"You okay?" It was a lame question to ask and Nikita knew it. She had just ended her conversation with Michael and Alex over the coms, where they confirmed Percy's seventy million dollars had been destroyed. The transport truck was hit with a couple grenades (once the driver was clear, of course) and all the money went up in smoke. Twenty million of that being Birkhoff's. Although he had given them the go ahead to destroy it when they realized stealing wasn't an option anymore, the decision couldn't have been easy to sit with. He lost everything so that Percy could too. It wasn't exactly a fair trade.
Except, Birkhoff didn't say anything about it. He didn't bitch or moan like he had earlier. He sat in silence for a long while, not looking at Nikita. As she drove back to the safehouse, she tried to keep her eyes on the road. Yet his silence ate away at her. She worried about him. She needed to know if he really was okay. Once he spoke, however, she had her answer, "I got you shot, before, when I froze. I keep going over it in my head, you know. I had the gun in my hand. I knew I had to shoot, but I looked at him and all I kept seeing in my head was…"
"Ms. Bennet," Sighing, Nikita's grip tightened on the steering wheel. She had reached the revelation earlier with Michael, yet that didn't mean it didn't sting any less. Birkhoff nodded, still avoiding her gaze. She should say something to make him feel better- assure that it wasn't all his fault. But she continued to struggle with that thought as well. The best she could do was give him the same advice Michael once gave her, "First time you kill someone, it stays with you for a long, long time. I really wished you would've talked to me about it."
"Seemed a little insensitive. 'Hey, Nikki. Mind if I cry on your shoulder about the time I killed the person you and your siblings love so much?'" His sarcasm had a point. There was a chance Nikita wouldn't have talked to Birkhoff after the shooting. She probably would've pushed him away like she had her brother and boyfriend. Yet she wasn't the only person on the team he could've talked to. There was Michael, Alex, Ryan, and Owen if he would answer their calls. Maybe she and Sean wouldn't have talked, but the others would. The nerd wasn't alone.
"I know. But we gotta talk. Otherwise, people get shot or arrested. Okay?" Sparing a glance at Birkhoff, Nikita flashed him a small smile. Of all the people on the team, she probably shouldn't have been the one giving that advice. She was terrible at talking as well. A lot of the problems she ran into with others was due to a lack of communication. If she just opened up instead of closed down in anger, then maybe things wouldn't get so bad. Her lesson should've been learned by then, but apparently only enough to advise others.
"Like you talk about your mom?" Birkhoff was fair in calling Nikita out. Sean had begun to talk about his mother's death, at least in terms of old stories and how he, Jill, and Sandy were handling things. Nikita, on the other hand, barely said anything outside of the forced conversations with Michael, Sean, and Alex. She wouldn't let herself fall into those emotional outbursts again, not when she had so much work left to do against Division. It definitely wasn't healthy. And she was going to explode again if she didn't say anything. But just like after her dad and Daniel, the words wouldn't come out right.
"That's fair," All Nikita could really do was chuckle in response. Birkhoff found himself laughing along with her. Although they fell into silence after the soft chuckles settled, an awkward air didn't hang above them. The two could find some way past their current situation. It all just came down to talking, even if that was always more impossible than it seemed. They managed to come to a conclusion that they would, just not at that second. They still had to return to the safehouse, debrief with Michael and Alex, and actually get some rest. Maybe afterwards a real discussion could occur.
The debrief with Michael and Alex went as smoothly as it usually did. However, Birkhoff expected to get chewed out for being arrested. It never happened, much to his surprise. Instead, his fighting ability was given praise. Soon, the team moved on to rest for the night and pick things up in the morning. That was perfectly fine with the nerd. It gave him a second to think. By the time the afternoon rolled around and Michael and Alex had left to grab lunch, Birkhoff was ready to talk to Nikita. He wasn't sure how exactly to start. But a thankyou seemed appropriate, "Not sure if I said this, but uh… thanks for coming to my rescue back there, after what I said."
"We had a fight. That doesn't mean I'm going to throw you to the wolves," Grinning lightly, Nikita took the seat next to Birkhoff. He continued to stare at the ocean outside the window, but her attention was completely on him. She had said some atrocious things while in a fight before, especially to people she loved. Yet they never gave up on her. So why should she give up on the nerd. If anything, he should be the one that was still upset. It was his money that was sacrificed, "You weren't wrong. You did lose all your money."
"Yeah well, I probably shouldn't blame you for that. By the time I saw what Damascus was doing, it was too late. I'm a little mad at myself for that," Birkhoff admitted. He had been conned out of his money, plain and simple. It wasn't anyone's fault but his own. He had known the risks, and yet he ignored them in his selfish panic. Nikita didn't deserve to be lashed out at. She had gotten shot, after all. His internal anger just exploded out of him, landing on a target he knew would make him even angrier and stoke the flames.
"You couldn't have known that," Nikita attempted to get him to see reason. The banker had conned Percy and countless other people as well. Birkhoff shouldn't have been the exception. No one was above getting duped or played. It happened to the team occasionally, mostly whenever they trusted someone they shouldn't have. To err was to human. It wasn't as though the nerd was actually one of those computers he built and hacked with. He was allowed to mess up from time to time.
"How do you think I made my money? I mean, I used a keyboard but it's the same idea. Trick some arrogant rich guy with a fake login screen. It looks secure, so he lets his guard down. Then he gives you everything you need to walk his money out the backdoor," Arguing, Birkhoff explained how common the con Damascus pulled on them was. He had done it so successfully as a hacker, he had made over twenty million dollars. It was his staple, until he got too cocky and tried to hack the Pentagon.
"Courtesy of Shadowwalker," But that wasn't what Nikita focused on. She laughed, seriously impressed with what the nerd had done. He had the skills to literally pay the bills. It was the kind of talent one could only dream of. Her praise seemed to bring Birkhoff out of his shell a little bit more. He didn't feel as guilt ridden or sorry for himself. How could he when a friend was smiling at him so kindly. Shadowwalker really had been that awesome, before the world came crashing down at his feet.
Laughing, a slew of memories rushed to Birkhoff's mind. His pre-Division hacker days had certainly been something. He had been at the top of his game- a king of his world. He had been untouchable too, until that one fateful hack. But up until that moment, he walked blissfully through the shadows, "Yeah he was pretty good. I remember this one headline: Who is Shadowwalker? It had a silhouette and a question mark. I had a bounty on my head and everything. Division erased all that. That money was the last remaining evidence that I used to be someone more than just a computer geek."
"You are more than some computer geek, with or without the money. You know when I'm out there, risking my life, you are my lifeline. You're the voice in my ear, telling bad jokes and getting me out safely. You are irreplaceable. And one of a kind. And that's a good thing, cause I don't think the world can take two of you," Immediately and strongly, Nikita reassured. Birkhoff finally looked at her and noticed how intently her gaze was set on him. Although her statement ended with a joke, she was beyond serious. The hacker wasn't just some nerd; he was her nerd. He was as a part of her life and her heart as her family was.
Birkhoff echoed Nikita's soft laugh and gentle smile. The two were far more than a team. They had worked together for so long and through so much hell to just be teammates. The two had become friends- extremely close friends. Nikita would say that Birkhoff was like a brother to her, yet she was fairly certain she liked him more than her actual brother at times. Before she could share that joke with him, knowing that he would die laughing from it, Alex and Michael returned with their takeout, "Hey, Shadowwalker."
"Food. And a straggler," Alex continued off of Michael, holding up a bag of takeout and nodding towards Sean who had followed the two into the beach house. While Birkhoff leapt out of his chair to dig through the food containers, Sean moved to join his sister. He wanted to update her on how Jill and Sandy were doing, as promised. However, she was distracted watching Alex hand Birkhoff a check. It didn't nearly cover the amount he had lost, but it was a start. And knowing his skills, he could double it in no time. The gesture alone held more weight than the check did, though. Birkhoff's bright grin expressed as much.
"I heard you guys had an adventure without me," Gaining his sister's attention, Sean pulled the chair over to invade her space. Nikita rolled her eyes and kicked at him. She didn't know when Michael and Alex had run into her brother. But no doubt during that time, Alex told him everything she could to catch him up. Lately, those two were always talking. Ever since their time in Russia together, they had been inseparable. It was a bit weird for Nikita to watch at first- her brother and her best friend growing so close. Yet, she was beginning to be all for it.
"We handled ourselves pretty well," Nikita smirked. She threw a quick wink across the safehouse at Michael, who flashed her a half-smile in reply. After a moment, he nodded towards Alex then Sean. Neither noticed it. They had become engrossed in a conversation with Birkhoff about how rapidly the team spent money. Nikita caught Michael's meaning, however, and her smug grin grew. There really was more to Sean and Alex. She definitely had to mess with that. Leaning over, she whispered in her brother's ear, "You know, I can teach you some Russian phrases to help you out with Alex."
Out of reflex, Sean punched his sister in the arm. It wasn't a hard strike, simply something playful- if not a bit mean to get her to back off about Alex. However, Nikita quickly crumbled in pain. She let out a loud and explicit curse, and held onto her arm tightly. Dropping the food he was serving, Michael instantly rushed over to her. Alex and Birkhoff's conversation died out as they glanced over in concern. But Sean only rolled his eyes. It wasn't that big of a deal, "Calm down. I didn't even hit you that hard."
"I got shot in that arm, dumbass," Between labored breaths, Nikita seethed. Apparently, it was that big of a deal. Michael managed to push up her sleeve to check if a stitch had been popped. He swore he had just re-healed her bullet wound after her fight at the station. She just couldn't go two seconds without hurting herself. Honestly, it was no wonder his anxiety was high. Nikita might've been able to take care of herself, but not without getting scathed. Luckily, no stitch had been ruined by Sean's punch, yet the bruising on her arm had certainly worsened.
"What! My sister was shot and no one was going to say anything?" Voice cracked, Sean glanced around the safehouse in shock. Nikita had been injured and no one thought to call him. Sure, he had been with his other sisters. But that didn't mean he couldn't rush over and help the team. They all thought that way, however. His normal life shouldn't be completely ruined by their war. Nikita was the biggest advocate for that. Her brother couldn't be sucked in by Division the same way she had. He should stay with Jill and Sandy as much as he could. The Pierces had already lost too much.
Nikita gave a quick summation of recent events, added onto by Michael, Birkhoff, and Alex. Sean was more surprised by the shooting and the team destroying millions of dollars than anything else. The drama with an arrest, dealing with Division, and being duped by a criminal seemed fairly on par for their antics. Although he wanted to argue otherwise, especially with an injured sister, he was certain that it would've played out the same even if he was there. He could only sigh and accept what they told him. Alex shrugged, "Told you. Adventure."
"I don't think I can leave you guys alone ever again," Sean quipped. He was met with eyerolls and the team moving back to their lunch. Food was more important than him tagging along; though, they did appreciate the sentiment. With the major blow to Percy they just landed, they could use all the help they could get. The bastard was going to grow desperate with all of his funds destroyed. Desperation meant mistakes. And the team had to be right there when he eventually slipped up.
"Great. More things to look forward to," Nudging her brother, Nikita snarked. He fought the urge to punch her again. Birkhoff gave him cups to fill with the soda they bought, and that seemed to help his irritation. Alex and his sister still giggled behind his back, and Michael couldn't help but smirk. Sean had to find a way to get back at Nikita for good. Annoying nicknames and strikes obviously weren't enough. He had to get on her level.
"Come on, let's eat. We'll all feel better," Suspecting that the siblings were going to get into it, Michael distracted them with plates of food. The team could have another fight once they weren't hungry. Besides, the takeout might be a substantial enough peace offering. It was enough to get them all to talk and laugh and relax after their recent drama. It was a great reset before they had to rush off on their next adventure. After what they had just done, it had to be huge.