On the run with William, (season nine not exactly as we saw it) Christmas morning approaching, Scully wishes they could do something to celebrate his first Christmas.

December 24, 2001

Scully sighed with a smile as she watched Mulder lying on the floor, holding William up and making him laugh. Down he brought him to his knees and back up again, creating silly noises and sounds. William laughed and squirmed in his arms, reaching for Mulder's face.

Laying William on his chest, he kissed his head and rubbed his back. Closing his eyes, he hummed and sighed, his fingers tapping gently.

"How is it possible to love something so small?" he asked and Scully chuckled softly.

"Does help that he is your son, carrying half your DNA."

"Hmm," he agreed, rolling over and laying William onto the floor, nuzzling his neck and kissing his cheeks. William squealed and grabbed his hair, kicking his legs up and down.

"I love you, little man," Mulder said and Scully's eyes filled with tears, wiping them away quickly.

She laid aside the laundry she was folding and knelt down, crawling over to lay beside them.

"Oh hello, Mama. You see Mama, William? Where is she?"

William stared at him and then looked over at Scully, smiling widely.

"Yeah, that's your Mama," he said, with a slow smile and she smiled back at him, rubbing William's stomach. She leaned forward, kissing Mulder and then William's small hands.

"It's Christmas tomorrow, Mulder," she said, even though she knew he knew. She looked at him and he nodded, smiling at William.

"It is."

"His first one."

"Scully…"

"I know. He won't know. But we will. I will." She sighed and shook her head, starting to rise up, but he kept her beside them.

"We know, Scully." Shifting and turning, he placed William onto his chest and pulled her to him. She laid her head on his arm and smiled at William, scratching at his leg with her fingertips.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and he kissed her head.

"Don't be sorry. I understand."

"It feels silly to get upset about missing holidays when I'm happy we're all safe. That we've been safe here for the past couple of months. Avoiding people, keeping to ourselves as it's become more populated… we've been safe. And I don't want to go out and sing carols, or join in any town celebrations, but it's just…"

"Honey, I know. Christmas is important to you. I know it is. We could go for a drive and look at lights if you want, see that tree in town."

She sat up quickly and looked at him. He smiled and nodded, rubbing her back.

"You think it would be okay? Safe enough?"

"It's cold enough, we'd be pretty bundled up. Perhaps most people will be inside and celebrating, it might be just us."

"I doubt that, but… Mulder, I don't know. That's not what I wanted to have us do, I just wanted to do something. Something to tell him about when he's older." She smiled at William, kissing his soft head and then taking him from Mulder when he raised his arms up to her to be held.

Mulder sat up, knee to knee with her, his hands gripping the material at the hips of her pants, his forehead pressed to hers. They sat silently, William's babbling, the only sound in the room.

"We'll think of something, Scully," Mulder whispered and she nodded, closing her eyes and releasing a breath.

They lay together in the large bed later that night, William sleeping between them. Being on the run, ready to leave at a moment's notice, they did without many luxuries; a crib being one of them.

When he was smaller, not yet rolling over and moving as much, a makeshift bed had been made in a large emptied out dresser drawer padded with blankets. But one night, Scully had a horrible dream, one where Mulder had woken her, his eyes scared.

She had not been breathing regularly, sobbing deeply and unable to believe it was not more than a dream. It had taken her a long time to calm down, to hear him and to stop shaking, sitting on the floor beside William, watching him breathing steadily.

Mulder had checked every window, every door, of the roadside motel suite they were staying in, coming to sit beside her and telling her they were safe. She had shaken her head, silently crying until he had lifted William and they had all lay together in the bed, none of them moving for the remainder of the night.

After that dream, he slept between them every night. Not once, in two months, had Mulder made a comment about it, aside from complaining about sore muscles the next day, lying so it did not disturb William.

It made intimacy a bit of a struggle, but she needed him close, to feel him in the darkness. Her sex drive had also diminished since giving birth to William, thus reducing her desire for sex, regardless of where he slept. The constant worry for their safety also had an effect on her and one night she had apologized to Mulder, crying as they sat at the table.

He had pulled her to him, bringing her to his lap, holding her tightly as she cried. He had assured her that he understood, her worry was founded, and they were okay. Crying harder, he had held her, soothing her worries and telling her how much he loved her.

He had taken his cues from her from that moment on and she loved him more than ever for his understanding. He never pushed, but held her, comforted her, and gave her whatever he could to ease her worries, both for her and for all of them.

They had taken advantage of nap times, but not as often as she knew he may have enjoyed. Instead they did puzzles, played board games they found in the closet, laughing and talking quietly as William slept.

She stared at Mulder now, at the man she loved so much, sleeping with his hand on William's chest, William's mouth open as he breathed deeply. She smiled as she covered Mulder's hand, running her thumb across the top of it, holding it lightly as she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

"Ahhh!"

Scully opened her eyes, early light shining through, and saw William waving his arms around and smiling. She smiled as she looked at him and he turned his head to look at her. He screamed again and she pulled him to her, turning him onto his side and lifting her shirt, opening her nursing bra for him to feed.

He hummed, his movements calming as he drank and she closed her eyes, rubbing his back gently. His hand hit her chest and she reached to hold it in her own, rubbing her fingers over his impossibly small ones.

She opened her eyes as she realized that Mulder was not there, but he had placed pillows under the blankets to create a buffer to stop William from rolling off the bed. She smiled at the thoughtfulness and care he always exhibited. She wondered where he was, but would need to wait to look for him until after William nursed. Her focus fell on him, closing her eyes again as she listened to him feed.

When he pulled away, she opened her eyes and stared at him with a smile. He grinned and then resumed feeding, but pulled away again, smiling happily.

"I love you. So very much," she whispered and then held him as she turned to the other side, offering him her other breast.

He drank for a few more minutes and she knew he was finished when he was more interested in staring at her and babbling happily. She kissed his head and then sat up, covering up and holding him close as she did, kissing his head softly.

Laying him down, she reached for a diaper and the wipes. Undressing him, she changed and then redressed him, lifting him and taking the dirty diaper to toss out in the kitchen trash can.

When she opened the bedroom door and walked into the living room, she gasped. The room was dimly lit from the sun, but was lit brightly in a different way— by the fire and the white Christmas lights strung over the large window and doors leading to the snow filled porch. About ten large paper snowflakes hung sporadically from the ceiling. Large pine cones were in a bowl on the table, candles lit around them, and Christmas music played softly from the radio on the shelf in the corner.

Mulder was standing by the island counter, pouring a cup of coffee, a small tree with white lights in front of him. A small collection of animals was around it: a deer, a bear, and a white and red fox.

He looked up as she had gasped and then whispered his name. William screeched and bounced in her arms as she shook her head in disbelief.

"How did you do this? When?"

"Well, as for when, it was about 2:00 this morning," he said with a smile, bringing her her coffee and taking William from her, kissing him good morning. "And how… well, I remembered there was a plastic bin in the garage and I decided to take it down and see what was inside, and I found the lights, tree, animals, and candles. I seriously felt like I had hit the motherlode. The snowflakes I made, finding some paper, twine, and tape. It's not a lot, but…" He shrugged as he looked around.

"It's perfect, Mulder. So perfect." She looked at him and sighed, feeling on the verge of tears. "Thank you."

He reached for her and held her close, her arm around his waist, mindful of her cup of coffee.

"Merry Christmas, honey."

"Merry Christmas," she whispered and then pulled back with a watery smile, his lips pressing to hers in a soft kiss.

"And Merry first Christmas to you," he said to William, lifting him up to touch the snowflakes. He screamed happily and batted it, sending it swinging. They laughed at his antics and then Scully walked to the counter to set her cup down.

She picked up the animals, finding them to be soft and fuzzy. She smiled at them, especially the foxes, noting the symbolism in the finding of them; one white and one red. How wonderfully ironic.

Looking around again, she shook her head as she watched William hitting the snowflakes, both he and Mulder laughing when they swung back and forth.

It was a perfect Christmas morning.

They left that cabin three weeks later, needing to move on, the neighborhood filling more and tourists coming in and out.

They left the place clean, the Christmas decorations packed and put away, the games and puzzles boxed up and placed back on the shelf.

They also left the keys and fifty dollars in cash for the homeowners, with a note saying they would need to replace the woodland Christmas animals, as Scully had been unable to part with them.

She had stated her case firmly to Mulder, telling him she did not think they would be missed. They looked new and like something that could be purchased in town. If they had been older, and seemed like more of an heirloom, she would have had more of a concern with taking them.

He had smiled, nodding as he wrapped them carefully in his bag, except for the deer, which William had claimed, drooling and biting on it.

"I think they will be fine with it," he had said, cupping her cheek and stroking his thumb across it. "Fifty dollars could buy a whole forest of animals."

"Yeah," she had answered, relieved that he understood.

As they drove away from the cabin, William babbling with the deer in his hands, Mulder reached for her hand and squeezed gently.

"I love you," he said and she smiled, squeezing back and sighing.

"I love you too."