Disclaimer: I do not own Ratchet and Clank or any of its characters. So, this idea came from the Flufftober 2021 list I was following along, but since I swore not to post any Flufftober 2021 stories after October was over, we're going to pretend that I was inspired by many other fics with against-the-wall kisses.
Missed writing these two… Now thanks to RA, I have to add the "AU" tag to all of my Nef redemption stories from now on… Angy.
Public Display of Affection
Having a thick, muscular arm slap right in front of you while you were walking was annoying actually. Much more irritating and far less romantic than the holofilms had made them out to be.
Claws lifted to massaged the sides of his forehead. "Move it, oaf. We have to be at the dropship in fifteen minutes, and you know how I can't let that furball take the best seat-"
The other hand, Qwark's left one, scooped around the scientist's waist and flipped him to the doctor's right. Metal stabilizers hit the wall, sounding out a loud clang in the large yet empty hallway around them.
Nefarious looked up, and Qwark—in full charm and charisma—stood over him. Muscular arms draped against the wall on either side of the robot, blocking any chance for escape.
Qwark lowered his head, lifted one corner of his mouth higher than the other in a perfect flirty smirk, and purred out his words. "Hey, gorgeous~ Fancy catching you here…"
The scientist rolled his optics. "We're all going on the same mission."
"Buuuut! We came here at the same time." The hero's eyebrows wiggled, and he shimmied his shoulders in an inpatient way. "Whaddya say we… have a little action before the action? A…" concentration screwed up Qwark's face "-a… pre-action action."
Nefarious leveled his boyfriend with the deepest deadpanned look he could summon.
"That doesn't make any sense," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "And seriously, could you drop the act?"
All flirtation drained from Qwark, and he immediately drew his arms back to his sides. "What's wrong?"
The scientist grumbled something unintelligible, then spoke up again. "You standing over me hasn't been associated with good memories."
"Sooo…" A green finger lifted to tap at the side of his jawline. "If I did it a different way, would you feel better?"
Nefarious didn't stop his optics from rolling again. "Yeah, sure, maybe."
A beat of silence passed.
"Pi is 3.1629…"
Nefarious snapped his gaze back to Qwark, hands shooting to his hips and body already geared up for an argument. "No, you oaf! It's-"
Before the scientist could get another word in, Nefarious was lifted right off the ground.
Suddenly, hands were under his armpits, holding him more than five feet higher than he usually stood. Red optics shrank in complete shock when blue eyes looked up to his. The robot's arms hung limp, much like the rest of his body.
He was higher than his boyfriend.
Nefarious was looking down on Qwark.
…Qwark had picked him up and was holding him as if he weighed as much as a soda can.
An unconscious swallow bobbed Nefarious' head.
"Alright, take two." Qwark pulled back the flirty nature, but instead of the overconfident smirk, a shy and puppy-dog-eyed look filled Nefarious' sight. "Hey gorgeous~ Fancy catching you here… I see you're held up at the moment-"
The hero paused and preened, as if he was waiting for Nefarious to laugh.
Nothing came.
"-but I'm sure I can help you out," he purred, completely unfazed by the robot's stunned silence. "After all, I got a really smart boyfriend that knows how to get out of sticky situations. You should see him in action… He's one of a kind. And-"
Qwark didn't get in another word. Not that he wanted to, with Nefarious kissing him as if their lives depended on how passionate they could make it.
Nefarious' claws latched onto Qwark's shoulders and pulled the hero closer against him. A well-toned, muscular chest pressed against a smaller metal one. Heat grew between them, and their kiss grew more fevered, with more intensity, with more-
"DOOOOH'KAY!"
Both Nefarious and Qwark froze, their mouths still locked in the sloppy makeout.
"You know what… I'm not gunna say anything."
"Um… Ratchet? What is-"
"You'll see in a sec, pal."
The sound of Ratchet's boots passed by the two of them, fading as it went to the other side of the hall.
"Ah. I… see. Apologies for the… interruption."
"We'll be at the dropship. Be there in ten, guys, like we agreed on."
Nefarious leaned his head back to shout at the Lombax. "Yeah, yeah, squishy, we'll be there. Just don't take my spot near the back!"
"For subjecting me to your guys' over-the-top PDAs, I might just steal it."
Nefarious squirmed, then threw out his left arm in a 'I don't care' gesture. "Ah, whatever! Just leave us alone if you don't want a show!"
Qwark shifted, tilting his head from side-to-side, as if he was considering the option. "I mean… I'm up for putting on a show if you are, babe."
"Annnnnnnd, we're leaving now!"
"Good riddance!" Nefarious called out. He turned his attention back on his partner, mimicking an exasperated sigh. "Now, where were we before the spacerat and his backpack interrupted us?"
Qwark curled one corner of his mouth, and he pressed his full body against Nefarious' as he whispered close to the robot's audio receptor. "Taking way longer than ten minutes and making out in full view of anyone coming down the hallway?"
Nefarious matched his boyfriend's evil grin. "Oh, perfect. Let's continue then…"
Song Inspo: "Run This" by PLAZA.
No one is safe from public Qwarkarious makeout sessions. They will not stop. If you try to get them to stop, they will go at it even harder. Ratchet and Clank were not the first victims, nor will they be the last.
I hope you all enjoyed! :D It's been a long while since I've written Qwarkarious (especially without the weight of defeat destroying my motivation to write for them), but I had fun with this and hope to write them more soon. Thank you all for reading and supporting! :D