Term exams had finally come to an end and the Christmas season was upon us. Most of my friends were leaving for the holidays, excluding Harry and the Weasleys. Mariah had given Hayden and I the option to stay at school over the holidays, but we both agreed that we'd much rather go home to see her. I never thought I would've missed her as much as I had. While Hayden was away at school, it was just Mariah and I spending each day together. Not having her with me every day was admittedly difficult.

Currently, Hayden and I were standing on the platform in King's Cross, waiting for Mariah to show up. Sophie and Clara had already gone off with their own families, but I hadn't seen Mandy since we stepped onto the train in the first place. Sophie had invited her to sit with us, however in normal Mandy fashion, she dismissed the blonde and went her own way. I really wished she would just talk to us. Especially since we had to spend another 6 and a half years together.

Much to my excitement, I saw Mandy step through the barrier and onto the King's Cross platform. Without a word to Hayden, I walked over to her with a smile. "Hey, I really just wanted to wish you a Happy Christmas before you left. We'll see each other soon, yeah?" I reached my hand out towards her, only to have her narrow her eyes at me.

"No offense, but I'm really not in the mood for a happy goodbye." Seeing the shock on my face, she continued. "I just want to go home and forget about school for a while."

Seeing that she was clearly not going to accept my hand, I lowered it with a frown. "I don't think I understand. Did I do something to upset you?"

Mandy gave her head a shake. "No, it's just.." she took a breath. "We'll talk when we get back from break, okay? I just want to be away from everything for a while."

Hesitantly, I nodded. "Okay.. I'll be here waiting to talk when we get back." I reached out and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "We're friends whether you like it or not. So, have a Happy Christmas." I smiled, pulling my hand back to my side.

She met my gaze, putting a slight smile on her face, something that I rarely ever saw. "Yeah.. You too."

At that point, I turned away and headed back towards Hayden who was now standing with Mariah. "Hey! Was just saying goodbye to a friend." I smiled as I reached over and gave Mariah a hug. "It's good to see you again."

Mariah blinked, returning my embrace. "I missed you greatly, both of you." She spoke, looking from me to Hayden. "You both seem in great spirits." When we pulled away from my hug, she gave me a look over. "I really wasn't expecting this warm of a hello. Hogwarts is already breaking you out of your shell."

I smiled softly. "I've interacted with more people in the last four months than I have in eleven years. But.." I trailed off a bit, glancing away from her. "I did miss you quite a bit." It was something that I hadn't admitted before. Certainly not outloud. Over the last few months, I had found myself missing the time I had spent with Mariah. We had spent most of the last two years together, just the two of us. There may have been times when I shut myself in and refused to talk to her, but I would always go back to her looking for a human connection. I trusted her more than I did anyone else. She was the only one of my foster parents that didn't give up on me instantly. That was something I would never forget.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me," Mariah gave my shoulders a squeeze before gesturing us forward. "Come come. We should get home so you two can get settled. I sure hope you sent out the presents for your friends before you left." She began rambling as we walked towards the exit of the train station. "Owl post is dreadfully slow this time of year. Poor things can barely keep up with their workload. I assume since Christoph isn't with you, he's taking care of all your packages?"

"Yeah, we're all set." Hayden responded with a light chuckle. "Can't trust us at all, can you?"

"You know that's not true." Mariah sighed. "It makes me feel so much better knowing that you kids don't need to worry about anything over break." We reached her car and crawled in, Hayden sitting in the front, myself in the back. "I only get a couple of weeks with you two. I want to make sure we make the most of the time."

I placed my elbow on the arm rest, staring out the window as the car began to move. Her and Hayden spoke back and forth for the majority of the ride, but I drowned their words out, my mind somewhere completely different. The moment I saw Mariah, I felt a sense of relief. As much as I wanted to keep that feeling, I found myself thinking back to the conversation I had with Mandy. Something was bothering her that went farther than simply not liking Clara. I knew it was none of my business, but it felt like I was being drawn in whether I liked it or not. They weren't even the ones pulling me in, I was doing it on my own. I had a desire to help and I didn't even know why.

Before I started at Hogwarts, I didn't want anything to do with other people. Something about that school was making me care for others in a way I never thought was possible. In such a short time no less. What was I even thinking? People have always left me behind so what made me think that my classmates were any different? I must have been going insane. Just a few months ago, having accepted Hayden into my life was already tiring me out. What was this school doing to me?

"Grab the butter from the top shelf of the fridge." Mariah spoke from her place behind the kitchen counter.

It was Christmas Eve and Hayden and I were helping Mariah out with her holiday baking. We had already been on break for a few days now and she had been making the most of every moment just as she had said she would. Even on my usual quiet mornings, Mariah was already awake and ready to start the day. That wasn't something I was used to. All that time that her and I had, each morning I would get up a couple hours before her just to have a cup of tea and watch the sunrise. The past few mornings, she had been up with me.

"I've got it." Hayden waved the stick of butter in the air before setting it down beside the metal mixing bowl we had for the batch of cookies we were making. "You should really make these cookies year round. Just one batch at Christmas is torture.." He muttered, eyeing the dough.

Mariah let out a small chuckle. "Then they wouldn't be my special cookies, now would they? And if you really want them so badly, make them yourself, you know the recipe."

Hayden stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "The House Elves don't like when we want to use the kitchen. They insist that they make everything for us."

"Wait," I began, raising an eyebrow. "Since when do you get to go into the kitchen? I thought that was off limits to students."

The blonde was silent for a moment, contemplating his answer rather carefully. "Fred and George figured out how to get in there our first year. Those House Elves fell in love with us lads rather quickly so of course we have to go visit them every so often."

"Uh huh, sure." The corner of my lips curled up, knowing that there was most likely more to the story than he was sharing. The Gryffindor boys were the kind to do something like that, however, they typically had an ulterior motive.

Mariah hummed as she folded the dough over with her hands. "I remember trying to sneak into the kitchens. Though, it was a bit easier for me since the Hufflepuff dorms were right next to them. Didn't have to sneak through the corridors to get there."

I glanced over at her in curiosity. "You were a prefect, how did you get away with breaking the rules like that?"

A small grin appeared on her lips. "You get away with quite a bit as prefect. Quite easy to get out of trouble by simply telling a professor you're patrolling the corridors." As quickly as her smile formed, it fell once more as she gave us both a serious look. "Don't you dare take my advice. The last thing I need is a letter home telling me you two got yourself into a load of trouble."

Hayden winked, holding up his hand. "Of course, I would never take advice like that. I follow the beat of my own drum after all."

Mariah reached over and gave him a light smack on the back of his head. "I don't suggest that either, young man."

"Good to know that I'm the responsible one around here." I let out a half hearted chuckle and before anyone could respond to me, an owl flew in through the open kitchen window and landed gracefully on Christoph's empty purch.

The owl that flew in wasn't one that I recognized and from the looks on Hayden and Mariah's faces, I could say that they thought the same. In its talons sat a small package with a note attached to the top. Ruffling its brown feathers, it gave each of us a look over before letting out a squawk. I had seen each of my friend's owls and this certainly wasn't any of theirs. The Weasley's owl was notorious for being clumsy so this couldn't have been theirs. Possibly a wrong address?

Mariah walked up to the owl and took the package from its talons. As she ran her free hand over the top of the owl's head and looked over the note. "I think it's for you, Penny." She spoke, handing it over to me.

I furrowed my brow, taking the package from her. The outside of the note read, Penelope so it was indeed mine. "I don't.. I don't know the owl, do I open it?" I paused, turning it over in my hands. "It could be a Christmas present too.."

Hayden looked over my shoulder to get a better look at the package. "I'd say open it. Even if it is a present, people have that tradition where people can open one present on Christmas Eve, so why not?"

Before this year, I had never even expected more than the one or two presents from Hayden or Mariah. I knew full well some of my friends were sending me gifts, but the majority of my classmates had sent their gifts out before the term ended and they were already sitting underneath our Christmas tree. The curiosity about this gift came from wondering who sent it, not from what was inside.

"Go on," Mariah began, giving me a reassuring smile. "The owl seems quite friendly. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

I nodded and set the gift on the counter and unfolded the note. My eyes scanned the words, widening as I made my way to the end. This was the last thing I was expecting.

Penelope,

When you were a baby, listening to these stories was the only thing that would get you to fall asleep. Even at such a young age, you seemed to understand the stories you were being told. No matter what, you wouldn't fall asleep until we reached the end of the story. I thought you should have the very same book you had when you were small. Maybe it'll bring you some comfort.

Happy Christmas

RJL

Without even taking a moment to think, I ripped open the gift to find the book that was mentioned in the note. The Tales of Beedle and the Bard. The corners and spine of the book were worn from being opened many times. Behind me, Mariah said something, but I couldn't hear it. My mind was focused on the book in my hands and the note that came with it.

RJL? I couldn't recall someone who had those initials. The note spoke as if the person knew me when I was a child, so did the L stand for Lupin? Could that even be possible? I knew full well that I was put into foster care before I was even a year old and since then, I had heard nothing of my family. Could it be someone who fostered me as a baby? That was possible, but didn't make much sense. I hadn't heard from any of my passed foster homes since I left them.

"RJL… Could be Remus.. Something Lupin." Hayden's voice entered my ears, pulling my mind away from its confusion. I moved my gaze towards him and seeing a questioning expression on my face, he continued. "You told me not too long ago you thought that maybe your dad's name was Remus. I'm just trying to connect a few dots for you."

That was right. I had heard that name in a dream, but dreams weren't specifically memories so there was a chance I was wrong. "Remus Lupin.." I spoke aloud to hear what it sounded like. "Remus… Lupin." It didn't sound real. Then again, I wasn't sure what was supposed to be real.

A hand appeared on my shoulder, causing me to jump. When I looked over, I saw Mariah giving me a soft smile. "For whatever is going through your mind, don't bundle it inside, alright? It's a lot to take in at once, you can talk it out all you need."

Part of me wanted to cry in confusion, but the part that showed through was simply to shut down. Without a word, I simply took the book and the note and left the kitchen with them clutched close to my chest. Even if I did share my confusion, every emotion I was feeling, how were they going to help me? Neither Hayden nor Mariah knew a thing about my family so all they could really offer me was comfort and I didn't want that. I wanted answers and they weren't going to be able to provide me with any at all.

I walked down the hall and into my room, closing the door behind me. Slowly, I made my way over to my desk and sat down. What was I supposed to think? If the person who sent me this book was truly my dad, why hadn't he reached out before now? If he knew where I was, why hadn't he come for me? I closed my eyes as a third thought crossed my mind. "If he isn't dead.. Why did he leave me?" I muttered before biting my bottom lip in an attempt to hold back my emotions.

Hesitantly, I opened my eyes and reached up to pull a shoebox from the shelf above my desk. I opened it to find a cluster of papers, some more worn than others. The papers were letters I had been writing since I was little. Each of them had been addressed to my parents, whoever they were. It had been my way of telling them about my life and more importantly, where I wrote each of the questions I had for them. Some of the letters showed more anger than others, some were simply written as if I were talking to an old friend. I had written a few while at school, but the original box stayed here so I wouldn't reread them and dwell on my thoughts.

I refiled through a few of them, finding multiple about how upset I had been that they left me behind. Those were from days that I was certain my parents were alive and well somewhere. Days that I was so sure that they had given me up when they deemed me unworthy of their love. During those times, I felt that I couldn't be loved by anyone. After moving from home to home, I began to truly believe I was unlovable. And that all started with my parents.

The current letter in my hand began to crumble in my fists as I struggled to hold my emotions in. The more I thought it over, the more I knew. The person who sent me this book was my dad. I clenched my teeth together before taking a hand and shoving the box off my desk, sending the papers scattered across the floor. He left me. He left me. He left me. He left me! My hands went into my hair, gripping the brown strands as if my life depended on it. I wanted to scream, to cry, anything, but all I could manage were sharp, quick breaths.

"Penny?" Hayden's voice appeared and a light knock could be heard from my door. "Can I come in?" When I didn't respond to his question, he took that as an answer and opened the door. He saw the mess of papers on the floor and let out a breath, shutting the door behind him. "Quite the mess you got in here."

I didn't bother looking in his direction, simply down towards the floor. "Sorry." I stated plainly, unsure of what I should say about the mess I had made.

He took a few steps in, picking a few papers up from the floor. His eyes scanned some of the words before he hummed in understanding. "I had some of these too. Writing them made me feel better some days, other days made me feel like absolute crap." He let out a small chuckle, sitting down on my bed. "Talk to me."

"I don't want to talk, I'd rather be left alone." I snapped, moving my chair so my back faced him.

"Ah, I see." He responded, laying his back against the soft fabric of my comforter. "I'll take that as my invitation to stick around." I didn't say anything in response to him. Even if I had something to say, that didn't make me want to talk anymore. "You got a gift that not many of us foster kids get. A letter from your dad. I think a part of you is actually pretty happy you heard from him."

"Happy? Are you serious?" I questioned, whipping my head to glare at him. "I finally learned that my dad is alive, but where does that leave me? Wondering why he left me in the first place. No one just leaves a kid behind for no reason. I want to know why he left me. That's something you won't understand. Your parents are.." I trailed off, realizing where I was heading. My gaze softened. "Sorry, I'm just.. Angry."

Hayden nodded, his gaze plastered towards the ceiling. "I get it. I'm the last person you need to explain it to." This wasn't my first outburst that I had in front of him. Some days were better than others, but the anger of not knowing where I came from was something I didn't have a great deal of control over. "Be in foster care long enough and just about anyone will think they're unworthy of another person's love. I just wanted to have a permanent home. Not being adopted was what made me think I was unworthy. It really just depends on the story behind the person, but all of our anger stems back to the same thing."

I was silent for a few moments before I let out a long awaited breath. "You're right. I'm sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself I suppose."

"Yeah, a bit." He let out a small chuckle, sitting back up. His amused expression quickly grew serious as he spoke again. "I want you to remember something. No matter what you think about how no one wants you around, I want you to know that I will always want you in my life. Our parents leaving or passing on just means that we get to choose our own families. The day you walked in that front door you became a part of my family whether you knew it or not."

I stared back at him, my eyes wide with astonishment. "Don't tell me you actually.."

"See you as my own sister? Yeah, that about sums it up." He hopped up and walked up towards me, placing his hands on my shoulders. "I know it's not a word you're very fond of, but I'm only telling you so you know that someone actually cares about you. I would do anything for you, I really hope you know that now."

"I.." I began before biting the tip of my tongue. I wasn't even close to calling Hayden family so hearing him say he thought of me as his sister was a bit of a shock. "I'm not sure how that's supposed to make me feel, but.. I think it actually makes me feel content. Thank you. Just.. know I'm still not ready to-"

"Call me family, don't worry." He chuckled, standing up straight. "You're not there, I get it. That doesn't change a thing. I'm still here for you. No matter what." The smallest smile crossed my lips, but I still couldn't manage a proper response. Noticing this, Hayden took a step back. "I'll give you some space to think. I'll be in the kitchen if you need something." With those words, he turned and headed for the door. He sent me one last smile before leaving me to my thoughts.

As the door clicked shut, I took in a deep breath. This certainly wasn't how I thought my Christmas break would go. Whatever happened to just relaxing and baking cookies all day? The last few months I had allowed myself to relax on my desire to learn more about my family. I had allowed myself to learn more about magic than I did about myself.

This Christmas gave me far more to think about than I would have ever wanted at once.