jokes and random talking into the night.
Sirius was trying really hard to act like he was okay. He wanted to prove to himself that he was fun-loving and happy and nothing like the Blacks. He wanted to prove that he was okay. Watching him force himself was painful during the next day, but they let him. They let him out of bed to make a dramatic mess out of cooking breakfast in the morning, singing in his scream-hoarse voice to David Bowie at 5am because he couldn't sleep. They let him walk around and insist they carry their day out normally, even though he was limping and flinching with most movements. They let him make as many bad jokes as he could think of and laughed at every one even when they made no sense. They let him run off and cry, pretending he was excitedly going to pick out a room after Euphemia had informed him they had a friend in the ministry who had handled the paperwork and Sirius was to stay there from now on. They let James distract him with pranks and troublemaking and decorating the tree while Euphemia and Fae rushed off to do last-minute Christmas shopping for their newest member of the family.
Diagon Alley was horridly busy two days before Christmas, but they were Potter women with a battle plan and so they were in and out in under an hour. Fae had revised her gift ideas for Sirius and gotten him something much better considering the circumstances, same on behalf of James. Euphemia had gotten him an entire closet full of his clothes easily enough and all the basic household items he would need, with Fae's advice. Fae had also sent a small gift basket to the House of Black - to Regulus Black. It was innocuous, just a basket of flowers and candies, signed by Karly Newton, a cute Slytherin that Romilly and Fae had teased Regulus about a few weeks back because the girl clearly had a crush on him. Reeses Cups and M&Ms. Irises - a message. Geraniums for true friendship twined with Zinnias to know she was thinking of him and worried for him. Larkspur, lightness and levity, Sirius, twined with Lotuses, life, rebirth. Sirius was okay, she wanted to make sure Regulus was okay too. Euphemia commended her skill with Orchideous and with flower arrangements. It was almost more expensive than all the clothes they'd bought for Sirius combined - sending a gift basket at last second right before Christmas. But necessary.
The evening was quieter as Sirius' energy left him despite his efforts. It was only a matter of time and his exhaustion was wearing him down, the adrenaline wearing off, and the thoughts breaking his defenses. Fae was ready for it. As was James. They didn't stay in the living room again that night, Sirius had insisted on settling into his new room. It was to Fae's slight surprise that Sirius chose her - he came knocking a few hours past midnight.
"Are you awake?"
"I am now," she joked, knowing smiles and lightheartedness would put him at ease.
"Can I… talk to you?"
"Always," she said. And then wrapped him in her favorite hoodie and a scarf. He was confused and she winked at him, taking his hand and leading him to the back door. "On one condition," she said.
She kept their hands linked as they walked through the darkness.
"I can't see a thing. Is this where you lead me into the forest and murder me?" he joked.
"I'm whisking you away on an adventure, not to eat you, silly. Besides, I know what kind of diet you have and I wouldn't do that to my health," she joked back.
"An adventure?" he asked, voice genuinely cheerful for the first time all day. Fae grinned and started racing down the path, telling him she'd be his eyes in the darkness and to take a leap of faith. It was the same as those early nights she'd been here, wrapped up in so many thoughts, and brought back to earth with the frigid cold and the thrill of running blindly through the night. She took him to a 24-hour diner, not too far from Lucrecia's. Sat him down at a table, got them coffee, and asked the waiter to bring them two heaping plates of greasy fries and burgers in about half an hour. Sirius was laughing and grinning, and then as they settled, his smile slowly faded. He stared into his coffee like Professor Johannes stared into empty teacups, looking for answers.
They were safe here. Nobody in the diner, but them and the cooks. It was an entirely separate dimension, just for them. Fae waited for him to talk.
"How did you know that you were gay?"
Fae shrugged. "Because I saw this beautiful, powerful woman and couldn't look away," she answered. "And then I dreamed about kissing her and holding her hand and other stuff. And then it happened again, with more beautiful, cute, alluring women."
Sirius was quiet again for a while, and then it finally all spilled out. "So there was this guy…"
Apparently, Sirius had been fooling around with another fifth year boy for the past few weeks. Nothing seriously romantic, just sexual exploration and thrill-filled sneaking around and playful kisses and touching. Sirius had been curious about boys for a while and then Riley had showed up at his birthday and kept looking at him and Fae had revealed she thought about girls and Sirius just really wanted to find out. So he did.
Fae nearly spat out her coffee. "Riley? Riley Williams? Hufflepuff Riley Williams?"
"...yes?"
"That's why you came over so often the past few weeks! I thought you were spying on Regulus!"
"Um. Well?"
Riley Williams was thin and freckled and shy, but became this tall, gorgeous thing when he stood up straight and squared his shoulders, rare as that was. Soft-spoken, but sassy when he did speak. Beautiful curly blonde hair that was perfectly styled and you couldn't help but want to run your fingers through to muck up and grab. Fae had no clue he was gay, but decided it wasn't that surprising and he was a good match for Sirius. Riley was decent and kind, definitely not the type to kiss and tell. And, she had to admit, the idea of them getting it on was pretty hot.
Bellatrix saw. Sirius ended it immediately and Riley was understanding, but the damage had been done.
"They… hate it. All of it. Boys kissing boys. Boys wearing makeup. David Bowie and Freddie Mercury and Bruce Springsteen. Motorcycles and cars. Muggles. They don't understand! There's this entire wonderful world and all these amazing things and they hate it! They hate all of it and they hate everything I love and everything I stand for and it's not right!"
His cousin, the one and only mother of Draco Malfoy, was getting married and apparently, Sirius was of the age to start considering a 'smart marriage' since he turned 16. Sirius went from ranting about being outed by Bellatrix at a family dinner to ranting about every single argument he'd had in all his years. Usually with his mother, usually about all the things he discovered that made him happy and how that just wouldn't do in the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, according to Walburga. He ranted and raged and cried and yelled.
As requested, the server brought over the giant plates of greasy food, mid-rant. Sirius didn't even stop and Fae listened to it all, munching on her fries and casting a Muffliato around them, although proper and decent food industry workers like the guys here would never listen in and nobody else was in the diner at 3 in the morning. Sirius didn't touch his food until Fae started stealing some of his fries. Then he paused only to take massive bites of his burger, gasp in air, and keep going.
"She'd hurt me before. Little stinging jinxes, slaps on the face, shocks to my hand so I wouldn't touch the nice antiques. I didn't know! I didn't know that wasn't normal. I had no clue and then I met James and Mrs. Potter and Mr. Potter and I broke a vase and they just. They just told me it was okay! They never hit James and I didn't know!"
When you grow up that way, you just don't necessarily know better until you go out into the world and you see everybody else. Not that everybody else was always right or always wrong. But how would you know better if you didn't see what else there was? All the ways it could be, other than frequently waking up to constant arguing beneath your bedroom? She knew it. Flinching when the loud music came on in a dark, candle-lit kitchen and that's just how you just knew things were really, really bad. Dad pacing the house and tearing out his hair and mom crying and yelling and drinking and telling you she loved you, loved you so much, but nobody loved her and so why should she bother living if you didn't love her too?
"I hate her! She doesn't even care about me or any of the things that make me happy! All she cares about is having a perfect son to show off to the world and be this little toy soldier for her precious dark lord! She tried to sell me to him! She let them hold me down and try and-"
Fae almost wanted to cry too. She understood more than he could ever know and she was so envious and proud of him for being brave enough to talk about it. She probably never would. Instead, she ran. How do you talk about mothers who swore they loved you and told you that your body was unacceptable for society and jobs and for men to want to fuck and bestow value upon? Mothers who lived in pain and hated themselves so they told you they loved you and would dedicate their entire lives to you by making all your choices for you and forcing you to live the life she wished she could live? Mothers who strove to be the 'perfect mother' as society would perceive. Mothers who made you feel so guilty all the time because they loved you and you hated them.
"I hate her so much. I hate them all. They're all wrong. And I know it. But.." Sirius trailed off, emotions finally running dry. I hate them all and I know they're wrong and I know who I want to be, so why do they still affect me? Why can't I just break free and be who I am and be happy? When I've come so far and done things that I can be proud of?
Fae got up slowly and slid around to his side of the booth. She cupped his face, pressed a kiss to his cheeks and his forehead, and then pressed her forehead to his, meeting his eyes.
"You're right. They are wrong about you Sirius. You are perfect," she told him.
"But I-"
"Nope. Nothing. You are perfect as you are Sirius. Mad and lively and funny and true to who you are," she told him.
He sniffled, laughed, and smiled wobbly and scared. "And gay. I'm gay."
Ah, that's probably why Sirius came to her instead of James, not that it really mattered as long as he got it all out and was able to begin to heal.
Fae smiled back at him, eyes also watering. "Yeah. And I love you madly. Even when you steal my chocolate biscuits or hide random bits and bobs in my hair to see how long it takes me to find them. Even when you don't know when to stop making jokes or when you joke about shit that shouldn't be joked about. You can be obtuse and insensitive and loving and brilliant and insufferable and terrific and I'll always love you because that's how real families are. That's how this family is. That's how you and I are."
He inhaled deeply and nodded. Then panicked again. "What about Mrs. Potter and Mr. Potter? And James? Do you think they'll love me if they know I'm-"
Barking a laugh, she let him go to mess up his hair and then drag his head to rest on her shoulder, arm coming around him to hold him tight. "Please. Euphemia and Fleamont already have a quidditch maniac and a werewolf as kids. A gay rockstar is just another space to fill in on their bingo board. And James? Not going to lie, he'll probably be awkward at first, but you're his best friend and his brother. I give him a day before he goes off on an idiotic and completely misinformed, but well-intentioned, supportive spree of trying to set you up with the nearest hot guy."
Sirius laughed earnestly at that. "Ha, you're probably right," he said, reaching for his french fries and finally starting to eat in earnest. Good. He needed to regain his strength.
"Of course I am," Fae said. She kicked her legs up beneath the table to rest them on the opposite booth as she slumped back and let Sirius rest his whole body on her. They exhaled into the comfy, stained, diner cushions. Tears were dried, stomachs stuffed with greasy food, intense feelings dissipating, regaining equilibrium together. Fae ran her fingers through his hair and they played with their remaining fries, stealing from each other's plates and trying to stop the other until all that was left was a big mess of ketchup and shredded potato.
Then Fae said, "It's okay to hate them."
She took a deep breath and said it, for him and for her.
"You are not fucked up for hating them. You are not a fucked up person for feeling the way you do. They are connected to you by blood and you can't change that. You can't erase 23 years of memories with them either, good, bad, happy, sad. They will always exist in you and you are not wrong in the slightest to hate them and hate that they still have some control of you. It's okay to hate them, but let your love for you be stronger than that. That control and hate may always be there, but I can tell you that it does fade with time. Whether it will fade completely one day, I don't know. But let love guide you the most and your life will be for the better, I promise. There will be bad days, but things get better."
"I love you, Fae," Sirius said three minutes later, leaning back so he could reach up and press a loving kiss to her cheek.
Fae smiled back and kissed his forehead. He kissed her forehead. She kissed his cheek. He kissed her nose. She kissed his eyelashes. He kissed her fingers. She went right between his eyes. The war of cute pecks and nuzzles carried on until they were giggling and hugging tightly again. "I love you too, Sirius. Now let's go home."
Feeling free and more like himself, Sirius whined incessantly about the pain in his leg until Fae offered to give him a piggy-back ride home. Sometimes she sprinted or spun around too close to light poles just to scare the shit out of him and make him laugh. Mostly, she walked. And grilled him on the dangers of apparating blindly, especially underage and without practicing, but also making him promise to teach her how.
James was waiting on the couch, watching movies on mute when they got home. Fae gave her brother a big hug and they all collapsed on the couch, not bothering to extend it just for the excuse of flopping all over each other like a puppy pile. She pretended to fall asleep very quickly, because she knew Sirius needed desperately to talk to James and James needed desperately to talk to Sirius because they were best friends and needed each other. Fae had meant to listen in, but ended up actually falling asleep to their whispered voices and warm bodies.
Christmas Eve and Christmas were full of joy and shenanigans and crying, because Sirius couldn't believe how much he'd gotten for Christmas from his new family and when he'd referred to them as such, all teary-eyed, he'd gone and made them all emotional and teary-eyed too. Darling idiot.
On Boxing Day, Sirius came out to Euphemia, Fleamont, and James. Fae came out too. She told them that she was in love with both Dorcas Meadows and Marlene McKinnon and they had all made an unbreakable vow to marry each other one day, as soon as they finished Hogwarts. And then she told them she was definitely joking, but just had to upstage Sirius. She was just demisexual, and no, she wasn't dating anybody currently. Her life was busy enough, thank you very much.
Euphemia and Fleamont took the news with ease, grace, and the usual afternoon tea, not even batting an eyelash. There was just a transfer of galleons from Fleamont to a smug Euphemia who had called it. Hearing a mother say 'a mother just knows' still made Fae flinch inside, but she reminded herself to relax because it was Euphemia, the closest thing to a true mother she'd ever had. Not all mothers who called themselves mothers did so as if granting themselves a crown and a title and an ability to do whatever they wished with their children. Some mothers loved their children and also loved and respected them as people who were not just their children, but much more.
James, as predicted, was so awkward at first until Fae pointed out that just because Sirius was gay, that it didn't mean he didn't have standards. And James was nowhere close to those standards. Only the hottest, most amazing of guys would do for their beautiful brother. James was offended for all of two seconds because he was definitely the hottest and most amazing guy at Hogwarts. But then again, Jackson Hamilton on the quidditch team was pretty good looking and James was pretty sure he was gay so maybe Sirius should go for it. Then Fae had to tell James that just because two people maybe had the same sexuality, did not mean they were destined to be all over each other. Sirius agreed. And Sirius agreed that Jackson Hamilton was quite fit and if James could casually have them run drills together when they got back to Hogwarts, he'd be a real mate.
"Oh, I didn't know it was a secret," Peter said the next day when he came over to hang out.
"You knew?" Sirius asked, completely shocked and slightly irritated that he couldn't bewilder the everloving fuck out of his friend.
Peter shrugged. "Yeah. So did Remus. You weren't exactly subtle, sneaking off with that bloke from Hufflepuff and coming back with hickeys, you know?"
"Oh."
Fae laughed her ass off. She hadn't noticed the hickeys, but she'd certainly noticed Sirius was gay. Looks like her brother was the only one who didn't know, but that wasn't too surprising. Peter was extremely observant and Remus was Remus.
Not willing to completely lose his thunder, Sirius said, "Well did you know that Fae is demisexual and likes Lily Evans?"
"Lily? My Lily? Fae!"
Fae threw a pillow at the devious black-haired teen. "You absolute fucking traitor!"
Talking James down took far more time and effort than Fae wanted to use up for the day. James had been betrayed and heartbroken, crushed that his baby sister had feelings for the love of his life. Fae insisted that it was just a small attraction, not true love, and she was perfectly happy to forget it and continue helping James get the girl, because honestly, she had been a better wingman in the last term than all of his so-called best friends had been combined in the past five years. Realizing she had a good point, he gave her a tight hug and thanked her for being a true bro. Then he started asking her about Romilly. And Marley. And Marjorie. And every single other girl he had seen Fae talk to, sit next to, or breathe at in the past four months. She ignored him and left for a nice long run, shoulder-checking Sirius so hard on the way out that he fell over, laughing.
When she came back, the boys were locked up in James' room, all whispery and hush hush. Fae left them to it and wrote to Remus, asking how his Christmas was and how long he'd known about Sirius. And informing him that Sirius was essentially now a Potter, in all but name and blood, although if he kept up with his big mouth, there'd be plenty of his blood in the Potter household. She also smiled and wrote to Romilly, sending on some of the flowers and candies she'd received in a mysterious gift basket a day ago. Chocolate covered espresso beans in one bag, chocolate covered peanuts in another bag, and violets mixed with edelweiss and pink roses. Loyalty and devotion, courage, grace and happiness. Regulus was okay, handling the situation from his end and was happy that they were safe.
Sirius and James were continuously whispery and strangely avoidant over the next few days, not that Fae noticed too much between enjoying the woods and catching up in her journals. They still had plenty of time to hang around her and bother her when they felt the need for shenanigans. There were snowball fights and attempts at forcing her on a broom to play quidditch with them and people watching and pranking at the cafe, drinking hot cocoa.
Having Sirius officially become part of the family was as easy as breathing. He'd always held himself in their house as if he lived there, moving with ease, knowing where everything was stored, fussing over the chores and cleanliness almost as much as Euphemia did, hilariously enough. His room was across from James', already messy and filled with stuff within two days of him being there. He had a preferred spot on the couch and a spot at the dinner table and just laid himself across James and Fae when they shared the armchair in Fleamont's workshop. Of course, only for a minute or two, before he'd get bored and then settle himself glued to Fleamont's side at the workbench, incessantly curious about what the man was working on. Fleamont was thrilled to have a proper assistant.
Sirius fit right in. He wore nice waistcoats and dress shoes as often and proudly as he wore ripped jeans and graphic t-shirts. Euphemia was thrilled - both Fae and James would wear nicer clothes when asked, but only when asked, and usually stuck to their fitness apparel and band t-shirts. Sirius knew manners and social niceties and 'proper culture' and he seemed to like it well enough. Fae just loved that he was effortlessly both. And she loved that he knew how to dance. When Fleamont swept Euphemia around the kitchen, Fae would usually wait her turn or sway from her spot on the counters, or playfully and clumsily bop around with James. With Sirius, he was happy to waltz her and spin her and dramatically, gorgeously whirl around the house. And he was happy to jump on the coffee table and air guitar and head bang.
Fae finally found out what the secret was a few days later. She'd been painting her nails in the living room and Sirius had thrown himself onto the couch next to her with James. James watched the quidditch match while Sirius was very interested in Fae painting her nails until she offered to paint his. She painted his nails black and with steady, slow hands, she added red and gold flowers to his thumb nails.
At some point, they got to talking about make-up too and Fae ended up giving Sirius a demonstration on how to apply eyeshadow and eyeliner, with Euphemia's help of course. Actually, Euphemia did all the applying and explaining for both of them. Bright reds and oranges and yellows like fire and then sharp black like coal, framing Sirius' gorgeous grey eyes and making them pop and sizzle and glow, while Fae got earthy browns and greys and reds that made the depths of her eyes brighter and more intense. They both looked hot as fuck and Sirius looked suspiciously emotional again.
"Don't you dare cry! Not before we get the sticking charms on!" she commanded. And really, as sweaty as she usually got from exercising, not to mention how often she idly touched her face or rubbed her eyes, Fae would never have, and hadn't, bothered with make-up until she had magic sticking charms. A must-learn for every witch. And wizard who also enjoyed make-up. Honestly, Sirius looked unfairly beautiful and masculine with make-up.
"Sticking charms?" Sirius asked.
"Yeah, thank Merlin. Else I'd have to reapply lip gloss every time I took a drink. You know, there's even variations with the staying charm that taste like cherry or strawberry or what-not, already built into the higher-end brand lipsticks. Like that red one I just got for Christmas! You don't even know how excited I am to use it. I've heard that shit lasts for days if you don't remember to clean it off properly. Which is key! Always clean your make-up off every night, it's not good for your skin if you leave it- hey, are you even listening to me?"
"James! That's it!"
And that's how Sirius, her mad, brilliant, beautiful new brother, destroyed her new lipstick, reverse engineered the charms, and figured out how to keep a mandrake leaf in his mouth for a month without annoyingly constant reapplication or nasty taste.
That is also how Fae 'found out' they were aiming to become animagus, and were very close to achieving it. It was stupendous - she already knew nothing was going to go wrong and she was so excited to have them with her and Remus, to be able to get out of the shack and into the forest. She simply could not wait. But, well, she could wait, and would.
"Do we have to tell Remus?"
"Yes."
"What if he says no?"
"Then I guess you become animagus, but respect his request and do not join us for the full moon," Fae said, much as she was unhappy with that answer.
"But that defeats the whole purpose!" James whined.
She sighed. "Guys. Do not fight me on this. I may be okay with it, but I will not be okay with you doing this behind his back. We don't know how Remus will take this, but I can guarantee you will not be off to a good start by doing the whole 'plans-about-you-without-you-knowing' thing again. Because it went so well last year." Fae reminded them.
They were quiet for a second, thoughtful and slightly guilty. Then they nodded. "So how do we tell him?"
"Yeah Fae, you know him best," James said.
Fae shrugged and fought down a blush. "I don't know if I know him best. I just know that it's probably better to tell him a few weeks out from the moon, definitely not around any tests, make sure he's not cold or hungry so have some chocolate nearby. Don't interrupt him or drag him away from his studies. After a run is good, when he's worn out and satisfied, but not immediately after, give him a second to cool down," she answered thoughtfully.
"So like… Saturday, January 31st would be good. Right between moons, only just back at school so no major exams, I'll go running with him and wear him down. Then after, we'll do our usual picnic. In your guys' room, he's most at ease when nobody is around. Play some Fleetwood Mac, I got him The White Album for Christmas. We'll get some of those dark chocolate brownies and Romilly can ask the house elves for some margherita pizzas with fresh basil and some of that spicy olive oil he likes so much. And tea. Gotta have tea. He's been drinking a lot of Earl Grey lately so we'll get some of that. Maybe from that shop in Hogsmeade, the one with the bookmarks and tree saplings in the window? He liked that a lot last time we were there."
James and Sirius gave her very smug looks and Fae flipped them off. "What? Do you want to convince him or not?"
"No, no, you're right. We want Remus as happy as possible."
"I hope both of you become animagus and transform into kittens. Or squirrels, so I could hunt you."
Because it was them, they couldn't return to Hogwarts for the New Year without some sort of theatrics. They'd watched the Loony Dook on tv a few days before and agreed that it was a perfect way to start the New Year. Fae had never heard it called a Loony Dook before, in her old life, it had been the Polar Plunge. Essentially, it was going for a quick, crazy dip in the nearest river or lake, in the middle of freezing winter. Most people in the UK aimed for Christmas, but Scotland had the Loony Dook where you acted like a loony, paraded down to the water, and went for it to start off the New Year. And so, on the first night back, James, Sirius, and Fae had dramatically announced their plans for a Hogwarts Loony Dook. Most called them crazy and in the end, it was just the three of them laughing wickedly and screaming as they ran down the halls in their best, finest dress and robes the next morning and into the lake.
Cowards - plenty of people showed up to watch, but only James, Sirius, and Fae actually got in. It was freezing and insane and completely fun and unforgettable. She couldn't wait to see Peter's pictures. Lily was there, laughing and shaking her head as James bundled himself in six towels and fell over like a useless caterpillar. Remus was rolling his eyes and laughing as Sirius' heating charm caused his hair to become an extra wavy afro, puffing out all over his head.
Faithful, darling, wonderful Romilly and Regulus were waiting for her, arms open with towels, blankets, dry clothes, proper heating charms, and warm apple cider. Eyes rolling, but smiling. Regulus looked okay - better than okay. He looked happy to see them, healthy and cheerful. Romilly looked downright adorable wearing the hoodie that Fae had let her borrow one time and had since ended up mysteriously in her possession every few days ever since. Fae wasn't that mad, she stole Romilly's anti-frizz hair cream all the time. And besides, Romilly looked adorable in James' hoodie, especially when she gave herself sweater paws which was pretty much always. She thought about changing the lion graphic into a wolf and getting one for Regulus too.
James was less okay with it. "Oi, Rigby! Give me back my hoodie!" he yelled, voice muffled behind his scarf.
"It's not yours, it's Fae's!" Romilly yelled back.
"It literally has my number on the back!"
"You didn't want it, remember!" Fae added to the conversation.
"Well, now I do!"
The younger sibling rolled her eyes. "Well now it's Romilly's. She wears it better anyways."
"Oh, up yours sis!"
"Love you too!" she said, blowing him a kiss.
Then, turning back to her friends, she laughed lightly. "Wimp. I told him the water would be too cold for him." Fuck, the water had been almost too cold for her. That hoodie was pretty big and Romilly did say she didn't mind Fae touching her. Maybe she could just… get on up in there and share some body heat?
"Can't really blame him, this hoodie is damn comfy. But he can fight me, because it really is freezing out here. I'm so cold," Romilly muttered.
"You're always cold," Fae pointed out.
"Well maybe I wouldn't be if you remembered to close the goddamn windows. Not all of us are human heaters," the blonde snapped.
"Honestly, you two," Regulus said, casting the warming charms around them again, perfectly encompassing and not too hot or too weak.
"Thank you, Regulus!" the girls chimed. He sniffed, smiled, and took a long drink of his apple cider. He squinted at Sirius over the rim and the two boys made eye contact, before nodding and turning away. Fae smiled. It was good to be back.
They all ended up in Gryffindor, sitting by the fire and relaxing. Listening to music and enjoying some free time before classes started the next day. Going over how all of their holidays had been. Regulus didn't talk about his. Neither did Sirius. Everybody knew and knew not to ask, except Lily. Fae explained to her and then the red-haired girl pulled Sirius into the stairwell with a thoughtful look.
"Lily understands. She's muggleborn, you know. The only witch in her family. Her parents try, sort of. Her sister doesn't…. Lily understands. She's so kind, talking to Sirius," James said, completely lovelorn.
"And are you okay?" Fae asked, turning to Regulus.
The boy shrugged. Contemplated the fire. "Things are a little rough. Mother is… infuriated. Embarrassed. She's worried about me being like him."
"Just say the word. I'll get you out. You know I will. Euphemia and Fleamont would love to have you," Fae said.
"Well isn't that a tad greedy? They started with one, then got you, now have Sirius, and they want another one? No, they don't get to monopolize the fun people. You can come live with me and my obnoxious little brother and my parents. Dad's a muggle, Mom's a witch, and our family runs a wildlife rescue for animals, magical and not. We have four dogs. You love dogs," Romilly said.
Regulus stared at them both in absolute shock and then laughed, really hard. It was a gorgeous sound that had most people in the room staring at him. When he contained himself, his cheeks were pleasantly pink and stretched in a wide, sweet smile.
"Thank you. Both of you. But I'm okay. I'm safe here."
Regulus left a little while later, but not before he talked to Sirius. The two boys were so blatantly awkward about it, but Fae left them to it. They needed to talk to each other. Even if it wasn't what needed to be said, having more conversations would make it easy to eventually have the right one. It must've gone well, because after Regulus handed something to Sirius, the older boy launched himself at him and hugged him. Regulus struggled away, blushed madly, and ran off. So cute.
Sirius came bounding over, flopping down between Fae and Remus, not daring to go near Romilly on Fae's other side. Remus just snuffled and scooched over, returning to his book. An arm came around her and Fae snuggled to her new brother's side happily.
"What was that all about?" she asked, dying to know.
Sirius held out his hand, palm up. In it was a box, which on closer inspection, was detailed like a trunk. It was a trunk, a shrunken one. "He brought me my stuff. My favorite records and notebooks and hair products and such."
Fae grinned. "He's such a sweetie. That dork always acts so tough and uncaring, but he's a big old softy."
"Yeah. He is. Always was that way, an ickle crybaby growing up," Sirius said fondly. Then he inhaled sharply and turned to Fae and Romilly with a suddenly determined look, nearly terrifying them with the abrupt change in mood.
"You were right. He's my brother and I've...forgotten that. Let him drift away until we've practically become strangers. He's kind, and sincere, and so young."
"And adorkable, like we said."
"Yeah, where are you going with this, Black?" Romilly questioned, an eyebrow arched above her round glasses lens. Although the glasses helped her from having trouble seeing and from squinting and having resting bitch face constantly, she still managed to glare at Sirius nearly always. Even with Bambi eyes. It was impressive.
He sighed dramatically. "I can't protect him. He won't let me. But he will let you. He trusts both of you," Sirius said. "I left him alone in a den of monsters. My kind little brother." And he sounded truly, deeply remorseful. Regretful.
"Please, look after him. Be there for him. Help him when you can," he begged.
Romilly rolled her eyes and shot a Langlock hex at him. "You don't have to ask, dumbass."
"It's like Romilly said," Fae added. "We look after ours."
Classes resumed, everybody settled back in right where they left off. It was good timing, all things considered. Classes started on the 5th which gave Fae and Remus a week before the pre-moon jitters hit them. The moon was on the 15th and Remus was almost actually happy about it. He was ready for it. She was so glad that break had fallen between the moons. He didn't talk about how he handled moons at his parent's house, but he never appeared from them in good shape, physically or mentally. They woke up on the 16th, sharing a bed in the infirmary as always. Fae's consciousness was up to nearly an hour and a half. Remus was putting on muscle, at least in his legs, and didn't look nearly so exhausted in the days following.
James, Sirius, and Peter also took the opportunity to begin the official process with the mandrake leaf. Nobody noticed a thing. They did an amazing job, hiding the leaves and keeping the sticking charms up. Fae had been practicing with them since coming back to school - they'd stick the leaves in at random and challenge her to call them out on it if she noticed. By the weekend, she'd had no clue. The only real thing was that they talked a bit less, and Sirius didn't sing quite so loudly. Ironically, it made James more thoughtful about his words which made Lily a little more lenient with him.
A few short weeks later, the Marauders and Fae enacted their plan to lure Remus into a blissful morning and after they had settled down, they told him everything from the very beginning. They'd come out and said it straight out initially, so as not to give him anxiety in the build up as they explained. But they did tell him every detail. About how they'd found out about him in 2nd year and had always wanted to help him, how they came up with the animagus idea in 3rd year, how they'd been researching ever since, the breakthrough in 4th year, all the preparation they'd been doing in the last few months, how Fae had found out and inadvertently helped them figure out the last clue.
How even though having Fae had helped both of them have safer transformations, Fae wasn't able to be conscious all night. But as animagus, they were, and could allow them out into the woods to roam freely and release all the energy into nature instead of onto themselves. They could watch them, be with them, guide them, keep them in safe zones, not dissimilar to how Moody and Ms. Artemisia put up barriers in Fae's woods. Although, they could certainly do that too, make it doubly safe.
When they were done, Remus asked them to leave the room. Give him a moment to think. Except Fae. He asked her to stay. The three boys left, giving her hopeful looks. Sirius mouthed at her 'don't fuck up' and she flipped him the bird. Once they were gone, she launched herself across the room and onto Remus' bed with him, sitting cross legged in front of him, knees touching and heads leaned in close.
"So, what do you think of all this?" he asked.
She grinned and held her hands out palms up, waiting for his. "I think it's brilliant."
"Brilliant," he parroted dryly, settling his hands above hers. A game of slaps commenced.
"I think they're brilliant," she repeated. "Remus, they know what they're doing. They've been studying for years and taking every precaution. Nothing will go wrong with the potion."
He snorted. "It's not the potion I'm worried about and you know it."
Well. She had hoped. But this was Remus, first-rate worrier and overthinker.
"It's….risky, isn't it?" he eventually said.
"Oh for sure," Fae agreed cheerfully. "We could tear them to shreds, eat them alive. I think Peter will be a rabbit and I'm very good at hunting rabbits. Nobody would ever know what happened to them."
"That's not funny."
Yes, but it was clearly the worst-case scenario playing behind his eyes on repeat. Saying it out loud was just so she could point out to him how ridiculous and unlikely it was. "Remus, werewolves don't hunt animals. They don't even hunt magical animals. I've done the research on this. You've read my research on this," she reminded him.
He nodded at that and hummed thoughtfully. He scored a hit on her and their hands flipped over, his palm down above hers. His hands were so big, long-fingered and bony and scarred. Warm. Familiar. Comfortable. His reflexes were getting faster.
"But what if we sense their human nature somehow? There's no research on how werewolves interact with animagus," he eventually said.
"Then they change and approach us only when I have awareness and give them a signal. If you react badly, I'll hold you back so they can get out. Easy."
He huffed a laugh and she knew he'd just about been won over. "You always have a solution. Everything is so simple for you," he said, both fond and frustrated.
Fae shrugged and flicked his nose in a sneak attack. "Everything is, when you break it down. Never underestimate the power of simple solutions," she teased, and then launched herself onto his chest, pinning him to the bed. "And just think - our pack would grow. I could be a true alpha."
Remus leaned back easily, folded his arms behind his head, and contemplated Fae with arched eyebrows. "A true alpha? Who says you're the alpha?"
Fae sat on his chest and inclined her head at their position. Smirked.
"Right," he coughed. "I suppose it would be pretty cool. And that old shack looks like it's a gust away from collapsing."
Grinning, she fell forward, folding her arms over his sternum and resting her head on them, allowing their bodies to align and legs to tangle comfortably. "Right! And I could fix it up if we didn't wreck it regularly. We could have a bath and a decent bed for when we wake up. A kitchen, with a stove, and a kettle for tea."
"Alright then, let's give it a go," he said, after a deep sigh and a thoughtful smile.
"I knew you'd see it our way."
To keep their friends hanging in suspense, the two werewolves spent a while more talking, thinking of renovations they could make to the Shrieking Shack. Fae, daydreaming of the forest and running free as an invincible werewolf. Remus, significantly more concerned about them encountering a dangerous creature. Fae, assuring him she went over safe zones with Hagrid and would drill them into James, Sirius, and Peters' heads until they knew nothing else.
It was going to be fantastic.
A/N: Happy Friday everybody!
Shout out to everyone who has ever suffered abuse from a loved one, be it verbal or physical or emotional. You are all warriors and survivors. Reach out to people you feel safe with, do your best to talk it out whether that's with a friend or a therapist, and love yourself. Love yourself and surround yourself with people who truly love you and then let them love you. For the sheer fact that you're alive, you deserve some lovin'. Of course, it's a lot easier said than done, so keep fighting.
On a lighter, but still important, note... Has anyone ever done a loony dook/polar plunge/insanely cold dip? I haven't, but I'm kinda into it.
AND LASTLY - for anyone who visited my profile after reading this story, I am so sorry. I joined more than a decade ago and then had minimal activity since I never really posted anything I wrote until now. As such, I forgot that profiles were a thing until earlier this week. So yeah, I've updated my profile a bit, but not by much. I left all my preteen hilarity for the memories and laughs.