It's funny how something that happened twenty years ago can feel like it happened yesterday. So, so many people have told me that the pain lessens over time. Why does it feel like the exact opposite, the pain getting worse not better?

Don't think I've had one day or night in those two decades where I've not suffered from flashbacks and nightmares. Feels like every time I shut my eyes, I see myself back in that kitchen unable to stop staring at what was left of my mother, the smell of blood assaulting my nostrils finding it difficult to breathe.

My mother was all I had, my father having never been in my life, myself being an only child. For some reason which still seems strange to me, my mum had always refused to tell me anything about him. I'd given up asking her when I was nine, had come to accept the fact that I'd never find out who my dad was.

It still hurt, though especially seeing all the other kids with both parents. I lost track of how many nights I would cry myself to sleep, wondering what I had done wrong for my father to abandon me, why my mother would never tell me anything about him.

I never expected my mum to abandon me as well especially not in that way, her life getting ripped away from her at still such a young age, not even forty. I never even got the chance to bury her, say goodbye to her, see her laid to rest, lay her favourite flowers, sunflowers, on her grave.

That man...The Doctor...he'd saved my life even as it was in ruins, everything around me looking and feeling like it had been burnt down to the ground leaving nothing but an endless pile of ashes.

I wasn't stupid. I knew the moment he'd grabbed my hand that he wasn't human. And stepping into his ship, his Tardis, I knew 100% that he wasn't human.

I hadn't forgotten about him, not once, in these twenty long years. I never saw him again after that night, but I knew he was still out there, helping people like myself. I just wish I could see him again, just once.

-x

"Perfect," I sighed, smiling, pulling the piece of paper out of the printer, looking it over then adding it to the quite large pile of paper on the coffee table.

It feels like this new one has taken me an eternity to write rather then a few months. It was the third novel I'd written, the first two turning out to be extremely successful. Becoming an author had always been my dream growing up and to see it come true had been extremely emotional.

Penny Harding had become almost a friend to me even though she wasn't real. She'd helped keep me sane during the nights when my sleep would be disturbed by nightmares about my mum.

I switch my computer off getting up out of my leather chair letting out a groan, raising my arms above my head, having a good stretch before heading through to the kitchen needing a good mug of strong coffee.

Three minutes later, I go back to my living area, hot mug in my hands, flopping down on the sofa, taking a small sip then putting the mug down on the table, my eyes moving back to the pile of white paper. I pick it up slipping it into my bag then zipping it up putting it next to me on the sofa.

Yet again, my mind slips towards the Doctor, my eyes closing. It was impossible for anybody not to have seen the weird things that had happened over the past year and a half; those shop window dummies coming to life, the giant spaceship crashing into Big Ben, all those people standing on the edge of every building in the city.

Every single time those things had happened, I'd gone out in search of him knowing somehow that he must be out there investigating what had happened. I'd never found him, something that had upset me. Starting to believe that I will probably never see him again.

I open my eyes hearing my phone go off picking it up off the table seeing I've got a message, opening it and reading it.

"Hey, sweetheart. Can you meet me at our usual place?. I have something I think could be important."

I down the rest of my coffee, getting up off the sofa, dumping the mug in the sink then pulling on my dark red leather jacket, zipping it up before grabbing my keys.

I don't know why, but I have a feeling this could finally lead me to what I've been craving for twenty years. And that thought makes it impossible not to smile.

Thanks for all who have liked this so far.

Gwenaria 1- Thanks!. And thanks for the advice. I will keep that in mind for future chapters.