Meenah's devoted fanbase would not allow her absence to go unavenged. It was because I have so many names to remember and always forget one, but her fans could never forget her. Also Clair's last name was accidentally given as Lilac because I have a similarly named superhero OC. Clair is still a Mushroom.
The Laurels portion are written in more of a dialogue format. Tallulah Tulle speaks in Italics. Priam Steed is in plain text.
Meenah Turbine- District Five mentor
Caio and I had a running bet on who could bring home more Victors. Since I had a lot less to work with my penalty for losing was a lot milder than his. For every Victor he brought home I had to drink a shot of pickle juice. For every Victor I brought home he had to throw a pool party and wear only a thong bikini. Neither of us would have guessed that he might be paying out first. Brock was one of the very rare cases of Two's spite outweighing Two's pride and Skada was actually pretty skilled- a lot more skilled than I was when I went into the Arena. But it would all work out in the end anyway. I was the one who suggested pickle juice, since I liked pickle juice. And Caio was the one to suggest the thong.
Good evening, Panem! Are you ready for fashion? Intrigue? The most important voting-based event of the year? All that and more on tonight's Laurels!
"District One is really showing off how versatile the luxury District can be. Lots of things are expensive. Gold. Houses. And lions. A lion is very expensive, making it a luxury. And the jewels and gold fabric that make it up are also expensive. Irina's costume wouldn't look out of place in a high-class theater."
"The feathers in the mane are a daring choice that really paid off."
"Malcolm's not doing his stylist and favors. Irina's jumping around and stuff. Malcolm is just sitting there looking expensive and dull, like the clearly artificial jewels on his suit."
"Ooh, Brock must be really strong! His entire suit is rock and he's moving around anyway!"
"That's artificial rock."
"How do you know?"
"Because Brock is moving around."
"Why is Alice wearing a schoolgirl outfit?"
"I think her stylist just really wanted to make a schoolgirl outfit."
"What in the world is that?"
"That's what computers used to look like."
"Like a big gray box? I thought she was one of those cutouts you put your head into to take a picture."
"Seems weird to put such a dinosaur out to represent the most cutting-edge District. At least it made an effort, though. Not liking Lester's unitard. Slapping a gear print on a leotard does not make a costume."
"He's going to break his neck climbing on Tabitha like that."
"Since Juniper is a professional merman, his outfit is... a merman! Simply stunning."
"He must be able to hold his breath a long time."
"Then Rouge decided to take it easy for a year and just slap a matching mermaid costume onto Talise. Lazy, but sometimes laziness is just another word for efficiency. Oh. Oh, it has blacklight. I did not expect that and take back my criticisms."
"That's so amazing! It's like they're really fish! They made real mermaids! I always wanted to get a mermaid tail. I should finally do it. I should live my best life."
"Don't change the channel, we'll be right back."
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"Richard is... a... lightning grabber?"
"No, he just randomly has a lightning bolt over his head. Because District Five."
"He's all wet, too. All that gel in his hair and it's just oozing out like a fallen souffle."
"They gave Skada taser gloves when her partner is covered in water? That might have been the best outfit of the year but we'll never know since Skada is kind enough not to kill her District partner."
"Six, always the most inspiring District."
"Yay. A racecar driver. And- o-ho! A motorcycle driver!"
"Good pick. Leather looks good on everyone. Especially someone ten feet tall and really scary-looking like Nene."
"It's less intimidating when the person is hopping up and down and trying to wave back at every single person who waves at her."
"Max is just trying not to get knocked off the chariot."
"Clever but not very visually appealing."
"I don't get it."
"He's not just any tree, he's a deciduous tree. Because he doesn't have any leaves and only deciduous trees lose their leaves."
"That's just an ugly branch costume! No wonder he's so embarrassed."
"Oh, ha ha! The pun game is strong in Seven."
"What-"
"'Petra' means "rock".
"A very shy rock hiding her face behind a hand. I'd be shy too in a rock outfit."
"Someday Eight will learn that just putting a bunch of fabric in an outfit does not make people associate it with the fabric District."
"Christobal is a very patriotic young man, dancing along with the Anthem like that. He really seems to love it."
"Now he even has Elle dancing. That's hard in a hoopskirt."
"Stay with us for more Laurels after this short break."
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"I like that one. It's a less obvious grain... thing. A lot better than just covering the kid with grain like most years."
"I'd wear that dress just at a normal party. Very versatile."
"I don't think Veda is used to big crowds or attention. Her red cheeks really made the golden dress pop."
"There is literally nothing in Toddward's outfit- I can't believe I just said the name 'Toddward'- that represents District Nine. That's literally just a normal outfit."
"Respect for the showmanship, though. He's really making up for it, trying to get the crowd hyped up. Smart kid- he wants to be the one they remember."
"They better not. They better not do it."
"Moooooo."
"They wouldn't."
"Aaaahh she's a cow! HAHAHAHA!"
"You're joking."
"TAKE A LOOK SHE'S A COW!"
"If you tell me he is, too..."
"HAHAHAhaha no it's all right he's a milkman."
"Well that's in poor taste."
"She did kill her mom."
"That's not a prison outfit, that's a mental patient outfit. Which we haven't used for fifty years."
"I'd be freaking out if I had to wear a straitjacket for the entire parade. Can we get a closeup? Oh, she's barely keeping it together."
"Meanwhile Callum's stylists have chosen to exercise human decency. What a tasteful and subtle cornucopia outfit. Yes, the eight-foot-tall wicker basket brimming with wax fruit is the more subtle outfit."
"Kind of left Stevie hanging there. They both did the killing but she gets a crazy killer outfit and he gets fruit. But at least she can see out of her outfit."
"Oh look, two coal miners. Groundbreaking."
"Wow, they really put a lot of makeup on Denton."
"Ah, Twelve, always a spectacular way to end the parade. Can we just start going in reverse order?"
Don't worry about Twelve, we saved the real best for last! It's time to reveal this year's big winners."
"First up: Best Use of District. The winner is... Irina Sokolova of District One! One is always the one to beat in this category."
"Mine's the booby prize! This year's Worst Use of District was heroically earned by... Toddward Howard of District Nine!"
I get to go twice in a row because this next one is a good one. The winner of the Best Execution Laurel is... Nene Palmer of District Six! It might have been a boring choice but it was well-executed. She looked great."
"Next up is a perennial favorite: the What Were They Thinking? Laurel. In a landslide decision, justice has prevailed and the award goes to Stevie Pagett of District Eleven."
"Our favorite wild card, the Most Unexpected Laurel has been won by... Alice Mason of District Two!"
"Time for the biggest loser. For the first time in six years, two entrants have tied for the much-coveted Worst in Show Laurel. Sharing the honor will be Richard Franklin of District Five and Petra Ridley of District Seven."
"This year I get the honors of presenting the last and most prestigious Laurel. This year's Best in Show is Juniper Triton of District Four!"
"The parade is over but that's just the start of all the Games have in store for us. Make your picks, place your bets, and may the odds be ever in your favor."