I know how much you all missed José, well here he is.
Your word doesn't mean jack shit.
Anastasia
I was supposed to meet Mrs. Erikson this afternoon but this mediation has thrown off my whole schedule so I reached out to her asking if she'd be available to meet me sometime next week and that our offer for her book still stands. Roach however has given me the go ahead to raise the offer if need be, given the new influx of cash. She hasn't responded and I'd really like some semblance of a win today or something to look forward to. I get a very bad feeling about today, otherwise. The coldness and transactional nature of all this over a bright and beautiful child, my child, is driving me to the brink of a nervous breakdown.
I didn't want anyone but Mr. Koslov accompanying me to the mediator's office. It's located in a very fancy office building with views of downtown Seattle… I guess mediators definitely make a shit ton of money. But I am not entirely alone, Christian is with me. He insisted, of course he did and I really didn't have it in me to argue with him. I'm just so exhausted.
My eyes remained fixed on the I-5 as we sit here in this private conference room. Mr. Koslov is at the other end making a call, while Christian sits on one of the chairs next to me, holding my hand with his thumb rhythmically stroking the back of my palm. Another added piece of the anxiety puzzle is that José and his lawyer are already 45 minutes late. Sloane needs to be picked up from daycare at 5pm which means we'll either have only an hour to hash this out or less than that.
"This fucking ridiculous," Christian growls, looking at his phone for the umpteenth time. "It's a fucking power play."
I don't answer, what does anyone say to that?
"It's gonna be fine, baby," he raises my hand to kiss it and I silently nod, keeping my eyes fixed on the cars driving along the curve of the highway. "Hey, look at me."
When my eyes meet his, I study his face in detail and it feels a little foreign to me but not in a bad way, more like…, well, it feels like I'm having an out of body experience right now. I'm trapped inside of myself but I'm also watching myself from afar.
"What are you thinking about?" He asks me. My eyes look upward then out the window again and I give him a slight shake of the head.
"Nothing other than the fact that I want this meeting to be over."
He brings his hand to my face and leans over to kiss me tenderly, whispering affirming words but it's hard to hear them because all they do is make me want to cry and I can't show that kind of emotion right now. I can't go in with a freshly cried face. That way, José will feel like he's won and make him even more difficult to deal with.
As it is, Mr. Koslove has instructed me to keep my emotions in check and not give the other side any ammunition to use against me. That's the real challenge here because truthfully I want to rip José's face into a million pieces and feed it to the dogs.
There's a knock on the glass door and we all turn to see the bright faced intern who sat us here earlier.
"Mr. Rodriguez has arrived with his counsel. They're set up in conference room C, just down the hall. I'll walk you," she smiles and waits in the hallway for us.
Mr. Koslov is the first to exit and Christian asks for a minute before I walk out myself.
He cradles my face and looks into my eyes.
"Christian, don't…" my voice trembles and I grind my teeth. I can't break down, not now.
"Don't back down and don't let him get to you." I nod quickly, wishing he'd let me go because my resolve is waning, "I love you."
First crack in the dam appears.
"I love you, too." I whisper and he gives me a searing kiss before letting me go and telling me that he'll wait for me in this room.
I take deep breaths as we walk towards the conference room in question. Entering in, Mr. Koslov is the first to make note of the unprofessionalism displayed by the opposing side given the 45 minute wait. We're brushed off citing a work emergency at Acero.
I try hard not to roll my eyes and see José all dressed up like a motherfucking peacock. Money and expensive, well tailored suits can make any man look good but when you know how rotten his mind and heart are, then the surface of who he is is less than a momentary distraction from the truth. Objectively, he looks good but I can't see it because to me he looks like an ugly, self serving leech who wants to take my baby away from me.
We go back and forth as expected with the help of the mediator and attorneys. My request for a drug test and psych evaluation is accepted and José gives a signal to his amenability to joint custody instead of sole custody as originally petitioned. I don't like it because I want full custody but as life has taught me again and again, I won't always get what I want.
The supervised visits become a point of contention and we go back and forth on that for several minutes till I check the time and see that it's 4:34pm. I signal Mr. Koslov and we agree to table this discussion for a later date and move on to the pressing matter at hand.
Sloane's birthday.
Mr. Koslov has mentioned that given José's petition, I would need permission to take Sloane out of the state or risk being charged for kidnapping.
"My client has a birthday trip planned for Sloane's fifth birthday that will take place next weekend in California. We've prepared a letter with all the relevant details to be signed by both parties acknowledging and granting permission for this to take place." Mr Koslov, passes the piece of paper across the table.
José's lawyer, Mr. Minskoff reads it over and then hands it to José who barely looks at it for a second and slides it back to his lawyer shaking his head.
"My client will not be granting permission for this."
"But…" I start to speak and remember to keep my emotions in check, "she's been looking forward to this trip all summer. She's turning five and it's only for the weekend, I mean come on."
"Then let her go to Mexico with me the following week." José counters.
"Mr. Rodriguez, there is a huge difference between taking a child for a short trip out of state than taking them to an entirely different country." Mr. Koslov argues. "How long will this trip be?"
"A week. It's with my wife and my family. Ana is more than welcome to accompany us," José replies.
"I can't, I told you. I just started a new job, I can't take a week off for vacation." I tell the room. Well, that and the fact that I might murder his wife.
"Could Ana and I please have the room?" José says. "There's a private matter I'd like to discuss. I'll keep it brief."
Mr. Koslov waits for my approval before getting up and I notice everyone is looking at me for an answer.
I nod hurriedly and pull my phone out of the bag to check the time before putting my phone back facedown on the table. My attorney along with José's and the mediator all step out of the conference room and close the door. It's an all glass conference room and my back to the side that runs along the hallways so no one can see my expressions but José sits across from me. He leans over, crossing his arms and looks at me for a long moment before speaking.
"This doesn't have to be difficult, Ana."
"I agree. Drop the suit and it won't be."
He laughs, "you've gotten funny over the years, I'll give you that."
I roll my eyes and close them briefly, summoning all my common sense to remain civil.
"José, it's her birthday. Please do not use this as a bargaining chip. She's turning five and she's so excited."
"I told you, she comes to Mexico with me and she can go to Disneyland with you."
"You know I won't agree to that."
"Then I guess all this is on you," he shrugs.
I bite my lip and swallow, taking a long and deep breath as my mind races to find the next words to say.
"She's a little girl, José. Please."
"Is he going?"
"Why does it matter?"
He scoffs and shakes his head in disgust,"this show you're putting on? You're no different than Carla. Gaia was right about you." His tone is full of derision and contempt for me, "I finally see you for who you are."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Anchoring on a rich man. How you lied and deceived me, trying to trap me with the pregnancy. Gaia finally told me everything, all the shit you did, keeping us apart. All that fucking scheming and you still failed."
Did I just hear this man right?
"You claim that I have mental health issues but it's clear where the crazy is coming from right now," I bark out a humorless laugh, "you and your wife both need to get yourselves checked out."
"Don't fucking speak about her like that."
"Then stop repeating the lies she's told you. I did no such thing but as always, you'd rather believe her than me. The fact that you're giving her precedence over our daughter's life is a clear indication that you are not fit to be her father."
"And yet, in the eyes of the law I am her father. It's a fact that you cannot erase."
I rub my forehead and exhale roughly, "José, please let this birthday trip happen. She talks about it every day. Don't do this to her. Please."
"I won't be doing this to her, you will be. You're going to break the news to her or maybe you won't have to… unless you find a way to convince me otherwise."
I do my best to fight a wave of tears threatening to fall. "What do you want me to do? Get on my knees and beg for you to not ruin Sloane's birthday?"
"That would be a start and while you're there, you can suck my dick. You were adequate in that department," he smirks. "Now if you'd shown some enthusiasm back then I'd rate you higher than a B-."
There is so much I can say but I am trying to keep it together. He's baiting me and trying to set me up for failure but I hang strong to my resolve.
"How does it feel?" He asks, "these past few years you've been having the time of your life ridiculing me and now you're on the other end of it and you look so pathetic. Should've thought about flaunting your gay boyfriend in front of my face."
I clench my jaw and look down at the table. Defending Christian will only add fuel to the fire.
"What do you want?" I grit out.
"I want that so-called boyfriend of yours to invest in Acero."
That makes me laugh. Yeah not happening.
"You're already valued at over $500 million, Acero is doing well. You don't need his investment."
"Having Christian Grey invest in Acero raises our valuation significantly, making us within spitting distance of a billion by the next funding round."
"I can't ask Christian to do what you're asking for," I reply.
He leans back in his chair, a smug smile on his lips while he crosses his leg resting his ankle on his knee.
"Of course you can…. use your imagination a little. The way I see it, they're three things happening here," he holds up three fingers to drive the point home, "this is all a front and he's trying to boost his image and show himself a normal straight guy when you eventually go public, number two; and even if he is gay, put a bag on your head, lie there and take it and if by some chance he is straight… then you might want to read some cosmo or watch some porn to get creative and make him do what you want. Call Carla for tips if anything."
I roll my eyes and rub my face, finding it near impossible to keep it together.
"Your eloquently creative suggestions aside," I start to reply through clenched teeth, "he won't go for it and even if he did, what guarantee do I have you won't pull this shit again? That you won't ask for more money or some other ridiculous thing?"
"You only have two options, Annie." He cocks his head to the side, "he invests and I drop the suit or he doesn't invest and Sloane is mine."
"I can't make him do something he doesn't want to, José."
I'm not going to ask him for money. Morton's menacing words echo in the distance and I do my best to shut down that memory.
He exhales and shrugs, "well, if you can't make it work then dump him and I'll consider dropping the suit entirely. And don't for a second think you can get back with him at a later date… cause I will sue you for custody again."
"So that's what it is then… you don't want me dating him. You get to be married but I'm not allowed to date anyone and find happiness?"
"You don't deserve it," he snarls.
He's decided that he's the judge and jury of my fate over some stupid bullshit Gaia's fed him. I can't convince him otherwise.
"What guarantee do I have that you'll drop the suit? Your word doesn't mean jack shit."
"Guess you won't know till you know."
I lean forward and rub my temples. There's no real way I win here.
"Tick tock, Annie," he sing songs the words, "what'll it be? Your pride or your child?""
A/N: I'm dying to hear what you all think along with what you think Ana should do.
Btw, there will be a bonus POV from Gaia coming later this week or tomorrow (depending on the reviews, lol). But it will only be posted on my wordpress blog if you're interested; paleseptember10 - wordpress - com