Hiii so I'm back to writing Everlark! I'm really excited about this ship right now, so to all my Japrils and Jecas out there - I'm sorry this isn't what you're looking for, but this is what I want to do at the moment, so thanks for understanding!
This is a tiny little idea that came into my mind as I was brainstorming our super sweet family. I recently rewatched the movies and with Jen's pregnancy announcement... all the THG feels of back in the day came SHOOTING back. And I'm so excited that they did!
This is just a one-shot; I'm getting revved up again! I'm going to try and brainstorm some multichapter ideas, so this is my way to get the gears moving!
I hope you guys will review! I'm excited to see what you think :) Be gentle with me, I haven't written Everlark for a LONG time and I'm overdue for a series reread. (Also I scoured this thing for tense/POV mixups - because I'm so used to writing first person present - so excuse any typos. I'll inevitably find them later and then wanna rip my hair out.)
Thank you for reading!
...
It wasn't Katniss's idea to visit Gale in District 2 - it was Peeta who brought it up first. In the inky darkness of their bedroom at the end of spring, Katniss nursed Reed and Peeta studied the way the moon reflected off the angle of her cheekbone - sharp like their daughter's would someday be.
Juniper, with her black hair and piercing gray eyes, was the picture of a Seam child - like Katniss, like Gale. Of course, Gale wasn't the first face that came to mind whenever Peeta set eyes on his daughter, but it did come up sometimes. The lie about him and Katniss being cousins had had merit for a reason. It was viable.
So because Juniper resembled Katniss, she shared some of Gale's characteristics, too.
Peeta didn't have any ill will towards Gale. He couldn't even remember the last time they spoke, but it was years and years ago. Maybe the last time had been during the quiet moments that they thought Katniss was sleeping; Peeta should've known that she was listening to every word they said. They had gone over those moments many times since the end of the war - why she chose him, and why she'd do it a thousand times over if given the chance.
But Gale had been her best friend. She'd been betrayed by him - betrayed in the deepest, most wounding sense. But if Gale still crossed Peeta's mind at times, he could only guess that he crossed Katniss's mind too.
"Should we take the train to 2 and visit Gale?" Peeta asked on that spring night. Startled by his voice coming suddenly in the darkness, Katniss jolted out of the sleepy rhythm she had been rocking Reed with. The baby flinched, too, but was quickly comforted.
"2?" Katniss responded. Peeta could hear confusion and a bit of distaste in her voice, though he couldn't clearly see her expression. "Gale?"
"Yeah," Peeta said, trailing his fingers through Reed's downy hair. The baby was six months old, and because his hair was so light, there wasn't much of it yet. Juniper, on the other hand, had been born with a full head of black hair - sticking up every which way. It made her parents smile as soon as they laid eyes on her, and Peeta had said that Juniper looked like Katniss did in the mornings. Their first photo together hung in the entryway, framed in gold.
"Where did this come from?"
Peeta blinked hard and reached for the glasses he wore at night. He slipped them on and studied his wife's face - it was still so surreal to think that, let alone say it - wife. He knew that novelty was silly after all this time, but it was something he enjoyed.
"Don't you wonder what he's up to? I do. I wonder if he's doing okay."
She took her time to answer, as she always did. Peeta had stopped wondering if she was ignoring him long ago; Katniss was never one to mince words. She said what she meant, and if she didn't mean it, she wouldn't say it.
"I don't know," she said, looking down at the baby as his suckling made soft clicking sounds against her chest. "I guess so. Sometimes."
"I was just thinking that… if you wanted to see him, we could."
Katniss inhaled deeply and shifted her gaze from Reed to Peeta. He tried to gauge how she was feeling - he could usually read her mind - but this time, he couldn't quite tell what was going on in her head.
Katniss watched Peeta's face for a few long moments until Reed unlatched and finished nursing. She propped the baby up on her shoulder, burped him, and rubbed his back in firm, slow circles to lull him back to sleep.
"Do you still believe it was his bomb?" Peeta asked.
They didn't talk about Prim's death often. Not because it wasn't something that either of them were free to bring up, but because there was no reason to peel back that scab when its healing would never be quite complete. The last time they'd discussed it - and even then, it wasn't in detail - was when Juniper was born.
Katniss was afraid their daughter would be a carbon copy of Prim, and Peeta understood her fears of that happening, and of that not happening. But because Juniper came out with olive skin and pitch black hair, Katniss adorned her with a middle name inspired by the aunt who would have worshiped her.
But since then, since Effie had written and asked for Juniper's full name to print in calligraphy for the nursery, they hadn't discussed Prim at length. Peeta always left it up to Katniss. It was her pain, a sector of hurt that he would never understand, and he was okay with that. They didn't have to share everything.
"No," Katniss answered - regarding the bomb. Then, she amended her statement. "Yes. I think so. I know he wasn't aiming for her, clearly he wasn't. But I do think it was his bomb."
Peeta nodded slowly, running his teeth along the inside of his lower lip. "Well, we don't have to," he said. "Just think about it."
"I will."
…
Katniss was woken up the next morning by the mattress shifting ever-so-slightly and the sweet, powdery smell of her daughter. "Hi, Momma," Juniper said, before Katniss had even opened her eyes.
"Hi, baby," Katniss said softly, feeling for Reed and then next to him, Peeta. Both were there, both breathing deeply with sleep. "Let's be quiet, because your brother and your dada aren't awake yet."
"Okay," Juniper whispered. "Milky?"
When she got pregnant, Katniss knew she wanted chubby, healthy children. Growing up, she had seen too many skinny babies in the Seam - malnourished because their mothers were, and therefore couldn't provide enough milk to keep them full. Those babies, constantly hungry, cried all day and all night.
Katniss's children, at 6 months and 25 months, both still nursed. Reed - exclusively. Juniper ate solid food, too, as she should at over 2 years old, but her diet continued to be supplemented with breastmilk. And Katniss and Peeta agreed that both children would stop when they wanted to - or when they started school. Whichever came first.
And for what it was worth, these two barely ever cried. They never went hungry. And they had thighs you couldn't wrap your hand around.
Juniper burrowed under her mother's shirt and Katniss held her close, waking up slowly with a routine she was familiar with. In a few minutes, Reed would stir and join his sister for their morning meal. Then, Peeta would open his eyes.
Before their children were born, Katniss would sleep in late and make up for the early mornings and long nights she had while growing up. Peeta would be the one who woke with the sun, baking bread and filling their house with sweetness and warmth.
When she asked, he still got up before her and woke her with those homey smells. But she liked him better lying next to her, keeping her warm and their children cocooned in the middle of their bodies. They were a family in this bed, and she liked waking up to his sleeping, peaceful face.
Juniper liked to join him when he made bread, anyway, now that she was getting older. Her little hands were growing muscles strong enough to knead dough, and Katniss had never seen Peeta so proud as the first time Juniper stood on a chair, oversized apron tied around her neck and waist, and formed a lumpy loaf of her own. He'd been so in awe of their daughter, and they'd talked about her achievement for days.
Katniss smiled now, remembering. She stroked the back of Juniper's smooth and shiny hair, and Juniper wrapped an arm around Katniss's torso. Her sleep diaper would need to be changed soon - she wasn't yet potty-trained for nighttime - but it could wait. For now, Katniss could continue to lie here in the silence and think about what Peeta had said the night before.
She considered what it would be like, going to visit Gale. She had no idea how he lived now. She was sure he'd want to see her - but she wasn't clear on how he'd feel about her children. She knew he was resentful of Peeta in a sort of respectful way. A way she had a hard time understanding. She wouldn't go anywhere without Juniper and Reed, or Peeta for that matter, and she wondered if showing up as a family would rub her chosen reality in his face.
She never second-guessed her choice and didn't doubt it for a second. Living with Peeta was easy, easier than anything she'd ever done, and she was comfortable. She loved him, and he loved her, and they loved their children fiercely. She would never trade it. So, what was it worth going to see Gale - who, in an alternate universe, she would have lived a gray version of this yellow life with?
He had been her best friend at one point, her confidant whom she trusted with everything. He hadn't been that for years, but he'd been a steadfast presence for such a long time. That did count for something. Gale had cared for the Everdeen family, too, not just her alone. That counted for something as well.
She wasn't crawling out of her skin to see him, but maybe it would provide closure. She wasn't exactly aware that she'd been hunting for such a thing, but now that the topic had been brought up, it was like an itch that she couldn't quite reach. Maybe seeing him would soothe that feeling.
…
"Don't wanna go big train, Momma."
It was the morning they were set to leave, and Juniper was dragging her feet. Katniss and Peeta had both tried to play up the visit to District 2 in the most exciting manner that they could, but Juniper was not sold. She didn't fall for tricks and gimmicks, no matter how high the voice or how shiny the rewards might be. She was just like her mother.
"Why not, Juni?" Peeta asked.
Instead of forcing her along and telling her that she'll undoubtedly have fun, Peeta listened. Of course, he would always listen.
Juniper looked up at her father with wide, flint-colored eyes. When she blinked, a tear fell from each one. "I wanna stay home," she said.
Peeta already had Reed strapped to the carrier on his chest, so Katniss picked Juniper up and rested the toddler on her hip. "You don't want to stay here all alone," she whispered, petting her daughter's hair. "Wouldn't you be lonely?"
"No," Juniper answered. "I stay with Uncle Yaya."
No one knew how Juniper coined the name 'Yaya' for Haymitch, but ever since it came out of her mouth a year ago, it stuck. Haymitch now responded to it quicker than his birth name.
"Well, I want you with us," Katniss said, hugging Juniper close. "I would miss you too much if you stayed home with Yaya."
"Train is big," Juniper said, slipping her thumb into her mouth. She dropped her head to Katniss's shoulder and tears kept rolling silently down her cheeks.
"The train is very big," Katniss said.
"Go too, too fast."
"It goes fast so we can get to where we're going quicker," Peeta said, attempting to cheer up his little girl. "It goes so fast, it barely even feels like we're moving."
Juniper turned her head and hid her face in Katniss's hair, saying, "No."
When they left the house, though, Katniss carried Juniper out without a fight, and Reed was halfway to dozing on Peeta's chest. They walked to the train station without hurry, only two bags with them - it would be a short trip, so there wasn't a need for much more.
Gale had been surprised when Peeta called. And Peeta had done it; he had picked up the phone and asked to visit, not Katniss. For some reason, she didn't want to hear her old friend's voice like that, tinny and transmitted over hundreds of miles. If she was going to hear it, she would hear it in person.
She still wasn't even sure she wanted to go. Not fully. She wondered what sorts of memories would be triggered by seeing Gale's face - good or bad? She was much more stable than she had once been, but she still wasn't sure how she'd handle the onslaught of feelings that would inevitably come with remembering those years.
Katniss did want Gale to meet her and Peeta's children. They were her proudest accomplishments, the best things she'd ever create. Everyone in 12 had gotten to know Juniper and Reed as if they were the town's children - and that did make Katniss happy, but she also wanted her babies to know that there was a life outside of their home district. Maybe not a life that they'd venture to often, but one that existed all the same.
…
The train platform was busier than Katniss had ever seen it. She clutched Juniper close and led the way, glancing over her shoulder every few moments to make sure that Peeta was near. She hated big crowds like this; she hadn't seen the train station this crowded for years.
"Holiday weekend," the conductor said, catching her eye.
Whatever that meant. Katniss was just glad she and Peeta were past the years of getting recognized. They were older now, less distinguishable in a crowd.
"Train's packed full. One seat left," that same conductor told her as she and Peeta hovered near the entryway.
"Momma, potty," Juniper said urgently.
"Now, right now?" Katniss asked.
"Gotta go!"
The lack of extra diapers and the hassle of foul-smelling, damp clothes for the entire train ride stared Katniss in the face, and Peeta read her mind.
"You two go on ahead," he said. "Me and Reed will catch the next train. We'll be right behind you."
"Are you sure?" Katniss asked.
"Momma!" Juniper howled, her body writhing against the side of Katniss's. Of course, she couldn't blame her two-year-old for waiting until the last minute to announce she had to use the bathroom - that was what having a toddler entailed.
"We'll meet you there," Peeta said, dropping hurried kisses to Katniss's cheek and the top of Juniper's hand.
Without time to argue the point, Katniss rushed onto the train and made it to the bathroom with Juniper just in time. She plopped her daughter on the too-big toilet and kneeled in front of her while Juniper swung her legs, both of them relieved in different ways to have avoided an accident.
"I peed in the potty, Momma," Juniper said as Katniss was washing their hands together in the small sink.
"You did," Katniss said. "I'm so proud of you."
"Where Dada and Reedy go?"
Leaving the bathroom, Katniss hoisted Juniper onto her hip again and was led by the conductor to the last available seat. She thanked him and got her daughter situated before handing over their ticket.
"They're on the train behind ours," Katniss told her. "We'll get to District 2 a little bit before them, but we won't have to wait long."
"Why they not here?"
"No room on this train," Katniss said, turning towards the window.
Following her mother's gaze, Juniper pressed her palms against the window and watched the world that she knew whiz by. The first time Katniss had left District 12 she was 16 years old, 14 years older than Juniper right now. Back then, the world had felt immeasurably big as the train sped along tracks that marked land she had never seen before. If it had felt that huge to her at that age, she wondered what could possibly be happening in Juniper's mind.
"Momma," Juniper said, pointing out the window, "Look."
Both of their eyes scanned the thick covering of trees as it rushed by. Katniss held her daughter close, one hand tucked around her soft belly, and said, "I know."
…
When the train arrived at the District 2 station, Juniper was heavy with sleep and draped across Katniss's chest. It was past dinnertime and both of their stomachs were growling, but Katniss forgot about that as soon as the nerves took over.
She couldn't pinpoint what exactly she was so nervous about. A new environment, being apart from Peeta, being apart from Reed, the fact that she had no clue where she was going. Interacting with Gale again. Wondering if things would be the same between them. Knowing that they wouldn't.
Katniss hoisted Juniper a little higher and adjusted her body, keeping a good hold on her as she maneuvered through the other passengers that had deboarded the train with them.
"Your arms getting tired, Catnip?" a voice said from behind her, and Katniss whipped around to see Gale standing close by.
He looked the same, but so much different. Still tall. Still muscular. Still handsome in the rugged, Seam way. Seeing him felt like reuniting with a family member who had left a completely different person than who they returned as. And that was true for Gale - and Katniss, and Peeta too. None of them was the same as they'd been before the war.
Katniss stared at him with what she was sure was shock painted on her face. But the way she answered was straightforward and devoid of any humor, so unlike she used to communicate with him. "No," she said. "She's not heavy. She's my daughter."
"I see that," Gale said. "I mean, I would hope so. I would hope you wouldn't walk off the train carrying a stranger's kid."
"No," she said, not comfortable enough to joke. She wondered if she would get to that place again - this trip, or ever.
"Where's Peeta?"
Katniss looked over her shoulder like her husband might be lingering there. Of course, he wasn't. "The train was full," she said. "He and the baby caught the one right after ours."
"The baby?" Gale echoed.
Katniss nodded, but didn't acknowledge his question with words. Instead, she looked at the arrival times on the flickering board above their heads, and saw that Peeta and Reed's train would arrive in two hours.
"He'll be hungry," she muttered to herself, referencing the baby.
"There's dinner at home," Gale said. "We'll save some for him. For them."
Katniss didn't bother telling Gale that that wasn't what she meant - she just nodded. They couldn't wait here for the train - Juniper would wake up hungry and needing a bathroom soon, then go back down for the night. Katniss needed a comfortable place for her, but it didn't feel right to leave the station without Peeta.
"Let's drop your stuff at my house," Gale said. "Get you guys situated, then come back and get Peeta. Sound good?"
Relieved to not be the one making the plans, Katniss nodded and followed Gale towards the exit. His house was a short distance away, but they drove anyway. Neither of them spoke, and it was strange. Katniss didn't know what to say, and it seemed like Gale knew what he wanted to say but couldn't manage to say it. Katniss couldn't help but think that she should've just stayed home.
When they got to Gale's modest house, Juniper started to stir. "Momma?" she said, her voice raspy as she lifted her head and squinted against the brightness of Gale's porch light. As he unlocked the door, he looked over his shoulder and met Juniper's eyes. At that, Juniper hid her face once more and clung tighter to Katniss's shoulders, shying away from the stranger.
In 12, there were no strangers. Gale was the first person Juniper had ever met who she hadn't been introduced to as a newborn baby.
"Juni, this is my friend Gale," Katniss said, stepping inside his house. "He and I knew each other when we were kids, just like you. We were good friends." Katniss flashed Gale a soft, encouraging smile. "Gale, this is Juniper. My daughter. Juni, can you tell Gale how old you are?"
Without lifting her face out from the curtain of Katniss's hair, Juniper held up two chubby fingers.
"Two," Gale said, sounding impressed. "Wow, big girl."
Juniper hid her hand once again, tucking her arm close to her body. Katniss stroked her hair and said to Gale, "I'm going to get her changed and use the bathroom, if that's okay?"
"Of course," he said. "Down the hall and to your right."
Katniss felt Gale's eyes on her back as she walked, and only once the two of them were completely alone behind the closed bathroom door did Juniper lift her head and stand on her own.
"This is not our house," she said, allowing Katniss to lift her onto the toilet.
"No, it's not," Katniss said, pulling pajamas out of the backpack she brought. "It's my friend Gale's house."
"Smells funny."
Katniss stifled a laugh. The house smelled fine to her - normal, like any house smelled - but Juniper was so used to the cinnamony, doughy smell of their own home that anything else must have been off-putting.
After scrubbing Juniper's face and weaving her hair into a loose braid, Katniss helped her into a pair of blush pink pajamas - a matching thermal set that kept her warm. After the little girl was dressed, Katniss kissed the palms of her hands, the round apples of her cheeks, then the warm bend of Juniper's neck, which made her scream with laughter and throw her arms around Katniss's shoulders.
"Are you hungry?" Katniss asked her, opening the bathroom door so they could head out. "What do you think Gale has for us?"
"Cheese buns," Juniper said confidently.
Katniss giggled to herself and said, "I don't think he's got those here."
As the two of them went back into the kitchen, Gale was dishing potato soup and setting it on the table. There were two empty bowls, too, assumedly for Peeta and Reed.
"Thanks," Katniss said, allowing Juniper to sit in her own chair - up on her knees for added height. "This smells good."
"I had so many potatoes, I wasn't sure what to do with them," he said.
Katniss smiled cordially and took a small bite - it was still too hot for Juniper. "Hot," she said to her daughter. "Momma will blow on it."
She felt Gale's eyes on her yet again as she stirred Juniper's soup and blew on it, making sure it was cool enough for her toddler. Once it was, she lifted her eyes and met Gale's, and he didn't look away.
"What?" she said, trying not to sound snappish or defensive.
"Nothing," he said, his gaze shifting to Juniper, where it lingered. "It's just… she's a Seam kid, huh? Through and through. Like us. The hair, the eyes, her skin."
Katniss glanced at Juniper and saw what Gale saw, admittedly she did. But she also saw what he didn't. Peeta's freckles dusting Juniper's button dose, Peeta's dimple on the left side of her smile, and his widow's peak cresting her hairline. Small details to others, sure, but all Katniss saw when she looked at Juniper was Peeta.
She wasn't so blind as to realize who each child favored. On first glance, of course someone would think what Gale thought. But it wasn't that simple. There was so much of Peeta in Juniper that it was almost silly.
"I haven't seen a kid that looks like her in…" Gale paused, thinking. "I don't know. Years." He smiled. "It's nice."
Katniss wasn't sure how to respond, so she chose not to. She knew she was being preternaturally quiet around the person who used to be her closest friend, but she just couldn't think of what to say. There was so much that she could fill the pockets of silence with, yet nothing felt right.
"Where's your baby?" Juniper asked, slurping her potato soup while looking curiously at Gale.
Gale raised his eyebrows, visibly taken aback at her question. "My baby?" he repeated.
"Your Juni and your Reedy."
Then, he understood. "Oh," he said. "Well, I don't have any kids. Not yet, at least."
His eyes met Katniss's for a split second and she looked away before the gaze could linger. Sitting here at his study oak table with her child that he noted - in not so many words - looked like he did was suddenly uncomfortable. Katniss didn't want to imagine what life with Gale could have been like. She realized then that she never did, not after falling in love with Peeta. In the beginning, during those days in the forest, sure. She didn't daydream about it like the other girls her age, but she had considered it.
Now, though, it was so far off the table. It wasn't even on the floor.
"What time is it?" she asked, and Gale told her. "Peeta's train will be in soon."
"An hour," Gale said. "And the night trains are usually late."
"I don't want to miss him."
Gale eyed her - a bit sullenly, if she wasn't mistaken. "You have time to finish your soup," he said.
"I know what I have time for," she retorted, but made no move to stand. She knew he was right. But she wished the hour would pass faster - actually, she wished that she would've insisted on waiting with Peeta so they could have ridden the train together, as a family. That was what she should've done.
"How's your mother doing?" Gale asked a few minutes later.
"Well, I think," Katniss said. "She sends us letters sometimes."
"I paint for Nana," Juniper said proudly, a glob of potato on her chin. Katniss reached across and swiped it off with her thumb.
"I bet you do," Gale said.
"My dada paints," Juniper said, in the same tone.
"That he does."
Katniss glanced at Gale quickly - only for a fleeting moment. Something in his face had closed, had shut off. She could still recognize it, after all these years, without even trying.
She wasn't sure what he was upset about, but let him be upset. He was the one who opened his house to them after Peeta extended the olive branch of friendship - the olive branch that maybe Katniss and Gale were both long past. But Peeta had tried. Leave it up to Peeta to try.
For her. He had tried for her, because of course he did.
So, because he had tried for her, she would try for him. Though this friendship shouldn't take such effort, it had gotten to a point where now, it did. So, she would try.
"Do you speak to…" She didn't know who to ask about. Not his brothers, nor his little sister, even his mother. They had all passed. Who was left that he was close to, besides her? Anyone? And did she even count?
She wanted to pity him. But the phone did work both ways, as did the post.
"I've made friends here," he assured her with a small chuckle. "I'm not completely alone."
She frowned slightly but said, "Good."
Katniss and Gale were never the chattiest of friends, but conversation had never before been stilted like this. She guessed that they had changed too much over the course of the years that separated them, and the potential for a bridge was long gone.
Or maybe she had changed, and he had stayed the same. It was hard to be sure.
…
When Peeta got off the train, Reed was finally in the midst of a fitful sleep. He had wailed for the last two hours of the train ride, much to the annoyance of everyone in their car, but there was nothing Peeta could do. He refused the bottle that they had packed; he only wanted to nurse. Peeta tried again and again to tell him that they'd see Katniss in a short while, but of course he didn't understand.
So, the relief when the train pulled up to the platform was palpable. And even more so was the relief when he saw Katniss standing there in a dark blue sweater, Juniper cradled in her arms and Gale a few feet away. A few oddly-placed, tense feet away, if Peeta said so himself.
It was like they'd been apart for years, not hours, when Katniss threw her arms around him in a tight, warm hug. She pressed her face into his neck and he breathed her in - the crisp scent of her shampoo mixed with milk that was undoubtedly leaking upon seeing Reed.
"I missed you, too," he said with humor.
She pulled back and swiped over his cheekbone with her thumb, looking deep into his eyes like she was trying to communicate something. He tried to read it, but Gale spoke before he could.
"Hey, Peeta," he said, as Katniss and Peeta wordlessly traded children. "It's good to see you."
Reed had begun to wake, squirming and rooting as he sensed his mother. "He's really hungry," Katniss said. "I need to find somewhere to sit so I can feed him."
As the group walked towards a nearby bench, Juniper woke up in Peeta's arms and smiled at him with half-lidded eyes. "Dada," she said, then slipped her thumb into her mouth and fell back to sleep.
As Peeta sat beside Katniss, her body seemed to relax as she leaned to rest her head on his shoulder. Only then did Peeta remember to respond to what Gale said. "It's good to see you, too," he told him, and Gale nodded.
His eyes were focused lower. At first, Peeta wondered if he was being that bold about gawking at Katniss's breast as she nursed Reed - but he soon realized that wasn't the case. Because when Gale spoke again, he acknowledged the baby.
"He looks exactly like you," he noted, watching Katniss's hands as they gently handled Reed, then shifting his gaze to Peeta's face. "Exactly."
Peeta grinned. He hadn't yet grown tired of hearing that and he doubted he ever would. "Thanks," he said. "She tells me that all the time. But you should see him when he smiles. It's all Katniss."
The look on Gale's face was hard to decipher. Peeta was glad to take any chance he could get to talk about his children; they were what he'd always dreamed of. Everyone in 12 was so familiar with them, so the opportunity to introduce someone new to Juniper and Reed - especially someone who Katniss cared so much for - was special.
"They have the same birthmark, too," Peeta continued. He was sure Katniss wouldn't want him going on about the intimate marks on her skin, though, so he kept the details to himself. "It's very cute."
Katniss looked up from where Reed was latched and smiled at her husband - a soft, warm grin that made him feel like he was enveloped in a blanket. He treasured those types of smiles - the kind she gave to him and their children. She had other types that she'd dole out sporadically to the people in town, a different kind for Haymitch and Sae, but the kind that he just saw was reserved. Contained. Yet it told him everything he'd ever need to know.
"I'm surprised he came out so blonde," Gale said, still on the subject. "You'd think after the first, and with the strong Seam genes…" He shrugged. "It's almost like he didn't come from Katniss at all."
Katniss sat up ramrod straight, which startled Reed - but only for a moment. He quickly readjusted and latched again, but Katniss didn't relax her spine. "He came from me. He's mine," she spat. "He's ours."
Gale laughed uncomfortably. "I wasn't saying that," he said. "Of course he's yours. Calm down, Catnip."
She held Reed closer and rocked him, turning her back ever-so-slightly in Gale's direction. Peeta studied her body language and Gale's face as the sparse words exchanged played through his mind, and he knew exactly what was going on inside Gale's head. He was jealous. Maybe not wildly so, and he would never act on his feelings. The envy would probably even see itself out in a day or two, if it was given enough room to breathe. But Peeta could tell that Katniss hated it, and that she was uncomfortable.
She never liked being put in the middle, and Peeta realized that was exactly the position she was in now. Even physically.
"It's late," he said, as soon as Reed was finished. "Should we go?"
…
Katniss had a hard time falling to sleep in the stiff bed in Gale's guest bedroom, even with Peeta's warm presence at her side. There was no room for Juniper and Reed - Juniper was on a small cot near the window and Reed was in a tiny, swinging hammock that Katniss checked the integrity of at least three times before lying him down in it.
"I don't like it here," she whispered through the darkness, knowing that Peeta was still awake.
"Hmm?" he said. "Why?"
She couldn't tell him why. Not yet. Not here, not now. It was too complicated and too simple all at once. Even though Peeta would probably understand, she still didn't have the words.
"I just don't," she said.
"You got too used to our soft bed at home," he joked.
She chuckled and laid a hand on his firm bicep, shaking her head slightly. "Yeah, that's it," she said.
"I knew you'd come around to that thing. This is like laying on a board. I feel like I'm at sea, or something. On a creaky old ship."
Katniss laughed a little louder. She covered her own mouth, then Peeta's. "Go to sleep," she told him.
"Hey. You woke me up."
"I said…" she whispered, resting a flat hand on his chest and pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder. "Go to sleep."
…
The next morning was the first since Juniper was born that they woke up alone in their bed, and it was anything but refreshing. It was disconcerting.
"Momma?" Juniper cried, sitting up on her cot and sniffling.
"Come here, you," Katniss said, gathering her girl in her arms before dipping low to grab Reed out of the hammock. She brought them to the bed and crawled in afterwards, the second bookend, and listened to Peeta inhale deeply as he woke up.
Following routine, Reed found his way to Katniss's breast so he could nurse. Katniss smiled to herself as she felt his little palms against her chest plate, his short fingers trapping strands of her hair in his fists - not firmly enough to hurt. But instead of joining him, Juniper looked at Katniss with wet eyes and said, "I wanna go home."
Over their daughter's head, Katniss looked at Peeta as Juniper's words sat between them. They were meant to stay for two more days, but both knew that wouldn't happen anymore.
Peeta smiled softly and Katniss mirrored his expression. He pushed Juniper's hair out of her gray eyes, did the same for his wife, then said, "Let's go home."