"Where's people?" Slurred, muttered, and startling Alex, Sean snapped awake. His impromptu nurse had felt him stirring as she changed his bandage, so she shouldn't have been that surprised by his alertness. She had just been so lost in thought, that she hardly noticed anything around her. Ever since Birkhoff made his asinine observation, she hadn't been able to think straight. There was nothing to see between her and Sean. How could there be anything to see between her and her best friend's younger brother. Those energy drinks really fucked with the nerd's mind. That was the only explanation Alex would consider.
She had to snap herself out of those thoughts, however. There were other things going on around the safehouse besides an injured Sean and an insane Birkhoff. Ryan, Michael, and Nikita had returned from the meeting with Kendrick in varying degrees of triumph. The men were relieved that the deputy CIA director had agreed to help. The rogue, on the other hand, was satisfied with the fact that she had bugged their potential ally. Another argument almost erupted because of her actions. Until they overheard the phone call with Percy. Plans had to change drastically once again, "Looks like Kendrick's in with Percy. They went to go deal with him."
There was more to the story, like Nikita gearing up to kill Kendrick and Ryan desperately trying to find a reason for his old friend's betrayal, but Alex didn't know how much Sean would understand. Not only had he just regained consciousness, he also looked pretty out of it. Short and simple and none of the complicated mess that was a stubborn hellbent Nikita and a wavering Michael and Ryan was for the best. The way he limply nodded and frowned bolstered the idea, "That's very bad. That's very serious. Very serious. Y'all are very serious around these parts."
"It's possible I went a little overboard on those pain meds," Giggling, Alex explained her mistake to Birkhoff. He only shrugged and pulled out a tablet to record the conversation. Nikita would probably appreciate a video of her brother high after the mission she ran off on. Another kill mission and another corrupt government official wasn't going to sit right with her. Her actions also weren't going to sit right with Michael and Ryan (despite Michael following her into the field). A video of their teammate stoned out of his mind would definitely lighten the mood. Plus (and more importantly) the nerd could use the tape to torment the Seal later.
"Learn to lighten up some, son. Learn to lighten up. Learn to like the little things in life. Like this cot. This cot is awesome," Sean patted the cot underneath him as he propped himself up on his elbows and grinned goofily. Alex couldn't stop herself from laughing and smiling like an idiot. She could blame the fact that Nikita and Sean had screamed 'lighten up, son' at each other so much that the team caught onto the siblings' inside joke. But in reality, she was smiling because he was just so cute and silly.
"I'm sure it is," Okay, maybe Birkhoff was right. Her crush on Sean was obvious. Except, Alex buried that thought away so she could focus on teasing him and pretending that his smile didn't affect her as much as it did. Then wasn't the time for a grandiose admission of feelings or attractions. He was healing from a terrible gunshot wound, and the team was fractured trying to decide if they should kill a man or not. She should just do her part in helping Sean heal, and wait for the dust to settle. Besides, how did she know if her feelings were real or just born from the shock of seeing a friend bleed out.
"You're awesome," Oh. Sean looked at her with such sincere and adoring hazel eyes that all Alex could do was stare back. Her thoughts halted for a moment, as did her breath. That had to be from more than just a crush, right. After all, the way he glanced at her- even while high- was so full of emotion it choked her. He, on the other hand, was able to ramble affectionately, "I'm cereal. You're amazing. What you've been through in life. Going through that, to stay strong and keep your heart, that's incredible. There's no one else like you, Alex."
Alex still couldn't breathe. It felt as though all the air had been ripped out of her lungs by Sean's sincerity. Despite her inability to breathe, or even think, her heart slammed rapidly against her chest. She thought she would have blushed if her body and mind were working properly. However, she was frozen just staring at him. He didn't seem to notice- thank God. He smiled dopily once more and flopped back on the cot, "Alexandra Udinov. Is it Alexandra Udinov, or is it Alexandra You-dinov? I don't know if it is."
"You know, I think you should get some rest," Reaching to tuck the blanket back around him, Alex gratefully found something else to focus on. She could get him to sleep, clean up the mess of medical supplies around them, and maybe check in and see how the team was faring. Ryan was off in analysis land; he might need her help. She'd prefer to work on that then to sit and think about what Sean had said. Not that she hated it, or despised it, or had any negative feelings towards his words. She just didn't want to run them through her mind over and over and over again. What if it wasn't real. She didn't want to set her hopes up like that.
"Not with you around," Sean laughed and playfully swatted at her. A soft chuckle broke free from Alex's chest. She smiled warmly at him, and ensured he was comfortable as he slipped back into unconsciousness. His words and actions couldn't have all been from the drugs, could it have. Some of it had to have been a result of being shot. Emotions always went flying when death was near. She and Nikita definitely panicked while he was bleeding out. It was simply his turn to freak out. That had to have been all it was.
"Sounds like you guys can use some privacy, so…" Birkhoff, however, had other ideas. Alex hadn't even noticed the nerd had approached the two. He must've left his computer station just to be a nuisance. She hated that no one else in the safehouse was able to distract him. Was he not satisfied in taunting her for being an heiress and a mole. He didn't have to get on her for her complicated love life. Because she didn't have a love life. She was sure of that. Nothing was going on between her and Sean Pierce. How many times did she have to say that, or think that, to be believed.
"Yeah, well, he's pretty drugged up, so…" Shrugging, Alex tried to get Birkhoff to go away. He was getting way too good at reading the team's thoughts; maybe it was from all that time hanging around a silent Michael and closed off Nikita. Regardless, Alex didn't need him reading hers. She wouldn't be able to stand his taunting, or worse, his attempt to fix things. She could handle it on her own. The nerd should focus on his computers, or whatever. That would save them all a headache.
The young woman soon got her wish. Before Birkhoff could make another comment, Ryan emerged from analysis land. He believed he had intel that proved Kendrick was in distress and didn't actually turn on the team. Leaving Alex blissfully alone, the nerd returned to his computers to follow the lead. There hadn't been any news from the field. Michael and Nikita continued to hold their position, readying the sniper rifle and preparing for the shot. Little words had passed between them. She was dead set on her mission, and he was unsure of what to say. Eventually, though, he did have to express his doubt, "There has to be more to the story."
"No, there doesn't. People with power are corrupt. They'll do anything to stay in power and subvert those underneath them," Harshly, Nikita muttered. She had believed Kendrick was dirty, and she had been proven right. So what if it didn't make sense to Ryan or Michael. They had to learn that everyone in government was going to betray them eventually. All they cared about was the power they could exert over others. She had experienced it first hand with Division and Oversight. Even their own children could be used as pawns in their schemes.
"And your mom?" Michael glanced at Nikita cautiously. She wouldn't look at him. Her gaze dropped to the ground and she bit her lip. He should've expected her feelings regarding her mother would remain complicated. It wasn't something a conversation with her mom would've fixed, especially since her death followed shortly after. She continued to struggle with everything Madeline did, and everything she herself did as a result. He should talk to her about it, just not then. They had a mission to complete first, "Wind's coming from the northeast."
Ryan stopped the assassination of Deputy Director Kendrick just in time. As Nikita began to pull the trigger, a warning voice shot through the coms telling the agents to hold off. Kendrick had a killchip attached to his pacemaker. They couldn't kill him; they had to save him. Alex wished she could've helped Michael and Nikita with that mission, but she was too far away. Besides, Ryan and Birkhoff were handling things from the computers, and she still had to watch after Sean. To keep herself busy, she gave him some water and needlessly tidied. He caught her strange behavior instantly, "Why are you being all weird?"
"I'm not being weird," Recovering from an awkward and random stumble, Alex argued. Sean didn't believe her for a second. Yet she didn't care what he thought. Actually, that was a lie. She cared a lot about what he thought and felt; she simply didn't want to dive into it at that moment. It was easier to ignore everything and only pay attention to his injury and things like that. Helping him heal was something she could control. She could do things, she could be active. She didn't really have to think. Overthinking was what was killing her.
"What, you think I don't remember?" Sean managed to guess what had distracted Alex so much; however, she didn't respond to his question. She just straightened out the things she had knocked over in her stumble, her back turned completely towards him. The Seal sighed. He didn't think opening his heart to her would make things so awkward. Though, to be fair, he didn't think about his confession at all. It had just happened. But since it was out in the air, he wasn't going to shy from it, "Will you just look at me for a second? I didn't say those things because I was stoned."
"I know. You had a brush with death. It's normal to get emotional afterwards," Even Alex wanted to punch herself for her stupidity. Why did she have to say that. Why couldn't she just accept it and move on. Was she afraid of the implications. Did Sean opening his heart to her really terrify her that much. Or was she more afraid of herself- afraid that she couldn't be as open and honest, and that she might hurt him in return. God, was she a mess. She just needed to be able to think. But that was becoming increasingly difficult.
"Wow. Those walls you have there are tough. What are you Russians made out of, anyway? Fieldstone? Petrified potatoes?" Sean sat on the edge of the cot, and smirked at Alex. If he was trying to be charming, it wasn't working. He came off as more of a sarcastic jerk than a teasing friend. Though, her heart did skip a beat at the way his eyes lit up at the taunt. Dammit, alright, he was charming. But she wouldn't let herself be swept off her feet by that look. It was only a glance. She needed substance as well, and not a jab at her Russianness.
"Want me to stick you with this again?" Holding up another syringe of morphine, Alex warned. She probably shouldn't give Sean any more drugs. She knew better than anybody the effects of a lot of narcotics at once. He should take it easy on the pain meds, and try to relax on his own. However, the empty threat somewhat worked. It made him raise placating hands, and scoot back on the cot a bit. He'd have to change up his game when it came to her; though, talking to her wasn't a game, and she wasn't some prize to win. That was one of the most serious things he had ever done. He had to get it right.
"I didn't say those things because I got shot, or because I lost my mom- even though losing her made me realize how fast life can go. I said those things because I wanted you to hear them. Because every once in a while there's a crack in that wall and you give me this look. Yeah, that's the one," Sean softly explained and pointed out the expression Alex sometimes gave him, the one he had grown to love so much. Although she had drifted closer to him, she didn't get the chance to respond. A warning chimed through one of the computers. Assailants had reached their property. Something must've gone wrong on the Kendrick mission. The team was fucked.