AN: Hey Guys, I'm sorry for the delay. I had to rewrite some final exams for university because I didn't meet the required credits to graduate. But thankfully that got sorted out and I'll be graduation soon. x
THE DETECTIVE AND ME
CHAPTER TWO
L Returns
On the very same day I regained consciousness, I wanted to lose it again.
Just as he had said, W had returned after thirty minutes. I wanted to ask him if he had called L, but I was still climatizing to everything around me. He carried a shopping bag in his hand, which he emptied onto the bed. Plain cotton underwear in all the colors a girl could ask for, black and white. Five pairs of warm socks, all white. Three pairs of pajamas, this came in more variety, a white nightdress, a white pair of winter pajamas, and a black set of shorts and a vest. And then there were slippers. It seemed like I was expected to live in a perpetual state of almost-bedtime.
"It's just for tonight." said W, "L thought it would be best to give you options to choose from. Luckily, I could have these delivered, but we'll have to go out to the shops if you wanted something more…inspiring."
I shook my head, "No, this is good."
W raised his eyebrows.
"I, uh..." I paused, "thanks."
W smiled and gave me a nod. He proceeded to enter the bathroom, I couldn't see far into it, but I already knew it was much bigger than mine back home. W disappeared behind the door and not too long after, I could hear running water fill up the tub. The bedroom was bigger than my entire studio apartment. From the entrance, a dresser pushed up against a wall, and a full-length mirror to one side. The bed came after that, the covers and pillows softer than I'd ever felt. To my left was a reading area right by the window (the curtains drawn) with two armchairs, a little table, and a fireplace. Then there was a refreshment area to one side, with a mini fridge, and two crystal decanters filled with liquor. Bambi would appreciate the extra space…
That thought…I realized I hadn't seen my dog since I'd woken up. She couldn't still be at the apartment? I tried to think back to whether I'd ended up giving her a bath, but I couldn't remember. Given everything I knew since I woke up, I must've had a medical emergency. But this was admittedly, such an odd place to be taken to. I wondered whether they brought her here with me, I mean they must have. Bambi had been put on my record as an ESA four years ago. Possibly they thought it would be better to give her to someone else to look after until I woke up. Perhaps Biddy? She had become my emergency contact the day after I'd met her. It was possible.
"Leah." W stood at the end of the bed, "I've run you a bath. This will be your first proper bath in a week."
I nodded.
W paused, "I would like to assist you if that's okay. I am a practicing caretaker, amongst other things. And I must tell you that although I would like for you to have the option to help yourself, you won't be able to. Alternatively, if you would rather have me bring you a bowl of water and a washcloth, you could clean yourself in bed if you so pleased."
"You've already filled the tub." I said.
W shook his head, "I should've asked first. That was my fault."
My face started to burn up. At the time I hadn't known why I was so embarrassed. "Maybe…" I looked down at the white gown I was wearing, "could I go like this?"
"That would be absolutely fine dear!" W rounded the bed, "Let me help you out of these." He proceeded to gently removed the oxygen tubes and took the IV out from my arm. "Is it okay if I help you out of bed?"
I nodded.
He started to assist in getting me onto my feet. I nearly stumbled forward, but he supported me well. As we approached the bathroom, the warm steam started to graze my skin, and by the time we were inside we'd been engulfed almost entirely. The bathtub had been filled ¾ of the way, suds, and strawberry scented bubbles were aplenty. W helped lift my first leg over the edge. The next followed and the rest of me too.
I hissed softly.
There were parts of me that ached and burned. I saw bruises, the origins of which I couldn't trace. W sat down on the ledge. In his lap he had a little wooden crate of bathing products. He waited for me to give him a signal to continue, and when I had done so, he turned my back to him. It wasn't long before he started to lather my hair with shampoo. It was so tangled, but W worked gently. Despite his courteousness, I felt my heartrate elevate to an uncomfortable level. It would rise and fall throughout. He washed my body by letting the soap soak through the thin fabric of the gown, but I involuntarily pulled back when he tried to go below my chest. W didn't flinch at all. Instead, he retracted, and continued over my arm. When all was done, and I was as clean as I could be given the circumstances, W helped me out of the tub and immediately wrapped a towel around my body. I only managed to remove the gown once I was back inside the room and W gave me a moment to let it drop off my shoulders and onto the floor whilst he waited in the bathroom.
"You can join me." I called back to him after wrapping the towel tightly around me. He joined me with a smile and lead me back to the bed safely. Out of three options laid out for me, I ended up picking the nightdress because it would be the easiest to put on by myself.
"Will you be okay?" W asked.
I nodded.
"Alright. I'll bring you your supper once it's ready." He bowed his head and started toward the door.
"W."
He paused, hand on doorknob.
"Where's Bambi?"
He looked at me for a moment, "Your dog."
"Yeah?"
He turned to leave, "She's safe. You'll have her again soon."
"Okay. Thank you." I sighed in relief.
W nodded and then left.
Following the bath, I'd fallen back asleep. It seemed as if I was still sleeping off whatever landed me here in the first place. W had woken me up with a hot meal served on a silver tray. It was spinach curry, with rice, potatoes, and grape juice.
"For your iron."
"It's low?"
"We did a blood test when you arrived. You're terribly anemic."
I shook my head, "I shouldn't be surprised, I stopped taking my supplements a while ago."
W raised his eyebrows.
I blushed, "I couldn't afford them anymore."
He nodded empathetically and pushed the tray toward me, "Luckily we have some for you." Behind the glass of juice was a tiny paper cup with three tablets, "The brown one is iron, the blue one for pain, and the orange one is just vitamin C to keep everything happy on the inside. Take them after your meal." He motioned for me to start eating.
I picked up the bowl of green curry. The moment I brought it close enough to my face to smell it, my stomach growled loudly, and I dug into the meal eagerly. A phone started to ring. W reached into his pocket and pulled out the ringing phone.
"I'll have to take this. Eat." W left the room and went to stand in the passage. Initially, I was too preoccupied with the food in front of me to pay attention to what was happening outside the room. But when I heard the muffled voice of W, I thought that it must be L that he was so constantly on the phone with. I could only imagine what type of man he was. It was odd for a stranger to intercept in my life in the way that he seemed to have done. But that only made me think that he was possibly some millionaire philanthropist who went around rescuing the disadvantaged. Alternatively, he could also be a pimp. Both explanations seemed apt.
That night I'd woken up. Kicking and screaming. The pain had become unbearable. But it was not my physical ailments, those were not what hurt the most. In my heart, something had snapped. It was as if I was there where I was all those years ago, watching the nightmare unfold once more.
On the second day, consciousness seemed to be a spell that I could not break. I hadn't slept at all that night. When W had come to greet me with breakfast, he'd found me under the bed. Hiding, afraid of something I couldn't remember. There was hope for me to leave the room, but I eroded whatever confidence W had had in me on the first day. Fits of rage, and sadness, something close to what they could've imagined hysteria to be. And through it all I just wanted Bambi by my side.
"When is he coming back?" I'd cried to W after he'd failed to get me to eat dinner.
"What?"
"When is he coming?"
W shook his head, "Who?"
"L! Can I leave when he gets back? I want to go back home."
W went silent, he watched me from across the room and somehow, I knew that he couldn't tell me. Not because he wasn't permitted, but because he didn't know. Again, I'd been kept up crying.
Over the following days, I could imagine W's patience wearing thin, but he never seemed to waver in kindness at all. That was especially impressive given how I'd slowly grown to hate the care he'd been giving me. It was gradual, but the orderly hours that never varied between days had started to settle in by the end of that week. And I found myself growing restless by each passing hour. Each morning I'd be woken up with breakfast, followed by a routine checkup, and the worst activity…a bath. It was on the third day when W had moved too swiftly when reaching for the soap and I'd instinctively jerked and knocked the wooden crate off the edge of the bathtub. W didn't voice any dissatisfaction, even when he cleaned up all the broken bottles and potent gels. The one thing I seemed to find solace in, through all the upset and sleepless nights, was watching the time pass through the window. That large window's heavy curtains had blocked out a slice of heaven on the first day. It was W who opened it up to let the fresh air in, and I saw the countryside stretch out for miles and miles. A dense forest a distance away and looming grey clouds almost every hour. But it was peaceful, sometimes the breeze whistled through the trees and the birds fluttered and chirped as if they wished to speak. The nights were the worst, I'd be kept up by my own thoughts, and nightmares disguised as memories…and in the morning, I'd forget it all again.
On the seventh day, despite my awful behavior, W had brought me a sweet breakfast and with it, a handwritten card and small giftwrapped box.
"After your breakfast." W instructed when he saw me eyeing the gift more earnestly than the food in front of me. I obliged. The crisp waffles and warm sugary syrup reminded me of the Sunday waffle specials we'd have at Urban, but although it reminded me of my time there, it didn't seem to evoke much sentiment. When I was full, I pushed the half-eaten plate away, and W seemed satisfied that I'd at least tried. "As promised."
I swallowed, the sugar still thick on my pallet. When I took the box from W, my head seemed to spin with excitement. But first I'd read the card…
I've heard you've been difficult. Get some fresh air and stretch your legs today. I'll call you soon.
—L
I looked up at W, he smiled back.
"Open it."
My hands trembled as I tore the thin paper off the box. Inside it was a flip phone. It looked new and expensive.
W chuckled, "I'll let you have your morning. We can clean you up later, or not at all if you're not in the mood. But I'll come fetch you some time after you've had your lunch."
I paused, "For?"
W smiled, "For your walk. L wants you to get out of this room today."
I perked up, "Where to?"
He shrugged, "Just around the estate. Not too far. You're still not fully recovered."
My shoulders slumped. It had been a week and I still hadn't been made aware of what exactly I was recovering from.
"Don't worry. I can assure you that L is committed to rehabilitating you fully. I understand that it's been hard, and possibly grueling since you've woken up. But he doesn't want me to make rash decisions on his behalf. Not until he's gotten a look at you. When he returns, the process will be a lot smoother, and you might find it to be more enjoyable." W gently placed his hand on my shoulder and for the first time, I hadn't flinched because of his touch. "There are clothes for you in the wardrobe to choose from. Nothing extravagant. Just something more suitable for the outside." He smiled. I returned the gesture, and he took that as his cue to leave, removing the mornings breakfast too.
When I was alone again, I found myself more enamored with the printed card than the new cell phone. These were the first words he'd given me. Still not spoken, but somehow it was loud in my head. I couldn't pick apart the tone, was he angry? Annoyed possibly? The word 'difficult' made me feel guilty. As if he'd managed to shame me before we've even met. This made me nervous. What would he say to me when we'd eventually speak for the first time? And that wouldn't be far from now. I'll call you soon…how soon? And then the enigmatic sign off with a single initial…L. He was so curt. Blunt, and gently commanding. Or was he being playful? After seven days, the mystery of everything was catching up to me.
I got up from the bed, my mobility had slowly been coming back to me, and went to check the wardrobe to investigate W's claims. Inside were a handful of neatly hung garments. The price tags had been removed, but I could tell in the scent and crispness of the material that it was all new. I don't know when this was done, but the wardrobe had been empty the day before. The only thing that caught my attention, was a long soft pink dress. It was simple, light, and I knew I'd be comfortable moving in it. And after days of wearing white or black, the color was inviting.
It was half past three when W had come back to fetch me from my room. Lunch was a chore; I was too nervous to eat. Excited to experience what I'd been watching from my window, but anxious about the possible phone call that awaited.
"What a lovely choice." W nodded in approval upon seeing me adorned in pink.
I blushed, "The other things seemed like a lot of effort."
Truthfully, I had considered wearing the jeans and jumper, or the skirt and coat, but pants might've been a struggle on my own, and the skirt was too short. So, I had opted for my original choice, the dress, and a beige cardigan for warmth. Without much further delay, W started to lead me from the room into the passage. It stretched farther down than I expected and diverged in opposite directions like a labyrinth.
"You may hold onto my arm if you wish. But you're doing quite well from what I can see." W said as we turned left. There were a copious number of closed doors. The house was laden with wooden floors and ornamental wallpaper. Idle pieces of furniture, adornments, and pot plants everywhere. It reminded me of those old-fashioned Victorian dollhouses I used to play with. We descended a central staircase, the foyer spanned upwards three stories tall, an enormous chandelier hung from the ceiling. "This way." W lead me with a gentle hand on my shoulder, and we moved through the parlor room (possibly the most decorated room in the house), where we exited from a side door and found ourselves out in the open. The cool fresh air hit me like a thousand caresses. My eyes strained under the thick grey clouds that masked the sun. My struggle for vision hadn't deterred my gait, we walked over a stone path, the gravel crunched under my shoes.
"How's the view from down here?" W asked once we'd gained some distance from the house. I looked back and saw where I'd been living for the past two weeks for the first time. It was grand. The exterior was everything you'd expect from observing the interior. Old, English, and fitting for the countryside. Three stories, excluding the attic, stone walls, large Victorian windows, and vines that creeped up against the entire house. I'd never seen a house like this up close, never mind stayed in one. W chuckled, "He's unexpectedly particular about these things."
"Hmm?" I looked back at W who remained smiling.
"A creature of comfort. L."
I paused, "I don't know what to expect of him."
W shrugged, "He's surprising, that's all."
"Is this the only house…in this area?" I couldn't see past the dense forests that appeared to encircle the estate.
"Hmm." W deliberated, "Originally, it was just this three-hundred-acre plot and estate. He eventually bought out all the neighbors, not wanting to risk being found. I've lost count over the years."
"He doesn't want to be found?" I wondered for a moment if my life had been placed in the hands of a criminal, W saw this and laughed.
"No, it's not what you think. He's just a very important man." W looked at me reassuringly and I only accepted his explanation because to me, the alternative was an exhausting prospect I wouldn't be able to fight against in any case. W proceeded to gesture toward our right, "If you continue that way, you'll find the formal garden. L doesn't spend much time outside, but he's spent a lot of resources restoring and maintaining that section of the estate. I think you'll enjoy it."
When I looked over to where W was referring to, I could see in the distance the entrance to a circular maze of greenery.
"I'll come and find you at five o'clock. Explore as much as you want, you can even come back earlier if you'd like. If anything happens, there is only one number loaded onto the phone you have. Call it, and I'll answer."
I nodded. Without further formalities, W took off, and made his way back to the house. It didn't take long for me to venture toward the garden. In the city, there wasn't much nature to explore beside the occasional park. That's not to say I was one to yearn for nature, but it was expressly human to want to go back to that from time to time. I entered the maze of hedges and heard the gentle trickling of water. Intricate paths of water had been constructed into the ground. As I walked over the stone laden pathway, I passed ornate sculptures and angelic statues from a period long past, and I felt as if those cemented cherubs watched over me as I explored the labyrinth. The closer I seemed to get to the center, the louder the sound of splashing water became. I finally found out why, twenty minutes in, a grand circular fountain was the center piece of it all. I sat on the edge of the fountain and dipped my fingertips in the clear water. A frog popped its head out from between two lily pads and I nearly jumped back startled. The little frogged hopped onto the ledge beside me.
"Where are your friends?"
It remained silent.
"Hmm." I turned away. There were a few insects and critters in my line of sight and thought perhaps I should take one of them hostage just to force the frog to speak. A cold breeze swept over the area, and I shivered, putting my hands in my pockets to warm them up. In the right-hand pocket, my hand enveloped the compact device, when I took it out, I checked the time and saw that it was four fifteen. It wouldn't be long before W would come looking for me. What else was I meant to do beside stretch my legs and get fresh air? Not much else was said to me, still I felt myself waiting in anticipation. I'll call you soon. But soon could mean tonight, tomorrow, next week, or never. I put the phone next to me and left it there while I collected rocks to throw in the fountain. Five minutes had passed, and nothing. Nine stones hit the water and sunk to the bottom of the fountain, and still nothing. Three laps around the center, it was radio silence. When I checked the time again it was four forty-five.
"I guess soon means not now." I said to the frog who remained in the same spot. I got up from the ground to dust myself off and placed the phone back into my pocket. "Goodbye." I waved back at the green thing. When I turned to leave, just then…
Ring. Ring. Ring.
The phone vibrated, I took it out and looked at the way it lit up with an unknown number. I don't know how long I watched it ring, but it eventually died, and that's when I snapped out of the trance I'd been put in.
"Oh wait, shit!" I flipped it open to check the call log, how could I just freeze like that! I was about to kick myself for my idiocy but then…
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Click.
"Hello?" I blurted out without hesitation.
There was a pause on the other side of the line.
"Um, hello?" I repeated, nervous.
"Why didn't you answer the first time?" A measured voice spoke from the other side, and my heartrate quickened. It was him.
I hesitated, "I—um…"
"Were you caught up with something?" He asked, this time more emotion, accusatory almost.
"No! I—I thought I imagined it." My face went hot, I was flustered.
I might've heard a small breath be let out in amusement, but it was so small that I couldn't be sure, "You're not equipped with a filter, are you?" he resumed in his measured tone, and when he garnered no response, he proceeded with formalities "Hello. You don't have to be nervous."
I sat back down on the edge of the fountain, "It feels like I'm in trouble."
"You should be if I'm being honest, you've caused my friend a lot of stress in the past week."
I let out a small sigh, troubled by what could possibly be the consequences for my misdemeanor.
"You're not though." He continued, "It's okay. You've been through a lot, you're here to get better, and that will sometimes look the way it does now."
"Why are you telling me this?"
He paused, and sighed, "Because I have to. Keeping you in the dark will only be harmful."
"So, tell me what happened." The desperation in my voice was evident.
He softened, only slightly, "Not yet."
I let out a ragged breath.
"I'll be home soon. I just wanted to introduce myself in the meantime, somehow. I thought it would provide…something."
"Okay, what's your name then?"
He paused, "Call me L."
The frustration threatened to boil over in my chest, "You didn't have to call me to tell me that. W already did."
He might've sighed then too, "Listen to W."
"Why?" the tears threatened to run down my cheeks.
"Because listening to him is like listening to me." He was firm in this claim, "You're not eating well, you're not sleeping well, do you want to continue with that?"
He waited for a response; I didn't give one.
"Leah." He said gently, "I'll answer as much as I can when I get home."
"When is that?"
"Soon. I can't say exactly, but very soon."
A moment of silence passed between us.
"I have to go now. Keep the phone."
"Wait!" I bit my lip, his silence beckoned me to speak, "When can I have my dog back? W said she's safe and I believe him…I just miss her."
There was a long silence that followed, I was about to repeat the question, when I heard a restrained yet sharp inhale on the other end, "I'll talk to W."
"Thank you—"
"Goodbye." He hung up before I could return the greeting.
I looked at the phone, it was four forty-eight. We'd only spoken for three minutes. I went into the contact list and saw W's number saved just as he had said. I dialed his number to let him know I was ready to come back, but instead of ringing, it said the other line was busy. I hadn't thought L would talk to W immediately, but the sooner the better. If I was allowed to spend time outside, it would be infinitely better if I had Bambi with me. The walk back was accompanied with a chillier breeze than before, the clouds darkened the closer I got to the house. Halfway there, the clouds rumbled, and broke, little droplets of rain pattered down gently, and only picked up after a loud boom a and a bolt of light far into the distance. My pace quickened, by the time I got back to the house, everything of me had been drenched. And a stiff silhouette waited for me in the frame of the backdoor. He rushed out to meet me ten meters from the house with an umbrella to shield me, but it was far too late.
"My apologies!" He yelled over the sound of rain, "L had called me urgently."
"Yeah?" I yelled too.
"He'll be back by Wednesday!" W pushed me through the final stretch and got me into the house, the parlor had been heated up by a crackling fire. "I need to get you in a warm bath before you catch a cold."
"Wednesday? That's in five days." I said as I was led up the stairs, "He told me he couldn't say when."
"Well, I guess he could after all." W pushed me through the bedroom and rushed me into the bathroom. The bathtub was quickly filled with warm water.
I threw the drenched cardigan to one side, I shivered, "What changed?"
W was silent.
"Is everything ok?" I tilted my head at W, but he wouldn't look up from the running water.
He remained frozen in that position, crouching over the bathtub, "I am not permitted to say at this point in time."
W closed the taps and without another word he left me to be alone. I might've witnessed a tinge of regret in his downcast eyes as he passed me, but I couldn't be sure as I'd never seen him be anything other than cordial.
The five days that followed, before L was meant to return, was the most anxious I'd ever been in my entire life. Following our first and only conversation, the impression that I was left with was that this was not a man that possessed many words of comfort. Was that an indication of something more brutal and unforgiving beneath the surface? Was the kindness and hospitality I'd been shown thus far a rooze to get me comfortable? These were the new thoughts that kept me awake at night. All in all, sleep evaded me throughout. And it seemed as if mine was not the only mind plagued with the mysterious homeowner's return. W had retracted from whatever of familiarity we'd established between the two of us. He was quieter, sometimes even grim in his expressions, but I could tell that he was trying his hardest to not let it show.
My days had lengthened to include more recreation activities than before. The walk and garden visitations became a daily venture, along with reading in the parlor, watching TV in the living room, and taking lunches and dinners in the dining room. Supposedly, it was W's suggestion to open the house up to me even more. Three days before L's return, W had allowed me to watch a movie after dinner. E.T. The Extra Terrestrial, and I'd fallen asleep on the coach three quarters into the movie. I'd woken up the next morning in bed, so I assumed W had carried me upstairs.
On the Wednesday, from morning till evening. Both W and I appeared more nervous than all other days combined. W did a better job of hiding it though, but I wondered why he'd gradually appeared more anxious as the days went on. I mean, I had a reason to be frightened about what could possibly be thrown in my direction, W was supposedly the close companion of the soon to be returned man. So, what was there for him to fear? That evening, W prepared a three-course meal of varying vegetable dishes. The healthiest he'd ever cooked. We'd been eating together at the dining table for the past five days; this was the first night it was completely silent. After dinner, W cleaned up and joined me in the parlor to teach me how to needle point. Possibly the worst activity, my hands trembled so much I'd made a real mess out of it all. Three hours of painstaking needle work before the bright lights, and gentle rumble, of a car approached the house. My eyes immediately shot up to look through the window, it was misty and fogged up from the rain outside. W left my side; he grabbed an umbrella from the rack and went out the front door. It was now just passed ten o'clock. I watched that front door, slightly ajar, the lights of the running car spilled inside, along with the rainwater that fell from the sky.
I took a deep breath. That day was the first day I could adequately wash and clothe myself on my own. My sores and bruises had mostly healed by then, and I'd cleaned myself up and gotten dressed in a long denim skirt and knitted top right before dinner. I wanted to look nice. When I heard the car door open and close, I got up and slowly made my way to the foyer. Two sets of footsteps approached the house. My heart was in my stomach. W reentered, and behind him, shielded by the umbrella…
A mane of raven black hair, untamed, slightly wet. His eyes shielded from mine. The rest of him was crooked. He walked with a forward lean; his feet struggled to lift off the floor. To my shock his feet were bare and covered in mud. When W took a moment to shake off the umbrella and return it to the rack, L walked on. As he approached me, his eyes remained fixed on the ground. Except he wasn't approaching me at all, instead he stopped a meter to my right in front of the table to inspect the fruit bowl. He wavered for a moment, and then snatched the reddest apple from the lot, and held it at the stem with his thumb and forefinger. I took one step in his direction before he lifted his hand to stop me. I froze. He took a big bite from his apple, chewed, and swallowed.
"Sunday." He said as he turned the apple over in his hand. Before I could understand what he had meant, he left the table and proceeded to ascend the stairs with some difficulty. I was speechless.
This was L?
I'd gone to bed confused and admittedly upset. Five days in waiting and I'd only gotten one word out of him. I just had so many questions, and he was not willing to talk then. W had explained to me the next morning why that had happened…
"L's a very important man because his job is very important. When he's away he works so hard he barely sleeps, he eats horribly, and he neglects any form of selfcare. All just so he can do his job. When he gets back, he needs a few days to sleep, eat better, and rest his brain without the fog of anything else. It's not personal at all. He'll see you Sunday."
And true to his word, the three days that followed were as shocking as I'd imagined. The Thursday, I was out of bed far sooner than usual, bathed and dressed by the time W brought me my breakfast. I thought that perhaps if I made myself visible in the house, I was more likely to run into L. But that entire day that I spent in the parlor, L was nowhere to be seen. It was before dinner, W carried a basket that was overflowing with towels and fresh clothes, and I'd past him at the bottom of the stairs and saw the towels stacked on top fall to the ground. I picked up the two fluffy white towels and held them in my arms.
"You want to help me carry this?" W asked.
I nodded.
W chuckled, proceeded to continue up the stairs and so I followed him. I'd never been to the third floor before, there was no need. But this time W led me all the way up the stairs, we turned into the righthand passage and continued down for a while longer. When we reached the last door, W turned to me.
"This is the master bedroom. I'm sure you know who stays here." W peered down at me in amusement. He'd seen how I'd been watching every door expecting the master of the house to walk through it at any given moment.
"I haven't seen him around." I said.
W shook his head, "He's been asleep all day."
I nodded and looked at the closed door expectantly.
"Miss Leah," W spoke softly, "Thank you for helping me carry his things, but he wouldn't want you to go past this point."
I blushed, of course he wouldn't want me to just walk through his room. I nodded in understanding and gave W his towels back.
W smiled, "Thank you."
I turned to leave, had made my way halfway down the passage when I heard W go through the door. When I was certain W had entered the room, I turned back around and quietly made my way back to the master bedroom. W had left the door slightly ajar, in the same fashion he would leave mine in. W's soft voice and shuffling was heard from the other side. I put my hand against the door and slowly moved it forward only a few millimeters at a time. When I could finally peak into the room, it was kept so dark I almost couldn't see anything. The master bedroom must've been twice as big as the one I'd been staying in. Finally, I saw W next to the massive bed. The covers were completely messed up and covered a single body. W said something to the man who laid in bed, and he groaned in response. W then assisted him in getting to his feet, the covers fell back, and I saw his pale white skin exposed, and I quickly hid behind the door. My face burnt hot; I'd just seen L's butt. When I heard water filling the bathtub, I took it as my cue to leave and quietly skipped back down the passage.
On Friday, I'd offered to help W make L's breakfast. I expected something like what W had been serving me all this time, if not grander, but instead W made me peel and chop up a mixture of fruits and vegetables. When that was finished, we put it all in a blender, with honey and cold water and blended it until it was a smooth liquid.
"Yuck!" I said as W poured the entire mixture into a tall glass.
W chuckled, "Yes, yuck. Unfortunately, he must try and clean out his system, this is all he can stomach for the next few days.
"Why?" I looked at the green mixture in disgust, and somehow pitied him.
"He tends to binge sugar and junk food while he works. It keeps him awake, and he says it helps him think." W shrugged, "But it's not sustainable, sometimes he returns from especially long work trips and empties his guts for three days straight."
"Chicken soup could be a better alternative to this though?" I said.
"I'm surprise you suggested that. Have you seen or even had any meat since you arrived here?" W phrased it as if it were a rhetorical question, but I thought the answer was obvious.
"I'm vegetarian?" I said, "That's why my iron's so low."
W nodded, "So is L. Hates the taste, hates the smell, doesn't like the way it slows him down."
I looked at W surprised, somehow that hadn't occurred to me. W put the smoothie onto a tray with the day's paper on it. The headline read, World Renowned Detective's Controversial Bust: Catching the Belgium Red Light Killer.
"Is he going to join us at dinner at least?" I followed W up the stairs.
"Not today."
"Tomorrow?
W smiled, amused, "Sunday."
W made the final turn down the third-floor passage, when I heard the door close behind him, I moved quickly to stand at the bedroom door. W and L spoke between each other, and I strained my ears to listen in.
"The public opinion is still in your favor. It was a risky move, but it paid off." W said
L sighed, he was annoyed, "You didn't leave me much choice. Had to jump the gun on a hunch and sent the taskforce into a man's house without a warrant, you know why I don't like pulling that crap."
"You wouldn't have saved that girl if you waited longer."
"Coincidence. If he was just at home watching TV it would've unfolded differently."
"You've used unlawful methods before—"
L quickly interrupted, "Those are always thought through, everything weighed and considered. But too many infractions, and the tide changes. I'll become public enemy number one if I don't keep the law on my side."
W remained silent.
L sighed, "You've made a mess of things here, I don't know what you expected from me."
"I'm sorry, what could I do?" W shuffled about the room. The way they spoke to each other, it was like they'd been friends for years.
"Do as I ask? Don't give answers to questions you're not supposed to answer. That was one of them—"
The door creaked. I pulled back.
"Shit." I murmured under my breath. Just when I wanted to bolt, the door swung open, and W stared down at me in shock. My face burned bright.
"W." the low measured voice came from inside, "Leave us a moment."
W nodded and left the room, the moment he'd turn down the passage, the man inside got my attention once again by clearing his throat.
"Come inside."
My heartrate quickened; I'd been caught red handed.
"Come on." L beckoned again.
I investigated the room, there was a single light that came from a table lamp. The bed was empty, instead he sat in an armchair reading the paper with his back toward me. Slowly, I walked toward him and stopped a few steps behind him. This wasn't good enough for him, so he gestured with his hand to come forward and so I did. I stood in front him and saw him fully for the first time since that night. His long hair, still raven black, had been cleaned and combed out, so it fell more naturally around his face. His pale skin appeared smooth and translucent, the dark circles under his eyes were indicative of many sleepless nights. Sharp features, and no discernible emotion on his face. He hadn't looked up from the paper since I'd entered the room, after a moment more, he finally put it down on the coffee table between us. When he met my gaze, I looked away shyly, his deep black eyes were strong and intimidating.
"Why are you eavesdropping?" He asked, bored, in that same measured tone he seemed to address everyone in. He sat back and waited for my response, but I shrugged instead. "I said I'll speak to you on Sunday. I want to answer your questions just as much as you want to ask them. Just relax for a moment. I need to be alone—" He closed his eyes and caught his head in his palm, and in that moment he appeared sickly. L sighed and shook his head. He got up and took his glass of green sludge and gulped the entire thing down. I watched him closely, his physique was just as lean as I remembered, but he stood taller this time. Not as crouched over as before, albeit still crooked. His black pajama pants clung to his hips, and the thin maroon robe had come undone and exposed the front bit of his torso. I looked down at the floor. L put the cup back down and passed me on his way across the room. I heard him rummaging in his draw, once he found what he was looking for he made his way back and came to stand in front of me. "Here. Take it." I couldn't manage to look up from the floor, but then I felt a cold hand take mine and fold it over a hardcover.
"What's this?" I looked up at him and his dark eyes pierced mine.
"A diary." He said.
I inspected it in my hands and saw the simple brown cover, the blank pages inside, and a black pen attached to the spine, "Did you get this for me?"
"Yes." He sat back down in his chair.
"Um…" I was flattered, "Thank you."
L nodded, I smiled, and he turned his gaze toward the clock.
"Now stop bothering me. Don't listen in on conversations anymore." He commanded and I felt the wind knocked out of me by how blunt he was. I left his room quickly; with the gift he'd given held close to my chest. My head spun from that interaction alone.
That night, for the first time I wasn't kept up in complete fear. Instead, I kept my eyes glued to the blank pages of my diary. I thought I'd write about what had been happened in the past three weeks, but there were so many blank spots that I couldn't tell where to start. It was a kind gesture, this gift, one I didn't want wasted on me. Without realizing, I'd kept myself up until three in the morning. The house was so quiet at night, I knew I was the only one still active. But my eyes were heavy, and for the first time I felt as if I could go to sleep without fighting. Just as I pulled the covers back, a loud crash emitted through the passages. I ran to my door and went in the direction of the commotion. If this place was getting broken into, it was best that I went to wake W. But when I'd gotten to the stairs, instead of an intruder, L stood at the very top, and lying all the way at the bottom of the staircase, was a broken laptop. I hid close to the wall, unsure what to make of what happened. L just stared blankly ahead, whatever he saw, was not in front of him.
"L." W had already been awoken and came up behind the man in question, but when he placed his hand on L's shoulder, the younger man recoiled and pushed his hand away. "Alright now, come with me." In trying to usher L away from the staircase, W had garnered a violent reaction from him. L recoiled from W's grasp and flipped a small table across the passage, the vase and ornaments crashed into the floor and shattered. W stood frozen, the only sound that could be heard, was L's heavy breathing. They must've stood there for over a minute, before L looked up at W, who offered a sympathetic look and stepped aside to allow the young man to pass. As L walked back to his room, for only a second, his eyes flickered down to meet mine, but before I could offer some silent comfort, he'd turned into the other passage and disappeared from my line of sight. W remained where he stood, sadness seeped into the atmosphere as he looked down at the mess before him and I went back to my room, not wanting to make my presence more known.
That night I had fallen asleep, but with the image of the troubled man in my dreams.
When it was finally Sunday, I'd woken up not knowing what to expect. I hadn't seen or spoken to L since I saw him standing at the top of the staircase. He'd kept himself locked in his room, only W permitted to even be on the third floor. W had asked me if I'd been woken up by anything in the night, I'd lied and said I slept straight through. But it was something I couldn't forget. So, on that Sunday morning, I'd left the room in just my white night dress. The one I'd worn the first night I could pick my clothes. It was sheath, knee length, and the most comfortable garment I had now. W had told me we'd start taking all our meals in the dining room from today. But I didn't think that would included L. Naturally when I rounded the corner into the room, and met the dark gaze of the young man, my heartbeat immediately quickened.
"Sit." L gestured to the seat adjacent to him. The moment I obliged; his attention went back to skimming the day's paper. He sat in a very odd position, one foot on the ground, the other on the chair with his knee almost reaching his chin. His hair had been swept out of his face, it made him look so young, especially when he'd switch between turning the page and biting the nail on his thumb. He seemed to be concentrating hard, two deep wrinkles prominent between his furrowed brows. When he looked up from the paper, his wide black eyes expressed curiosity and I realized I'd been staring at him for far too long.
"Sorry." I looked away.
He shrugged, "Don't be. People have told me I'm quite odd looking."
I didn't agree, he was just hard not to look at under the circumstances, "Me too."
He put the paper down, "You?"
I nodded, "When I was younger."
A slight upward turn of his mouth might've been his version of a smile, "I'm sure."
Silence passed between us, and I looked around the room, "Where's W?"
L had gone back to his paper, "I sent him to the shops. It's an hour there and back. He left just before you came down."
"Oh."
"If you can't wait, I could make you something."
I looked back at him, he waited for an answer, "That's okay."
"Let me know when you change your mind."
Several moments of silence passed.
"You could just ask me." said L.
We looked at each other.
I cleared my throat, "Why am I here?"
L put the paper on the floor, "To get better."
"From?"
L paused, "You tried to hurt yourself."
I shook my head, "No?"
L didn't waver, nor did he let the serious tone of it all be undercut by denial.
I gasped, "Really?"
He nodded.
I took a moment to take it in, tried to remember what had happened, "Why?"
"Your complex PTSD was aggravated quite badly the day after your birthday." He reached over to touch my shoulder but withdrew quickly again. My birthday…I was turning eighteen, it must've passed then. What happened that day? I couldn't remember, the only thing I could recall were the plans Biddy and Jethro had made well in advance. Did we end up doing what we'd wanted to do that night?
"Okay." I let out a heavy sigh, "That's not so far-fetched. Although I haven't had a major incident in over a year and a half, I had to stop going to therapy because it was too expensive." I leaned back in my chair, it did make some sense, although I couldn't piece everything together on my own, "So is this place like a…rehabilitation center? I can't afford anything like this you know."
L shook his head, "It doesn't cost anything."
"It can't be free."
"This isn't how you negotiate."
I looked down at the table, "So if you know about my complex PTSD, you know about my ESA."
"Yes."
"So where is she?" I looked up at L, but his expression had hardened, "When can I have her back?"
L looked down, his jaw hardened, and he placed both feet on the ground so he could lean closer toward me, "Leah."
"Yes?" I froze, he was so close now.
"Listen carefully." He continued in a soft register, "Your dog—Bambi, she's dead."
I paused, "What? No."
"Yes." He took my hand in his, "The day after your birthday, your apartment had been broken into and robbed. The burglars had drowned her in the sink, possibly to stop her from barking and alerting the neighbors."
I pulled my hand away from him and shook my head, "No."
"Leah, listen to me."
"No. It's not true."
L's speech quickened, "I'm sorry that W told you something contrary to the truth, I warned him not to do that, but he couldn't think of what else to tell you—"
I started to breathe heavily, "No, no, no…you're lying—"
"I know this must be the worst thing to hear right now, but I promise it'll be okay—" L tried to take my hand again, but I shot up from the table.
"Stop!" I started to cry, "Why are you doing this?"
L got up from his seat and walked toward me, but I backed away.
"No!" I held my hands up, "Let me go. I want to go home!" I ran out the dining room and up to my room. By then I was sobbing, the pain in my heart insurmountable. I rushed to the bathroom and washed my tears away in the sink. My eyes were red and puffy, the cold water ran over my hands, but when I looked down…what I saw took the wind out of me, and I found myself on the floor. The sink suddenly began to overflow, the water spread across the floor and reached my feet. I'd seen Bambi's lifeless body…that was the last I'd seen of her. And as I screamed, two strong arms wrapped around my torso and lifted me from behind. I was dragged back to my bed and left there…crying.
The last thing I saw, was L's silhouette at my door as he left me to be alone.
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