Hi guys! I am so sorry for my lack in updates as of late. Usually I try and update every 2-3 months when I can catch some sort of a break from school but unfortunately, that hasn't been the case. Let's just say life got in the way and caused a huge decline in my mental health for awhile but I'm doing better now. You guys have been extremely patient with me and I apologize that I couldn't get this chapter out sooner. This is a slightly longer chapter than ones I have put out in the past but after the long few months I have had, I wanted to write something a little less somber. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and its characters belong solely to JK Rowling. I only own the plot for this story.
Chapter 8: Making Progress
"What if we didn't go back?" Harry asked as he mindlessly pulled apart the stick in his hands, breaking it into smaller pieces out of sheer and utter boredom.
They had been on the hunt for horcruxes for awhile now, trying to locate and destroy them before Voldemort or his army of Death Eaters could find them. However, they were having no such luck in pinpointing them and the ones that they did find, they weren't entirely sure how to destroy. With Ron having left them to return home to his family after another brutal attack by the Death Eaters, the golden trio was officially at an impasse with their task. Time was running out and their patience was on incredibly thin ice.
Hermione glanced up from the book Dumbledore gave her to look at her best friend. "What?"
Harry paused what he was doing so he could meet her gaze. "What if we didn't go back? What if we stayed out here? Just the two of us?"
"And do what?" She asked him. "Harry, we're not safe here. Voldemort and the Death Eaters are after us,"
"So? When has that ever stopped us before? Hermione, we could do whatever we want out here. We wouldn't have to worry about Voldemort or the horcruxes-" he tried to explain, but Hermione interrupted him.
"And let our friends that are fighting for us- fighting for you, die? Voldemort won't stop until he finds you Harry. What kind of life would we be living if we gave up now?" Hermione asked, trying to make a point.
Harry mulled over her words, giving each question a considerable amount of thought. Finally, he answered. "I suppose you're right, like you always are. I can't let our friends die in vain all because they were trying to protect me, especially when this isn't even under their control to begin with. It wouldn't be morally right to let them sacrifice their lives for a fight that they didn't even start." He paused briefly, allowing a heavy sigh to fall from his lips. After a few silent moments, he spoke again, discarding the broken stick in his hands and wiping the dirt from his hands on his pants. "Besides, living a life on the run isn't exactly what you'd call a normal life."
"Since when have our lives ever been normal?" She jested in an attempt to lighten the mood. Her inquiry incited a chuckle out of Harry.
He leaned back so that he could prop his body against the trunk of the tree, dropping his head on Hermione's shoulder. Out of habit, Hermione searched for his hand and when she found it, she intertwined their fingers, setting their hands in her lap. It was a gesture made purely for comfort; she needed to know that Harry was there- that he was alive and by her side, and that he was okay. Harry's thumb began mindlessly tracing over her dry and cracked knuckles, trying to soothe the tension that she had been holding in for the past few weeks. Hermione delicately shut her book, setting it aside on the dirt next to her. Leaning her head back against the tree bark, she sighed.
"Do you think we'll ever make it out of this?" She asked to break the silence.
Harry pondered her question a moment before he eventually answered. "I don't know. Defeating Voldemort and ending this war seems like it's ages away, if at all. But what I do know is that we can't give up, not yet, not while we've still got a fighting chance."
"When did you become so wise?" She asked with a small smile, allowing her head to fall on top of Harry's.
"I've always been wise," Harry replied rather cheekily. "You just never noticed."
Hermione lightly smacked his arm. She couldn't help the widening of her smile. "Don't let my words fuel your ego too much, Harry. I don't need your head getting any bigger than it already is."
"Well I got you to smile, didn't I?" He shot back.
"Yes you did." Hermione said, releasing a small chuckle as her smile began to fade. She grew silent for a few moments before she spoke again. "Thank you. I really needed that,"
"Of course. I know that things haven't been exactly easy these past few months but I'm happy you're here with me. You've stuck by me when most people haven't and I could never thank you enough for all that you've done for me." Harry said, a small smile spreading along the corners of his mouth.
Hermione smiled softly, squeezing his hand. "You're my best friend, Harry. I won't ever abandon you. You and me? We're in this together. Nothing is ever going to change that."
A firm knock on the door startled her awake. "Hermione? Are you awake?"
Jumping at the sudden noise, the young witch sat up on her elbows, rubbing at her sleep-filled eyes. She yawned. "Who is it?"
"It's Lily," A soft voice replied from the other side of the closed door. "May I come in?"
Sitting up fully, Hermione realized that she was still wearing the same clothes from the day prior. Becoming increasingly more alert, she rolled out of bed and began scrambling around the room to find and switch into a clean pair of clothes. She had forgotten briefly where she was and what she was doing. Finding a clean pair of pants and a pale pink sweater, she threw them on and quickly discarded her filthy clothes out of sight. Walking towards the bedroom door, Hermione began attempting to work out the mass of tangles in her hair with her fingers to at least make her unruly hair look a bit more presentable.
"Just a moment," she replied, smoothing out her clothes once more before opening the door. She gave Lily a small smile as she pulled the door open wider, providing enough space so that she could come inside.
Lily stepped inside, returning Hermione's smile as she stepped towards the bed so that she could have a proper seat. Once she was situated, Hermione took the seat beside the redhead. "What brings you by, Lily?"
Lily cleared her throat, flicking her gaze up to meet Hermione's. "James told me what happened in Diagon Alley yesterday. I wanted to make sure that you were ok?"
The brunette nodded, though she was unable to prevent her shoulders from tensing slightly at the mention of the previous day's events. "I'm fine. I suppose I was just a little startled, but I'm doing much better now."
"I think you were more than just startled by what happened," Lily replied, much to Hermione's displeasure.
Her eyebrows creased in a mix of confusion and shock. She opened her mouth to speak, a question on the tip of her tongue when Lily spoke first. "I talked to Remus before coming here. After James told me what happened, I wanted to make sure that the both of you were alright. He said that you were quite shaken up by the ordeal and that you turned as white as a sheet,"
Hermione frowned and looked away from Lily, swallowing the lump that she could feel beginning to form in the back of her throat. Tears stung the corners of her eyes as flashes of the attack resurfaced in her mind. She blinked back her tears. She wasn't ready to relive the previous day's events, not now and certainly not again. A gentle hand rested atop her own, pulling her back off the edge from the dark thoughts and memories that clouded her brain. Glancing down, she found Lily's hand giving hers a gentle yet reassuring squeeze.
"It's ok, you don't have to explain anything to me if you're not comfortable with it. After everything that the boys told me, it became clear to me that the attack yesterday wasn't something that was uncommon to you. Yesterday wasn't the first time you witnessed a Death Eater attack, was it?" Lily asked, her voice soft and gentle.
Hermione shook her head, removing her hand from the other witch's and setting it back in her lap. "No, it wasn't."
Frowning, Lily swallowed. "How many?"
"What?" The brunette asked, caught off guard by the witch's sudden question.
"How many attacks have you been in- from your own time? How many have happened?" She asked, clarifying her question.
"Too many to count." Hermione stated with a sigh. A few moments passed before she spoke again, deciding that talking was ultimately better than sitting in complete silence. "After you've witnessed a couple Death Eater attacks, you start losing track of when new ones happen. Soon it becomes a thing you read about every day until it becomes completely normal, so normal that you forget what life was like before they started happening. And it never matters what you try to do because you can't do anything to stop them from occurring,"
"It makes you feel useless," Lily added.
Hermione nodded. "And guilty."
"While I haven't personally witnessed a Death Eater attack, I understand what it's like to feel helpless in a situation you have absolutely no control over," Lily said, trying to empathize.
"Is that why you joined the Order? So you could have some sort of control and lend a helping hand when it was needed?" Hermione asked, her eyes finally returning to Lily's.
She nodded. "I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to help muggle-born witches and wizards like me who struggle to find a place among the wizarding world. I wanted to shield them from harm and protect them from the Dark Lord who would do anything to eradicate them." Lily paused and swallowed, redirecting her gaze to her lap and to the hand that cradled her pregnant belly. "I wish more than anything that I could do more, that I could be more useful to the Order but what use can a pregnant witch be to a group of people who are actively fighting on the front lines, opposing the very thing that seeks to destroy us?"
"You're protecting your child. That in no way makes you useless. You might not be able to help the Order by directly putting yourself on the front lines, but you're making a difference just by being there for everyone else." Hermione said, giving the redhead a reassuring smile. "Though I don't know you very well, I've seen enough this past week to know that you are selfless Lily. You care a great deal about other people and you don't hesitate to put someone else's needs before your own, regardless of the consequences."
"I suppose that's true," Lily replied, returning Hermione's soft smile.
"You were the first person to show me kindness here in this time and you were the only person to give me the benefit of the doubt despite everyone else's conclusions when I first arrived here. That is something I don't think I'll ever forget for the rest of my life."
"You're too kind," Lily replied. Silence washed over the two women as they enjoyed each other's company.
It reminded Hermione briefly of when her and Ginny used to sit in the Burrow during the holidays or in the Gryffindor common room and have deep conversations over things much like this. It made her heart ache but not in such a way that made her feel sad. For the first time in a long time, Hermione felt a little at peace for the simple fact that she had someone she could talk to without having to think of all the people she had lost over the years. It made her feel good knowing that there was still someone she could rely on for comfort so that she didn't have to balance the weight of the world on her shoulders entirely alone.
"You know, it's nice to have another woman to talk to. I love the boys, but sometimes they're just so- I don't know, vexing." Lily said as she readjusted her position slightly to make herself more comfortable.
Hermione chuckled, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She was unable to prevent the smile that spread across her face at the thought of Harry and Ron. "I know exactly what you mean. My friends back home are boys and they would constantly get themselves into trouble. They acted like children more times than they did adults and though it was absolutely infuriating, I didn't love them any less for it."
"Where are they now? Your friends?" Lily asked.
Her smile faded as her mind drifted back to the battle at Hogwarts and the lifeless eyes of her friends as they stared back at her. Her shoulders noticeably tensed as Hermione began to fidget with her hands out of pure nervous habit. "They're dead."
Guilt flooding her face, Lily immediately began apologizing. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"You didn't know. How could you have? I've only been here for a week, I don't expect any of you to know my life story."
"Week or not, it was wrong of me to ask, especially considering the circumstances surrounding your arrival." Lily explained. "I should have known better and for that I am sorry."
"All is forgiven," Hermione replied, her voice sincere. "Can I ask you something?"
"Hmm?"
"Can we have more conversations like this in the future? I know that we don't know one another all that well but I would very much like to get to know you, just as I am sure that you want to get to know me. Like you said, it's nice to have another woman to talk to about these things and I believe that doing this every once in awhile would be nice- for the both of us." Hermione explained.
Lily couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her lips at the offer. "I think I would like that very much."
~HP~
The majority of the day had passed by relatively smoothly for Hermione. A lot of the weight she had been carrying on her shoulders had eased after her conversation with Lily earlier that morning. Her heart felt lighter and her head less burdened as some of the guilt and the grief she had held onto for so long finally worked itself out, even if only a little. She was able to find comfort in speaking with Lily, so much so that some of her doubts regarding her mission and her place in this time eased. She was finally beginning to gain some trust among the marauders and Lily Potter. Though Hermione still had a long way to go before she would finally be able to be trusted and relied on by the members of the Order, she was beginning to see the hope for her future become a little less blurry.
"Miss Granger." Dumbledore's voice rang in her ears, causing the young witch to snap out of whatever mindless stupor she had found herself in.
Blinking, Hermione refocused her eyes on her former headmaster sitting across from her. "Yes?"
The faint hint of a smile graced the old wizard's lips as he looked at her from over the rims of his spectacles, a glint of humor in his eyes. "You haven't been paying attention to a single word that I've said, have you?"
Feeling somewhat guilty, Hermione shook her head, a small sigh falling from her lips as she sunk back into her chair. "No sir, I'm sorry. It seems that my focus today is a bit elsewhere,"
"I see. Very well. I suppose I can make this quick," he replied, readjusted his spectacles atop his nose. Reaching out his wand and giving a quick flick of his wrist, Dumbledore conjured a folder from his robes and set it delicately on the table. "Within this folder contains your identity, the details of which have been falsified in order to protect your cover while you remain here in this timeline."
Opening the folder, Hermione's eyes scanned over the page as she quickly read through all the details. Her name would remain the same but no longer was she a muggle-born witch that attended Hogwarts for her primary source of study. Instead she was a half-blood raised in muggle London and given informal schooling by her parents so that she could partake in both muggle and magical studies. According to the details of the file, her supposed parents in this timeline were two of the fatalities in one of the first Death Eater attacks on muggle society. So far, everything that she had read over made sense. There were no loopholes or empty spaces that could lead another person to suspect that she was from another decade.
She flipped the page, revealing even more documentation regarding her and her life. Quickly reading through it, Hermione turned to the last page. It was about the Ministry. Her eyebrows knitted together in silent inquiry as she looked over the fine print, thoroughly reading through every detail. The page's contents contained the very scarce details of the job she was to take at the Ministry.
"Is there a problem Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes watching her curiously.
Looking up, Hermione closed the folder and leaned back in her chair. "I'm just a bit confused. When you said that you would look into securing me a job at the Ministry, I expected to be placed in a position where I would be able to blend in without being under the watchful eye of other Ministry employees. I didn't expect something like this,"
"Yes, I suppose a position as an Unspeakable would be quite shocking at first glance." Her former headmaster stated, pressing his lips together as he shifted in his seat, folding his hands in front of him on the table. "However, I firmly believe that a position as an Unspeakable at the Ministry would provide you with a substantial amount of cover, protection that you would not receive if you were stationed within a different department."
"I understand that the Department of Mysteries is the only department in the Ministry that carries out its research in complete secrecy and that only few know what is actually held in the department, but doesn't that pose the most risk for compromising my cover? Would I not be under constant scrutiny and suspicion by the rest of the Ministry?" Hermione asked, trying to understand.
"The Department of Mysteries is a completely independent branch of the Ministry that acts of its own accord. Because the nature of the department deals with explicitly confidential material, they cannot answer to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for it would be completely out of their jurisdiction to act on something they do not have a proper understanding of. As it stands, not even the Minister can interfere with matters regarding the Unspeakables and their tasks."
Dumbledore watched as the young witch's expression shifted. It was slight, but it was enough to alert him of her hesitance. His head tilted slightly to the side as he read her doubts like an open book. "You seem uneasy?"
Hermione's eyes flicked down and away from the old wizard's gaze. She had to take a few deep breaths to steel herself and ease her accelerated heart rate. She was very uneasy. Taking on a job at the Ministry was something she had expected for herself when she travelled back to this decade. However, she hadn't given herself the time to prepare for the fact that by taking on a job at the Ministry, that she would be potentially exposing herself to a barrage of emotions she had pushed to the back of her mind a long time ago.
The Department of Mysteries was a horrifying place- a place that was filled with countless secrets and endless whispers of prophecies and tormented souls. The kind of work and research that wizards and witches conducted there was most certainly dark and cruel. She supposed that was the reason why the Unspeakables were given their names, not because of the highly confidential work that they did, though that was definitely part of the reason, but because the things they did were too awful to talk about. Hermione hated the Department of Mysteries with every fiber of her being and left her with emotional scars that would be with her for the rest of her life.
She could tell Dumbledore everything. She could divulge to him everything that she had witnessed, everything that she had been through in that one department in the Ministry that had left a permanent scar on her heart. Part of her wanted to beg, to plead for something that didn't involve her going back to that awful department. But Merlin knows that he would never listen. Time was a fickle thing and nothing good came from wizards and witches meddling with time, Hermione understood that concept more than most. However, she was here to fix her future, to save her friends and make sure that they would undoubtedly win the war against Voldemort and his Death Eaters and doing that meant meddling with time.
"Forgive me Professor," Hermione began, swallowing nervously. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, it's just that- the Department of Mysteries isn't exactly my favorite place to be."
"I take it you've been there before?" Dumbledore asked with inquisitive brows, his hand stroking the white hairs of his beard as he pondered her words.
She nodded slowly. "I have, several times in fact. It was in my own timeline, when the war was beginning to climb to its peak. My experiences there were never pleasant." She was still avoiding Dumbledore's gaze. Hermione could feel his eyes on her, she could feel the intensity of which he looked at her as if trying to read everything on her mind based on what she was willingly telling him. She had told him enough, without revealing too much sensitive information.
She needed to be careful. Though this entire mission was entrusted to her to interfere with events of the past to save her timeline, she still needed to be cautious with what she did and what she said. Meddling with the wrong thing could cause a cataclysmic event that would ripple through the timeline and tear apart everything she ever knew. Aside from that, Hermione didn't have enough information on the Infinitum watch apart from the Headmaster's letter to her that gave her any indication of how it worked. Then the pieces clicked together in her mind. The Time Room was located in the Department of Mysteries and she was in 1980, meaning that the Time Room was still very much intact. If Hermione worked as an Unspeakable, she could find a way to get into the Time Room or go through the detailed records that she was sure the department kept on any new findings. She would be able to research the Infinitum watch and perhaps then she could come up with a plan on how to go about fixing the future.
"I see." Came the Headmaster's reply, pulling Hermione from her swirling ideas. Closing his eyes for a moment, he released a heavy sigh. "If you wish, I can look for something else that would be more suitable for you. However, I don't think I will be able to pull as many strings as I was able to for this job. The Ministry is not my biggest supporter, I'm sure you can understand."
"No." Hermione stated much too quickly. Her eyes finally came to meet his. No longer was she afraid. Now she was determined.
Dumbledore lowered his head so that he could give her a pointed look. "I thought you said your time at the Department of Mysteries was unpleasant?"
"It was. However, I'm willing to push my uneasiness and my trepidations aside in favor of what I may discover, should you choose to allow me to go through with the position you set up for me." She explained, resting her elbows on the table.
"Is that so?" The Headmaster inquired.
"Yes, it is." She paused, allowing herself a moment to clear her throat and straighten her posture. "I have come to realize that there may be information I will be able to find regarding a specific watch in my possession. Working in the Department of Mysteries has the potential to provide me with the answers I need to complete my mission here in this time. I need to do research and I need answers. The department will give me that."
"Are you certain that this is what you want?"
"It is."
Leaning back in his chair, Dumbledore exhaled another sigh. He once again closed his eyes and began rubbing his thumb and index finger in the corners of his eyes to ease the tension that resided there. "Very well. I will make the necessary arrangements."
"Thank you Professor."