Guess who's back?

Back again?

Shithead's back.

Tell a friend.

A: Big shoutout to my homie Kami-chan, for bringing me back to life. Wouldn't be here writing this story if it wasn't for her. (Since I, you know, DIED.)

But whatever, it's not like I care anyway.

K: Awww, Author-kun is being a Tsun-Tsun.

A: No, I'm not being a tsundere, I genuinely don't care.

K: ….

A: So, before Kami-chan snaps and decides to send me back to the warm embrace of Death-chan, I should get on with the story. Oh, yeah, this chapter will be about Jean(?), in case you couldn't tell from the ending of the last chapter, to honor the release of her skin.

Anyway, enjoy. Or atleast try to.

Jean was in equal parts sad and angry. Sad, because she never realized that Aether was gay, and angry because she never realized that Aether was gay.

The only sane choice left for her was to kill Venti, but even if she was blinded by love, she knew that killing an archon would be no easy task.

However, she simply couldn't formulate a plan to make Aether fall in love with her. Consulting Lisa or Amber may have helped, but her pride (I mean, she was an aristocrat after all) wouldn't let her consult her rival.

Thus, caught in a deadlock, she happened to stumble across the man himself. i.e. Aether, with his "girl"friend or as this "girl"friend liked to refer to himself, "Aether's personal cumdump."

(A: Imma tell you guys a secret, just between us, Venti has that tattooed on his ass.

K: Wait hold on, when did he get this tattooed on his ass? Do tattoos even exist in this world?

A: You're asking too many questions; I don't have enough brain juice to answer all of them.

K: I asked 2 questions…

A: Yeah, and that's probably more than one (I forgot how to count again. Big sed.))

Seeing Aether with that damn femboy gave the brilliant Jean a brilliant idea.

She ran up too him and hugged him. Hard.

And, let me tell you one thing Jean's "hugs" are not a force to be fought against. She may lounge around in her office all day, reading romantic novels and imagining herself and Aether in those scenarios, she was really damn strong.

Aether probably broke a few bones from that lust filled hug.

"Aether, I missed you so much. Why don't you ever visit me in my office?" Jean said, in a suggestive tone.

And of course, as you might have predicted already, Aether being the dense motherfucker that he is, didn't catch the hint.

(K: Bold of you to call someone dense, you brick.

A: Are you trying to flirt with me, or are you trying to roast me?

K: You just proved my point. We'll let the person on the other side of the screen decide what my motive was behind that sentence.

A: Welp, you're not gonna tell me what it was, so I'll just stop writing until you tell me.

K: Wait, what?

A: …

K: …

A: …

K: Alright fine, I was trying to give you a hint now carry on with the damn story, cunt.

A: Yay.)

Jean started um… rubbing around Aether's body.

(K: Stop trying to act innocent, I have seen your browser history.)

To Venti, this was sacrilege. A person always gets a bit possessive of the one that steals their virginity, and starts overthinking. This was exactly the case with Venti.

The way Jean was rubbing her tits and sweaty body (Jean was taking out her anger on some training dummies some time before.) all over Aether seemed like she was trying to mark him as her own mate. This infuriated Venti, who punished Jean severely.

(Jk. I have been watching too much oversimplified.)

Now let's view thing from a different perspective. Imagine you are Aether. You can feel Jean's steady heartbeat against yours. Her soft, large and partially exposed breasts are pressed against your chest. Her soft and supple cheeks, soft as a baby, are pressed against yours. Her arms, strong enough to crush a Mitachurl's skull yet nimble enough to nip a hair out of a feather wrapping around you in a warm embrace. She is really sweaty but still has that sweet smell about her.

Aether had the same reaction any (partially) straight male would.

He got a boner.

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Jean felt something poking her. She looked down and was happy. If Aether got a boner from that hug, it meant that he found her body sexually attractive. And this was a good thing.

But even if the square (or circle) was relatively empty, there was still another person who noticed Aether's boner. Venti. Now, Venti may just seem like a nice cute trap, but let's not gloss over the fact that the guy is an archon.

So, if he was pissed it probably not good news. But Jean was oblivious to Venti's presence, and saw that Aether was making a weird expression.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jean wondered.

"Ahem, me and my BOYFRIEND are on our way to save the damn city, so if you don't mind can you let go of him?" Venti said, each word dripping with venom enough to kill a big ass wolf (which also just happens to be a weekly boss (I'm coming for you Lupus Boreas))

"Ara~ Ara~ It seems you guys are fighting over something" Lisa said walking into the square (circle). But then she saw how Jean was coiled around Aether, um- motorboating him, she gave up the pretense of being the onee-san type.

(K: I swear to you, STOP ACTING ALL MODEST AND CUTE. I know what a lustful demon you are, if you keep doing this, I'm gonna put your dick in a meat grinder.

A: …. That would hurt)

And so, the race was on. They knew, if they wanted to keep Aether for themselves, they were gonna have to defeat Dvalin. And, so Aether, Venti, Jean, and Lisa, set out to Stormterror's lair to woo Aether (and also save mondstadt, but who cares about that.)

(A: Also, two things I'd like to address right now:

1. Where the fuck is Diluc?

Ans. He is an emo boy. He killed himself in the bathroom with Xiao, so you probably won't be seeing them in this fanfic. (Unless I decide to revive them or some shit. I don't know.)

2. How the fuck did Lisa and Jean figure out what Aether and Venti were planning on doing?

Ans. You are asking too many questions. Creative license, I guess.)

Anyway, when they reached the lair, they had to climb to the top of the tower, and Jean and Lisa being the fantastic physical specimen they were, reached the top in no time, and Aether probably would have zoomed past like fucking sonic, if he did not have luggage on him.

Venti's physical condition was, for the lack of a better term, shit.

One floor in and he was pooped. Lisa and Jean just recommended throwing him in the void in the center of the tower, but Aether was smarter than that. Venti may seem like a femboy twat, but in reality, he was their trump card.

So, Aether picked up Venti in a piggyback ride and carried him all the way up, because nothing can stop him.

Jean and Lisa kept lamenting about being in good physical shape, which is hardly a thing to lament about, until you realise that a piggy back ride from someone you love, is probably as romantic as it gets (in my stupid smol brain)

However, the party was in for a surprise. Their entire plan depended on Dvalin sleeping on top of the tower, so that they could kill the Abyss mage influencing it.

But finding the top floor clear, they were astounded.

"This isn't right. She usually comes to rest here at this time." Venti said, thinking.

Aether dropped him.

"Wait, Dvalin is a girl?" Aether asked, finding his mind fixated on this trivial piece of information.

"Can you stop dropping me on my ass?" Venti complained, rubbing his ass. "And yes, Dvalin is female."

(K: Oh No….

A: OH, YEAHH BABY! Cue the abduction.

K: The fucking what ?!)

Suddenly, they heard the sound of flapping wings. Everyone drew their weapons and got ready for a fight. However, no one had eyes on the threat.

They thought she was a threat, but in reality Dvalin was just a slightly yandere dragon girl, who wanted to be with her senpai.

So, in human form before anyone knew what happened she had already picked up Aether like you would hold a kitty-cat, and started descending.

Aether was exceptionally quick witted, so he understood up to a certain degree what was happening. Dvalin had descended in her human form and scooped him up to carry him deeper into her lair, probably to eat him.

"Let me go, I will never be taken prisoner." Aether started shouting, flailing around.

"Jeez, if you keep moving around like that you will fall you know." Dvalin replied.

Aether looked down and found himself staring into the eyes of the void as the void stared back.

"Actually, could you hold me a bit tighter?" Aether said, mellowed out, and then proceeded to pass out.

When he came back to life (WAKE ME UP!) he found himself in what was supposedly a cave, he tried moving but could not do so, since he was covered with heavy jewels and gold artifacts.

But when he looked up, he was reminded of the threat (?) that hung over him.

Almost blending in the darkness, not more than five inches from his face, on top of him was the dragon known as Dvalin staring at him with glazed eyes and a weird grin on her face.

"Ah." Aether exclaimed.

(K: How is that supposed to be an exclamation?)

Dvalin recoiled seemingly waking from her trance-like state.

"I-I'm sorry! Did I scare you, Darling, I didn't mean to." She said apologetically, on the verge of tears.

"Darling? Is she talking to me? Doesn't she want to eat me?" Aether thought.

But, Aether's big brother instincts kicked in, (since he was a big brother) and felt the need to comfort this girl (dominic from fast and furious would be proud) He could not bear to see another person with tears in their eyes, so he reached over to the crying girl, and wrapped him arms around her (which was hard with her wings in the way.)

…. AND GAVE HER A MASSIVE SUPLEX CAUSE HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA! (Music plays loudly in the background)

(A: No?

K: No.)

Alright, we gotta change the scenario bois, Kami-chan loves being a killjoy.

So, he wrapped his arms around her and have her a hug, which seemed to bring a drastic change in her mood. She instantly cheered up and hugged him back with a smile on his face.

"You're so kind, Darling. This is why I love you so, so much." She said happily.

Now that Aether's Dvalin consolation mission was over, he focused on gathering intel.

"Um, so where am I?" Aether asked.

"You are in our new home, darling. Here, we will live together as husband and wife, and I will try to fulfil all of your need in exchange of you promising to fulfil mine." Dvalin said, her turquoise eyes shining.

This was moving too mad for Aether to keep up with so he gave up and died.

(K: Can you stop killing characters for 2 FUCKING MINUTES!?

A: I can't help it. I have cancer.

K: Don't you mean you are a cancer.

A: Yeah whatever. Who cares about zodiac anyway? (I'm talking about you Ms. Sally from the Valley.))

Re:zero type shit. Aether resurrection-02, Initiate.

Aight so Aether is back and he did not like what was going on.

Why did she keep calling him Darling? What the fuck was going on with her? Doesn't she want to destroy all of Mondstadt? Why the hell is she so damn cute?

Aether decided he had to leave this place and return to his friends.

"So, where is the exit?" Aether questioned.

As soon as those words fell on Dvalin's ears, her demeanor changed in an instant. Her eyes lost that beautiful glimmer and her wings changed colour (I know you americans spell it as color, but I identify as Bri'ish)

"Leave? You are really fond of joking, aren't you darling?" She said, her voice taking on a menacing tone.

"W-what are you talking about? I'm not joking. I need to get back to my friends."

Suddenly Aether found himself incapacitated. He saw that Dvalin had jumped on him and was holding him down with her body.

"No. Darling, I won't let you leave. I am yours. You are mine. We don't need anything else. Do you realise how much self-restraint it took to stop myself from destroying mondstadt, when I found out you chose that damn archon over me. I considered him close to a brother and he stole my love from me." Dvalin said. "It took a lot to get you here and I'm never going to let you go. Ever."

"I still remember the first time I met you. You were fishing without a care in the world, looking so gentle and loving. I wanted to approach you, but I was shy about what you'd think of me on account of my wings. So, at first a consulted Barbatos, but suddenly you turned up out of nowhere and I ran away." She explained, giving him some information about the recent happenings.

"But then the abyss mage came along. She said that if I did not make my presence known to you, I was gonna get pushed to the side, and you wouldn't care about me. So, I started messing around with Mondstadt in hopes of getting you to notice me. But then I overheard some people talking about you and how you feel that I should stop destroying cities and causing havoc. Then I realize that abyss bitch had lied to me. So, naturally I Killed her and acted on my own instincts. And it worked out so well in the end, didn't it? I have you here with and we can spend the entirety of our lives together getting to know each other better along the way." She said, almost breaking into tears.

Aether understood her sentiment. She was in love with him (for some reason) and did not know what to do with her feelings and acted desperately.

However, he was worried about his friends so he had to get back. He pushed her off of him careful not to touch any parts (oh did I mention she was naked)

"I know you don't want to harm me. So, I will just escape and you can't stop me." Aether said, taking advantage of his position.

"You're right. I can't possibly bring myself to harm you. So, I'll just kill all of your friends and erase your town so you have nowhere to go to but me." Dvalin said, already formulating a new plan, now that her old one was thwarted.

Aether was caught in a checkmate with a simple sentence.

"In fact, as a punishment for your preposterous behavior, I ought to do it anyway, Darling." Dvalin said, flipping the tables.

"But, my love for you knows no bounds, so I will be willing to let this instance slide, if we can make a deal."

"W-What deal?" Aether asked.

"You have to agree to be my husband forever and in exchange I will allow you to return to your normal life, with certain restrictions of course." Dvalin said, after observing how spooked he was. She probably didn't make a good impression on him but she wanted her love to be returned and love could not be forced. So, as much as she hated it, she had to make some concessions.

Aether didn't see any good way out of it so he had to accept this deal.

"YAY!" She said reverting back to her former self, and jumping on top of Aether to wrap him in a hug.

"Now, let's begin the process of truly becoming one." She said, in a flirtatious tone.

"Wha-" Aether started but was cut off by Dvalin's warm lips pressed against his.

It Is what it is.

She started slowly removing his clothes all the while making out with him.

Aether understood what was happening and decided to play along with it.

He started playing with her boobs, making her moan from pleasure. He took advantage of this and shoved his tongue down her throat.

This made her even more wet than she already was, forming a small spot on his underpants which was all he had on now.

She broke the kiss and lowered her head to his crotch.

In one swift motion she took out Aether's behemoth and started sucking on the shaft, the tip of which was already leaking with pre-cum.

She started bobbing her head up and down, while swirling the head with her tongue. While this was her first time, she had fantasized about it a lot, so naturally, she was quite good at it.

She started going faster and faster until her lips were touching the base of the shaft, deepthroating him.

She felt his dick twitching in her throat and decided to stop. She removed the shaft from her mouth a trail of saliva hanging from it, and upon seeing the look of disdain on Aether's face said

"Well as much as I would love to taste your seed, I can't waste it, if it can be used to knock me up."

She then positioned her slopping wet entrance over on Aether's massive dick and in one swift motion took all of him inside.

She fell on top of Aether from the amount of pain and pleasure (mostly pleasure) it caused her to fall on top of Aether.

Aether was concerned but she quickly recovered and her hips started moving up and down on her own, her body making involuntary actions due to pleasure.

She had touched herself many times in the past but it was never as pleasurable as this.

Aether too was bucking his hips up periodically, helping Dvalin, who was riding him in cowgirl postion reach even deeper.

It seemed to him that Dvalin's body was made for pleasuring him. All of his spots were being accurately stimulated by her warm vagina.

She started accelerating, as her pleasure started mounting.

She felt Aether's cock throbbing inside her.

"D-Dvalin, I'm coming." Aether said, warning her.

"You're gonna do it inside whether you like it or not."

Aether could not hold it in any more and shot ropes after ropes of cum inside her, sending Dvalin into spirals of pleasure and causing her to climax.

He pulled out and the excess hot gooey cum dripped out her vagina.

She plopped down next to him, hugged him from the side and fell asleep beside him.

Aight come back.

"Author-san, Author-san" Aether said.

"Yes, Yes, I am Author-san." Author-san said.

"Won't she get pregnant? I'm not ready to be a father yet." Aether said.

"…"

"YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASS, SHE IS JUST A LIZARD WHO LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN. YOUR DNA IS DIFFERENT HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT TO GET HER PREGNANT?!"

(A: Kami-Chan You there?

A: Oh no, she fell asleep.)

(A: Wait hold on, so whose gonna hold the Author-kun and Kami-Chan podcast?"

N: Well, allow me to introduce myself. I'm your beloved creation Nekron.

A: I physically cringe at the fact that you exist. Beloved is the last thing I would use to describe you. Whatever let's just get on with it.

The Author-Kun and Kami-Chan (?) Podcast Ep. 4

N: So, Aether-Kun, are you happy with yourself that you duped the readers into thinking this was gonna be a Jean chapter?

A: I mean I did put a question mark in the chapter title, plus they got Dvalin lewded, so that's a W.

N: Also, Kami-chan seems to have disappeared midway in the story. Could you explain the reason behind it?

A: I don't know. She may or may not have died due to overexposure to the cringe this fanfic emits.

N: Do you think giving her a kiss would revive her?

A: …You're fired.