River Summers, District seven female
I didn't remember when last I'd been sane. There was a lot I didn't plan to remember. When I got home I was going to treat this like a nightmare. That had to be what it was. A Gamemaker had a nightmare and brought it to life. There were things here that couldn't be real. It might be that we weren't even real. Maybe some of us in the Arena were never anything but dreams. Then it didn't matter that I'd killed them.
The dark man was real. He wasn't like the monsters that stalked this place. The dark man was a real-life boy plucked away from his life just like I was plucked away from mine. Frankie was hunting me as I hunted him. The lights led us to each other- lights that weren't real people like us. I wanted to be not real like them. I tried to fade out of my body and just watch myself from somewhere far away.
I could see Frankie by the four lights clustered around him. He'd killed more than I had, then. I wondered if he was somewhere far away too. Frankie had always seemed to be distant from himself. Of all the people in the Arena he was probably the least bothered by it all. I couldn't imagine he even cared about being alive as much as I did.
He fired an arrow at me as I ran. By the light of only two specters around me he couldn't see to properly aim. The arrow buzzed by my arm and landed somewhere behind me. Even if it had hit me I don't think I would have noticed it. Maybe it did hit me and I'd only feel it later. He fired again and I think he missed again.
"Murderer," Emmeline said. She floated beside me as I ran.
"Murderer," Apollo said as Frankie shot another arrow. I was a murderer. I was going to murder again. I wasn't going to let my father lose me again. I didn't care much if I died. I cared that he lost me.
"Murderer," Ever said. I hadn't even killed her. I'd just been there when it happened. I guess a ghost can't tell the difference. Or maybe they're so hurt and vengeful they'll take anyone who's still alive. Ever's murderer was dead so she took the next best thing.
I didn't have a plan until I was almost on top of Frankie. He was drawing back to shoot me just as I was coming in to stab him and we both struck at the same moment. An arrow punched through my breast and a sword punched through his gut. We both staggered away from each other, weaving and staring at each other unsteadily. But a sword is so much bigger than an arrow.
Tree in the window, window tree…
The words came to me unasked for. It was my father's voice, singing a song from back home. It seemed so much more real than all of this. There was light around me. I didn't know where it was coming from. Frankie was kneeling on the ground. It didn't seem like it was me as I crouched by him and took his hand. It was warm. I didn't remember anything in this Arena being warm.
But tree, I have seen you taken and tossed
And if you have seen me when I slept
You have seen me when I was taken and swept
The anthem came, drowning out the last line.
And all but lost…