His world was crashing.

"R-Rem"

This was all that went through Subaru's distraught mind. He searched for the familiar maids outfit of the blue haired girl he held second in his heart.

"Rem" he called out once again in the hopes of finding the one he wished to see most.

"Rem" he called out hoping against hope that the girl who told him she loved him was alive.

"REM!" his search got increasingly desperate as he began rummaging through the bodies of the deceased and wounded

"Rem" his voice got weaker for reality dawned upon him. He had failed her. She gave him everything and more and he couldn't do anything for her. She picked him up at his weakest, pushed him to do better, called him her hero and he let her die and be forgotten by everyone.

"R-rem"

When he found her motionless body he ran up to her and checked for a pulse. Her heart was beating. An overwhelming relief washed over Subaru for he had confirmed that she was still alive. Rem was alive. He hadn't failed her as horribly as he thought. But right as he let a little bit of hope enter his heart, despair rushed in once again when he realised she was unresponsive to any of his attempts of waking her up.

He shook her body, screamed in her ears to wake up, told her he loved her but she did not respond to any of his desperate pleas.

He truly had failed her horribly.

He was right all along. Natsuki Subaru was a failure worth nothing. He could never hold anything in his pathetically tiny hands. He was wrong to have ever believed to be any more than he was.

But he could still fix this. He could do the one thing he was good at to save the one who gave him the strength to move forward.

He could still be Rem's hero

Subaru drew the katana he had strapped at his waist and held the edge against the side of his neck. He took a deep breath and tensed his arms.

Rem being in a coma right now was his fault. Had he paid more attention he would have realised something was wrong. The blank letter should have told him enough. Rem would never make a mistake while writing to her dear sister. Her situation was a result of his incompetence and pathetic weakness.

So he pledged "I swear Rem … no matter how many times it takes, I will save you"

With those words Subaru brought his sword down, decapitating himself in an instant.

_

Subaru woke up in the sky. Rain poured heavily around him as he rapidly fell towards what seemed to be an ocean.

Submerged in the water Subaru turned around to see that the world of towering skyscrapers were cut down from their infinite height to a town Subaru was most familiar with. The town he grew up in.

But after a few seconds the reality of his situation dawned upon him.

He was drowning.

Subaru let out an instinctual cry as he realised this but quickly shut his mouth to conserve the air in his lungs. He began to swim upwards where he could see a surface.

As he ascended,he felt a hand grab onto the collar of his tracksuit and fling him into a building.

"Calm yourself."

Subaru looked up to see the old man from before standing on nothing.

His lungs were burning and his vision was swimming.

He needed air.

He couldn't breath couldn't breath couldn't breath couldn't brea-

"How unsightly… you should be able to breathe."

And as though Subaru's soul itself trusted the man that stood before him Subaru took in a breath and his lungs were filled with sweet oxygen.

Subaru continued to suck in air once he realised that breathing in this flooded plain was possible.

He turned back to look at the old man to thank him but hesitated at the look of unadulterated fury that seemed to be directed at him.

"What went through your mind for you to take your own life like that?"

The words hung in the waterlogged atmosphere like a guillotine.

"Y-you know what i do in the real world?"

"That is but an irrelevant matter as of right now. Why did you take your life Subaru Natsuki?"

Subaru hesitated. He didn't know what to tell the old man since he barely knew him but he decided to believe in the trust his soul had in the man and tell the old man the truth.

"It was to save Rem" it was said in a voice so weak Subaru could barely hear himself.

"ANSWER ME SUBARU, WHAT PUSHED YOU TO END YOUR LIFE?"

"IT WAS TO SAVE REM"

"AND TAKING YOUR OWN LIFE WOULD SAVE HER IN WHAT WAY"

"You… you wouldnt understand."

"Did you hope to save this girl by going to your previous 'checkpoints'? To go through the hell of fighting that man once again to save that girl" as the old man asked, the anger on his face intensifying greatly.

"Y-you know about return by death too?

"Stop deviating the topic of our conversation Subaru…tell me why you feel the need to end your own life for this girl?"

"Her name is Rem"

"Huh?"

"I said her name is Rem. Stop treating her as just some girl! And why wouldn't I use return by death to save Rem? I am her hero. Wouldn't it be the job of her hero to do everything in his power to save her? If I have to use return by death then am I not obligated to use it to save the one who poured her heart out to me?"

The old man's eyes widened and he was silent at these words. He couldn't say anything to what Subaru said. But that wasn't because Subaru was correct, but instead because he couldn't argue with the insanity held in what Subaru said.

"Do you really value your life that little? To throw it away at every little inconvenience?"

"Rems life isn't a tiny inconvenience dammit"

"Do you believe returning by death is all you have to offer to the people you love?" The old man continued his rant as though Subaru had said nothing at all "Subaru, look around you! The once hopeful sky has been drowned out by the floods of your despair. The skyscrapers reaching out to grasp hope have been reduced to the town that is familiar to you! The rain that continuously batters this world still hasn't stopped even after everything has sunk to the bottom of the ocean! This is all because you fell into despair Subaru. You've fallen into despair which has caused you to stagnate."

"So what do you want me to do huh? Just let Rem be forgotten? Let her stay in a coma? I'm her hero! I'm supposed to save her but I failed her so horribly!"

"Why do I care what happens to that girl? The things you want to protect and I want to protect are far too different, Subaru!"

"YOU BASTARD! SAY THAT AGAIN!"

"I do not care what may happen to that wrench. The things I wish to protect are far different from yours. However, if you truly wish to save her then I shall not do anything to stop you from doing so."

"Stop me from saving rem?That's what I'm doing. If I return by death and make it so none of this ever happens then rem will be saved!"

"So that's what you'll do? Return by death over and over again till everyone is saved? Disregarding their feelings on the matter and they dont have they wouldn't be able to complain because you would be the one who is suffering most."

"Are you saying I'm pretending to be some sort of tragic hero?"

"What I'm saying is you're completely disregarding the feelings Rem has on the matter. Do you really think she would want you to throw your life away for her?"

"No of course not…"

"Then why do so? You say you throw your life away for her sake when it's clearly not what she desired. She desired you to live and be the greatest hero she knows, yet you use me to behead yourself and say it's for her sake!"

"What else am I supposed to do? Just sit back and let her stay in a coma? Let her be forgotten by everyone? Is that what you want from me?"

"Think of her words Subaru. What was her wish for you everytime she foolishly gave up her life?"

A memory played in Subaru's head. It was a bitter memory . One where he failed to save Arlem and one of Rem asking him to live as she died in his arms.

The cold of the cavern walls pricked at his back. The steady trickle of blood from Subaru's forehead, caused by him incessantly banging his head against the floor, clouded his vision. The cold steel of the chains binding him bit into his arms.

But he gave none of those sensations any mind as he held the dying girl in his arms with care that would not be expected from someone who had just been shouting out his bloodlust for hours on end.

"Rrm-Rem-Rem, you're alive!"

"I lo...ve …….. you"

"Huh?"

"Plea...se… li...ve… for...me"

It was a pleasure filled with desperation. She had been desperate for Subaru to live as he had been for her.

She wished for him to live.

He held onto her words.

It may be selfish of him to do so but he held onto Rem's desire for him to live.

He hated dying. It was painful and the feeling of emptiness it left behind was something he could never get used to.

He had resolved to disregard that pain so he could protect the ones he held closest to himself. And yet here he was,holding onto the brief light, any excuse he could to not die.

"Stand up! Stand up and look forward, never turn back. Save her the way Rem would want her hero to save her!"

"Alright."

It was a feeble will. One that could snap easily, but Subaru resolved to never throw his life away, all for the girl that called him her hero.

The old man let the look of fury tainting his face fall away to the stern visage he usually held.

"Then I suppose I have no reason to hold you here any longer."

"Thank you for this old man but before I leave, could I ask you a few questions?"

The old man's eyes widened in surprise. The fact that Subaru was willing to converse with him was something he did not expect to happen this early. Especially after he had rejected Subaru's desire to save that infuriating girl.

"Sure, go ahead."

"After returning to the real world from this place, I had a sword with me. One I don't remember receiving from anyone in the fang of iron or Crush's camp. And when I … used that blade on myself you said that I used you to do so. What is that all about?"

"You did not hear me wrong. While this is the form i hold in your inner world in the physical realm i retain the shape of a sword known as a zanpaku-to"

"So your name is Soul Cutter? That sure as hell is a weird name. But don't worry Gramps, I will hold you at the highest of honours regardless, '' said Subaru as he bowed down in an exaggerated manner.

"That isnt my name. Zanpakuto is the type of blade I am. My name is _."

Upon noticing the look of confusion on Subaru's face the old man sighed and continued once again.

"It truly is a shame you still can't hear my name. With as weak as our bond is, I cannot force you to stay here any longer. So this time it truly is farewell."

"Oh… thank you for everything Gramps. Next time I'm here I'll strain my ears to their limit and I will definitely hear your name. After all, I'm Natsuki Subaru. Rem's one and only hero and her hero can do anything as he is the greatest hero there is!"Subaru said, striking his signature pose as he was once again expelled from his inner world.

'Subaru...I hate the rain.' The old man thought, a look of deep melancholy overtaking his features 'It rains here too. When you are moody, it becomes cloudy. And when you are sad, the rain comes down. I can't stand it. Do you understand how horrible it is to get rained upon when you are all alone in this empty world? And to prevent that from happening, I'll lend whatever power you need! If you trust me I won't let a single drop fall from the sky'