Chapter 31

Eddie had sniffed at the daybed for quite some time, but didn't find fault with it and after an approving nod from Steve, he jumped onto it and made himself comfortable on the blanket Danny had put there for him.
The two men had eaten dinner consisting of a big salad and a few stripes of baked chicken before they started to watch a movie.
"Danny?" Steve asked after they were about an hour into it. "Do you mind if we try the couch out tonight?"
"You good?" Danny asked immediately concerned that Steve was dealing with something big again.
"Yes, I am. Don't worry. I just thought it would be nice." Steve reassured.
"Then I am glad you've asked. That way I didn't need to do that." Danny smiled.
Steve smiled back. "Very funny. But I am glad I've asked too."

When the movie was over both men went to their rooms and returned with their bed linen. Eddie was watching them with some kind of curiosity. When he realized what the two humans were up to, he got really excited, wagged his tail and jumped onto and off the day bed several times.

The two men friends lay down on their bedsides , covered themselves with their blankets and closed their eyes, listening to each other's breathing. Steve fell asleep almost immediately, Danny took a little longer to do so. He had thought about their afternoon conversation. He had really liked Steve's plan and although he still didn't know if HPD had such a position, he was already asking himself if this even was something for him. But he fell asleep before he had an answer.

Over the next three months Dr. Andrews slowly reduced Steve's sleeping medication. He told him to use the full dosage though if he couldn't fall asleep at all or if he had a bad day. Those days were much less than in the beginning, but he had one almost every other week. Sometimes because the one-on-one had triggered something, sometimes one or the other feeling just overwhelmed him – like being a witness of both his parents' death.
He still wasn't able to eat much on those days – if at all – but Danny could at least always coax him into drinking some more than usual.
Steve had his anger and rage under control now. The feeling was still there from time to time, but he was able to suppress the outburst. Still, he tried to withdraw himself on those days, afraid that he would yell at Danny again, because he felt pestered, although he knew his friend meant well.
Of course, Danny had noticed and he also knew why Steve was doing it. At first, he had let him then he had sent Eddie into Steve's room.
Of course, Steve knew who had let the quadruped in and he also knew why Danny was doing it. His friend's and the dog's affection touched him so much that it made him cry into Eddie's fur until he fell asleep.
When Eddie had left the room "to tell" Danny that the SEAL was sleeping now, the detective noticed the wetness. He went into the room to look if his friend was really asleep. He was – even peacefully so far. Danny adjusted the blanket, watched a moment and left again, leaving the door ajar and telling Eddie to stay put on his way out though.

Another time Steve had gone outside. He had stood at the beach, had watched the waves and the ocean. He had inhaled the salty air and when he had felt better, he had just sat down – in the sand not in one of the chairs. He had sat there for two hours and had barely moved before Danny had gone outside as well, bringing cold ginger ale for the both of them and sitting down next to his friend.
Danny would have loved to give Steve a beer – because it was usually the time for them to relax – but although they were reducing the sleeping pills, Steve was still on the full dose of antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication.
"You good?" Danny had asked the SEAL after the latter had taken a few sips.
"I guess…'s just a bad day. You know they are still coming – despite the meds," he answered and took another sip.
They had sat on the beach for another two hours, spending most of the time in silence which Steve was thankful for – as well as for the company. Then they went inside to eat something, but soon after Steve felt the need to be outside again.
It had already been getting dark when Danny had finally been able to persuade his friend to come in, take a sleeping pill and wake up to a better day the next morning.
They had used the couch that night, sleeping close and being watched over by Eddie.

The last time it had happened, Grace had been there. It had been a weekend and both men had slept in their rooms. Grace was supposed to arrive at ten am and they had wanted to eat breakfast together.
Steve and Danny had planned to get up at 8:30 to prepare their meal.
When Steve hadn't been up at 9:00, Danny had gone upstairs to take a look. It wasn't unusual for Steve to get up after 9:30, but when they had planned something, he was usually on time.
Danny had known something wasn't right the moment he had opened the door. His friend was caught in a nightmare and the way the bed looked for quite some time.
The blanket was on the floor, Steve's shirt soaked in sweat, the SEAL himself was lying across the bed and his fists were clenched.
Danny had started to talk to him in a low voice at first, then he had increased the volume – just enough to get a reaction.
Steve had looked at his friend in confusion – just like waking up from a nightmare a few months back he knew who Danny was, but not why he was in this godawful place.
The moment Danny had noticed Steve had recognized him he had sat at the edge of the bed, taking one of his friends hands in his.
"It was a dream Steve. You are safe – at home."
After Danny had repeated the sentence a few times, Steve had finally squeezed back, whispering "'kay."
Then he had started to shiver, hands trembling, squeezing Danny's involuntarily.
Although Danny had known the shivering had nothing to do with being cold, he had spread the blanket back over his friend.
"Babe! You hear me? It's okay. It was a dream. I am here."
When the trembling and shivering had stopped, Danny asked in a soft voice "Wanna talk about it?"
"J…Jones, Peter…S…Sam. And they…they had you too."
"We hadn't known each other then."
"…had in my dream. You…you…were next in…in the circle. Wanted to…be…behead…" The SEAL hadn't been able to finish the sentence, shivering and trembling had returned and no matter what Danny had said, it hadn't been enough to calm his friend. He had passed out from the stress – in Danny's arms.
Danny had sat with him, feeling sorry for his friend and silently crying until Steve's heart rate had returned to a normal pace, then he had put him into the recovery position – just in case – and five minutes later Grace had knocked at the door.
Father and daughter had eaten alone. Danny had explained what had happened and although Grace had felt sorry, there hadn't been anything she could have done about it.
Steve had slept for almost three hours and hadn't been able to get up for another two.
He had been sorry and ashamed – not for his feelings but because he had shattered their plans.
Danny had let Eddie into the room earlier – who had immediately jumped onto the bed, putting his head on his master's hip.
And it had been the dog who had alerted Grace and Danny after Steve hadn't stood up although he had been awake for quite some time.
"I'll go," Grace had said.
She had knocked on the door frame and had entered the room slowly.
"Hey, uncle Steve," she said in a low voice.
"'m sorry Grace. Didn't want to ruin your day," he replied hoarsely.
"You didn't." She had sat down at the edge of the bed.
"There is still plenty of time left." She put one of her hands on one of his and squeezed slightly, just like her dad had done a few hours earlier.
"And don't be. I know you are going through a lot at the moment. But whatever you think, you are a great friend for my father and you saved my life when you had helped making my mother stay here and when you had saved my Danno from prison in Columbia. I will never forget that.
Those days had been the worst of my life so far, but your reassuring words and your promise to get him out of there had made it easier for me. I had trusted you and your words – and rightly so. I'd never told you, but I had thought I'd never see my dad again. Knowing you had his back made me believe in the good again."
She had squeezed his hand a second time and had pressed a kiss on his forehead.
"Thank you for never letting me lose hope. I love you uncle Steve."
Steve had been touched and the tears that had formed in his eyes hadn't been out of sadness this time. It had been gratefulness and joy for having people like the Williams-family in his life, people who were making him part of their family.
"Thanks Grace," he answered with a breaking voice.
"You're very welcome." She kissed his forehead again. "Just come down when you are ready. If you don't feel like it today, it is no problem. I can totally understand you."
She was about to get up when Steve grabbed her arm and sat up.
"Grace?"
"Yes, uncle Steve?"
"I…I've made a present for your dad. I had wanted to give it to him when I'm completely of my meds, but…but now I think I'd like to give it to him today. It's not wrapped yet though. Would you mind having a look at it and tell me what you think?"
Grace smiled "I´d love that."