Hey. This is the start of my Star Wars modern AU fic where Obi-Wan is tasked with raising Anakin. I wanted to take my own spin on the concept, and it bloomed into a fic that is now way longer than I expected it would be. This is the first section of a three-chapter fic, so I hope you all stick around until the end. This fic also has my spin on what a modern-AU version of the Jedi Order will be like, so expect to see some character cameos here and there.
Until then, I hope you enjoy it!
The day he met Anakin Skywalker was the day Obi-Wan's life changed forever—not that he would know it.
"Hi. I'm Anakin." A nine-year-old boy with sandy blond hair looked up at Obi-Wan. Despite his short stature, he stood tall and proud, not even hiding behind Qui-Gon.
"Hello, Anakin." Obi-Wan kneeled down to Anakin's level and held out his hand. "My name's Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi."
Anakin took the hand and shook it firmly. The boy's fringe just barely brushed his eyes, and it was distracting enough that Obi-Wan nearly missed the dark eye bags. The boy wore clean but well-worn clothes, including an oversized t-shirt that was likely bought with the intention that the boy would grow into it.
A large, calloused hand leaned down and landed on the boy's thin shoulder. "Anakin, why don't you go get settled in?" Qui-Gon suggested in a soft voice. When Anakin spun around to look at him, Qui-Gon smiled. "You get your own room."
"Ok!" Anakin jumped high in excitement and snatched up a large rucksack, a school bag that was just as worn as his clothes. He ran up the wooden stairs with quick feet, faster than Obi-Wan had seen children the same age run away from Master Plo Koon during games of tag at the temple. That was an impressive feat, indeed.
"It's the one with the white door!" Qui-Gon called after him, laughing when he heard an amazed 'wooow!' echo from the upper floor of the house. "I have a feeling he's going to be particularly energetic."
Obi-Wan looked away from the staircase. "He's younger than I was when you took me in."
"That he is." Qui-Gon lowered his head, making his long hair fall over his shoulders. "But he's the child who they were desperately trying to find a placement for, so I figured I'd be a good fit."
A dark feeling swirled in Obi-Wan's chest. "Is this the…"
"Complicated case?" Qui-Gon's smile faded completely, and his eyes met Obi-Wan's in a serious gaze. "Yes. I just recently received his full file, and it's even worse than we originally believed."
Obi-Wan sighed, but then a simile stretched across his face. "If that's the case, then I'm sure you're the best person for the job."
Qui-Gon chuckled. "Let us hope. I originally wanted to foster again because you're getting busier with the Order, but now it may be because the boy truly needs me."
"And it's not a way to tell yourself you're not getting old?" Obi-Wan asked, and promptly had to dodge Qui-Gon's swipe towards the back of Obi-Wan's head. "I'm off to work."
Qui-Gon nodded as Obi-Wan grabbed his bag. "You're invited to dinner any time this week. I think it will do Anakin some good to get to know you."
"At this rate, I'll start believing you wished I never moved out." Obi-Wan had left the house soon after becoming a full Jedi, and he'd only stopped by Qui-Gon's for a quick chat.
"You come over so much that I'm not sure you ever did move out," Qui-Gon retorted, and yeah, maybe Obi-Wan did have a habit of stopping by quite a bit.
"I'll try to make it," Obi-Wan said. "But Master Yoda might have an assignment for me." As peacekeepers, the Jedi were often called out to deal with affairs around the world, and Master Yoda's tone sounded serious the last time Obi-Wan had spoken to him.
"Your first solo assignment." Qui-Gon looked down at Obi-Wan with a soft gaze, one that Obi-Wan had learned to associate with pride coming from his former Master. "If you do get assigned, just be sure to let me know. I have the utmost faith that whatever it is, you will excel in it.
"Let us hope so." He really had to get going, so Obi-Wan went to the door. "Bye, Da," he called out behind him.
If Obi-Wan knew how many times he would have remembered that moment, he might have stayed longer. But he did not, so he went out that door, not knowing what nightmare would follow.
It was supposed to be a simple mission, one the Council could happily assign to an experienced Jedi who had recently taken on a new foster child. But things had gone south fast, Obi-Wan was taken out of his own mission to assist, and now he found himself kneeling in front of the only man who had ever felt like a father to him.
"No, please, no!" Obi-Wan cried. But even as he pushed down his tunic on Qui-Gon's wound, the blood kept coming.
The Sith that Qui-Gon had been ordered to subdue had long since fallen off of the cliff they were on, lost to the swirling waves of the ocean beyond. He had wounded Qui-Gon, and he had rigged explosives inside his hideout, which had disoriented Obi-Wan long enough to only catch the moment that the Sith had plunged his saber into Qui-Gon's chest. Obi-Wan only half-remembered what happened after, and all he could think of in that moment was how warm Qui-Gon's blood felt beneath his hands.
"Obi-wan," Qui-Gon croaked, placing one of his hands on top of Obi-Wan's. His face was growing paler by the minute, and their reinforcements still hadn't arrived.
"You can't die!" Obi-Wan yelled over the sounds of crashing waves.
"I fear… I fear it is too late for that." Qui-Gon's breath shuddered, and his eyes found Obi-Wan's. "Anakin."
Obi-Wan knew exactly what Qui-Gon was trying to tell him. Ever since Obi-Wan had arrived to assist, all Qui-Gon could talk about was the young boy. Obi-Wan had originally felt a bit jealous, but there was no more time for those feelings. Not now. "I'll look after him. I promise."
"Thank you." Qui-Gon gripped Obi-Wan's wrist and pulled it away from the wound. "Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan blinked away the tears. "Yes, Da?"
Qui-Gon grimaced, and his mouth wobbled as he tried to get the words out. But he did, and Obi-Wan hung onto every word. "It was… an honor… to raise you…" he whispered.
Holding back a sob, Obi-Wan removed his hands from the wound and gripped Qui-Gon's hand. "It is an honor to be your son," he said, hoping it could convey every bit of love he had for the man.
And even as he died, Qui-Gon held Obi-Wan's gaze steady. "Take care… of…"
His grip slackened in Obi-Wan's hands.
Like a candle being snuffed out, the light in Qui-Gon's eyes blew away in an instant, and Obi-Wan crumpled to the ground beside him. He held the lifeless hand close to his chest, and he wept until there were no more tears left to shed.
"What's gonna happen to me?" Anakin asked. His voice was small as he stared at the pyre, Qui-Gon's body slowly being consumed by the flames surrounding it. "Am I gonna get taken away again?"
Obi-Wan forced himself to look away from his father's body. He looked down at Anakin, just nine years old and looking as if he'd felt all the sadness in the world. His eyes now seemed permanently red from crying so much, and Obi-Wan felt hopelessly unequipped for what he was supposed to do.
But he made a promise; a promise he was going to keep.
"No, you won't." Anakin's head shot up at the sound of Obi-Wan's voice. "I told Qui-Gon I would look after you. You're not going anywhere, Anakin. And I promise you, I will never send you away."
Anakin looked away. After a moment, he reached up and curled a hand around Obi-Wan's robes.
Obi-Wan let the boy's hand stay, and together they watched Qui-Gon's body disappear into ashes.
For the sixth time in a single month, Obi-Wan hovered over Anakin's bed, shaking the trembling boy beneath his hand.
"Anakin! Anakin!" He called out, but the boy kept thrashing, lost in whatever dream plagued him.
In desperation, Obi-Wan gripped both of Anakin's shoulders firmly. He pressed down on them, and when Anakin was forced to take a breath between his cries, Obi-Wan yelled, "Anakin!"
Anakin woke up with a start. His eyes scanned Obi-Wan's face, the room around him, and then Obi-Wan once more. He was still trembling beneath Obi-Wan's hands, but he was no longer crying out.
"You were having another nightmare," Obi-Wan said, trying his best to keep his voice calm and level-headed. "You're alright now, Anakin," he added, hoping it would do something. "You're alright now."
Unfortunately, that something was not what Obi-Wan wanted. "Sorry," Anakin whispered, sitting up in his bed and pulling his knees to his chest. Before his death, Qui-Gon had ensured that Anakin had night clothes that actually fit him, but with Anakin shivering in a little ball, it almost looked like he was trying to get swallowed up by the fabric.
"You don't need to apologize, Anakin." When Anakin didn't respond, Obi-Wan sighed. "Would you like to come downstairs for something?"
To Obi-Wan's relief, Anakin nodded. Together, the two of them went down the stairs of Qui-Gon's house.
My house, Obi-Wan reminded himself as he shuffled around the dim pantry. Instead of making Anakin move into his tiny apartment, Obi-Wan had ended his lease early and moved back into Qui-Gon's home. It was strange walking these hallways without him. Every now and then, Obi-Wan could imagine Qui-Gon popping his head out of the living room, asking Obi-Wan what he was up to and if he was doing alright with exams. They had only moved into this house a year or two before Obi-Wan started university, but it was still the closest thing Obi-Wan had to a childhood home.
And that's probably why, even though Obi-Wan was barely conscious of what he was heating up tattie scones! Of all things!
Before he could mentally berate himself for not knowing if Anakin even liked them, Obi-Wan slid a plate of scones over the kitchen island toward Anakin. The boy took a moment to look over the circular treat. "They're a Scottish dish. Just potatoes and flour. You've probably never had them, but—"
Without any more words, Anakin took a big bite out of the scone. Obi-Wan held his breath as Anakin chewed, his face unreadable as he tried the scone. After finishing, Anakin went in for another bite. Then another. Then another. And when he was done with the first scone, he reached over for a second.
Obi-Wan chuckled to himself in relief. He bit into his own scone, savoring the familiar taste of potato and butter. It wasn't the healthiest thing to give a child, but not many children had nightmares as bad as Anakin's.
They ate in silence for a while, and when Obi-Wan finished his scone, he spoke up to break it. "When I was—"
Obi-Wan choked on his own voice. Anakin raised his head, and knowing that there was a child looking up at him was the only thing that made Obi-Wan start speaking again. "When I had nightmares, Da used to make this for me. Even if it was the middle of the night and he had to leave early in the morning, he'd come down and make this."
Anakin just nodded and looked down at his empty plate. "He was nice," he said.
Obi-Wan smiled. "He was."
"What else did he do?" Anakin asked, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Honestly, Obi-Wan really needed to get him to a barbershop.
"He'd get me to talk about it. You know the temple where I work? Qui-Gon told me he took you a couple of times."
Anakin's eyes lit up, and a beaming smile spread across his face. "The big temple? The one with the swords and the weird robes?"
"Precisely that one. Though I wouldn't recommend you say that in front of Master Windu. He's very strict when it comes to respecting the Order."
"He's kind of scary. But Master Yoda showed me a trick! When he's looking angry, you just stare at his bald head!"
Obi-Wan laughed. "Yes, I suppose that does make him less frightening," he said, filing away that mental note for the next time he saw his colleague. "Beyond the standard sword training and fighting curricula, we're a peace-keeping force. But only for those who have shown enough dedication to join. We work outside any governmental organization, and we go wherever anyone needs help. That's why we teach multiple skills at the temple—not just fighting."
"But fighting's the coolest bit!"
Obi-Wan chuckled. "Yes, I suppose so."
A strange expression crossed over Anakin's face, and the boy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "You call Qui-Gon 'Da', but Master Yoda said you called him 'Master' at the temple. Why?"
"Because he was my master." Obi-Wan's tone turned wistful at the memory. "He was a teacher back at the academy branch in Scotland, and I'd been unwillingly signed up for classes there."
Anakin's mouth dropped open. "You got signed up? By someone else?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "Believe it or not, I used to have my fair share of a temper when I was young."
"That's hard to believe," Anakin said.
"But it's true. The family I was staying with thought it would be a good way to release my anger. Soon enough, I was Qui-Gon's direct apprentice. He knew of my situation, and a few years later, when he had to move back to England, he took me with him. I was thirteen years old."
That explanation didn't seem to help, because Anakin looked even more confused. "I thought Qui-Gon was your dad."
"He was. In every way that mattered." Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "I was like you, Anakin. I didn't have my parents or any family to speak of, but then Da found me and took me in."
Anakin licked his lips and looked down at his lap. "But I have a mom," he said in a small voice. "They just haven't found her yet."
Obi-Wan walked around the kitchen island until he was standing right next to Anakin. "I know," he said.
"I miss them," Anakin choked out, and Obi-Wan's heart broke at the sight of fresh tears falling down the child's face.
Obi-Wan placed a hand on top of Anakin's head. "… I know."
The next morning, Obi-Wan woke up to gleaming sunlight spilling in through a gap in the curtains. Well, the gleaming sunlight and Anakin subconsciously kicking him in the shins.
Obi-Wan looked over at the child next to him. He had thrown half of the bed's sheets onto the floor, and he was in a position that looked very uncomfortable to Obi-Wan, and yet, Anakin looked like he was dreaming peacefully.
It was only a few moments later that Anakin opened his bleary eyes. He blinked a couple of times, quickly raising a hand to block out the incoming sunlight.
"Morning," Obi-Wan said. Anakin looked up at him before turning around and pressing his face into the pillow beneath him. Obi-Wan laughed. Anakin, despite his young age, seemed to be adverse to early mornings.
"Did you used to do this with your dad?" Anakin asked suddenly. His voice was muffled by Obi-Wan's pillow, but it was understandable enough.
"I was a bit older than you when he took me in, so no," Obi-Wan said. Part of him wanted to reach out to Anakin again, but thinking it might be seen as intrusive, he kept the instinct suppressed, instead merely waiting for Anakin to respond.
"Did Qui-Gon like training at the temple?" Anakin asked. He pulled his head up out of the pillow and looked Obi-Wan in the eye.
"Yes," Obi-Wan said honestly. "He did."
"Do you like it?"
Obi-Wan thought through his response. "Yes, I do. It's trying work, and… sometimes it is dangerous, but it's rewarding, all the same. We help people. We are a peacekeeping force, and I am proud to serve within its ranks. Wherever they may need me."
Anakin jumped into a seated position. "Can I try?" He asked, bouncing slightly as he spoke.
Obi-Wan shrugged, but even he had to smile at Anakin's earnestness. "I don't see why not. You might like it even more than I do."
"Woohoo!" Anakin yelled. With a great push, he threw himself up into the air and landed back on the bed with a heavy thump. He laughed with glee at the fun of it all, but that laughter was quickly stopped by a loud rumble coming from the boy's stomach.
"Hungry, are we?" Obi-Wan smirked and pulled himself out of bed. "Come on. Let's get you some breakfast."
Anakin hopped off the bed and followed Obi-Wan to the kitchen. "Can we have the weird pancakes from last night?" He asked.
"They're called tattie scones. And if I hear you call them 'pancakes' one more time, I'll tell Master Windu you think he's scary."
"Hey, no fair!"
"You're not really like a dad," Anakin said.
Obi-Wan glanced at the mirror to look at Anakin in the backseat. "What brought this on?"
"Master Luminara said you were like my dad, but you're not really a dad."
Obi-Wan watched Anakin through the rearview mirror as the boy looked over his newest practice sword, a long saber made out of dark wood. Obi-Wan had just returned on a mission for the Order, and after hearing from Master Luminara that Anakin had been on good behavior, at least, for the most part, Obi-Wan decided that Anakin deserved a reward. And he had to admit, any child who managed to survive getting babysat by Luminara deserves some praise.
It had been just over a year since Anakin had come to live with Obi-Wan, since Obi-Wan had claimed the house that used to be Qui-Gon's, and the two of them had fallen into a rhythm. Work for Obi-Wan, school for Anakin, and training for them both. Fortunately for Obi-Wan, once Anakin had realized that the temple trained the Jedi he had heard about on television so much growing up, Anakin practically lived at the temple as much as Obi-Wan did. And Anakin loved it all. Saber training, forms training, and despite being a ten-year-old child, he even tried to meditate! It was good exercise for the boy, and it kept him busy. Honestly, that was all Obi-Wan needed, but in the end, this training seemed to be doing more good than Obi-Wan could have ever hoped for.
"You certainly don't call me 'Da', that's for certain," Obi-Wan said, turning his eyes back to the road. It wasn't busy by any means, but Anakin kept asking Obi-Wan when he could finally learn how to drive, and it wouldn't be good for the boy to think of driving as a practice one could go at full speed. So Obi-Wan paid extra attention to every stop sign and difficult turn, carefully maneuvering his way down the city roads. "I'm surprised you even call me 'Master Obi-Wan' at the temple."
"Master Yoda wouldn't like it if I didn't," Anakin said with a laugh.
"I suppose not." They reached another stoplight, and Obi-Wan took the opportunity to spin around in his seat. "Does it bother you? That I'm not a dad?"
Anakin was silent. His eyes ran over the long practice sword, but they were unfocused. His fingers even started fidgeting, and the longer the silence went on, the more the boy twisted around in his seat. "Anakin?"
"I don't wanna be alone," he said. His voice was quiet, but in the small car, Obi-Wan heard it perfectly. It was a tone Anakin used often when he had first come to live with Obi-Wan, and it set off warning bells in Obi-Wan's head. He remembered how young Anakin looked back then, small and scared of all the changes happening around him, and he knew he had to say something. Anything.
Obi-Wan's mind raced. There were so many things he could say, but none of them felt right. Obi-Wan was never good with emotions, Qui-Gon had told him as much, and that fact was becoming painfully obvious at this moment. He wished he could say everything on his mind, but in the end, he settled for a sentence that was as simple as it was true. "As long as you're with me, you won't be alone. I promise."
Anakin looked up. His eyes flickered from side to side, but they were now focused on Obi-Wan instead of staring into space. The corner of the boy's lips turned up into a smile—a smile that went wide the second the car behind Obi-Wan started honking.
Obi-Wan held himself back from cursing and glared at the now green light. He moved the car and tried to ignore Anakin. The boy was laughing, hard and bright. "Obi-Wan! Can't you go any faster?" He said in a mocking tone.
"I can, but I will not." Obi-Wan forced himself to use his instructor's voice instead of stopping down to Anakin's level. "Driving can be dangerous if you go too fast."
"No way!" Anakin leaned forward and smiled even brighter. "When I get to drive, I'm gonna drive faster than you ever could! And way better, too!"
"I must say, that will be a very, very interesting day for me," Obi-Wan muttered. Because if the feeling in his gut was correct, Anakin was going to take to driving as quickly as he took to Jedi training. And if Anakin's driving style was anything like his swordplay… Well, Obi-Wan was fairly certain that Anakin's first time behind the wheel will end with Obi-Wan having a heart attack.
"Hold your sword straight," Obi-Wan reminded. Anakin readjusted his grip on his practice saber and held it steady. "Bend the knee more. Until it's at a right angle." Again, Anakin listened to Obi-Wan, lowering his body until the leg was at a perfect ninety-degree angle.
If only you were this obedient when I tell you to do your homework, Obi-Wan couldn't help but think. "Begin!"
With a rare seriousness, Anakin paced through the steps of Form I. They were slower but measured, following the exact steps as they were taught for centuries. Anakin's practice sword moved as swiftly as his arms, slashing, blocking, and weaving in and out of the air with a practiced ease. It even looked like the boy was almost gliding across the wooden floor. His training robes fluttered and snapped with each precise movement, the noises as good an indicator as any that Anakin was giving his all.
Obi-Wan looked on from the side and smiled. It had been three years since Anakin had come to live with him, and the boy had progressed steadily through the Jedi forms. As well-known as the Jedi were, not many pupils showed immense dedication to training at the temple. But like how Qui-Gon had seen potential in Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan and the other instructors saw potential in Anakin.
And Anakin showed as much enthusiasm for the Order as Obi-Wan did.
Anakin finished the first form. "Next!" Obi-Wan called out, and Anakin immediately began going through the motions of Form II. Anakin's steps and strikes gained speed and strength, and though his attacks at the air held greater ferocity, they were no less accurate than his strikes in Form I.
Obi-Wan glanced over at the temple's Council Masters, all of whom were seated on raised cushions that allowed them to survey the entire room. They pretended to talk amongst themselves, going over the details of temple management and new missions for official members, but even their chatter seemed to be meaningless. Anakin was paying no attention to them, instead focusing only on the form and his movements.
With a final shout, Anakin finished the form. He held his sword outwards, pointed directly at the council members, and held it steady, waiting for Obi-Wan's command.
"Final form!" Obi-Wan said.
Anakin pulled the sword back and held it across his chest in a protective stance. With smooth movements, the twelve-year-old slashed and blocked against an invisible opponent. This form required immense muscle control since the slower pace of the form taxed the body over time. And yet, Anakin went through the motions beautifully, keeping his body low to the ground and his sword swings tightly controlled.
As Anakin went through the slow form, Obi-Wan allowed himself to smile. Aside from himself and the Council, the temple was empty. All the other children had been excused, and it was only Anakin who remained in the circular training room, on the pretense of Obi-Wan wanting to review his mastery of the first three forms. Anakin didn't even question it.
There was a slight shuffling sound outside the window beside Obi-Wan, and he did his best to keep his face neutral. It was likely that no one on the Council would notice, but it was still better to stay on the safe side.
Finally, after a few more minutes, Anakin lowered his sword. He stood up to attention, and Obi-Wan turned to the Masters.
"Well done, Anakin," Master Plo Koon said. He used a special mask to help him breathe due to an accident in his childhood, but even though most younglings tended to be frightened of him, he was one of the kindest Jedi Obi-Wan had ever met. "You've certainly improved."
Grandmaster Yoda, a short, elderly man who could still beat anyone and everyone in the temple, hummed in agreement. "An ascension in order, it seems."
"Ascension?" Anakin looked between the Masters and Obi-Wan in confusion.
"He has passed all of the tests," Master Billaba said.
"I concur," Master Piell agreed.
"All those in favor of promoting Anakin to the rank of Padawan," Master Windu said, "raise your hand."
All eight members of the Council did so.
"Spoken, the Council has." Master Yoda raised a wrinkled hand towards Anakin. "Anakin Skywalker, come."
Anakin took a hesitant few steps forward before turning to Obi-Wan. "Why didn't you tell me this was a test?" He asked, and Obi-Wan could hear the annoyance in his voice.
Obi-Wan chuckled. "Because it could have influenced your behavior. We wanted to see who you are in an ordinary setting—not who you are because it is a test."
"And… I passed?" Anakin turned to Master Yoda. Long gone were the days of Anakin's hair falling over his face, and he met Master Yoda's eyes proudly. Even Anakin's blond hair had fully faded into a dark brown color, and, at least in Obi-Wan's eyes, it made Anakin look more mature.
"Wish to become a Padawan, do you?" Master Yoda asked.
"Yes!" Anakin screamed, not caring for the integrity of Obi-Wan's eardrums. "Yes, I do."
Master Windu rose from his seat and stared down at Anakin. "The role of padawan is a serious matter. This training, it is dedication that goes beyond the instruction we give to our usual pupils. This is an invitation to an organization that strives to achieve peace in the world and fights to protect those who cannot protect themselves. Do you understand this?"
Anakin nodded, but Obi-Wan could see how much his eyes were shining. "I do."
"Then hand me your sword." Master Windu extended an open palm, and Anakin gently set the hilt of his practice sword into the master's hand. "Kneel before the Council."
Anakin did just that. He settled onto the floor and bowed his head just as Master Windu raised the sword.
"Do you swear to uphold the Jedi Order," he said, "respecting those who came before you, and dedicating yourself to shielding others who need such protection?"
Anakin nodded. "I do."
"And do you swear to fight for the light? To fight to dispel the dark, and bring forth an era of peace?"
"I do."
Master Windu lowered the sword and gently tapped each of Anakin's shoulders. "Then I hereby declare you, Anakin Skywalker, Padawan of the Jedi Order."
The Council's thunderous applause echoed around the room. Anakin raised his head, and he grinned. Everyone, even Master Windu, joined in the applause as Anakin stood up and bowed to the Council.
Obi-Wan looked on in pride as Anakin gratefully took his sword back from Master Windu. Obi-Wan knew that this day would come ever since Anakin started training, but seeing it happen before his eyes, he didn't expect the immense joy he felt in this moment. Anakin has trained hard, and he has earned this all by himself.
Obi-Wan wondered what Qui-Gon would say at this moment.
"Now that you are a Padawan," Master Windu said once the applause had died down. "You will be assigned a master who will oversee your training until such a time that you are ready to become a Jedi. Does anyone know of a Master who wishes to take Anakin as a Padawan?"
"There is." Obi-Wan stepped forward until he was standing right beside Anakin. Facing the Council, he bowed deeply. "I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, wish to take Anakin as my apprentice, just as Qui-Gon took me as his."
Master Windu nodded. "You understand the responsibilities you are about to undertake?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "I promise, it cannot be harder than already being his guardian."
"It is decided," Master Plo said. "Anakin, do you accept Obi-Wan Kenobi as your master?"
"Yes." Anakin laughed. "He'd probably ground me if I say 'no'."
"A wise decision," Obi-Wan said, to which Anakin rolled his eyes. Normally, Obi-Wan would scold him for that, but today was a celebration. A new step in Anakin's life.
From one of the deep pockets in his robe, Obi-Wan pulled out a set of silka beads that hung on a single thread. Anakin set his eyes on them immediately. Though Anakin was only just promoted, he had spent enough time with Obi-Wan to recognize the Padawan beads, and he gasped a little when Obi-Wan went to attach them. Obi-Wan gently clasped them around a small section of hair at the back of Anakin's neck, and he let them drape over the boy's shoulders. Anakin would wear the silka beads until a section of hair was long enough to twist into a Padawan braid, and even though they were only a substitute, Anakin gazed over them in amazement. He tugged at the beads and traced each one of them with his fingers, taking in every detail.
"Welcome to the Jedi Order," Obi-Wan said.
Anakin looked up at him, and he was wearing the brightest smile Obi-Wan had ever seen.
"Obi-Wan! Why didn't you tell me?" Were the first words out of Anakin's mouth as they returned home.
"Didn't you hear the Council?" Obi-Wan said, making a b-line for the kitchen. "The trails for potential padawans are supposed to be secret."
"Yeah, but you're my guardian." Anakin trotted behind him. He was just as giddy as he was after the ceremony, but Obi-Wan didn't fail to notice the annoyance in the boy's voice. "Wouldn't it be worse for you if I sucked and failed?"
Obi-Wan shook his head and opened the fridge. "Anakin, I have watched you grow for the past three years. You are one of the most talented pupils the academy has ever seen, and I do believe it would be difficult for you to 'suck', as you say."
"Uh huh." Obi-Wan could just hear Anakin roll his eyes. "Sure you do."
"If I did think that," Obi-Wan said as he pulled out the double chocolate cake he'd hidden behind the vegetables, "then I suppose I shall have to eat this all by myself."
The look of sheer panic on Anakin's face was priceless. Obi-Wan watched as Anakin all but ripped the cake out of his hands and slammed it onto the kitchen counter. Thank god he's taught Anakin manners, because he had a feeling that there was very little stopping Anakin from digging into the cake with his bare hands.
They ate for a while. Well, it's more like Anakin ate while Obi-Wan only had a small slice. It was rare for the two of them to celebrate anything, and it was even rarer for Obi-Wan to bring any kind of sugary desserts into the house in fear of Anakin having a sugar rush, But today was an important day. At just twelve, Anakin was officially one of the youngest people ever to have been admitted to the rank of Padawan. It was said that not even Master Yoda achieved the rank that young, so Obi-Wan sat back and watched as Anakin scarfed down the chocolate monstrosity with glee.
"Congratulations, Anakin," he said as Anakin finished yet another slice. "You've earned this."
"I better have!" He gave Obi-Wan a chocolate-covered grin, and Obi-Wan was just happy that none of the chocolate had fallen onto the silka beads. "If I'd failed, you wouldn't have let me forget it!"
"Possibly. But that's not what I'm talking about." Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "I know these past few years have not been easy, but you have preserved through it all. That is an admirable accomplishment."
Anakin gave him the side-eye. "Can I say that next time you ground me?"
"I'm being serious, Anakin." Slowly, Obi-Wan walked over to a drawer in the kitchen countertop. It was typically filled with documents and bills that Anakin had no interest in, meaning it was the ideal spot to hide something he didn't want Anakin to know he had. At least, not until now. "Your teacher showed me your last assignment."
Obi-Wan set the papers on the kitchen table. Anakin sucked in a tight breath.
It was an English assignment that Anakin had handed in a couple of weeks ago. According to Anakin's teacher, the topic revolved around picking the emotion you feel most often and writing an essay about it. It was as much a personal exercise as it was an academic one, but after reading the assignment, the teacher had promptly called Obi-Wan and told him to read it. So Obi-Wan did, and his fingers hovered atop the essay's title.
Why I'm afraid of being alone, by Anakin Skywalker.
It had gone into more detail than Obi-Wan had expected. Anakin had practically recounted his entire life in three sheets of paper, and Obi-Wan learned new details about Anakin's past he'd been too afraid to ask about. Anakin started talking about when he was a child and kept asking his mother who his father was, why he had left them. It then moved on to the day of his mother's disappearance, and how he traveled by himself to city after city trying to find her until he himself was found by a teenage girl and her friends at a bus stop. The girl had talked to him and listened to his story. She convinced Anakin to get help from the police and had promised to keep in touch, but a scuffle involving the girl's father prevented Anakin from getting her contact information. Then he wrote about Qui-Gon's death, and about how the first person he could ever see as a father took care of him, only to die a few weeks after he'd met him.
But what truly frightened Obi-Wan was the final paragraph.
I've lived with Obi-Wan for three years, but sometimes I think he doesn't like me. He's really strict, and sometimes he grounds me for little things. But I'm scared because I don't think he really wants me. He only kept me because he promised Qui-Gon, and I'm afraid that one day he'll get sick of me. One day he told me that I wouldn't be alone if I was with him, but that doesn't mean he'll stick around. He's not my dad, so he doesn't have to keep me. That means that he'll leave one day. Just like everyone else did. And I'll be alone.
Anakin's eyes scanned over his own handwriting before looking down at the table. Obi-Wan sighed. "Anakin—"
"What?" Anakin's tone was harsh. It sounded angry, but beneath it, Obi-Wan could hear the boy's fear. It was the same terror that colored Anakin's voice whenever he had nightmares as a child. It reminded Obi-Wan of Anakin at Qui-Gon's funeral.
"I am truly sorry that I do not know where your mother is," Obi-Wan said. "If I knew, I'd take you to her in a heartbeat, even if it meant you'd have to leave. I'm sorry I am not a father. I'm sorry I am not Qui-Gon."
Anakin looked up at him. The look in his eyes, he was suddenly hanging on to every word Obi-Wan was saying, but Obi-Wan had never been good at expressing what he felt. He might have earned the nickname 'Master Negotiator' from his peers, but they had never seen Obi-Wan struggle to speak with Anakin, a boy who seemed to feel emotions more acutely than most.
What could Obi-Wan say? There were so many moments of his time with Anakin that echoed in his mind. His nervousness at taking in a boy he barely knew, his relief when Anakin and he had bonded over training at the Academy, his exasperation whenever he and his friend Rex would get themselves into trouble, and even the joy he felt at seeing Anakin just living his life. He had only known Anakin for three years, and yet Obi-Wan could no longer imagine a life without him. He had seen Anakin grow so much, and he wanted to continue seeing him grow.
And as he thought that, Obi-Wan spoke the only words he could trust himself to say. "But I want you to know this, Anakin. As your guardian, and now as your Master… I am very proud of you."
Anakin's eyes shined, and Obi-Wan realized that this was the first time he had said something like this to Anakin.
Carefully, Obi-Wan made his way around the table until he was standing right beside Anakin's seat. He placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, took in a deep breath, and he summoned the courage to speak again. "I am proud of you as you are, and I am proud of the man you are becoming. And no matter what happens, you will always have a home with the Order, and… and with me."
Anakin's face scrunched up. Obi-Wan's mind immediately went into overdrive, wondering where he had faltered and what words were wrong. But to his surprise, Anakin didn't seem angry. He didn't roll his eyes or storm off. Instead, he launched himself out of his chair and threw his arms around Obi-Wan's middle.
Obi-Wan blinked in shock. He gently wrapped his own arms around Anakin, still unsure of what to make of this. They had never really done this, him and Anakin. Obi-Wan always felt like he'd be intruding too much onto Anakin's space. But when Obi-Wan's arms encircled Anakin, the boy just hugged him tighter, so Obi-Wan did the same.
Obi-Wan felt his shirt grow wet from Anakin's tears, but he paid it no mind. This talk had done nothing to find Anakin's mother, nor to bring Qui-Gon back, but rarely did Obi-Wan see Anakin be so still and calm. Even when meditating, Anakin always seemed plagued by something deep in his mind. It would make him twitch and grimace, and Obi-Wan knew that something from his past was coming to haunt him. But right now, even if it was for the briefest moment, Obi-Wan felt Anakin be at peace.
They stayed that way for a very long time.