Shield
by Bensler
Chapter 25 – Plans
Cabot Residence – Friday, December 31 – 8:00 p.m.
Elliot scooped Olivia into his arms and whispered, "You look great."
"Thanks. You're looking pretty good yourself," she said as she squeezed him tighter.
Pulling back so he could see her eyes, they were oblivious to everyone around them.
Approaching the couple, Fin cleared his throat and asked, "You gonna join the party or just stand there making googly eyes at each other?"
"They've been making eyes at each other for years. You should be used to it by now," Munch added, rolling his own eyes, as he stepped up beside Olivia.
"Yeah…but at least it wasn't so blatant before. Ya'll are making me sick," Fin teased as he shook his head.
They all laughed as Fin headed for the food.
Elliot and Olivia chatted with their friends for about an hour before Olivia saw Elliot pull Alex aside and talk to her. She glanced over at Olivia and smiled. Olivia did not like being talked about and she wondered what Elliot had said.
He was grinning as he made his way back to her. "Hey…why don't we say goodbye and head out?"
"What?" Olivia wasn't ready to leave. She was enjoying seeing everyone together.
"I've got somewhere I want to take you."
"Now? And just leave the party?"
"Well, yeah. We can come back later if you want," he offered.
"But it would be rude to leave when Alex has…"
"Alex is fine with it."
So that's what he was talking to her about, Olivia thought. "Oh…okay."
After hugging everyone and wishing them a 'Happy New Years' just in case they didn't make it back in time, Olivia hooked her arm through Elliot's and let him lead her out to his car.
"Where are we going?" She thought perhaps he had something planned with the kids but then decided they would all be out with their own friends.
"You'll see." His grin was a smirk. He was proud of what he had accomplished today.
As they entered the familiar neighborhood, Olivia's heart quickened. She looked questioningly at Elliot but he remained silent, the smirk more pronounced.
When he pulled up in front of her building and shut off the car, Olivia said, "This brings new meaning to 'bringing me home', huh?"
Elliot laughed. "Don't worry. I intend to bring you home from now on."
She blushed at the double entendre.
Ever the gentleman, he jumped out and came around to help her out of the car.
As she followed him up the stoop, she was surprised at her sudden nervousness. Not about being with Elliot, but about being with him at her apartment when she had not been there in weeks and knew the place was not in order. She wondered why that would bother her now when he had been to her place plenty of times in the past and she never worried how it looked then. Because things changed, that's why. She didn't care if he knew his partner was a bit of slob, but she didn't want him thinking his girlfriend couldn't keep house.
Benson Residence – Friday, December 31 – 9:20 p.m.
When they got to her door, Elliot held up the key and unlocked the door. "Close your eyes."
"What? Why?"
"Olivia, just close your eyes. Please." This woman could be so exasperating at times, he thought.
She did so and Elliot took her by the shoulders to lead her into the apartment. "Stand there just a second." He quickly scanned the room to make sure everything was in place and to take care of one little thing.
Olivia wondered what the clicking noise was she heard.
"Okay. Open your eyes," Elliot told her as he quickly slipped a lighter back into his pocket.
Smiling at him, she did as he said, and was truly surprised. In the dimmed lights of her living room she could see her apartment was in pristine order. Then her eyes were drawn to her small dining table covered in a white lace tablecloth with a dark green runner over it and adorned with two long, red candles, lit and standing in crystal holders. The table was set for two with china she had never seen. It was plain white with gold trim. Gold utensils on carefully folded linen napkins lay beside the plates. Two crystal goblets, one for wine and one for another beverage sat ready to be filled.
"Elliot? I…I don't know what to say," she whispered. "It's beautiful."
"Say you like roasted duck."
"You made roasted duck?"
Elliot laughed. "What, you don't think I'm capable of roasting a duck?"
"No, I didn't say that. I just…did you roast a duck?"
"Relax. It's carry out from Bordeaux's," he told her as he seated her at the table.
When he started for the kitchen, Olivia caught his arm and turned him back. "Elliot, this is absolutely wonderful. Thank you." She pulled him to her in a deep kiss.
"You know, I could get used to this," he teased as he nipped at her bottom lip.
"So could I." She smiled as she watched him in the kitchen. "So could I."
He filled the two smaller glasses, returned to the table and handed her one.
"Oh, I can't drink, El. I took my pills earlier." She held her hand up in refusal.
"And that's why this is cran-apple juice."
"How thoughtful. Thanks," she said as she took the glass. They both took a sip.
"Be right back." Within minutes, he had salads, the duck, new potatoes, sautéed green beans and sliced French bread on the table. He served Olivia first then filled his own plate and sat on the side at her right.
"This is so good," she said as she took her second bite of duck. "How did you keep it warm?"
"Had Mrs. Timms across the hall let the delivery guy in about ten minutes before we got here."
"You thought of everything, didn't you?" She smiled. "This is so special, Elliot. You made me…made me feel special, too," she added shyly.
"You are special, Olivia. Don't ever think otherwise." He leaned over and kissed her softly.
When they finished dinner, Elliot cleared the table. Though she wanted to help, he insisted she enjoy being waited on. The last dish washed and put away, Elliot went to his jacket and slipped an envelope from the breast pocket.
As he sat down, he handed it to Olivia. "I wanted to show you this tonight but I wanted us to be alone when I did."
Olivia looked from him to the plain white envelope. "What is it?"
"Open it and find out," he challenged.
She could not imagine what it would be as she turned it over a couple of times and stared down at it. Finally, she raised the unsealed flap and pulled the folded papers from it.
As soon as she unfolded the papers her eyes caught the words 'Stabler vs. Stabler', and she looked up at Elliot. He had an expectant look on his face but smiled when their eyes met.
She started to speak, but no words came. She could not think of anything appropriate.
"Well? It was final today."
"I…I don't…know what to say, El."
Puzzled, Elliot told her, "I thought you'd be happy."
"I…how…I mean…Elliot, how can I be happy that your marriage ended."
Confusion filled his features. "What? I thought you wanted us to be together."
"I do. I do…I just…marriage is suppose to be forever and I don't…I mean…I understand things happen, but do you really expect me to say 'congratulations' or something?"
He stared at her, incredulous over the direction this seemed to be going. "I don't know. I guess not, but I expected some kind of positive reaction." Standing he snatched the papers from her folded them up, shoved them back in the envelope and went to put them back in his jacket.
Olivia went to him. "Elliot, I'm sorry. I am glad you are free. Thrilled that we can be together. It's just that I hate to see your family broken." She put her arms around his waist, hugging him from behind.
He took her hands and pulled them from him as he stepped away. "It's been broken for a long time. You know that better than anyone. You think I should have tried longer? Harder? Done more?"
Hurt that he pushed her away, Olivia blinked back tears. "Elliot…don't be like this."
"Like what? You think I'm a failure, don't you? Kathy was miserable, I was miserable. So, I'm just a miserable failure!"
His voice was escalating and Olivia did not want a fight.
"No! You are right, Elliot. I do know what you have gone through these past few years and I know how hard you tried to keep your marriage and family together. And I want to be with you, just don't ask me to be happy that a divorce had to occur for us to be together."
She stepped toward him and put her hand on his arm. "Please…try and understand. In a way I feel like this was my fault."
He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to him as he bent to look her in the eyes. "No. This divorce has nothing to do with you, Olivia. You cannot take the blame for it. My marriage had been in trouble long before I met you. Besides, you and I had barely even been speaking when Kathy and I decided it was time to own up and call it quits."
"Okay, okay. I won't try to take the blame, if you don't try to make me feel good about the divorce. Deal?"
Elliot stared at her. "Deal."
They stood there just holding each other for a long time. "We're crazy." Elliot whispered.
"We are."
"You mean you agree with me?"
"You sound surprised."
"You never agree that easily. At least not with me."
"But I always agree with you on the important things," she countered.
"Yeah? Like what?"
Like, I love you," she told him as she placed a kiss on his cheek.
"Mmmm," he growled. "I love you, too."
They decided to bring the New Year in by themselves and settled on Olivia's couch to watch the partiers in Times Square. The television volume was down as low as they snuggled and halfway watched the celebration.
Elliot's mind wandered from his new relationship with Olivia and their future to her cancer. All along he'd been curious but never asked about the specifics of the kind Olivia had. Alex, Casey or Melinda had ever mentioned it and he simply could not bring himself to ask. When he found out he wanted it to be from Olivia, not second hand. So, now as she cuddled next to him, his arms around her, he decided it was time to find out.
"You know, I've been here with you through this ordeal and I don't even know how you found out you had…cancer or what kind it is we've been fighting."
Silent, Olivia began fidgeting with her watch. She did not look at him.
Finally, Elliot pulled her closer and spoke again, "I guess I don't really need to know…I mean if you don't want to tell…
She grabbed his hand resting on her shoulder. "I want you to know. I just assumed you got the details from Casey, Alex or Mel."
"It never came up."
Olivia looked up and smiled. "And you didn't ask?"
He shrugged slightly. "I wanted you to be the one to tell me."
Nodding, she turned so they were facing one another. She took a deep breath. "Melanoma."
"Skin cancer?"
She nodded once and raised her eyebrows, and Elliot continued, "I thought only light, fair complexioned people got it. Someone like me and my family who don't tan easily."
"Me, too." Sadness tinged her voice. "When my dermatologist told me anyone – even those with dark skin – can get melanoma, I was very surprised. I've always tanned easily and never gave skin cancer a thought."
"How did you realize there was a problem?"
"There was this mole on my right hip," she said as she placed her hand where it had been. "It's always been there. I noticed it seemed larger and irritated the last six months or so."
"Six months? You let this go six months, Olivia?" Elliot interrupted.
She gave him a look that told him to back off. "It was right where my belt and holster rested and I just thought that was why it had changed. It never crossed my mind it could be something so serious. It got worse…became quite painful and began to bleed. When it never healed or got any better and began to interfere with what I could wear, I showed it to Melinda. She was so alarmed she insisted I make an appointment right then. She wouldn't let me leave until I called the doctor."
"Why? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Elliot…"
"I'm sorry. I know things were not good between us…"
"Not good?"
"Okay…bad. Things were bad between us, but, I wish you had told me. Wish you felt like you could have told me."
"I wanted to…but I didn't want you to worry and I was afraid you wouldn't care. Look, we've been over this. It is what it is. You know now and…"
"I'm here now. And we're going to get through this together." He leaned down to kiss her as she smiled up at him.
"Together. I like the sound of that."
"Good. Just curious, but what kind of changes should I look for in a mole? I got five kids to worry about."
"Well, it's actually pretty easy to remember. Just wish I had known beforehand. Remember to look for A, B, C, D, & E. A is for asymmetrical meaning is one side different from the other? If you were to draw a line in the middle, would each side look alike? If not, it needs to be checked out. B means border. Are the edges smooth or ragged around the outside? If the borders are uneven, irregular that is not a good thing. Then C, color. Is it a different color than it had been or now multicolored? Do you see blue or black, or varying shades of brown? D is next, diameter. Most melanomas are bigger than size of a pencil eraser in circumference. Yes, some melanomas are smaller, and some non-melanomic moles can be larger; but if the mole is bigger than a pencil eraser and especially if it has any of the other characteristics mentioned, call the doctor. The last thing is E, for evolving. I think this is a new addition to the group of letters of warning about melanoma. Normally a mole that is a source of melanoma will change (or evolve) in color and/or size. It might itch; be sore; grow in elevation; bleed. If any of these things happen, you need to get it checked out. Anyone who is in the sun regularly or had melanoma in the past should be checked head to toe by a professional at least once a year."
"A, B, C, D & E. I think I can remember all that."
"And don't forget the sunscreen."
"I'll have to explain all this to the kids and Kathy."
At the mention of Kathy, Olivia grew quiet.
Elliot noticed. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Olivia…tell me."
"I just…I hope Kathy is okay."
Elliot shook his head. Only Olivia could be concerned with his wife's, correction ex-wife's state of mind over the divorce. "Kathy is fine. She's at a party tonight?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, really." He smiled and kissed her again.
Suddenly Olivia pointed at the television. "Oh, turn it up! Turn it up! It's almost the new year!"
'And the countdown starts, ten…nine…'
Olivia and Elliot shouted out the numbers with the announcer. "Two…one…happy new year!" Elliot picked her up as they exclaimed and hugged and kissed. "I love you." "I love you, too."
They sat down and watched as footage was shown from all the major cities in the U.S. and across the world as they came into the New Year.
"I've always wanted to go to Italy," Olivia said.
"Italy? Well, maybe we can plan on doing that in a year or two," Elliot told her.
"Yeah?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"Yeah, why not?" she agreed. "Excuse me…I need to pay a visit to the little girl's room."
Elliot moved so she could get by. His followed her until she disappeared into the bathroom. He loved that woman so much it made his heart ache. That she felt the same for him was just unbelievable. Leaning his head on the back of her couch, he closed his eyes and thought of all the plans he had for him and Olivia and how he had never been so content in his life.
An unfamiliar tone caused him to open his eyes and look for the source. The screen on Olivia's cell phone lit up in the dim light of the room. All Elliot had to do was lean across the couch to where Olivia had been sitting to see it sitting on the end table. He didn't even have to pick it up to see it was a text instead of a call.
His stomach clenched and his heart dropped as he could not help but read it. 'Happy New Year, Liv. Still in Nashville-forgot we're an hour behind. Will call when I'm back in NYC. ~ Dean'
Elliot felt the anger rising and willed himself to calm down. Why the heck was Dean texting Olivia? It sounded like they had an on-going relationship and Elliot did not like it one bit. He never liked Porter. Quit jumping to conclusions, Stabler, he told himself. Most of his and Olivia's fights were because one or both of them jumped to conclusions. Okay…okay. He'd give her a chance to explain. He laid his head back on the couch and closed his eyes again.
Olivia returned, rubbing her hand over his head as she stepped over him. "Hey, Slick. You asleep?"
"No," he answered without opening his eyes.
Before she sat down she noticed her phone blinking. Just as she picked it up, Elliot opened his eyes and watched her read the text from Dean. And smile. She smiled! Elliot was furious but held his tongue.
As she sat down she smiled at Elliot and he asked, "Missed call?"
"Uh-uh. Just a friend texting me 'Happy New Year's'."
She snuggled against him and he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close as thoughts crashed through his head.
All he could think was she missed her chance to explain. In fact, it seemed to him she was deliberately keeping the truth from him. Dean and Olivia. Olivia and Dean. Just a friend. Yeah. Right. Just a friend.
~ ~ ~ eoeoeoeoeo ~ ~ ~