A/N- Hi guys! I know you probably all thought that I was never going to update this story, but a random burst of inspiration had proved you wrong. It's been so long that I can't even remember what day I used to update this on, but here's something random. Enjoy! (Also, if you want to leave prompts, that would be great!)
Alice, now six months pregnant and starting to feel heavy and uncomfortable almost all the time, woke up and felt a distinct chill in the air.
"Robin?" she asked, rolling over to face her wife, but quickly discovering that she was not in bed. "Robin?"
Heaving herself out of bed took a tremendous amount of effort, but she managed it nonetheless and began to walk down the hall towards the kitchen.
"Robin?" she called again. "Where are you?"
"In the kitchen, Alice!" Robin called back.
As Alice entered the kitchen, she was hit by the warm smell of bacon and pancakes cooking, and the sight of her beautiful wife with flour all over her face and a too-small apron haphazardly tied around her waist.
"Robin?" she asked gently. "What are you doing in here?"
"Well, I was making you breakfast in bed," Robin explained. "But then you got up and ruined the whole thing!"
Immediately, tears sprung to Alice's eyes, and her lower lip began to tremble.
"Oh, hey, Alice," Robin soothed, taking a cautious step towards her distraught wife. "Love, I was only teasing. There's no need to cry, you didn't do anything wrong."
This of course, caused Alice to burst into tears.
"Really, love," Robin tried again gently. "I'm not mad. We can just eat in here. No harm done."
Loud sobs wracked Alice's petite frame, and Robin stepped forward and wrapped her in a tight embrace.
"Al, what's wrong?" Robin asked, starting to get concerned but trying not to show it.
"All you w-wanted to d-do was m-make me b-breakfast in bed, and I ruined it!" Alice wailed between sobs.
"Oh, honey, it's okay," Robin comforted. "I didn't really need to bring it to you in bed anyways. In fact, it's probably better that we're eating down here. It's less of a mess and a hassle."
She crossed her fingers as Alice sniffled and looked up at her with watery blue eyes.
"Really?" she snuffled.
"Really," Robin smiled.
Then, a strange, unpleasant aroma filled her nose.
"Love, do you smell something burning?" Alice asked.
"The bacon!" Robin cried.
She whipped around, only to find that the frying pan had caught fire while she was comforting her hormonal pregnant wife.
Robin grabbed a towel, snatched the pan off the stove, threw it in the sink, and put out the flames with cold water.
"The fire is out!" she announced, then picked up the shopping wet, burnt bacon sheepishly and turned to face Alice. "But the bacon is burned. Sorry."
As soon as Alice caught sight of the blackened bacon, she burst into tears again.
"What?" Robin asked, almost exasperated. (She could, of course, never bring herself to be mad at Alice, hence the almost.) "What's wrong? Alice, honey, what's the matter?"
"I've ruined things again!" Alice wailed. "Here you are, doing something nice for me, and I had to go and mess it up by blubbering like a great big mumwrath!"
Robin was barely able to suppress a chuckle at Alice's nonsensical Wonderland analogies.
"Alice, love, I promise, it's okay," Robin soothed yet again. "You didn't ruin anything. And besides, you're carrying another human being inside you! I think you're entitled to cry as often as you want, and I swear, you don't look like a. . . what did you say? Rumwraith?"
"Mumwrath," Alice corrected with a sniffle. "And you don't even know what a mumwrath looks like; you've never seen one!"
"Oh yes I have," Robin argued playfully, grateful for the opportunity to distract Alice from her tears. "I watched Alice in Wonderland when I was a kid. I already told you that, remember? The night I made you watch it?"
"I didn't like that movie," Alice pouted. "First of all, I wasn't anything like that as a girl. And second, I didn't just go to Wonderland. It should have been called, 'Alice in Lots of Places," or, 'Alice in Wonderland (And Other Places)'."
"Personally, I like, 'Alice in Lots of Places," Robin smiled. "Now. Do you want some pancakes, or should I eat them all myself?"
"I want some!" Alice replied.
There was a time that a statement like that would have sent her dashing to the table like a hungry child, but for now she was content to walk at a somewhat faster pace than usual.
As Robin carried Alice's plate to the table, she stealthily lifted a pancake off her wife's plate, took a huge bite out of it, then set it back down.
When she got to the table, Alice looked extremely offended.
"Nobin!" she exclaimed, reverting back to their old nicknames in her mock annoyance. "Did you really just steal food from your daughter?"
"Tower Girl!" Robin shot back with the same mock annoyance. "Did you really just play the baby-guilt-trip card?"
Alice tried her best to look apologetic, then burst into loud giggles as Robin put her hands on her hips and looked scoldingly at her.
"You know, love," Alice commented, taking a bite out of her mauled pancake. "You're mum face could use a little work."
"Oh yeah?" Robin replied. "Well, let's see your mum face, huh?"
She purposefully emphasized the word mum with a fake British accent in order to get Alice to better rise to the bait.
Alice, immediately accepting the challenge, stood up- though, admittedly, with some difficulty-, put one hand on her hip, waved her other finger admonishingly in Robin's face, and gave her best, "you're about to be in the worst trouble of your life, so you better look out" face.
"Okay, that's pretty good," Robin admitted. "But since you have a better angry mom face, we'll have to strike a deal."
"A deal?" Alice asked. "And what sort of deal might that be?"
"You have to be bad cop," Robin smirked.
"Bad cop?" Alice asked in confusion.
"Yes, bad cop," Robin replied. "It means that any time she gets in trouble, you have to discipline her."
"And what will you be doing while I'm disciplining her?" Alice inquired, not at all liking where this discussion was going.
"I will be preparing to spoil her rotten," Robin announced. "After all, someone has to take her out for ice cream and make her feel better after she gets in trouble, right?"
"How about a new deal?" Alice suggested. "Since, let's be honest, that one's rubbish."
"Alright," Robin conceded. "I'll hear you out."
"What if we take turns being 'bad cop'?" Alice requested. "We alternate who has to discipline her and who gets to hug her and make her feel better each time she gets into trouble."
Robin nodded slowly.
"Alright," she agreed. "On one condition."
"Name it," Alice responded.
"You have to be the one to punish her first," Robin said. "You know, just so I can get a feel for what to do."
"Okay," Alice replied. "But I have a condition of my own."
"And what might that be?" Robin inquired.
"You and I are going back to bed. We're going to spend our morning there," Alice announced.
"But I'm not tired," Robin protested.
"Oh, love," Alice purred. "I wasn't suggesting that we go to sleep."
With that, Alice pressed a light kiss to Robin's lips, then pulled back and dragged her very willing wife back into their bedroom.
A/N- So, again, I know this is way late, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. If you did, and you'd like to see an update sooner than I got this one out, please leave a prompt for me. Also, please vote on a name for baby Mills- Cecilia Belle or Tiera Rose? Anyway, thank you for reading, and have a blessed day, loves!