Waiting for a flight, Mulder asks Scully about her favorite Christmas memories, learning even more about the woman he has known for the past seven years.

Late November 1999

"What's your favorite Christmas memory?" Mulder asked Scully as they were eating a slice of pizza in the airport, waiting to leave Chicago.

"Christmas?" she asked quizzically. "What's brought that question on?"

"Well, it's coming up," he said, gesturing to the decorations being put out across from them and she turned to look.

"Yeah, earlier every year it seems."

"Yup. So what's your favorite?"

"How do you mean the question?" She wiped her hands and he stared at her with a frown.

"I don't understand your question," he said and she laughed.

"Well, in what context do you mean it? Favorite food? Favorite experience? Toy? Gift?" She shrugged and he blinked his eyes before shaking his head.

"I didn't realize it needed such thought and consideration."

"Sure it does," she stated, nodding as she picked up her water and took a sip. "Favorite toy may not be the same year as favorite memory. And perhaps there was a favorite food that was eaten and that was a different year, so…" She shrugged and put her glass down. He shook his head again and contemplated what she had said.

"Okay…" Brushing off his hands, he nodded and cleared his throat. "Favorite year-age wise, experience, food, location, and gift-given or received. Specific enough?"

"Hmm, yeah that'll do," she said, wiping her hands again.

"You gonna eat your crust?"

"It's all yours," she said and he took it off her plate, shoving it into his mouth and taking a large bite. "Okay… I'll go in order. Nine was my favorite year—"

"And why," he said, his mouth full.

"Okay," she laughed, rolling her eyes. "Nine, because it was my last year believing in Santa, though unbeknownst to me at the time, and looking back on that belief, I feel like it was a great Christmas. The next year, I still got Santa gifts as Charlie was only seven. It was still nice, still a gift from Santa, but not Santa, you know?"

"I do," he chuckled.

"Experience… well, that's easy." She took another drink and he waited, smiling as he took another bite of her crust. "Except this one does tie with another."

He pretended to be shocked, sucking in a breath of astonishment and ended up choking on the crust, Scully slapping him on the back as he watched her laughing at him through watery eyes.

"You good now?" she asked with a giggle.

"Hmmph," he grunted, drinking water and coughing before taking another sip. She patted his back and then rubbed it softly until he nodded, giving her a thumbs up.

"We were living in San Diego at the time, but took a road trip up to somewhere in Northern California. I don't remember the name of the town. Anyway, we're on this hike, because my dad was never one to just sit idly. We always needed a goal to push toward."

"No sitting by the fire for the Scully clan?" he teased and she laughed.

"No, not until we had done some kind of activity."

"So, you were on a hike?" he prompted.

"So, we were on a hike and Bill was grumbling because he didn't want to be there, but quietly because he didn't want my dad to hear him and Missy was dawdling as she picked up rocks and pine cones she found, and put them into her backpack. I was having fun because I was still a kid and also because I wanted to be happy for my dad's sake." She shook her head and smiled. "So we're on this hike and we get to this rock. This big rock that jutted out and overlooked the valley. We climbed up on it, my mother telling us repeatedly to be careful, and though we didn't ever get too close to the edge, seeing how far down it was made my stomach drop."

She took a deep breath and he smiled as he watched the animated way she spoke and the happiness in her eyes.

"All of us were standing there and suddenly my dad let out this howl and we stared at him, completely confused as to what he was doing. He looked at us and smiled and then did it again. We all looked at each other thinking he had lost his mind, trying to figure out what in the world would provoke him to behave that way. Then Charlie did it and we all looked at him and one by one the rest of us joined in and soon the six of us were howling in sync and laughing hysterically." She laughed and shook her head as he joined in, picturing all of them standing on a rock and howling into the sky.

"That's a good memory," he said and she put up a finger as she smiled.

"Wait, it gets even better. We found out from some of the local people that that particular rock is called Howling Rock. I honestly think that my dad knew ahead of time and just didn't tell us. And he kept it a secret forever that he didn't know and yet, had all of us standing on a rock howling away like wolves."

"Smart man."

"Yeah."

"Okay. What's next? Favorite food?"

"Yeah. Okay." She rubbed her hands together and thought about it before pointing at him and nodding. "Oh, I know. We used to have a Christmas party at church, a potluck style dinner and then carols and the story of the birth of Jesus. One year, one of the women brought in a jelly roll. Do you know what those are?"

"Yeah," he said with a smile and a slight roll of his eyes.

"Well, the one she brought was a gingerbread jelly roll. It was so delicious that if I could have gotten away with it, I would have grabbed the plate, and hid in a corner, eating it all on my own. But as we were at church, we had to be solemn and unselfish and only take a slice."

"But you didn't take just one, did you?" he asked with a grin.

"I did…"

"But…?"

"Well… I couldn't be held responsible if I told the woman who made it how delicious it was and she gave me a second piece even larger than the first, could I?

"No, you couldn't," he laughed and she closed her eyes, licking her lips, as she was no doubt remembering the taste of the sweet treat. "Okay, now we are up to gifts. What's the best Christmas gift you ever received?"

Opening her eyes, she smiled and took a drink of her water.

"First, I'm going to tell you about my favorite gift that I ever gave to someone."

"Let's hear it." He smiled and she nodded as she took a deep breath.

"When I was seventeen, I had a job after school. During the summer I worked more and every paycheck I put money toward buying a gift for my mom for Christmas. She always talked about this book that she had read when she was younger. She could never find it and if she did happen to find it, they were expensive as it was an older book and no longer in print. I was determined to save the money for her to have a copy of that book and by the end of summer I had three hundred dollars. School started and I kept working, though less hours and by December, I had saved another one hundred and fifty dollars."

"That's a lot of money to have saved when you're seventeen, especially for someone and not yourself."

"Yeah. But I was determined to do it."

"Of course you were. I would expect nothing less."

"There was an old bookstore near our house and asked the shopkeeper if they had that book and he all but laughed at me. Not meanly, but more he wished he had a copy of it. Not yet feeling discouraged, I looked up places in the phone book and called around, eventually finding a place about thirty miles away." She smiled, looking down at the table, and he knew she was seeing that day again. "I was so excited to learn they had one, I didn't even ask the cost, didn't call back to ask either, just ran to my dad and asked for him to take me to the shop. When we got there I told the man that I had called about the book and I was there to buy it. He went and got it, and I was so incredibly happy when I held it in my hands. It was in such good condition and I couldn't stop smiling. Until I heard the price."

"Oh no… how much was it?"

"Six hundred dollars."

"Ohhhhhh." He made a face and shook his head.

"Yeah. My heart dropped and I almost burst into tears. It was like I'd felt the highest of highs and then…"

"So? What happened?"

"When we had entered the shop, my dad started walking around and left me with the shopkeeper. When he rejoined me, he started talking about the book and saying how happy my mom would be when I gave it to her. But then I told him it was too much money and I didn't have enough. I started to slide the book back to the shopkeeper, but my dad stopped me. He asked him how much the book cost and he told him and my dad let out a low whistle and nodded. Then he asked me how much money I had to buy it. I told them both, and the shopkeeper shook his head, repeating the price. My dad then asked him how long that book had been sitting in his shop and if anyone else had inquired about it. The shopkeeper admitted that no one had asked and it had been there for five years."

"Smart man, your dad," Mulder said again and she nodded.

"I was catching on and instead of feeling defeated, I felt uplifted and began to ask if it was possible to get the book at a lower price considering those facts. I told him I had four hundred and fifty dollars in cash, in my bag, what deal could we make? It took some haggling, but he would not go below five hundred, staunchly refusing. I saw that book being something that remained in the book shop and not coming home with me at that point, because he wouldn't budge fifty dollars and I didn't have fifty extra dollars."

"Shit," Mulder said, shaking his head. "What an asshole." She nodded in agreement.

"Now, my dad was not someone who handed out money willy-nilly for things, even if it was something that my mom really wanted. He wanted us to earn it ourselves and have that drive. So when the man would not budge past five hundred dollars and my dad took out his wallet, slapped down a fifty dollar bill, my jaw dropped." She shook her head and chuckled softly. "But I quickly took out my money and added it to his, thinking the shopkeeper would change his mind at any point. He didn't and I walked out of the store with the book in my hands, feeling dazed as to how it actually happened. I looked at my dad as we drove away, not knowing what to say to him, and he just winked at me. When Christmas came and I gave her the gift, he never said that he helped me pay for it, never implied that he had done anything other than give me a ride to the book shop and waited while I bought it for her."

"Did she cry?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course she did," she said with a laugh and he nodded.

"She has it still, I'm sure?"

"Yeah. It's on the bookshelf in her bedroom." She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"What about the gift you received?"

"Hmm, that one's easy too," she said, rubbing her hands together again. "When I was six, I went into a fancy toy store with my mother. We didn't plan on going, but had some time to kill while we waited for something else and so we went in there to look around. There were so many things to see, but one in particular drew me to it. It was a baby doll in a blue dress with gathers at the chest and a tiny green bow in the middle. Under it, she wore white tights and also had a matching blue bonnet on her head and tied under her chin. I loved her as soon as I saw her, but when I picked her up, I knew I never wanted anything more in my life. I had to have her. She felt like a real baby. She was heavy like a real baby and she smelled like baby powder. I loved her so much."

Mulder chuckled at the image of her holding the baby doll, how happy she must have been.

"I knew asking for it, in that moment, I never would have gotten it. We didn't get new things just because we took a fancy to them. So I asked if I could have it for Christmas. And when we went to see Santa, I told him that was what I wanted and I didn't need anything else, but I needed to have that doll. I drew pictures of it and talked about it constantly. I wrote a letter to Santa, with my mothers help, reminding him that's what I wanted."

"If this story doesn't end with you getting that doll…" he said, his eyebrows raised as he shook his head.

"No," she chuckled, touching his arm. "That's not what happened. In our house, Santa always left the gifts unwrapped, like he had just brought them directly from the toy shop. So when we came downstairs on Christmas morning, I saw her immediately. She was next to the tree in a new baby cradle. I was so happy. I picked her up and I honestly don't remember any other gifts that I got besides her and that cradle. I loved her so much."

"She sounds like she was a great gift and if you were going to say it didn't happen, I was going to have to call your mother and have a word with her." She laughed and shook her head, letting out a sigh.

"She was a great gift. I took her everywhere with me until I outgrew her and she was most likely given away. God, the thought of that breaks my heart a little." Sighing deeply, she scrunched her chin and looked at him. "What about you? What are your favorite memories?"

Saved by the announcement of their plane boarding, he did not have to tell her that his memories were not as nice and happy as hers. That Christmas in his house was good, until it was not any longer. That the bad had outweighed the good for so long, he was no longer even sure there were good memories.

An argument at the gate between two men, requiring security being called, distracted them and the previous conversation was forgotten.

Twenty minutes into the flight, she fell asleep as she often did, her head on his shoulder. Recalling the details of the doll she described, he knew he would be trying to find it for her. Seeing the joy it had brought her as she recounted the story, he wanted her to have that feeling again.

January 1, 2000

7:30 p.m.

"Damn," he muttered. "Shit! Ouch… shit!" He stopped for a moment and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

Who knew wrapping a gift with one hand would be so difficult?

"You've had this for two weeks. But did you wrap it then? When you had two working arms? No, because you're an idiot and a procrastinator. Let this be a lesson to you; get stuff done on time," he said to himself, wrapping the gift for Scully, taking his time to get it as well as he could with his arm in a sling.

"Well," he said, looking at the finished product. "It's as good as it can get."

He was gathering the wrapping mess when a knock sounded at the door.

"Just a sec," he called out, throwing everything but the scissors into his bedroom. Grabbing her gift off of the table, he put it and the scissors into a cupboard in the kitchen.

Back at the door, he opened it smiled at Scully

"Right on time," he said, stepping aside to allow her to enter.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she took off her coat and hung it on the rack. "Your arm feeling okay?"

"As good as I can expect I suppose," he answered with a smile as he looked down at his arm.

"Did you take the pain medicine?" she asked and his silence was her answer. She sighed, but nodded in understanding as to why he did, knowing it made him feel loopy. "I'm going to get the first aid kit in your bathroom and I'll take a look at it, make sure it's okay."

"Okay," he said, knowing it would be impossible to stop her.

He sat down in a dining room chair and waited for her, his arm aching, but not wanting to take anything other than ibuprofen for the pain.

"This shouldn't take too long," she said, coming back with the first aid kit.

"No. Especially as you checked it only a few hours ago."

She slid her eyes to him, saying nothing, but the look was clear. He smiled and stared at her profile, her lips especially, now knowing how they felt against his own.

Everything ready, she undid his sling, and took it off. Blood could be seen faintly on the bandage and she looked at him.

"Have you been resting your arm?"

"Y… yes," he said and she raised her eyebrow in question. "I was, but I had to do something."

"Mulder…" she said, shaking her head and unwrapping his bandage. Cleaning and wrapping it again, she cleared away the mess and brought him some water and the bottle of ibuprofen. "Take four of those."

"Can you open the bottle for me? My doctor says I shouldn't be using my injured arm." She smiled as she rolled her eyes, opening the bottle and dumping four into her hand.

"Do I need to feed them to you?"

"You don't need to…" he said, and she laughed softly, placing them into his mouth one at a time before handing him the glass of water. He swallowed them down and she took the glass back, setting it onto the table, continuing to stand in front of him.

"I ordered Chinese food. It should be here soon."

"Sounds good," she said quietly, her fingers moving to his hair and rubbing his scalp, his eyes closing as he sighed.

"Scully," he whispered and suddenly her lips were on his and he opened his eyes in surprise before closing them again, his uninjured arm pulling her closer and deepening the kiss.

"Ling's Palace," a voice called, as the person knocked.

He let her go and stood up to get the food, smiling as he heard her breathing deeply, happy in the knowledge that she felt as affected by their kiss as he did.

He set the bags of food onto the table as she came out of the kitchen with plates and cutlery, her gift sitting on top of the plates.

"I thought we said we weren't doing gifts this year? Or is this not for me?"

"Oh," he said, taking it from her and clearing his throat.

"It's not for me?"

"No, it is for you. I just wasn't planning to give it to you yet."

"We'll eat first? Then do gifts?"

"Oh, you have one for me?"

"Of course."

"Despite saying we weren't doing gifts?" he asked in mock shock, and she pointed to the box she had brought out from the cupboard, and he smiled with a nod, knowing she had proved him wrong.

They ate, discussing their previous wild night, with her rolling her eyes and smiling at his theories. He laughed, feeling lighter, happier, and he knew it was all because of her.

Clearing up, she took a slim gift from her coat pocket, walking back to the table and handing it to him. He unwrapped the red ribbon with a grin and lifted the lid.

Two tickets to a sci-fi movie he wanted to see, talking about it a lot the past few weeks, lay inside the box and his eyes widened as he looked up at her.

"Two tickets?"

"If you want me to go with you," she said, staring at him with uncertainty.

"It's a date," he said with a vehement nod. "A date."

"A date," she repeated with a smile, laying her hand over his and squeezing.

He put his gift to the side and slid hers over to her, suddenly very nervous.

She smiled as she opened a corner and then ripped the paper across the front of the box, gasping as she saw what was inside. Looking at him in disbelief, then back at the box, she shook her head.

"Oh my God, Mulder. Where on earth did you find this? She looks exactly the same. Oh my God, how did you do this? They don't sell these dolls anymore. I know because I've tried to find them before. Where did you find this?" She took the rest of the paper off, throwing it onto the floor, and stared at the doll through the plastic window in the box.

"Well, take her out," he said with a laugh.

"I don't know if I should. She looks so perfect, I feel like I should leave her just like this," she said, softly stroking the plastic covering her.

"No," he argued. "Something you love shouldn't sit in a box. It should be touched and held."

"Yeah," she whispered. "Look at the perfection in how they made her, the details. You don't see toys like this anymore. The blue of her eyes, her delicate eyebrows. Mulder…" She started to cry and he opened the box for her, took the doll out and handed it to her.

"She smells the same. Feels the same, heavy like a real baby. I can't believe you got this for me. God, it seems like a silly gift for an adult, but I love it. I love it so much." She held her close and took a big sniff as Mulder laughed softly. She looked at him with her eyes full of tears and shook her head. "Thank you so much, Mulder."

"You're welcome."

"Oh, I need a tissue. Can you hold her for a second?"

"Sure," he said, reaching to take the doll. "Oh wow, she does feel like a real baby."

"Yeah. I'll be right back." She cupped his cheek and pressed a soft kiss to his lips before leaving the room with a sniffle.

He looked down at the doll and suddenly he felt like he would cry. Like he had fucked up greatly by giving her a doll when she would never have a baby. Thoughtless, he had been, and he wished he could take the day back, find something else and return the doll to the box, never ever showing it to her.

He hated himself for being so careless and he bit his tongue to hold back his tears.

"Okay," she said, coming back into the room and smiling at him. "I'll… hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he croaked out, looking down as he handed her back the doll. "I'm glad you like it."

"Mulder, look at me," she said softly and he shook his head. "Mulder." She put a finger under his chin and raised his head to look at her. He swallowed hard and shook his head again. "Talk to me."

"I feel like shit," he whispered.

"Why?"

"It feels like I… like I gave you a… replacement for what you… that's not what I… I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"Oh, Mulder. No," she said, laying the doll on the box and staring at him.

She stepped forward and surprised him by sitting on his lap, and wrapping her arms around his neck. He held her close, his injured arm between them.

"That thought never crossed my mind," she whispered.

"Me either, until just now and I feel like I was thoughtless. I should have…"

"Thoughtless? How can you say that?" she said, pulling back to look at him, before looking at the doll and smiling. "Do you know what I loved most about her? I mean other than it was a doll and I was a little girl."

"What?" he asked, also looking at the doll.

"I believed in Santa so diligently, that he could do anything. And I felt that I got what I wanted because I believed hard enough." She looked at him, placing a hand on his cheek, and smiling. "You asked me about my favorite memories, you listened and you took the information I shared to find her for me. I had no idea you were doing that, never gave it a thought. But I believe in you, in your persistence in all aspects of life, even in finding unfindable gifts that show nothing but thoughtfulness."

"Scully," he whispered, shaking his head.

"I can't and won't ever have children of my own," she said matter-of-factly and he hung his head. "I've come to terms with it. I've had to."

"Scully," he whispered again, her words paining his heart. God, she deserved to have what she wanted most in the world, more than anyone else.

"There will be countless times when I will be around children or babies. That's life."

"I know, but-"

"No," she breathed, running her thumb softly over his lips. "You have such a good heart, Mulder. Your gift was not thoughtless or cruel, you would never intentionally do something like that to anyone, especially to me. What you have done has made me so happy. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, with a sigh, still feeling like he had made a mistake. She tilted her head and smiled, moving her thumb and kissing his lips.

"I love you too," she said and he pulled back with a frown. "You told me you loved me and now I'm saying it back."

"I… I said that to you over a year ago," he said and she raised her eyebrows and shrugged. "And you all thought I was drugged up."

"I saw your chart. I knew you weren't. I just needed time to process it."

"Over a year? And you decide to tell me now, when I'm injured and… I can't properly express my feelings?" he asked, pulling her closer and wincing when she bumped into his arm.

"Yeah," she said, a smile lighting up her face. He let out a breath and smiled, shaking his head.

"I meant it when I told you then. I do love you. I have for a long time."

She fiddled with the collar of his shirt, her eyes searching his face as she bit her bottom lip, before she smiled and nodded.

"I love you too. I probably have for longer than you."

"Is that right?" he laughed and she shrugged.

She picked up the doll and held it on her lap, gently touching her face. Smiling at her, she then looked at him and sighed.

"She was my favorite gift that I ever received and now I've had the privilege of it happening twice in my life. Thank you, Mulder."

"You're welcome, Scully."

She kissed him softly, whispered her love for him, before she pressed her forehead to his and sighed, the soft scent of baby powder filling his senses.