Remus didn't often draw. He loved creating art, but drawing was far too simple. He couldn't really accidentally make a mess on himself like he could with paints or even charcoal. He couldn't use colors to make the gory details really pop. And, worst of all, drawing with a pencil made it far too easy to erase the work when a mistake was made. Remus liked the challenge of every mark and motion he made being permanent, and he had to work around the mistake instead of getting rid of it.
Janus knew how Remus felt about drawing. That was probably at least part of the reason why he had told Remus to draw. Janus liked to push Remus' limits when they played their games. He seemed to find pleasure in seeing Remus restrain himself in a safe, controlled environment.
Remus liked it when Janus was happy with him. He liked to play these games, because he loved to see the darker, more sadistic side of the others. He also adored the attention. Remus was barely ever paid attention to, let alone in a positive way. It was a nice change to have somebody's undivided attention.
So Remus drew in silence. It was a little bit boring, as Remus usually liked to do art while watching a movie or blasting music, but Janus was sleeping, and the whole reason why Remus was drawing in the first place was because he had asked him to. He wanted to make Janus happy, and he definitely wouldn't be if Remus woke him up in the middle of his nap. So working in silence it was.
When everything was quiet, that was when Remus' mind worked even harder. His thoughts would move around so fast that it was hard to catch one of them while it was there. Remus had so many ideas of what he could draw, but by the time he settled on an idea and started drawing it he thought of something else that he wanted to draw. His drawing was a chaotic mess, and it was impossible to tell just what he was looking at. And it wasn't even the kind of chaos that Remus enjoyed. It just looked bad.
Remus frowned and tilted his head at the drawing. It looked like random scribbles, like something that an overly enthusiastic child might draw. Remus could barely identify the dragon, the murder scene, or the zombie that he'd drawn. His portrayal of hell, half-finished picture of Thomas with an ax embedded in his crotch, and what he imagined it would look like if plants reproduced the way that animals do, all of those drawings were completely buried by his scribbles and impossible to make out.
Remus scowled and tightened his grip on his pentil. It wasn't fair. He'd been so excited about those ideas, and now he couldn't see them in their explicit and beautiful glory. What was the point of having all of these wonderful ideas if they went away too fast for him to do anything with them? He knew he could always bring these ideas to life in the Imagination later, but it just wouldn't be the same, and it was absolutely infuriating.
Remus wanted to scream and rage. He wanted to burn his sketchbook and stab the pencil into his eye. But he couldn't. Janus told him to be quiet, and as they were still playing, and would be until Janus woke up, Remus had to do as he said. He had to follow Janus' rules.
But he didn't want to anymore. This wasn't fun.
Remus growled to himself and threw the sketchbook. At first he wanted to throw it at Janus' heating lamp, making it shatter and rain glass all over Janus, but he switched his aim at the last second and threw it at the door instead. He may not want to follow the rules anymore, but that didn't mean that he wanted to hurt Janus or make him mad at him.
Remus stomped his feet harshly on the ground. At least, he tried to do it harshly, but the ballet boots were in such an odd shape that it was really hard to stomp with them. Stupid graceful ballet boots. The only way he could stomp with these was if he jumped while wearing them and put all of his weight behind the stomp.
Remus smirked to himself and stood up on the chair. He wobbled a lot and would probably ose his balance sooner rather than later, but Remus wouldn't give himself time to do that. He leapt off the chair, trying to fly, but he underestimated the height of Janus' ceiling. Remus hit his head really hard. Dazed, he lost his concentration and didn't hit the ground quite as he wanted to.
Remus landed on both feet, but one of them buckled. There was a loud snap as the heel of one of Remus' boots broke. Trying to find his balance, Remus twisted both of his feet around in a way that they definitely didn't want to go. He lost his balance and crashed to the ground.
While, it wasn't quite the loud stomp he'd been looking for, but it was close enough.
Remus groaned and folded in on himself. Everything ached, but it didn't hurt quite enough to make it feel nice. It was just annoying. Remus' ankles actually were hurting, and the boots made it impossible for him to adjust his feet to put them in a more relaxing position. Remus frowned and grief to take his boots out, but they were too tight. He had no idea how these boots worked, and his gloved hands made it impossible to get a good grip on the laces.
Remus whipped his gloves off and tossed them to the side. He hoped that this would make it easier to get his gloves off, but it didn't do him any good. Remus struggled for a long minute before he growled in frustration and kicked his feet.
Remus knew that he could get the shoes off easily enough if he just summoned himself a dagger. He could just cut away the boots, but he really didn't want to do that. Remus may be frustrated with the boots now, but he really did like them, and it would be a shame to get rid of them just because he couldn't control himself for a few more minutes.
The only thing Remus could do was wait for somebody else to help him with the boots, and he hated trying to be patient. He briefly considered saying his safeword to get Virgil's attention. Then not only would he be able to get his shoes off, but he'd also have a companion to distract him from his loud thoughts. It didn't take Remus long to decide that he didn't want to take his chances to try to ask for Virgil.
What if the anxious side didn't show up? Remus knew that Virgil didn't really like him very much. What if he didn't want anything to do with Remus, so he ignored the call? Not only would Remus still be alone, but he would have confirmation that his old friend hated him and wanted to leave him to suffer. Remus knew that it was a possibility, but this was one thing that he didn't think he wanted to know for sure. He would rather be able to pretend.
Remus supposed he could wake Janus, and he really wanted to, but something held him back. Janus had said that he could wake him if Virgil didn't show up, but Remus didn't think it counted if he didn't ask Virgil to come at all. Janus would be annoyed if he was woken up, and for the most part Remus would just be amused by that, but there was a small part of him that was afraid of this reaction. The part of him that came out when he wore his collar, and had his ears and tails. It especially came out when he wore his Service Puppy harness.
It was the part of him that was eager to prove that he was good enough, even if it meant doing things that he didn't want to do.
Remus growled to himself and brought the leash to his mouth to gnaw at it. He knew he wouldn't be able to break it, because Janus knew how to make things durable, but he needed to at least put up a fight. He wasn't just some well-behaved dog who would lie down and roll over, submitting himself to anybody who gave him a command.
Remus was nobody's pet, and he felt the need to remind himself of that fact, even if he upset Janus in the process.
As Remus chewed viciously on the leash he could feel his tail thumping harshly against the ground. He didn't think he liked that thing anymore, which was a disappointment and a shame. Remus loved having additional limbs and body parts, just because of the way they horrified people, even if they were the most small and innocent of additions. Remus didn't want to resent his tail, but right now he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he only had it because Janus had allowed it. It was just a reminder of the control that Janus had over him.
Remus clenched his jaw and began to pull sharply on his ears, trying to tug them right off his head. The pull hurt, which only infuriated Remus more, giving him reason to pull harder. He wanted these things gone.
"...Remus?" He froze when he heard Janus' tired voice. Remus felt a little bad for having woken him, but not bad enough to stop or apologize.
"Get them off." Remus said stiffly. "Get them off, get them off, get them off, get them off!"
Janus' eyes widened. He quickly hopped off the bed and rushed to Remus' side. Janus took his hands and pulled them away from his ears.
"Hang on, Mus." Janus hissed. He summoned his other hands and pulled the leash out of Remus' mouth, ignoring the way that Remus tried to bite at him. "I'll take care of it all, but I need you to behave yourself for just another minute."
"No!" Remus screamed. He kicked, and scratched, and knocked his head back. He heard Janus grunt in pain, and he took great pleasure in that. He didn't know where he'd hit Janus, or how, but at least he'd done something.
"Enough." Janus used four of his hands to pin Remus down while he snapped with his remaining two hands. Remus immediately felt the disappearance of not just his ears and tail, but also the boots, the harness, and even the skirt. In an instant Remus wasn't a Service Puppy anymore, he was just Remus, wearing nothing but a scratchy pair of tight jeans.
Remus sighed and immediately stopped resisting Janus' hold. He laid back on the ground. Janus sat down on the chair as he stared at Remus curiously.
"What happened?" Janus asked.
"Too much and nothing at all." Remus groaned. He rolled over so he was on his stomach. "It didn't feel fun anymore."
Janus frowned slightly. "Did you call for Virgil like I asked you to?"
Remus fidgeted uncomfortably. He'd wanted to stop being a puppy, and yet here he was, feeling bad because he didn't want to be scolded by his Master. "No."
"Why not?" Janus asked simply. There was no judgement in his tone. He also didn't sound very patronizing, which helped Remus relax ever so slightly. Janus wasn't using his Master tone, he was just talking to Remus as a peer.
"He might not have come." Remus said simply. "If Virgil hates me and doesn't want to have anything to do with me, I don't think I want to know."
Janus looked pained for a moment. "I understand the feeling." Janus sighed. "I knew that this fall was going to come sooner or later. I apologize, I shouldn't have left you alone when I knew it was only a matter of time when you finally had enough of being a sub for now."
Remus scowled and clenched his fists. "I don't want your apologies." He slammed his fists against his legs, hitting them over and over again. "I don't need to be pampered!" He could take care of himself. He wasn't going to become an emotional mess if he wasn't taken care of just right. He wasn't Roman.
Janus frowned slightly. "I never said you did, so I'm going to ask you a very important question." Janus' expression hardened slightly. "This will be the only time I ever ask this, so I don't want you to go thinking you can take advantage of it. So, Remus, you clearly need to be done playing, and this would normally be when we do aftercare, but you've never been so violently demanding to not play, so I'm willing to make an exception."
Remus' breath got caught in his throat. "You...you don't want to do aftercare?" First Sir, and now Master. Why were his doms trying to get rid of him? Had he done something wrong? Remus hated himself for even thinking about it. He shouldn't care so much about what anybody thought of him. It was why he had been so desperate to get rid of the reminders that he was a sub.
Janus looked alarmed. "Of course I want to, Remus. You know how much I care about aftercare, but if you're not in a good mindset for it right now then I'm not going to force you to go through with it. I'm not going to force you to let me take care of you when it's clear that it's the last thing you want. So if you don't want to do traditional aftercare, we'll go cause some destruction in the Imagination."
Remus blinked slowly as he processed just what Janus had said. "You won't leave me?"
There was a fire in Janus' eyes. "I would never. Especially not now. I was careless to take a nap, and it won't happen again."
Remus smiled slightly and gave a small laugh. "You're not going to sleep again? Can I hold you to that?"
Janus chuckled. "You take things even more literally than Logan does. The difference between the two of you is that you do it on purpose." He gave Remus a small smile. "So, what do you want to do? Do you want me to take care of you, or do you want to drag me on an adventure?"
Remus didn't even have to think about that one. "I'm never going to say no to an adventure. Besides, you said we could talk about using a different word for aftercare."
"That I did." Janus nodded. "Do you have any ideas?"
Remus always had ideas dancing around his head. He said the first one that came to his mind. "Probation."
Janus looked concerned, which was not the reaction that Remus had been going for. "I hope this doesn't mean that you feel trapped or imprisoned by our games, or consider them to be a punishment."
"Nope." Remus said. Janus immediately relaxed. "I just like the wore."
"Then I suppose we can give it a trial run." Janus said. "So, what kind of adventure were you going to drag me into this time?"
"Zombie apocalypse." Remus rocked back and forth. He giggled at the idea. He was having fun just thinking about it.
"It's been a while since we've played that." Janus nodded. "Would we be the sole survivors, or the only zombies?"
"Zombies." Remus said. He wanted to bite and moan and eat brains. Maybe if they played until dinner they could have a zombie picnic and munch on the remains of their victims. Oh, this was going to be so much fun! "Let's go, let's go, let's go!"
"Okay, I'm coming." Janus chuckled. He let Remus grab his hand and drag him out of the room and towards the door at the end of the hallway that led to the Imagination. Remus used to have the entrance in his own room, but after being attacked by a wereboar for the seventh time Janus had decided that it wasn't safe enough for him to have a door to the Imagination in his room where it would be all too easy for the creatures from his nightmares to sneak in while he dreamt. It was for this same reason why Remus wasn't allowed to sleep in the Imagination.
Remus' half of the Imagination was ever-changing. It reflected whatever was running through his mind at the time. Remus didn't think he'd ever seen his part of the Imagination reflect the same two things. This time it looked incredibly similar to Roman's fantasy forests and quaint villages. Remus didn't really like it, but that was the whole point. It was a lot more fun to destroy something that wasn't already broken.
Remus bounced on his heels and waved his hand to give himself the rotting flesh of a zombie. He looked over to see that Janus had done the same thing, though he somehow still kept his dignified and professional look. He resembled an old-fashioned vampire a bit more than a zombie, but Remus thought it was close enough, so he wasn't going to dock him points for creativity.
"So, how do we begin, Darling?" Janus asked. "You know I'm not as used to this game as you are."
"We find a village," Remus said. "And we tear everybody apart."
"Elaborate plan as always." Janus teased. He offered an arm to provide an escort. "Shall we?"
Remus giggled and latched onto Janus' arm. The man didn't even complain about his clean outfit getting maggots and blood all over it. The two of them slowly walked through the forest towards the village. Remus went slowly because his ankles still hurt, and because shuffling along was kinda what zombies were supposed to do. Janus probably just enjoyed the quiet stroll.
When they walked into the village the reaction was immediate. People started making the most beautiful screaming sounds as they started to run. Janus' eyes lit up. He'd always liked a nice chase.
The two of them split up. Remus switched between moving stalking slowly and dashing at the speed of lightning, whichever speed he felt like going for at the moment. Janus went at a casual pace throughout, not rushing, but definitely going faster than the stereotypical zombie would.
Remus bit and mauled every citizen he could get his hands on. Nobody was shown a moment of mercy. Men, women, children, pet, and everybody that fell somewhere in the middle all fell to his bite. He tore people's arms off with his bare hands, getting an addicting rush whenever he was able to do it.
What was the most fun though was to chomp down on someone's skull, breaking right through to their brain. The feeling of the squishy and bloody plain between his teeth was incredibly satisfying. Remus didn't think he'd ever get tired of this feeling.
The villagers tried to run away, but they were in Remus' Imagination. With just a thought he made it so every path in the forest led right back to the town. It was hilarious when the villagers would come back, tearful and terrified, only to run right into Remus' and Janus' grip.
It took them nearly two hours to devour every living thing in the village. Remus felt like he was high, though he didn't know if that was because of all the brain he'd had, or if it was his lingering adrenalin.
Remus sat on a pile of bloody corpses as he nibbled happily on a femur. Janus, blood dripping down his clothes, and yet still maintaining his image of control, came to join him.
"You always know how to show a guy a good time." Janus brushed some dust off his shoulder. He was smiling and breathing heavily. "We'll have to do this more often." Janus looked at Remus and smiled as a very familiar look came to his eyes. Remus loved that look, but right now it also made him feel just a little nervous.
"You know, this has given me a good idea." Janus leaned down, getting closer to Remus. "I think we could have some fun games in this kind of scenario." Remus fidgeted uncomfortably. Janus' gaze softened slightly. "Not today, of course, but it'll be something to look forward to." He knelt on the ground next to Remus. "Unless, of course, you don't want to. You know I'd never make you do anything that you're not comfortable with."
"That's just the thing." Remus said as he gnawed on the bone. "I've thought about it too. A lot." Janus had no idea how many times Remus had fantasized about having a zombie scene in their games. Remus would be a zombie, Janus would be a survivor who would capture Remus and use him to his advantage to better survive in a chaotic world. There were so many possibilities.
"So what's the problem?" Janus asked quietly. Remus said nothing at first. Janus scooted closer. "Come on, Cephy, talk to me."
"I-I wanted to play with Sir too." Remus said. The three of them had never played a game together at once, which was why Remus hadn't suggested it yet.
Janus gave him a sympathetic look. "Tell me what you were imagining."
"You won't like it." Remus said. Janus had never liked sharing Remus in the first place, but he especially wouldn't want to share him with Logan now.
"Tell me anyway." Janus said. "You know I'll always listen to you."
Remus didn't know if Janus actually wanted to hear him, but when he had an idea it was so hard to keep it to himself. If anybody gave even the smallest sign that they wanted to hear what he had to say, Remus would find his words spilling out before he could stop himself.
"Logan would be a scientist. A biologist." Remus said. "I would be his assistant, but I get reckless in his lab and accidentally break something, and I get infected and become a zombie. Logan would have to keep me locked up, both for the sake of humanity, and to study an actual zombie."
"And where do I come in?" Janus asked.
"You would break into the lab to try to find a secret worth selling." Remus said. Janus smirked slightly. "And you find me."
"You would be far too priceless to sell." Janus said. Remus nodded.
"You would keep me instead, to do with as you please." Remus said.
Janus smiled, looking incredibly pleased. "I'm liking this idea more and more."
Remus swallowed thickly and scratched at the femur. "What about Logan?"
Janus sighed and tilted his head back. He looked up at the sky for a long moment before he closed his eyes. "I don't like the thought of you playing with Logan anymore, but I know how much you loved playing with him, and I don't want to stop you from doing something you like just because I think I know what's best for you."
Remus sat up, feeling hopeful. "Can we do it? Really?"
"We'll see." Janus said. "I think we should avoid playing these kinds of games for at least a week, and I don't want you to see Logan at all during that time."
Remus didn't really like the thought of not being able to play for so long, but this time he had no complaints. He loved these games, but he still felt angry and antsy after being a sub for so long. Having a week off might help him to feel more up to it when they finally decided to play more. As for not seeing Logan, Remus wasn't complaining about that either. He loved doing experiments with Logan, but he didn't want to be brushed off again so soon.
"But we can do it next week?" Remus asked eagerly."
"We'll talk about it next week." Janus clarified. "I'm not making any promises about allowing Logan anywhere near you, but it might be okay if I'm there to supervise the entire time." Janus gave him a small smile. "But even if I don't let Logan play I'll still figure out how to make this zombie fantasy of yours happen. It wouldn't be perfect, but it should still be a lot of fun."
Remus' preference would be to play his zombie games with both of his doms, but he actually had a few scenarios in mind if he could do it with just one of them. They could make it work..
"I can't wait." Remus said. He shot to his feet. "Do you want to find another village to terrorize? We can even come up with a fancy plan like I know you want to. We can see if we can beat our record."
"This doesn't sound enjoyable at all." Janus smiled and allowed Remus to take his hand. "Let's see if we can beat the stereotype of zombies being nothing more than a mindless creature of no class." Remus knew that Janus would like that idea. There was very little that Janus loved more than subverting expectations, and Remus had fun with doing the unexpected as well. This was why they got along so well.
Remus made a mental note to drag Janus into doing this kind of thing more often. He loved their games, and giving Janus control, but it was nice to have the chance to play around as complete equals. There weren't many sides that saw Remus as a peer, so it was nice to have a reminder like this that he had at least one friend in the mindscape.