Internal || Merlin

Merlin ran his finger over the edge of the mirror, stopping just before the point when it would call through the glass to the other half of the pair. If they were going to talk, Arthur needed to be the one to call. They couldn't risk someone seeing the mirrors when they shouldn't.

"You miss him."

Elsa still sat only a few feet away from him, still awake despite the dark skies and plans for an early start the next day.

"Of course I do." The two were never separate. When they were, Merlin had never once hesitated to run after Arthur, to follow him into whatever danger. Yet here Merlin was, walking away from his destiny and into another.

Elsa gazed into the dying fire without replying. Merlin wondered if she was thinking of Anna and how much she missed her sister, or something else entirely.

"Should I feel the same?" she asked. "I don't miss Anna, not like you miss Arthur. I'm worried for her safety, but… I'm not her other half. And I'm okay with that. I don't need her as my opposite to feel whole." She reached a hand out over the coals and closed her eyes, whispering a spell Merlin had tried to teach her. The embers glowed a little more fiercely for a second, then faded back. Elsa pulled her hand away.

"You'll get it. It's only been a few hours since you started trying."

Elsa nodded. "I have to. My life and Anna's depends on it."

"Do you feel any warmer?"

She still had a cloak over her clothes, the same one Gwen had lent her earlier. It matched nothing else she wore, but Elsa cared little about her appearance. When Merlin asked about how she felt, Elsa tugged at the corners closest to her face, drawing them in tighter.

"I feel less like I'll freeze to death in minutes, and more like I just jumped into a pile of snow with no clothes on."

"You mean, you feel how a normal person would feel doing that? Because I'm guessing if pre-unbalanced Elsa tried that, she'd feel fine, if maybe somewhat embarrassed."

For a second, Merlin thought she might laugh. She didn't.

"If you can't sleep, we can keep practicing for a bit."

"Just us?"

"Just us."

They stood simultaneously, heading back to edge of the river from that afternoon. Camp would be safe without them for the moment, Merlin's protective spells hiding it from anyone who didn't know what to look for. Merlin waved at a half-asleep Gwaine before leaving, just so someone would know they left of their own free will.

"Okay. Back to forbearnan. It's the fire spell that came most easily to me, but there are so many others if this one doesn't click." He showed multiple of them, casting flames from his hands so they hovered close to him or flew over the water.

Elsa copied everything from his stance to the way his voice emphasized certain points in the words. "Bael onbryne," she said. "Bael onbryne. Byrne!" Elsa repeated Merlin's motions again and again, voice louder and gestures more insistent each time.

"Stop, Elsa, stop, you're going to dislocate a shoulder the way you're swinging your arms around."

"I'm just copying you!" She protested.

"I'm pretty sure I don't look like I'm trying to single-handedly push a ton of bricks when I'm doing it."

"Then show me, show me again. I'll get it this time."

Merlin got ready to create more flames, then stopped. He'd already shown her this way before. When he taught himself new spells from books, pushing through without understanding worked, but it took a lot of energy and time. What really helped was actually understanding what he was doing.

"Elsa, what does it feel like when you use your magic to create ice? What do you think about?"

"I don't know." She'd dropped her arms from the forceful push motion she'd attempted for fire and let them gesture as she thought about it. "I just think of what I want, and it's there."

"Go deeper. What does it feel like to make something that was once warm, cold?"

"It's like drawing the coolness of a breeze or flowing water into myself from the air, making it colder, and then sending it back out. Like my body is some kind of ice chest."

Merlin repeated one of the fire spells, searching his own thoughts and feelings for something similar. And sure enough, there was. Fire came from heat. Heat didn't come from nowhere. He pulled it from the living things around him, from the leftover heat from the sun, or from his own body. It condensed until it was hot enough that he could send it back out — as fire.

"Forget the words for a moment, and just do the same thing you do with ice, but this time, collect the heat, not the cold."

She closed her eyes, hands cupped in front of her. The strands of her untied hair that weren't tucked under the cloak drifted in the cool breeze, and Merlin hoped she could ignore it and focus on the living heat that surrounded them.

"Forbearnan," she said. The fireball that appeared was her strongest one yet. The flames, a tiny glow of light in the darkness, flickered in her palms. Merlin watched their reflection dance in her blue eyes before she closed them again, exhaling with relief.

"I did it."

"That you did," Merlin agreed. "It's a good start."

She let the flame die and dropped her hands. "We should head back."

Merlin turned to walk back in land, but not before reaching for Elsa's hand, remembering how cold they usually were. She accepted his offer, hand slipping into his.

It felt alive. Her skin lacked the amount of heat expected from the average person, but it wasn't deathly cold as it had been. Progress.

"Guess I'm not a corpse come to haunt you after all," Elsa joked as they walked.

"I never doubted you weren't."

"Maybe you didn't, but I think Gwaine might have."

"I might've what?" Gwaine grumbled from his sleeping spot on the ground. "Might've shown promising magical talent? Because, I still haven't given up on that."

"Go back to sleep, Gwaine," Merlin said.

"Fine. Keep your secrets, I'll find out tomorrow, anyway."

If the others noticed anything different with Merlin or Elsa the next morning, they mentioned nothing. Gwaine had forgotten about what he said or saw when he'd been almost asleep. Leon remained steadfast in his mission to get to Arendelle and back as efficiently as possible. Elyan was too concerned with Gwen's sudden change in mood to focus on magic, and Hans showed no change in character whatsoever.

The prisoner let himself be directed to and from his horse, eating and drinking when given food or water, and did it all without visible attempt to escape or even speak. Knowing what Hans was capable of, the behavior was unsettling to all of them.

The most affected was Gwen. She kept glancing nervously at Prince Hans and double checking he couldn't escape after he'd been allowed any amount of freedom.

Around midday, Merlin rode at the back of the group, Gwen at his side. She glanced at him a few times before she gathered the confidence to say anything.

"Merlin, is it possible to use magic without knowing you're using it?"

"Possible? I suppose so. I've used magic without intending to."

"But you always knew what you'd done after you did it."

"It's kind of hard to see an object levitate when you're alone in a room and think, yeah, that's completely normal. Plates carry themselves to the sink all the time, it's nothing to worry about."

"Okay, but what about less obvious magic? Like what Hans can do."

Merlin looked at Prince Hans again. What had he done to get into Gwen's head?

"It might be possible, but I don't know much about Hans' way of magic. I'd never heard of anything quite like it until he turned up. Can I ask why you need to know? We can ask Gaius about it if it's important."

"No!" she said. "I mean, no, it's not important. It's nothing. I'm just being paranoid as usual."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Don't worry yourself, it's nothing."

Gwen's stammer said it definitely wasn't nothing, but she nudged her horse into a trot, catching up with her brother before Merlin could get anything else out of her. Moments later, Merlin felt a vibration from one of his bag, pulled out the mirror, and answered the call.

"Arthur, good to see you. Everything going well?"

He'd been looking ahead at the trail when he asked the question. If he'd been looking at Arthur's face in the glass, he would have known better.

"No. Things are going wrong. Something's happened to my father. Poison or a spell of some kind. Merlin, he's dying and Gaius doesn't have a solution and I don't have any suspect aside from Morgana."

Merlin cursed. "Of course Morgana would make her move when I'm gone. But Arthur, Gaius still has infinite resources to look through. Don't lose hope yet."

"That's not all. The council's concern is growing, and they're torn between wanting me to take the throne and believing my trust in a sorceress queen makes me unfit to rule."

"Okay. Do your best to keep those on your side from straying. And your uncle, I don't like him, but maybe he can be of some help here in keeping their trust. And if all else fails, you could be king soon. Just make your own damn council."

Hope you enjoyed Merlin's POV. I'm going to try posting a second chapter this week again, but if not, I'll be back next Saturday evening again. Thanks for reading.