Background note I forgot to note last time: A body double stood in for Denton during the Parade. His autism is severe enough that he either would have been highly combative and likely tried to flee the chariot and risk getting trampled or he would have needed to be so shot full of tranquilizers that he couldn't stand.
Malcolm Royden- District One male (18)
My allies were better than I'd been afraid of. Or, more honestly, they were a mixed bag. I was glad to have been partnered with Irina. She was wealthy, of course, but she didn't flaunt it or seem to feel entitled to it. She was hardworking and serious. This wasn't just a fun outing for her. The Twos were a bit less ideal as Careers but they were ideal for me, since Brock was little competition and Alice had lost a lot of training time. Talise was a pretty average Career and Juniper would probably go out early. Not a great Career pack but good enough to get me through the chaotic early portion of the Games.
"Some of us are going to the Two lounge to get to know each other," Alice said, catching up to me as I was walking toward the training room. "You want to come?"
"No thanks. I have to train," I said. Alice looked a little miffed as she turned around and after a few steps I reflected that I'd been too standoffish. I was always ready to assume others were goofing off or resting on their privilege. Just the fact that my allies got picked- well, most of them did- meant that they had worked hard and earned their spot. Money got you into the Academy but it didn't get you picked for the Games. And team-building, while it sounded cheesy, was the difference between a united front and a bunch of disparate mercenaries who happened to be standing near each other.
Well, gotta commit now. If I changed my mind and went after Alice I'd look wishy-washy and unconfident. I had to stay the course and go train for a while, but I'd come back in the afternoon and make connections with my allies.
When I reached the training center it occurred to me that things had actually worked out pretty neatly. I had a schedule in my mind for how I'd be training over the next few days. Part of it involved hand-to-hand combat. My street-fighting moves were different from what most Careers used and I'd wanted them to stay a secret. With all my allies conferring upstairs I could work on that part of my training today and not risk giving up my surprise advantage or being looked down on and excluded for my "dirty" style.
This really did work out, I thought as I toweled off after a long session of sparring. I was aching and sore and ready to sit down for a while. I was looking forward to hanging out with my allies and having a little fun. I guess sometimes you just have to punch the grumpiness out of yourself.
Irina Sokolova- District One female (18)
"Hey! Irina!" Alice called from across the room, raising an arm and trotting across the open chamber in the center of the Games building. It looked almost like a mall, with pathways lining either side of an open space in the middle that went all the way down to the first floor.
"We're all meeting up in the Two lounge to talk strategy and stuff," Alice said when she reached me, slightly out of breath from the trot. It was weird how normal and friendly she looked. Most Careers tried to keep their tough angry faces on all the time. Alice's wiry muscles proved she was fierce but she acted like a normal young woman.
"Oh. Well," I started. I was glad it was Alice I had to break the news to but still felt awkward finding the right words. "I'm actually not allying with the Careers."
"What? Why not?" Alice asked. Understanding lit up her eyes. "Is it the circus thing?"
"Yeah. Me and Tabitha and most of the other circus people are linking up," I said.
"That seems really risky. Bold move," Alice said. She was just being honest- I didn't feel like she was judging me. "Triton said he was coming, though."
"Guess he's too cool for us," I said. Triton's joining the Careers? He wasn't even the chosen volunteer. I quickly hid my confusion as I put together what must be going on. Triton hadn't told the others about his situation. For old times' sake maybe, or out of circus loyalty, I didn't give him away.
"Really weird how many of you got chosen," Alice commented.
"Just one of things things, I guess," I shrugged. "At least Juniper and I volunteered."
"Yeah. Well, good luck. Hope we don't cross paths," Alice said. She waved as she walked away.
Stepping into the Three lounge felt like coming home. It looked nothing at all like home, but it had all my friends- my family, really.
"Hey, it's Irina!" Tabitha said as I walked in. "We thought you ditched us like Juniper!"
"He never hung around with any of us anyway," Lester said. "I didn't even know his name until now."
"I always thought he was just really shy," I said. In a sad way it made thing easier. Juniper had been with us a long time but we'd never really known him. That would make it easier if one of us had to kill him. What a horrible, blunt thought. A week ago we were family.
Brock Carver, District Two male (12)
"Great news. Caio said I could train you."
I sat in awe looking at Pray Jager on the couch opposite me. She was almost the same height as me but it just looked different on her. In the pictures and in her Academy appearances she always gave off the aura of an uncaged wolverine- all claws and ferocity and death to creatures twice her size. It was even worse one-on-one. I'd never felt so close to death before.
"Thanks," I managed hesitantly.
"If I was a nice person I'd ask if you were up to it- a lot of people aren't. But I'm bored and I want to relive my glory days like the underwhelmed old champion I am. So I'm not going to ask. We'll just have to hope you are."
She wants to train me. Pray's hungry eyes spoke of nothing but her lust for carnage and victory. Looking at her I realized she did not care about my ancestry. She didn't care in the slightest. All she saw was a long-shot challenge that would give her a taste of her old prowess. All at once I felt a surge of both pride and the desire to live up to her.
"I'm up to it," I said firmly.
"Good to hear." Pray rose and walked over, extending her hand. I went to shake it and there was a blur of motion. The room tilted around me and I found myself on the ground trying to put myself back together.
"First up, desensitization," Pray said as I got up and backed out of range. "I'll be doing that a lot so you better get good at dodging. I hear you're a boxer so that will probably come quickly. This first time is because you weren't expecting it. Now you'll always expect it. Lesson learned."
My stylists aren't going to be happy. By the time I got to the interviews I was sure I'd look like I'd been hit by a truck. I was afraid of what the coming days would bring but at the same time I knew how much it would help me. I had no hope I'd ever beat Pray but if I could even stand up to her for a few minutes I could outlast anything in the Arena.
"We'll also be watching a special compilation I made of all the cruelest and most violent moments of the Games," Pray said. "Over and over, actually. Until it's burned into you. I didn't win the Games because of my brains. I won it by my soul. It's cold and dead and it wants to kill. That's the soul you'll need if you win. That's why I'm glad to hear you're ready."
Alice "Marionette" Mason- District Two female (17)
"Is it true you killed your mother?" Talise asked as we were sitting around eating tea cakes and discussing our opponents and our strategies. She didn't just lead with that statement. We were all talking about our pasts and we all knew it would come up eventually.
"I did, indeed," I said.
"Was she a terrible mother or something?" Malcolm asked, trying to look uninterested but not strong-willed enough to stop himself from butting in.
"Wow, you all don't hold back," I said. "She abused me, yeah. So I stabbed her in the throat. Simple as that."
"'Simple as that'? It doesn't even seem to bother you," Talise commented.
"She was alive. Now she's dead. I don't see all the fuss," I said. "I would think Careers would understand that."
"It's different when it's someone close to you. And you weren't even in the Arena," Malcolm said, not really judgmentally but just curiously.
"I wanted to do it so I did it. Honestly I don't get it when people talk about 'right' and 'wrong' things. I guess it's metaphysical or something but I don't see it. I think if you want to do something then do it," I said.
"Have you killed a lot of people?" Talise asked, eyes wide.
"No, just her. I probably would have killed some others but I was afraid I'd get caught. I did break a kid's arm once. I wanted to know what it would sound like. It sounded pretty cool."
"I don't get it," Juniper said. "You're always so happy and friendly."
"I don't usually want to kill people so I usually don't," I said. "Just because I could if I want doesn't mean I always want to." If they kept asking I'd go into more detail but I didn't care if they understood or not. I didn't really care much about other people at all. It was nice having allies around if they were helpful or made me laugh. Once we all broke up we'd kill each other and that would be that.
"So..." Malcolm said after everyone fell silent. "Should we let Brock into the alliance?"
"Oh, yeah. Pray wanted me to tell you she vouches for him," I said.
"Silver Claws vouched for him?" Malcolm asked.
"Yup," I said.
"That's good enough for me," Talise said. Everyone else agreed and we decided to invite Brock into the Career pack. Simple as that.
Juniper Triton- District Four male (18)
It wasn't enough that the others didn't know I wasn't chosen and that Talise was keeping my secret out of District loyalty and wanting to increase the chances of a District victory. I had to not just look like a Career but act like one. I could feel the role shaping around me and flowing inside me as I watched and mirrored the other Careers. I needed to be as confident and aggressive as Malcolm. As defensive as Brock. As competent and levelheaded as Talise.
Alice was the one that most seeped into me. She was the most Careerlike of all of us. It was clear to me that Alice didn't become like she was through her training. She was always like that. Some people just come out of the womb with no sense of right or wrong and I don't think that's something that can be taught. Alice wasn't a good person but I wouldn't call her evil either. Alice was not immoral but simply amoral. Alice did what would help Alice. That was what any Career needed to win.
When I met up with the Careers to hit the training room I knew I'd see my former coworkers. It was painful to think of what might have been. I'd never reached out to them. We might have gotten to know each other and even become real friends. I was always so caught up in my roles and in keeping Valentino safe that I'd never really lived my own life. I was a mermaid, I was a Career... I spent a lot more time in that headspace than I ever did just thinking about what kind of person I was underneath. The Games would reveal that, I was sure, whether I was ready or not. I knew one thing. My allies needed to know my allegiance.
I found Tabitha at the edible insects station. When she saw me she held up the beetle on her hand.
"Hey, Juniper! I'm just eating some bugs," she said.
"Move out, Three," I said, pushing her backwards. "You're in my way."
"You just decided you really want to eat some bugs?" Tabitha asked in confusion.
"I decided I don't want someone like you speaking to me," I said, aware that my allies were mostly across the room and couldn't hear what I was saying so much as they could see me pushing the outliers around.
Tabitha's face scrunched in confusion and then lit up with mischief. "Oh, you're trying to look tough for your allies," she whispered.
"OW!" Tabitha cried, throwing her own arm toward the ground and dropping the beetle she was carrying. "Why would you smack me? I wasn't doing anything." I moved a little in confusion and she stepped back, hands thrown up. "No! Don't hit me! I'm leaving!" She winked at me, burst into wailing tears and fled across the room to Lester, who was looking at me with dagger eyes and only calmed down when Tabitha whispered something while she pretended to cry on him.
I had to do it, I told myself. People do what they have to do to stay alive.
Talise Cicero- District Four female (16)
Careen wanted to meet with me on the second day of training. I went up to the Four lounge and sat around until she arrived.
"Hey. What's up?" I asked as she walked in.
"I'm just going to give it to you straight," she said, sitting down across from me. "You weren't the first volunteer pick."
Even though I'd entered for money and not for glory it still stung.
"I thought as much," I said. Especially with my age it seemed highly unlikely. Humiliation and a little anger welled up at me at the thought of a panel of experts finding me unworthy and only sending me when the top picks failed.
"Valentino was the first pick," Careen said. "And that's why they picked you."
"What? We're not partners or anything. We're not even friends," I said.
"Precisely. Valentino was the pick to win the Games. And you were his meat shield," Careen said.
A sick feeling came over me. It was such a... betrayal. My home, the people I trusted, the most respected institution in all of Four. It was all a lie. They always said the volunteers were so that no helpless little kids got sent into the Games. No, only helpless half-baked volunteers who they knew couldn't win. The only thing that kept me from crying was how angry I was.
"It sucks but you deserve to know," Careen said. I was grateful for her bluntness. She hadn't said any of this with vindictiveness or taunting. She was the only one in all of this who had been straight with me. Even as I was digesting it she was leaning in to give me advice.
"They think you're a sacrifice," she said. "Let that be your motivation."
Later that day I sat with my allies, burning with humiliation and anger and a sense of violation. This wasn't their fault but I still looked at them as competition rather than allies. I watched them train and listened to them talk and gathered anything I could to give me an edge.
Malcolm has a chip on his shoulder. He'll turn on the rich ones first and want to trust the poorer ones just a little more. Maybe he'll be sympathetic to a poor little fisher girl.
Brock's anger will take him apart with the slightest spark. He doesn't want to win. He wants to be respected. Give him respect and he'll hesitate.
Alice isn't the most trained but she's the most dangerous. When the breakup comes make sure your back is to someone else.
Juniper will try to find water after the pack splits up. If you find water know Juniper is lurking.
I wasn't going to be their meat shield.