I wasn't sure about posting this, but I thought why not, so here is the first chapter of this cracky chaos. enjoy!
Ah, patrol. The time for contemplating life, and mulling over the complicated mess of emotions from the day, and ensuring Paris was safe, and also for jumping over rooftops. That part was very important. Ladybug, Paris's resident superhero, was rather enjoying todays bout of jumping over rooftops. She had just cleared a large gap between the one block of houses and the next, when she got a call beeping through on her yoyo.
"Chat?" she asked. "You okay? Still up for meeting up in a while?"
"Hey, milady." Her partner replied, and was it her or did he sound out of breath. "So uh, funny story, but I know who Hawkmoth is."
"What?"
"Yeah. So can you meet me on the Eiffel tower and we can talk?"
"Yeah." Her voice came out dazed. "Yeah, I'll be there in a sec."
She went back to jumping over rooftops, but with more urgency and purpose (not that she hadn't been purposed before – she did have a city to protect and she wasn't going to be caught slacking)
"Hey milady." Chat said, back turned away from her as she swung onto the tower.
"Hey. You said you found out…"
"Hawkmoth. Yeah."
"So?"
"Right, so uh, it's kind of hard to say this, but…"
"Oh my god, it's Adrien Agreste!"
"What?"
Ladybug gave him a despairing look. "It's Adrien! He had the grimoire a while ago, and I know it was technically his fathers, but what if that was a cover up and Adrien really is Hawkmoth! That's terrible! I can't believe I've been in love with a supervillain all this time! Oh Chat, this is awful!"
"What?"
"Oh, poor Nino! What's he going to think? And Kagami! Oh and it makes so much sense! Adrien always leaves during akuma attacks – because he's Hawkmoth!"
"Milady, maybe slow down a little. Hawkmoth isn't Adrien Agreste."
"You said that weird. Why am I scared?"
"Yeah well, it turns out you weren't wrong about the Agreste bit."
"Emilie Agreste? I thought she was dead… and also a woman?"
"No not Emilie either. Gabriel."
"Wait what? How do you even know that?"
"Well uh, funny story again, he's my father, which kind of makes your Adrien theory earlier awkward, huh."
"Wait, you're Felix Graham de Vanily? Adrien's cousin?"
"I just said Gabriel was my father, Ladybug. How can I be Felix. Scratch that, how do you even know about Felix?"
She looked sheepish, scuffing her feet on the floor. "I kind of thought Felix was Adrien's long lost twin brother. He acts so similar to Gabriel that he can't just be his nephew."
"Oh my god. Ladybug, I'm Adrien! Adrien Agreste! And could we just go back to the bit where you said you were in love with me for a second?"
"No we cannot. Forget that ever happened."
"I suppose we can talk about it later when I'm not still freaking out about my dad being a literal supervillain who has thrown me off a roof multiple times."
"Sounds like a good plan." Ladybug agreed. "Also when I'm not freaking out about you actually being Adrien because what the fuck?"
"Should I be offended?"
"So." Said Chat Noir after several minutes of collective screaming was finished. "On another note, my father thought it might be time for me to get into the family business, and he gave me this." He held out his hand, brandishing a small blue broach. A broach that looked remarkably similar to the peacock miraculous.
"No way." Ladybug breathed, having finished her own screaming a few seconds earlier. "Is that…"
"The peacock? Yep. Father gave it to me. Apparently, Nathalie had been using it as Mayura, which again – what the fuck – but she'd got sick and had to stop. And, get this, her sickness was the same thing that killed my mother, who by the way, is in a huge chamber in our basement."
"Wow." Ladybug said. "That is… something. So he gave you the thing that made the two previous users sick to the point of death? Father of the year."
"Apparently he fixed it. That's why he's been going around as Shadowmoth recently. He's been combing the butterfly and peacock."
"God," she shuddered. "That must have been exhausting. I only ever combine miraculouses for a short battle, and I have to sleep for ages after that. wearing two full time must have been taking a serious toll on him. God, I still remember when I wore all the miraculouses as Multimouse. They weren't even active, but I still felt like sleeping for years afterwards."
Chat, who had been grimacing at his father's stupidity, suddenly froze. "Wait, Marinette?"
"Oh shit. I should not have said that."
"Hold up. You're Marinette, I'm Adrien, hawkmoth is my father, Mayura is Nathalie. Nino is carapace and Alya's Rena rouge not to mention Chloe, Max, Alix being Bunnyx in the future"
"How do you know about Alya and Nino?"
"Nino told me. Back when he was kind of pissed at Chat me."
"Right, sorry."
"Ok so I'm guessing since you hand out all the miraculous, every other holder there's ever been apart from Kagami I guess, is in our class? Ladybug, that's just an identity disaster waiting to happen!"
Her voice small, Ladybug said, "Viperion isn't in our class."
"Oh yeah, and who is he?"
"Luka."
"You gave your boyfriend a miraculous?"
"He's not my boyfriend. We broke up! And besides, that was only because you couldn't use the snake."
"Oh my god Marinette. Literally everyone I know is a superhero!"
She crossed her arms. "I'm the guardian, I make the decisions. Anyway, weren't we talking about the peacock miraculous? What are you going to do with it now?"
"Well," he said, holding it out, "I assumed I would give it to the guardian who would keep it safe like all the others."
"I suppose I could take it," Ladybug mused, "But I'm going to be honest with you, from what I've heard, Duusu is very melodramatic, and I don't think I can deal with another kwami like that. I've already got Kaalki and Pollen to contend with."
"So?"
"So I think you should keep the miraculous. You could be our spy! I mean, it would look suspicious if he gave it to you and then you suddenly don't have it. You should use it, spy for us and we can finally beat Hawkmoth!"
"You want me to be a villain?"
"If that's what it takes, yeah."
He looked at the ground. "I don't know, milady. I don't like the idea of fighting you, even if it's pretend."
"We won't let it go to far." She promised. "You just need to convince Hawkmoth that you're on his side. If we really need to, I can get Rena to make any illusions you need, and as soon as you feel uncomfortable, you can transform into Chat, or I can come and rescue you."
"Well." He said, smiling softly at her. "I've always wanted to be rescued from my tower by a big strong superhero. I'll do it."