Fae had a feeling that even without the convenience of having the full moon fall on Christmas, Remus wouldn't have gone to his parents' house very much, if it all. As it was, he was only dropping in for a few hours on Christmas Eve.
"You're sure you don't want me to go with you?" Fae asked for probably the sixth or seventh time, damn being annoying or overbearing. She'd almost rather he didn't go at all and was certain he was feeling the same way - torn between avoiding the shitshow and trying to be a good kid.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Yes. I'm sure," he said.
"For sure, for sure? Because-"
He cut her off with a fond smile. "Because it's going to be ugly and I don't want to put you through that, Fae. Right before the full moon, you know how my temper is and I didn't exactly leave on a good note last I saw them."
She huffed and flicked him. "Exactly why I should go! You shouldn't have to put yourself through it alone! And maybe if I was there-"
What she wanted to say was that people like Hope didn't argue in front of company, or like anybody outside of family to even have a notion that their family was anything but happy and perfect and picturesque. As long as Fae could swallow her irritation and put on the polite face, Hope likely wouldn't get too mad. Which wouldn't be too hard - Fae had a short temper today too, but it was easy to forget about her bad moods when she could focus on Remus'. Still, he wasn't going for it.
"It would be even worse because you and my mother have vastly different perspectives on life and you would be all too happy to argue with each other?"
"Well when you put it that way," Fae said, pouting a bit. She didn't want to make it worse and she was sure she could behave as long as Hope didn't insult Remus. Which was likely to happen, she supposed. Still. "I just wish I could help make this easier for you."
He pulled her into his side easily and nuzzled the top of her head. "You already are. And you can always be ready for the fallout when I get back. You always know how to make me feel better."
"Consider it done," she said, grinning up at him. "I just hope there isn't any fallout to handle."
"Yeah, me too. I'll be back in a few hours."
"I'll be here," Fae answered as he apparated away. Then she turned and headed back inside, gears turning as she began to prepare for Remus' return. She had a feeling that ugly was a vast understatement. And unfortunately, she was correct.
Remus reappeared with a crack and an anguished shout four hours later, sent his fist nearly halfway through a tree, and then collapsed down on the porch swing beside Fae. His entire body was tense, mouth in a firm straight line, the smell of spicy vanilla chai radiating from him, eyes swirling with rage. She sighed deeply and took his hand, picking out the splinters and healing the blood. Then she laced their fingers together, slipped under his arm, and curled up against his side.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really," he said.
She nodded and they swung for a bit as he breathed deeply and tried to get his rage and magic under control. The tree he'd punched was literally dying before their eyes, turning black from the inside of his impact and wilting away. It was morbid and impressive. It was a shame that he only let himself be this powerful when he was too mad to think about holding himself back. Then with a heave, she hooked his arm over her shoulder firmly and yanked them both onto their feet.
"Come on then, I've got just the thing," she said, smiling.
He followed her wordlessly into her car and she drove them down the drive, fifteen minutes into town, and parked across the street from the junkyard. They got out of the car, looked around, and hopped the fence. Remus began to look curious as she dragged him deep into the yard excitedly. It was always fun breaking into places. And even more fun to break things.
When Fae got to a junked up, piece of scrap metal which was once a car, she stopped. Conjured a sledge hammer and safety goggles and gloves. With a devilish grin, she put the goggles on Remus as he slipped on the gloves. Then she handed him the sledge hammer.
"Have at it, darling."
He hefted the hammer up, gripped it, levied it up and down a few times, approached the car, and swung. "They don't want me to join the war."
The roof of the car dented inwards a good seven inches. Fae whistled.
"They don't want me learning to duel or defend myself." Another hit, this time swinging from the side to cave in a door.
"They want me to quit strengthening my power as a werewolf, because they think the Order will just use me like some tool," he hollered, slamming the hammer down on the hood three times in succession. Fuck, he was so hot like this, all pissed off and strong and rough.
He went on like that for a while, shouting out all of his frustrations and absolutely wrecking the scrap car. It was magnificent and Fae awarded Hufflepuff 200 points as his rage was expressed and then began to subside when the car was no longer remotely recognizable as a car. Chest heaving with exertion, he sighed, dropped the hammer, turned, and settled down beside Fae. This was the harder part. Without anger, the sadness and ickiness sets in. Remus inhaled sharply and tilted over, leaning himself onto her shoulder helplessly. Fae wrapped her arm around him, curled her wrist up to run her fingers through his sweaty hair.
"I told them it didn't matter what they wanted. Not anymore. I'm my own person and this is what I've decided to do," he said quietly, defeated.
She huffed a small laugh. "I'm sure they loved that."
He laughed a little too. "Almost as much as they loved me telling them I'm moving out after I graduate."
That made her startle a bit. "You're moving out?" she asked, glancing down at him.
He squirmed and avoided her gaze, blushing a tad. "Oh, ah.. I probably should've asked first, but I figured your parents wouldn't mind-"
She cut him off excitedly. Wow, she never dreamed this would happen. Wow. "Of course not! You're always welcome."
He relaxed and nodded. "Just for a bit after I graduate, til I can get a job and afford a place of my own."
She scoffed. That's what he thought. Jokes on him, he wasn't going anywhere unless she was going with him. Fuck, living together was going to be awesome. Even if that's kind of how it had been off and on for the past year. Officially living together sounded lovely. "Don't worry about it. As long as I'm breathing, wherever I am, you have a home," she promised him.
He hummed happily at that and she was content with the fact that his mood was making a proper comeback. She dropped a kiss on his head, and then attempted to heave herself up. "Now, my turn. I want a whack at that thing, although there's not much left. Damn Remus, nice work."
Remus wound his arms tighter around her, making her laugh as he kept her forced down beside him so he could affectionately nuzzle her jaw. "Thank you, Fae."
Fae escaped his grasp and then took a few hefty swings herself. He wasn't the only one frustrated with his parents and blazing with energy. When she was satisfied, Remus got up, ready to head home.
"Ah, we're not done yet!" she told him.
"How do you mean?"
Of course, it was the day before the full moon so they had to go running, leaping and laughing for hours in the woods, running at full speed recklessly in the large drifts of snow. She was aiming to run down their energy as fast as possible to get home for the Christmas Eve festivities, and for the last bit she had planned to ensure Remus was properly, fully, 100% cheered up.
They were sweaty and freezing when they made it back to the Potters' which was perfect, because as she'd requested of James, the bath was all set up for Remus, accompanied with tea, chocolate, and the cassette player already ready with a new audio tape of a book he'd been interested in lately.
"You're the most brilliant thing in all creation."
The sheer reverence and happiness in his voice made her insides squirm giddily. "I know. Don't stay in too long, dinner is in an hour."
Dinner was wonderful. Remus was practically glowing when he emerged from the bathroom and was all too happy to help Euphemia and Fae in the kitchen, picking up the slack for Fae especially as she and Sirius were sidetracked by the Christmas music on the wireless and chose to whirl around in shoddy parodies of waltzes instead.
She and James did their best to show they'd grown up and become mature by not eating with their fingers or getting into a food fight, but it was them, so of course they failed miserably. That being said, there was an insane amount of food and Fae was so touched that Euphemia clearly went all out to make sure the two werewolves would be properly fed for the moon, in addition to two other hungry teenage boys. A marvel, that woman. And she had dessert prepared too. Dessert and more carols and movies and games.
They all ended up in the living room after dinner, playing cards and singing and dancing and roaring with laughter over the stories James and Sirius had to tell from the previous term. When it began to get late, they all settled down on the couch, only enlarging it just enough so they could all fit, sides pressed warm against each other. They watched movies for a while and when the parents went to bed, the kids pulled out the couch bed and stayed up as late as they could, just like when they were younger, eating snacks and chatting about random shit and enjoying the strange late night shows.
In the morning, she and Remus woke nearly at exactly the same time, curled on their sides facing each other, internal clocks and werewolf instincts attuned to the moon dipping and the sun rising.
"Merry Christmas, Fae," he whispered to her, smiling beautifully.
"Merry Christmas," she whispered back, thinking that having him here was the absolute best gift she could've ever asked for.
They slipped out the back door, shaking with silent laughter and excitement. Their morning run, while full of energy, quickly became a snowball fight meshed with tag as they chased each other around, relentlessly and wildly trying to shove snow down each other's jackets. They meant to be back before the others woke, but they got lost in having so much fun. It was James and Sirius hollering in unison combined with the bell at the back door which finally brought them back home.
The laughs and smiles just kept coming, through a huge and delicious breakfast, through presents from James that jumped out of boxes at Euphemia, through Remus and Fae getting each other hilariously shaped mugs filled with his favorite tea and her favorite coffee grounds respectively. Through Sirius getting teary-eyed at the cute drawings and handmade Christmas ornaments he received from Clyde and Theresa, who had moved in with their mother and grandparents since summer. Through James jumping around the room in excitement at the photo he received from Lily with her blowing a kiss, accompanied by matching charmed bracelets that allowed the other to know whenever one was nearby or thinking of them.
And then Euphemia and Fleamont addressed Fae and Remus to give them their gifts.
"We came across something rather interesting a little while back, and immediately knew it would be perfect for the two of you."
"For both of us? What is it?" Fae asked curiously, sharing a glance with Remus. He looked back and shrugged, also having no clue.
Euphemia jumped a little, giddy and excited, before rushing off to the other room while Fleamont began to explain. "You have both come leaps and bounds, and Euphemia and I couldn't be more proud of what you've accomplished."
"Dad…" Fae said bashfully at the same time Remus let out a sweet, "Mr. Potter…"
"And we know how interested you two are in traveling and how much you both like to push your limits."
Oh, now she liked where this was going. Fae sat forward, grinning. "So..?"
"So James and I timed you both in several instances over the past few months, applied for you, and sent in the times."
Sent in times?
Euphemia returned and stole his thunder, unable to resist. She whipped out two sets of folders, packets, and brochures from behind her back. "You've both qualified for the Athens Marathon next year in June. We're all going as a family on a week-long vacation and you two are going to be some of the youngest ever to finish the Athens Marathon!"
Fae completely lost her shit, jumping up and then bouncing up and down on the couch, screaming, shaking a stunned Remus like a rag doll, running to hug and kiss her parents, running victory laps around the tree, screaming and jumping some more, grabbing the race information and flinging herself onto the still stock-still-stunned Remus so they could read it all, memorize it in moments.
It had always been a goal of hers to run a marathon, in this life and the last. She knew she was capable of it, although she hadn't truly done some good, timed distance running in a while, Hogwarts schedule really only allowing for multiple shorter runs a day. Only when she'd landed on him rather roughly did Remus come back to life, eyes getting teary and a gorgeous, breathless, elated smile stretching his face wide.
"I don't know what to say," Remus said, voice cracking hilariously.
"Thank you would do fine, I suspect," Fleamont said, chuckling.
"Thank you so much. Really. You don't know what this means," he said, undeniably choked up. "I've always wanted to go to Greece."
"You've always wanted to go everywhere, but Greece is a good start. Remus we're going to Greece! We're running a marathon!"
Fae ran laps around the house and was so excited and so energized that after she read through all the paperwork six times, she wanted to immediately go run a marathon, but was torn because it was Christmas and she wanted to stay close to the best family in the world. So she and Remus ran more laps around the house, up and down the drive, back and forth along the treeline and the backyard. Snowball fights with James and Sirius helped burn off the energy too. Now that was an interesting match - Remus and Fae vs. James and Sirius, both teams moving like cunning, synchronized units operating at the highest levels of skill, efficiency, and ludicrousy.
Christmas dinner was even more amazing and delicious than the night before which seemed impossible, but that was Euphemia. This was probably the hardest time Fae ever had to leave for transformation before, wishing she could stay with her family all day. But night came and all was still perfect and wonderful, because she had Remus at her side. And of course, her brothers joined them in animagus form for a thrilling night of Hide and Hunt.
They spent all day recovering on the couch, wrapped in blankets, sipping warm drinks, reading books, writing their fellow werewolves, watching movies, and being just completely blissful. Fleamont in his arm chair, Sirius as Padfoot rolling around on the floor with James, Euphemia reading the paper in her chair beside Fleamont's, casually flicking her wand to float the fragile decorations away from her roughhousing boys when they got too close. Fae wanted a pensieve. Wanted to immortalize this moment, this purity, this happiness, forever.
Two days later, Fae received a gift in the mail. Regulus' yearly anonymous gift basket had already arrived and Romilly had passed on her gifts before break, so Fae was pretty curious. The box contained a tin of homemade chocolate cookies and a bag of homemade hot chocolate mix that smelled heavenly. It came with a smaller wrapped box and two letters, one from Eileen Snape and one from Severus Snape.
It was a small belated Christmas gift and a thank you for being a good friend to her son. For buying him all new clothes and books and hair potions and for sending him home happier than she'd seen him in a long time. Fae smiled brilliantly at that, happy that things were going well for him. No one was more surprised than she was to enjoy his company and genuinely have fun talking with him. He was a blatantly bitchy and snarky asshole and she appreciated it. And apparently, he appreciated her wild, mischievous, uncouth behaviour. They had a good thing.
The letter from Severus was just two lines. 'Thank you and I still hate you.' Inside the smaller box was a dark red, lacy thong and matching bra. That, and some chocolate sauce. Fae cackled madly and then laughed even harder at the completely disgusted look on James' and Sirius' faces. Remus took one look at the lingerie, blushed brilliantly, slammed the lid of the small box closed, and set the whole thing on fire. Fae pouted at him.
"Hey! There was some perfectly good chocolate in there."
"What the hell is he doing, sending you lingerie?"
"It's an inside joke," she said, turning away to hide her blush because now she was thinking of wearing both of Severus' gifts for Remus. It was probably for the best that he'd burnt them.
Of course, not everything was easy and happy. She'd talked a lot with James, Sirius, and Remus. It was a topic that had been thought about, but not really talked about all term. It was time to address the elephant in the room and when they came to a conclusion, Fae wrote Moody. The Auror appeared two days after New Years, as agreed. The four teens, Moody, Euphemia, and Fleamont all settled down in the living room. Fleamont and Euphemia looked confused, Moody looked expectant, and the four teenagers were uncharacteristically firm and grave.
James was their elected spokesperson, their leader in this instance.
"After we graduate, we've all decided to join the Order of the Phoenix to help fight Voldemort."
Euphemia sighed deeply and buried her face in her hands. Moody just nodded. Fleamont looked sad, and smoothed his wife's hair, comforting her. James continued.
"Sirius and I are going for the Auror program and Remus and Fae can fight and help recruit werewolves."
Fae crossed her arms and held her chin high, challenging. She could, and would, do so much more than that. This war would be won, not just in this decade, but in the next few years tops.
Finally, Euphemia looked up and the argument commenced. They were too young. They weren't skilled enough. They had no place being in a war, had no idea what they were getting into. They had other options, bright futures ahead of them. They could be hurt. Tortured. Killed. What about Hope and Lyall? What about Lily? Peter?
And all four had answers for each, easily. They weren't backing down, and even before the arguments started, Fae knew that their parents knew that. It was practically a formality. In the end, Moody gave the final decision.
"Finish your education and give serious consideration to your futures. James, you've received numerous offers to join professional quidditch teams, and Sirius and Remus, the both of you are intelligent and would do well with a smart apprenticeship. And Fae…"
"Fae has another year yet," Remus said. Fae shot him a look. Sure, he was cute when he was protective, but right now it was just annoying and almost offensive. What, did he think a year would really change her mind or make her any less, or more, prepared? Git.
"Another year won't change my mind. I've been preparing for this since the day I realized what I was capable of - how many lives I could save, how many fates I could change," she said fiercely.
Fleamont gave her a sorrowful look with a small smile. "I did always say you were going to make history, darling girl, but I didn't want it to be like this."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"If by the time you graduate, you're sure this is the path you want to take, then the Order will be better for having you," Moody said. And that was that.
It was the final Loony Dook that the Marauders would get to have at Hogwarts and they were going out in style, Remus included.
The Marauders dressed as the members of Queen, Sirius as Freddie Mercury, Peter as Roger Taylor, James as Brian May, and Remus as John Deacon. Full costume. Instruments. And the small practice stage from the Theater classroom. They 'performed' on stage with the boombox actually playing music as it hovered behind them. The stage floated and glided down the halls of Hogwarts, out the courtyard, and down to the lake.
Fae was behind them, dressed to the nines like a King and slumped nonchalantly, haughtily, across her throne with four students, one for each house, carrying it. And behind them, nearly forty other students in various extreme costumes, Professor Kettleburn riding a Hippogriff painted like a cow, and Hagrid dressed rather marvelously as the abominable snowman.
Term commenced and it was astounding how normal it all seemed, even with the clock ticking down. This was their last term all together. Fae had never really hated being a year below, not until now. But she wanted to make the best of it. The Marauders certainly were - dedicating as much of their energy to unforgettable pranks as they were to preparing for NEWTS and Auror Training. Peter was completely frazzled with yearbook and hadn't really said much about post-Hogwarts life yet while Remus was getting progressively more stressed about finding a job, the poor darling.
Fae was run ragged, tending to all of them, happy as she was to help. Still, she found herself keeping up Hogsmeade visits with Severus, if only for the chance to relax and bitch about everything in sight. Unwind, with no judgements. Sure, they insulted each other constantly, but Fae and Severus could be as nasty as they wanted and the deal was that they didn't take it seriously. It was nice. And seeing Remus get all fired up about it was pretty cute too, to be completely honest. Severus had similar thoughts regarding James being confused and miffed about Fae hanging out with him, so they were even.
"That was sweet of her, your mother. She didn't have to send me anything," Fae told him.
"That's what I told her," he replied, rolling his eyes.
"I'm glad she did though, those cookies were fucking delicious."
"Mhm."
"Also, thanks for your little gift. 'Fraid I didn't get much of a chance to appreciate it before Remus set it on fire though," she said, laughing.
"Pity that. I'm sure had he realized what they were for, he would've had a much better response."
"Well, one can dream," she hummed idly, a dazed smile on her face.
There was a nice, calm silence between them for ten minutes as Fae dreamed of Remus licking chocolate off her. She was startled when Severus sat forward and addressed her sharply. "How did you know?"
"About?"
"About my home. My stepfather. You said… You said Sirius and I had that in common. Back then," he mumbled awkwardly.
Fae sighed deeply and leaned back in her chair, taking a deep, indulgent drink of her coffee. "It's easy to recognize the signs when you've experienced something similar."
"You?"
She shrugged. "Before I was adopted. I was never hit or anything, but you don't have to be hit to be fucked up inside for a long time. You just have to hear certain things enough times."
Severus mulled that over for a bit, took a drink of his own coffee, and said, "I hate him."
"It's okay to hate your family," Fae said, nodding and marveling at the deja vu.
"I want to kill him," Severus said intensely.
She gave him a cruel smile. "We can arrange that."
Severus told her way more than she ever expected him to admit to. And he told her every nasty detail, every cruel thing that happened to him and what he wanted to do in return. Things they both knew would make Lily cry if she heard. He started with his birth father who had abandoned his mother when she was pregnant. Life had been hard, but happy until Tobias Snape turned up when he was 5.
He told her that it wasn't anything at first, just yelling and throwing things. But at least they had a roof that didn't leak and three meals a day. Then it was throwing things at them. Then grabbing them. Reveling in the way they flinched back automatically. Hitting them. Hitting them with things. Apparently, his mother took the worst of it, wanting to protect him. Made him promise to never use magic against Tobias. Severus admitted how torn he was, how badly he wanted to hex the man, but wanted to make his mother happy and also didn't want to risk losing his escape - Hogwarts. He felt so guilty to be here while his mother suffered at home. Wondered if they got along better without him. Wondered if it was worse without him.
Two weeks later, Fae met up with Severus at their usual cafe, arms full of job applications, internship descriptions, domestic abuse pamphlets, resources for homeless or impoverished, and several plans to scare away Tobias Snape that didn't include magic, because who needed magic when you could remove fingernails with pliers? And Severus was graduating and perfectly capable and intelligent. He could easily support himself and his mother, if he wished. She knew he could and made sure he knew as much.
Severus stared at her in absolute embarrassment and horror, having apparently confessed to her only for the sake of talking about it and not having expected Fae to want anything to do with helping. Idiot. You'd think he knew by now that she looked after hers. And by now, Severus was one of hers. That, and she had zero tolerance for domestic violence and abuse. Severus deserved better. Eileen deserved better. It was one of her fiercest beliefs that you seek your happiness, despite risks. Don't ever stay with someone who makes you feel less than for fear of being alone or being homeless or poor or helpless. There was always help to be found, always another option. You just had to know where to look and had to have the courage to reach for it. Severus may not have had much courage, but he had rage and spite which was as good as.
So that was Severus taken care of. James was next. James, Sirius, and Lily were happy as larks, throwing themselves headlong into their bright, adventure-filled futures. Or at least, Lily and Sirius were. She could see the uncertainty in her brother's eyes, the forced-ness behind his smile. Fae got her chance to talk to him after the final quidditch game of the year. Gryffindor had won the cup and so James' time as captain and his school quidditch career came to an end. The party was an absolute rager, but around 10, Fae snuck out and found him sitting alone in the stands, no light but the moon and stars.
She settled next to him, handed him a mug of butterbeer, and leaned back to watch the stars with him. They looked extra bright tonight. Excellent view, 10 out of 10. Regulus would love it.
"I'm going to miss it. All of it," James eventually said, leaning back as well and settling his head on her shoulder. His ridiculously messy hair tickled her nose and she fought a sneeze.
"As you should. Hogwarts is incredible and you really nailed your time here," she said, very proud of her older brother. His name would be echoed, and written, in the halls forever, quite literally. Their latest prank was a thing of beauty.
He laughed. "Yeah, I did, didn't I."
She hummed. "Any regrets?"
"….no, not really." Spoken like someone who had regrets.
"So why the long face?"
"I don't know," he sighed. "I'm just-"
When it became apparent he wasn't figuring out what to say, Fae jumped in for him. "Going to miss it."
"Yeah."
She understood this feeling - when she'd graduated high school and college. It was a hard mix of so ready to be done and not quite ready to say goodbye. "What will you miss the most?"
"The quidditch, of course," James laughed.
"Ha." She snorted. Then jostled her shoulder to nudge him. "You know, you can always take one of those offers."
He was quiet, thoughtful in a telling way, and then said, "No, I couldn't."
"Yes, you could."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"N-" she caught herself and nearly shoved him off her. "James Potter, don't you fucking start with me, I'm not drunk enough."
He chuckled heartily at that and charmed his mug of butterbeer with a little something extra. She took a hearty sip and passed it back, then continued. "I mean it though. You're talented and you love it. Seems to be a winning choice. Not many people get the chance to make a living doing something they love."
"Yeah, but-" He sighed deeply.
"The war, I know," she said, also sighing. Wishing she'd finished this stupid war off already. In the books and movies, the Marauders were always represented in retrospect and as far older than they actually were. Her brothers, Peter, Remus, all of them really were just kids and sometimes she felt like Euphemia - desperate to protect them and lock them away so they could enjoy just being young.
"I have to do something. I have to fight," James said, just as she knew he would. He'd been raised right, kind and considerate and with a sense of honor that meant he could never just stand by while something bad happened.
"And you're scared," she added casually.
"And I'm- No I'm not!"
"James, it's okay to be scared."
"I've fought Death Eaters before!" he reminded her, sitting up and glaring. "I'm not scared."
"I didn't say you were scared of fighting," Fae said, rolling her eyes and tugging him back down. He was warm and it was surprisingly chilly out. "You're scared of change," she elaborated. Because everybody was scared of change and 18 was a kick in the teeth.
"Oh," he said, easily being guided back to lounging.
"And it's okay. To be scared of change, I mean. It's huge, to go from Hogwarts where everything is safe and fun and easy, to becoming an Auror where you're constantly in danger and there's no do-overs."
James nodded and fidgeted and frowned. "Growing up kind of sucks," he said, prompting Fae to sputter and giggle madly. Wasn't that the damn truth. That was why even though it kind of sucked to be mistaken for being so young, being young was easier and she was happy to let everybody think so.
"It'll get better, I promise. Life keeps going on, whether we like it or not. We can rise and whine, or we can rise and shine," she said, quoting one of her brothers. It was one of her favorite phrases. It was annoying and comforting how the sun always rose every day. You could choose to greet it and enjoy it, or you could bitch about it and waste time.
"You're right. And besides, I'll still be a badass quidditch player when the war is over," James said. Fae grinned at him, glad he seemed to be feeling better. Sometimes, it helped tremendously to talk about things. Sometimes that's all you really needed.
She flicked him playfully. "The Venetian Valcores would be lucky to have you." And they would one day. He would have his dream, playing quidditch professionally. She'd make sure of it.
"What?" he startled. "No. The Chudley Cannons!"
Fae huffed. "What? Since when?"
James rolled his eyes and gave her a deeply unimpressed look. "Since Ulric Heines joined the Cannons."
She hummed thoughtfully. "Oh he's hot. I'd let him do whatever he wanted to me."
"Fae!" he screeched.
"See, this is why I'm friends with Severus. He doesn't freak out when I say shit like that."
When James seemed to be perking up, Fae turned her attention to Peter. It wasn't until the yearbook deadline passed that Peter faced his own fears and insecurities. She'd known they were there, lurking beneath the surface, and that he'd been avoiding them desperately, and easily with his job as editor-in-chief to focus on. She understood that kind of behavior very well.
Oddly enough, he didn't go to her. Not that she really expected him to, Peter didn't talk about his problems, didn't want to give people a reason to think he was weak, even people he cared about who wouldn't see it as weakness. Again, something Fae could relate to very well. She'd expected to have to hunt him down, corner him for a picnic lunch just the two of them. Instead, she stumbled on him talking with Romilly of all people in the club room. Romilly was late returning her camera and Fae was going to meet her there before heading to the club wrap party, but neither had expected to see Peter there, going through the yearbooks of the past seven years with an expression of worry and melancholy.
Fae had always been amused and curious by the strange friendship between her blunt and churlish best friend and her mousy and sensitive pseudo-brother. She expected Peter to shy away from Romilly and for Romilly to ignore him like most did. Instead, they had a rather interesting rapport. An empathy and understanding for their similar roles regarding their attention-seeking best friends, both Potters, Fae guessed. Instead of barging in, she decided to spy a bit.
"Hey Chief," Romilly greeted easily. Fae loved how she called him Chief and it really said a lot to her respect for the older boy. It was good that someone respected and looked up to him. Peter really was a good guy.
"Romilly," he said, glancing over his shoulder and then turning back to the pages. "Hullo."
The tall blonde settled at the table next to him, picking at the pages herself. "Feeling nostalgic?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Something like that."
"Worried?" she asked.
"…. something like that."
"Don't," she said, flicking through the 1972-1973 volume and snickering at the photo of Dumbledore walking down a hallway, several puffskeins stuck to him via electricity and static. That was just another thing Fae loved about Romilly, how she rolled with everything so easily and took everything in cool stride, sentimental conversations included.
"Don't what?" Peter questioned.
"Worry."
Peter sighed. "Easy for you to say, you're not graduating or being asked to join a war," he said, voice betraying exactly just how much worrying he was doing. A lot.
Romilly shrugged. "A year isn't that much time." And Fae wished it would go by as fast as possible.
"What would you do? If Fae asked you to join a war?"
Fae was curious to hear and leaned in closer. She felt fluttery and proud when Romilly answered without hesitating. "I'd follow her."
And really that was sweet, but now that Fae thought about it, maybe it was good they still had a year. She wasn't sure she wanted to involve Romilly in the war. Without her, she'd probably head off on creature adventures like Newt Scamander and ride off into the tropical sunset without a care in the world.
"Oh." Peter sounded depressed.
Romilly sighed and closed her yearbook, turning to address him head on. "But not because she made me or anything. She's my best friend and she'd respect my decision if I decided to play on the safe side. She'd call me a coward, but she wouldn't mean it and she'd still love me."
"Yeah, sounds like Fae," he agreed, and damn right it did. She was happy that they thought as much of her. Means she was doing something right, there at least.
Romilly nodded. "And like her brothers," she pointed out, getting right to the core of it. Peter truly cared so much about what they thought of him, but the truth was that he really didn't have too. They were the Marauders. Loyal and steadfast to the end. "I like the quiet and easy life as much as you do, but you know, I'd still join. It'd piss me off too much, knowing what kind of trouble she could and would get into without me around. That and I don't trust Lupin to look after her properly."
Aha, what? Seriously, what was the deal with Romilly and Regulus disliking Remus? Remus was so likeable and friendly to both of them. She really needed to figure that out and fix it sometime soon.
Peter laughed sardonically. "You're braver than I am."
"Aren't you in Gryffindor?"
He nodded slowly, sadly, thoughtfully. "Yeah, but I've always wondered if maybe I should've been sorted into Slytherin after all."
"Maybe you've always been meant to be both. Brave, reckless, stupid, bright like a Gryffindor. Ambitious, clever, steadfast like a Slytherin," Romilly said.
"I'm none of those things. I'm-"
"You best not be about to say you're nothing," Fae said, having been unable to help herself.
"Fae!" he cried as she entered the room and sat herself on the table beside them. Romilly, bless her, didn't look the least bit surprised. Honestly, Fae wondered sometimes if Romilly wasn't also hiding some sort of creature attributes.
The dark-haired girl cocked her head and gave him a wicked grin. "Come on, Peter. From one hatstall to another, I promise you that you are all those things and more. Including far too much of a downer. Shouldn't we be celebrating?"
Romilly laughed lightly. "She's right Chief. We'd have never made deadline without you. You boldly led us and pushed us to the finish line with one of the best yearbooks Hogwarts has ever seen. With the most interesting stories that took a clever eye and a sneaky step."
And damn, that was so sweet. Did Romilly perhaps have a little crush on Peter? It was unlike her to be so liberal with compliments.
She'd ship it.
Peter shrugged helplessly. "But that's yearbook. It's not real life."
"Real life? Like Hogwarts is some kind of game? Some trial to life?"
Fae lifted a leg and kicked him the shoulder lightly. "Don't devalue yourself and what you can do. You'll waste a lot of time that way, thinking of things you wish you were or wish you could do instead of sucking it up and just doing it. Scream it out in your head, take the plunge, and breathe it in - every sore and every score. You'll constantly be surprised by what you're capable of."
And she would know. She wasted her first go round up to 17 doing just that. Hell, she'd wasted what could've been the best years of her life at college, doing just that.
Peter swatted her leg away, irritated and frustrated. "I find that hard to believe. Maybe for people like you and Sirius who just do whatever they want. It's not that easy for me."
Fae barked a wild, sharp laugh. "You think it was easy for me? It's never easy. People like Sirius and I act the way we do because we are proud of the things we do that are hard day in and day out and we've learned to laugh at our failures because they happen all the time. People like Sirius and I are just the same as you. There is no difference. There's only do or don't."
"And if I don't?" He challenged, then almost immediately clammed up and looked horrified. Nervous. Worried once again.
She shrugged and gave him an easy smile. "Then we love you and support you anyways. That's what friends, true friends do."
Surprise came over his face. Surprise, and then a wave of relief. Fae hopped off the table, hooked her arms around the both of them, and started bodily dragging them to the party. "Come on, I want at least half of that strawberry cake before Lydia soaks it in champagne. And then I want the remaining half after she does."
Peter needed more time, but did find his courage. He took the plunge, and declared to the other three Marauders that he would join them in the Order and he would do his part, no matter how small it may be. They laughed and rolled their eyes, making jokes about his diminutive animagus form, before slapping him on the back and thanking him heartily. They appreciated his courage. They appreciated him and Fae hoped that would be enough.
That just left Remus. Darling Remus who was running himself into the ground, almost literally.
Running like crazy, preparing for the marathon but really needing to work out the restlessness in his head and body. Studying like crazy, hoping being top of the year for seven years consecutively would help him find a job. Dueling like crazy, trying to stay on par with Sirius and James even though he wasn't joining the Aurors, he just needed to be strong to fight Death Eaters.
Stressed. Her poor darling, the bleeding sod, was stressing himself out and driving himself mad, splitting himself between everything even when he didn't nearly have to. He was stressing himself out and Fae couldn't do much about it other than listen because he was stubborn and had got it into his head that he had to do all of these things at once. So she listened to his worries and his mutters. She helped him with his studies when she could, ran with him every time he needed to clear his head, always had tea and back rubs and silly jokes to make him laugh and smile. She waited, and when he began to doubt himself, she struck.
It was in April, a week or so before a break that was sorely needed. Fae was determined to get Remus to ease off the gas so he could properly take advantage of that break, rather than pushing himself even harder with entire days of freetime he could schedule to the brim with his mad to-do lists. He needed to relax. He was almost worse than James that summer before she started at Hogwarts.
They had been in their library den and studying. Well, he was studying, but Fae had been cheerfully listing off every job she could that he'd be brilliant at. Audio book voice over, librarian, historian, collections curator, bookshop assistant. And some funny ones, for shits and giggles.
"Oh come on, you'd get to play with dogs all day. You could totally be a crup trainer, already partially there and all."
Remus laughed and Fae basked in the sound of it, reveled in the feel of his body loosening and shaking with ease.
Then Fae went in for the kill, humming thoughtfully and running her fingers through his hair like he loved. "You could always go to college, continue your education," she suggested idly.
He stiffened and then huffed a laugh that wasn't really much of a laugh. "And leave you guys here with everything going on? No way."
"Yeah, wouldn't want to miss out on all the fun and blood and guts," she agreed sagely.
However, she knew him. She knew the gears were turning and so she waited again, triumphant when he said, "I wouldn't know what to study and I couldn't afford it anyways." Implying that he very much would go to college, the nerd.
She clicked her tongue. "Well here's the thing about college - you have lots of courses and options to figure it out. Kind of the point of college, the first few years anyways. And I wouldn't worry about money - you could land full-ride scholarships easy. I've read your essays."
Not that she wouldn't pay for it herself if it was really what he wanted. Oh Merlin, she was so far gone, willing to work and tend home while he got his degree and climbed the ladder. But then again, it was Remus, and he'd likely return the favor, in such a hypothetical situation.
"If you think so," he said lightly, clearly pleased with her compliment to his intelligence.
Fae laughed. "I think you'd like english lit classes and sociology. And anthropology. Hey, what kind of majors are there in the magical world?" she asked, very curious. After all, college wasn't off the table for her either. She'd gotten another go at High School. Post-war, college could be tons of fun.
"Similar stuff, I suppose," he answered, lost in thought, clearly fantasizing.
"I think college would be perfect for you."
He went tense again and she scratched behind his right ear, immediately making him relax back down on reflex. "Yes, well there is a war. And a degree probably wouldn't help my chances with getting a steady job anyways," he said dully.
She rolled her eyes and nudged him. "It's not always about the degree, so much as the experience. And you'd be surprised."
He didn't say anything to that. For a woman named Hope, she certainly failed spectacularly to inspire any hope in her child. Did just the opposite, it seemed. How irritating. With a harsh sigh, Fae said, "I'll just have to end the war quickly so then you can go off to Oxford or Cambridge or whatever."
He laughed, thinking she was joking, having no clue that she absolutely was not. "Oh? And what will you be doing?"
As if he really needed to ask. She grinned brightly, beginning to get lost in daydreams of her own. "I'll be with you of course. Taking whatever classes suit my fancy during the week, and every weekend we'll travel somewhere new. I want to see the canals in Italy, the ruins in Rome, the chocolate in Belgium, the sausage in Germany." She said that last one with a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows and he shoved her playfully. "And on breaks, we can come home or we could go to Japan or America or Australia or wherever."
They basked in the idea, but eventually Remus ruined it. "Well that sounds nice and all - but war or not, I really ought to get a job as soon as I can."
"Why's that?"
"To support myself, of course. I can't live with your parents forever."
Neither could she, much as she loved them. She liked living on her own quite a bit, actually. "Well I suppose that's fair, but just remember that money isn't everything."
"Spoken like someone who doesn't have to worry about money," he joked, voice tinged with a little sourness.
She tugged on his hair. "Hey, I'll have you know that I was poor for a good chunk of my life too, you know," she told him, slightly irritated. Her family had been deeply middle class going up, but her mother had always played it like they were poor because anything less than rich wasn't quite good enough for her.
"Oh," he said, regretful, curious. "I didn't know."
She shrugged easily. "Why would you? I've never talked about it. But my point is, paying bills and growing up will always be there. As will fussing about the future. Do a little bit every day, take steps and plan and all that, but never get so caught up that you forget to actually enjoy every day. Life is what happens when you're too busy making plans, after all."
"Cliche."
They chuckled and then she smiled at him. "I'm not wrong. You're sitting here, freaking out about the future when you have a million options and it's ages away, while I'm just trying to soak up the morning and enjoy my time with you. We won't get to spend mornings in this little spot, just us, for much longer you know?" she reminded him.
He looked thoughtful and then remorseful. Good, she was getting to him. "It'll be weird, Hogwarts without you. Almost makes me want to drop out."
Remus frowned deeply. "You wouldn't dare," he snapped, nearly a growl.
"Wouldn't I?" she joked, arching an eyebrow.
"That's not funny, Fae." Because he was a nerd who had lots of feelings about receiving proper education.
"Oh alright, I think I'm funny. I'll stay and finish my education," she agreed, and then sighed wistfully. "It'll just be hard, spending an entire school year away from you and everyone. So that's why I want to enjoy today."
"You're right," he eventually said, closing his textbook and truly, completely relaxing into her hold. Sweet darling, just as she'd planned.
"As usual."
"Cheeky thing."
In a role reversal, Fae ended up reading out loud to him, making him laugh by throwing her voice for different characters. It was nice and warm and comfortable, spring sun coming through the window. When the sun set, their grumbling stomachs forced them to leave their hidden sanctuary for food. As they walked, Remus spoke again.
"Hey Fae?"
"Hey Remus?"
"I wanted to… go see my parents for a bit. Over Easter Hols. Have breakfast with them on Easter, and then of course spend the rest of the day with you and everybody at home. But I want to talk with mum and dad and see if I can't smooth things over a bit. I'm graduating and I… I want them to be there. I want them to know they're welcome," he said, softly.
Fae beamed at him. "I think that's awesome. I'm sure they'll be really happy."
"Will you come with me?"
"Are you serious?" she asked, eyebrows arching high.
And of course, he couldn't resist the joke. "No I'-"
"Shut up," she said, shoving him. "Of course I'll go with you. I'll even wear my prettiest, most delicate dress and do my hair and act mostly like a lady and everything."
Remus chuckled. "Mostly like a lady, she says."
"I'll be on my best behavior. Won't even curse," she promised.
He smiled one of those really sweet smiles at her. "Don't bother. I just need you to be you."
Heart racing, her voice went a little high as she replied. "Sure, I can do that. Just make sure your mother knows I'm coming so she can prepare herself."
"Fae."
"What? You want me to play nice or want me to be me?"
Breakfast went well. Hope had her usual frosted smile, but Lyall looked genuinely happy to have them both. Talk was easy, especially since Fae was all too happy to report properly to his parents all the amazing things Remus had been up to. Sod him, always selling himself short and avoiding attention.
There was a bit of a tense moment when Hope began to get 'concerned' about Remus finding a job after graduation and being a 'burden' to Fae's family, but Fae was quick to argue, politely and sweetly and without cursing, that Remus would be just fine no matter what. He was awesome, people would be crazy not to hire him, there's no rush for him to go anywhere, and his happiness was paramount. He could take his sweet time and stay forever. So long as he found a job he enjoyed doing.
Hope shut her mouth at that and Remus quickly changed the topic to the upcoming Athens Marathon. Lyall seemed really excited, and then a little unsure.
"I'll be there for sure. Greece is wonderful," he said, and Fae wondered if Remus didn't get his wanderlust from his father. Then Lyall shifted uncomfortably.
"However…"
"What?" Remus asked.
"Isn't that a little unfair? To the other racers?"
Fae and Remus blinked dumbly at him and he cleared his throat before elaborating. "You know," he said, awkwardly. "Both of you are very fast, Fleamont tells me all the time. Won't it be a little suspicious if two teenagers absolutely outrun all the professional competitive racers?"
Fae's jaw dropped and her head turned quickly to meet Remus' incredulous stare. Well shit, they hadn't even thought about that. Kind of an awkward side effect of being a werewolf, she supposed. The two teens burst out into laughter.
As with every Easter, Fleamont got out the eggs and baskets for a proper hunt. James complained, not wanting to look uncool in front of Lily. And Fae challenged him until he caved and they all participated because apparently, it was Remus' first egg hunt. His parents never let him when he was little. And thus it was the messiest, wildest Easter they'd ever had with the Marauders, Fae, and Lily playing dirty for the prize basket. Fae and Lily went to war, used to competitive siblings and the boys were left in the dust. Fae happily shared her chocolate winnings with Remus though.
And it wouldn't have been quite right if they hadn't gotten completely wrecked in their Sunday Best, so Euphemia fumed a bit when they all settled for lunch, rowdy and muddy. But it was a beautiful, perfect time. The future was bright, and everything would be better than okay.
A/N: Alright guys, I confess. I've been updating a lot more frequently because I'm so excited for you guys to read the next chapter. I'm warning you now... it's a big one. It's something I think you've all been waiting for. Or at least, one thing. But yeah, we definitely start earning some of those explicit ratings.
Also! Some creative freedom here - I have officially run half-marathons, but I have not yet signed up for/attempted to qualify for a proper marathon so I made up some details.