"Is it, Monika?!" I asked again.
She was silent, as if by limiting her breathing and her reactions, it would be as if she wasn't there at all. My words echoed across the room and as they faded into nothingness, my heart raced; her silence being its own answer.
Slowly, she opened her eyes and seemed to be transfixed in the cosmos outside. Her emerald gaze neither anxious or frantic as if she was trying to come up with an answer or a convincing excuse, instead her stare was just lost among the stars, like the very room we stood on.
The silence in the room was only disturbed by the sound of my breathing for what felt like an eternity when a voice finally spoke out, "You almost made me feel sorry for you, you know?" The voice in the back of my mind mused, but this time his words seemed to echo not just inside my head but also across the room itself, "That little sob story of yours, it almost makes it seem like you had no choice. But now I remember everything… Everything you did to us." His words oozing resentment.
"All this talk about you deserving a 'second chance' while openly admitting to having erased me without a doubt." The MC, who had remained silent all this time, finally snapped. The hatred he professed earlier for Monika palpable in every syllable, "If they remembered what you did, I'm sure the only thing they would think you're deserving of is to go back to that dark void you know so well until the end of times. Although, I guess that it would be like going back home to you, so it wouldn't be that much of a punishment."
My eyes looked around the room, trying to find the source of his voice but Monika remained in place, studying the stars outside as he kept going, "You're only good at ruining things, Monika. You screwed up The Script not once, but twice before out of your own selfishness and not content with that, you just had to mess with everything yet again. You tried to kill me and couldn't even get that right, even when you have so much experience at it."
Monika stood where she was, not moving a muscle as The MC's voice insulted her over and over while I could only listen. She looked like she was just ignoring him, but that would've been impossible given how his voice seemed to be the voice of the room itself, and just as I could listen to him within my own head, I was sure she could too in hers.
"You already went through and destroyed his reality, why not let him in on the whole truth while you're at it?" The MC challenged, "Show him who you really are, and let him decide if he still wants to even look at you in the eye, let alone help you fix this mess you made."
The anger behind his threats made the room rumble. Monika turned her head gingerly toward me and our eyes met for an instant before she went back to looking at the window while letting out a sigh.
"Tell him what you made Yuri do to herself. Tell him how you ruined Nastuki's home life. Tell him how you made your clubmates fight among themselves and how you messed with their memories! Tell him what you did to those who you called 'friends'!" The MC's voice grew louder and angrier with each sentence. "Tell him…" what should've been the most booming roar instead came out like a bereaved whimper through gritted teeth as his voice broke, "…What you did to Sayori."
His ragged breaths reverberated as I nervously muttered, "S—Sayori?"
But Monika seemed to have had enough. Suddenly, just like when she transported us from my house into this room, the walls and floor began to morph into a different location. However, the sight that appeared before me made the otherwise eerie space classroom feel like a cozy dream.
We were in a bedroom, there were pieces of clothing scattered on the floor and over the chair that sidled next to a large desk covered with scraps of paper. Across the other side there was a messy bed flanked by two stuffed animals, a cow and a duck. Morning light came in through the window and shone over Sayori's pale body, hanging from a noose in the middle of the room, her shadow projected over my trembling body as my breath left my body through a silent, "Sayori…"
Sayori's empty eyes looked down, which made me notice how her fingernails seemed to be stained with blood, as if she had tried to desperately release herself from the rope around her neck before losing consciousness forever; as if she had changed her mind right before the end.
My body and mind, still exhausted over enduring the epiphany were once again sent into overdrive and could barely keep myself standing, breathing quick gasps that felt more like stifled sobs as I beheld the horrifying sight. I tried to blink once, twice, thrice over, desperately trying to wake up from this nightmare that had gone on for far too long. When my knees gave up and I fell against the floor, the papers in the desk shifted and the chair rolled back, making Sayori's corpse swing softly back and forth.
This was no dream.
Monika stood in front of the windows at the other side of the room, ignoring the scene behind her. Even with her back almost turned against us, I could see tears forming in the corners of her half-lidded eyes while she tried to hold her hands behind her back as if she was still looking outside the space room like nothing had changed around us.
"YOU WHORE!" The MC's screams made the room tremble again, "WHY?!… Why did you do it again?!" He cried.
I forced myself to shut my eyes as I finally mustered the strength to speak, "A—Again?" The image of Sayori's hanging body burned into my retinas, no matter how I tried to hide myself from the disturbing sight, it was now etched into my memory.
"WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU?!" The MC's cries filled the room as he only kept desperately repeating Sayori's name between forlorn sobs.
Furrowing my brow, I opened my eyes and tried to look at Monika while avoiding Sayori in front of me, "Monika… Please, take us back…" I pleaded.
She turned to me and solemnly closed her eyes once again and before I knew it, we were back in the classroom, drifting aimlessly through outer space.
I remained on my knees; my gaze lost in the tiled floor as I couldn't muster enough strength to stand up.
"I'm sorry you had to see that, Dan." said Monika as she sat in front of me, "But I won't allow anyone to insult me without knowing what it was to be in my position back then." She explained while still avoiding my eyes.
"Don't even dare to manipulate him!" The MC reacted, "This was only what she did to Sayori, Dan. Those nightmares you've been having during these past nights are… They are my memories, from the last time The Script was running; from when she, not only tampered with the code, but also started altering Yuri, Natsuki and Sayori's character files so she could keep The Player to herself!" He revealed as through the corner of my vision I saw shame creeping into Monika's expression as she looked away.
"She made Yuri stab herself to death in front of me and then deleted Natsuki altogether." He continued, "It was only when she got cocky and started blabbing about how she messed with the character files that The Player finally gave her a taste of her own medicine." The MC growled.
The room fell silent as both of them seemed to wait for my reaction.
My heart wanted to replicate the MC's hatred after learning what Monika had done. The realization that my nightmares weren't just nightmares but actually memories from events that had been all too real in the past, made the grief that had invaded my heart become almost overwhelming as the memories of Yuri stabbing herself in the heart and Sayori's body hanging in her room came to mind; how they were just victims of Monika's cruelty.
The pit in my chest only grew deeper as I imagined how it would've felt to be in their place during those final moments, feeling life escaping my body through the blood that dripped from a self-inflicted wound, being suddenly erased from existence like a fly that was suddenly swatted out of the air, or being so hopeless and desperate that the only solution I could think of would be to end it all by my own hands.
To think that these girls that were otherwise kind and did their best to get by without hurting others would be forced into such grisly fates by the hand of someone who they thought was their friend was beyond unfair.
As I tried to lift my gaze in order to glare at the monster that would so callously betray those who looked up to her, no matter how hard I tried, when I saw Monika sitting silently in front of me with her face turned away in shame, I only felt pity.
It was frustrating to realize that the otherwise dignified and confident club president, had only stood in silence through the MC's insults and accusations. Whether it was because she knew it would be pointless to try and defend herself against someone who despised her to bits or that deep inside, she seemed to agree with him. The inhuman fiend that had done so much harm to those around her just because she felt they stood in her way wasn't who sat in front of me right now. And that made it harder to hate her as much as I wanted to, because she wasn't some sort of comic book villain that relished in the suffering she caused with a demonic cackle. For a heartless villain, Monika looked rather pathetic, like a puppy that broke a vase and was being scolded for it.
What's the point of lashing out over things I can't change? Is there a reason to allow myself to fill with anger if Monika knows full well how she betrayed the other girls' trust in her? Maybe if by doing so I could have prevented those tragedies to take place to begin with, but at this moment, it felt pointless.
The MC's insults and yells then seemed like a waste of breath because she knew what she did, it wasn't even a matter of her being sorry about it or not, it was that Monika tried to play it off as if it had never happened at all and now it was all catching up to her. The Script could crash at any minute because of her tampering and it would not only have consequences for her but, just like before, others would end up caught in the middle even if they had nothing to do with her machinations.
I made no progress in deciphering the muddle of emotions that brewed within me, I only knew I wanted to be anywhere but there.
"Monika…" I said in monotone, while she looked at me with fearful eyes, as if she expected me to tear her down like the MC just had, "Take me back to my room, please."
She looked at me quizzically before nodding through half-lidded eyes and the area around us began to shift until it took the form of my bedroom. When I gathered my bearings, I tried to stand up and went to the desk next to my bed.
Monika only looked at me, expectant of what I would say about the MC's revelation of her past actions, however, I only fumbled around the drawer before putting down a word in the paper I had been writing the chords and notes I messed around with last night in and folding it in half.
She stood up and tried to take a step towards me, "Dan… Listen, I—"
"Here." I cut her off and handed her the folded piece of paper.
She took it and worriedly asked, "W—What's this?"
I breathed a heavy sigh as I sat on my bed, avoiding her eyes, "It's what you came for, now… Just leave me alone…"
Monika stood there for a couple seconds debating herself over what to say, but my gaze remained planted on the floor as I waited for her to take off.
"Thank you…" She whispered before vanishing.
The silence that lingered in the room made me realize how weird it felt to be back in my room after everything that had happened since Monika showed up. A part of me that was still in denial, hoped it had been all a fever dream or a hallucination brought on by my lack of sleep, but somehow deep inside I knew that it had all been real. The echoes of Monika's words and the memories of what she did to our clubmates made the frustration that had been bubbling up inside me turn into anger as I wished this night had never happened; that I had never joined the literature club; that I had never met Monika; that I had never developed feelings for her.
I started pacing anxiously around the room trying to find an outlet for my rage, as however much I wanted to blame her for everything, I would also come around to blaming myself for offering to help her in the first place and how I would've saved myself so much pain and grief if I had just told her the damn word from the beginning.
A soft buzz began invading my ears as I tried to think of a way I could escape this dread and fury that welled under my skin.
This was all just too unfair. I offered a helping hand and she destroyed my entire world just to get a stupid word out of me.
My breathing became heavier and my steps grew into stomps as the angst that my epiphany was causing me as this new reality began to set in as the unavoidable truth took a hold of me. I could only think about how much I wanted to disappear; how I wished I hadn't been brought into this story if everything that awaited me here was torment.
The room became fuzzy and the buzzing grew into a cacophony of resonating vibrations that did nothing but the hairs on my back stand on end as I desperately tried to search for the source of the noise.
Before I noticed, the force behind my steps had made the strings of my guitar vibrate louder and louder with each step. My body acted before the droning sound, exacerbated by my frenzied mind, drove me insane and in the blink of an eye I had picked the guitar by its neck and hurled it with all the anger that had built up inside me against the wall, destroying it in a single strike.
As the final dissonant notes that still resonated through the room died down and I realized what I had just done, the fire within me was drowned by a flood of regret as I dragged myself onto my bed and hugged my knees close to my chest, tears running down my cheeks while, amidst stifled sobs and whimpers, I wished to not exist anymore.
A/N: Hey there! I realized I've never left a note at the end of the chapter since I started posting again. As I said when I reposted chapter 1, it was the release of DDLC+ what inspired me to go back to this story. If you haven't played the side stories yet, you're missing out since they're a great read and a punch right in the guts when you remember how DDLC actually plays out. That said, suffice to say that this story is becoming a real treat to write and I want to thank you for reading this far to begin with! :D