Part Six – Her Love.
It was hot, inexplicably so. Rose's pure white wedding gown hung from her slender shoulders, glowing beneath the hot sun and making her appear to be an angel of some kind. If her whole body had been trembling before as she stood in the altar waiting to become a wife, then now, she was absolutely shattering apart into absolutely millions of pieces. What had happened? It was mesmerising to think of. To recall. Almost like a dream in the furthest corner of her mind which was dreamt some time ago and still within the roots of her soul.
Beside her, the clattering of boots sounded across the gravelled concrete, bringing her back to the time. To the now. To her future.
''This is crazy.''
He was truly there.
Jack Dawson.
Together, they had ruined her reputation. Banished her from society and lied to the entire world by foiling an undiscussed lie of her, somehow, having lain with Jack. Whilst it wasn't true, it would have been the only true way to ensure that she was away from Cal all together, from the clutches of her mother, or another husband, to foil her virginal state-or lie of it.
''I know, it makes no sense.'' Rose agreed, slowing her pace but then, whispered additionally, unsure if he could even hear, "perhaps that's why I trust it."
The chatters of society sounded, bounding down the exit steps of the grand church like a waterfall of lava spewing out hot, vile ashes of words about the young woman who they had just witnessed jilt her fiancé. Rose wished to laugh, to awaken herself from a dream which must be the reason that she was now half way down the path to nowhere with a man that she hardly know. Then, he clasped onto her hand, pulling her off the path and sending her stomach into large spirals.
It was as though, by taking the inevitable route away from the church, down the wide pathed steps and out onto the open road, it would be the right way; a notion that many would have followed, but somehow, she was pulled towards the side of the wide building, following the grey brick around to the bushy area of the resting place for hundreds of people. Gravestones popped up all over, as far as the eye could see and at the very, very bottom, a path led down to what appeared to be a gate.
''Rose!'' Her mother's shrill voice called through the crowds as though she was searching for a lost dog. "Rose, where are you?"
Rose quickly grabbed Jack's shirt and pulled him to the pillar in between the large, bright-coloured windows of the church. A shadow walked past the window indoors and she pressed her finger to his lips to quieten. They fell silent right away as heavy clogged feet could be heard walking and then disappeared toward the distance. She giggled almost silently and she fell against his body, sagging with relief when it was clear they were out of prying eyes and hidden away in an area shaded by the size of the church.
''Imagine been caught in a shaded corner with a man who isn't your husband, huh?'''
''Shh.'' Rose placed her finger to his lips once again to silence him, his voice echoing about the secluded spot.
"We have already disgraced society enough today. You always seem to linger in the darkened areas, don't you?"
Rose pressed her finger to his lip again, more firmly, feeling the soft skin beneath.
"And you always seem to be there waiting for me."
Smiling beneath her finger, he kissed it before quickly removing it with his hand and finding her lips in the warmth, he took her mouth so unexpectedly that it stole her breath away. Holding her tightly to him, with one hand at her waist, she extended her arm and pressed it against the cooler wall. From the electric charge between them, it made his hair stand up on end and the red-hot day suddenly felt scalding. The profound pull which existed was immense, threads of fire burned down her spine as their lips moved; slanting and twisting just for a few moments but enough to start a great fire. It was everything. She glanced to him and gave him a small smile, almost shyly. He stepped towards her not exactly knowing why, just feeling he had to be close to her. She was so angelic, and he couldn't even begin to explain the feelings which floated around his head. How could anyone not love her? How could she have been so submerged into deep unhappiness for so long? He tried to not look at her skin, how beautifully translucent it was, how there was the faint, odd tracks of her tears; glimpses of her unhappiness, of the misery which she had endured in those few moments leading up to the actual ceremony.
Rose lowered her lashes before their eyes met and interlocked and silence fell upon them for several seconds, both of them feeling their heart pound. Suddenly, Jack could take no more; he had to kiss her, and be close to her. He pulled her body towards his and their lips met. It was soft but so full of passion. Rose's hand flew to her stomach as she placed her other around his waist.
Had it been pent up since that first night she had seen him smoke a cigarette? She held onto his body as tightly as she could. His lips parted and melted against hers as though it was something they were meant to do. His mouth left hers and trailed down her jaw to the side of her neck, first her left side and then to the right as he made his way across her throat. He pressed her against the wall and kissed her again, she ran her fingers through his hair, feeling her hands tremble. She could feel cold shivers running down her back as he kissed her neck before slowing the kiss down as they caught their breathes. Rose turned her head a little and looked at him with concerned eyes. He saw her innocence, her eyes burning with something which he had never seen before.
To take a breath, Rose ceased the heat for a second and the words came stammering out of her mouth. ''We-we have sinned.''
''Yes, we sinned by lying in a church in front of God and Lord knows how many people.'' The smirk of his lips, the slant of his face was beyond beautiful and due to the intensity of the entire day, tears formed, then fell.
Jack leaned forward and kissed her just once on her lips, still catching his breath. Rose looked downwards, feeling her heart ache, as the small droplet's fell onto his fingers as he swept them away to erase any misery which may have still lingered about. It wasn't anything other than the adrenaline dying down, reality seeping in and the fact that her first kiss had been beyond beautiful, and if Jack was anything the man, she had desired him to be in her mind, then she had falling stupidly in love with an entity of an unknown. Jack lifted her chin with his index finger. ''Do you really believe that you are a sinner?"
With a shaky breath, she spoke. "No, I just fail to understand. I-I—We...'' Failing to collect her thoughts, she glanced to Jack, as though there would be a raw clarity right there within his eyes as there always was. This wasn't like one of those meetings, in a darkened corridor, or under the freezing cold moonlight. This was them, together, in each other's grasp, with perhaps the freedom to exist as true lovers did. His mouth had been on hers, his tongue caressing her own. It was as though that alone had staked claim on her and she could never wish to even contemplate belonging to another, even though she didn't even belong to Jack.
"Months ago, I asked what you wanted and you told me that even if you wished for it, then it could never come true. You asked me to tell you what I believed that you wanted—"
"And you told me that I desired a passionate love, all consuming."
"Yeah, and now?"
Jack's intense face just inches from her own was the only thing which kept her from collapsing into a heap of exhausted and melancholy cries. He stepped back, which allowed her a moment to think. They had become carried away in the moment, the build-up...the intensity. ''I don't know.''
''Rose, I want what is best for you.'' He leant his hand against the wall, he needed some support. The events of the morning were so much to take in.
She still pressed her chest against him, not ready to part ways or feel the cold once more. He made her feel alive. Solid. As though been near to him was her saviour.
''I'm sorry, I have just never experienced this and it was heightened from the-''
Jack touched her face with his right hand. She leant against his palm, resisting the urge to kiss him again. She ran her left index finger up and down his spine, he felt the tingles and awoken senses which had been dead for years.
''Rose-I-'' He struggled to find the words which he needed to. ''I would find it hard to just leave you now. To never know where you went. I can't just leave now after everything. You jump, I jump, remember?''
Slowly, she came towards him and leaned forward to kiss him. Both felt the spark between them, as she grew more passionate, or as much as she could with a limited experience. Jack became lost in her, touching face, then her hair as though the power which she had over him was immense. He had made her feel like a woman for the first time; made her feel cherished and wanted. Made her encounter glimpses of the passion which he had so described that night. Was that his meaning, even then, for him to be the one in receipt of her love?
''When you said those things to me, of what I wanted...''
''Rose…'' Jack whispered. "You deserve the chance to love. That was what I meant. To have the freedom to do that."
''I don't want you to leave, I—I have come to care, to think of you, perhaps more frequently than an engaged woman should have."
" I just want to keep you safe.''
Rose absorbed his words, startled to think that the lush languidness she felt might be obvious to others. She studied Jack for signs of change. For a sign, that he too, was as bewitched as she. Wide, blue eyes startling close watched how her own iris's dilated at him.
''I have nothing to offer you, you know that.''
An odd sort of delight bubbled within her. Like champagne, it made her slightly giddy. ''I'm not as confident in my ability, either. Most people find me aloof, quiet. I am proficient with the pianoforte, I am a terrible singer, dancing bores me to tears-''
Jack laughed, leaning forward so that their faces were a mere inch or so apart. It stole the breath from her. ''I don't care.''
Jack smiled, beautifully, cocking his head to the left as he examined her worry. ''All these months I watched you, even when you didn't know that I was so close to you and I just knew something was wrong. I saw the sadness in your eyes, how you never smiled and how you sought out balconies and open spaces just to breath.''
''I was always looking for you, since that first time out in the gardens.'' She laughed, the heat penetrating through her dress and her sweat soaking into her loose curls. There was something unbinding about it though. About having limited care of one's vanity. About how he still wished to stand with her, regardless of anything now. It was—overwhelming.
''I tried to see you, once or twice but there was always that penguin about.''
Rose laughed. ''Or his manservant.''
''How did you find out that I was here? That I didn't love him, or want him. How did you know that I was looking for you, endlessly?''
''I didn't. I realised that I already knew. I walked into that church with full intentions of walking out with you, so long as you were the one to come to terms with the idea that I couldn't save you. That was up to you.''
''I see that, now.''
Rose's trembling hands came up his shirt, to his open collar, his cheeks and felt the softness of him there. It was as though she was checking that he was real. After all of this time, she had never so much as had the chance to take in his heavenly features so close. Thinking back to when she had ceased the vows, of what she had told the entire church, suddenly made her cheeks flush and she gazed at the dirt beneath her stocking feet. ''What I told them, it was foolish really, but it was the only way I could even comprehend that, well, I knew he wouldn't want me, or look at me the way that he did, if he knew that I had laid with, well...'' Struggling through discussing such intimacies, Jack could only smile.
''He thinks that you have sinned. The whole world thinks so. Do you think I care about that horse shit?''
''I ruined your reputation.''
''Rose, I don't have one. I have nothing but thirty-eight bucks in my pocket, a change of clothes and a portfolio of drawings that aren't worth a damn but it keeps me busy.'' Rose examined his face; the sincerity there within it. ''All I need to know, is, if I get us on the next train out of this city, would that make you happy?''
''Where would we go?''
''I know where. Its if you trust me?''
''Yes, I did from the first time I met you.''
''You're always in a darkened corner. Always in a gilded cage. Always seeking for the freedom, for the shade. Its time that you came into the light.''
The physical response Rose had to his words was so violent, it took her by surprise. Tilting his head, he lowered his mouth to hers. The approach was slow and without force. She stumbled back, panting because she couldn't breathe because he was so close. He watched as she retreated, nearly beyond arms reach when he caught her back. His lips sealed over hers with a boldness that stole what was left of her air. She sagged into him, unable to comprehend the ardour with which he kissed her. His body was hard, tall and protective. Of her.
Where could she touch him? His hands at her nape following the length of her arms down to her wrist. He circled it, then lifted her hand to his chest. Between his shirt, he urged her palm to splay over his heart. His skin burned through the layers of clothing between them. His heart beat with the same recklessness as hers. Her other hand clenched the hem of his collar as she whimpered, overwhelmed from the intensity. The press of his lips softened and his grip slackened enough to allow her lungs to expand. Teasing rather than taking, he licked at the lower curve of her lip, goading him to taste her back. She did tremble, uncertain.
The clock on the church began to chime on the hour, but Rose was so lost to the time. To everything about her. Her hand moved across Jack's torso, feeling the muscles tense beneath her touch. A sound escaped her. He stopped his kiss, pulling away slowly.
''Rose,'' his voice was a hoarse whisper. ''Will you come with me?''
He felt her nod in the space he had created for her within his arms. The shade provided little protection from the heat and his face stuck to hers as they clung to the other in a way that was almost obsessive but nothing mattered.
"I will go with you."
The scent of him. The sound of his heartbeat. The rhythm of his breathing. It was all so new to her. The intimacies which they had created in the mere time in which they had been acquainted was electric. Pressing a kiss to the parting of his shirt, she felt him react to her touch.
"Do you think the vultures have gone off yet to spread their gossips?"
"They will be about. My mother will be at the house where she would remain in hiding due to the shame I have brought and as for Cal, given a few weeks to lick his wounds, he will be on the look for another wife."
''So soon?'' Jack laughed, quietly, clutching her clinging hands. ''How painful it must be to know that you are so replaceable.''
''He needs to marry, to inherit his millions and to create his heir. That was required within a year of marriage.''
Exhaling slowly, Jack caught her mouth again, just once, as though just a few seconds without tasting her was difficult, and she let him, relishing the delicate softness in which he approached and just how easily she succumbed to him.
''What did you want? Whilst he was commanding all of this from you?''
Rose could barely even recall, aside from one true thing. ''You.'' Lowering her lashes, to where their fingers were entwined like true lovers, she continued, ''I was under an illusion that, you represented this whole other world, a world which could never be available to me but still, I wished for it. For a simple life, a humble home and easy employment. I even imagined us to be out by the seas, someplace breath-taking and serene, but it was cold and the water choppy but that didn't matter because I would have you with me, just as you were that night in the woods.''
''That night, when you went back into the house, I stood there, for about an hour, just thinking of you. I circulated at the party, serving champagne for the arrogant bastards and when he proposed, I saw you them, truly, for the first time.''
''How could you have been aware?''
''Your face.'' He trailed his fingers down to her chin. ''Your eyes.'' Gazing down, his own eyes didn't leave hers. ''I could feel your stomach sink and your heart pound because it matched mine.''
The air suddenly went. Her lips were dry. It was still. All aside from the watch of those blue eyes which continued to read every facet of her.
''I made a promise to myself in that moment to never let you go.''
It was there, beside the church in which she had almost married another man, that Rose was suddenly stupidly aware of her feelings. Of everything. She had fallen in love.