Chapter 21: Simpleman
Marinette was finding babysitting Manon difficult, now that she had so many kwamis and a Miracle Box to hide in her room. Manon had found the sewing box and was trying to force it open.
"Manon!" said Marinette with a nervous chuckle. "How about we do some drawing? You like drawing, right?"
Marinette pulled open a drawer. The paper at the top was full of Marinette's doodles about Adrien.
"AHH! Let's play hide-and-seek instead!... Okay?"
"YEAAAH!" shouted Manon.
From behind a screen, Xuppu and Kaalki shook their heads "No".
"Oh! Wait! I...know, I know! Uh, beads! We'll make some... beaded necklaces!" said Marinette.
She accidentally dropped the box to the floor, spilling beads. While she was picking them up, the trapdoor to her room opened and two more little girls rushed in.
"Yeah! Ella! Etta!" said Manon.
"Manon!" said the twins.
"Shoot!" said Alya. "You didn't tell me you're already babysitting Manon. I'll go cancel my date with Nino at the movies."
Marinette thought about standing up for herself, because Alya brought the twins over without checking first. But she wanted to make up to Alya for how things had gone between her and Ladybug.
"Oh, no, don't! Uhh... the more, the... more pretty necklaces we can make!" said Marinette.
Alya folded her arms and looked uncertain. "Are you sure?"
"Come on, just go enjoy your movie!" said Marinette.
"Okay! Buzz me if you need me!" said Alya, going back down the stairs.
Marinette looked around, and found all three kids had grabbed the sewing box that concealed the Miracle Box, and they were shaking it. Marinette rushed to stop them, but she tripped on a ball and went flying.
Marinette got back to her feet and grabbed the box away.
"Not the sewing box!"
Ella, Etta, and Manon gave each other naughty grins and started tickling her.
"Don't! Stop, that's not fair!" said Marinette.
Nino came up through the trapdoor with his little brother Chris.
"Oh. You didn't tell me you're already babysitting Manon and the twins," said Nino.
Chris raised his arms and led the girls in a chase to the other side of the room. Marinette put down the box on her chaise lounge.
"Ah! One more kid won't make any difference. Go to the movies with your girlfriend," said Marinette.
Marinette felt partly responsible for Nino getting akumatized, since the quarrel between Alya and Ladybug had led Alya to post a flattering article about Chat Noir to her blog, leading to Nino getting jealous. She had already taken Ella and Etta for the movie date, so she felt like she had to follow through.
"Wow, thank you, Marinette!" said Nino. "You really are the best!"
Marinette saw that the kids had found some of the kwamis who had not hidden in the box: Kaalki, Fluff, and Xuppu.
"No! Not the kw—... kwa-shies!" said Marinette.
"Kwashies? Did you make them yourself?" asked Ella.
"Oh! Yes! They're my most recent sewing project. But it's a secret project, so you gotta put them back in the drawer—" said Marinette.
The kids didn't listen. Ella and Etta through Kaalki back and forth, calling her "Sock." Chris and Manon fought over Fluff, pulling her by the ears.
"Oh! A movie! How about we all watch a fun movie together instead?" said Marinette in desperation.
The kids dropped the kwamis on the floor and ran over to sit in front of her computer.
"Ladybug and Chat Noir!" they all said.
Marinette sighed.
"Don't you like it?" asked Manon.
"Yes! I do! I love it so much that I've seen it maybe one too many times." said Marinette.
She sat in her chair with a sigh of relief as the animated movie started and the kids got quiet.
Then her phone rang, and the caller ID said it was Adrien.
"Adrien? Woohoo! Adrien! Oh, Adrien! Adrien!" said Marinette, getting so flustered the phone dropped from her hands.
"Aren't you gonna answer it?" asked Manon.
Marinette finally picked up and answered in her usual babbling way.
Adrien wanted help with a costume repair, since there was nobody on the set to do it,
Marinette agreed and after she hung up she spiraled into a fantasy flow-chart about how doing him a favor would lead to going to the movies, getting André's sweetheart ice cream...
"Wouldn't it be more simple to just give him your drawing?" asked Manon, showing on of the doodle pages from the paper drawer.
"Huh! No, no! Telling a boy you like him is way more complicated than a drawing," said Marinette.
The kids laughed and grabbed their backpacks.
"It's gonna be so cool to see you do it!" said Manon.
"W-Wait a second. Sorry!" said Marinette. "You're not gonna see anything. You're gonna be good, and stay."
Marinette saw Wayzz poke his head out from behind the computer screen and shake it. Marinette knew he was right. She couldn't leave the kids alone without supervision, especially not in a room full of terrified kwamis.
Where could she leave the kids? Not with her parents, who had gone to a chocolate convention until evening. Not with her grandmother Gina, who was traveling in China. Oh yes, there was her Grandfather Roland! He always stayed at home.
"No, no, no, and no again!" said Roland Dupain. "Babysitting is too complicated! I got Brioche to bake and-"
The kids rushed into his house, shouting "Yay!"
Marinette gave a weak laugh and went in, to discover the kids were playing with breakable things inside. Manon was about to throw an LP record like a frisbee.
"No, it's fragile!" said Marinette, snatching the record away from her.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" said Chris, wielding a ball and stick toy like a flail.
Marinette tried to stop him, and stumbled.
Roland offered to play darts with the kids, and to show them how to make a potato cannon.
"Yeah!" said Ella and Etta.
"No!" said Marinette. "Forget the potato cannon and the darts. Too dangerous. Just keep it simple, Grandpa! Let them watch a cartoon!"
Marinette opened her laptop and the kids sat down on the sofa.
"You call that 'simple'? What are all these buttons anyway, and where do you put the video cassette?!" asked Roland.
"This is a laptop computer, and this is the keyboard. You don't need a cassette. The film is already on the hard drive," said Marinette.
"Now you want me to drive somewhere to get the film? But that's not how it's done!" said Roland.
"Don't worry, Grandpa. You don't have to drive anywhere! The kids know how to use it," said Marinette.
She started the "Ladybug and Chat Noir" movie.
"I'll be back as soon as I can. Thank you, Grandpa! Be quiet, kids! Goodbye!"
"Hmmm," said Roland.
Kagami met with Zoé at the art room of the school.
"My mother doesn't know it, but Adrien cancelled fencing today. He has a special advertising shoot at the Eiffel Tower," said Kagami. "So we have more time than usual."
"You've gotten good at this," said Zoé.
"I used to lie for Adrien, to get more time with him," said Kagami. "But he lied and made excuses not to spend time with me."
"What would you like to do today?" asked Zoé.
"I would like to make some sketches of you," said Kagami. "I need to practice if I want to be a manga artist someday."
"Do you like mangas?" asked Zoé.
"Yes. I am reading one now called ' Robinsons of the Catastrophe' but it is turning out to be more horror than romance, with carnivorous zombie plants. I like romantic stories with love confessions."
"I like romantic manga, too," said Zoé. "What kind of romances do you like?"
"Shojo, romances with young women. Boy-girl, but I also like girl-girl stories, what we call yuri."
"I like those too," said Zoé, blushing a little.
This made Zoé feel hopeful...
The kids tried to explain the plot of the movie to Roland, but he was getting confused.
"Argh! In my day, telling good guys from bad guys was much simpler! They would just fight each other and whoever was the strongest one wins!" said Roland.
"Oh, but Ladybug never hits anybody, 'cause she has her Lucky Charm," said Manon.
"Oh, what was this thingalucky now?" asked Roland.
"It's a thing she uses with other stuff to catch the akuma," said Chris.
"And then she wins!" said Etta.
"Stop! Stop! This is way too complicated! Let's just watch my VHS copy of the '98 World Cup finals. At least that's something simple!"
Roland looked for a way to make his VHS tape play on the laptop. He accidentally pushed the touchpad the wrong way, and the laptop shut off.
"NOOOO!" cried the kids.
Roland knew how to load his VHS tape on his own player for his own TV... but then he remembered that his TV had stopped working and he hasn't found anyone to repair it. He couldn't figure out which of the many buttons would make the movie play on the laptop.
"Let's play our own game of Ladybug and Chat Noir!" said Chris.
"Yeah!" said the girls.
The kids started running wild all over the room.
Roland tried calling Marinette. "Marinette, I'm completely lost!"
"That's great news, Grandpa, but I can't talk right now," said Marinette. "I have to borrow a fishing rod! Have fun! I'll be back soon!"
"Marinette!" Roland yelled, but she had hung up.
"Miraculous Ladybug!" called Ella, throwing a pillow into the air. Down came a light fixture.
"What is wrong with the world these days?! Why has everything become so complicated?! Wah-ha-ha-ha-haaah!"
A purple and black butterfly landed on his baker's spatula and absorbed into it.
A mask outline appeared on Roland's face and a voice spoke in his mind: "Unravelder, I am Shadow Moth."
"Unravelder? What kind of complicated name is that?"
"Well, uh... Doctor Obsolete?"
"I'm not a Doctor!"
"How about Simpleman? Will that do?"
"There! Now that's simple!"
"Well, then, Simpleman, Ladybug and Cat Noir are also complicating my life. That's why I'm giving you the power to simplify everything."
"Ah! Now that I understand!"
Roland transformed into a figure with a tricolor-painted mask: Simpleman.
"Oh, no! Grandpa Rolland!" said Manon.
"You got akumatized 'cause of us?" asked Chris.
"Don't worry, kids. You're not a problem at all. The problem is the world around you! I got to show you how much better life can be with everything is simpler!"
He posed dramatically, but it hurt his back for a moment. "Oh! Argh! Aaah!"
"And don't forget the simplest mission of all. Bring me back Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous," said Shadow Moth in his mind.
"Piece of cake!" said Simpleman.
He went out his front door and raised his large wooden spatula. "One blow from this baker's peel, and everyone will be hit, superhero or not!"
"No, wait!" sent Shadow Moth.
"Simplification!" shouted Simpleman, slamming down the end of the peel.
A wave went out from in front of him spreading in every directions. The kids directly behind him were spared.
"Oh no!" said Manon, Ella, Etta, and Chris.
"Argh! Foolish villain! You hit me! I'm taking back your power!" sent Shadow Moth.
"Make up your mind already," said Simpleman. "Do you want your Miraculous or not?"
"Hmm... Yes. Go ahead," sent Shadow Moth.
"You see how simple life can be when nothing is complicated?" asked Simpleman.
Kagami had moved close to Zoé, to show her how to pose, when the simplification wave came through.
"This is too complicated," said Kagami. "Let's do something simple."
"I know what I want to do," said Zoé. "I want to kiss you."
"You do? I want to kiss you, too," said Kagami. "That is nice and simple."
They started kissing.
Ladybug said, "When bad things happen, it's simply the fault of the big bad-"
"Shadow Moth!" said Chat Noir and Ladybug together.
"An akumatized villain is gonna want to fight us so they can steal our Miraculous!" said Chat.
They both groaned.
"Oh, boy, it's going to be really complicated," said Ladybug.
"Wouldn't it be simpler to fight Shadow Moth directly?" asked Chat.
"Oh, of course!" said Ladybug.
"Let's go!" said Chat.
They went running around.
"Hey, Shadow Moth! We're here!" yelled Ladybug.
"Come and fight us!" said Chat.
Simpleman and the kids spotted them.
"You see that, kids? Simplified heroes means easily found miraculous. Come on! Let's simply pick them up!"
Chat Noir and Ladybug continued running and calling for Shadow Moth, but Simpleman confronted them.
"Ladybug! Cat Noir! Give me your Miraculous!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
Ladybug tried to hit Simpleman with her yo-yo, but it fell short. Forgetting how to make it wind up again, she slowly rewound it by hand. Meanwhile, Chat Noir fought hand-to-hand, his staff against the baker's peel, but his skill was also greatly reduced. The fight was pathetic.
"There's usually more action," said Manon.
"What if the bad guy wins?" asked Chris.
"It'll be okay, Chris. Superheroes always win!" said Manon.
Ladybug threw the yo-yo better the second time, and snagged the baker's peel, pulling Simpleman off balance.
"Fighting is much more simple..." said Ladybug.
"...when nothing's complicated anymore," said Chat Noir, moving in to tickle Simpleman.
"I haven't simplified you enough!" said Simpleman.
He got his weapon free and pounded the ground again. "Simplification!"
"NO!" said the kids, once again behind him and not caught in the wave.
"Quick Ladybug! Use your Lucky Charm to fight the villain!"
"Lucky Charm?" said Ladybug.
Even a questioning invocation worked. She got a red ball with black spots.
"Wow! Cool! Hey Simpleman, take this!" said Ladybug.
She threw it at the villain, but it bounced off and hit her in the face, and then rolled under a car.
Chat Noir extended his staff, but the unbalanced weight made him fall.
Shadow Moth sent, "Candy! Simpleman, candy for Miraculous! Everyone loves candy!"
"Now that's a plan simple, efficient and easy to understand!" said Simpleman. He walked to a candy stand nearby to get some.
Meanwhile, Ladybug got the ball back from under the car.
Simpleman held out two pieces of candy. "Ladybug, Cat Noir? Let's stop fighting and make peace. Give me your Miraculous and I'll give you some candy."
Ladybug said, "Candy, I love candy!"
Chat Noir said, "Everyone loves candy!"
They started to run to Simpleman, but the kids got in the way.
"No! Never take candy from a stranger!" said Manon.
"He's doing that to steal your Miraculous!" said Chris.
"I'm tired of Miraculous. I don't want them anymore!" said Ladybug, starting to take off her earrings.
"Me neither! Superheroes are lame!" said Chat Noir, starting to take off his ring.
"NO!" yelled the kids. They ran up and grabbed the heroes' arms, stopping them.
Chris held up the ball. "You have to win against the bad guy."
"We don't want everyone to see you weird like this," said Ella.
"But the bad guy is too bad," said Ladybug.
"Look how strong he is!" said Chat.
"Ha, that's true!" said Simpleman, getting another temporary pain in his back.
The kids explained a plan using the Lucky Charm ball, inflating it with a bicycle pump to make Simpleman let go of his weapon.
"But I don't have a bicycle pump," said Ladybug.
"Can't I just Cataclysm the bad guy?" asked Chat. (His right hand began to have a black glow).
"Hey! explaining complicated stuff is cheating!" sent Shadow Moth.
"You got that, then." said Simpleman. "Sorry, but I'm going to have to simplify you too, kids."
Raising his stick, he invoked, "Simplification!"
Chris threw the ball. "Ladybug!"
Ladybug caught it. "Make it bounce!" she said, throwing it under where the baker's peel was coming down.
The stick hit the ball and bounced up out of Simpleman's hands.
Chat Noir caught it, and it instantly disintegrated, freeing the akuma butterfly.
"It's true, my power is super simple!" said Chat.
"And repairing everything is even more simple!" said Ladybug. "Miraculous Ladybug!"
The ball flew into the air, and out came the magic ladybugs to restore everyone's mind.
With her mind clear, Ladybug easily caught and purified the akuma. "Bye-bye, little butterfly!"
"Pound it!" said the heroes.
Ladybug gave Roland a Magical Charm.
Kagami and Zoé came to themselves, hugging and half undressed.
"What happened?" said Zoé, pulling back.
Kagami blushed bright pink. She checked her phone for news.
"There was an akuma attack that dulled the minds of everyone in Paris," said Kagami.
"I don't know what to say," said Zoé. "I'm..."
"Don't apologize," said Kagami. "It was my first kiss. For you, also?"
"Well..." said Zoé. She remembered Annabel, the one real friend at school who wrote "I heart you" on her shoe. The one she had betrayed. "I'd rather not talk about the past."
"What about the future?" asked Kagami. "We went fast because of the akuma, but my feelings are real."
"Mine too," said Zoé. "I really like you, Kagami."
"My mother will make things complicated," said Kagami. "We need to keep this secret for now."
"What will happen if she finds out?" asked Zoé.
"She would take me back to Japan," said Kagami. "There's a contract between us and the Agreste family. I think it is a marriage contract."
"You wouldn't go through with that, would you?" asked Zoé.
"At first I thought I would. But trying to date him went badly. He and Marinette belong together."
"Why would your mother want to marry you to Adrien?"
"It was an arrangement made before we were born. The Agrestes, my family, and yours are in some sort of secret society. That's why people wore masks at that party, all with the faces of animals like the Miraculous kwamis."
"People at the party are working with Shadow Moth?"
"I have no proof of that. But my mother said there was a competition between your mother and her for who would have the perfect daughter to marry the Agreste's perfect son. Our family won."
"Was there a story about a magic ring?"
"Yes. A magic ring that would give power over Adrien. How did you know about that? "
"It was a story from my mother. I didn't think it was real."
"I doubt it, too."
Zoé thought about telling her of her experience with Wishmaker, but decided against it. It would give away too many superhero secrets. Nobody remembered that timeline but her.
"It doesn't matter now, anyway. Neither of us has any intention of marrying him," said Zoé,
"Yes. And now... a fencer who begins a bout must not pull away, but complete it."
"You mean..."
"I am greatly aroused by what we did today. Let's finished what we started."
"Yeah... let's."
They went back to kissing.